Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio Am. If
Speaker 1: you thought more hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
Speaker 1: think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic,
Speaker 1: a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the
Speaker 1: ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in
Speaker 1: the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for
Speaker 1: something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right
Speaker 1: now in the everywhere We are back at it again.
Speaker 1: Welcome into the magic podcast machine. The hot microphone is
Speaker 1: on right of slaving away over that hot microphone here
Speaker 1: at the podcast duty. Oh, the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller,
Speaker 1: as you know because you're listening right now, heard every Friday,
Speaker 1: Saturday and Sunday. It is a standalone podcast be the
Speaker 1: I Heart Podcast Network and available wherever you get your podcast.
Speaker 1: And so we thank you for fighting the program. Tell
Speaker 1: a friend, Tell a friend, Tell a friend, and we
Speaker 1: are joined again by west of the four oh five.
Speaker 1: David Gascon is here. What's up? What's up? Ben? No
Speaker 1: crowd noise today? Taking a day off. I guess they're
Speaker 1: hanging out doing something else. She's been a busy couple
Speaker 1: of days for the crowd. Yeah, some of them here,
Speaker 1: some of them in Iowa, you know, supporting uh White
Speaker 1: Sox and Yankees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So So here's the
Speaker 1: here's the deal. So you had Bruce Feldman, we had
Speaker 1: him on yesterday, a great, great conversation, and you suwly
Speaker 1: did at the end. You wounded it at the end
Speaker 1: with blatant slobbering all over your hero, calling coward in
Speaker 1: his restaurant a good host? Multis that is owner? That's payola?
Speaker 1: I believe it's what that is. I think you violated
Speaker 1: the payola laws of podcast and it's embarrassing. How do
Speaker 1: you sleep? How do you sleep with that? With multiple pillows?
Speaker 1: Four pillows one on my neck, one on my head,
Speaker 1: and then a couple around the arms. Sleep? Well, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: don't you know what? You know what they say about
Speaker 1: people who have a lot of pillows? You know what
Speaker 1: do they say? Well? I can't say it here because
Speaker 1: it's a family family pie. Oh Jesus, now you get
Speaker 1: g rated, get out of here. I'm a family man.
Speaker 1: We're just talking two weeks ago about our favorite cuss words.
Speaker 1: See you next Tuesday was number one R lists. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's the well, that's the big one. Hold on
Speaker 1: stick here's yeah. Yeah, alright, So anyway, what were you doing?
Speaker 1: You're like going to your well, No, I was, you know,
Speaker 1: you just trying to take care of something here, So
Speaker 1: I was. I am happy to report that Idea did
Speaker 1: modify our podcast from last week. I had quite a
Speaker 1: few listeners that semi emails and said, what the fund
Speaker 1: is that dead rooster in the background doing And they
Speaker 1: had no idea. It was Bella, So it was yeah,
Speaker 1: I changed that stuff around. And know you had a
Speaker 1: din that was in some pain, some big pain, major pain,
Speaker 1: kayote pain. Yeah. Yeah, And Bella has never done that before.
Speaker 1: And obviously since she was very odd, like the day
Speaker 1: that we talked about her being attacked by a code county,
Speaker 1: it was the day that she stood outside the studio
Speaker 1: here barking. It's very very bizarre, very bizarre. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't quite understand why she did that. But but
Speaker 1: she did and we survived. There was I guess it
Speaker 1: was perfect for that podcast. It wouldn't really work if
Speaker 1: we had a guest on hanging out with us and
Speaker 1: then there's a dog barking in the background. So now
Speaker 1: I have gotten a lot of pot cast complaints. Do
Speaker 1: you want do you want to hear the podcast complaint?
Speaker 1: The part, Sure, let's hear some complaints, all right. The
Speaker 1: complaint I've got a lot is in the description for
Speaker 1: the podcast. When McBain was in here, uh, he would
Speaker 1: put like the name of the guests and who was
Speaker 1: on that week on the podcast. People are saying that
Speaker 1: you don't do that and so never do that. But
Speaker 1: they one of the people that wrote in was like,
Speaker 1: well that's that's a mistake because people search. He says,
Speaker 1: I searched through podcast based on the guest and if
Speaker 1: I see a good name, I will then download the podcast. No, no,
Speaker 1: that was his His argument is that that you know,
Speaker 1: if you have a big name, you want to promote
Speaker 1: it and not you know, not make people have to
Speaker 1: search for His argument. My counter argument is that you're
Speaker 1: searching for the hosts and so whatever content they bring
Speaker 1: to the podcast and to the show is is is
Speaker 1: good filler, you know, whether it's their own content, it's
Speaker 1: a guest, it's a feature, it's an element, whatever it
Speaker 1: may be. That is all like the sides, like this
Speaker 1: is the filet, We're the beef, and then everything else
Speaker 1: is the sweet potatoes, the onions, the asparagus, all those
Speaker 1: sides they make the work. Now I am going to
Speaker 1: I'm actually disagree with that. I'll tell you why. All Right,
Speaker 1: the most successful podcast I think we can agree on
Speaker 1: this is the Joe Rogan Experience. Yeah. Yeah, when you
Speaker 1: go to the Joe Rogan Experience, the name of the
Speaker 1: guest is on every one of those podcasts. So and
Speaker 1: there's some people that like random martial arts people that
Speaker 1: no one knows who they are, Um, you know, a
Speaker 1: red belt in jiu jitsu or somewhere like that. We'll
Speaker 1: be on there. So if Roguing does it and he's
Speaker 1: the star of the show, we should do it. I
Speaker 1: think we should. We should model it after that. We
Speaker 1: think we should the name in the in the headline,
Speaker 1: I do, I do. I just I think for for
Speaker 1: stragglers because the way I look at I think the
Speaker 1: people that are fans of of like the overnight show
Speaker 1: and what we what we do. They're gonna listen anything anyway,
Speaker 1: So you're trying to get people that wouldn't normally listen.
Speaker 1: There's there's always those people. And I agree with this
Speaker 1: guy the email because you you look to me, I'm
Speaker 1: the same way, like I like certain people, you know,
Speaker 1: entertainers or whatever. And if I'll search, I'll be driving.
Speaker 1: I got a long drive. I'll be like, all right,
Speaker 1: if I can find a podcast with this person, so
Speaker 1: I'll type their name in and if it doesn't pop up,
Speaker 1: like I'm not you know, I'm not gonna gonna go
Speaker 1: out on my way to to listen. You know, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, that's that's my belief.
Speaker 1: But that was one of the one of the complain
Speaker 1: I guess I guess McBain just put the I didn't
Speaker 1: even look, but I guess you put the names of
Speaker 1: the people in there. But anyway, so on really a complaint,
Speaker 1: that's just more of a critique. All right, you know,
Speaker 1: consider it complaint. You know, it's all yeah, you you
Speaker 1: did not I have a complaint. Yeah, I um, I
Speaker 1: did not get a phone call from you on Thursday, um,
Speaker 1: Thursday I was celebrating a special anniversary. No phone call
Speaker 1: from you and no congratulations. Yeah, a little disappointed. But
Speaker 1: you know, you missed my birthday in July, and now
Speaker 1: you you missed my anniversary in August. It's uh, well
Speaker 1: that's not that's not actually true. I did wish you
Speaker 1: a happy birthday. You were not available on your birthday,
Speaker 1: but I did wish you a happy birthday. I remember that.
Speaker 1: I said you a very nice In fact, I even
Speaker 1: sent you a text before anybody else. It was like
Speaker 1: after midnight and I sent you a happy birthday. I did,
Speaker 1: what were you doing up? I couldn't sleep and saw me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep. I I celebrated a one year anniversary.
Speaker 1: I So during the pandemic, I I was doing a
Speaker 1: lot of reading and I read this book called Never
Speaker 1: Split the Difference, which is written by a FBI hostage
Speaker 1: negotiator named Chris Foss. And so it's a great book.
Speaker 1: It talks about a lot of anecdotal stuff. When he
Speaker 1: was a beat cop, how he got into the FBI,
Speaker 1: and how he became the lead hostage negotiator. Well, the
Speaker 1: way that he did that was he actually joined he
Speaker 1: was advised to join a local distress and crisis center
Speaker 1: to become a suicide crisis counselor. I thought that ship
Speaker 1: was fascinating, and then obviously he's like the top dog
Speaker 1: for the FBI and dealing with these terrorists from around
Speaker 1: the world and hostages and negotiations and a stuff. So
Speaker 1: I actually read the entire book, was thrilled to read it,
Speaker 1: and then a month later I started volunteering in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles for the National Suicide Prevention Center crisis line. And
Speaker 1: then your wife last year also bought me a book
Speaker 1: for my birthday called Talking to Strangers, which was fucking
Speaker 1: awesome and it was a perfect compliment. So on Thursday,
Speaker 1: I celebrated my one year anniversary August the twelve of
Speaker 1: of working there. So it was a question, how the
Speaker 1: funk am I supposed to know when you started working there? Seriously,
Speaker 1: you could ask, like, how would I? I don't know.
Speaker 1: You don't send me a list of key dates. It
Speaker 1: sound like the you know, the the NFL. The NFL
Speaker 1: sends me email key dates, the draft, the owners meetings.
Speaker 1: I don't have. I don't have a list of key
Speaker 1: dates in David Gascon's life. I don't have that should
Speaker 1: I do that, Should just make up fake like pr
Speaker 1: events in the in the year for Ben Mallory. Should
Speaker 1: I do that? Should just yeah, yeah, yeah, well you
Speaker 1: you know, that would not be the worst possible scenario.
Speaker 1: That would not be the worst possible scenario. Key dates
Speaker 1: of the mallon That Does that mean I'd have to
Speaker 1: include attempted request to attend an l A Ram's game,
Speaker 1: attempted request to go to Seahawks, like you have to
Speaker 1: put those in there, like yeah, well, and remember that
Speaker 1: I was injured because the Rams did not allow me
Speaker 1: to go to the game against Jamis Winston. I turnovers. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I stayed home and I made pizza and I was
Speaker 1: so excited to eat the pizza watching football, I burned
Speaker 1: my mouth and and then I did an entire week
Speaker 1: of Network radio on four plus radio stations, sounding like
Speaker 1: lou holes. I had a lisp the entire week. How embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my tongue was throbbing. It was horrible.
Speaker 1: It was absolutely that guy. I got Chris Voss though.
Speaker 1: I My wife had me. She's a big fan of his,
Speaker 1: and she had me. Yeah, she had me. Watched the
Speaker 1: master class and very very interesting how to communicate and
Speaker 1: the the simple premise that humans want to be accepted
Speaker 1: and understood, and that's really was all about. And and
Speaker 1: just being an active listener is the simplest way you
Speaker 1: can you can be part of that. So and the
Speaker 1: late night F M d J boys, he's got yeah,
Speaker 1: he's got smooth calming pipes. So I could see how
Speaker 1: people dropped their guard with him. It's uh, yeah, it's interesting,
Speaker 1: like teaching me about mirroring, teaching you about making your
Speaker 1: first impression last, like literally last in the conversation. Those
Speaker 1: are those are some interesting things. I mean I did
Speaker 1: sales when I was in my twenties and going to
Speaker 1: college and playing ball, and so I I used that
Speaker 1: and then obviously what we do here on the phones.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's pretty interesting. Man. You go through a
Speaker 1: lot of people that are just in different points in
Speaker 1: the life, but all have that that crisis, and some
Speaker 1: are are magnified during the you know, the last couple
Speaker 1: of years, and others are just you know, relationship things.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you gotta take everything seriously because you just
Speaker 1: never know what's gonna uh, what's gonna happen after get
Speaker 1: off the phone with him? Yeah, no, no, no, for sure.
Speaker 1: For sure. Um, so there you go, Chris. I've not
Speaker 1: read his book, but I did see the The Master Class.
Speaker 1: Have you taken any other ones besides that one, I've
Speaker 1: I've looked at a few of them. I haven't my
Speaker 1: I don't think we have this. I don't know if
Speaker 1: we have the subscription anymore. It's actually really good stuff.
Speaker 1: They did a give them crap. I mean, it's not
Speaker 1: that expensive and if you have the time, you can
Speaker 1: learn some really cool things pretty quick, pretty quick. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, Gordon Ramsey does a lot of his cooking
Speaker 1: stuff on there, doesn't he. Uh Yeah, There's a bunch
Speaker 1: of different chefs on there. There's magicians teaching you how
Speaker 1: to do I think Penn and Teller did some stuff
Speaker 1: trying to do magic and just random random things. It's
Speaker 1: pretty it's pretty cool. So anyway, on this podcast, we
Speaker 1: have done in by a piece of paper gas tastic,
Speaker 1: and then we have time we'll have some pop quiz
Speaker 1: so we'll see how this this goes. But we started
Speaker 1: with done in by a piece of paper. So last
Speaker 1: weekend I was running some errands and I made my
Speaker 1: weekly pilgrimage to the Holy Land Costco to buy a
Speaker 1: few things and I purchased I remember I personal water.
Speaker 1: I had to buy some half and half and some
Speaker 1: other random assorted crap. Uh. And and then I went,
Speaker 1: like most people do you buy the stuff? You went
Speaker 1: to the went to the checkout stand. Now that's all
Speaker 1: pretty standard operating procedures. So so I went to the
Speaker 1: self checkoutline, which is relatively new with the Costco. I'm
Speaker 1: at this is like the last like six months they've
Speaker 1: added this thing, which I fully support the self checkoutline.
Speaker 1: The only problem is Costco has got a lot of big,
Speaker 1: bulky items, so you have to wait for somebody to
Speaker 1: come over. The one time I tried to put the
Speaker 1: big case of water on the the checkout thing and
Speaker 1: it didn't work because I dropped the water. It fell everywhere.
Speaker 1: It was a big, big ship show. Uh. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so I did the self checkout thing that was wide open,
Speaker 1: paid for my stuff, and then I made a bee
Speaker 1: line to the Costco food court. And I'm a traditionalist
Speaker 1: when it comes to the food coat. So so I
Speaker 1: purchased the what I all, the timeless Costco meal, which
Speaker 1: is a slice of pizza hot dog, uh, slice of
Speaker 1: pizza hot dog and then I decided I was gonna
Speaker 1: crank things up a couple of notches, and I waited
Speaker 1: until I finished my hot dog slice of pizza, and
Speaker 1: then I went back to the counter and I got
Speaker 1: the Very Sunday, which I love. Delicious, right delicious. The
Speaker 1: whole meal is like seven bucks, I think. Now they
Speaker 1: raised the price, and some of that stuff, the hot
Speaker 1: dogs at the same price. Everything else they raised the price,
Speaker 1: so I was like seven eight bucks whatever fund So
Speaker 1: I'm I'm wrapping up a very nice meal on a
Speaker 1: Saturday afternoon. I then head for the exit. So remember
Speaker 1: I have the water, the half and half, some other
Speaker 1: random stuff. And as I'm waiting online, when you when
Speaker 1: you leave Costco, you have to have your receipt, like
Speaker 1: they mark your receipt when you leave out the front
Speaker 1: of Costco. So as I get closer and closer, I
Speaker 1: put my right hand in to my what you know,
Speaker 1: my my pocket to get out the receipt. And so
Speaker 1: I pull out the receipt and it was the receipt
Speaker 1: for the Very Sunday that I just purchased, which I
Speaker 1: don't really I don't need to use that. So then
Speaker 1: I reached back in my pocket thinking well, I gotta
Speaker 1: get the other receipt. And this is where something went
Speaker 1: terribly wrong. This is where something went terribly wrong. So
Speaker 1: I had somehow in my haste, I had thrown away
Speaker 1: the receipt that I needed to exit Costco. I just
Speaker 1: accidentally thrown it away. And uh, I didn't even realized
Speaker 1: I was doing it when I was thrown away some
Speaker 1: of the other trash. And so when I reached in
Speaker 1: the shorts to grab the receipt, there was nowhere. It
Speaker 1: was nowhere to be seen. So I had accidentally tossed
Speaker 1: it in the trash game. So I went back. My
Speaker 1: first move was like, oh crap, I gotta get out
Speaker 1: of here. So I went back, and I, I do admit,
Speaker 1: I opened up the trash where I had thrown stuff away,
Speaker 1: and I thought, well, just reach in there and you know,
Speaker 1: get get it out and all that stuff. And so
Speaker 1: I did that, and then well, unfortunately there was so
Speaker 1: much new food on top I could not find the
Speaker 1: piece of paper. When I felt I felt really pathetic
Speaker 1: dumpster diving at Costco or trash diving at Costco. So
Speaker 1: then I made the walk of shame. I was left
Speaker 1: no option. Made the walk of shame back to the
Speaker 1: self service teller area, and a nice woman that works
Speaker 1: at Costco felt pity on me, and apparently this is
Speaker 1: not this is not un normal, like this happens quite
Speaker 1: a bit, and I'm not in the minority on this,
Speaker 1: and so they knew exactly what to do. She directed
Speaker 1: me to the back room at Costco, the famous back
Speaker 1: room where all the bookkeeping is done. And I went
Speaker 1: back there and I handed them my Costco card and bamp.
Speaker 1: Within five minutes, I had a copy of my receipt
Speaker 1: and I was able to exit stage right. It's pretty
Speaker 1: remarkable all in all. How much time do you think
Speaker 1: you spent in there doing all that? Well, it was
Speaker 1: the actual once I went and asked for help, It
Speaker 1: didn't take that long, but I spent a lot of
Speaker 1: time retracing my steps, thinking maybe it had fallen out
Speaker 1: of my pocket where I was sitting. Then I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I must have thrown it away when I threw away
Speaker 1: the hot dog rapper and the mustard container and all that,
Speaker 1: and so I like, I was retracing my steps, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was maybe like fifteen minutes or something.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that long, but it was just embarrassing, you know, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a grown ass man and I've done
Speaker 1: this song and dance a million times and I have
Speaker 1: to go back and asked for another receipt. I felt
Speaker 1: like such a such a mama, Luke, what what am
Speaker 1: I doing here? But a lot of things happened to
Speaker 1: you at Costco. It's just adds to it. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time there. I spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time at Costco, and I had another cost
Speaker 1: I have three Costco related stories that my grandfather would say,
Speaker 1: I'm such a hawser that I deserved this, which is
Speaker 1: a Yiddish for for pig. So that I had some
Speaker 1: time because I I had to come down to the
Speaker 1: house I'm moving to and I had to wait. My
Speaker 1: wife wanted me to wait for a delivery. She was
Speaker 1: very concerned the delivery would not be made unless I
Speaker 1: was there. But this wasn't like eight thirty in the
Speaker 1: morning on a Saturday, and I usually go to bed
Speaker 1: at like seven or seven thirty, So this was like
Speaker 1: completely flipping my schedule around. But she wanted me to
Speaker 1: do it. She was working, so I did it. So
Speaker 1: I went down there and I get there right at
Speaker 1: the window for delivery was between eight thirty and like
Speaker 1: I think it was like eight thirty and like one
Speaker 1: or something like that. But as soon as I get there,
Speaker 1: the trucks pulling up to make the delivery. But I
Speaker 1: had scheduled a lunch for like one o'clock in the
Speaker 1: afternoon with a buddy of mine, So I then had
Speaker 1: a bunch of time to kill because I didn't expect
Speaker 1: them to show up that early. I thought I was
Speaker 1: just gonna be there waiting, and then once they show up,
Speaker 1: then i'd have a little bit of time because i'd
Speaker 1: be I was on watch, and so I don't a lot.
Speaker 1: So I made there's like three costcos around that house
Speaker 1: where I'm moving to. I don't know if I should
Speaker 1: admit this, but I decided, you know what, let me
Speaker 1: do a costco sample. Run all three. All three, I'll
Speaker 1: run the gauntlet, I'll run the marathon. So I did.
Speaker 1: But here's the problem. I was in my fasting windows,
Speaker 1: so I couldn't eat the samples. I had to wait.
Speaker 1: Because I I fast for at least I tried to
Speaker 1: at least seventeen eighteen a day. I usually do closer
Speaker 1: to twenty four a couple of days, a couple of
Speaker 1: times during the week, I'll do like forty plus hours whatever.
Speaker 1: So I had to wait. So but the cool thing
Speaker 1: now is at COVID. They handed out the samples and
Speaker 1: they were all in like these little paper bag type
Speaker 1: things and all that. So so I was like, fine,
Speaker 1: and I took the samples from the first Costco, put
Speaker 1: them in the car, put him in the back seat
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't be tempted to eat him. Once of
Speaker 1: the second Costco, same thing, had a few better samples
Speaker 1: at that place, same same deal, put in the back.
Speaker 1: Now at this Costco they had some that were not
Speaker 1: in bags. They were in those like little paper you know, uh,
Speaker 1: the paper things like but yeah, like the chocolate almond
Speaker 1: things they'll put it. So I had some of those.
Speaker 1: All right, fine, I'm doing pretty good. I have. I
Speaker 1: have killed it on the on the Costco samples. So
Speaker 1: then I go to the third Costco and and I'm
Speaker 1: at this one and more of the same, more of
Speaker 1: the same, and so I'm like, oh man, and the
Speaker 1: whole the whole back seat behind the driver filled with
Speaker 1: Costco samples. But it's again, it's too early in the
Speaker 1: morning by this time, It's probably like ten thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning. Whatever, So whatever, I put them all back
Speaker 1: there and I'm not gonna be tempted eat. So then
Speaker 1: I go and I had to run a few more errands.
Speaker 1: I just did some random shopping, and then it was
Speaker 1: time for me. I had reached the point where I
Speaker 1: was going to end my fast, and so I went
Speaker 1: to eat the samples, and much to my horror, it
Speaker 1: had gotten very hot between the time that I had
Speaker 1: put the samples back there in the morning until the afternoon,
Speaker 1: and there was a big portion of the back seat
Speaker 1: of the Malamobile that had turned a milky brown color
Speaker 1: from the milk chocolate that had melted and been infused
Speaker 1: to the back seat of the car. So yeah, it
Speaker 1: was that was my my Costco sample run gone bad?
Speaker 1: Did you happen to take a picture? Be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days
Speaker 1: at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Mallard Show week days
Speaker 1: at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Speaker 1: Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. I did not
Speaker 1: it did look very similar to the bathroom when I
Speaker 1: had my famous gold bladder when I was whil walking
Speaker 1: and I couldn't make the bathroom, and why actually that's
Speaker 1: not actually true. I did make into the bathroom. I
Speaker 1: just misfired. The torpedo did not strike the bull's eye.
Speaker 1: The torpedo, it's the submarine went the other direction, so
Speaker 1: it did not go where it was supposed to go. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1: How long did it take you to clean out the
Speaker 1: back seat? Well, I immediately had a few napkins, so
Speaker 1: I tried to rub as much of it off as
Speaker 1: I could I could. I was standing there. People must
Speaker 1: have thought I was a loony tunes because I went
Speaker 1: in there. I took a bunch of napkins. They were
Speaker 1: all crusted in milk chocolate, like it's warm milk chocolate.
Speaker 1: And then then I poured water because I had some water,
Speaker 1: I poured water over it, took some more napkins. I
Speaker 1: actually did a pretty good job on that alone, um,
Speaker 1: because it was still warm and it hadn't dried or
Speaker 1: anything like that. But there's still remnants of it even
Speaker 1: to today. I gotta get my car like professionally detailed detailed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that'll that'll take care of it. I mean, it
Speaker 1: figures chocolate. It'll come out at some point, right, you
Speaker 1: figure that'll be the case. I think, yeah, it should,
Speaker 1: it will. But yeah, yeah, that's it. Well, that's that's
Speaker 1: a lesson. See I was hoarding Costco samples and I
Speaker 1: didn't need them right away, and that's what happened. Any
Speaker 1: chance in the future I could just, you know, borrowing
Speaker 1: of your Costco cards for some cheaper gas. Oh you
Speaker 1: don't have a Costco membership, do not know? Well, speaking
Speaker 1: of that, Oh, I I'm glad you brought that up. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I don't have chea, but I have a gastastic story.
Speaker 1: Al alright, so I know this is all all Costco
Speaker 1: all the time. You give me twenty minutes, I'll give
Speaker 1: you nothing but Costco. So I was getting gas at Costco,
Speaker 1: same week, same weekend, I had the sample run, same weekend.
Speaker 1: I hey, I forgot my I lost my receipt. So
Speaker 1: I'm getting gas at Costco. I do this at least
Speaker 1: once a week, probably twice a week. I get my
Speaker 1: wife gas and I get myself get so. Uh Now,
Speaker 1: typically I try try to go to Costco in the morning,
Speaker 1: little little hack for your life hack. But weekend morning, right, No, no,
Speaker 1: i'll go. I'll go during the week I'll go because
Speaker 1: if you go, the gas station near me opens at
Speaker 1: five thirty in the morning. So if you go right
Speaker 1: when it opens, boom, right to the right, you know,
Speaker 1: there's no waiting online. You beat you beat the rush.
Speaker 1: There's usually a few guys that are tradesmen that drive
Speaker 1: like pickup trucks, that are plumbers or carpenters, and they've
Speaker 1: got there there, but there's no there's not a long wait.
Speaker 1: And so every once in a while I'll go regular
Speaker 1: hours and last weekend was one of those days, and
Speaker 1: it was a long winding road waiting online, and I
Speaker 1: when I finally got to the front of the line
Speaker 1: and I got to the point of pumping the gas,
Speaker 1: the guy that works at Costco Gas was there. And
Speaker 1: so now I'm a bit of an introvert um. I
Speaker 1: don't normally start conversations with random strangers, but for some
Speaker 1: reason I was curious. Curiosity killed the cats. So I
Speaker 1: was like, this guy's here, He's the guy that would
Speaker 1: have the answer. And I was looking at this long line.
Speaker 1: And every time I have gone by Costco for the
Speaker 1: last like three or four months, there has been a
Speaker 1: long line going out to the street for people buying gas.
Speaker 1: So the guy is working doing his thing. He's kind
Speaker 1: of observing. So I I say, hey, I got a
Speaker 1: question for it. Very nice gentleman wearing the Costco gas hat,
Speaker 1: the whole thing, it was just a Costco hat, but
Speaker 1: he was a greenly guessing. Uh So, Being the curious
Speaker 1: cat that I am, I asked the guys, how many
Speaker 1: cars do you get a day? On average? Every time
Speaker 1: I drive by here, there is an insane amount of
Speaker 1: cars where, you know, and it doesn't matter whether it's
Speaker 1: here any of the random Costco gas stations I've been to,
Speaker 1: and you know certainly where I am now, near the
Speaker 1: halfway house of the Mallard mansion. And his answer blew
Speaker 1: me away. How many cars do you think a single
Speaker 1: Costco out in Suburbia gets per day? I'm gonna say twelve.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of cars, right, That's a ton of cars.
Speaker 1: According to his number, he said, the the average per
Speaker 1: day number of cars that goes through the Costco gas
Speaker 1: station three thousand, eight hundred per day, Holy shit, per day?
Speaker 1: And uh the the he told me how much gas
Speaker 1: they go through per day? This is This also blew
Speaker 1: me away. Again. This is just a single gas station
Speaker 1: at Costco, not two or three, just one single gas stations. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say ten thousand gallons, not even close. How
Speaker 1: about forty to forty five thousand gallons a day of gas?
Speaker 1: So I did I did some Mallard math on this.
Speaker 1: If the guy is correct, and he had no reason
Speaker 1: to lie to me, he didn't know who I was.
Speaker 1: I didn't know who he was. He was just you
Speaker 1: know whatever. That means based on a traditional three fifty
Speaker 1: five day calendar, right, Based on that, then the math
Speaker 1: on this, so thirty eight hundred cars per day times
Speaker 1: each day of the year. But but I did three
Speaker 1: fifty five actually because they're they're closed like ten days,
Speaker 1: So I didn't do the three sixty. I did three.
Speaker 1: So that's the math. That's why I did the math
Speaker 1: on that. So it's one million, three hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: roughly three fifty thousand cars per year based on that,
Speaker 1: again discounting the days we they're not open, the holiday,
Speaker 1: the random holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, the fourth of July, New
Speaker 1: Year's you know, if other so um, and then that
Speaker 1: also the math on that equals of fourteen over fourteen
Speaker 1: million gallons of gas per year for one single costco,
Speaker 1: just random costco. That is that just blew me away. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the other thing that will be fascinating with your story. Now.
Speaker 1: I am looking I said this tongue in cheek. I
Speaker 1: am looking forward to what happens here in the near
Speaker 1: future when we as Americans start getting taxed to drive.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's gonna happen. I don't, I do,
Speaker 1: I don't. They'll just they'll just add another gas tax,
Speaker 1: they'll add more to the games. You trust our government.
Speaker 1: I don't trust the government. But that would upset a
Speaker 1: hell of a lot of people, everybody that would be
Speaker 1: bipartisan anger, I would think, because for most people, you
Speaker 1: don't have any other way to go around other than driving.
Speaker 1: You know, It's not like if you're in Manhattan, you
Speaker 1: can take public transportation, maybe you get shanked, maybe you won't.
Speaker 1: But wait with Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston, New or or d C.
Speaker 1: You get around via but not even not even d C.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of the political class live outside the
Speaker 1: Beltway and you drive in from Maryland or Virginia, So
Speaker 1: you'd be affecting all of those people. Yeah, but they
Speaker 1: usually have like government paid for accounts, probably right, Like
Speaker 1: you're gonna have some kind of fringe benefits with those
Speaker 1: those government positions. Yeah, I don't. I'm gonna be Benny
Speaker 1: brightside of this one. I do not think they're going
Speaker 1: to charge per mile. We're idiots. The Californians voted for
Speaker 1: a tax a couple of years ago. Don't you remember
Speaker 1: that now? Well, Californians are idiots. Um, And I feel
Speaker 1: bad for our friends in Texas and in Tennessee because
Speaker 1: the Californian voter is moving to your state and they're
Speaker 1: going to bring the same disease to your state. It's
Speaker 1: going to happen any proposition that raises taxes. I vote
Speaker 1: no on and my neighbors, my brothers, sisters that live
Speaker 1: around me all vote yes on them. And the way
Speaker 1: they sell them, you know, it's the old boiling frog.
Speaker 1: It's just well it's a temporary increase, it'll it'll it's
Speaker 1: for the children. It's for the children, or it's for
Speaker 1: some you know, it's some pulling the heartstrings group. And
Speaker 1: then people always invite in California and particularly always vote
Speaker 1: yes on them. These things never go away. Once they
Speaker 1: raise the tax, it never goes away. You know, it's
Speaker 1: no need to You've already fleeced the public. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: a national gas to accent, No, Well, the Republicans wouldn't
Speaker 1: vote for it. All you needs a few Democrats not
Speaker 1: to vote for it, and we had we had nineteen
Speaker 1: Senators that voted for it though with the Infrastructure Bill,
Speaker 1: because they approved a case testing of such. So you know,
Speaker 1: Buddha Jedge has this commission right now for the Department
Speaker 1: of Transportation. He's looking into that and obviously it's a
Speaker 1: way to push electric vehicles in and move gas powered
Speaker 1: automotive vehicles out. But but even that nineteen is less
Speaker 1: than of the senators representing the fifty states. So that's
Speaker 1: you would need more, you'd need another It has to
Speaker 1: be that have to be. Like. But the thing is, though,
Speaker 1: is that you had all the Democrats jump on board
Speaker 1: and then nineteen Republican senators and you know, and they
Speaker 1: got it passed by the House of Representatives. So this
Speaker 1: thing's done and done man like they're I mean, not
Speaker 1: the tax yet, but it's like the commission to explore
Speaker 1: the opportunity of of tax in the public on this
Speaker 1: So I mean, I I believe it will not end
Speaker 1: up happening. I think there'll be too much fallout for that,
Speaker 1: because you're really going to be hurting the poor people
Speaker 1: more than the rich people they don't afford it. Well,
Speaker 1: I thought, I thought the Democrats their whole talking point
Speaker 1: was we're looking out for the little guys. They sell
Speaker 1: it as every time, right that there, But then you
Speaker 1: have like the the other Republicans in the same way, like, well,
Speaker 1: we're defending the middle class, and it's like, well, bullshit,
Speaker 1: you are. I think it would be attacks on the
Speaker 1: poor people who can't afford it and have to drive
Speaker 1: and they can't afford fuel the fishing cars. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: and that's the kicker then, because if they can't afford it,
Speaker 1: then guess what you're doing negative rely on the government
Speaker 1: to help you out, and that's exactly what they want.
Speaker 1: Like it is a I don't think. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen're a negative person. I don't think it's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. But I'm positive. I just see it more
Speaker 1: and more now with where we're going. How like the
Speaker 1: split in the three tier society that we live in,
Speaker 1: upper class, middle and lower is just the middle class
Speaker 1: is getting wiped out. That's exactly what's happening. And so
Speaker 1: you're either relying on the government or you're you're making
Speaker 1: it on your own. You're actually making some good coin. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, we have a little time for pop quiz.
Speaker 1: Will do a few of these real quick. Here we go,
Speaker 1: pop quiz. We'll see what we can get to. On average,
Speaker 1: moms spend fifty five minutes a week doing this. What
Speaker 1: is it? My mom used to do this, but then
Speaker 1: she finally gave up. Uh, making their kids eat the
Speaker 1: rest of their dinner, ironing their kids clothes. It's throwing
Speaker 1: the dryer man. Yeah, my mom remember her with the
Speaker 1: ironing board out when I was little, and she occasionally
Speaker 1: would burn herself with the iron, and she was always
Speaker 1: freaking out because those kids, you know, were bouncing all
Speaker 1: over the place. We were gonna get hurt with the iron.
Speaker 1: She always give us like the ten minutes speech about
Speaker 1: how this will kill you and burn you, and then
Speaker 1: she eventually just gave up and said it doesn't matter. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I agree with her giving up on that. I
Speaker 1: don't even own an ironing we don't have an ironing board.
Speaker 1: Or an iron here. What we there's there's actually something
Speaker 1: that you guys have recently got that I need to
Speaker 1: to bring up to so you let me know anything.
Speaker 1: I don't know what we've we've we've gotten alight anyway.
Speaker 1: It's hard to believe, but over half of us say
Speaker 1: we never do this during the summer. What is it?
Speaker 1: Go to the beach? Uh No, Well, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people that don't live near a beach. Go in
Speaker 1: the water, no where, sunscreen, I don't do that. I
Speaker 1: got a bad happen. I'm not doing that well, like
Speaker 1: even like face lotion, you know, because you're like, he
Speaker 1: gets dry and yeah, yeah, I have to wear suns.
Speaker 1: I hate when I don't mean I don't mind necessarily
Speaker 1: being burned in the middle part of my arms or
Speaker 1: my legs. But the thing that I hate is the
Speaker 1: joints my knee and my elbow. I've had some really
Speaker 1: bad sunburns on my elbow, like inside and of my elbow.
Speaker 1: You know, every time you move your arm, it freaking hurts.
Speaker 1: It sucks, man, So I always make sure to cover that.
Speaker 1: In the back of my neck. Yeah, I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: cover all of me and suntan lotion. So I guess
Speaker 1: I could get a really awkward sunburn based on that.
Speaker 1: Your pasting white too, so I don't know what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. I am a beautiful shade of whiteness that
Speaker 1: has It's a part of being nocturnal. Man, you don't
Speaker 1: don't get the sun all right. Anyway, Thirty five percent
Speaker 1: of people in a new survey said they do this
Speaker 1: at work to try to get a promotion. They look,
Speaker 1: they look at competing companies online. Uh no, they work overtime.
Speaker 1: I did that when I first started at Fox Sports Rating.
Speaker 1: For the first nine years of Fox Sports Radio, I
Speaker 1: worked every holiday, every shift. Any time they called me,
Speaker 1: I worked. Now, I did that because I was wanting
Speaker 1: I wanted to get promoted, but I also thought that
Speaker 1: would be great job security. And then on January of
Speaker 1: twenty nine, I got whacked and I said, Okay, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter that I worked every holiday, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter that I worked every time they called me. Even
Speaker 1: if I had an event with my family or my friends,
Speaker 1: I canceled it to work. So I still work a
Speaker 1: lot of holidays, but if I have plans, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah, because they can
Speaker 1: get ready, I learned in corporate America, we are just
Speaker 1: a number on a on a piece of paper. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. That's all you are. And you know, you'd
Speaker 1: like to think you're more important than that, but no,
Speaker 1: you know, really, at the end, if if you're salary
Speaker 1: gets too high, or they can find somebody cheaper, or
Speaker 1: they need to save a couple of bucks, you're gone.
Speaker 1: That's just how it works. That and cronyism, well that
Speaker 1: also does. All right. A new survey finds of global
Speaker 1: organizations expect this. I expect to experience this in the
Speaker 1: next year. Automation, Uh no, a breach of customer records,
Speaker 1: Russian hacking, Russians or North Koreans. Maybe the FBI. I
Speaker 1: mean they'll just FBI just tap into your phone, all right,
Speaker 1: eight calm down, Tinfoil hat Man's Apple admitted to it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Eight six percent of parents surveyed said they have at
Speaker 1: least one of these in the in the family. I
Speaker 1: think it's higher than eight six. Um A criminal, A criminal,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Uh, picky eater, picky eater. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna I was a picky eater where you Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was that was all right, we have another study.
Speaker 1: I'll do a couple of studies real quick. We'll get
Speaker 1: out of here, all right. So, escort services, strip clubs,
Speaker 1: according to a new study, they actually helped reduce sex crimes.
Speaker 1: I believe that. Yeah, I do too. Now, there was
Speaker 1: this counter argument that you can't you know, strip clubs
Speaker 1: are terrible for the community, and then you know the
Speaker 1: escorts and all that stuff. But according to a study
Speaker 1: out of Princeton, New Jersey. Uh, they claimed that strip
Speaker 1: clubs and professional women of the night, floozies or whatever
Speaker 1: you wanna call, uh, that there's a significant drop in
Speaker 1: sex crimes. According to the study, researchers say that they
Speaker 1: have shown that opening adult entertainment venues like strip clubs,
Speaker 1: escort services, adult bookshops, and adult theaters even actually caused
Speaker 1: a decrease in the number of sex related crimes that
Speaker 1: were committed nearby. They found the presence of the adult
Speaker 1: entertainment led to a thirteen pcent reduction in sex crimes
Speaker 1: in the area one week after the opening. And uh,
Speaker 1: there was a bunch of other stuff here in the study,
Speaker 1: But that makes sense, right, There's a lot of people
Speaker 1: need to how do we how do we say release
Speaker 1: gascon right? So you know, if they can't, you know,
Speaker 1: find somebody else to spend time with, and they gotta
Speaker 1: go somewhere and get a professional. Yeah, it's like the
Speaker 1: instant crack pipe. They just they want the hit and
Speaker 1: that's it. So what's interesting? That is intriguing? Intriguing? H
Speaker 1: let's see here? What else do we have? We do
Speaker 1: one more? What's a good one? Here? And see page down,
Speaker 1: page down? Oh oh, this one's I thought this was
Speaker 1: very interesting from earlier this week that billboards in space.
Speaker 1: Did you see this one? I heard a little something
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, yeah, space X, the Tesla folks, space
Speaker 1: X and a Canadian startup group are going to turn
Speaker 1: space into a billboard. Yeah. I'm so happy. I I'm
Speaker 1: so happy I dipped into Tesla stock. I'm really happy
Speaker 1: about that. Elon Musk taking advertising to space on a
Speaker 1: small satellite aboard the Falcon nine rocket and uh now
Speaker 1: it's not gonna feature the classic advertising billboard that we
Speaker 1: see around town. The ads will run on a pick
Speaker 1: excellated digital screen on a satellite called Cube Sat. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is out of Calgary, Calgary, and then they go
Speaker 1: through all the details on how this is gonna work here,
Speaker 1: it's pretty dope. Yeah, what do they do? Like Santa
Speaker 1: Barbara one of my favorite places to visit, Santa Barbara,
Speaker 1: they have no billboards. They're not you're not allowed to
Speaker 1: have billboards in Santa Barbara proper? Are they gonna? Are
Speaker 1: they gonna cover the sky so you can't see the
Speaker 1: heavens the cosmos out there because of this? Man? Can
Speaker 1: you imagine you're driving? I guess they can. They can
Speaker 1: really only do this at night, right, I would think
Speaker 1: right for to have the full proper effect, I guess
Speaker 1: you could. How would you how would it work during
Speaker 1: the day? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know. Uh, well,
Speaker 1: there's a will, there's a way. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: you can darken the lights, right Yeah. Man, that's that's
Speaker 1: pretty out there though. Literally speaking, it says since pixels
Speaker 1: are too small to be seen from Earth or space,
Speaker 1: the a selfie stick on the cube SAP will capture
Speaker 1: the image. Oh so they're gonna like live streaming on
Speaker 1: YouTube or maybe like Discovery or NASA channel. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: have to read more about this, but that's uh, that's
Speaker 1: what we do. One thing we need is more advertising.
Speaker 1: We're in the advertising business. More programming, right, more programming
Speaker 1: of the mind. Yeah, all right, well that will do it.
Speaker 1: For the Saturday program, Get the mail bag. We'll go
Speaker 1: deep inside the mailbag. Letters, we get letters. We gotta
Speaker 1: find that song, you know, the old letter song from
Speaker 1: the Letterman Show. We gotta get a copy of that.
Speaker 1: Play that for the Big open Ken. We had a
Speaker 1: giant email sent to us last year about playing even
Speaker 1: a second because on radio terrestrial readio can play up
Speaker 1: the seven seconds I believe, but you know it's more
Speaker 1: than seven's actually can play it like what depends on
Speaker 1: how much you pay to ask cap but it's like
Speaker 1: a minute or something like for talk radio forty seconds
Speaker 1: to admitute something like that. Well, on the podcast, you
Speaker 1: can't even play a second. You get tagged. I guess
Speaker 1: someone had done that, not with Fox, but with the
Speaker 1: with one of our FM affiliates, and they got slapped
Speaker 1: with the hefty hefty fine. Ah, okay, that good. Well
Speaker 1: we can play the Mallard original tunes. Were allowed to
Speaker 1: play that because those are listeners sent in and they
Speaker 1: gave us their blessing to play the songs. So if
Speaker 1: we have a listener. One of our very talented musicians
Speaker 1: in the Mallem Militia that writes a little letter song.
Speaker 1: We get letters letters, you know, change do whatever we
Speaker 1: want to be creative. We can play that every Sunday
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I mean, if Jay Scoop does it,
Speaker 1: I'm good. But if it's anybody else, fuck them. What
Speaker 1: are you talking about? We have a main braz Quit.
Speaker 1: The band is great. Uh. The guy in Ohio that
Speaker 1: that he was wonderful. The guy in made with the
Speaker 1: blues song the Richmond Virginia did a battle him of
Speaker 1: the Mallew Militia wonderful. I'm usually asleep during that ship show,
Speaker 1: but Jay Scoop I'll stay up for Wow. You really
Speaker 1: sucking up to Jay Scoop. I don't know why he
Speaker 1: would be doing that. Listen. Maybe he's buying me a
Speaker 1: first class ticket up to Seattle. You never know. Man,
Speaker 1: it's good for mal it's good for me. Right, Well,
Speaker 1: if you were good at your job, maybe he will.
Speaker 1: That's all about anyway. Listen, have a great rest of
Speaker 1: your Saturday and we will catch you on Sunday. Aloha