WEBVTT - Three Times the Fun 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.400 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.600 Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:08.039 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.639 Show weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:17.239 Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio Am. If 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:21.160 you thought more hours a day, minutes a week was enough, 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:25.079 think again. He's the last remnants of the old Republic, 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:28.560 a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.520 ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:35.960 the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break free for 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:40.280 something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:47.920 now in the everywhere We are back at it again. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:54.680 Welcome into the magic podcast machine. The hot microphone is 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.640 on right of slaving away over that hot microphone here 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:03.200 at the podcast duty. Oh, the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller, 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:07.440 as you know because you're listening right now, heard every Friday, 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:11.360 Saturday and Sunday. It is a standalone podcast be the 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:17.080 I Heart Podcast Network and available wherever you get your podcast. 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.360 And so we thank you for fighting the program. Tell 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:23.399 a friend, Tell a friend, Tell a friend, and we 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.319 are joined again by west of the four oh five. 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:30.679 David Gascon is here. What's up? What's up? Ben? No 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:33.960 crowd noise today? Taking a day off. I guess they're 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.080 hanging out doing something else. She's been a busy couple 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:40.119 of days for the crowd. Yeah, some of them here, 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.480 some of them in Iowa, you know, supporting uh White 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:48.200 Sox and Yankees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So So here's the 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:50.920 here's the deal. So you had Bruce Feldman, we had 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.720 him on yesterday, a great, great conversation, and you suwly 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:55.280 did at the end. You wounded it at the end 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:01.840 with blatant slobbering all over your hero, calling coward in 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:09.480 his restaurant a good host? Multis that is owner? That's payola? 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:11.520 I believe it's what that is. I think you violated 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:15.000 the payola laws of podcast and it's embarrassing. How do 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:18.040 you sleep? How do you sleep with that? With multiple pillows? 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.560 Four pillows one on my neck, one on my head, 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:23.000 and then a couple around the arms. Sleep? Well, it's like, well, 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:24.600 don't you know what? You know what they say about 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.040 people who have a lot of pillows? You know what 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.399 do they say? Well? I can't say it here because 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.799 it's a family family pie. Oh Jesus, now you get 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.720 g rated, get out of here. I'm a family man. 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:38.359 We're just talking two weeks ago about our favorite cuss words. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.960 See you next Tuesday was number one R lists. Yeah, yeah, 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:48.840 that's that's the well, that's the big one. Hold on 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.640 stick here's yeah. Yeah, alright, So anyway, what were you doing? 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.160 You're like going to your well, No, I was, you know, 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:56.960 you just trying to take care of something here, So 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:00.120 I was. I am happy to report that Idea did 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:04.360 modify our podcast from last week. I had quite a 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:07.040 few listeners that semi emails and said, what the fund 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.320 is that dead rooster in the background doing And they 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.320 had no idea. It was Bella, So it was yeah, 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:14.799 I changed that stuff around. And know you had a 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:19.160 din that was in some pain, some big pain, major pain, 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:25.280 kayote pain. Yeah. Yeah, And Bella has never done that before. 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:30.280 And obviously since she was very odd, like the day 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.959 that we talked about her being attacked by a code county, 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:36.280 it was the day that she stood outside the studio 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:42.400 here barking. It's very very bizarre, very bizarre. I don't 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:46.240 I don't quite understand why she did that. But but 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:49.080 she did and we survived. There was I guess it 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.360 was perfect for that podcast. It wouldn't really work if 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:54.080 we had a guest on hanging out with us and 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:58.360 then there's a dog barking in the background. So now 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.440 I have gotten a lot of pot cast complaints. Do 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:03.680 you want do you want to hear the podcast complaint? 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:06.560 The part, Sure, let's hear some complaints, all right. The 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:11.000 complaint I've got a lot is in the description for 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:15.640 the podcast. When McBain was in here, uh, he would 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.839 put like the name of the guests and who was 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.680 on that week on the podcast. People are saying that 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:25.200 you don't do that and so never do that. But 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.680 they one of the people that wrote in was like, 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:31.240 well that's that's a mistake because people search. He says, 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:33.680 I searched through podcast based on the guest and if 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:37.560 I see a good name, I will then download the podcast. No, no, 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:41.120 that was his His argument is that that you know, 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.000 if you have a big name, you want to promote 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.320 it and not you know, not make people have to 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:49.880 search for His argument. My counter argument is that you're 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:53.880 searching for the hosts and so whatever content they bring 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:57.200 to the podcast and to the show is is is 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.880 good filler, you know, whether it's their own content, it's 0:04:59.880 --> 0:05:02.680 a guest, it's a feature, it's an element, whatever it 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:06.600 may be. That is all like the sides, like this 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.880 is the filet, We're the beef, and then everything else 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:14.320 is the sweet potatoes, the onions, the asparagus, all those 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.719 sides they make the work. Now I am going to 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.880 I'm actually disagree with that. I'll tell you why. All Right, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:26.880 the most successful podcast I think we can agree on 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:31.600 this is the Joe Rogan Experience. Yeah. Yeah, when you 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:35.120 go to the Joe Rogan Experience, the name of the 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:39.680 guest is on every one of those podcasts. So and 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:43.760 there's some people that like random martial arts people that 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.359 no one knows who they are, Um, you know, a 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:50.279 red belt in jiu jitsu or somewhere like that. We'll 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:54.119 be on there. So if Roguing does it and he's 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:57.440 the star of the show, we should do it. I 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.440 think we should. We should model it after that. We 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.600 think we should the name in the in the headline, 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.880 I do, I do. I just I think for for 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:08.839 stragglers because the way I look at I think the 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:14.719 people that are fans of of like the overnight show 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:17.520 and what we what we do. They're gonna listen anything anyway, 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:20.880 So you're trying to get people that wouldn't normally listen. 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.719 There's there's always those people. And I agree with this 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.360 guy the email because you you look to me, I'm 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:27.920 the same way, like I like certain people, you know, 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.960 entertainers or whatever. And if I'll search, I'll be driving. 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:32.320 I got a long drive. I'll be like, all right, 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:34.320 if I can find a podcast with this person, so 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.200 I'll type their name in and if it doesn't pop up, 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.760 like I'm not you know, I'm not gonna gonna go 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:43.880 out on my way to to listen. You know, you 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:48.080 know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, that's that's my belief. 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:50.119 But that was one of the one of the complain 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:52.040 I guess I guess McBain just put the I didn't 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:53.680 even look, but I guess you put the names of 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:58.120 the people in there. But anyway, so on really a complaint, 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:01.599 that's just more of a critique. All right, you know, 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.440 consider it complaint. You know, it's all yeah, you you 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:09.000 did not I have a complaint. Yeah, I um, I 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:11.920 did not get a phone call from you on Thursday, um, 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:15.720 Thursday I was celebrating a special anniversary. No phone call 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:19.600 from you and no congratulations. Yeah, a little disappointed. But 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:21.920 you know, you missed my birthday in July, and now 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:25.600 you you missed my anniversary in August. It's uh, well 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.880 that's not that's not actually true. I did wish you 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:31.640 a happy birthday. You were not available on your birthday, 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:34.320 but I did wish you a happy birthday. I remember that. 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:36.520 I said you a very nice In fact, I even 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:38.640 sent you a text before anybody else. It was like 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:43.320 after midnight and I sent you a happy birthday. I did, 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:48.800 what were you doing up? I couldn't sleep and saw me. Yeah, 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:54.080 I couldn't sleep. I I celebrated a one year anniversary. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:58.000 I So during the pandemic, I I was doing a 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:01.160 lot of reading and I read this book called Never 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:06.400 Split the Difference, which is written by a FBI hostage 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.600 negotiator named Chris Foss. And so it's a great book. 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.280 It talks about a lot of anecdotal stuff. When he 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.560 was a beat cop, how he got into the FBI, 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.640 and how he became the lead hostage negotiator. Well, the 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.920 way that he did that was he actually joined he 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:25.480 was advised to join a local distress and crisis center 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.760 to become a suicide crisis counselor. I thought that ship 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.360 was fascinating, and then obviously he's like the top dog 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.320 for the FBI and dealing with these terrorists from around 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:38.960 the world and hostages and negotiations and a stuff. So 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.320 I actually read the entire book, was thrilled to read it, 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:47.079 and then a month later I started volunteering in Los 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:50.520 Angeles for the National Suicide Prevention Center crisis line. And 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:54.120 then your wife last year also bought me a book 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:58.120 for my birthday called Talking to Strangers, which was fucking 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:02.120 awesome and it was a perfect compliment. So on Thursday, 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:07.719 I celebrated my one year anniversary August the twelve of 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:11.320 of working there. So it was a question, how the 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:14.800 funk am I supposed to know when you started working there? Seriously, 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:16.760 you could ask, like, how would I? I don't know. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.280 You don't send me a list of key dates. It 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.319 sound like the you know, the the NFL. The NFL 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:27.400 sends me email key dates, the draft, the owners meetings. 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.839 I don't have. I don't have a list of key 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.760 dates in David Gascon's life. I don't have that should 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.120 I do that, Should just make up fake like pr 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:39.199 events in the in the year for Ben Mallory. Should 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:41.840 I do that? Should just yeah, yeah, yeah, well you 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:45.359 you know, that would not be the worst possible scenario. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.520 That would not be the worst possible scenario. Key dates 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:53.720 of the mallon That Does that mean I'd have to 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:57.760 include attempted request to attend an l A Ram's game, 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.480 attempted request to go to Seahawks, like you have to 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:05.439 put those in there, like yeah, well, and remember that 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:09.080 I was injured because the Rams did not allow me 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:14.680 to go to the game against Jamis Winston. I turnovers. Yeah. 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:16.920 I stayed home and I made pizza and I was 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.400 so excited to eat the pizza watching football, I burned 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.080 my mouth and and then I did an entire week 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:25.559 of Network radio on four plus radio stations, sounding like 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.920 lou holes. I had a lisp the entire week. How embarrassing. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.640 Oh my god, my tongue was throbbing. It was horrible. 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.360 It was absolutely that guy. I got Chris Voss though. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.480 I My wife had me. She's a big fan of his, 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:42.560 and she had me. Yeah, she had me. Watched the 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:47.200 master class and very very interesting how to communicate and 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.160 the the simple premise that humans want to be accepted 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.440 and understood, and that's really was all about. And and 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.440 just being an active listener is the simplest way you 0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.480 can you can be part of that. So and the 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:03.560 late night F M d J boys, he's got yeah, 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.199 he's got smooth calming pipes. So I could see how 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:10.640 people dropped their guard with him. It's uh, yeah, it's interesting, 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:14.000 like teaching me about mirroring, teaching you about making your 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:18.440 first impression last, like literally last in the conversation. Those 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.360 are those are some interesting things. I mean I did 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.079 sales when I was in my twenties and going to 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:26.240 college and playing ball, and so I I used that 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:28.400 and then obviously what we do here on the phones. 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.960 And yeah, it's pretty interesting. Man. You go through a 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.280 lot of people that are just in different points in 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:38.560 the life, but all have that that crisis, and some 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:41.120 are are magnified during the you know, the last couple 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.600 of years, and others are just you know, relationship things. 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.000 But yeah, you gotta take everything seriously because you just 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.600 never know what's gonna uh, what's gonna happen after get 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.400 off the phone with him? Yeah, no, no, no, for sure. 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.360 For sure. Um, so there you go, Chris. I've not 0:11:56.360 --> 0:12:00.320 read his book, but I did see the The Master Class. 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:03.800 Have you taken any other ones besides that one, I've 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.880 I've looked at a few of them. I haven't my 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:07.800 I don't think we have this. I don't know if 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:10.520 we have the subscription anymore. It's actually really good stuff. 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.800 They did a give them crap. I mean, it's not 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.520 that expensive and if you have the time, you can 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:19.920 learn some really cool things pretty quick, pretty quick. Yeah. 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:21.800 I mean, Gordon Ramsey does a lot of his cooking 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:25.319 stuff on there, doesn't he. Uh Yeah, There's a bunch 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:28.000 of different chefs on there. There's magicians teaching you how 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.000 to do I think Penn and Teller did some stuff 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:35.240 trying to do magic and just random random things. It's 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:39.480 pretty it's pretty cool. So anyway, on this podcast, we 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:43.880 have done in by a piece of paper gas tastic, 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:46.000 and then we have time we'll have some pop quiz 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.880 so we'll see how this this goes. But we started 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:50.760 with done in by a piece of paper. So last 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:54.360 weekend I was running some errands and I made my 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.840 weekly pilgrimage to the Holy Land Costco to buy a 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:01.679 few things and I purchased I remember I personal water. 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.080 I had to buy some half and half and some 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:10.120 other random assorted crap. Uh. And and then I went, 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.040 like most people do you buy the stuff? You went 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.720 to the went to the checkout stand. Now that's all 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.560 pretty standard operating procedures. So so I went to the 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:21.400 self checkoutline, which is relatively new with the Costco. I'm 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.920 at this is like the last like six months they've 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.920 added this thing, which I fully support the self checkoutline. 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.839 The only problem is Costco has got a lot of big, 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:30.760 bulky items, so you have to wait for somebody to 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:34.120 come over. The one time I tried to put the 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:38.960 big case of water on the the checkout thing and 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:42.760 it didn't work because I dropped the water. It fell everywhere. 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.400 It was a big, big ship show. Uh. But anyway, 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.800 so I did the self checkout thing that was wide open, 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.240 paid for my stuff, and then I made a bee 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:56.079 line to the Costco food court. And I'm a traditionalist 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.120 when it comes to the food coat. So so I 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.440 purchased the what I all, the timeless Costco meal, which 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:06.120 is a slice of pizza hot dog, uh, slice of 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:10.040 pizza hot dog and then I decided I was gonna 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.320 crank things up a couple of notches, and I waited 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:17.080 until I finished my hot dog slice of pizza, and 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.880 then I went back to the counter and I got 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:25.160 the Very Sunday, which I love. Delicious, right delicious. The 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.320 whole meal is like seven bucks, I think. Now they 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:29.000 raised the price, and some of that stuff, the hot 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:30.880 dogs at the same price. Everything else they raised the price, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.600 so I was like seven eight bucks whatever fund So 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:38.840 I'm I'm wrapping up a very nice meal on a 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:43.640 Saturday afternoon. I then head for the exit. So remember 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:46.040 I have the water, the half and half, some other 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:49.800 random stuff. And as I'm waiting online, when you when 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.000 you leave Costco, you have to have your receipt, like 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.600 they mark your receipt when you leave out the front 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.560 of Costco. So as I get closer and closer, I 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:00.800 put my right hand in to my what you know, 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:05.360 my my pocket to get out the receipt. And so 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:09.040 I pull out the receipt and it was the receipt 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.880 for the Very Sunday that I just purchased, which I 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.400 don't really I don't need to use that. So then 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.520 I reached back in my pocket thinking well, I gotta 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.440 get the other receipt. And this is where something went 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.200 terribly wrong. This is where something went terribly wrong. So 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:26.720 I had somehow in my haste, I had thrown away 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:31.280 the receipt that I needed to exit Costco. I just 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:34.760 accidentally thrown it away. And uh, I didn't even realized 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:36.240 I was doing it when I was thrown away some 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.000 of the other trash. And so when I reached in 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:42.720 the shorts to grab the receipt, there was nowhere. It 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.040 was nowhere to be seen. So I had accidentally tossed 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.680 it in the trash game. So I went back. My 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.000 first move was like, oh crap, I gotta get out 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.440 of here. So I went back, and I, I do admit, 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.120 I opened up the trash where I had thrown stuff away, 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.160 and I thought, well, just reach in there and you know, 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.600 get get it out and all that stuff. And so 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:11.160 I did that, and then well, unfortunately there was so 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:14.000 much new food on top I could not find the 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.960 piece of paper. When I felt I felt really pathetic 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:22.000 dumpster diving at Costco or trash diving at Costco. So 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.600 then I made the walk of shame. I was left 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.360 no option. Made the walk of shame back to the 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:32.240 self service teller area, and a nice woman that works 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:35.960 at Costco felt pity on me, and apparently this is 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:40.400 not this is not un normal, like this happens quite 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:44.160 a bit, and I'm not in the minority on this, 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.080 and so they knew exactly what to do. She directed 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:51.240 me to the back room at Costco, the famous back 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.320 room where all the bookkeeping is done. And I went 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:57.520 back there and I handed them my Costco card and bamp. 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.800 Within five minutes, I had a copy of my receipt 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:08.720 and I was able to exit stage right. It's pretty 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:10.840 remarkable all in all. How much time do you think 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:15.760 you spent in there doing all that? Well, it was 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:19.439 the actual once I went and asked for help, It 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.560 didn't take that long, but I spent a lot of 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.440 time retracing my steps, thinking maybe it had fallen out 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.119 of my pocket where I was sitting. Then I was like, well, 0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:29.040 I must have thrown it away when I threw away 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.680 the hot dog rapper and the mustard container and all that, 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.960 and so I like, I was retracing my steps, but 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:40.479 I don't know. It was maybe like fifteen minutes or something. 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.600 It wasn't that long, but it was just embarrassing, you know, like, 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.960 you know, I'm a grown ass man and I've done 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.600 this song and dance a million times and I have 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:52.200 to go back and asked for another receipt. I felt 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.119 like such a such a mama, Luke, what what am 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:57.399 I doing here? But a lot of things happened to 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:01.440 you at Costco. It's just adds to it. Yeah, Well, 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.240 I spent a lot of time there. I spent a 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.320 lot of time at Costco, and I had another cost 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:11.480 I have three Costco related stories that my grandfather would say, 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.680 I'm such a hawser that I deserved this, which is 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:19.080 a Yiddish for for pig. So that I had some 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:21.240 time because I I had to come down to the 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:23.760 house I'm moving to and I had to wait. My 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:26.440 wife wanted me to wait for a delivery. She was 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:28.919 very concerned the delivery would not be made unless I 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:32.040 was there. But this wasn't like eight thirty in the 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:36.920 morning on a Saturday, and I usually go to bed 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:39.359 at like seven or seven thirty, So this was like 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.440 completely flipping my schedule around. But she wanted me to 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.280 do it. She was working, so I did it. So 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:48.480 I went down there and I get there right at 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:52.520 the window for delivery was between eight thirty and like 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:55.640 I think it was like eight thirty and like one 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:57.920 or something like that. But as soon as I get there, 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:01.399 the trucks pulling up to make the delivery. But I 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:05.480 had scheduled a lunch for like one o'clock in the 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:08.600 afternoon with a buddy of mine, So I then had 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:12.280 a bunch of time to kill because I didn't expect 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:13.600 them to show up that early. I thought I was 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.840 just gonna be there waiting, and then once they show up, 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:17.480 then i'd have a little bit of time because i'd 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:20.399 be I was on watch, and so I don't a lot. 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:23.560 So I made there's like three costcos around that house 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.920 where I'm moving to. I don't know if I should 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.359 admit this, but I decided, you know what, let me 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:35.239 do a costco sample. Run all three. All three, I'll 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.720 run the gauntlet, I'll run the marathon. So I did. 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:42.919 But here's the problem. I was in my fasting windows, 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.800 so I couldn't eat the samples. I had to wait. 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.639 Because I I fast for at least I tried to 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:52.000 at least seventeen eighteen a day. I usually do closer 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.520 to twenty four a couple of days, a couple of 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:57.359 times during the week, I'll do like forty plus hours whatever. 0:19:58.119 --> 0:19:59.679 So I had to wait. So but the cool thing 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.119 now is at COVID. They handed out the samples and 0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:04.520 they were all in like these little paper bag type 0:20:04.560 --> 0:20:06.679 things and all that. So so I was like, fine, 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:10.120 and I took the samples from the first Costco, put 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:11.800 them in the car, put him in the back seat 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:13.399 so I wouldn't be tempted to eat him. Once of 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.200 the second Costco, same thing, had a few better samples 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.560 at that place, same same deal, put in the back. 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:22.439 Now at this Costco they had some that were not 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:26.560 in bags. They were in those like little paper you know, uh, 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:30.840 the paper things like but yeah, like the chocolate almond 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.439 things they'll put it. So I had some of those. 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:35.840 All right, fine, I'm doing pretty good. I have. I 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:38.240 have killed it on the on the Costco samples. So 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.120 then I go to the third Costco and and I'm 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:44.720 at this one and more of the same, more of 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:46.600 the same, and so I'm like, oh man, and the 0:20:46.640 --> 0:20:50.719 whole the whole back seat behind the driver filled with 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:54.080 Costco samples. But it's again, it's too early in the 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:57.280 morning by this time, It's probably like ten thirty in 0:20:57.320 --> 0:21:01.360 the morning. Whatever, So whatever, I put them all back 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:04.000 there and I'm not gonna be tempted eat. So then 0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:05.720 I go and I had to run a few more errands. 0:21:05.760 --> 0:21:09.600 I just did some random shopping, and then it was 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:12.639 time for me. I had reached the point where I 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:15.320 was going to end my fast, and so I went 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:19.000 to eat the samples, and much to my horror, it 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:22.720 had gotten very hot between the time that I had 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:25.800 put the samples back there in the morning until the afternoon, 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:29.560 and there was a big portion of the back seat 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:33.960 of the Malamobile that had turned a milky brown color 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:39.240 from the milk chocolate that had melted and been infused 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:45.160 to the back seat of the car. So yeah, it 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:49.600 was that was my my Costco sample run gone bad? 0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:52.919 Did you happen to take a picture? Be sure to 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.520 catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show week days 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:58.440 at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure 0:21:58.480 --> 0:22:01.160 to catch live editions of The Mallard Show week days 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:04.359 at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox 0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.840 Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. I did not 0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:13.639 it did look very similar to the bathroom when I 0:22:13.680 --> 0:22:17.000 had my famous gold bladder when I was whil walking 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:19.800 and I couldn't make the bathroom, and why actually that's 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:22.960 not actually true. I did make into the bathroom. I 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:27.160