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Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Miner Sale.

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Speaker 2: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying, and

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Speaker 2: we've pound some diamonds of the rough.

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Speaker 1: How don't we? John? That's right.

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Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through

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Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping

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Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on the show.

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Speaker 3: My wife demands I cut ties with my best friend.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't wanna. No, no.

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Speaker 3: There is a trigger warning for this story. There's mention

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Speaker 3: of self harm and miscarriage.

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Speaker 1: You can't hear either of those. Please don't listen to

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Speaker 1: the story.

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Speaker 3: Calli and I have been friends for essentially our whole lives.

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Speaker 3: We played together as children, and we even had sleepovers

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Speaker 3: as kids. She basically lived in my treehouse when her

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Speaker 3: parents were going through a divorce, and when my cat

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Speaker 3: passed away, she held me for hours while I cried.

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Speaker 3: We were next door neighbors, and we were roommates in college.

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Speaker 3: She's been part of every major life event of mine

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Speaker 3: in life.

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Speaker 1: Part of hers is literally the girl next door.

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Speaker 4: Don't get rid of her.

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Speaker 1: By the way this comes from user.

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Speaker 3: I love them both, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 3: subread it. So when I first met my wife, Calli

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Speaker 3: was the one who I'd spend hours gushing about. Lori too,

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Speaker 3: and she quickly and easily embraced Laurie. They've gotten along

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Speaker 3: fantastically as far as I knew. When Calli met her husband,

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Speaker 3: it was all very much the same. We welcomed him

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Speaker 3: into our friend group and had a bunch of fun

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Speaker 3: as a couple of couples. We went on vacations together,

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Speaker 3: did little day trips in her area, went on hikes,

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Speaker 3: and did other activities together. We had dinner with each

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Speaker 3: other regularly. It was almost idyllic. Calli's husband, Chad, decided

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Speaker 3: earlier this year.

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Speaker 1: To end his life. No, that's awful.

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Speaker 3: His passing shook us all, but obviously it shook Calli

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Speaker 3: the most. It took my buddy, optimistic, generally upbeat best

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Speaker 3: friend and destroyed her when she found out she was

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Speaker 3: pregnant and then miscarried soon after. It destroyed her again.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: As her best friend and essentially brother, she leaned on

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Speaker 3: me a lot. She leaned on my wife too, and

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Speaker 3: Laurie was happy to be there for her, but Callie

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Speaker 3: leaned on me a bit harder. She's doing a lot

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Speaker 3: better now, but she's not the same and I don't

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Speaker 3: think she'll ever be quite the same again, and that's understandable.

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Speaker 3: I still love her immensely and I'll always be here

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Speaker 3: for her, which I've communicated to her. We still have

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Speaker 3: lunch together almost every day and we text frequently. I've

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Speaker 3: never hidden any of our interactions from my wife, and

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Speaker 3: have actually gone to her several times to discuss them,

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Speaker 3: because she gives amazing advice and I want her input. However,

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Speaker 3: Laurie hit me with an ultimatum today, either Callie goes

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Speaker 3: or she goes WHOA.

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Speaker 1: She says that she can't.

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Speaker 3: Handle knowing that I love another woman the way I

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Speaker 3: love Callie. I tried to explain that I love Calli

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Speaker 3: the same way I love my brother. There's no romance

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Speaker 3: involved with my love for her, and there's no attraction

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Speaker 3: at all on any level. I don't see her that way,

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Speaker 3: and I don't have the capacity to. Because we grew

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Speaker 3: up in such close proximity. We were over at each

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Speaker 3: other's houses as kids all the time, and her mom

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Speaker 3: even grounded me on more than one occasion. That's how

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Speaker 3: close our families were when they have like parental grounding rights. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's essentially second mom, second dad, second family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Ugh.

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Speaker 3: She said that she doesn't care that this choice is

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Speaker 3: hurting me, and it's a choice that I need to make.

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Speaker 3: She says that I need to decide if a life

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Speaker 3: with Callie as my friend is more important than a

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Speaker 3: life with her. And to me, this feels exactly like

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Speaker 3: someone's saying, pick me or your sister.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what she's doing.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it literally is exactly what she's doing.

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Speaker 1: There's no question at all. Let's keep reading before we

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Speaker 1: get our takes on that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sitting here at a crossroads. She has

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Speaker 3: given me two days to grapple with this and make

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Speaker 3: my choice, and I honestly don't know how to handle this.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to lose either of them because I

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Speaker 3: love them both in such different ways. Callie is essentially

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Speaker 3: my sister, and my wife is well, my wife, Laurie

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Speaker 3: is the love of my life and I'd be destroyed

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Speaker 3: if I lost her. On the other hand, Callie is

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Speaker 3: a lifelong friend, and losing her would wreck me too.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm in an unfair situation if you

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Speaker 3: never spent time with Calli that my wife wasn't aware of,

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Speaker 3: and she's encouraged me to go spend time with her

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Speaker 3: when I was more apt to just stay home with Laurie.

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Speaker 3: She's told me over and over again that she's proud

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Speaker 3: of me for being so good to Calli and that

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Speaker 3: seeing this proves to her that I'm a good man

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Speaker 3: because I don't just treat my wife well, I treat

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Speaker 3: everyone in my life well. Laurie is currently upset that

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Speaker 3: I'm even needing to think about this and has gone

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Speaker 3: to the guest room. I've been instructed to leave her

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Speaker 3: alone until I decide. This feels like it's coming out

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Speaker 3: of nowhere. It feels manipulative and hurtful, and I'm frozen

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Speaker 3: due to the shock and the pain of the situation.

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Speaker 3: How do I even begin to digest this situation? What

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Speaker 3: would you do? Is my wife being unreasonable? Or am I?

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Speaker 1: Are we both?

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Speaker 3: Is there a middle ground that an outsider can see

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Speaker 3: that I can't? Is there more to this? Is there

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Speaker 3: something wrong with me that I didn't immediately choose my wife.

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Speaker 3: And I actually have to deeply think this through and

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Speaker 3: there are some comments and oh boy, I can't wait

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Speaker 3: to read them.

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Speaker 1: What's your suspicions? I have suspicions. I just don't know.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I feel like I could see it happening

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Speaker 5: with that comment about being like, oh, like, you're so

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Speaker 5: good to her, I'm so glad.

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Speaker 1: I could see it being like, Okay.

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Speaker 5: Maybe at first it was always weird, but she was

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Speaker 5: kind of trying not to be that jealous type and

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Speaker 5: trying to be like, you know what, No, it's actually

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Speaker 5: good that he's like, you know, being good to these people.

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Speaker 5: And she's like telling herself that, and maybe that's just

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Speaker 5: not lasting that much, and maybe now she's back to

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Speaker 5: being like, oh, actually I am uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but what are your suspicions? My suspicion

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Speaker 1: is cheating? Is that Callie is cheating? Is that or

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Speaker 1: his wife? The wife? The wife is.

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Speaker 3: Cheating Because in situations a lot of times when we

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Speaker 3: read where someone goes like it's like this is so

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Speaker 3: out of nowhere and it came out of left field.

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Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, someone who's cheating and is now like

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Speaker 3: they're feeling.

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Speaker 1: So guilty about it. They're like, now they're trying to find.

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Speaker 3: A way to blow up the relationship without having to

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Speaker 3: come forward and admit that they cheated. WHOA, But let's

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Speaker 3: see what the comments have to say.

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Speaker 1: Oh, boil, boil boy. We're not even halfway through the story. Comments.

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Speaker 1: I love Calli the same way I love my brother.

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Speaker 3: Ope, I think you and your wife should consider couples

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Speaker 3: counseling to get the air cleared about some things. I

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Speaker 3: believe what you say about your feelings for Calli, and

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Speaker 3: I also believe what you say about how supportive your.

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Speaker 1: Wife has been for you being there for your friend.

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Speaker 3: But what may have happened is she looked up one

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Speaker 3: day and realized Calli was getting a lot more support

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Speaker 3: and attention from you than she was, and she panicked.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I panicked.

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Speaker 3: Oh P Can you honestly say that if your brother's

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Speaker 3: wife unlived herself, that you spend months giving him the

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Speaker 3: same level or method of attention and support and time

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Speaker 3: that you're giving Calli, Or would you be encouraging your

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Speaker 3: brother in a different manner than you are CALLI. Think

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Speaker 3: carefully about this.

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Speaker 6: Interesting.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand what that everything has to do with anything,

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Speaker 3: because that's a completely different dynamic. It's like, of course,

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Speaker 3: you wouldn't care for your brother the same way you'd

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Speaker 3: care for your childhood best friend, Right, You're just gonna

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Speaker 3: be different or like a.

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Speaker 1: Sister, even like even that dynamic can be different. They're

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Speaker 1: just different situations.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, OPI replies to this CALLI is in therapy, which

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Speaker 3: I helped her find, and honestly, yes, I would support

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Speaker 3: my brother in that same way. I would listen as

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Speaker 3: he talked about what he's feeling. I'd tell him he's

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Speaker 3: not alone. I'd drive him to his therapy sessions when

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Speaker 3: he needed me to, or I'd call him a cab

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Speaker 3: if I wasn't able to. I'd make a point of

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Speaker 3: going over with dinner early on, because when you're grieving

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Speaker 3: like that, extra food being around can help. And in

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Speaker 3: the coming months, I'd send him gifts that I knew

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Speaker 3: would brighten his mood. I would keep up our existing

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Speaker 3: routine and give him a little extra support when needed,

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Speaker 3: even if all that is is just being there. It's

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Speaker 3: not that hard to show a friend some compassion when

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Speaker 3: they need it. She's not really getting more time or

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Speaker 3: attention than she did previously, with small exceptions that my

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Speaker 3: wife was actively involved in, either by supporting my choice

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Speaker 3: to be there for her or by telling me to

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Speaker 3: go check on or spend time with her. So when

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Speaker 3: we text, most of the time, it's me sending silly

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Speaker 3: cat gifts and her venting about work or telling me

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Speaker 3: how therapy's going. I should have mentioned in my post

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Speaker 3: that our lunches aren't new and not a result of

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Speaker 3: Chad's passing. They've been long standing for years. We eat

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Speaker 3: our lunches on our lunch breaks together. I don't see

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Speaker 3: how this is scandalous or something to be panicked by. Reply, Op,

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Speaker 3: I totally see where you're coming from with all this. However,

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Speaker 3: I also think it's really telling and pretty bad that

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Speaker 3: you refuse to even listen to anyone trying to explain

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Speaker 3: your wife's point of view. All of your responses here

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Speaker 3: are extremely defensive of how you act with CALLI, and

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Speaker 3: you don't seem even slightly willing to consider that you

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Speaker 3: should reflect on your behavior or consider how your wife

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Speaker 3: might be feeling. I don't think his wife ever told

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Speaker 3: her how she was feeling until she literally just laid

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Speaker 3: an ultimatum on him, though yeah.

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Speaker 5: At least from how we are seeing it in this

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Speaker 5: Reddit post. That really is how it feels. She did

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Speaker 5: a one eighty out of nowhere, Like it's not like

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Speaker 5: you can understand the wife's perspective, but she's not at

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Speaker 5: all going about this in a healthy way when you're

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Speaker 5: married to somebody, right right, Like, it would probably still

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Speaker 5: be good to consider like how she could be feeling

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Speaker 5: from it, But it makes sense that he would be

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Speaker 5: going to the defensive end. This is literally like Rice,

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Speaker 5: if this is the problem, then yeah, I would or

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Speaker 5: if she is saying that this is the problem, that

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Speaker 5: I would understand being defensive and be like, no, this actually.

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Speaker 1: Isn't a problem.

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Speaker 3: This is fine if you just take away the ultimatum.

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Speaker 3: This is a very fixable issue.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But it's like you can't just be like, well, you

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Speaker 3: have two days to pick between the two most important

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Speaker 3: people in your.

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Speaker 1: Life, right, It's like whoa, whoa, whoa, Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: all on you. This is your fault, right.

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Speaker 3: I think you need to look at how much you're

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Speaker 3: supporting your wife compared to CALLI. Would you cancel on

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Speaker 3: your wife to see CALLI if she asked, would you

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Speaker 3: cancel on CALLI to see your wife. If they both

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Speaker 3: needed you, who would you go to first? Roughly, how

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Speaker 3: much of your time do you spend with CALLI compared

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Speaker 3: to your wife? Things like that, Ope replies, No, I

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Speaker 3: wouldn't cancel on my wife if CALLI asked, that situation

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Speaker 3: has come up, so I can say with confidence how

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Speaker 3: I would and did respond. It was fairly early on

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Speaker 3: when she was first in therapy. She asked if I

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Speaker 3: could take her to and from but it fell on

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Speaker 3: a day when my wife and I were going on

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Speaker 3: a day trip. Instead, I arranged an alternative ride for

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Speaker 3: her and spent the day with my wife. I would

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Speaker 3: cancel things with Cali to spend time with my wife,

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Speaker 3: and if they both needed me, obviously I would go

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Speaker 3: to my wife first. With as much support as I've

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Speaker 3: been giving CALLI, I've tried very hard to make sure

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Speaker 3: that it hasn't in acted things at home. I've tried

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Speaker 3: to make sure that my wife didn't feel neglected, and

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Speaker 3: I'm honestly puzzled as to why she would feel that

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Speaker 3: way when I've gone out of my way to not

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Speaker 3: make her feel that way and have included her in

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Speaker 3: everything involving all of this regularly asking if she was

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Speaker 3: okay with everything, and hearing nothing but a resounding yes.

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Speaker 3: Am I not supposed to take my wife at her word.

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Speaker 3: Her feeling neglected or threatened or anything else is honestly

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Speaker 3: news to me. You have been asking your wife for

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Speaker 3: all of this time if she was okay with this arrangement.

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Speaker 3: Just now she has said no. You need to accept

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Speaker 3: her answer instead of insisting she is being irrational. You're

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Speaker 3: puzzled by how she feels. Ask her, Ask her why,

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Speaker 3: Ask her what changed? If nothing else, See if you

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Speaker 3: can compromise hanging out with Calli once a week instead

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Speaker 3: of every day. No texting during dinner or after nine pm.

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Speaker 3: Ultimatums are very serious things. Something is different. If Lourie

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Speaker 3: is insisting you completely cut your friend off, do not

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Speaker 3: make the mistake of assuming your wife is just being irrational.

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Speaker 3: Do not take her accepting your devoting so much time,

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Speaker 3: definitely to another woman, for granted at it to add

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Speaker 3: I'm getting a lot of replies regarding Laurie not wanting

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Speaker 3: to talk about it. Just an answer. This is a marriage,

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Speaker 3: not a return phone call from across the country. Go

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Speaker 3: tell her you choose her, because you already had you

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Speaker 3: married her, then, over dinner or tomorrow or the next day,

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Speaker 3: ask her what the heck You can change your mind

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Speaker 3: if she truly has no rational reason and doesn't want

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Speaker 3: to see a mediator.

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Speaker 1: This is not final jeopardy. Your answer is not locked in.

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Speaker 3: Your job is to figure out what the heck is

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Speaker 3: going on, and there is an update.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Wow.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't necessarily say it's his job to figure out

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Speaker 3: what's going on. I think maybe it's all of our

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Speaker 3: collective jobs to explain to people what we are feeling

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Speaker 3: when it's relevant to them, which is.

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Speaker 1: Not always easy.

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Speaker 3: Laurie has every right in the world to feel however

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Speaker 3: she feels about her husband's relationship and dynamic with CALLI. Yep,

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Speaker 3: she's eavy right to feel that way. Sure, but like

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Speaker 3: you should go about it in a way that is

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Speaker 3: better her than just saying ultimatum, ne or her two

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Speaker 3: days you have forty eight hours to respond.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 5: I can't understand if we if we take it from

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Speaker 5: her perspective for a second, if we played Devil's advocate

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Speaker 5: for a minute and think like, okay, if nothing crazy

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Speaker 5: is going on on Lorie's side, if she really is

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Speaker 5: just having these fears and uncomforts or whatever. Then if

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Speaker 5: if she brought this up and then he immediately was

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Speaker 5: like was like.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, like look, this is fine, this is fine.

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Speaker 5: I could kind of see it being like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 5: why are you so defensive about it? But at the

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Speaker 5: same time as I'm saying that, I feel like, I

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Speaker 5: still it's still such an exaggerated thing, Like I feel

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Speaker 5: like his reaction is so extreme because she brought it

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Speaker 5: up in such an extreme way with the ultimatum, you know,

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Speaker 5: So it's like, it doesn't it makes sense why he's

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Speaker 5: not necessarily calm about this because she literally was just like.

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Speaker 1: Me or her done, that's all you're getting.

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Speaker 5: Yep, you know so I don't even I couldn't even

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Speaker 5: play Devil's Out gidding, which.

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Speaker 3: It's not a conversation, that's a demand. You're making a demand. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's not a back and forth. Absolutely choose, choose your character. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but we do have an update. All right, let's hopefully

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Speaker 3: see we got some more info in here, hopefully. In

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Speaker 3: my anger and pain and needing to reach out to someone,

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Speaker 3: I left out a lot of details that explained my

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Speaker 3: position and feelings towards my wife's actions. I felt that

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Speaker 3: she was being patently unreasonable because of all the things

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Speaker 3: that I had given and done for our relationship, none

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Speaker 3: of which I informed you of because they weren't in

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Speaker 3: the forefront of my mind at the time. I'd like

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Speaker 3: to give a more whole picture before moving forward with

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Speaker 3: my update. My wife and I have been together for

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Speaker 3: eight years and married for five. We got together very young,

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Speaker 3: and she was this second person I had ever dated.

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Speaker 1: I was her third.

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Speaker 3: Over the course of our relationship, I've sacrificed a lot

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Speaker 3: of little things, as anyone does and should in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: It's all about compromise and meeting the other person halfway.

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Speaker 3: I get that, and I understand that. However, that has

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Speaker 3: not been the case for my relationship with lu. She

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Speaker 3: always gets her way. I'm not using hyperbole, she does.

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Speaker 3: She always gets her way. When I was given the

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Speaker 3: opportunity to move abroad to my dream city for an

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Speaker 3: amazing job that would have afforded us both better lifestyles,

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Speaker 3: she put her foot down and said that I could go,

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Speaker 3: but she would be staying here and we'd be over.

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Speaker 3: She wanted to stay close to her own family, and

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Speaker 3: social network. I said, fair enough, and we stayed.

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Speaker 1: See another thing.

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Speaker 5: That could be a conversation. It doesn't have to be

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Speaker 5: an ultimatum. She really loves her ultimatums.

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Speaker 1: Buddy.

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Speaker 3: Here's where I'm getting the biggest red flag. She was

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Speaker 3: the second person you ever dated when you married her.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even notice that that.

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Speaker 3: Would be the equivalent of me marrying like my fifth

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Speaker 3: grade girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: You want to thank some more like so growing up

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Speaker 1: before you do that? What are we talking about?

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00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 3: Made a little more experience on the bell Before you

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Speaker 3: commit to being with someone for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 3: You don't even know who want or who you like,

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Speaker 3: or who's even out there. Buddy, this sounds patently toxic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Before we married, she asked me to stop seeing most

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Speaker 3: of my male friends because she thought they were bad influences.

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Speaker 1: So we're just gonna go through a parade of red flags. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's go. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: At the time, she didn't give any reasons, and I

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Speaker 3: didn't question it because I trusted her judgment and ultimately

355
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Speaker 3: wanted to put her comfort first. When we bought our bed,

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Speaker 3: she got the one she wanted because I put her

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Speaker 3: comfort level first, even though I have a more demanding

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Speaker 3: occupation and arguably need better rest. It's too soft for

359
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Speaker 3: my comfort. I tend to need a firm bed otherwise

360
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Speaker 3: I'm a bit achy. She doesn't like Chinese takeouts, so we.

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Speaker 6: Don't get it.

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Speaker 3: She hates cheese on pizza, so we never have any

363
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Speaker 3: cheese on pizza. She bans Game of Thrones in South

364
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:48,120
Speaker 3: Park from the house purely because she doesn't like either. Oh,

365
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Speaker 3: it's just this is the same energy of someone being like, well,

366
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Speaker 3: I'm vegan, so knowing at Thanksgivings allowed to eat anything

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Speaker 3: that's not vegan. Yeah, at Thanksgiving, you're the most insufferable person.

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Speaker 1: So those are banned.

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Speaker 3: And my complaints about the Kardashians fall on deaf ears.

370
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 3: She wanted the blue China, I wanted the red. Guess

371
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,040
Speaker 3: which one we bought. The list goes on and on. Oh, man,

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Speaker 3: I had pneumonia last year and it got to the

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Speaker 3: point where I had to be hospitalized.

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Speaker 1: Laurie refused to visit me or even bring me a.

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Speaker 3: Blanket from home because it infringed on plans she had

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Speaker 3: with her friends and family.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: I would understand work obligations, but it was purely social

379
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Speaker 3: people made the assumption that Laurie only spends time with

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Speaker 3: her friends because I spend time with Cali, and that's

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Speaker 3: rather laughable. But any evidence to the contrary becomes he said,

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Speaker 3: She said, finger pointing.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe that this is the case.

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Speaker 3: Laurie has always had a very active social life and

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Speaker 3: made it clear to me when we were engaged that

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Speaker 3: it wasn't going to change when we got married, and

387
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Speaker 3: I agreed to that. We had many long talks about

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Speaker 3: how children aren't something either of us want, and she

389
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 3: got a tubal ligation and I got of a sectomy.

390
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 3: During this talk about social life and priorities as a

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00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 3: married couple, we agreed that instead of our lives being

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00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 3: devoted to children, we would spend them doing things that

393
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 3: we enjoy, both together and independently. We both agreed that realistically,

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00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,159
Speaker 3: friendships would become less important over the years as children

395
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Speaker 3: came into.

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Speaker 1: Play for our friends.

397
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Speaker 3: Now, people were very critical of the amount of time

398
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Speaker 3: I spend with Lourie. She has never once told me

399
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 3: she felt that she needed more one on one time

400
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 3: with me. In some cases, it's been the opposite. She's

401
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 3: told me she's felt like I'm around too much. As

402
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 3: it is, we spend at least four hours one on

403
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 3: one together per day. We hire a cleaner, so the

404
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,199
Speaker 3: only chores we really have are cooking. We don't consider

405
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,359
Speaker 3: cooking to be a chore, and for us, preparing our

406
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,880
Speaker 3: meals does count as quality time. We also spend time

407
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 3: cuddled up watching movies, reading books, and playing board games.

408
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 3: What I'm trying to get at here is that our

409
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 3: time together is recreational and relaxing, not spending the day

410
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 3: near each other doing chores. That's not how our life functions.

411
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 3: I go over to Cali's on the weekends for an

412
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,159
Speaker 3: hour or two, and she comes over here during the

413
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 3: week for an hour.

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Speaker 1: That's normal for us.

415
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Speaker 3: Sometimes I go over for an additional visit where she

416
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 3: comes over here for an additional one. It works out

417
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 3: to seeing each other three to four times a week normally,

418
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 3: but there are times when neither of our schedules mesh

419
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 3: and we only see each other at lunch. Lurie often

420
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,879
Speaker 3: comes over to Calie's with me and leaves at the

421
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,239
Speaker 3: halfway point so that we can watch the latest Game

422
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 3: of Thrones episode or play a game that my wife

423
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,840
Speaker 3: wouldn't enjoy. Laurie has never communicated, and she has had

424
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 3: plenty of opportunities too that she wasn't okay with this.

425
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,959
Speaker 3: We have a similar setup with some of her close friends.

426
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 3: As for my going overboard for Cali, I'm still not

427
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 3: really sure how giving her a ride once and calling

428
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 3: an uber for her once when I canceled on her

429
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,679
Speaker 3: is somehow unreasonable. Laurie is the one who suggested I

430
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 3: call her an uber.

431
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,720
Speaker 1: By the way she said it was the gentlemanly thing

432
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 1: to do.

433
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,199
Speaker 3: Laurie is also a huge proponent of being kind to

434
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 3: people that you care about. She's given, not loaned, literally

435
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 3: thousands of dollars to her friends over the course of

436
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 3: our relationship. She's bought plane tickets for her friends, driven

437
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,880
Speaker 3: them across the country in more.

438
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,440
Speaker 1: Than one case.

439
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 3: She's brought some of them to live with us temporarily

440
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 3: in more than one instance, all of this without asking me.

441
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have said no, but she still should have

442
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 3: asked me. What I'm getting at here is that, given

443
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,439
Speaker 3: the context of what she does for the people in

444
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 3: her life, if only a cabin spending less than five

445
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 3: dollars in gas money shouldn't be considered unreasonable. I think

446
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 3: I've clarified a lot, but if anyone has further questions,

447
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 3: I'm willing to answer them.

448
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 1: And now here is the update. Oh gosh, I wasn't

449
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 1: even the update yet. Ah.

450
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 3: You know, I think it's maybe curtains for this relationship,

451
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 3: and it probably should be. I agree, you're gonna be

452
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 3: blown away when you meet women who don't feel the

453
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 3: need to exercise control over every single decision.

454
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, they do exist. I promise there's one. Hi.

455
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:35,880
Speaker 7: Hi.

456
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 1: She's sitting here in your screen, and I'm not the

457
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 1: only one. Trust me, She's not.

458
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 3: Laurie came out of the guest room early this morning

459
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 3: and woke me up because she wanted to talk. She

460
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 3: apologized for shutting herself in and shutting down instead of

461
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 3: engaging me in a conversation. She admitted that I deserve

462
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 3: at least a conversation. It was a blur and so

463
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 3: many things were discussed, so I'm not even going to

464
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 3: try to give a play by play. He broke down

465
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 3: and cried, and I held her as we talked. I

466
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 3: tried to be as supportive as I could because she

467
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 3: seemed to be in a lot of pain.

468
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,120
Speaker 1: I was glad to be there for her.

469
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 3: What it boiled down to is that Laurie had been

470
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 3: seeing Chad behind mine Callie's back for four years.

471
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: What you call it, you literally called it from the beginning.

472
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: That's when they do a one eighty out of the blue.

473
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's always because they're just some funny business.

474
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 5: It's literally, it's honestly so crazy how similar all of

475
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 5: these stories are, Like, this is always what happens, and

476
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 5: it's not even like we're just making it up or.

477
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 1: Just like you know, generalizing.

478
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 5: This is literally in all of these stories where someone's

479
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 5: randomly accusing you of cheating or being controlling or thinking

480
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 5: cheating is going on, it's because.

481
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,879
Speaker 1: They are cheating one hundred It is so crazy.

482
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 3: Near one hundred ninety something. Oh my god, very very common.

483
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so much more complicated that it was with Chad.

484
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 3: Yes, that is incredibly complex. Yes, she had said that

485
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 3: I was the safer bet for her, and she settled

486
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 3: for me, knowing I was a better husband, but she

487
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 3: was in love with him. She's felt guilty for his

488
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 3: because it happened after a fight they had.

489
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

490
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 7: Huh.

491
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: Oh you can't blame yourself for that.

492
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 3: Though, because it's just a, it's too complicated. Too complicated,

493
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 3: he wanted to come clean with us. He wanted a divorce,

494
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 3: and Laurie didn't. She said that he told her he'd

495
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 3: rather be passed away than keep up the line. She

496
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 3: feels directly responsible for his self harm, and every time

497
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 3: she sees Calli, she feels the guilt and pain all

498
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 3: over again, and she can't handle.

499
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 5: Gosh, this is a much crazier story than I thought

500
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 5: we were getting into.

501
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 3: Sorry, I was just I would have had more to add,

502
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 3: but I just read the next line, which is she

503
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 3: wanted me to end my friendship with Calli so that

504
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 3: she didn't have to deal with her emotions.

505
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 1: And this problem makes more sense. Why she was like,

506
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: you're you're.

507
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 5: Giving her too much attention on this and not me,

508
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 5: because he didn't realize how much she was.

509
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:14,959
Speaker 1: Hurting because of this, this tragedy. But but she she couldn't.

510
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 3: She also couldn't come out and say that because she's like, well,

511
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,199
Speaker 3: this also was really hurting me because I loved him

512
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: and was cheating on you with him.

513
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: Because I was literally I was thinking that earlier.

514
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 5: I was like, but wouldn't it make sense that Collie

515
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 5: would need more attention like.

516
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't get why the wife would need.

517
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 5: That much attention in this situation. But now we have

518
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 5: our answers segue.

519
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 3: By the way, you can listen to full episodes with

520
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 3: stories just like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, wherever

521
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 3: you listen to podcasts. Just search, okay, storytime, search it.

522
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more story here. Wow, let's just

523
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 3: go ahead and and and dig into it. Folks, don't

524
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 3: cheat on your partners, don't. I don't know where things

525
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 3: stand with us right now. This is another huge bombshell.

526
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 3: I don't think think that this is going to be

527
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,639
Speaker 3: good for us though, Brother, I don't think you should

528
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 3: be married. This is over relationship. Over territory is where

529
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 3: you are at, undeniably. She agreed to counseling with me

530
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 3: and is currently moving out of the house and in

531
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: with her best friend Susan for the time being while

532
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 3: we sort all of this out. We've made an appointment

533
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 3: for a marriage counselor for early next week, and I

534
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 3: am looking into a lawyer just in case. Thank you

535
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 3: to everyone who posted their advice. I'm posting this because

536
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 3: there was a surprising amount of people who wanted me

537
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 3: to update.

538
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: So here it is.

539
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 3: I don't really have any more questions other than is

540
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 3: this even worth salvaging? No, in no universe is this

541
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 3: a salvage situation unless it was a car accident, because yeah,

542
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 3: that car is now on a salvage title because it's totaled.

543
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 3: Niche insurance jokes. But none of you can answer that.

544
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 3: Yes we can, brother, I'm sorry. That's why you posted

545
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 3: this on the internet, and so you could get people's

546
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 3: opinions from outside of your own life as a third

547
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 3: party and tell you yes or no.

548
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you no.

549
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 5: My wife refuses to let me work overseas, but it

550
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 5: could improve our lives, not according to her. The CEO

551
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 5: of the company I've worked out for the past four

552
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 5: years has given me the opportunity to start up and

553
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 5: run a subsidiary of the company in Thailand. I get

554
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 5: all the benefits I could think of, a ridiculous expat

555
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 5: moving package, a very minor taken ownership of the parent company,

556
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 5: and a USD salary in the low six figures with

557
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 5: a month of paid vacation. My mind was blown. I

558
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 5: make less than half of that. Now I would have

559
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 5: to be there for the complete two years. We're talking

560
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 5: a smidgeon under half a million dollars total, and would

561
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 5: be able to come back after that time. By the way,

562
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 5: this comes from I want two goal please and if

563
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

564
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime subredit.

565
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: So I was ecstatic.

566
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 4: I've broken my back.

567
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 5: For this company and I finally caught a dang break.

568
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 5: We've been together almost three years.

569
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: I told my wife and she wasn't having it.

570
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 5: She said Thailand has a bad reputation, too many attractive girls,

571
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 5: crappy hot weather, et cetera. I told her, obviously she

572
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 5: could come with me, and she still said no. Like

573
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 5: what my wife works in that she has a few

574
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 5: blogs as she writes, volunteers with nonprofits, and also does

575
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 5: some art.

576
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: Now I don't mean to put down her dreams, but

577
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: it'd be nice if those things paid. Lol. I have suspicions.

578
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I think.

579
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: This is unfortunately a case for the wife might be

580
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: like not processing her partner's newfound success in a healthy way.

581
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 5: I pay for probably ninety seven percent of everything that

582
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 5: we spend. I told her that she could do those

583
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 5: things there. She said that it wouldn't be the same.

584
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 5: I offered to pay for any flights that she wanted

585
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 5: to take back to Cali or heck anywhere, and she

586
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 5: still doesn't want it.

587
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: But I accepted the job offer. Good. I'm a piece

588
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:55,920
Speaker 1: of crap for not.

589
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 5: Listening to her, I know, but this is beyond a

590
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 5: life changing opportunity for me. Yes, this is literally my

591
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 5: dream as much as it is her dream to be

592
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 5: on the board of a nonprofit or have an art show.

593
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 5: She was incensed and still is. She keeps saying that

594
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 5: I'm not going and that's it, hinting that she will

595
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 5: leave me if I get on that flying machine. But

596
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 5: what the heck am I supposed to do? I love

597
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 5: this woman. She's always been my rock. She is a

598
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 5: great person. I mean, I can still reject the job,

599
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 5: but after accepting it.

600
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: They will rightfully be angry, I imagine. Oh, and we

601
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: do have an update, But what's our answer to that?

602
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: For the love of God, buddy, don't reject this job offer.

603
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 3: Don't.

604
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 5: This is an incredible job offer, especially if it's something

605
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 5: that you actually like doing.

606
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 1: Dream dream Are you kidding? Yeah?

607
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 3: If somebody offered me a position for like six figures

608
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 3: in Thailand.

609
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would take it to right now.

610
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 5: One thing I'd like to say, and that irged me,

611
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 5: is a few of you harping on her saying that

612
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 5: she's immature.

613
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 1: My wife is smart and educated.

614
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 5: She did her BA in a field whose career path

615
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 5: is only really in academia and has no real private

616
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 5: career path. I don't want to say Witchfield because knowing Reddit,

617
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 5: you guys will probably put her down for pursuing it.

618
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 5: She was highly involved in her university. She is one

619
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 5: of the most mature, reliable, honest, and organized people.

620
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:12,719
Speaker 1: I know.

621
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 5: I'm not saying every twenty one year old is not immature, obviously,

622
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 5: but I have to ask you to take me at

623
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 5: my word when I say that, there are a few

624
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 5: who are.

625
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: So hang on, this wife is twenty one years old.

626
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 1: You're twenty one?

627
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 5: That's yeahng, That just like really changed things in my yes,

628
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 5: my view of this story.

629
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: How old is this husband? So I would assume similar ages.

630
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: I'm just suing, but maybe not.

631
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 3: But it's like, yeah, twenty one is the perfect time

632
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 3: to go to Thailand for two years with your boyfriend

633
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 3: and try to pursue.

634
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: Your art career. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, maybe the best thing

635
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: that could have ever happened to her.

636
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 5: Literally and if I mean, I get it if she's

637
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 5: maybe jealous of like, oh, like his career is taking

638
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 5: off in mine isn't. Like, but he's willingly paying for

639
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 5: like everything that you're doing. Pretty sure, so like, wouldn't

640
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 5: this be great for you both because then he can

641
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 5: willingly pay more for.

642
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 3: What you for your art degree or what I have

643
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 3: to mention, he said he broke his back for years

644
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 3: working for this company to do this raise the position

645
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 3: offer he earned it. Man, yeah, jeez, I feel like

646
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 3: he's got to be older, honestly. So few situations would

647
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 3: I say take the job, but like, take the job.

648
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 1: Take the job. I wouldn't mostly say to take.

649
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 3: The job if the conversation can't get to the heart

650
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 3: of this problem and fix it.

651
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't let her tell you were not going.

652
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 5: Yeah, you've chosen you are still your own person at

653
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 5: the end of the day. I feel like I have

654
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 5: to say that because in the past she has taken

655
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 5: a lot of issue with people denigrating or judging her

656
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 5: because of her age. I kind of feel bad about

657
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 5: this actually, because she'd tell me about different times when

658
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 5: this would happen, and secretly I thought she may have

659
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 5: been a tad bit exaggerating, but judging from my last thread,

660
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 5: she has probably faced and dealt with a lot of

661
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 5: flak and some mentioned that she doesn't work. She does work,

662
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 5: but she works on things that are her passion. She

663
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 5: could get a teaching or a TA job or other job,

664
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 5: and we've had long talks about her fighting employment, but

665
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 5: she is audamant that she continues doing what she loves

666
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 5: and does best. I don't want people to think that

667
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 5: she just sits at home watching Netflix or something. She's

668
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 5: super busy, has a very strong social life, et cetera.

669
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 5: Would I love it if she could contribute to our budget.

670
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 5: We wouldn't want a double income, but if we can

671
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 5: make it on mine, then I'd rather see her happy

672
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 5: and pursuing her dreams. And wouldn't she want the same

673
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 5: for you? Wouldn't she want you to be pursuing your dreams.

674
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: Just feels a little one sided.

675
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 5: This feels like maybe she just likes being in California

676
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 5: and like with you and likes having your money.

677
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: Perhaps I'm going to throw that out there.

678
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: It sounds like she likes having her whole way paid

679
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 3: for and the ability to hang out and do and

680
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: see whoever she wants and all your friends, and.

681
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: You know she can't. I'm sure she does love you.

682
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 5: Maybe she doesn't want you to, you know, be in Thailand,

683
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 5: But it sounds like if her social life is like

684
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 5: half of her busy time, at least.

685
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 1: She loves it's her friends more than you. Bro, She's

686
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: not gonna want to move to Thailand.

687
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if she You clearly love your your

688
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 3: your wife, but she loves your friends more than you,

689
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: or she'd be going to Thailand with you to pursue

690
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 3: her art career.

691
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: Sorry, buddy, I I don't know how else to say it.

692
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: That's the cold water. But on to the update after

693
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: the thread. I really didn't want to waste time.

694
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 5: I hate procrastination because if I chose to stay, I

695
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 5: would need to let the company know asad.

696
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: We please don't tell me you're staying.

697
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 6: Please.

698
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 5: We sat down late this afternoon and had a very

699
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 5: long drawn out conversation. I fully put it out there

700
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 5: that me staying is completely in the realm of possibility

701
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 5: no uh oh, that she was half of this marriage

702
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 5: and as such, her say held that much.

703
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: Weight, which means if she didn't want me to go,

704
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: I would stay.

705
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 5: She was very happy to hear this, and I gotta

706
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,959
Speaker 5: thank the advice I got from the last thread for that.

707
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 5: It really opened my eyes to what I was doing.

708
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 5: I laid out all my reasons. I told her more

709
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 5: about Thailand. I told her flight times to different countries

710
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 5: and back to the US as well.

711
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: I asked her if we could fit in a.

712
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 5: Trip there just to see one person mentioned, showing her

713
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 5: how much we would benefit via bar charts from my

714
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 5: greater income, and I did that. I went a little

715
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 5: into more detail about the minor ownership stake I would

716
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 5: receive from the parent company, which itself could prove to

717
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 5: be worth something big in the future. Plus it puts

718
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 5: my skin in the game with the company. I mentioned

719
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 5: our current financial situation. I don't want to get into this,

720
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 5: though not as bad as it was in the past,

721
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 5: could be better, especially in a place like San Francisco.

722
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 5: I printed up a lot of financial statements. I spent

723
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 5: this entire morning preparing. Some habits from work are helpful.

724
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 5: Sometimes I put it all out there and more, and

725
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 5: then I listened to her side. She agreed fully that

726
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 5: all my points were good, but ultimately she said that

727
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 5: she just didn't want to go.

728
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: Oh, no way. She ultimately said, sh I'm selfish.

729
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just don't want to live in Tailand and

730
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 5: my friends are out there.

731
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna have nothing

732
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: to do anymore. It's different. Why would I go? She

733
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: didn't want to live.

734
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 5: For any extended amount of time in a third world country.

735
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 5: She didn't want to have to learn a new language.

736
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 5: She didn't want to get to know all these people, locals, expats,

737
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 5: et cetera. She didn't want to be isolated from her

738
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 5: friends and family. She acknowledged that she could go back

739
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 5: and forth whenever she wanted, but felt that she would

740
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 5: still be isolated.

741
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: She said she knows I'd never cheat and.

742
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 5: Didn't want to imply anything regarding that, but she still

743
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 5: said that she would feel negatively towards herself knowing that

744
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 5: there are that many thin and attractive women out there.

745
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 1: Quote to deal with that day in and day out.

746
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: Hey, guess what, there's lots of thin, attractive women in

747
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 3: San Francisco too. Hate to break it, Tea, Oh my god,

748
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 3: it's almost like there's attractive women everywhere.

749
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: What No, way.

750
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Oh, I guess it's not a bad

751
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: news for your relationship.

752
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 5: I guess this was a strange reason, and honestly I'm

753
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 5: not sure what to make of it. But I didn't

754
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 5: push her on it. You can't help how you feel sometimes.

755
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 5: I guess I took it all in. I never interrupted

756
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 5: her and let her get it all out. Then we

757
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 5: spoke and discussed more. I tried to bring up my

758
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 5: points again and she did hers. She said that she

759
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 5: appreciated me and loved me, but she just can't sacrifice. Well, eventually,

760
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 5: I said, after all, we've said, what percentage are you at?

761
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 1: Are you like twenty.

762
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 5: Percent leaning on us going or seventy percent leaning on

763
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 5: us going or what she said, an even zero percent?

764
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 5: That kind of hit me in the chest, hard, really hard.

765
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 5: She said, flaty that she would not move no matter

766
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 5: what I said. She acknowledged that I made good points

767
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 5: again but held her ground. Yeah, So I told her, well,

768
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 5: if that's how you feel, I won't go. She was

769
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 5: smiling but said that she didn't believe me. I told her, no,

770
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 5: I'm serious. If you don't want me to go, I

771
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 5: won't break my marriage. For this marriage is a two

772
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 5: Way Street, like a lot of people said in the thread.

773
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: And I remembered that during the conversation. So that's the update.

774
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 5: She's meeting me later tonight for a sort of celebratory

775
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 5: makeup dinner.

776
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 8: I honestly feel I wonder who's paying for that oohm

777
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 8: ope with the salary that is not increasing anytime soon apparently,

778
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 8: and the company's gonna be so mad now.

779
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: So now they're really not gonna like he's never getting

780
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: this opportunity ever, he never. I hate this, I really

781
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: do too. I hate this, I really do too.

782
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 3: This girl who is like so like obviously blatantly doesn't

783
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 3: give two craps about what you think or feel about anything.

784
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: She only cares about what she thinks and feels about stuff, Like.

785
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,280
Speaker 5: They can just at least do long distance for two years,

786
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 5: it was every opportunity She's like.

787
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 3: She acknowledged that, even though she would have any opportunity

788
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 3: to fly back to her friends whenever she wanted.

789
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, she's like, I honestly feel pretty numb, Like when

790
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,280
Speaker 5: I am just dreading calling to cancel my acceptance after

791
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 5: the weekend, I have no idea what the fallout of

792
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 5: that is going to be.

793
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: Like one last thing.

794
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 5: I've gotten a lot of personal messages and I ready

795
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 5: each one and appreciate them all deeply. It's making me

796
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 5: really second guess myself on what I'm doing. Thank God,

797
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 5: I wish I had more time to think about this.

798
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 5: I never thought this job offer would cause this many problems.

799
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 5: I almost wish I never got it.

800
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: And there is another update and I am.

801
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 5: So scared and so excited at the same time. Oh

802
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 5: my godh my gosh, I feel sick. I'm really I'm

803
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 5: so glad that there's an update, but ha, I'm scared.

804
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 5: Let's get it all right. Update number two. This is

805
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 5: an update, but also needs some advice. In the last thread,

806
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 5: I said I was going to not take the job. Well,

807
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 5: once that weekend ended, I prepared myself to tell them

808
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 5: that although I accepted, I would have to reneg but

809
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 5: I couldn't do it.

810
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: I just couldn't do it. I physically couldn't muster the

811
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 1: ability to do it.

812
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 3: Yes.

813
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 5: My wife asked me if I did, and I said

814
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 5: that I didn't get a chance.

815
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: But I do it the next day, but in the end,

816
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to do it.

817
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 3: Yes, you.

818
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 5: Don't do it, Yes, yes, I can't say thank you

819
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 5: enough to the personal messages I got and the comments

820
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 5: on the thread.

821
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: I love my wife, but I just can't give this up.

822
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 5: Woo oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

823
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 7: Ha.

824
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 5: And you know what will also make us scream with

825
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 5: you the much joy.

826
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 7: Yes, if you listen to full episodes of stories just

827
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 7: like this one Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple podcast, whatever your favorite

828
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 7: podcast up is just search okay, story time, and we

829
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 7: will be cheering and celebrating just the same a.

830
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. We're sometimes crying, but like this time, celebrating.

831
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: This time we're celebrating.

832
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 5: But oh my gosh, I'm there's still a little bit

833
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 5: more to the story.

834
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: But I am so relieved.

835
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: You're on the right track. Brother, Just stay strong. You

836
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 3: know in your heart what you don't want. Yes, so

837
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 3: don't do that.

838
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: Don't do it.

839
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 5: This is literally you're you're having the strongest gut feeling

840
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 5: of your life, like your spirit, your past, all your

841
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 5: past lives are telling you right now not to do this.

842
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, yes, all right, let's get into it.

843
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 5: She caught on that I wasn't ending the job offer,

844
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 5: and I told her I just couldn't do it. She

845
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 5: was furious and basically left six ish days ago and

846
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 5: is staying at her friends who is a girl house.

847
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 5: She won't take my calls and we've been texting a

848
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 5: few time today when she responds anyway, she is keeping

849
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 5: her position and she says that she will leave if

850
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 5: I don't end the job. But I just can't do it.

851
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 5: So I suppose we are headed for a divorce. But

852
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 5: it's so unclear. On the other hand, I am glad

853
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 5: I didn't go through with canceling the job, so I'm

854
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 5: kind of glad with that decision. The resentment would have

855
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 5: destroyed me, I think. And that is the end.

856
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 6: Sam.

857
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

858
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: three of it's bad from our sponsors.

859
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 4: I want to leave my nightmare marriage, but she refuses

860
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 4: to let go.

861
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: She's got you in the vice grip.

862
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 4: I've never really been an outgoing guy, but I've been

863
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 4: content with being myself. Always like reading books, playing music,

864
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 4: computer games, and all those other stuff where you can

865
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 4: lose yourself to something. This is probably why I've only

866
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 4: been in one relationship before the one I am and now,

867
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 4: and I really regret ever getting together with the woman

868
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 4: who I am now married to Boom. By the way,

869
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: this goes from sad mister guy.

870
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 6: Oh, what a sad mister guy.

871
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 4: And if you want to spend your own stories go

872
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime suffered it. So when

873
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 4: I look back at it now, I can see that

874
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 4: it really started as soon as we got together. I

875
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 4: think it was the third day or something like that,

876
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 4: when she wanted to have a quiki. Apparently I didn't

877
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 4: know how to have a quiki, as when I was

878
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 4: playing with her front airbag, suddenly she just tells me

879
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 4: to stop, that this wasn't a quickie, that I was

880
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 4: taking too long, and now she didn't want it anymore.

881
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: Ain't that always how it goes?

882
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 4: Oh man. Two days after that, after almost having a

883
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 4: spicy sleep again, she told me that I wasn't much

884
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 4: of a man. I think I just blamed it on

885
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 4: meaning inexperienced and that her behavior was just to be expected,

886
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 4: is it. I also told myself that it would get better. Well,

887
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 4: of course it got better, had spicy sleep, did fun

888
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 4: things together and all that. Then after a few months

889
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 4: there was a problem with a new common person in

890
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 4: her life that she really really started to hate. I

891
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 4: tried explaining to her why I thought he did the

892
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 4: things he did, and then she got furious with me,

893
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 4: called me names, and ended it all with telling me

894
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 4: that I should go and f him in the butt

895
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 4: if I liked him that much.

896
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: Wow, she's this girl sounds like a real catch.

897
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 4: She sounds like a doll.

898
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, a doll that has burning eyes made out of fire.

899
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 4: Yes, possessed all. I don't remember what I did after that,

900
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 4: but afterwards I didn't dare talk against her when she

901
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 4: started talking about that guy, I didn't dare speak against

902
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 4: my girlfriend.

903
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: She's dangerous.

904
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 4: It is a bit fuzzy what happened after that, But

905
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,439
Speaker 4: a few weeks before Christmas, I had been feeling really

906
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 4: bad about a relationship, and one morning she woke up

907
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 4: and was furious that she didn't get to train as

908
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 4: I had promised to wake up early and go with her.

909
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 4: But I didn't. Of course, I know that I should

910
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 4: have done as I promised all, but I just remember

911
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 4: the way she said that she didn't train because of me.

912
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 4: After this, she went to class and pretty much commanded

913
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 4: me what to do while she was gone. Nothing of

914
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 4: this sounds really bad when I type it, but at

915
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 4: the time, and all things put together, it just made

916
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 4: me flee the place. No, it does sound bad. What

917
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 4: are you talking about? He's like, none of this sounds bad.

918
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 4: I suppose this is crazy.

919
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: Is this his first girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, that's a problem, buddy.

920
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 4: And I ended up back at my place crying.

921
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: Oh.

922
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 4: After a while, she called me and I went back

923
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,800
Speaker 4: to her place. Just one or two days before Christmas,

924
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 4: I had been at my place wrapping Christmas presents, and

925
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,399
Speaker 4: on my way back to her place, I got this

926
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 4: idea that I should buyer some flowers. I did this

927
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 4: in a grocery store nearby and was in a hurry,

928
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 4: so I didn't really look at what I bought. Some

929
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 4: just took some Christmas arrangements that they had some white flowers,

930
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 4: a little green around, and not at all fresh, which

931
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 4: I didn't see. I guess I should have taken my

932
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 4: time to look at what I was buying, but I didn't.

933
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 4: When I gave them to her, she started shouting and

934
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 4: screaming at me. They were first of all, two white

935
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 4: flowers and pairs, and white is what you should give

936
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 4: to the past away. And also the flowers weren't fresh.

937
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 4: I don't remember if they were like brown or passed

938
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 4: away already, but we put them in a ace afterwards.

939
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 4: Of course, I can understand that she was upset, but

940
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:18,760
Speaker 4: she just continued and continued and continued until I started crying,

941
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 4: put on my shoes and left. My guy, My guy,

942
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 4: do not settle for the first person you meet and

943
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 4: ignore all of the red flags. Yeah, that's the thing here,

944
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 4: because like maybe you the first person you meet is

945
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 4: amazing and like perfect and that's great. But maybe the

946
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 4: first person you meet kind of sucks and you're like, well,

947
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 4: there's no one else out there.

948
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 1: You don't know how bad people suck until you meet.

949
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 3: You Gotta you gotta get out there and see other

950
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 3: people being so you know when people are being monstrous

951
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 3: towards you or when they're being good. Oh yeah, wait,

952
00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 3: by my ICU, is that she's cheating easy? He said,

953
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 3: you're not much of a man, yeah, and is now

954
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 3: trying to get you to leave her.

955
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah. After walking around a bit, I returned, and then

956
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 4: I guess we did something, And I don't really remember Christmas.

957
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 4: There are a lot of other situations like this, but

958
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 4: I can't write all of them because no one is

959
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 4: going to have the patience to read it all. But then,

960
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 4: when we'd been together for a little more than a year,

961
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 4: I proposed to her, broke up for a few hours

962
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 4: a week later, got married when we'd been together for

963
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 4: two years, And now that is almost a year ago.

964
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 4: As is custom, for all of these three years, I

965
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 4: had heard so many things about how I do things wrong,

966
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 4: how I make her feel miserable, how I'm not by

967
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 4: her side, that I don't have any ambition, that I

968
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 4: don't do anything that is fun, that I don't fight

969
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 4: for us, I'm not romantic, how late I make her

970
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 4: that she's starting to become unambitious like me, And I

971
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 4: guess a lot of it is true. Buddy stop, he

972
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 4: has zero self confidence. I like to socialize, but not

973
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 4: really go to social gathering and meet new people and

974
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 4: make stupid things. I don't really have any ambition, no

975
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 4: me in ten years. I'm not a romantic kind of

976
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 4: guy that comes up with fun, impulsive things. But some

977
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 4: of it just makes me furious to think about. It's

978
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 4: not that I'm not by her side, it's that she

979
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 4: does and said says things I don't like, or brings

980
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 4: up things I think are private, and expects me to

981
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 4: agree with her and be supportive. Instead, I get really defensive,

982
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 4: which I know is horrible of me, and try to

983
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 4: make it sound not as bad as I think she

984
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 4: makes it as I think she makes it sound. Sometimes

985
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 4: I think I managed to be by her side, but

986
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 4: then afterwards I get to hear how it really was.

987
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 4: The thing that she feels that she is lazy and

988
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 4: has started to be like me. I don't even know

989
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 4: what to say about that. You get affected by the

990
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 4: people around you, so maybe I do that. And of

991
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 4: course there have been a lot of good times also,

992
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 4: and there is a very likable, awesome girl that I

993
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 4: am married to, but all this other stuff is slowly

994
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 4: eroding me away. A week ago I broke down, or

995
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 4: however I should explain it. We had been away from

996
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 4: each other for a week, only chatted over the internet,

997
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 4: and I had started to feel really bad. She had

998
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 4: been telling me that I, yet again was not fighting

999
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 4: for her and had really never done it. We were

1000
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 4: friends before we were a couple and didn't ever really date.

1001
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 4: It all ended with her telling me as a joke,

1002
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 4: she told me later not a joke, joke but not

1003
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 4: entirely serious, that we were now divorced and I, who

1004
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 4: wanted to show what a man I was, said, good,

1005
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 4: now I can fight for you and win you back.

1006
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think you're not ready to You're

1007
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 3: not ready for marriage, might even be ready for dating.

1008
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 1: Brother, got you gotta work on yourself, my guy, to

1009
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 1: find a core that you know is just your you.

1010
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: It belongs to you, and it's you, and you can

1011
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: lean on yourself.

1012
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean she's probably you probably like reading and

1013
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 4: playing games and you know, music, and she's probably criticizing

1014
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 4: that all the time. That's how you're talking about it.

1015
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: It's fine for you to like those things. They are

1016
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: fine things to.

1017
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 4: Learn, the normal things to like.

1018
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 2: Uh.

1019
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:10,280
Speaker 4: Then I just started crying, crying and crying, scream crying

1020
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 4: that I didn't even know that you could do. And

1021
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 4: afterwards I didn't answer the phone, logged out of all

1022
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 4: ways of communicating with me, and only called her three

1023
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 4: days later when she had gotten really scared and called

1024
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 4: the police, which went and found me. I know that

1025
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 4: this is one of the most horrible things I've ever

1026
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 4: done to a person, and I can't imagine what it

1027
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 4: has to feel like to not be able to get

1028
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 4: in touch with your spouse with no word of what

1029
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 4: is going on. I knew that she was probably scared

1030
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 4: for me, but still didn't answer for three whole days.

1031
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow.

1032
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 4: Now I've started talking to her again and planned to

1033
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 4: fly and be with her, and everything was going to

1034
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 4: be all right. Dude, if you had to run away

1035
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 4: for three days without talking to her, everything is not alright.

1036
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,359
Speaker 1: Where are your mentors? Where are your supports? Is sat?

1037
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 4: I don't know has a support system where.

1038
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: There needs to be.

1039
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 3: You need that, You need a person in your life

1040
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 3: who can be like, hey, that's this is bad, this

1041
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 3: is wrong, this is not how this is supposed to

1042
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:11,240
Speaker 3: make you feel.

1043
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 4: Now I've started talking to her again, plan to fly

1044
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 4: and be with her. But tonight when I called her

1045
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 4: on the phone, I got a very thorough explanation about

1046
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 4: angry as she had that I just disappeared like that,

1047
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,879
Speaker 4: how bad and immature it is to do something like that,

1048
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 4: and that you can't just let things go when you

1049
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 4: are a grown up, which I understand. You have to

1050
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 4: be strong, have to work for the things you want.

1051
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 4: Then she told me our real baron as to physically

1052
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 4: get rid of that behavior like eah with a spanking

1053
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 4: out of their kids, and this is probably why I

1054
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 4: behave the way I do. That you have to hit

1055
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 4: them so they feel the real pain. Oh my god,

1056
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 4: don't have kids with this woman and know that emotional

1057
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 4: pain is just not something to listen to. That if

1058
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 4: my upbringing had been better like hers, Ooh, yikes, that's

1059
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 4: not a good sign.

1060
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost as if we're getting more a constant,

1061
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 3: a constant feet of information that this woman is no

1062
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 3: good with her behavior.

1063
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's almost like she's got a little bit of

1064
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 4: a generational trauma. So after that, I think I told

1065
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 4: her I couldn't talk anymore, couldn't take it, and hung up.

1066
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 4: When she called a little while after, I answered, as

1067
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 4: I don't want to just disappear again and actually manage

1068
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,439
Speaker 4: to tell her kind of the story I wrote her now.

1069
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 4: She laughed about the part with the flowers because they

1070
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 4: were really passed away, don't you remember. I don't remember

1071
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,879
Speaker 4: what I said later, but I hung up. I also

1072
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 4: logged out of everything again and turned off the phone.

1073
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 4: Try to find someone to call, like a psychologist, but

1074
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 4: I guess they work normal hours, So I thought I

1075
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 4: could actually write it down. And I have to say

1076
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 4: that it feels good to just have done that. Is

1077
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 4: there anyone who has had some similar story? How do

1078
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 4: I actually manage to not get back together with her

1079
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 4: and instead get a divorce?

1080
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: Has anyone else dated the worst woman?

1081
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 4: Has oustated? The devil? And how do I leave her?

1082
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 4: How do I get out of this?

1083
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 3: You just go if you need a circle of salt,

1084
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 3: talk to your local parishioners and maybe you can get

1085
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 3: some holy water on the low from somebody and just

1086
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 3: like stand in that circle and throw that water and

1087
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 3: say be gone.

1088
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 4: I really don't think I can live like this? But

1089
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 4: why haven't I just left her already? I just feel fine? Stupid?

1090
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 4: How do I know if I make stupid things in relationships?

1091
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 4: There are probably a lot of things she's told me

1092
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,240
Speaker 4: that are true and that I ought to stop doing.

1093
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 4: But I have no idea how to know what is what?

1094
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 4: I never really ask people how their relationships are like,

1095
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 4: but only see them from outside. How is it actually

1096
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 4: you can't be nice with each other all the time?

1097
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,919
Speaker 4: What do you do when you disagree? If you really

1098
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:41,839
Speaker 4: really hurt each other?

1099
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: What do you do?

1100
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 4: Can you hurt someone without wanting to?

1101
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:47,720
Speaker 1: How are you married?

1102
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 3: My guy?

1103
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? Look, that's so sad.

1104
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 3: It gives that same energy of like a I can't

1105
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,479
Speaker 3: do another Charlie in the chocolate factory reference, I gotta

1106
00:48:58,520 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 3: do something else.

1107
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: It's like the kids staring and you know, standing in

1108
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: front of.

1109
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 3: Like the TVs in the window, and he's like, I

1110
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: wish I had one of those miles.

1111
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 4: It's like when it's like when Harry is standing in

1112
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 4: front of the Nimbus two thousand. Yeah, oh, not even Harry,

1113
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 4: all those other kids who are like Nimbus two thousand.

1114
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: I it's the fastest broom in the market.

1115
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 4: That's op And he's like, Wow, a healthy relationship. I'll

1116
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 4: never have that with my wife.

1117
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, we just live under the stairs.

1118
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 4: Youch youch y out shouch. But there is an update.

1119
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 3: Who let this man get married? I'm sorry, but like

1120
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 3: you were not ready?

1121
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 4: You have anyone in his life? He hasn't mentioned anyone.

1122
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 4: He hasn't mentioned a family member, friends, even a mentor

1123
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 4: nothing like anyone's sad friend.

1124
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: Man.

1125
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 4: It has now been over three weeks since I decided

1126
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:54,319
Speaker 4: to divorce my wife. I have solved all over most

1127
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 4: of the practical matters. I've talked to a lawyer that

1128
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 4: will handle the legal parts, moved all my stuff and

1129
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 4: almost found a therapist to talk to. I have not

1130
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 4: spoken to my soon to be ex wife, only sent

1131
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 4: her to emails, one about that I want to get

1132
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 4: a divorce and one with how to solve some practical matters.

1133
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 4: I can understand that this isn't enough for her, and

1134
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 4: she's tried to call a bunch of times, sends texts,

1135
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 4: messages me on Facebook, and sends emails, all because she

1136
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 4: wants to talk to me, and I guess get back together.

1137
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 4: Now she wants to meet me face to face, and

1138
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 4: I'm terrified of meeting her again. The situation. The situation

1139
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 4: is as follows. I'm from Country A in Europe and

1140
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 4: she's from Country B.

1141
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: All right, it's Albania and Belarus. Let's go.

1142
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 4: We both studied at the same university in Country A

1143
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 4: and have an apartment there. I got a job in

1144
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 4: Country C, Croatia, where the company fixed an apartment for

1145
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 4: the first few months, and me and my son soon

1146
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 4: to be ex lived there. Five weeks ago. She went

1147
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 4: back to Country B for medical reasons because it was

1148
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 4: easier for her to get a doctor there. So and

1149
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 4: I decided that I couldn't live like this anymore. And

1150
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 4: wanted a divorce. I was in Country C, she's in

1151
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 4: Country B. I then went back to Country A to

1152
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 4: get the divorce and move out my stuff from our

1153
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 4: apartment there. Now she's back in Country C, and I've

1154
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 4: been told by my colleagues that she's gonna stay there

1155
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 4: until I get back so she can meet me there.

1156
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 4: My flight there is in a few days. I can't

1157
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 4: really sleep, and I even had a nightmare about her

1158
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 4: last night. I was in some house, knew that she

1159
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,280
Speaker 4: was searching for me, and I just tried to hide

1160
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 4: and was scared as heck until I woke up.

1161
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 1: What do I do?

1162
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 4: If it was up to me, I would never ever

1163
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 4: meet her again. I don't want her to have a

1164
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 4: I don't want to have her affect how I behave

1165
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 4: and hide from her. But I have no idea what

1166
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 4: will happen if I meet her? And that scares the

1167
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,919
Speaker 4: crap out of me. Is it possible to just cut

1168
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 4: someone out like this? If I have to meet her,

1169
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 4: how do I handle it? If there's any chance that

1170
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 4: you think that you're gonna like fall back into, you know,

1171
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: a relationship with her or anything if you meet up

1172
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 4: with her, do everything virtually I'm a lawyer, handle everything

1173
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 4: you know. If you think that is going to be

1174
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 4: detrimental to your mental health to go meet her and

1175
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 4: have this conversation in person.

1176
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: Don't do it.

1177
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 4: I wouldn't recommend this for everyone. For most people, I

1178
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 4: think conversation in person is great for you. I don't

1179
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 4: think you're ready for it.

1180
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 3: Well, I think if you're in an active divorce situation,

1181
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 3: I would just don't eveh, don't talk to your lawyer.

1182
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer.

1183
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 9: Lay.

1184
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,399
Speaker 3: Now, if I were to give you the funny answer, yes,

1185
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 3: my funny answer would be meet up with her and

1186
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 3: speak only in simulish until she leaves.

1187
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, the fake language.

1188
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: All the sims say they eatlrla flaff and then she

1189
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 3: goes what you igloruflafflaff and.

1190
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 4: Then she goes what and you go and then you go, sorry,

1191
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 4: I'm speaking Blair. Update two. I read all of your

1192
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 4: advice in the previous post and thank you for your answers.

1193
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 4: Last weekend I met some friends and family. Oh p,

1194
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 4: he does have friends and family. Where have they been

1195
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 4: this whole time?

1196
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 1: Uh?

1197
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 4: First off, my ex's bank card is just expired, and

1198
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 4: of course the new one is in Country A and

1199
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 4: of course she couldn't leave Country Sea before she got it,

1200
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 4: even with a full tank of gas and lots of cash.

1201
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 4: I brought it with me anyways, it was hers, and

1202
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 4: if it meant she would leave, I was happy to

1203
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 4: bring it. I told her that someone would bring it

1204
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 4: to her on Monday and hoped that this would mean

1205
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 4: that I wouldn't have to see her. Well, that was wrong.

1206
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 4: When I arrived at the airport in the town I

1207
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 4: was working in, she was standing there a huge smile

1208
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 4: on her face, all dressed up, welcoming me back. I

1209
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 4: don't remember exactly what I said, but I immediately handed

1210
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 4: her bank card, said something about how I didn't want

1211
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 4: to speak to her or anything at all. She continued

1212
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 4: by hugging me, talking a lot about how we should

1213
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 4: get together, talk about it, solve it together. You get

1214
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 4: the picture. I was quite panicky at this moment, as

1215
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 4: I was waiting for my luggage and didn't want to

1216
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 4: just leave it there. I tried to walk outside, but

1217
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 4: she followed me. I tried to tell her to stop

1218
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 4: following me, but she wouldn't. It all ended up with

1219
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 4: me going to the employees of the company I was

1220
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 4: flying with and asking if I could hide with them.

1221
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 4: Sounds quite silly when you write about it like this,

1222
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 4: but I was terrified. Oh this is so sad because

1223
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 4: Opie's obviously in this like terrible relationship that has just

1224
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 4: broken him down completely, the point where he's scared of

1225
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 4: his wife.

1226
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 1: I'd be scared of her too, probably sounds of it.

1227
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 4: I mean, she sounds very emotionally abusive.

1228
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: Silver lining, though, is that this can all be over now? Yes, right,

1229
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:28,479
Speaker 1: it's like you.

1230
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,719
Speaker 3: You will be changed and affected by it, but you

1231
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 3: can go on your upswing now exactly.

1232
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: That's what's important.

1233
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 4: The employees were really nice and helpful, though, got my

1234
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 4: luggage for me and told me where I could find

1235
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 4: a taxi. After getting into the taxi, my lovely ex

1236
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 4: wife stop the taxi talked in through the window and

1237
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 4: asked something like, are you one hundred percent sure that

1238
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 4: you want to end our marriage over? I'm misunderstanding.

1239
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:56,280
Speaker 3: No, he actually fully understands now, Oh boy, he was misunderstanding.

1240
00:54:56,360 --> 00:55:00,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything before right that you were good. I still

1241
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 4: don't know what she meant, but I told her yes,

1242
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 4: and then told the taxi driver to drive me away

1243
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 4: from there. I ended up sleeping over at a friend's

1244
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 4: place that night, as I didn't want to be alone

1245
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 4: in a new apartment. The next day, Tuesday went okay.

1246
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 4: I went to work and started getting back into it.

1247
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 4: Oh was through some coworkers. My ex told me that

1248
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 4: she needed some pictures on my computer and sure I

1249
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 4: could give them to her. I found some USB sticks

1250
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 4: and moved the things she wanted to them. I also

1251
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 4: had some papers that she was going to get. I

1252
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,800
Speaker 4: didn't give them to her, but an employee at my

1253
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 4: company was going to go meet up with her the

1254
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 4: next day and solve some other stuff. My ex was

1255
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 4: still living in the company apartment, and as my employers

1256
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 4: are way too nice, she could stay there the whole

1257
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 4: week out. Everything was quite nice until Wednesday afternoon, when

1258
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 4: I had just gotten home from work. My ex started

1259
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 4: knocking on my door, wanting to meet talk, and also

1260
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 4: because I hadn't given her all the files that she wanted. Now,

1261
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 4: for most of us, the last thing could be solved

1262
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,840
Speaker 4: by sending stuff over the internet, but apparently not with her.

1263
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 4: When I heard her outside, all I did was quietly

1264
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 4: sit down on my chair and sat there until she left.

1265
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 4: Then I covered all the windows and just hid. I

1266
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 4: think I watched a movie. But here's when it gets insane.

1267
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 4: What what None of that was insane before? Here is

1268
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 4: where it gets insane.

1269
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: What are we talking about?

1270
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 4: She calls the police, who arrived at my apartment and

1271
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 4: ask if everything's all right. They also say that my

1272
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 4: exes my ex wants the keys to our apartment in

1273
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 4: Country A, and I tell them that I don't have

1274
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 4: the mayor, but a friend in Country A has them,

1275
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 4: which she knows. She also wanted some other things that

1276
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 4: I don't have. I invited the police in and they

1277
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 4: were quite concerned with how my hideout apartment looked like.

1278
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:46,839
Speaker 4: And I agree with them.

1279
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 3: Oh God, his apartment looks like, uh, Howard Hughes has

1280
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 3: been holed up in there.

1281
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's got like bars on the windows and the

1282
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 4: curtains are all drawn.

1283
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 3: He's got mysterious jars full of mysterious liquids.

1284
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 4: They asked questions about how I was feeling and if

1285
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 4: I wanted to go see a doctor right now, but

1286
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 4: I told them that I was going to see one

1287
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 4: the next day, and then I get a lot of

1288
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 4: support from the company. I think this was when one

1289
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,800
Speaker 4: of the officers went over to my ex and asked

1290
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 4: her to write down what it was that I have

1291
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 4: that is hers. After he got back, the paper basically

1292
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 4: said some more stuff on my computer, stuff I don't have,

1293
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 4: and that she wants me or the company to pay

1294
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 4: her trip back to country A.

1295
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 1: Where where did this woman get built?

1296
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 4: In the evil factory in the in the evil factory

1297
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 4: where they make Oh my goodness, OPI may not have

1298
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 4: that stuff, but we've got full episodes with stories just

1299
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 4: like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or iHeart

1300
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 4: Radio and search up. Okay, storytime, there is a little

1301
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 4: bit left to the story. But do you have any

1302
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 4: final thoughts?

1303
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 3: My parting thoughts would be, how do we prevent the

1304
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 3: situations from happening.

1305
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 4: Big time therapy because Op has been truly battered.

1306
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 1: Well yeah at this point.

1307
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 3: Now moving forward, Oh, you're gonna have to break this

1308
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 3: down in a professional setting. Yeah, But to prevent something

1309
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 3: like this to anyone else watching this out here who's

1310
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,959
Speaker 3: like this that kind of sounds like my relationship, get

1311
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 3: out of it.

1312
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 4: Get out there. Your partner should not be belittling you.

1313
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 4: You should not be afraid of your partner. You should

1314
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,080
Speaker 4: not be having nightmares about your partner.

1315
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: And it's not. That's not your fault.

1316
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 3: You're not having nightmares about them, and they're not berating

1317
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 3: you because you're wrong, no at all.

1318
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 4: If you were wrong that there are there are ways

1319
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 4: for them to communicate that in a kind and mature way,

1320
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 4: and berating you is not one of them. So so

1321
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:44,439
Speaker 4: be wary of those relationships and the people who from

1322
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 4: the start are mean to you.

1323
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: Exactly.

1324
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 4: But let's finish this story off. The policemen told me

1325
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:52,959
Speaker 4: to give the files to her and that you can't

1326
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 4: demand more things from me after this. They also told

1327
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 4: me that they are going to tell her to leave

1328
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 4: me alone and not go around my apartment try to

1329
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,439
Speaker 4: contact me or anything not related to the divorce. If

1330
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 4: anything happens, I should just call the cops and they

1331
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 4: will take care of it. So she called the police

1332
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 4: and I got help from them. Nice, but I don't

1333
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 4: think that's what she expected. After they left, I removed

1334
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 4: all the covers from my windows and cleaned up the place.

1335
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 4: The next day, I met a doctor who listened to

1336
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 4: my story and gave me a referral to a psychologist

1337
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: and counselor.

1338
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:23,800
Speaker 1: Good.

1339
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 4: I haven't got one yet, but it is on the

1340
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 4: way nice. I also put more files on USB sticks,

1341
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 4: stuff that I thought she already had, and sent them

1342
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 4: to her. It has been quiet these two nights, and

1343
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 4: we'll see how everything turns out. I don't know what

1344
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 4: will happen, but everyone around me is helpful, so I

1345
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 4: believe things are turning around for the better. And that

1346
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 4: is the end of that story.

1347
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 1: I agree, brother, they are turned around for the better.

1348
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 3: It couldn't get any worse than being married to her, No,

1349
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 3: unless you were somehow married to two of her.

1350
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 4: The ball is rolling up, my friends. Yeah, you're fa

1351
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 4: gearying out. You've left her. Dobby has gotta get better.

1352
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 4: It's gotta get better.

1353
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: Dobby is free. Hey y'all, it's John og Host here.

1354
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1355
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 2: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1356
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 3: My wife's night out with a friend went bad, but

1357
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 3: she said it's no big deal.

1358
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 6: It's no big deal that another guy was with me.

1359
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:23,680
Speaker 1: Nobody. Ooh, let's see if it's that kind of bad.

1360
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 3: My wife, who I've been with for eight years and

1361
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 3: married two for five and who is the mother of

1362
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 3: our three year old, decided to go out with some

1363
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 3: of her friends from work on Friday night.

1364
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: No big deal to me.

1365
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 3: I was more than happy to stay home and play

1366
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 3: with our child while she went out and had fun.

1367
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from throwaway eight eight two

1368
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 3: five eight, and if you want to submit your own stories,

1369
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 3: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. The night

1370
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 3: went late, but again this was not unexpected, as I

1371
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,439
Speaker 3: knew they were going to different locations and she told

1372
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 3: me upfront. I went ahead and went to bed around

1373
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 3: two thirty because our child had been asleep since nine

1374
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,479
Speaker 3: and I knew he would wake up somewhere between seven

1375
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,240
Speaker 3: and eight. I also knew if she was this late,

1376
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 3: she would be too tired to get up and deal.

1377
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 3: Not to mention, I figured she would have been drinking,

1378
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 3: so I wanted to give her a chance to rest.

1379
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 3: She stumbled in around three thirty or four and went

1380
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 3: right to bed. First, let me state that my wife

1381
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 3: rarely drinks. I don't drink at all, but on occasion,

1382
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 3: if she's with her family or friends, she will drink. Again,

1383
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 3: this is not unexpected, so I have no issue with this.

1384
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 3: I got up at six point thirty. Child got up early.

1385
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 3: I did the morning routine thing, and sometime around eleven

1386
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 3: thirty or so, I decided to check Facebook. Obviously, my

1387
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 3: wife and I are friends on Facebook, we have our

1388
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 3: own accounts, and lo and behold, there are many notifications

1389
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 3: of her being tagged in photos.

1390
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Henny, you was so crazy last night?

1391
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 1: Is this literally the plot of Last Friday Night? By

1392
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: Kay Perry?

1393
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 6: Somewherea mini bar. Is mentioned.

1394
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 3: Several photos from her friends early in that night, from

1395
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 3: a pizza joint they went to, then a couple at

1396
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,040
Speaker 3: a boo they were at. I'm kind of amused by

1397
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 3: some of the idiotic shots, but then came the next few.

1398
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,240
Speaker 3: One of the places they decided to go was to

1399
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 3: a country bar that had line dancing and crap like that.

1400
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 3: But Friday night was also wet T shirt night. What

1401
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 3: is that looking at all of our T shirts? This

1402
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 3: would be a bad day to get our T shirts wet.

1403
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 3: So showing your T shirt?

1404
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:32,120
Speaker 9: We all have white T shirts on, boo headlights on,

1405
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 9: we'd be looking nice, dude.

1406
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 3: Her friends were smart enough to not post any photos

1407
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 3: of her, but guess what. The bar has its own

1408
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 3: Facebook page and they post a lot of photos. Sure Enough,

1409
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,480
Speaker 3: a few clicks away, there's my wife getting a picture

1410
01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:48,840
Speaker 3: of water thrown on her with tons of guys standing

1411
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 3: around googling her and obviously cheering her on.

1412
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 1: Well, at this point I'm livid.

1413
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 3: However, where I really lost my mind was when I

1414
01:02:57,600 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 3: continued to look at the photos and saw that two

1415
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 3: of her co workers who went on the trip were men,

1416
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 3: men she works.

1417
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 1: With every day.

1418
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 3: And there they are just to the right side of her,

1419
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 3: one with his fist raised high cheering, and the other

1420
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 3: just absolutely fixated on her front airbags.

1421
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: We got the.

1422
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 3: And the yeah, look, how are we moving if we're op?

1423
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 3: Are we this upset? Yeah?

1424
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 6: I'd I'd be pretty upset, dude.

1425
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 1: I mean, what would be making you the most upset?

1426
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 1: The coworkers me.

1427
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 9: I watched a real yesterday that talked a lot about

1428
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 9: perception about this woman that went on a went on

1429
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 9: a lunch with a coworker and didn't tell her husband

1430
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 9: was perceived as cheating, even though it might not be.

1431
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 9: But right, it all has to do with perception here.

1432
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 9: One did the husband know there was gonna be a

1433
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 9: wet T shirt night?

1434
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:48,959
Speaker 6: Two?

1435
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 9: Does he know there was gonna be male coworkers there?

1436
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 9: And three is she hiding any information, So it doesn't

1437
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 9: like does it look good.

1438
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:55,920
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1439
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 9: It just all kind of seems like if I was

1440
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,040
Speaker 9: a friend and I knew this couple and I I

1441
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:01,960
Speaker 9: saw it from a distance and I was like, Yo,

1442
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 9: why is your wife at wet t shirt night kind

1443
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 9: of Joe's with two dudes.

1444
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be that would be the optics on that.

1445
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 3: If it's just girls' night, I feel like the vibes

1446
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 3: are different. But once you find out there's the male

1447
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 3: coworkers there and they're not just like strangers.

1448
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 1: Okay.

1449
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 3: So I did not wake her up because for one,

1450
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 3: I was too mad, and two I figured that this

1451
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 3: wouldn't be the best time. So I called her mom

1452
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 3: to see if she would watch the child for the

1453
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 3: rest of the day. Grandma to the rescue and went

1454
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 3: over there. I drove around a cool off and then

1455
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,400
Speaker 3: went home. She was up by this time, and I

1456
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 3: asked her how her night went, and she said it

1457
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 3: was crazy, and I said, yeah, I kind of gathered that,

1458
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 3: and then just opened up the laptop to the photos

1459
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,400
Speaker 3: of her I could tell she was startled by the photos,

1460
01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 3: but then just said, yeah, it was no big deal. Well,

1461
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 3: that was the worst possible thing she could have said

1462
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:58,680
Speaker 3: to me. Needless to say, I spent the next three

1463
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 3: hours telling her three hours brother, I agree with her,

1464
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, this is not a big deal.

1465
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 1: You on a going out thing. It's like you just you.

1466
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:09,880
Speaker 3: She has autonomy, it's like she can get you know,

1467
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 3: did she go home with one of those guys?

1468
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 1: She came home to you right. Needless to say, I

1469
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 1: spent the next.

1470
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:19,880
Speaker 3: Three hours there's worrying too much time telling her that,

1471
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,959
Speaker 3: under no circumstance did I consider this no big deal.

1472
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: In fact, I felt like it was an absolute betrayal

1473
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 3: of trust. I don't care if she was I don't

1474
01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 3: care if she did or did not sleep with anyone

1475
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 3: that night. She was wasted exposing herself to strange men,

1476
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 3: and worst of all, men she will be working with.

1477
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 6: It isn't a good look.

1478
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:39,960
Speaker 3: The only to me, the only thing that matters at all,

1479
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,000
Speaker 3: that is the last part, is that she works with

1480
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 3: these guys, and it creates an uncomfortable, potentially dynamic. I

1481
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:50,240
Speaker 3: often have to go where she works because of my job,

1482
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 3: and honestly, the thought of having to run into either

1483
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 3: of those guys right now disgusts me, I've never cheated

1484
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:57,320
Speaker 3: on her, and to the best of my knowledge, she

1485
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 3: has never cheated on me, although I'm not as confident.

1486
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:04,520
Speaker 1: Of that today as I was Thursday. But here's the issue.

1487
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 1: To me, she has shown that she cannot be trusted

1488
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 1: to go out and get wasted with her friends and

1489
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 1: still have the same type of relationship that we had before.

1490
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: As I said, I.

1491
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:17,919
Speaker 3: Don't drink ah and the worst thing I do as

1492
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 3: a guy with his friends is twice a year, I

1493
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 3: go to a fantasy sports league event held in a

1494
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 3: big seer a big nearby city. Believe me, it is

1495
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 3: the least spicy related fun thing you can imagine doing.

1496
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: Unless you like that stuff.

1497
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guarantee you there's nothing spicy going on to

1498
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 3: the fantasy football league event.

1499
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:37,920
Speaker 9: Just a bunch of dudes talking about other sweaty distance, a.

1500
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:40,480
Speaker 1: Bunch of dudes going twenty more yards. Come on, pick

1501
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 1: it up.

1502
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 3: I think this is actually a really interesting story about

1503
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 3: like where boundaries like and setting boundaries can be a

1504
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:50,000
Speaker 3: positive or an egg.

1505
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 9: It is a wild thing to say I don't trust

1506
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 9: my wife to ever go out and get wasted again, right,

1507
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 9: I don't think that's the case.

1508
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:59,080
Speaker 6: If it's that big of a deal. I think you

1509
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 6: both need to go to therapy. I'm always like, eat

1510
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 6: problem therapy.

1511
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it's just.

1512
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 6: Some pictures don't look like good optics.

1513
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 1: Right.

1514
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 9: Conversation, man, not an argument, just like, hey, these are

1515
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 9: my boundaries when you go out. I hope that you

1516
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:17,439
Speaker 9: go out and you respect me as your husband. And

1517
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 9: you know I'm not comfortable you're going to wet teaser tonight.

1518
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:21,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I'm not gonna.

1519
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 9: Participate in baseball pants night at the sports League thing.

1520
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,080
Speaker 9: So if you would think about me during those.

1521
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 3: Times, right, it needs to be like, hey, this is

1522
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:32,000
Speaker 3: that made me feel like this? I would I would

1523
01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:34,720
Speaker 3: really like it. If I didn't feel like this, would

1524
01:07:34,720 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 3: you maybe help me out with that? I know they

1525
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:39,040
Speaker 3: are trying to plan a big drinking night for two

1526
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:41,280
Speaker 3: weeks from now. I let her know that none of

1527
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 3: this was fine with me, and at the end, after

1528
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,439
Speaker 3: she said she was sorry, she still said she thought

1529
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:48,560
Speaker 3: I was making too big a deal out of it.

1530
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,200
Speaker 3: Am I wrong for being mad that she exposed herself

1531
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 3: to other men not really what happened, including coworkers who

1532
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 3: she hung out with for the rest of the night.

1533
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 1: Brother, it's a wet. She's still she's still wearing the shirt.

1534
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 6: Brother, Yeah, yeah, but everyone say no bra. Dude. I'm sorry.

1535
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:05,240
Speaker 9: If you have a white T shirt on, no bra

1536
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:08,560
Speaker 9: and I'm getting wet, you're gonna be seeing all my goods.

1537
01:08:09,080 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 1: It's the wet T shirt contest.

1538
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:12,680
Speaker 6: That's pretty bad, dude. I don't know.

1539
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:19,160
Speaker 9: I there is a mistrust here, and technically the dudes

1540
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:22,240
Speaker 9: did see some Bentley's.

1541
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:24,680
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1542
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,000
Speaker 9: Every time she goes out, she's not gonna see. She's

1543
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 9: not gonna be going to wet T shirt night. He's

1544
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 9: probably scared now. Conversation conversation conversation boundaries. Please don't expose

1545
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:39,599
Speaker 9: yourself to your male coworkers or anyone. Please, and maybe

1546
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:41,720
Speaker 9: trust her again, let her go out again. But this

1547
01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:43,639
Speaker 9: guy is taking it maybe a little bit too far.

1548
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 9: I don't know, it's just a miscommunication.

1549
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:48,760
Speaker 3: My thing is that the way he went about expressing

1550
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:53,360
Speaker 3: this to his partner was like way like unnest. It's like, uh,

1551
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:55,680
Speaker 3: you know, it's like dropping like a nuclear bomb on

1552
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:57,639
Speaker 3: the ant hill. It's like, yeah, the ants are gone,

1553
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 3: but like now there's like a giant crater and you

1554
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,680
Speaker 3: didn't need to do that, like you could have just

1555
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:08,080
Speaker 3: gone in surgically anyway. So am I wrong for being

1556
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:11,000
Speaker 3: mad that she exposed herself to other men, including coworkers

1557
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,639
Speaker 3: who she hung out with for the rest of the night. Yes,

1558
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 3: many years ago, we had to talk about relationship boundaries.

1559
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:20,679
Speaker 3: We both agreed that we are for one another only

1560
01:09:21,040 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 3: as far as spicy sleep and our bodies go. I

1561
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,439
Speaker 3: feel like she just broke that. Am I wrong for

1562
01:09:26,520 --> 01:09:31,639
Speaker 3: being pissed? There's the update. Well, that went to heck

1563
01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:34,839
Speaker 3: in a hurry. I got called by my wife's friend

1564
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:37,960
Speaker 3: Julie from work at about eleven thirty this morning, telling

1565
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:39,760
Speaker 3: me that my wife had been sitting at her desk

1566
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 3: all morning crying and was being sent home by her

1567
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 3: supervisor for the rest of the day. She already knew

1568
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 3: I knew, so she said that she wanted me to

1569
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:50,799
Speaker 3: know what happened. When they came into work this morning.

1570
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 3: Someone had set up the photo of her from the

1571
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:55,879
Speaker 3: bar as the background to her computer.

1572
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:58,440
Speaker 1: Only a couple of people.

1573
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,639
Speaker 3: Have access to do that, so their h our department

1574
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 3: is already investigating. But everybody is pretty sure that it

1575
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:07,240
Speaker 3: was Bob who was in the photo with her pumping

1576
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:08,240
Speaker 3: his fist in the air.

1577
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 9: So I was about to say to Another fact is

1578
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,160
Speaker 9: that the friends probably weren't really good putting her in

1579
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:17,800
Speaker 9: a situation where she got a little loose and then

1580
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 9: they're like, let's do what T shirt and night and

1581
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:21,360
Speaker 9: the guys are like, well.

1582
01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:24,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is that the two coworkers, male coworkers being

1583
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 3: there is like yeah, And it's like, from my perspective,

1584
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,000
Speaker 3: it's not even about like the how dare you?

1585
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:33,320
Speaker 1: It's more like that could get real messy at work.

1586
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:36,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's more like just watching watching out

1587
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:39,240
Speaker 3: for yourself and not putting yourself in a position where

1588
01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:42,479
Speaker 3: now and you've got your screensaver and it's gonna be

1589
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:44,400
Speaker 3: the new joke in the office and now HR is

1590
01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:45,759
Speaker 3: gonna have to get involved, and it's.

1591
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:48,240
Speaker 6: Like, optics aren't good, man, optics aren't good.

1592
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 1: I still trust my partner after this, Okay, but I

1593
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 1: I am like, do we want to do that?

1594
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:54,439
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1595
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 6: I'm also pulling up and having a conversation with Bob.

1596
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:01,599
Speaker 3: According to Julie, my wife, I've had a major meltdown

1597
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:04,960
Speaker 3: when she sat at the computer and was almost hysterical

1598
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:06,880
Speaker 3: before her friends got her calmed down.

1599
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:10,320
Speaker 1: However, she could not quit crying. According to Julie.

1600
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:12,720
Speaker 3: Just about everyone in the office knows about this, and

1601
01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:14,880
Speaker 3: she does not know how it is going to affect

1602
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,960
Speaker 3: her job, but right now it will not be comfortable.

1603
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,479
Speaker 3: Julie wanted to make sure that I went home to

1604
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,960
Speaker 3: check on her, which I said I would. When I

1605
01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 3: got back home to check on her, she was curled

1606
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 3: up in a ball on the couch and was just

1607
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:27,519
Speaker 3: staring off into space.

1608
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:30,719
Speaker 1: I could tell she had been crying. She was very.

1609
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:32,519
Speaker 3: Surprised that I was there, but then I told her

1610
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,840
Speaker 3: Julie called me and wanted me to check on her.

1611
01:11:35,320 --> 01:11:36,599
Speaker 1: She then started crying again.

1612
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 3: Since my job allows me a certain amount of freedom,

1613
01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:43,040
Speaker 3: I was able to stay home with her. Needless to say,

1614
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,320
Speaker 3: she is now very much afraid for her job. Even

1615
01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:48,519
Speaker 3: if she keeps the job, She's now the laughing stock

1616
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 3: of the office.

1617
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 1: This is what I mean.

1618
01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:55,839
Speaker 3: If they were mechanics or lumberjacks, this is just like Broski.

1619
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,439
Speaker 3: They're Brosky's. Oh see, you know what I mean. That's

1620
01:11:58,520 --> 01:11:58,960
Speaker 3: the vibue.

1621
01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 6: I'm here now the broskis.

1622
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,040
Speaker 3: You can't do Brosky activities in the office, no, because

1623
01:12:04,040 --> 01:12:06,599
Speaker 3: they're not really there's a separation there all I could

1624
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,439
Speaker 3: do was sit and listen and try to be as

1625
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:11,600
Speaker 3: sympathetic as I could be. I'm only saying this on

1626
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:13,599
Speaker 3: here because I won't say it to her. But why

1627
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,839
Speaker 3: the f were my feelings about this not as important

1628
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:18,760
Speaker 3: as her co workers? But again, I'm only venting this

1629
01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:20,599
Speaker 3: to you, guys, I won't say that to her. I'll

1630
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:23,639
Speaker 3: answer you it's because she really trusts you. Well, after

1631
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:26,280
Speaker 3: a while, she decided to take a nap and wanted

1632
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,360
Speaker 3: me to go back to work, which I did. I

1633
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:31,040
Speaker 3: called Julie and let her know she was okay. This

1634
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 3: is when Julie says that she wanted me to know

1635
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:35,400
Speaker 3: that she had nothing to do with what happened at

1636
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 3: the bar. She said that all evening long they were

1637
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:40,320
Speaker 3: just having fun, but one of the new girls from

1638
01:12:40,400 --> 01:12:43,600
Speaker 3: the office invited along the guys, and initially it was

1639
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:46,040
Speaker 3: all fun, but then when they got to the country bar,

1640
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:47,240
Speaker 3: she told my wife that they.

1641
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,920
Speaker 1: Ought to leave. By then, my wife was already pretty hammered.

1642
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:51,880
Speaker 3: She went to the bathroom, and when she came back,

1643
01:12:51,920 --> 01:12:53,879
Speaker 3: the new girl was dragging my wife to the stage

1644
01:12:54,040 --> 01:12:56,719
Speaker 3: with her for the contest. She also stated my wife

1645
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 3: did not take off her shirt and immediately put on

1646
01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:02,240
Speaker 3: another oversized shirt when she got off the stage. However,

1647
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:04,760
Speaker 3: she did want to war me that Dan from the

1648
01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:07,720
Speaker 3: photo was hitting on my wife very hard after that.

1649
01:13:08,520 --> 01:13:10,639
Speaker 3: He was the one staring at my wife's front airbags.

1650
01:13:11,120 --> 01:13:12,840
Speaker 3: He was wanting to give her a ride home, and

1651
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:16,960
Speaker 3: was being kinds of all hands. After that, she said,

1652
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:20,479
Speaker 3: it got so bad that eventually she and Sue, another coworker,

1653
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:22,280
Speaker 3: pretty much stepped in and told my wife they were

1654
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:22,920
Speaker 3: taking her home.

1655
01:13:23,720 --> 01:13:26,000
Speaker 6: Ah, there we go.

1656
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 3: Okay, so I think the ones who should be concerned

1657
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 3: about their employment are Dan and Bob and the new girl.

1658
01:13:33,479 --> 01:13:35,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's not cool at all.

1659
01:13:35,479 --> 01:13:39,920
Speaker 9: So she was very uncomfortable with the whole situations what

1660
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,840
Speaker 9: we're seeing here, didn't really want to participate, and was

1661
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:45,840
Speaker 9: not in a right mind. Yeah, so I would be

1662
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:49,599
Speaker 9: giving her grace on this end after learning this right here,

1663
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:52,000
Speaker 9: I wouldn't be giving her any more hard.

1664
01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:53,280
Speaker 1: Times, She said.

1665
01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:57,680
Speaker 3: My wife never really responded to him, but this was

1666
01:13:57,720 --> 01:14:00,320
Speaker 3: the most wasted they've ever seen her, and honestly, she

1667
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:02,800
Speaker 3: felt like they had not. She felt like had they

1668
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:04,920
Speaker 3: not taken her out of there, something might have happened

1669
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:07,840
Speaker 3: even if my wife didn't consent, which is horrific and

1670
01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:10,240
Speaker 3: get this guy out of the company. She said that

1671
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:13,200
Speaker 3: they her normal group of friends were pretty pissed at

1672
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:15,280
Speaker 3: the new girl and would not be inviting her to

1673
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:17,400
Speaker 3: future parties as each of them are married and do

1674
01:14:17,439 --> 01:14:19,880
Speaker 3: not want any kind of unneeded drama in their lives.

1675
01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:21,800
Speaker 1: If only my wife would have thought like this.

1676
01:14:22,760 --> 01:14:25,439
Speaker 3: However, she has also said that they were going to

1677
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:28,000
Speaker 3: tell my wife that they're changing their future plans to

1678
01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:32,160
Speaker 3: less exotic destinations. In all honesty, I got the feeling

1679
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:35,759
Speaker 3: that they were not happy with my wife at all. Well, anyway,

1680
01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:38,679
Speaker 3: here's where I sit now. Her job is in jeopardy

1681
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 3: because of this, which means that our family income is

1682
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:43,639
Speaker 3: in jeopardy. I make decent money, but losing her full

1683
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,559
Speaker 3: time job will hurt. If she does lose this job,

1684
01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:48,560
Speaker 3: there is no job like it in the community in

1685
01:14:48,600 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 3: which we have, meaning that she will have to commute

1686
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:54,200
Speaker 3: daily over thirty five miles one way. Not a big deal,

1687
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:57,000
Speaker 3: but that will certainly add to the time away. By

1688
01:14:57,080 --> 01:15:00,559
Speaker 3: the way, you can subtract from your time I'm away

1689
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:04,679
Speaker 3: from us by listening to the full episodes with stories

1690
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 3: just like this on Spotify, Apple Podcast, iHeartRadio wherever you

1691
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:15,320
Speaker 3: listen to stories, just search okay, story time, and you

1692
01:15:15,400 --> 01:15:17,080
Speaker 3: have the whole archive at your fingertips.

1693
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:20,040
Speaker 9: You have a little bit more story left here. They

1694
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:22,320
Speaker 9: fire her, you got to counter suit.

1695
01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:25,240
Speaker 3: The I was gonna say, it's like, now is the

1696
01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:28,160
Speaker 3: time where you get on your wife's side. You don't

1697
01:15:28,160 --> 01:15:29,840
Speaker 3: have to be like if only my wife had thought

1698
01:15:29,840 --> 01:15:31,640
Speaker 3: this way. Now that you know what, you know, you

1699
01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 3: need to be fully on.

1700
01:15:32,760 --> 01:15:37,360
Speaker 6: Her, So you've got to support her on bro. Yeah,

1701
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:38,280
Speaker 6: this is crazy.

1702
01:15:38,560 --> 01:15:42,240
Speaker 3: Everybody will have their own boundaries and and things that

1703
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 3: are okay and things that are not okay, and that's

1704
01:15:44,479 --> 01:15:47,160
Speaker 3: why you know, you need to communicate those in a relationship.

1705
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:50,240
Speaker 3: And I think that it's perfectly fine if Op was

1706
01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:55,439
Speaker 3: not comfortable with what his wife did, But the way

1707
01:15:55,479 --> 01:15:59,080
Speaker 3: he expressed it was like very much I feel overboard,

1708
01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:01,600
Speaker 3: And that is really the root of it for me.

1709
01:16:01,840 --> 01:16:02,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would.

1710
01:16:02,640 --> 01:16:05,599
Speaker 9: I would stop getting on your wife and go talk

1711
01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:06,400
Speaker 9: to Dan and Bob.

1712
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:09,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, talk, give him a little talking to.

1713
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:11,280
Speaker 6: Uh no, come on back.

1714
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:14,360
Speaker 3: No, Yes, I have no idea yet about the church

1715
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:16,880
Speaker 3: finding out about it. There are several people who work

1716
01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:19,400
Speaker 3: in that office that go to her church, so I'm

1717
01:16:19,439 --> 01:16:22,200
Speaker 3: almost certain they will find out about it. All of this,

1718
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:24,240
Speaker 3: while I still have not been able to deal with

1719
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,920
Speaker 3: my feelings on the issue. I've cooled off today and

1720
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:29,280
Speaker 3: I truly feel sorry for her and I hate for

1721
01:16:29,320 --> 01:16:32,400
Speaker 3: her to be in pain, but I still feel betrayed.

1722
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:35,160
Speaker 3: And now I feel as though my opinion on the

1723
01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:39,200
Speaker 3: matter didn't mean squat but coworkers meant more. I'm just

1724
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 3: going to play the supporting husband right now, as I

1725
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,920
Speaker 3: think it's the only thing I can do, but still

1726
01:16:43,960 --> 01:16:45,600
Speaker 3: feel the need to address this between us in the

1727
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,320
Speaker 3: future because I am not okay with her doing this

1728
01:16:49,040 --> 01:16:51,400
Speaker 3: and that's the end of that story.

1729
01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:54,519
Speaker 1: He sounds a little insecure, brother. I'm not even gonna lie.

1730
01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:57,120
Speaker 9: I don't get all his civilains out here for the

1731
01:16:57,160 --> 01:16:59,800
Speaker 9: world to see, but I do hint some insecurity. Someone said,

1732
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:02,080
Speaker 9: does this mean that the wife's cheating on this one too?

1733
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:04,720
Speaker 9: Uh No, The optics at first looked bad. Once you

1734
01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:07,719
Speaker 9: get the full context, right, It wasn't the white fault.

1735
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:11,080
Speaker 3: There was just one member of the group. A few

1736
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:13,320
Speaker 3: were instigating the bad behavior.

1737
01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:17,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, little little gremlins.

1738
01:17:16,080 --> 01:17:18,760
Speaker 3: And someone was feeding her drinks clearly because they were like,

1739
01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:21,120
Speaker 3: that was the most gone we had ever seen her.

1740
01:17:21,439 --> 01:17:25,160
Speaker 1: And good friends. Yeah, good friends in that story.

1741
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:25,799
Speaker 6: Good friends.

1742
01:17:25,840 --> 01:17:27,759
Speaker 9: And I need to talk to my mom this weekend

1743
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,960
Speaker 9: about some of the things that she's known in the past.