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Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi, guys, thanks for tuning in again.

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Speaker 1: I put something out there last week about what topics

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Speaker 1: you guys would want to speak on, and the number

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Speaker 1: one overwhelming response was addiction. So I am so excited

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Speaker 1: to announce that Cameron Douglas and Jason Waller both going

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Speaker 1: to be on the podcast today. Cameron wrote a book

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Speaker 1: called long Way Home. It is incredible. I'm on chapter

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Speaker 1: right now. It's like a page S Turner, Um, he

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Speaker 1: grew up. He talks about his struggles and the pressures

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Speaker 1: he felt growing up as you know, um Michael Douglas's son,

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Speaker 1: but also his years with addiction and being in prison.

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Speaker 1: And I am just so grateful that he is here

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Speaker 1: sharing his experience with us so that we can all

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Speaker 1: learn and grow from it. So please make sure that

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Speaker 1: any other topics you want us discuss, or any questions

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Speaker 1: that you have on this podcast or anything else that

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Speaker 1: we can dig into, email Teddy t at I Heart

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Speaker 1: radio dot com. Cameron's book, long Way Home, talks about

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Speaker 1: his struggles with drug addiction that resulted in multiple overdoses,

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Speaker 1: his proclivity to crime and violence, his criminal trials in

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Speaker 1: seven years in prison. Two of which were spent in

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Speaker 1: solitary confinement. Wow, thanks so much for coming in, Cameron.

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Speaker 1: I'm on chapter seven of your book. I got it

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Speaker 1: last week. I am. I can't even tell you well

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Speaker 1: as I'm reading it, I am. I have so many

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Speaker 1: more questions I need to ask, and so do my listeners.

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Speaker 1: So I'm so grateful that you're here. Can you give

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Speaker 1: us a little bit of background on what led you

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Speaker 1: to write the book and you know, some of your experience.

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Speaker 1: Um So that was It was kind of an interesting

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Speaker 1: process because my family has always been very private and

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Speaker 1: I've sort of always followed suit with that as best

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Speaker 1: as I could. Um But you know, my father kept

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Speaker 1: mentioning to me about, you know, possibly writing a book

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Speaker 1: about some of my experiences, and I was sort of

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Speaker 1: wrestling with the idea. I couldn't understand why exactly. Um So, basically,

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Speaker 1: I realized in the end that it was really the

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Speaker 1: the ultimate way of showing your love. You know. My

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Speaker 1: father and mother felt that I had a story to

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Speaker 1: tell and felt that maybe it could be useful, and

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Speaker 1: despite the fact that it would inevitably put some of

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Speaker 1: their past back in the light, they felt that it

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Speaker 1: was that it was that I had a story to tell.

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Speaker 1: So I think it was a very selfless, selfless act

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Speaker 1: of of love on on their behalf. But you know,

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Speaker 1: for me, once I kind of got over the initial

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Speaker 1: hump of of you know, getting around to writing the book,

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Speaker 1: it was it was an interesting journey. It was a

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Speaker 1: long journey. It took about four years to write the book. UM.

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Speaker 1: I started writing in about a year before I came home,

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Speaker 1: So I was still in prison when I started writing

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Speaker 1: the book UM and and a lot of people ask,

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Speaker 1: you know, if it was cathartic, and it was definitely that,

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Speaker 1: but it was also it was difficult, you know, because

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Speaker 1: I had to go back over my entire life, talked

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Speaker 1: to a lot of people that I hadn't spoken to

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Speaker 1: in years to try to really get an understanding of

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Speaker 1: what was going on. UM. But in the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, I found it to be very helpful. Gave

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Speaker 1: me a real perspective on on some of my decisions,

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Speaker 1: um and what led me to making those decisions, and

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Speaker 1: and in the end, trying to make something useful out

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Speaker 1: of all of that pain and wreckage that there was.

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Speaker 1: I I read that you started experimenting with drugs around

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Speaker 1: the age of thirteen around when did you kind of

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Speaker 1: realized wow, like this is this is something more serious?

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Speaker 1: Because something I often hear, especially from the younger generation,

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Speaker 1: especially from like an affluent younger generations, I'm just experimenting.

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Speaker 1: I'm in college, I'm just having fun. Like how do

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Speaker 1: you know yourself that things are going to that point?

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Speaker 1: But also how did the people around you in your

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Speaker 1: life know that they need to start taking action or

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Speaker 1: can they even take action? Well, I think there's, uh,

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Speaker 1: there's a fine line between partying hard and having a

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Speaker 1: good time and being a full blown addict. So I think,

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Speaker 1: I mean some telltale signs for oneself is like if

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Speaker 1: you're staying up for days on end, probably a red flag,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you know things like that, If if

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Speaker 1: your life is becoming unmanageable, it's probably a red flag.

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Speaker 1: I think that. I definitely think that you know, partying

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Speaker 1: and experimenting is is okay, and it's part of growing up. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I guess I guess the real indicator is when

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Speaker 1: your focus starts to be uh, really revolving around getting

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Speaker 1: high rather than leading a productive life. I think it's

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Speaker 1: really when you're probably in trouble and and and and

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Speaker 1: hopefully you can either have you know, the inside or

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Speaker 1: or or the wisdom. I think some souls are just

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Speaker 1: older souls and just have done this more times and

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Speaker 1: and get it quicker. Um some of us it takes

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Speaker 1: much longer, like myself, and some of us unfortunately never

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Speaker 1: get it. So and I know you talked a lot

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Speaker 1: about like the pressure of growing up with you know,

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Speaker 1: a famous parent and the pressures that you put on yourself.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that despite those pressures, like I I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm similar where I grew up with having, you know,

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Speaker 1: putting my own pressure on myself. But I kind of

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Speaker 1: went the opposite way where I was so scared to

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Speaker 1: try anything or do anything because if I were to

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Speaker 1: mess up, my parents had me sign a contract when

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Speaker 1: I came to California that said, Okay, if you get

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Speaker 1: any trouble, you have to move back to Indiana. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know what that is? That is

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Speaker 1: deatifying right there enough, But I never try anything. But

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Speaker 1: in you know, in turn, with that pressure, I kind

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Speaker 1: of became super anxious. I'm type A mostly D like

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Speaker 1: all of those things. So I think it can develop

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Speaker 1: itself in many different ways. But do you think that

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Speaker 1: regardless of your upbringing, that is something that would have

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Speaker 1: shown anyway. Well, listen, I think the first thing you

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Speaker 1: have to look at is is your genetics. You know,

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Speaker 1: does it run in your family? And if it does,

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Speaker 1: I think you need to be more aware. But you know,

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Speaker 1: back to your question and your point really is, I

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Speaker 1: didn't in all fairness, I can't sit here and say

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Speaker 1: that I had a lot of pressure heaped on me

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Speaker 1: by my family. I think I put a lot of

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Speaker 1: pressure on myself to try and live up to my

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Speaker 1: family's name. And I just found the way that I

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Speaker 1: felt that I was doing that was was destructive. Um.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think Look, I think we're we're every

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Speaker 1: one of us is dealt to hand in life and

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Speaker 1: it's and it's the way that we uh play that hand.

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Speaker 1: I certainly was never was always loved and cared for. Um,

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Speaker 1: I just had, you know, issues that I was wrestling

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Speaker 1: with and the way that I chose to deal with

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Speaker 1: those issues let down a pretty rough, rough path for me.

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Speaker 1: And to start, I mean, you did have a little

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Speaker 1: bit of access to money, do you think of right

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Speaker 1: from the beginning. I mean a lot of people are

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Speaker 1: writing in because their kids are you know, experimenting with drugs.

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Speaker 1: They're starting to worry it's going down a more aggressive

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Speaker 1: path and they're not knowing how to handle it. But

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Speaker 1: they love their kids. They want to take care of

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Speaker 1: their kids. But how do you know when to cut

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Speaker 1: them off or you know, the access to money? Is

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Speaker 1: that creating in a bigger monster? I think it's like this.

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Speaker 1: I mean depending on where. If you're dealing with somebody

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Speaker 1: that's you feel is struggling with addiction, I think you

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Speaker 1: have to really take a good hard look at you know,

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Speaker 1: where they are exactly in their journey, and I think, um,

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Speaker 1: there does come a point where you do have to

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Speaker 1: sort of let go and and let them find their

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Speaker 1: way hopefully. But until that point, I think you personally,

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Speaker 1: I think you should try to do everything you can

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Speaker 1: do in your power to uh to to help them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I was also reading you know through a lot

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Speaker 1: of it, you would have either, Um, there was aaron

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Speaker 1: in your book that was by your side for a

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Speaker 1: long time. And do you think that now in retrospect,

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Speaker 1: do you think, Wow, if if she would have cut

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Speaker 1: ties with me earlier, things would have been different, or

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Speaker 1: if this person would have cut me off completely or

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Speaker 1: do you think it wouldn't have mattered. I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: looking back on everything, I think one thing that really

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Speaker 1: would have been helpful to me had I been open

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Speaker 1: to it, was it was therapy. HAD had many opportunities

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Speaker 1: to to work with therapists as a as a young man,

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Speaker 1: and it was always just you know, really closed off

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Speaker 1: to it and not open to it at all. Of course,

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Speaker 1: now I worked with a therapist on a regular basis

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Speaker 1: and I find it to be extremely helpful, UM, And

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Speaker 1: so I think that's one thing for sure that maybe

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Speaker 1: would have made a difference. It's hard to pinpoint any

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Speaker 1: little details or relationships. I think. You know, it's funny

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Speaker 1: because your parents always love you, and the people that

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Speaker 1: are closest to you love you, and they try to

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Speaker 1: when you're starting to go down this road. They like

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Speaker 1: to point the finger at everyone else being a bad influence.

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Speaker 1: But the truth is I was a bad influence on

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Speaker 1: everybody else. So you know, it's just, uh, I don't

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Speaker 1: know everybody has I like think maybe that that maybe

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Speaker 1: we all have a journey and and some of the uh,

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Speaker 1: the experiences that we go through is necessary for UM

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Speaker 1: helping us to become equipped to lead the life that

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Speaker 1: we're meant to to lead. Uh, that's maybe optimistic, But

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Speaker 1: who knows. What what do you think was I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know this is crazy question, but what do you

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Speaker 1: think was harder? Like when you were in the throes

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Speaker 1: of addiction and overdosing or being in jail and solitary confinement. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean they they are both prisons, you know in

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Speaker 1: a sense. You know, one is is is a prison

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Speaker 1: of your own making through addiction, just like a ball

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Speaker 1: and chain around your ankle and um. And that's that's difficult,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's it's a choice two that that you're making.

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Speaker 1: And and a lot of it is miserable. And that's

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Speaker 1: the insanity of addiction. I think a lot of addicts

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Speaker 1: struggle with is that they just they're so unhappy with

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Speaker 1: what's going on in their lives, but they just can't

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Speaker 1: let go for whatever reason. One maybe that's what they

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Speaker 1: count on for a little bit of relief for you

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Speaker 1: know too, they've been doing it so long that that's

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Speaker 1: all they know. Um. And then prison is a whole

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Speaker 1: different animal that's just thrust upon you. And and for me,

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Speaker 1: I had really no experience or no idea what I

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Speaker 1: was in store for so the learning curve for me

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Speaker 1: was very sharp there to say the least. Um, and

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Speaker 1: what was solitary confinement like, because you were there for

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Speaker 1: almost two years? Correct, I was it was Well, I

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Speaker 1: will say that it's amazing, h with the human It's

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Speaker 1: amazing how humans can adapt to more any situation one

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Speaker 1: and and two I learned the amazing will that a

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Speaker 1: human has to survive. Um. So, yeah, it's solitary, that's

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Speaker 1: a that's a whole another topic that I feel strongly

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Speaker 1: about because I've had my own personal experiences with it.

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Speaker 1: But it's, uh, it's it's it's a necessary tool sure

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Speaker 1: for for for prisons to to monitor the safety of

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Speaker 1: someone or the safety of individuals around that person, but

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Speaker 1: it needs to be implemented in the short term. These days,

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Speaker 1: they they just tossed you in there and they and

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Speaker 1: they leave you there really for you know, for not

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Speaker 1: a good reason. And it's uh, you can make things worse, well,

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Speaker 1: I think. I mean, look, it's like if you put

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Speaker 1: somebody in a cement box the size of an elevator

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Speaker 1: um for a long period of time, does that make

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Speaker 1: them less angry? No? Make them more stable? No? You know,

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Speaker 1: what I mean, it's just you could just go down

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Speaker 1: the list and realize it's not really going to be helpful.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's I mean, that's not up for debate.

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Speaker 1: What's what's up for debate is is when are they

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Speaker 1: going to start making these necessary reforms? Because the reality

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Speaker 1: is in this I can also speak from experience, is

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Speaker 1: our prison industrial complex in this country is not um

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Speaker 1: it's not it's not made to reform individuals. It's it's

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Speaker 1: made to break them down. And and during your your

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Speaker 1: your time in prison, you're treated like an animal. And

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Speaker 1: what happens when you're treated like an animal for for

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Speaker 1: a long period of time, you start acting like an

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Speaker 1: animal and then one day you get you get kicked

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Speaker 1: out the door and you and you move in next

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Speaker 1: door to a regular, tax paying, law abiding citizens. So

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Speaker 1: it's like they need to do a better job of

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Speaker 1: turning out men and women that are that are reformed. Right,

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Speaker 1: And you talk a lot about like, um, I don't like,

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Speaker 1: I don't like to the little womanizing or fighting or

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Speaker 1: any of those things. Do you think that all goes

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Speaker 1: hand in hand in hand with addiction or do you

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Speaker 1: think they're all kind of separate things? That have to

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Speaker 1: be worked on, or or once the drugs are gone,

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Speaker 1: the other things go away as well. Well. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've never considered myself a womanizer. I mean

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Speaker 1: I am kind of like a I guess, a romantic

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Speaker 1: at hard not maybe womanizer. Maybe that was the other

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Speaker 1: person I had on wording. Sorry, but but you had

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Speaker 1: said you were with multiple people at one time, but

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Speaker 1: you would keep certain girlfriends around. I did, I did

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Speaker 1: go through. I did, Yes, I I I. So what

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Speaker 1: happened is is I had a I had a really

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Speaker 1: rough relationship for a number of years, um, and when

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Speaker 1: her and I finally parted ways, I told myself that

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't allow myself to be in an another relationship

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Speaker 1: until I was completely ready for it. And I did

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Speaker 1: this because I didn't like the lies that I was

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Speaker 1: telling when I was in this relationship. I didn't like

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Speaker 1: the behavior, the guilt that I felt for not acting

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Speaker 1: properly in this relationship. So I just did that as

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Speaker 1: a kind of a way to to stop, yeah and

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Speaker 1: just you know, live honestly. Um. But maybe it didn't

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Speaker 1: didn't come across that way. I don't know, No, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know. I M sorry. About the wording UM. And

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Speaker 1: then also I am on as I said, chapter so,

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Speaker 1: I am at the part where you've started using heroin

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Speaker 1: again in the in the prison. How do you ultimately

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Speaker 1: get clean without ruining the without ruining the book? But

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Speaker 1: for our listeners like, how did that actually happen? And

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Speaker 1: then how are you able to stay well? So for me,

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Speaker 1: getting clean was was an evolution in prison. I certainly

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Speaker 1: didn't get lean right away. My my prison sojourn was

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Speaker 1: was atypical, to say the least. I I started, I

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Speaker 1: started my journey out a minimum security prison and I

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Speaker 1: and I worked my way diligently up to a high

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Speaker 1: security prison, which is where I ended up doing most

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Speaker 1: of my time. And that's not the way it's supposed

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Speaker 1: to work, supposed to work your way down, you know.

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Speaker 1: But I had a difficult time adjusting UM. And but

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Speaker 1: the turning point for me was UH, when I was

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Speaker 1: given my second sentence, which basically doubled my sentence. It

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Speaker 1: turned a five year sentence into a ten year sentence.

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Speaker 1: And UH, and I came back from the sentencing and

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Speaker 1: I was in the box at that time. I was

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Speaker 1: in they call it solitary confinements and you can't go

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Speaker 1: out at all. You couldn't even work out anymore at

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Speaker 1: this point. Oh no, you you have to work out,

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Speaker 1: work out in my cell, but in your cell you

284
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Speaker 1: couldn't even go but not nothing else you have. So

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Speaker 1: the way it's supposed to work is you get one

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Speaker 1: hour a day, uh in the outdoors. But what that

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Speaker 1: is is it's it's one hour a day in another

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Speaker 1: cement box with a cage over the top, and you

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Speaker 1: can see the sky. But it's it's not it's not

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Speaker 1: like being outside. It's just kind of having some fresh air,

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Speaker 1: which is nice. Um. But you know, the exercise was

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Speaker 1: was important for me through throughout. That was one of

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Speaker 1: the cornerstones, um of my routine. And the routine is

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Speaker 1: really what helped me get through it and make it

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Speaker 1: necessary changes. Um. But back to you, you know how

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Speaker 1: really I got sober? How it began anyways, was I

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Speaker 1: arrived back to my cell and there was just there

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Speaker 1: had been a riot in uh in the in that unit,

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Speaker 1: in the special housing unit they called the shoe um.

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Speaker 1: And guys when they riote, they'll plug their toilets and

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Speaker 1: they'll just they'll overflow the cell with water. And so

302
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Speaker 1: I arrived to my cell, and there was like four

303
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Speaker 1: inches of water on the ground, and you don't have shells.

304
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Speaker 1: So all my books, all my pictures, all my letters,

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Speaker 1: everything was just like ruined, soaking wet, and I and

306
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Speaker 1: I walked in the cell, I took my handcuffs off,

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Speaker 1: and and I just felt something inside of me kind

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Speaker 1: of cracking or breaking, and and and I felt at

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Speaker 1: that moment that I had two paths left open to me.

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Speaker 1: And one path would have been one that I probably

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Speaker 1: would not have made it back from. And the other

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Speaker 1: path was one that gave me a little bit of purpose,

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Speaker 1: a little bit of light. In that moment, which was

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Speaker 1: I came up with the idea that I would try

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Speaker 1: to make each day count towards putting myself in the

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Speaker 1: best possible position and to to make a life for

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Speaker 1: myself when I was finally released. And so I found

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Speaker 1: that that started working for him. You know. It got

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Speaker 1: me out of the rack every morning, got me motivated

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Speaker 1: to you, built a little curriculum for myself. Um and slowly,

321
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Speaker 1: slowly I started getting stronger. I started realizing that indeed

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Speaker 1: I did have these traits like discipline and drive that

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Speaker 1: I thought I just inherently wasn't born. Yeah, exactly, just

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Speaker 1: started building myself and uh, and then and then basically

325
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Speaker 1: a couple of years down the line, I'm I'm feeling good, strong, focused,

326
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Speaker 1: I feel like I have, you know, my priorities in

327
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Speaker 1: the right order. But I'm still dabbling and dabbling with

328
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Speaker 1: with heroin from time to time, and and uh, and

329
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Speaker 1: then I reached a point where I just couldn't rationalize anymore. Uh,

330
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Speaker 1: my heroin, use with you telling myself. I was doing

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Speaker 1: everything I could do to put myself in the best

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Speaker 1: position when I was finally released. So finally I was

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Speaker 1: able to give that up. I'd say that's probably about

334
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Speaker 1: three three years before I came home. And then when

335
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Speaker 1: did you meet? Um, I know you have a daughter,

336
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Speaker 1: So when did you meet your significant other? And how

337
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 1: did that happen? And you know, so so that's a

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Speaker 1: funny story. Actually, so I meant, Vivian is my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and the mother of my daughter, and and uh and

340
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Speaker 1: we lived together and and so I met Vivian probably

341
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Speaker 1: fifteen years ago here in l A. She was she

342
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Speaker 1: was she was modeling it at a runway show. And

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Speaker 1: you know, they do like these wacky kind of themes something.

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Speaker 1: So part of her costume was she had this huge

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Speaker 1: blue afro and I after the show, I was backstage

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Speaker 1: and I was talking to her and we were trying

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Speaker 1: to have a serious conversation, and I just couldn't get

348
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Speaker 1: over that huge blue After us, I told her, I said, look,

349
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Speaker 1: I'm trying to take you seriously, but the hair is difficult.

350
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Speaker 1: But then we we stayed friends for a while after that.

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Speaker 1: Both of us were in a very different place at

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Speaker 1: that point in our lives. And and then I didn't

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Speaker 1: see her for for years. And then a few years

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Speaker 1: before I came home, I got a letter from her

355
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Speaker 1: and she had, you know, gone through a lot of

356
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Speaker 1: changes in her life, and and we started writing each

357
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Speaker 1: other letters. Because I didn't have my phone privileges at

358
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Speaker 1: the time, and getting to know each other like that

359
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Speaker 1: kind of getting to know somebody right like it was

360
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Speaker 1: just kind of I didn't I didn't know her in

361
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Speaker 1: this way. And so and then at the time we

362
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Speaker 1: we got back in contact, my my visitation privileges were

363
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Speaker 1: also I didn't have those, and so it was about

364
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Speaker 1: a year and a half till I was getting those backs.

365
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Speaker 1: We had about a year and a half to just

366
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Speaker 1: write letters. Uh, and then when I got those backs,

367
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 1: she came to visit and she basically, you know, was

368
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Speaker 1: there waiting for me when I was released from prison.

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Speaker 1: And then we had a little girl, see, not even

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Speaker 1: a year after I came home. So she's been been great.

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Speaker 1: My daughter's it's amazing. She's probably or is definitely my

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Speaker 1: biggest teacher in life right now. Um So it's it's

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel really blessed these days, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean I've obviously, you know, I've been well here, lucky.

375
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Speaker 1: I'm fortunate to say that. You know, when I came home,

376
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Speaker 1: I was able to really still dig in and stay

377
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Speaker 1: disciplined and really you know, work at building a life

378
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Speaker 1: for myself. Finished this book, I've been working on acting

379
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Speaker 1: and screenplay writing, and everything is starting to come together.

380
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Speaker 1: So that's what was gonna ask about acclimating back into society.

381
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Speaker 1: And because I have a listener question that was directly

382
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: for you, it was Cameron, my son has been struggling

383
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Speaker 1: with an addiction to heroin for ten years and he's

384
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Speaker 1: currently incarcerated and will be released on December two. My

385
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 1: husband and our four other children are in panic mode.

386
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Speaker 1: We want him to go into a sober living community

387
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Speaker 1: for a year while he finishes his parle. But he

388
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: is refusing to. I am paralyzed because I'm afraid he

389
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: will die. He has no plan and he needs to

390
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 1: learn coping skills and participate in therapy. Any help would

391
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: be greatly appreciated. Well, so depending on how I mean,

392
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 1: I don't know what his what his legal situation is,

393
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: but he should be mandated to go into a halfway house.

394
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: He's done a little bit of time, um, and that

395
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: can be very helpful. It's look, when you're in prison,

396
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 1: the last thing you want to think about doing is

397
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Speaker 1: going into a halfway house when you're released. But it is, Uh,

398
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: the adjustment is it's not easy and and and I

399
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: can vouch for that. I'm I'm somebody who thought it

400
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: was gonna be nice and smooth, and it was very

401
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 1: difficult for me. So so I think that hopefully her son,

402
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: and you probably won't like me saying this, but hopefully

403
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 1: her son will have to go into a halfway house,

404
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: and I think that'll be helpful. But the truth is, Teddy,

405
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: which is you know what I was telling you is

406
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: that there comes a point where you know, sometimes a

407
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: person is so far along in their journey in their

408
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 1: addiction that there's nothing that you can do except for

409
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: just hope and pray that they find their way. And

410
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: you have to take a little bit of the pressure

411
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 1: off yourself and off your family, because that's the that's

412
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 1: the cold hard reality of this thing. And do you

413
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: think in that case, like an ultimatum works or is

414
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: that just going to put you know, could he possibly

415
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: be saying he doesn't want to go in because he

416
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 1: just wants to get home and use sure, I mean,

417
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: that's probably what it is. If if he doesn't even

418
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 1: realize that, um, that's that you know, that addict sort

419
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: of it's it's it's crafty. But you know, I think

420
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 1: at this point, I mean, he's in prison, and he's

421
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: obviously he's been doing this for ten years. It's a

422
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: long time to be doing heroin. It's not an easy

423
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: habit to you to keep up and running. So I mean,

424
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sorry to say, but you know, I think

425
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: he's probably just going to have to and maybe he

426
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: is already at that point where he's ready to to

427
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,360
Speaker 1: to change something. So hopefully that's, uh, that's what they're

428
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: gonna find when he comes home. Yeah. Um, so since

429
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 1: you have been out and now that you're doing all

430
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: these positive things, what are some other tools that we

431
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: could give listeners? You know, of course that's great that

432
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: you've been able to find your y and all of

433
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: those things and work hard. But for somebody who's struggling

434
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: to even get to that point, yeah, what could you?

435
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: What could you share? So so, I, in my opinion,

436
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 1: and for me, my routine is is extremely important. So

437
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: I think you have to have an iron clad routine

438
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 1: that works for you and stick to it. So my

439
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: the cornerstone of my routine is is is meditation and

440
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: and exercise. So that's sort of the cornerstone. And then

441
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 1: I build around that, right and and and so I

442
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: think that success and I'm trying to think because happiness

443
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: is not but I think, you know, success and fulfillment

444
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 1: I think really comes through having your priorities in the

445
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: right order and having the discipline to follow through on

446
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: those priorities. So so your routine will help you do that,

447
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: you know, And then you just have to, in my opinion,

448
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: you have to take a good hard look at you know,

449
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: what your priorities really are. Are they healthy? And then

450
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: and then really dig in and fall through on on

451
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: what it takes to to see those priorities work fruition.

452
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,479
Speaker 1: Another big question is how do you bring addiction up

453
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: in a constructive manner when they always get defensive. I mean,

454
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: I think the best way to do it is not

455
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: by beating around the bush. I think if you if

456
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: there's somebody that you care about and you see them,

457
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: you know, really struggling and you have X, Y and

458
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: Z reason why, I think you should just lay that

459
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: out on the table and have a talk with him

460
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: and say, look, we think you're messed up. This is

461
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: why we think you're messed up, and you know what,

462
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 1: tell me why we're wrong kind of thing. I mean

463
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,880
Speaker 1: from my reading your book, there was a part that

464
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: a couple of times where the most frustrated you ever

465
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: seemed was when you thought you were going to do

466
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: something and you were tricked into something else. Yeah, I

467
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: mean me personally. I Uh, That's why I say to you,

468
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: I think I think being upfront is really the best,

469
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: the best way, you know, and it really just like

470
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: sit down with the person that you care are about

471
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 1: enough to sit down and have this conversation with and

472
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 1: have a real heart to heart. One other question, um,

473
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: somebody wrote in I'm on the road to recovery, but

474
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: relapse is one of the hardest forms of shame for

475
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,160
Speaker 1: me to carry. How do I let go of that?

476
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: That's a good question, and that's that's an issue that

477
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: I still wrestle with myself. UM. I mean I have,

478
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: I have a lot of guilt and shame surrounding UM

479
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: many years of my life. And and it's interesting because

480
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: it's it's it's there. So I'm I'm learning now how

481
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: to start to let let go of that, UM. And

482
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: you know, I think for me when I start, you know,

483
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: filling that guilt and shame a little stronger than usual.

484
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: I tried to, you know, I tried to just let

485
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: myself know. I mean, look, no, nobody knows ourselves better

486
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: than ourselves, right, So if you know that you're doing

487
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: your best and that's all you can do. Uh, and

488
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: if other people are willing to forgive you, then you

489
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: need to be willing to forgreak yourself. Well, I we

490
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: have to take a break. But thank you so much

491
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: for sharing and being so vulnerable. I know that even

492
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: reading your book, and I know how many lives you're changing,

493
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: and so Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you

494
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: for having me. Hi, Jason, how are you. I'm good,

495
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: How are you good? Thanks so much for coming on today.

496
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Well, thanks for having me. I'm

497
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: excited to be a part of it. Well, I have been,

498
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: you know, I've been researching you a lot the last

499
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: couple of days that I'm you know, blown away with

500
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: all the work you've done with um your sober living

501
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 1: facility because a lot of our listeners that is a

502
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: huge question that they're asking, is you know, my kid,

503
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 1: my honor, my son or my husband. You know, this

504
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: has changed and they don't want to go into a

505
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: sober living facility. And I was just kind of wanted

506
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: to start with that and how important that is. Well,

507
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: I just I'm more than happy to discuss that. I

508
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 1: wanted to let you know I am no longer actually

509
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,959
Speaker 1: doing the sober living stuff. I'm very involved with aftercare

510
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: and all those components, but my actual will we actually

511
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: stopped doing the aftercare piece. What I wish we did it.

512
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 1: It is still very very important and it's something that

513
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: is is much needed, but I've directed my, you know,

514
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: my efforts into a much more advocacy role much feel

515
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: like it would be a much It's much more impertinent

516
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: to be able to do stuff like that. But I'm

517
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: more than happy to talk about anything related to you,

518
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 1: substance to be, mental health, recovery, whatever you want to

519
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: talk about. So perfect Well, I guess let's just start

520
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: then with how are you doing currently? Honestly, if things

521
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 1: are any better, I'd be in heaven. I mean, I

522
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: I'm living my best life. You know, I've I've been

523
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 1: able to really achieve balance in my life. I'm able

524
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: to live in the moment, be pre event, got an

525
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: amazing family, an amazing wife, uh, and really making an impact,

526
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: you know, on people's lives that struggle with this disease.

527
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: And it's something that you know, I really found my

528
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: passion through through recovery. It's just been it's incredible. I mean,

529
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, There's been its ups and down

530
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: through the way, you know, through the process, but overall, Um,

531
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: you know, things are absolutely incredible right now. Um, do

532
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: you feel like it's still a struggle every day? I

533
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,719
Speaker 1: had um Cameron Douglas on right before you, and we

534
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: were talking about how he's able to remain sober and

535
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: he was saying a huge part for him is a

536
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: routine and that's what corrects him, you know, you know,

537
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: for lack of better words, accountable to feeling good. Um,

538
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: is that similar case for you? Well, by the way,

539
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: I love Cameron, great guy, great story, by the way,

540
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: But I mean this isn't this is not alcohol was Um,

541
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: it's alcoholism, right, So I mean it's something we have

542
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: to work on on a daily basis. And to his point,

543
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: you know, I do have a every single morning I

544
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: wake up, you know, I do a morning meditation, I

545
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: do a prayer, I send out a gratitude list to

546
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: it's ten other individuals of three things that I'm grateful for.

547
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 1: Not only what I'm grateful for, but why because the

548
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: wise were the meat really lies to help you understand

549
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: that not only do you have a lot to be

550
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 1: grateful for, you that you actually have more than you need. Uh.

551
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: And then either I go to the gym or I

552
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: go to a meeting. Uh. And that's how I start

553
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: my day off every single day. Don't steer away from it,

554
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 1: because you know, when I was active in my addiction,

555
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: it was something that I worked on seven to remain

556
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: high and under the influence, and when you are sober,

557
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: you have the same effort in to maintain or maintain sobriety.

558
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: It's so crazy that regardless of what what it is

559
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: in life, if it's an addiction or depression or anxiety,

560
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: following a routine is what actually always makes you feel better.

561
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: But it's the one thing you really don't want to

562
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: do it. It's it's what do they say, it's much harder.

563
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: It's much easier to break. Uh, it's much harder to

564
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: break a bad happiten, it is a good one, right,

565
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: But I think it's in this in this world that

566
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: we live in today, we're so prone to instant gratification,

567
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 1: you know, where there's so much influence out there, and

568
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: I think a routine really draws you closer to self,

569
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 1: so you can actually identify who you are and what

570
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,959
Speaker 1: it is that you're wanting to pursue. And that's what

571
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: I've gotten out of a routine is really self identification

572
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: of me. I've got the best part about sobriety for

573
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: me is I've got to know I got to know

574
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: myself because for so many years I didn't know who

575
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: I was. I was so lost, Uh, you know, and

576
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: I had no, of course, of what direction I wanted

577
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: to take when I was under the influence that robbed

578
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: me of everything that was important to me. Um And

579
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: you know, through sobriety and in recovery, uh, it's allotted

580
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 1: me to get to know self and really pursue the

581
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: things that I really love and enjoy. And something else

582
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: that I was talking to Cameron about that I wasn't

583
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 1: sure if it would resonate with you as well. We

584
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: were talking about having like you were on the Laguda

585
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: Beach or the hills when all of this started, right,

586
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 1: so you had a lot of you had the financial

587
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: ability to be able to do these things, And I

588
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,479
Speaker 1: was saying out the same thing kind of went with Cameron.

589
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: Do you think if you had less money it would

590
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 1: have been less prevalent in your life or do you

591
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 1: think it wouldn't have mattered You would have figured it out? No,

592
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: it would have. I mean, at the end of the day,

593
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: wouldn't have mattered. I mean I came from a very

594
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,959
Speaker 1: successful family, if you will, I came, but I also

595
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: came from somebody, you know. I came from a solid

596
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: foundation of of you know, I had good morals, good values,

597
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 1: was raised right, had parents who were unbelievable. I mean,

598
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: definitely the same added fuel to the fire. But ultimately,

599
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: before any of that stuff happened, I mean I can

600
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: even identify when I was thirteen or fourteen years old,

601
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 1: without having to utilize subs, substances or drugs, I noticed

602
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: that I had, you know, underlying issues, whether that was

603
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 1: self or self esteem, uh, you know, and many other things.

604
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: The question anxiety. I struggled with O c D at

605
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: a very young age, and all those things kind of compelled,

606
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: but there was nothing. There was not resources or outlets

607
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: to be able to talk about that. Even just you know,

608
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,479
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago. Uh, compared to where we're at today,

609
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: I mean, we've progressed so much more, and you know,

610
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 1: just being able to reach out today versus back then

611
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: is in a totally different spot. Uh. You know. The

612
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: money piece definitely, you know, I mean it made things,

613
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: it it heightened it, But I mean at the end

614
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 1: of the day, that wasn't the core issue. And a

615
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: lot of questions were coming in that, you know, they

616
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: have somebody who's struggling with addiction that as in their

617
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: life and they are every time they try to talk

618
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 1: to them. The person is super defensive. So now they're

619
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 1: feeling deflated, like is there a kind of like how

620
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: to or is there any kind of or information that

621
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: you can share with those out there they're struggling to

622
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 1: communicate with that person in their life. That's a very

623
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: very good question. I think at the end of the

624
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: day is is people need to get educated on on

625
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 1: the disease of addiction, right. I mean, there is no

626
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: such thing as recreational use of heroin or meth or

627
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: drinking a bottle of vaka they or you know, snorting

628
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, taking a bunch of valume or benzos, whatever,

629
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: whatever your drug it's choice is. So I think it's understanding.

630
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: You know, addiction does not dictate who we are, but

631
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: it does not justify our actions. And I think it's

632
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: imperative that people approach us and it's like any other

633
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: disease that you know that this is it's got to

634
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 1: come from love. It's got to come you know, with

635
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 1: with compassion and understanding, and you know, because it's it's

636
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 1: somebody that's gotta wake up every day and utilize one

637
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 1: of those drugs to get through their day. Obviously they're

638
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 1: in a very bad spot. So I think it's it's

639
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 1: really coming from it with with love is a big

640
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,439
Speaker 1: piece of it. But also, uh, setting boundaries and knowing

641
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: when you're contributing to to when you're benefiting somebody versus

642
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: when you're causing more harm, because that's a big factor

643
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: in this is wherever there's an alcoholic or an addict,

644
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: there's a codependent, and sometimes they're just as sick, if

645
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 1: not sicker, meaning that they you know, like for example,

646
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: my parents many times kept throwing pillows. They were literally

647
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: loving me to death when I should have fallen. And

648
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: you know, again is when I was willing to get

649
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 1: support or get help to be able to be there

650
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 1: and support me, whether that's your friends, family, whatever it

651
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: may be. But also when I'm in a place where

652
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: I'm not wanting to do that. You don't want to

653
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 1: enable negative behavior. So how do you know if you're

654
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: enabling versus actually being helpful. I think it's setting it's

655
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: clear line boundaries with it is is setting up, and

656
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: it's it's getting Sometimes you have to get clear cut

657
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: direction from individuals as well, because that's the thing is

658
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: this disease is so multifaceted, right that sometimes it's it's

659
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 1: imperative you get outside counsel with this, because when you

660
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 1: have it, when you're just a mom and a dad

661
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,479
Speaker 1: trying to play you know, the mother or the father

662
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: figure to your son or daughter or whatever role it

663
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: may be, it's outside your scope. It's just like when

664
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: you're dealing with somebody that has cancer, You're you're you're

665
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: trying to do as much as you can to get

666
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 1: them to the right place right And I think sometimes

667
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,120
Speaker 1: that's that's the place where it's it's it's if you're

668
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: a spot when it's that deep and you don't know

669
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 1: if you're contributing more harm or good. I would highly

670
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 1: advise that you seek outside help to really help you

671
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 1: with that. And that's because it's it's they want their

672
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,800
Speaker 1: mom or dad or whatever the relationship to be, to

673
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: have that support from that person, not trying to be

674
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: the professional. Well I had read, um, I think you

675
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: were arrested something like eighteen times. That accurate a lot,

676
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 1: a lot a lot of times. What was your final

677
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: like actual uh you're breaking point? When were you like

678
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 1: I'm done? I mean I know there's been a relapse,

679
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: but I what was that point? And what do you

680
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: think is is a way that Yeah, go ahead, I

681
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 1: call that my moment of clarity, right where I really

682
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: identified and surrendered to the disease and that I admitted

683
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: that I had a problem, that I was willing to

684
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: get help. Uh. You know, because this for people that

685
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 1: don't know my story from you know, the ages of

686
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 1: seventeen to years old, I went to fourteen different treatment

687
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 1: centers from Florida, Hawaii, every state between, you know, as

688
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 1: arrested multiple times. Uh. You know, obviously went through a

689
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: very public battle with addiction. And what that led me

690
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: to is is all those times and we can talk

691
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: about you know, going to those different treatments and all

692
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: those things. They instill different things along the way, but

693
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: the biggest thing is that I was not willing or

694
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: motivated during that time. And what really transitioned is, you know,

695
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 1: addiction not only took me to the deaths of contemplating suicide,

696
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: but actually attempting. So I was at a spot where

697
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: I had I was not wanting to live any further. Um,

698
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: and this draw me back into a spot where I

699
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: was actually in the therapist office yet again with my

700
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 1: mom and dad. Um and my parents who play a

701
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: very pivotal role in our lives. Uh. You know, my

702
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: dad somebody that I look up to a lot um

703
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: and I've never seen him break down before, but I'll

704
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: never forget. In two thousand ten of July, uh you know,

705
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: he sat there across uh for me and my mom

706
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: in the therapist and you get just go, look, we

707
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: don't know what we're gonna do anymore. Um, you know,

708
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: we're lost. Uh you know, our marriage is suffering. Uh,

709
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: you know, and we're like two planks of wood waiting

710
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: for the phone call that you're dead. And like when

711
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: he said that, when he you know, painted that picture

712
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 1: of them waiting, being a lane in beds waiting, you know,

713
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: like two planks of wood waiting for the phone call

714
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: and I'm dead. Whatever it was, there was some form

715
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: of There was just a moment of clarity. Like I said,

716
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 1: I was in a spot where I had no motivation

717
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: to want to do this for myself. And I don't

718
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: want to sound contradicting, because my parents were the motivating

719
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: factor for me to have some form of willingness, which

720
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: translated into me being able to obtain recovery and really surrendering. Um.

721
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: So that was that moment when I kind of like

722
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 1: something click. A light came off on and I said, look,

723
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: I know I don't care enough about myself to do this,

724
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: but my parents and family and close friends became my

725
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: motivating factor. And that's what you know. It's transcended into

726
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 1: multiple months of sobriety for that reason. And then over time,

727
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: after I actively arrested disease, after I got stabilized, uh,

728
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 1: and it was really living a life and recovery. It

729
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: became something that I actually wanted. And that's the thing

730
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people that understand is is

731
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: when somebody is active in their addiction, they don't they

732
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: lose the right to make their own decisions. They are

733
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: not thinking correctly. The way that somebody's frontal cortex operates,

734
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: which is your your executive functioning skills in your brain

735
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 1: does not work. And that's why there's got to be

736
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 1: a disruption to this process. Whether it's through and you know, intervention,

737
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: or whether it's people getting arrested or something that's major's

738
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: got to happen because they're not thinking correctly. And like

739
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 1: I said, being I was not in the clear state

740
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: of mind going to this therapy session. It was really

741
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: kind of like a come to Jesus if you will,

742
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what direction we're going to take.

743
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: But it was that moment where you know, I saw

744
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: them being very vulnerable. Uh. And for me it was

745
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: a Godshop moment because that's that's the moment that changed

746
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 1: my life for the better. And I have a lot

747
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: of younger listeners, and I was overwhelmed with how many

748
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: people wrote in you know, I'm sick of this person

749
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 1: asking me if I'm struggling in addiction. I I love

750
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: to go and party and I'm just hanging out with

751
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,919
Speaker 1: chicks and I want to do that. You know, it

752
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 1: became like it's this big social thing and they're kind

753
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: of defensive about it and they're wanting to know how

754
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: to get these people off their back. But my question is,

755
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: how do you know if you're in that stage where

756
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: you're telling yourself, I'm just having fun, I'm parting recreationally

757
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: that like, no, you you probably have a problem. Well, look,

758
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: I mean something that I go by is personally is

759
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: there's no normality and escaping reality. Right. But for those

760
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: that are out there, because I'm not against people that

761
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: can enjoy and have recreational use and enjoy it themselves,

762
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 1: but I look at it. If if I look at addiction,

763
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 1: whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, food, whatever it is.

764
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: If whatever it is you're struggling with is derailing you

765
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: from your hitting your ultimate goals, that's knocking you off

766
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: balance of where you want to be in life, it's

767
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: something to identify with, right And do you think you

768
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: could even A lot of the time you hear, oh, well,

769
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I want to do in life,

770
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 1: so this is fine, this suits me for now. You

771
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 1: do hear that. But at the end of the day,

772
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: it's it's you're not giving yourself the best best opportunity

773
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: to reach your fullest potential when you're under the influence. Uh.

774
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: And I think again, is is what are you taking?

775
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: What you know and how often you're using I mean,

776
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: there's so many different studies and statistics that are out

777
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,839
Speaker 1: there that you know, doctors are's actually evidence based, you know,

778
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 1: things that are coming out today. You can actually take

779
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: a test to see, you know, I mean, you can

780
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: take a test to see if you struggle with substance

781
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: abuse or alcoholism. There's different things out there. Oh there,

782
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that. That's amazing. Yes, So what

783
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: I can do is after this, I'll send you. You know,

784
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: there's specific there's twelve questions on being an alcoholic. Uh

785
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 1: you know if if you struggle with alcoholisms, if you answer,

786
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: you know four out of these twelve questions, you probably

787
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: have issues with alcoholism. So I'm more than happy to

788
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: say please. We will definitely post yes. And then I

789
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 1: know that you are are um married and you have

790
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 1: a daughter. Now, so congratulations, um I thank you very much.

791
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 1: Um So, I have a two partner, but I ask

792
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: you the first one. First for in regards to parenting,

793
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 1: how do you think that you will talk to your

794
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: daughter in regards to alcohol or drugs or whatever it

795
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: may be. God, you had to go there, such a

796
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: loaded question. Well I want to know now for my kids.

797
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to you know. I think it's

798
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 1: such an important conversation that we all tiptoe around. I

799
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 1: mean I remember like just thinking, okay, I just I

800
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: don't want to die. I'm scared to try this because

801
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: I heard this happen to one person, but that was

802
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 1: just fear based. But I had no actual knowledge where

803
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: I have other friends that tried everything because they were

804
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: like told, oh, it's just like blah blah blah, and

805
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: then really they're trying you know, meth. All right, Well,

806
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,280
Speaker 1: so no, I mean that's a it's a great question.

807
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: And I think from from my perspective and everything that

808
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 1: I've gone through and what I've learned, you know, I've

809
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: got very educated around the disease model of this, and

810
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: it's both behavior and biology player role into addiction. You

811
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: know that that classify it as a brain disorder. That's

812
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: kind of what I've come up with. But I think

813
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: with that being said, to break that down is the

814
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 1: evidence based modalities that we've seen is there's actually studies

815
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 1: out there if that if you can actually have somebody

816
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: stay away from drug use or alcohol use until they're

817
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: twenty one years old to let their brains you know,

818
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: almost fully develop, they have a chance of not having

819
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 1: addiction issues. So that from what I've learned, I mean,

820
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 1: in my household, when Delilah is you know under our roof,

821
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: I mean, she's not gonna be utilizing you. I'm not

822
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: gonna be the parents that's gonna let her experiment or

823
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: do things like that because you know, for me, is

824
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: with what I've learned today is we have that evidence

825
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 1: to show that you know, and that that that time frame. Uh,

826
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: it's so imperative that we steer clear of that stuff

827
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: in the potency and the different types of drugs that

828
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: are out there are there, they're that's so different from

829
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: even ten years ago. So I mean, the way I'm

830
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 1: gonna approach it is let her know. I'll be open

831
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: and vulnerable, let her know what the struggle is that

832
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: it runs in our family, um, you know, and I

833
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: will be very transparent with her to to let her

834
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: know that this is something that is is that I

835
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: had to deal with and that it's affected us tremensally.

836
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: And again it's thank god she's too right now, and

837
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: I think we're on a spot where're gonna have so

838
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 1: much more knowledge and education around this every year that

839
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: goes on from here. But I mean, the main thing

840
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: is is there's not gonna be any drugs or alcohol

841
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,879
Speaker 1: in my house well when she's when she's under our roof,

842
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: and she could be upset about that, but based on

843
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: the scientific evidence, I want to give her the best

844
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 1: opportunity that she possibly can. And more moreoverly is I

845
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 1: want to instill in her that you don't need drugs

846
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,800
Speaker 1: and alcohol to have fun. I mean, drugs and alcohol

847
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: robbed me from everything I love. I grew up in

848
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:46,760
Speaker 1: the Gouna beach, grew up surfing, skateboarding, snowboarding, wakeboarding, uh,

849
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: you know, playing baseball, all the things I love. And

850
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: I stopped doing every single thing when I started using heavily.

851
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm out here. I'm sitting in choir

852
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,439
Speaker 1: right now, you know, And I'm on a surf trip

853
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: with somebody and stuff, and I mean, I get to

854
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: embrace life. Like there was a whole crew of us

855
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 1: that went out to dinner last night and all of

856
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: us were sober, and it's just so funny to people

857
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 1: watch and just to see what people think is fun.

858
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 1: I think there's this a false perception on what is

859
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: really a reality. You know, I want it is false,

860
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: it's reality. And in that in that same vein, like

861
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,399
Speaker 1: is there certain things like okay, I don't I don't

862
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,359
Speaker 1: know if your wife has a glass of wine, or

863
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: if you're filming the hills or any of those things.

864
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: Are there any triggers for you now that you're just like,

865
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: I need to get out of the situation, or how

866
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 1: do you handle that? If you have been triggered great

867
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: question is you know there there are it's it's the

868
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 1: trigger or the obsession to use. It can be very overwhelming.

869
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: But I basically when I go into a situation, it's

870
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 1: like my wife is very mindful, she has a normal

871
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: She can have a glass of wine, take it or

872
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,320
Speaker 1: leave it. You know. When we first met, what really

873
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: drew me to her is how supportive and dedicated she

874
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: was to helping me in my recovery. Because she literally

875
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 1: stopped drinking for over a year to support me in

876
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: my recovery back in two thousand ten. And that showed

877
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: her dedication to it. And today she's very mindful. She

878
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: literally asked still to the say or you know, you know,

879
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: you're good if I have a glass of wine or

880
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 1: you know, and we communicate. Communication is key. But if

881
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: we go into an environment like I like the hills

882
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: and going back into relapse, because that's you know, relapses,

883
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: something that that that happens um and it's something to

884
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:20,879
Speaker 1: be mindful of. But it's any time I go into

885
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 1: a situation where I know there may be an uncomfortablelity,

886
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 1: like for work or different things, I have an exit strategy.

887
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 1: You know, I have a couple of guys that I

888
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: let know of the environment that I'm going into. Uh,

889
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 1: And then I you know, I may need, may need

890
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 1: to reach out to them, uh, you know. And and

891
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: I let my wife know. I communicate with her if

892
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,439
Speaker 1: I'm feeling uncomfortable. And if i get to a spot

893
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: where I'm really, you know, very uncomfortable, I'll tell my

894
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 1: wife we've gotta go. And and your most recent relapse,

895
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 1: what do you think was the driving force that you

896
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: were able to stop again and recommit. Do you think

897
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 1: it was the fact that your wife gave you an

898
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: ultimatum or I don't know what what the case was,

899
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 1: but I'm just asking you know, this will well this

900
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: We'll just give you. This is something that for me

901
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: is is it was not even related to the obsession

902
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 1: of substances or different environments. This is actually something else

903
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: that I was never privy to and I never really had.

904
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 1: I never had an issue with body imaging, if you will.

905
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: Like I said, growing up, I was always active, athletic,

906
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 1: was always in shape to some degree, even when I

907
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: was in my addiction. They ever got super out of shape.

908
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: But this time, after I had gotten out of treatment

909
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: and was sober for you know, a length of six months,

910
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 1: you know, six months, uh, you know, I actually had

911
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 1: gained a lot of weight from the last time of

912
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 1: your body just doesn't you know, as you get older,

913
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: obviously your system doesn't work as well. And and I

914
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: had gained a lot of weight, and I was super

915
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: uncomfortable in my own skin. And you know, every day

916
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 1: when you wake up, you know, and you take a

917
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 1: shower and get ready, what do you see? You see

918
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: yourself in the mirror. And I didn't reach out about that.

919
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: It was something that was new, uh for me, which

920
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: was imaging stuff and and being you know, bloated and

921
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: this in a you know, I thought my system would

922
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: would come back in and obviously being on camera that

923
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: did not help. That made things very uncomfortable. And as

924
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: opposed opening up and talking about it, I isolated, and

925
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: ultimately it took me back to using. And when I use,

926
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: it was a one day thing. But when I woke up,

927
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: you know, I sat there with my wife and we

928
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 1: had a real conversation about what the issue was, and

929
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: she understood it, and she she did not you know,

930
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 1: she also she understood what was going on, and she

931
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: in the love and support from her was huge, but

932
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 1: it was also like a motivating factors like I need

933
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: to be able to be there for my daughter, I

934
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:25,959
Speaker 1: need to be able to be there for my wife.

935
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: I need to be an example. Um, you know. And

936
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: I also know where this takes me. I played the

937
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,240
Speaker 1: tape out it trust me that the using and drinking

938
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: for me, it's not fun. Drinking and using used to be.

939
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: It used to be, uh, you know, fun, It became

940
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: a lifestyle, and then it became a way of survival.

941
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: So whenever I use, like if I use drugs or

942
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: out call, there's no fun left in it. Uh. It's

943
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: in a spot where it's very dark, isolated, uh, and

944
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: not wanting to be present. Uh. And the only way

945
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 1: I know to be able to deal with that stuff

946
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: is to identify the issues. That called a triple A modality.

947
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 1: It's it's it's awareness accepted in action. If I'm not

948
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 1: aware of what's going on, I'm not gonna be able

949
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 1: to accept what's happening. And if I don't accept what's happy,

950
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna be able to take take action

951
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: on it. So I pause in that moment, I really

952
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: identify what's going on except what I need to do

953
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 1: so I can take the appropriate action to better the situation. Well,

954
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: this is so interesting. Thank you so much. I I mean,

955
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,280
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting that you brought up the body

956
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: image issues starting to happen, because that was another big

957
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: thing that people are wanting to learn about, is different

958
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:29,280
Speaker 1: food addiction, body issues and how that can translate into

959
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 1: so many different things in our life. So, UM, I

960
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 1: thank you for being so vulnerable with us and sharing

961
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: with us today. And UM, please if you can send

962
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: in that information for our listeners and regards to if

963
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 1: you know, if they're struggling with alcoholism or any of

964
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 1: those types of things, that would be amazing. I'm more

965
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: than happy to thank you for your time. Jason just

966
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 1: paired with the Red Songbird Foundation. The foundation just announced

967
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: its scholarship program that will donate a hundred thousand to

968
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: it's the treatment of someone with mental health or substance

969
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: abuse issues. Find out all the info at Beach House

970
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: Treatment dot com slash Scholarship. Wow, that was such a

971
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: great conversation and how amazing that both Jason and Cameron

972
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: said the key to staying sober for them is in

973
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 1: the routine meditation exercise. I mean, that's pretty eye opening. Um,

974
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,839
Speaker 1: but I also wanted to read through those questions that

975
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: Jason said that you could look through, because I think

976
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: it would be helpful. Have you ever decided to stop

977
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 1: drinking for a week or so but only lasted for

978
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 1: a couple of days? Yes? Or no? Do you wish

979
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 1: people would mind their own business about your drinking stop

980
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 1: telling you what to do? Yes? Or no? Have you

981
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: ever switched from one kind of drink to another and

982
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 1: the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk? Yes?

983
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 1: Or no? Have you had to have an eye opener

984
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: upon a way akening during the past year. Do you

985
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: drink to get started or to stop shaking? That is

986
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: a pretty sure sign that you're not drinking socially? Do

987
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?

988
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,760
Speaker 1: Be honest? Doctors say that if you have a problem

989
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,479
Speaker 1: with alcohol and keep drinking, it will get worse, never better.

990
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 1: Eventually you will die or end up in an institution

991
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. The only hope is

992
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: to stop drinking. Has your drinking cause trouble at home?

993
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 1: Do you ever try to get extra drinks at a

994
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: party because you do not get enough? Do you tell

995
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 1: yourself you can stop drinking at any time you want to,

996
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to.

997
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?

998
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: Do you often have blackouts? A blackout is when we

999
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,760
Speaker 1: have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember.

1000
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 1: When we came to a A, we found out that

1001
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 1: this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking. Have

1002
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: you ever felt that your life would be better if

1003
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 1: you did not drink? Many of A started to drink

1004
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while.

1005
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 1: By the time we got to a A, we felt trapped.

1006
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 1: We were drinking to live and living to drink. We

1007
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 1: were sick and tired of being sick and tired. Wow.

1008
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: So I think that that's an important quiz to take.

1009
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many different matters we can get

1010
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: into in regards to addiction, from social media addiction to

1011
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: food addiction to sex addiction. Um, please write in whatever

1012
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 1: it is that you want us to talk about and

1013
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: we will get into it. At Teddy t at I

1014
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: heart radio dot com. Thanks for listening, Thanks for listening.

1015
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,919
Speaker 1: Subscribe to radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.