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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: de Grab and I her radio podcast. Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: My name is brooks Like, and this is how Men Think.

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Speaker 1: This is where we dive into the mind of a

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Speaker 1: man and we also share with you. We open up

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Speaker 1: ourselves and we open our hearts, our minds, and we

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Speaker 1: share with you everything that we can from a man's perspective.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of our community is female. And so

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Speaker 1: today's show, we have a very very influential and powerful

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Speaker 1: woman in l A coming on the show to serve

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Speaker 1: you guys, to open her story to you guys, in

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Speaker 1: hopes to inspire and empower our female listeners. So I'm

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Speaker 1: super excited about this show. She is on with us now.

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Speaker 1: She is one of l A's top real estate agents

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Speaker 1: at Douglas Ellman and Beverly Hills. She is on a

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Speaker 1: TV show which you've probably seen called Bravos Million Dollar Listing.

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Speaker 1: She is the only woman cast member female cast member

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Speaker 1: on that show. She also has a brand new book

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Speaker 1: out called Fear Is Just a four letter Word. How

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Speaker 1: to develop unstoppable confidence to own any room. She is

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Speaker 1: a mother, she's a partner, She's an overall wonderful human

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Speaker 1: being an inspiring woman. Welcome to the show. Ms Tracy Tutor. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I thank you for having me. That was such a

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Speaker 1: nice intro. By the way, I have your whole bio,

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Speaker 1: and I could have kept going and going and going,

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Speaker 1: but you're a busy woman. I only have forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes with you, so I I gave the meat of it.

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Speaker 1: But you are such an accomplished woman, both personally and professionally,

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Speaker 1: and I want to dive into all of that. So

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Speaker 1: I want to dive into your book and have a

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Speaker 1: great discussion about fear, and dive into how you have

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Speaker 1: overcome fear, what you have learned in twenty plus years

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Speaker 1: of real estate, and how now you want to give

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Speaker 1: this back to inspire people, but to inspire women, um

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Speaker 1: in entrepreneurship, in the business, in the business world, in

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Speaker 1: the business play, and how to maintain your femininity but

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Speaker 1: still command the room and command leadership and thrive in

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Speaker 1: the business world. I also want to jump into then,

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Speaker 1: how you balance being on TV, writing a book, being

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Speaker 1: a full time mom, having a partner, all of this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff, because so much of our community asks

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Speaker 1: about the work life balance and the struggle there and

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Speaker 1: you seem to have that figured out. So, UM, thank

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Speaker 1: you for being an open book for our community. And

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Speaker 1: first off, I want to touch on this because you

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Speaker 1: know so much about this and you wrote a book

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Speaker 1: on it, Um, fear fear. I hate when people get

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Speaker 1: paralyzed by fear and how it inhibits them from achieving

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Speaker 1: greatness in their life and achieving their life goals. So

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Speaker 1: can you please tell us why you wrote the book

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Speaker 1: and why you wanted to specifically dive into the topic

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Speaker 1: of fear. I just I think fear is something that

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Speaker 1: we all struggle with. It's not, you know, something that

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Speaker 1: you act real you can get over. I think you

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Speaker 1: can attack it in the moment and release it from

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Speaker 1: yourself when you're experiencing it. But you know, I still

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Speaker 1: I was fearful yesterday when I launched this book because

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is crazy and what if everybody

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Speaker 1: hates it? And you know, so we all have that

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Speaker 1: that self doubt that takes over in us for a

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Speaker 1: variety of reasons every single day. And I felt like,

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Speaker 1: you know, that was something that I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: share because it is something that in many, many different

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Speaker 1: areas of my life, I've been able to conquer, you know,

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Speaker 1: fear of being in a new relationship, fear of being

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Speaker 1: vulnerable to somebody new. Um, fear of not getting that

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Speaker 1: job that I'm up for against four men, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: fear of disappointing my children. Like, we all live in

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Speaker 1: that space, so it's never going to go away. But

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Speaker 1: I do think that, you know, there are things that

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Speaker 1: we can do to conquer it in the moment. We

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Speaker 1: have to recognize it first, right, And it's like we

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Speaker 1: all want to, you know, play like I don't know

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Speaker 1: I got this, and inside you're like dying on the

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Speaker 1: inside because you're trying to fake it until you make it.

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Speaker 1: And the truth is, I think we don't honor it enough,

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Speaker 1: Like we don't announce that we are scared and nervous

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Speaker 1: to put ourselves out there because that makes us vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: and no one really wants to be vulnerable because it's

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Speaker 1: so much easier to say, well I didn't get it

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Speaker 1: or this didn't work because I didn't really give it

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Speaker 1: a hundred percent. I was too scared. So um, you know,

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Speaker 1: that's really why I felt like I wanted to write

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Speaker 1: the book because I've taken a lot of chances in

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Speaker 1: my life, and I have put myself out there both

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Speaker 1: in business and in my personal life, and I've always

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Speaker 1: felt a reward every single time I've done that, whether

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Speaker 1: it as you know, a listing appointment that I was

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Speaker 1: going out on and didn't get but like I understood

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Speaker 1: why I didn't get it, and I was just I

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Speaker 1: was glad I put myself in the in the ring anyway.

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Speaker 1: And then of course, you know, in my personal life,

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Speaker 1: putting you know, talking about having a new person in

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Speaker 1: my life. You know, I was terrified about that, and

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Speaker 1: I really didn't want to talk about it for the

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Speaker 1: longest time, and then I finally said, you know what, why,

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Speaker 1: Like what happens if you live in the moment and

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Speaker 1: um embrace the person that you're with whheartedly, Like what's

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Speaker 1: the worst case scenario? It doesn't work out, and then

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Speaker 1: guess what it's gonna hurt and then you're going to

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Speaker 1: figure that out, you're gonna move on. And I just

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Speaker 1: think it's a much freeer way to live and and

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Speaker 1: it just makes you that much more unapologetic and to

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Speaker 1: me as a woman, as a woman, I think so

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Speaker 1: many of us are struggling with this, Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: constant apologizing for yourself because you didn't. You couldn't get

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Speaker 1: it right, you couldn't get out of your own way.

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Speaker 1: And this book is what it's all about. Amazing. I've

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Speaker 1: as you've been talking just right there for that minute.

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Speaker 1: I wrote down multiple questions that just kept coming to

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Speaker 1: me listening to you speak, and the first one was

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Speaker 1: and you touched on it. I also believe because I've

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Speaker 1: overcome a lot of fear in my life, and I

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Speaker 1: want to get into your relationship with fear and my

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Speaker 1: relationship with fear. But the first part of it, which

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Speaker 1: you mentioned, is the acknowledgement of fear. So I believe

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Speaker 1: that's the first step to overcoming it. And you touched

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Speaker 1: on it perfectly, And I'd love to get your perspective

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Speaker 1: on how and when, maybe when in your life you

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Speaker 1: finally started to truthfully honor and acknowledge it, and how

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Speaker 1: that process goes for you. How do you become how

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Speaker 1: do you become comfortable with saying, Wow, I'm scared, I'm

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Speaker 1: scared of this. Do you verbalize it? Do you share

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Speaker 1: it with a close friend? Is there a little practice

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Speaker 1: you personally go through? So how do you personally acknowledge fear?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think something you know, obviously gigantic in

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Speaker 1: my life that I when you ask me this question,

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Speaker 1: just I can't help but talk about it, um because

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Speaker 1: it was so big, was my divorce, and recognizing that,

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Speaker 1: you know, we just warrant in that place anymore, and

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Speaker 1: saying to myself, I've got to get off the fence here,

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Speaker 1: like we've both been sitting on this fence, started playing

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Speaker 1: the Teeter daughter game for five years, and I really

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Speaker 1: don't want my whole life to pass me by. So

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Speaker 1: I sat across from you know, my two or three

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Speaker 1: best best girlfriends, and I said, I I'm terrified. I'm

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Speaker 1: terrified that I'm never going to find anyone again. I'm

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Speaker 1: terrified that it could be the wrong decision. I'm giving up.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's just like it's just like I've had

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Speaker 1: to put it all out there and announce it to

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Speaker 1: myself because I knew that the only way I could

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Speaker 1: be accountable to that fear was by saying it out loud.

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Speaker 1: And I have there's a perception of me that I am,

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Speaker 1: you know, some tough bitch and all of these things,

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Speaker 1: and the truth is I'm quite vulnerable, and I'm the

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Speaker 1: people that know me best. I'm a big cry baby,

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Speaker 1: and um, I feel I feel a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's really just important to to honor that. And

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Speaker 1: and for me in my divorce, saying it allowed to

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend's was the first step and it allowed me.

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Speaker 1: And I talked about this in my book, you know,

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Speaker 1: refer to it as don't sit on the fence too long.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna get splinters and grass. And you know, you

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Speaker 1: you have one life to live. And we don't know

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Speaker 1: what happens after this, not really, you know, we have

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Speaker 1: belief systems and whatever, but like, this is it. And

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Speaker 1: I certainly wanted to accept that. I was terrified and

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Speaker 1: I was jumping off that fence and I didn't really

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Speaker 1: know what was going to be on the other side.

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Speaker 1: But you know, it was the most incredible moment for me,

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Speaker 1: this second I made that decision, and I knew that

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Speaker 1: that was what it was going to be. Not I'm

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Speaker 1: making the decision tonight on four glasses of chardonnay, and

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Speaker 1: tomorrow morning I'm gonna wake up and regret it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm making the conscious decision that this is the road

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Speaker 1: that I'm going to take, and these are the steps

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Speaker 1: that I'm going to take to to go down that road.

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Speaker 1: I immediately felt like in my body for the first

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Speaker 1: time in a really long time, and that was so incredible.

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Speaker 1: I just felt in control again. I felt in control.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I I acknowledged that fear, like what

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Speaker 1: you were talking about, and I said it out loud,

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Speaker 1: and then it freed me to be able to kind

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Speaker 1: of take that make that daring choice to you know,

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Speaker 1: go against our traditional ideals of you know, tell death

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Speaker 1: to you part and and start a new life. Amazing.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't like listening to that. What I feel is

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Speaker 1: that you you took ownership back of the fear, so

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Speaker 1: by acknowledging it, by declaring it to your two or

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Speaker 1: three best friends, loved ones in your life, the closest

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Speaker 1: people to your heart in your life, by verbalizing it,

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Speaker 1: and like exposing yourself like hey, I'm scared. This is terrifying.

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Speaker 1: By doing that, in some weird way, you get ownership

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Speaker 1: back of that fear. And now you don't have to

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Speaker 1: pretend or shelter yourself or put on a facade, but

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Speaker 1: you can actually wear the fear and start moving through it.

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Speaker 1: And what it also does is it opens up your

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Speaker 1: friends and they're gonna pour their heart into I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you felt amazing support from them right after you did that.

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Speaker 1: I had an unbelievable support system. I mean, I have

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Speaker 1: great people in my life. Um, you know, they are

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Speaker 1: a big part of the definition of why I am

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Speaker 1: who I am. And um, you know, I think they

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Speaker 1: all think that I was incredibly strong and during that time,

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Speaker 1: but they also saw me on my back porch, you know,

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Speaker 1: crying for you know, six hours straight and they went

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Speaker 1: through it with me. And so there's you know, when

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Speaker 1: you have a community like that that you know is

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Speaker 1: surrounding you and you have that blessing to be able

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Speaker 1: to be completely vulnerable and not be worried of the

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Speaker 1: judgment that might come your way is a pretty valid

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Speaker 1: piece of why I was able to make the decision

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Speaker 1: to do it. I love that you just shared that

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Speaker 1: little Thank you for sharing and being that open and

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Speaker 1: trusting of our community to share that, because I don't

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Speaker 1: want our listeners to think that because you've overcome fear

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Speaker 1: that it was easier, that it wasn't sad or hard

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Speaker 1: or disruptive or brought you emotions Like overcoming fear doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean it's not just a hurdle you just step over.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of dredging and trudging and work that

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Speaker 1: has to go into overcoming fear. I think about in

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Speaker 1: my life the fears that I've overcome and been terrified,

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Speaker 1: and it's been days or months of things that I've

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Speaker 1: had to continually just make even baby steps to get through.

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Speaker 1: But at some point you will get through and you'll

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Speaker 1: take ownership of that fear. So I just don't want

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Speaker 1: our community to think that, oh, that's just what I

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Speaker 1: have to do. Acknowledge it, then I'm over it. No,

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Speaker 1: it's still gonna be tough, but what you want is

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Speaker 1: right on the Everything you want is right on the

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Speaker 1: opposite side of that fear. Like you said, once you

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Speaker 1: got through it, you're like, oh my god, I feel

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Speaker 1: in my body again. You know, I hope I have

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Speaker 1: control and inspiration and movement and a current in my life.

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Speaker 1: Um So thank you for just sharing that. Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: you went and sat on your porch and cried for

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Speaker 1: six hours straight. You had people well, you know, people

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Speaker 1: always think like when everybody weighs their options, I think,

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Speaker 1: particularly in this scenario, like a long term relationship like that,

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Speaker 1: you're so back and forth, and it's like, God, I

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Speaker 1: just don't know what the right decision is, so I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't make any decision. Yeah, if you don't know what

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Speaker 1: the decision is, then I'll just wait for it to

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Speaker 1: what smack you in the face one day and like

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Speaker 1: you just wake up and you all of a sudden, no, No,

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Speaker 1: you're not listening to your intuition. You're not listening to

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Speaker 1: your gut. You're choosing to ignore all the signals that

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Speaker 1: are right in front of you. Both your own signals

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Speaker 1: here and you know whatever, You know the person sitting

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Speaker 1: across from you that they are delivering, and if you

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Speaker 1: don't acknowledge that, then you're you're losing. And applies professionally.

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Speaker 1: Tisn't being stuck the worst feeling you can have. It's disagreating.

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Speaker 1: It's worse than making the wrong decision in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: right because if even if I had made the decision

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Speaker 1: to stay wholeheartedly um and lived in that space, then

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Speaker 1: that would have been the decision that I was going

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Speaker 1: to make. And I think there's something really securing about

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Speaker 1: landing on your feet and and really just going for

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Speaker 1: it at some point, like there's all you kind of

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Speaker 1: like are and this isn't business too. It's like you

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Speaker 1: kind of a why I've used this all the time,

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Speaker 1: But it's like, you know when you're at a pool

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Speaker 1: and you're like, how do you visit over there? Can

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Speaker 1: I jump in there? Or is it too shallow? And

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Speaker 1: you're like walking around the pool, walking around the pool,

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Speaker 1: but oh, I think I can do it here, And

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Speaker 1: it's like eventually you're just gonna have to go for it.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to trust your instincts and make a

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Speaker 1: decision and hope to God you didn't just dive into

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Speaker 1: the shallow and head first. You know. Um, I believe

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Speaker 1: fear can be an inhibitor, and I fear. Believe fear.

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Speaker 1: I believe fear can be a motivator for you. It

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Speaker 1: seems that fear is a motivator. You don't work right

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Speaker 1: towards everything that scares me. I said, I go right

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Speaker 1: for everything that scares me. It's like gravity pull. My

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Speaker 1: My dad used to say. The thing one of the

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Speaker 1: greatest lessons my dad ever taught me was he always

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Speaker 1: said he in his life, and he was a principal

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Speaker 1: of our school. He said, I run towards the fire,

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Speaker 1: and he always taught me that saying Brooks, run towards

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Speaker 1: the fire, towards what you're scared of, what you're fearful of,

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Speaker 1: run towards that. How do you I want to get

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Speaker 1: from you, Tracy, how you have the courage to do that?

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Speaker 1: Because fear is a scary thing, you know, like whether

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Speaker 1: it's opening up to a person in a relationship with

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Speaker 1: maybe it's a huge listing that you might potentially get. Like,

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Speaker 1: how do you muster up the courage to say, I'm

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Speaker 1: actually gonna dig into this thing even though I'm scared

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Speaker 1: of it. I'm signing up and I'm showing up and

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Speaker 1: I'm digging in versus what you said before, like oh,

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Speaker 1: just kind of like dipping a toe in the water

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Speaker 1: or just being like I didn't give it to my all.

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Speaker 1: It's okay that I get it, Like, how do you

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Speaker 1: lean into that fear? I think you know, in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: it's an exercise. It was like anything else. I think, um,

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, you really are just taking a leap

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Speaker 1: of faith, Like Tracy said, if I try this and

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Speaker 1: actually ran towards the fear, that I could maybe get

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Speaker 1: the listing or have the relationship or whatever, and you

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Speaker 1: really don't know, But I think the reward is once

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Speaker 1: you do start making those decisions, you'll find yourself feeling

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Speaker 1: so much more authentic. On the other side of things,

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Speaker 1: you're so much more in your body, both emotionally, intuitively, mentally, physically. Um,

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Speaker 1: you just start to feel different. And that's something you'll

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Speaker 1: see in yourself when you start to make those decisions.

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Speaker 1: And then I think it just becomes practice. It really

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Speaker 1: has to become like a practice in your life. And

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Speaker 1: there I think little things that you can do to

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Speaker 1: sort of challenge yourself, Like if you're not really accustomed

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Speaker 1: and you are that person who just over analyzes every

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Speaker 1: single thing, there are steps that you can take to

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Speaker 1: kind of go away from that, Like don't ask eighty

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Speaker 1: eight people's opinion about a decision you're gonna make. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna get eighty eight different opinions, eighty eight different opinions

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Speaker 1: that are just going to dilute how you authentically feel

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Speaker 1: about it. You know, I say, in business and in life,

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Speaker 1: select the people that are important, a small small group

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Speaker 1: of them, and they are going to be different in

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Speaker 1: your life personally and in your life professionally. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I have those people I know who they are. I

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Speaker 1: can count them on each hand, and those are the

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Speaker 1: people I go to for a variety of different reasons

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Speaker 1: if I need to bounce how I'm feeling off of somebody.

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Speaker 1: But you know, once you start to lose your grip

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Speaker 1: on what your gut is really saying to you, then

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Speaker 1: it's really difficult to come back to. And you'll find

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Speaker 1: that the more and more you practice by like going

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Speaker 1: to a friend, for example, and saying, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: something as stupid as you know the other day we

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Speaker 1: were talking about that TV show and you said you

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Speaker 1: didn't like it. I like it, Like why don't you

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Speaker 1: like it? You know, like this, like it's there's little

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Speaker 1: tests that you can kind of give yourself and like

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Speaker 1: we're going against a friend of your maybe they have

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Speaker 1: an opinion about who you're dating or and you know,

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Speaker 1: you don't really say anything, but you know it's bothering

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Speaker 1: you like approach it and say, you know, it seems

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Speaker 1: like you have like some opinions about what I'm what

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Speaker 1: choices I'm making lately, what talk about it? And then

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden you'll be like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you just you feel and then you you

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Speaker 1: kind of throw those people off because they're not expecting

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Speaker 1: you to actually, you know, speak up for yourself because

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Speaker 1: you haven't before. And then it becomes this like you

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Speaker 1: lay your head down on the pillow at night and

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Speaker 1: you're not swallowing all that crap, and that's why you're

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Speaker 1: not sleeping, and that's why people take you know, more

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Speaker 1: and more people suffer from anxiety because it's like we

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Speaker 1: don't release it. I think that's such a thing happening

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Speaker 1: right now, especially with people with kids, because let's say

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Speaker 1: one mom is a little looser about what the kids

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Speaker 1: are allowed to do right now during the pandemic, and

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Speaker 1: another mom is really tight on it. All these moms

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Speaker 1: are so worried about judgment from the other mom and

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Speaker 1: and maybe caving on what they feel is safe for

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Speaker 1: their kid because they're feeling pressured by another parent. I

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Speaker 1: see this with so many moms right now. How do

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Speaker 1: you stay true to what you feel is right without

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Speaker 1: getting that pressure from other people in relationships, business, and

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Speaker 1: even right now, maybe with your kids. You know, I've

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Speaker 1: always had a different kind of relationship with my daughters

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Speaker 1: that I think is really authentic to me and them,

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Speaker 1: And um, I'm I'm very honest with them about where

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Speaker 1: I stand on certain issues, and they are they know

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Speaker 1: me very intimately. I don't play the parent role from

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Speaker 1: up here, um, you know, standing over them like I'm

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Speaker 1: you know, God, you know, speaking to my disciples. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I'm also not their best friend, so you know

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Speaker 1: when I'm having conversations about this. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: I'm a mom too, and I totally know what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. You know. I think it's about just being

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Speaker 1: candid with the people that you are talking to, like

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Speaker 1: this is this is not your choice, but this is

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Speaker 1: how I do it in my family, and I want

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Speaker 1: to make sure that you're comfortable with it. And if

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Speaker 1: you're not comfortable with it, I totally get it. I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to continue to do me and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden they'll be like, you know what, thank you

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Speaker 1: for thank you for telling me, because I just didn't

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Speaker 1: know really how to handle it. And you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable because I have a kid at home.

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Speaker 1: That is I haven't seen my best friend, my nearest

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Speaker 1: and dearest since the beginning of February because she's got

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Speaker 1: two kids that are at high risk and she just

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Speaker 1: will not take a chance, and she's like, you're like

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Speaker 1: a super spreader over here, and we we just had

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Speaker 1: an honest dialogue about it, and I said, look, the

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Speaker 1: bottom line is, you know, I I have seen more

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Speaker 1: people I have already had this, and so I just

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Speaker 1: I don't want to put you in a position to

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Speaker 1: where I could potentially, um, you know, do something that

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Speaker 1: might hurt your kids. And so you know, we just

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Speaker 1: have that honest kind of relationship and I think she

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Speaker 1: appreciates it, but I missed her like hell. But it's

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Speaker 1: just the fact of you know, it's a simple fact

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Speaker 1: that you've just got to be like authentic about it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a big part of just the acknowledgement too,

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Speaker 1: is is when you when you share that and opening

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Speaker 1: up honesty, opening up genuine, real feelings and emotions. Kind

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Speaker 1: of why I do this show because I'm not good

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Speaker 1: at that stuff, and so that this is a platform

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Speaker 1: to practice that stuff. But in doing that, people actually

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Speaker 1: truly see you. They truly see you. And when you

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Speaker 1: We've talked about this so many times on our show, um,

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Speaker 1: and I've had a great response from men and women.

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Speaker 1: But when I laid down my weapons, you know, his

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Speaker 1: former professional athlete played in the NHL for fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: Rugged spar contact sport. There's fighting in it, there's everybody.

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Speaker 1: When I laid down my weapons of trying to be

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Speaker 1: tough or trying to be Raboto or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: actually say my heart is hurting or you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: scared about this, or I'm not feeling confident about this.

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Speaker 1: So many men then lay down theirs as well. It

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Speaker 1: creates a ripple effect where people aren't trying to to

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Speaker 1: show this persona of a strong person, they're actually hey,

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Speaker 1: being vulnerable. And that's kind of become one of our

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Speaker 1: missions with this show is opening people up, um, letting

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Speaker 1: them overcome themselves or their fear of how they might

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Speaker 1: be perceived from a best friend. You when your best

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Speaker 1: friend had a conversation where you didn't really care how

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Speaker 1: they were going to receive it. It was just honest

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Speaker 1: and we're still my best friend. We need to figure

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Speaker 1: what this up, what this is out? Um. So I

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Speaker 1: love that you do it. I love that you take

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Speaker 1: that step forward and then your friends. It's also a

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Speaker 1: great filter for people in your life. Your friends will

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Speaker 1: meet you there if they truly care about you. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and I think that that's like, you know, sort of

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Speaker 1: a guide for me. You know, I always try to

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Speaker 1: lead with vulnerability, and we were talking with her right now,

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Speaker 1: you know, people were like, she always laughs that people

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Speaker 1: think I'm so tough, you know, and they're like, she

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Speaker 1: is so not tough. She is such a bus because

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Speaker 1: I do lead with vulnerability, even though I also so

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Speaker 1: I am empowered in my in the decisions that I make,

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Speaker 1: and and when I do have an opinion about something,

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Speaker 1: I speak it, and so that becomes, you know, this

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Speaker 1: this certain characteristic about me that seems to outshine all

429
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 1: the rest, and obviously it's magnified on a TV show,

430
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 1: but then you forget the other entire piece of it that,

431
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: you know, the reason that I have incredible friendships and

432
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 1: good people in my life is because I am vulnerable

433
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: and I do. I'm the first to sort of say,

434
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: you know what, that was insensitive of me, and I

435
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,640
Speaker 1: think I was really self involved in that moment, and

436
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: I hurt you, and I'm so sorry. It doesn't mean

437
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: I love you any less. I'm crazy about you, but

438
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 1: I was living in my moment and you were living

439
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: in yours, and I just completely did not acknowledge that

440
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry. I think it's so interesting with women

441
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: in business that they are perceived as tough, like successful

442
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: women in business, they're perceived as so tough and strong

443
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 1: and bitchy or badassy, whatever the word is. But when

444
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: you really know those people, their actual character outside of

445
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 1: work is usually like they're the most sensitive, vulnerable, um,

446
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,239
Speaker 1: whatever the words are. And I'm kind of getting that

447
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: from you, that you almost have two sides to you, absolutely,

448
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: and it's it. Really I struggled with it a lot

449
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: in the first and second season because everybody's perception of

450
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: me was and you know, I read a lot of

451
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,360
Speaker 1: really nasty tweets and Facebook and people are just trolls

452
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 1: and just you know, nasty, nasty people. And I still

453
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 1: get it, you know, I mean to be honest with you,

454
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 1: like I you know, I log in the to post

455
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: something on Instagram, and I remember I posted just recently

456
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: a picture of my boyfriend and I which I hadn't

457
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: and you cannot fathom the distasteful comments when we were

458
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: smiling and happy and had just nothing but you know,

459
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: not put nothing but love out there. And you know,

460
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: I got nine of that love back, and then there

461
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 1: was ten percent of just some really dark ship and

462
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 1: it's just one of those moments where you know, the

463
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: people that loved me kind of came out of the

464
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: woodworks and you know, and me as well. And I

465
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: did snap into um that mode um and defended myself.

466
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: And it was really one of those things where I said,

467
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: you know, I could sit here and pretend not to

468
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: respond or that I don't see it, or I could

469
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 1: delete the comments, and I was like, no, this is horseshit.

470
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to be vulnerable. I was vulnerable and I'm

471
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: getting attacked and I'm not going to stand for it. Um.

472
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 1: And so there is that piece of sort of speaking

473
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: up for yourself um, and for your vulnerability, you know,

474
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: on behalf of yourself um, which I think people you

475
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: know sometimes don't do enough. Like if you put yourself

476
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:11,199
Speaker 1: out there again personally or professionally, and um it's not

477
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: received well for whatever reason, that you don't then have

478
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 1: the right to respond to that. UM. I love that.

479
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 1: I love what you just said. You've got to be

480
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 1: your own like biggest advocate. Yes, So I love I

481
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: love that on two fronts. Tracy. First, UM, it's okay.

482
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: I want to acknowledge that it's okay to be two

483
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 1: different people. It's okay to to Like I was on

484
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: the ice as a professional anthor, I got in fights,

485
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: I tried to hit people, hurt people, beat people up.

486
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: I tried to do that. But as a that just

487
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: allowed me to perform and thrive in that arena. But

488
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: in my life, I just want to love everybody. I

489
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: don't want to hate people. I don't want to have

490
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: hatred or rivalries like that's not what my soul wants.

491
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: But in the in the business element, that's what I

492
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: needed to do there UM to survive and thrive. And

493
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: I love how you have that same sort of fabric

494
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 1: and that you can turn that on, you know, like

495
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: the book if here as a poor letter word, how

496
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,959
Speaker 1: to develop unstoppable confidence to own any room. So you

497
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: have the ability to turn that on in that environment.

498
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: But also say, like I'm a person, I have a

499
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 1: heartbeat the same as you have, feelings and emotions the

500
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 1: same as you, UM, but also be able to be

501
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 1: to be independent enough, confident enough, strong enough, tough enough,

502
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: resilient enough to stand up when others are trying to

503
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: press that or put that down here like you said,

504
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: troll you UM, can you can you speak to how

505
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: that how that characteristic within you allows you in your

506
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 1: business world, in the business world to like command a room,

507
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: to take presence and ownership and leadership of a room,

508
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 1: especially if it's filled with men. Um. You know, I

509
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: think there's a couple of different things that I do

510
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: in It depends on you know, who you're sitting across from.

511
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: And think there's different personality types, and I think you

512
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: have to navigate different personalities in different ways, you know. UM.

513
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: One thing I talk a lot about is mirroring some

514
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: of those personality types. And I think it's important to um.

515
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: You know, if you find yourself in a room with

516
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 1: like a creative type, you know, a lot of times

517
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: those personalities, you know, particularly in like Hollywood, your writers

518
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: or directors or um that I have been my clients there,

519
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 1: these fantastic personalities and they can dominate the room because

520
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: they have great ideas and oftentimes, like I can be

521
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: attracted to that because they're interesting and they're thinking outside

522
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: of the box. But they're also hard to keep focused, right,

523
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: So you know, I'll come into a room you know

524
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: differently for someone like that, and I would with you know,

525
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: someone that is you know, perhaps like the guy with

526
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: the client end of mine that has been on the

527
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,719
Speaker 1: show the last two weeks. I mean, he has an

528
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: ego that is is larger than the state of California.

529
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: So I had to with him. I I really couldn't

530
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: showcase any vowner ability because he had He was the

531
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: type that looked for the whole and would like and

532
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: jab you like I remember I was walking him through

533
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: the house and that this did end up making the show,

534
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: and he looked at me in the master bedroom and

535
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: I was looking around and saying what a great view

536
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: it was. And he looked at his business partner, who

537
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 1: remained silent the whole showing, and he said, look at her.

538
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: She looks a little bit nervous, doesn't she doesn't she, Robert,

539
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: He's a little nervous, Tracy. And he was like he

540
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: was just completely just outright coming for me. And I

541
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: just looked right back at him, staring in point blank

542
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: in the eye, and I said, I'm not nervous at all.

543
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 1: I don't really get what was the purpose of him

544
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: saying that he wanted to throw me. And I couldn't

545
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: figure out in the moment why. I realized later that

546
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: there was there was something, you know. I mean, he's

547
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: a masochist number one, um, but there's also something about

548
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: him that he got pleasure in watching me squirm. But

549
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: I think he wanted to see me survive it. He

550
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: wanted to see if I could continue on and I did,

551
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: and at the end of it, you know, he offered

552
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: me the portfolio. But I remember he also said to me,

553
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: you know, you realize if you fail, I will fire you,

554
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: like like that's a necessary thing to say, if you

555
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: feel I will fire you. And I said, I don't fail.

556
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: That's such an interesting to fail. But I couldn't in

557
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: that moment. I couldn't. I couldn't showcase any vulnerability, like well,

558
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: I mean I understand that, Scott, but you know, I

559
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: don't think I'm gonna fail or you know, I really

560
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 1: am a hard worker and I think you're gonna be

561
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: really like, I couldn't play that that role of vulnerable female.

562
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: It wouldn't have worked with him. Do you experience that

563
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: a lot where your own clients seem like they're sort

564
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: of combative against you. He was a special case. I

565
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: learned a lot from that relationship. I've had a few

566
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: very difficult clients over the year that that wanted to

567
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: challenge me for a variety of reasons. Um and I

568
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 1: just continually remind them that I have twenty years of

569
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 1: experience in this arena and that they hired me for

570
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: a reason. So you know, if if they're not a

571
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: fan of my opinion or way to navigate the deal,

572
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 1: then perhaps they should go somewhere else. And I'm not

573
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: that's so weird. I that's so bizarre because I always

574
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: sort of interpreted the agent as the person that's like

575
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 1: going to bat for you and trying to help you.

576
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: So it sounds so strange that you would want to

577
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: be like have as opponent make money until your house closes.

578
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: So believe me, we are doing everything that we can

579
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: to sell your apps. Like otherwise we're just working for

580
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: fun and this isn't fun. Along with that, how do

581
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,959
Speaker 1: you maintain like a as a woman in the market

582
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: play area in the business world? How do you how

583
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: do you navigate and still maintain the level of femininity

584
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: or female energy that you are proud of that is

585
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: congruent with how you want to live your life, because

586
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: sometimes it is going to be challenged, Like you just said,

587
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: with this gentleman, you like You're like, I can't, I

588
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: can't give in there. Um, I need to stand up

589
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: and be firm. But how do you how do you

590
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: not just get carried away with doing that all the

591
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: time and have that become your business persona. Is it

592
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: just you know your compass of where you want to

593
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:56,600
Speaker 1: be in your energy or I think it's too I

594
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 1: think I have the chapter that I talk a lot

595
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: about this. It's called fight like a Girl All and

596
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: it's about you know, embracing sort of your feminine um

597
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: energy in a room that maybe has those types of dynamics.

598
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 1: And you know, I will, in a moment go with

599
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 1: my intuition, and based on who's sitting across from me,

600
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 1: I will either go with the more direct approach where

601
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: I'm defending you know, where I have to look and

602
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: square in the eye and say, don't you know, don't

603
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: speak to me like that ever again. Or you know,

604
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: in some cases you can sort of play to the

605
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,719
Speaker 1: room as long as you know what your goal is

606
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 1: and and you know something that we have in spades

607
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: I think as women is our intuition. I think we

608
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: do listen to it more than the average men. Not all,

609
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: I mean, you are oddly um, intuitive and as a male, uh,

610
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: and to talk to I mean, you're super connected, but

611
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: more often than not, particularly in business, you're not going

612
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: to experience that. So you have to try to figure

613
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: out if you need to sort of play to that room.

614
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 1: If you're in a room full of men that you

615
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: know happen to think you are pretty and that that

616
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: charming and charming and that that's working for you, then

617
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: I say, more power to you. Don't shy away from that.

618
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: And that's something that's kind of controversial because then you're

619
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 1: overtly what sexual or you're overtly you're playing to the crowd.

620
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't see what's wrong with that.

621
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: I I think if the tables were turned, uh, and

622
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: a man was had the opportunity to play to his

623
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 1: masculine strengths, he's going to do that all day long,

624
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 1: talking about what a badass he was in football that weekend,

625
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: or who he went out with on Friday night and

626
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: check her out and like all this kind of like

627
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 1: macho stuff. And yet as a woman, you know, you've

628
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 1: got to be really careful about playing to that because

629
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 1: that could cause you a lot of issues. So it's

630
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: a fine line. But I think sort of honoring your

631
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: feminine power is a big piece of fighting like a

632
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: girl and knowing when to do that powerful awesome. UM.

633
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: We only have you for a couple more minutes, so

634
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: I want to touch on this, UM, how are you

635
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:23,760
Speaker 1: able to successfully navigate the the superpower businesswoman TV book,

636
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 1: real estate agent for one of the popular state agents

637
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: in l A. How are you able to successfully do

638
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: that and still navigate being a full time and president

639
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 1: loving mother. UM. A lot of our community as female,

640
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,439
Speaker 1: and a lot of them are mothers. What advice would

641
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: you give them on how you figured out on how

642
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:48,359
Speaker 1: to have this UM? This balance. I don't know if

643
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 1: the balance is the right word, but of professional and

644
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 1: personal UM, it's one word imperfection. Embrace it. It's really empowering.

645
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: You know, you can try to be a hundred percent

646
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 1: all the time to your kids, and a hundred percent

647
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: all the time to your career, and a hundred percent

648
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 1: to your partner. But we all know in the real world,

649
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: if we're really being honest with ourselves, we can't be

650
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,760
Speaker 1: a hundred percent to everybody all of the time. And

651
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: you have to make decisions every single day in that

652
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: moment of what is the most important thing right now,

653
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 1: who's sitting in front of me, who is who is

654
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: craving and needing my attention. I talked to my girls

655
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 1: about it very openly. I say to them, I'm gonna

656
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 1: miss the horse show next week, and because I have

657
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 1: a really important pitch. I mean, I'm making this up,

658
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 1: but you know, I keep that dialogue open. And I

659
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 1: talked to them about how important my work is to

660
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: me because I have to put food on the table,

661
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: not because I have a hobby and I enjoy being

662
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: away from them, but because I actually am want to

663
00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:00,479
Speaker 1: raise my girls to see a successful working woman who

664
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: can take care of herself. Um. And so there's that

665
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: piece of it, and then there's just the the absolute

666
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: acceptance that were imperfect. And I just feel like when

667
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,879
Speaker 1: you can accept that and you know not, I feel

668
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 1: like you have to be snack mom and soccer mom

669
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: and career mom and all of these things. I can't

670
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,319
Speaker 1: be snack mom. It's just not going to work out

671
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,280
Speaker 1: for me. And my kids understand that. But I remember,

672
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: like early on, when they were in kindergarten, first grade,

673
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I was at this school,

674
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 1: this private school that that both of the girls are

675
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: going to and I used to be like, well, I

676
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: have to do the fair because everybody does the fair,

677
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: and so I better volunteer, you know. And I was

678
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: like killing myself trying to like keep up with the Joneses.

679
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: And then finally I had I sat down with the

680
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: head of the school of female had taken over the school,

681
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 1: and I sat down, I had a meeting with her

682
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, I'm going through a divorce,

683
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: I am working full time, hardy than I ever have,

684
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: and I just can't I can't come in and do

685
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: snack on Friday. And she started laughing and she was like, honey,

686
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: you don't need to worry about Friday snack or you know,

687
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: volunteer and she made we have this really great talk

688
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: and I said thank you, because I just I can't

689
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 1: stand the pressure and I feel so judged by it,

690
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: and it's like I'm I'm doing it to myself. So

691
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 1: I completely like all of it. I haven't been up

692
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 1: to that damn school except for picking up in two years,

693
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,760
Speaker 1: and I feel like I am still a great mom. Yeah,

694
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: you seem to have your boundaries really set, Like I

695
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 1: think that's one thing A lot of people struggle with

696
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: is their their boundaries get encroached upon and then they're

697
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 1: pleasing everybody else but not themselves, and then the word

698
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: then the worst version of them and the inevitably comes

699
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: out and you seem to have a great grasp on

700
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: protecting yourself your boundaries. And I lost it, you know,

701
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 1: I lost it to the head of school and she

702
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: was like, you did not need to be like a

703
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: mess right now. You need to fine with the decision

704
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: that you've made. But it's like, I think all moms

705
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 1: do that to themselves, and particularly single moms at work.

706
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: It's like we have this like insane maternal gilt that says,

707
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: if we're not doing everything all of the time, then

708
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: we we suck at this. And it's like, now you don't.

709
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: Your story is incredible. You should write a book, Tracy

710
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: um where I know you gotta go. You have a

711
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 1: listening to get to um. Where can people find the

712
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 1: book that just launched yesterday? Oh, you guys can find it.

713
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,439
Speaker 1: You can go to my website Tracy Tutor dot com

714
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: backslash book very easy if you live in the US. Obviously,

715
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: to get it on Amazon where there's hard copy available.

716
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: UM so I encourage you guys to go out and

717
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: get it. And then you can find me on Instagram

718
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: at Tracy Tutor. If you have any questions about the

719
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,359
Speaker 1: book or whatever. D m me. I try to get

720
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: back to everybody. A amazing I can't wait to check

721
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: it out. And then the show is coming out of

722
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: the twelve is a twelfth season of Million. Yeah, this

723
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: show is out. We're airing um every Tuesday night at

724
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: nine pm on Bravo and tune in and and what

725
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting season. Okay, So now the single

726
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: most important question I've asked you the entire show. We've

727
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: covered a lot of things. Tell me when you were

728
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: ready for a Tracy, I'm ready. I'm in the market

729
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 1: for a house. Will you represent me? Yes, even get

730
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Are you really looking for a

731
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: house in l A? I kind of have a soft

732
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 1: goal of like buying myself just because La is locked

733
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: down right now. I'm up at my lake house in

734
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,760
Speaker 1: Idaho and l A's kind of locked down even yesterday

735
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: just scaled back even more. Um. I kind of want

736
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 1: to watch the market and what goes on in the

737
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: next year, and I sort of have off goal of

738
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: buying myself a house uh in l A by my birthday,

739
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: which is end of June next year. So I'm I'm

740
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: already looking. I've walked through a couple I've checked it out.

741
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: I'm watching on on the internet what's coming up daily

742
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 1: kind of thing, and just well I'm looking. I'm looking

743
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 1: to Brooks because I feel like, you know, with everything

744
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: that's going on and the climate right now, uh, you know,

745
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 1: end of this year, first part of next year is

746
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: going to be a really good time to buy. So

747
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: I mean that's when I'm going to be out shopping

748
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 1: for myself. So if that gives you any confidence, you

749
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 1: happen to be, you know, entering the market at a

750
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: really good time, yeah, I hope. So yeah, So for

751
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: the foreseeable future, I'm gonna be just here, and I

752
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: to hope because I can be outside, i can be

753
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: on the waterkay. My dog loves it here. Um and

754
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: so friends come visit, you know. Just I love it

755
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: up in the Pacific Northwest. It's just it's my heart

756
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: and soul. But l A is also home, and l

757
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 1: A will be home for me. So in the market

758
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 1: for a new home. So if you will have to

759
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 1: connect from this and and talk about what you're really

760
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: looking for, and we'll keep an eye out for you. Tracy,

761
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: You're the best. Thank you so much. Thank you for

762
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: your sharing your story with us. Please go check out

763
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: her new book, um and I can't wait to read it.

764
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: And then when I'm back in l A. Would love

765
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: to meet you sometime and yes, help you. I love it.

766
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: Thank you, Tracy, cheers to take care, have a great week. Brooks. Now,

767
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: I have a relationship question, and I'm gonna have to

768
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: stick with you to answer it, because I was hoping

769
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 1: Tracy was gonna answer it, but she had to go,

770
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to do it, Okay, I'll try

771
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 1: my best, Amy, you know. So Okay, So it was

772
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: fitting when you bring me your relationship stuff, So it

773
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 1: was fitting for her because of fear. So here is

774
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: the conundrum, and I'm so curious your take on it. Okay.

775
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: So when I'm like confident in my relationship, all is good.

776
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,359
Speaker 1: But when I get anxious, like I sometimes get anxious like,

777
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: oh no, what if he doesn't like me anymore? Is

778
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: he going to break up with me? I get more

779
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 1: needy and kind of clingy and call more and text more,

780
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: and I would say, a guy would be like, that's

781
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: so annoying, and but it's like this circle. So when

782
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: I do that, then he's more like, uh, pulls back,

783
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 1: which makes me more anxious. And luckily we did talk

784
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: about it. I was like, if you just can reassure

785
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 1: me once in a blue moon that everything's good, then

786
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: I'm less worried about it. But like, how do we

787
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: do that ourselves without having to have that conversation and

788
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: like get into this weird circle? How do you not

789
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: worry so much about that which then takes you down

790
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: that rabbit hole of anxiety and fear and then acting

791
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 1: cleany and weird and needy when that's not really even

792
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 1: who you are. Does that make sense? Did I explain

793
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 1: it right? Yeah? Someone My first question is like, what

794
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: is causing me anser siety? Is it like, oh, he

795
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: hasn't called me in three days or I haven't spoken

796
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 1: with him in a week, Like, yes, that is warranted anxiety.

797
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: Or is life just that's a really that's such a

798
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: good that's a really good question. I think it's just

799
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: life is so anxiety filled right now that I just go, oh,

800
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: let's just add this anxiety to it too, you know,

801
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: what I mean. That was my first question is like, like,

802
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: has has he done something where you're like, wow, the

803
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: thing is really off. No, so he's been himself and

804
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 1: been the same and now all of a sudden like yeah.

805
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: And I'm so curious for people to answer this question too.

806
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,720
Speaker 1: Is that a girl thing that girls just do where

807
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 1: we get like worried in quotes are like, uh, does

808
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: he like me? Is that a girl thing? Like? I

809
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 1: don't really think guys do that. Let me so let

810
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 1: me go with that. I would say I would not

811
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 1: put that as a gender specific thing. Um. I think

812
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 1: all human beings, regardless who you are, if you are

813
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: the president of the United States, even all, let's not

814
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 1: bring him up. But well, I mean I'm talking whatever.

815
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 1: I mean, a person in immense power positions right right right,

816
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,320
Speaker 1: All human beings undoubtedly go through an EBB and a

817
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 1: flow of of supreme confidence and that sometimes lack of

818
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 1: confidence and self doubt. And speaking from experience myself, even

819
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 1: I was a I had a very successful hockey career.

820
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 1: I felt supremely confident most of the time because I

821
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: trusted my preparation, trusted my passion, the work that I

822
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: put in, the amount of intensity that I put in.

823
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: But still even with all of that built up, there

824
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:52,760
Speaker 1: were still many, many, many times of self doubt of jeez,

825
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: how come I am I good enough? How come it's

826
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: not going my way right now? Like even though I

827
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: prepared the same, I worked the same, I rested the same,

828
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:04,240
Speaker 1: nothing had changed, just the natural ebb and flow of life.

829
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: Is I just went through a little bit of self

830
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 1: doubt or a little bit of whatever. But it's not

831
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: it's not self deprecating if you just acknowledge and recognize

832
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: it and acknowledge like, hey, I'm actually doing the work. Um,

833
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: the result maybe isn't exactly what I want, but um,

834
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's just my own take on it.

835
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: So is it better to sort of, okay, so let's say,

836
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: in your relationship, is it better to actually acknowledge it

837
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: to you're you know, boyfriend and just go, oh, I'm

838
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: feeling a little anxious, that's why this is happening. Or

839
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 1: is it better to kind of like just do it

840
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: on your own and like maybe meditate or say to yourself, like,

841
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: this is based on nothing, get your ship together and

842
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: don't put this on other people. Which one is the

843
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 1: way to go for me, it worked better to talk

844
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: to him about it because it kind of just got

845
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: rid of it really quick. But is it better to

846
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: do it yourself. I don't know the answer to that either.

847
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: I don't know that you have to answer that one

848
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 1: way is better than the other. I think both are

849
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 1: very helpful and can be used at different times at

850
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: the same time, Like maybe it's sometime you're like, wow,

851
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: like he's really not doing anything, it's just me, and

852
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: let me just like go to a meditation class or

853
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: be peaceful and serene, or go on a walk and

854
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,399
Speaker 1: clear my head and just like you know, and then

855
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: maybe come back and then just voice it to him

856
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: quickly and just like I was feeling this, it's probably me,

857
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 1: as Tracy said, it's probably me just in my own stuff,

858
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: and I apologize for it. I'm just feeling this want

859
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: to bring voice to it. That's why you're in a partnership.

860
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,800
Speaker 1: Like you're in a partnership, you have somebody on your side,

861
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: you have a teammate, and not using them is not

862
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: a partnership, right. I like that advice because I think

863
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 1: that's true. If you if you're not able to admit

864
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: it or ask or just explain then what are you doing? Yeah,

865
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 1: and you're not you're not even letting that person in them,

866
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: you know. If and look at it this way, like

867
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: if you if you're part know Amy was struggling with

868
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: that same thing, you would say, just come ask me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, talk,

869
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: come talk to me. I'm here for you, like yeah,

870
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 1: I'll reassure you everything's good. Or you know, maybe when

871
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: you go ask them they're like, no, everything is bad.

872
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to scare you. Abe, I already handled

873
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: it before I asked you about it, because I would

874
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: have been so anxious if I asked you, I would

875
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,919
Speaker 1: to like started balling right now. But truthfully, that's that's

876
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: the point of a partnership is to have somebody to

877
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: lean on, somebody to be in something together. So they

878
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: otherwise they're in a partnership and you're not. If you

879
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: and you would say to them, come to me, like,

880
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: come to me. I'm your person, like I'll help you

881
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 1: if you're struggling with something, let me know. So I

882
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 1: have a chance to help you because I love you

883
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: to bring my heart to you so um. But then

884
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 1: I would also say, like there are other times when

885
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: you can recognize and be like this is just a

886
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: small thing. I just need to clean myself up a

887
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 1: little bit here. Whatever is a personal development practice that

888
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 1: works for me, a good mindset. I like that clean

889
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: myself up a little bit. That's a really good way

890
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 1: to say it. It's like it's like you shower almost

891
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,919
Speaker 1: You're like, I just gotta like clean myself up. That's

892
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 1: a good good way to say it. Maybe just emotionally

893
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 1: or a little soul wise or a little like so

894
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: that you're not just always dumping on this person. You know,

895
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: it's probably like then it's like you want me. If

896
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: it was me and you were always dumping on me,

897
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: it's like I always have to do the work for you,

898
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: right if I see you, if you're like, hey, I

899
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 1: need I just need a morning or something, I want

900
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: to go to a meditation class with just kind of

901
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,839
Speaker 1: struggling and whatever, and then you come home in a

902
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 1: better state. I'm like, Wow, she was struggling with something

903
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: and went and worked on herself. And I see that

904
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: independence versus that clinging and neediness. You know, so well, yeah,

905
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 1: and as soon as I felt confident, like he was like, no,

906
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: everything's good, You're just being annoying. And then I was like, Oh,

907
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: I'll be less annoying now that I know everything's good,

908
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: and I totally am. It's like so weird how we

909
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: mess with ourselves. Basically me before we go? Did you

910
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: already like read that that email from the listener? I

911
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 1: think next week we should have like all those questions

912
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 1: and answer a bunch of questions. But should we do

913
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:26,240
Speaker 1: one before we go? The one from Maria? Yeah? Read it? Okay,

914
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: So here's that question. We always love when our listeners

915
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 1: send us questions. We read them all and we pull

916
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 1: it from him, the most popular or themed ones, the

917
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: best ones that we share them on the show. So

918
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: this one's from the listener, Maria, and she said. Brooks

919
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: said that he has learned to be more in touch

920
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 1: with his emotions this past year. I'm wondering where did

921
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: the lack of being emotionally in touch come from? Hockey,

922
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: locker room culture, family dynamics, or somewhere else. How can

923
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: you effectively communicate as the new you without being a

924
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: giant feather ruffler to those who have not changed along

925
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: with f you? UM question a wonderful question. It's like Maria,

926
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: it's an amazing question, and so to answer it truthfully,

927
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 1: and I've figured this out being on the other side

928
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: of hockey and being retired from hockey. Now, Um, the

929
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 1: reason I was, I was conditioned that way, I was

930
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 1: cultured that way. I am. I was not born that way.

931
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: I don't believe and just spoke about this with Tracy.

932
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: I do not believe that a human being is born

933
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 1: with hatred or rivalry or anthemy like qualities that that's

934
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 1: what they want in their life. Um. I believe human

935
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: beings are born with joy and pleasure and happiness and

936
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,279
Speaker 1: kindness and love in their heart. And so when I

937
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,479
Speaker 1: think of my soul, truthfully, when I think of my soul,

938
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: I think of my soul is just you know me, Amy.

939
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 1: I have a massive heart, and I want to give

940
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 1: to people and love people. I want that to be

941
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 1: my legacy on the earth that I just love massively.

942
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 1: Um and so I but in in hockey, you get

943
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: beat up pretty quick if you go out there like yeah, yeah, yeah,

944
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 1: the you literally get paid because you need to win.

945
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: So to win, you need to beat the other team.

946
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 1: And I just can't go out there and love everybody

947
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: and try and serve their mission. I gotta go out

948
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: there and beat people so through the sport. Um, it

949
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 1: wasn't something that was taught to me by my parents.

950
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: You need to be this way to thrive. I think

951
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 1: it was the a little bit of the hockey culture,

952
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: a little bit of locker room, but mainly myself in

953
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: trying to and I've said this many times, I tried

954
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 1: to weaponize every part of myself to be able to

955
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: succeed at hockey, and that includes emotions. So as a

956
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 1: professional athlete, we actually we actually train sensory deprivation training,

957
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 1: which means you is that you train yourself not to

958
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: feel You train yourself not to feel pain. Can I

959
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: physically push my body for further? Can I go longer?

960
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: Can I train harder and longer? Um, you train yourself

961
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 1: not to hear noise. We're in a building with eighteen

962
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: twenty screaming people. I don't want to hear that noise.

963
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 1: I need to focus on this. I don't want to

964
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: see that distraction. The people on the glass banging right

965
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 1: in your face. You know, you see you see players,

966
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: You see like a player standing calm and still, and

967
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 1: you see chaos around the fans or people banging like

968
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 1: they've trained themselves. They have sensory deprivation training where they

969
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 1: don't get rattled by all of this stuff, and the

970
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: same goes for emotions, and it's very unhealthy. I remember

971
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: being at a funeral of my next door neighbor Ura Wilson,

972
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: who was almost like a grandmother to me because my

973
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,879
Speaker 1: grandma was seven hours away or On Albert lived right

974
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,840
Speaker 1: across the street from us, and when she passed, I

975
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 1: think I was about twenty two years old, and I

976
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 1: remember intentionally stuffing feelings at her funeral. He said that

977
00:53:56,040 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: this would make me stronger. You My brother started crying

978
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 1: next to me, and I felt the emotion coming up

979
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:07,359
Speaker 1: of crying for or as she were so close to them,

980
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 1: and I stuffed that down because I'm like, this is

981
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: gonna make me stronger. Nobody told me to do that. Nobody,

982
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: no coach told me to do that. My parents didn't

983
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,440
Speaker 1: tell me to do that. I did it myself. And

984
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 1: when I look back at that now, that's such an

985
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: extremist and such an unhealthy way to live. Um And

986
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 1: that's some of the can be what I'm trying to

987
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: undo from my sport, and that's why my emotions have

988
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 1: started to come out in the last year. That's why

989
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 1: I'm having this conversation today with you and with with

990
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: Tracy like a year ago. I'm not jumping on a

991
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 1: call to talk about how it does a woman, you know,

992
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 1: maintain their femininity in a marketplace or in a business life.

993
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: You know. Having this conversation is practice for me to

994
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: get more in touch with my actual true soul and

995
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 1: my true heart and feelings versus what I had cultured

996
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:03,479
Speaker 1: myself to be through sport. Yeah good, it feels better.

997
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 1: Probably stuffing it down, they say that doesn't really work,

998
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: So it feels so I feel so much more like pree.

999
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 1: I sleep beautifully, yeah, yeah, deliberate. I feel honest and

1000
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: authentic and truthful, you know. And I've you've seen me cry.

1001
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: I've cried my eyes out to you, like you've seen I.

1002
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: I lost we lost our dogs, Lexie and Harley last year,

1003
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: like just wrecked me, you know. Like there's been so

1004
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 1: many things in my My heart has broke open in

1005
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: so many ways that actually I now allow myself to

1006
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,879
Speaker 1: feel it. The armor that I put on it has

1007
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: come off and it's starting to crack and come off.

1008
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: And now I can actually feel my heart and my

1009
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:48,399
Speaker 1: emotions and I love them. Even crying has come back

1010
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 1: into my life. Luckily, you've never seen me cry never,

1011
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: not not not any of the times that you've walked

1012
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 1: into my heart more with your hair a mass and

1013
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 1: your son us is on and I just said let's

1014
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: have it, and you mean not every other Tuesday. Um anyway,

1015
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just I always cry. It just pours out.

1016
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:18,879
Speaker 1: I sometimes, especially these days, like I find myself just

1017
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 1: crying all the time. Like it's just so emotional and

1018
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,839
Speaker 1: hard on people. Right now, it's like everything makes me cry.

1019
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I like put a little mask on my

1020
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 1: nine year old niece and I'm like, oh, this is

1021
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 1: so emotional in ways, like it's just you go, okay,

1022
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 1: this is life. And then I think about them going

1023
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: to school, and it's like I want them to go

1024
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 1: to school and I don't want them to go to

1025
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: school at all. It's like I don't know how everything

1026
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 1: is fearful, like we've talked about today and how do

1027
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 1: you sort of navigate that. It's like, let me just

1028
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: do our best amy truthfully, nobody there's no playbook for this.

1029
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,840
Speaker 1: No nobody has the answers because we don't know what's coming,

1030
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,439
Speaker 1: you know, So we just we just do our best,

1031
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 1: try our best, surround ourselves with people we love, and

1032
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 1: like today, I cried today. I had a deep heartfelt

1033
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 1: conversation today with a person and I cried this morning

1034
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 1: in that conversation. And I love it. I love it

1035
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: because it actually means I'm actually expressing my full heart

1036
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: like any any person that you can see it, and

1037
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 1: especially in man. You can are in anybody, but you

1038
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: can see when emotions start coming up on a person.

1039
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 1: You can visually there's your body will show those signs

1040
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: of emotions coming up. And then people that push it

1041
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: back down to regain composure and control aren't actually expressing

1042
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: the true potential of their heart and their love. And

1043
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 1: so for me, when I feel that start coming up,

1044
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 1: I've now learned and I'm now conditioning myself to just

1045
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: let that poor out because my mission in life is

1046
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 1: to love truly, to love. So if emotion is coming,

1047
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 1: it's coming, you know. And I used to stop it.

1048
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 1: I used to stop it because it served me in hockey.

1049
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 1: Now that hockey is not in my life, have been

1050
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: able to make and I've just evolved as a man

1051
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 1: and as a human being, I've been able to make

1052
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: so many more strides to opening up my heart. And yeah,

1053
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 1: I think if you stop it, it makes you sick. Oh,

1054
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: if I believe that, I believe it's to some sort

1055
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: of cancer or some sort of or diarrhea. At least

1056
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 1: I was going to long term, like somebody that has

1057
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: this tendency to do this for a decade or decades,

1058
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: that it's gonna turn into a tumor or something. But

1059
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 1: you're like, no, right now, it's coming never. I always

1060
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:51,439
Speaker 1: want to work diarrhea into the show somehow. Wait, what's

1061
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 1: our email address? I really want people to send us

1062
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: like a bunch of questions so we can get like

1063
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 1: a panel next week and try to answer all these

1064
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 1: questions that people have right now, Like, like I said,

1065
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 1: my mom, friends that are like I don't know what

1066
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to do, Like do I do I send

1067
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 1: my kid to school? Do I not? Do I let

1068
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 1: my kid go on this bike ride? Do I not? Like?

1069
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 1: Do they go out with this friend? Those that family

1070
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 1: is being a little more loosey goosey than we are.

1071
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: But is it going to hurt those people's feeling? I

1072
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 1: mean it's just a hot, hot yes, Yeah, what's our

1073
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: email address? It's Ben at I Hurt Radio dot com.

1074
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:35,440
Speaker 1: You guys are both messing men at I Heart radio

1075
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 1: dot Com. Email us. We know you're listening, So emails,

1076
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: any questions, anything you want us to talk about, and

1077
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 1: I'll put together for Brooks a really good panel so

1078
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: we can try and answer some of this. I'm gonna

1079
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: let I'm gonna let the ships go on today. I'm

1080
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: not gonna bleep the ships. She said, shit, I said,

1081
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: ship we can all right, and I'm gonna let the

1082
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 1: diarrhea stay in. Yeah you are. Um, I'm actually really

1083
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 1: curious to hear I'd love to hear from our listeners,

1084
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 1: from our community. UM. I'd love to hear from you guys,

1085
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:12,600
Speaker 1: just how you're doing with this time. UM. I've found

1086
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 1: this time to be an immense blessing. UM. Nobody lost

1087
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: any family members in this time due to so I've

1088
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 1: been very fortunate in that way. My family hasn't got it.

1089
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:27,280
Speaker 1: I've had a few friends that have had it. UM,

1090
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 1: but I've found the time to be I was having

1091
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 1: a conversation this morning about it, about how it's taught

1092
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 1: me real true presence. Yeah, I've been at my lake

1093
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 1: house in Idaho and had a couple of friends come

1094
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: and we've been here for two weeks in quarantine here

1095
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: and just been in the same room and laughed and

1096
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 1: enjoyed each other's company. And it's really brought a paramount,

1097
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 1: like just a paramount wave of reality and truth and

1098
01:00:56,040 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: priority in life of what's important. I have high is

1099
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 1: in lows with it, but we can talk about that

1100
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 1: next week. I have some things where I'm like, I

1101
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 1: really can handle this. I got this, and some things

1102
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh man, I'm terrified when I walked

1103
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 1: down the street. And that's a lot of our community.

1104
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure so our listeners would love to hear. Yeah,

1105
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,680
Speaker 1: let's put together show. And then I just was listening.

1106
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm so frustrated because I was listening to these this

1107
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:31,760
Speaker 1: live report from this reporter in Germany, and it's like

1108
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: they got this thing kind of figured out. So I

1109
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: don't know, I have a whole thing, Like I think

1110
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: my thing is, let's let's try and I don't know

1111
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 1: what I can do about it, but could we figure

1112
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: out people, let's get the testing where we can get

1113
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 1: the results like in a day or two days, not

1114
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 1: twelve days. That's my thing. I'm not being it's not political,

1115
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 1: it's not anything. Just can we figure out the testing

1116
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 1: that seems like it would be so yeah. Um, and

1117
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 1: there's many places in l A that are offering free testing. Yeah,

1118
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 1: but the results right now are so backlogged, so I

1119
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:10,919
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe I can find someone that can help

1120
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: us sort that out and explain, because that's such a

1121
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 1: problem if you have to wait seven to ten days

1122
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 1: for your results. I know. But also like just the world,

1123
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,439
Speaker 1: the world yesterday is in the world today, The world

1124
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 1: today is in the world tomorrow. You know, we're doing

1125
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: this like we started how men think by coming into

1126
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: the studio in Burbank and seeing each other every day

1127
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 1: and having face to face conversations, and now we're doing

1128
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 1: it digitally over zoom call. You know, the world changes.

1129
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 1: If we're not willing to accept that, like even for

1130
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 1: I think for the next twelve to eighteen months, potentially

1131
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 1: maybe even two years, we're wearing masks. Oh for sure,

1132
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: I think so for sure. If we're fighting against it,

1133
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 1: if we're fighting to keep the old, we're not open

1134
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: to the new, We're not open to the future. You're

1135
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: you're paralyzed, you're stop in the past. No, I don't

1136
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,120
Speaker 1: disagree with that. I still would like to get the

1137
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 1: testing figured out. So I'm gonna see what I can

1138
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: do to get some answers on that. And that's my

1139
01:03:14,360 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 1: big one right now. M let's figure that out. I'm

1140
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: not a scientist or the owner of a laboratory though,

1141
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 1: so I don't know what I'm gonna I'm gonna solve it,

1142
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:33,520
Speaker 1: laborate work on depends how you say. It sounds better

1143
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 1: that way. We'd love to hear from you guys listening. UM.

1144
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 1: We always try and curate topics and discussions that serve you.

1145
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 1: And so Tracy today talking about femininity and confidence and

1146
01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: empowerment for females in the workplace was amazing. Her house,

1147
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: by the way, looked amazing. I wanted to mention it

1148
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 1: to her her house. I know, maybe they'll put a

1149
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 1: shot up on the Instagram because her house was obviously

1150
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,480
Speaker 1: like beautiful should be. She's been We will stay for

1151
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:04,560
Speaker 1: twenty years and listening. So UM, we want to hear

1152
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 1: from you, guys, from our listeners, men at I Heart

1153
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 1: radio dot com, send us your questions topics of discussion.

1154
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,560
Speaker 1: We'll go through them, we'll pick the best ones and

1155
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 1: we'll have a show where we dive into all of

1156
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: those until next week. Take care of one another, love

1157
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:23,480
Speaker 1: one another, and I miss your face, Amy Sugarman and

1158
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 1: you two Danielle and YouTube Tory. Love you guys. Hi, guys. Bye,