WEBVTT - The Marylin Gambrell Episode 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:04.720 Yeah, get get boards. It's back and reloaded all in 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:08.119 your mind. Yeah, now deep throating. This is for the streets, 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:12.400 the reel, the railroading, the disanfranchise, the truth, the scapegoating, 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:14.760 and they ain't knowing we speak the truth, so they 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:17.680 ain't quoted because we wrote it. The North South East 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:21.279 coat is g b my keeping your head bobbing, it 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:24.640 ain't no stopping and wants to be try head by 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.280 then the system is so corrupt they throw the rock 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:31.240 out their heads and then blame it on us. Don't 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.640 get it twisted on code and me and dancing for 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:40.440 no buttoment biscuits. It's Willie d y'all scar faces out. Collectively, 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:43.559 we are the ghetto Boys. Reloaded with another episode of 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:47.519 information and instructions to help you navigate through this wild, crazy, 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:54.120 beautiful world. In the studio, Marylyn Gambrel, let me tell 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:58.560 you something found. Y'all don't know the half. This woman 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.440 is necessary, Sarah, I ain't gonna talk up too much. 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:06.160 We're gonna have a conversation and y'all judge for yourself. Brother, 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:09.440 welcome to the show. Thank you, my good friend of over. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.840 We were just trying to count the years. It was 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:16.000 like twenty six years. We've been knowing each other a 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:22.039 long time, long time, a long time. Um, how is Mackenzie. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:26.800 Mackenzie is wonderful. She's a nurse. Now my granddaughter is 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:32.800 an orion emergency. That's crazy, right, So you got when 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:36.399 I met you, you know, you just had your daughter 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:39.840 was a teenager, Mackenzie was a teenager, and now you 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:49.440 have a teenage granddaughter. Well, actually, god, God, that's crazy. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:59.520 Believe that. Yeah, man, that's crazy. Wow. How how is grandmotherhood? Oh, 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:07.480 it's spectacular, it is and is just the She's the 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.840 most amazing mob in the world. I should have warned 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:19.320 y'all family that Merlin is a serial crier. But and 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:22.640 the thing about it, though, is that it's in a 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:26.600 good way, right, because it's like you wear your heart 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:31.200 on a sleep on your sleeve, and you know, you're like, uh, 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:36.080 you got this uh surplus of empathy, and that's what 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:40.640 brings about the tears so often, right. But you know, 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:45.680 it's it's hard to like really explain to people the 0:02:45.760 --> 0:02:51.200 impact that you've had on the community in Houston, communities 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:55.480 in Houston and over just overall, on so many people's 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:57.679 lives have you ever just really set back and you 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:02.560 just thought about, you know, the that impact that you 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.760 have on people, like and the number of people that 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:12.200 you've actually impacted. Sometimes I kind of think back, going 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.560 all the way back, and especially when we started our 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:19.480 program for children and incarcerated parents and two thousand, how 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.160 many hundreds and hundreds of children have gone through the 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:28.320 program and to see them excel. But we still have 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:31.760 children today going through the program. So we're twenty two 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:35.360 years old now, as far as our program is twenty 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:40.440 two years old, and we turned twenty in t I thought, 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:44.760 how magical is that? And we're gonna celebrate every month, 0:03:44.840 --> 0:03:47.960 and we had all these plans. We were out of 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:50.800 there by Mars because of COVID, so we didn't get 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:54.320 to do our celebrating. But we're going to might be 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.160 three by the time we get to it. But just 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:05.720 the numbers and my youngest then in two thousand, what 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.080 you meant you game to class are now thirty five. 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:13.120 You believe that those children men are in the thirties. 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.680 Tell people what it is that you do. You are 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:22.599 the founder of Normal Victims. It's an advocacy advocate advocacy 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:29.159 organization for children of incarcerated parents. That in and of 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:33.400 itself is is it's unique because there is not a 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:39.160 lot of programs out that that focus strictly on children 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:45.359 of incarcerated parents. They're pretty much alike the forgotten, and 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:49.599 people don't even think about what happens with them when 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:54.080 a child when their parents goes off to prison. So 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:59.880 explain to people exactly, you know what that's something like 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:05.360 that involves, you know, this population of children. Like if 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:10.080 there were ten risk factors that needed to be that 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.880 a child could fall in these categories, this population has 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:19.280 every single risk factor. If it's ten each child individually, 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:24.640 we'll half ten or nine, but it's usually ten because 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:30.480 it deals with the homelessness, UH, abandonment issues, have been 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:35.119 abused issues, it's all the above in this one child. 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.080 But then they've got siblings. Now, all the siblings carry 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:44.279 the same pain and trauma um the caregivers, the struggles 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:48.360 that they have, the grandparents that are now raising even newborns, 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:54.640 and the grandparents the usual guardians that step in to 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.240 raise these kids when their parents go off to jail. Yes, 0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:01.360 most most often is the grandparents that take care of that. 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:04.720 And bless them. Bless because you don't get money from 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:08.839 CPS or for adopting, like CPS would pay a foster parent, 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:13.320 but the grandparents needs that additional income now to take that. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:20.120 CPS will pay the foster parents, but they won't pay 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:26.760 the blood. They won't. They won't pay blood grandparents anything, 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:30.359 won't give them any type of relief. CPS, Shame on you, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.120 Shame on you. Y'all. Guys, y'all need to go back 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.280 to the drawing board and figure it out. Talk about 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:40.480 backwards policy. I think it's more and more on the 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:45.120 table now because there's so many grandparents and answer uncle's 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:50.680 toopid most often the grandparents that's totally responsible for financially 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:56.279 and for every aspect. And bless them because when you're older, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.800 you don't feel well, fixed income and you got all 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:03.520 these other responsibilities and you don't just a lot of 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:08.080 times you don't just get one grand baby. They might 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.000 have two of their own children, adult children in the 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:14.320 penitentiary and taking on maybe six, maybe two. It's a 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:18.040 it's a lot more to it, can you imagine, and 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:24.680 then being ill, not feeling well, it's just a limited money. 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:33.920 At one point, no more victims had graduating ratio. There 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:39.120 the children. The children that came through the program still do. 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:44.840 We've only had one time we had that we're graduating 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:47.480 that year and two didn't, but they did end up 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:51.280 doing it in August. So still that's all. So every 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:56.600 single child that comes through the nor More Victim program, 0:07:56.640 --> 0:08:01.240 it's not only expected to graduate high school, but they graduate. 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:06.000 They do graduate. Some you have to do additional things 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.560 to support them or get them into a home school. 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:15.360 The bottom line is you're not You're going to graduate. 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.080 First of all. The other aspect, you don't have to 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.360 go to college. You might want to own a chain 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:22.560 of barbershops, you want to go vocational, you might want 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:25.120 to go in the military. Being a lot of them 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:28.040 do go on to college. But the one thing you're 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:33.720 not gonna do is end up the penitentiary. Now that 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:36.720 we can work on high school all day long, but 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:40.840 we know how critical that is. Your secret. So you're 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:46.120 saying that in twenty two years, right, it's been twenty 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.880 two years of existence, you haven't had one kid go 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:53.440 to the penitentition. We have our goal is that you're 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:56.559 not going. Okay, but all your kids graduated, how many 0:08:56.640 --> 0:09:00.000 kids have ended up in the penitenttion? I would say 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.400 a and this giver takes some I may not know about, 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:07.640 uh the move to other states and stuff, but I 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:10.200 would stay. I would say out of a thousand we've 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:17.360 probably had, which is two hundreds of a thousand, and 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:24.120 that's still a much better ratio than the standard. You 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.760 know what's going on in the schools, just if they 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.520 would just go to school and grew up in these 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:33.880 problematic environments. Right now, I'm overstating because I don't want 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:37.679 to go under. I would rather go over. Because we 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.560 were at um the last time when we were really counting, 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.560 where we sat down and talked about it because everything 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:47.520 is such a whirlwind, it was twenty five din it gone. Yeah. 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.880 I'm adding to that just to cover to be sure, 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:55.480 because I don't want to leave anything out because it's abnormal, 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:59.120 especially in the communities that we're in, like on the 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:02.000 north Forest side, ain't have many children and their parents 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:05.400 were in prison from there, and uh they on the 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:09.760 South side. But we've had amazing numbers. When we had 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.920 met with t DC, Texas Department of Criminal Justice before 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:18.520 and they assumed because it says out of every ten 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.600 children with a parent in prison, six to nine go 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:26.000 to prison okay, So if that's the case with our 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:32.679 thousand should have been six And they asked me, okay, 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:34.559 so how many because they were ready, they said about 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:38.080 six hundred. And at that point when I was asked that, 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:42.319 I said no because I didn't even want to say 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:45.960 twenty four because I didn't want any But it's true. 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.880 It was sway four and I sent twenty four. The 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:55.800 whole room was like, what, why with those type of numbers, 0:10:55.800 --> 0:11:01.479 with that type of success, why isn't no more victims? 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:06.880 Like a billion dollar organization and funds like y'all should 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.640 have a billion dollar budget, right, you should have a 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:15.719 billion dollar budget. Every politician and and so called activist 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:19.800 organization should be descending on this company and saying, what 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.960 is the formula we need to do this in our community? 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:29.800 Why is that not happening the journey for this population 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:35.679 of children? But I found I've been told so many 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:39.960 hateful things like I'm not helping a dope things kid? 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:45.080 Who said that? Just people through time and make those comments. 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.120 Give me a name, man, give me a name. Are 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:50.760 things like, um, how do I know their daddy's off? 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:55.400 The one that robbed me two years ago? I'm thinking 0:11:55.440 --> 0:12:00.640 the child was three. But these are people who run 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:04.280 organizations of people who have means, who have money and resources, 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:08.200 and politicians and people like business people making these type 0:12:08.200 --> 0:12:13.240 of comments. Yeah, it will. It's just politician didn't make 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:16.240 that type because they never said that to me, but 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.079 not to my face. But we've just dealt with or 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:23.079 I paid my taxes already. That's my donation to build 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.480 more prisons because they're going anyway. You know, if you 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:32.640 double over by the time you get away from them, 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:37.000 because you're trying not to, you're trying not to really 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:42.640 really come on across like you really want to. But 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.640 those are just the things that I've been and I've 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:49.000 never told our children that because that would only escalate 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:54.400 what they already think and feel. But I, um, I 0:12:54.559 --> 0:13:02.160 just heard a lot of terrible things. Yeah, um, terrible things. 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.680 You know. There's a lot of victims, millions of victims. 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:10.319 And why and I have to understand this, Why would 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.760 they want to take care of the child of someone's 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.680 a child who the father or mother has murdered someone 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:21.200 and left this other family completely broken. Why would they 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.600 want to do anything to support that child. So that's 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.920 the mentality that comes across and when it comes to 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.920 someone who's a victim and all that they've been through. 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:36.560 I have to understand that if their family member was murdered, 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:40.520 their father is no longer there because of something the 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.400 person that murdered them, and here's their children. This child 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:48.040 is left, the victims child is now left, and this child, 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:52.520 the child of the offender is left. Now you've got 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:56.480 two sets of wounded children. But who's gonna work. Who 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.760 do you think they're gonna want to go towards when 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:02.199 it comes to donating money and helping the family, It's 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:06.800 going to be that child, the child of the victim. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:11.360 So we have so much work to do. There are 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.959 a lot more programs now there are. Isn't that crazy 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:19.560 that the child of the victim is indeed a victim, 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:24.240 and that that kid needs a system love and support 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:30.960 to relief, needs love and support. But the child of 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:36.920 the offender is equally a victim, and they didn't That's 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:41.120 what I'm saying, And they they equally need support and love, 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:46.359 relief assistance, and we have we need to work diligently 0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:52.400 to prevent the behavior from the offender's child from that 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.960 behavior not to spiral into doing the same thing and 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.760 being right now and right now, there's really any like 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:05.160 type of proactive programs that when you identify a parent 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.840 who have done something egregious, especially something violent. Uh, there 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:15.000 isn't anything to go in and you know, seek out 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.440 those children to make sure those children number one half 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:21.240 therapy get the property absolutely therapy that they need in 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:26.320 order the process the events that occurred. All right, how 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:31.360 does one get into No More Victim program? It's voluntary 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.080 for our children. First of all, they have to want 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:38.280 to do this. And um, the name of our our 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:43.800 program on school campuses is inspiring legends. Okay, so we 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:47.480 want to keep it safe for them, not because at 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:53.040 smiling no No More Victims was the name of the organization. 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:58.720 I said, okay, you can create your own name. This 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:02.160 is the organization's name, nonprofit. You can create a name 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.880 that you want for your school. And they said nope. 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.400 I said, we're probably gonna be bullied and really here 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:12.000 it and they said, we want them to and I 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.040 knew what that mean. We want somebody to say something 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.760 to us about it. And they would not let me 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.360 give them a different name. They wouldn't do it. They said, 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:25.280 we're tired of lying about where our parents are We're 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:28.080 tired of always making up stories and excuses why they're 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:31.120 not present our kids. And who was the old lady 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:35.400 that picks you up all the top? They picked all 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.440 the other kids are seeing that and laughing and making 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.200 fun of him, and it's the grandparents. Bless her heart 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:45.040 for what she does, and they stay in a you know, 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.640 fight mode. You know. They were now had something that 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:53.160 totally focused on the dair reality and they weren't gonna 0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:55.560 let anybody getting away from it. And they said, that's 0:16:55.560 --> 0:17:00.320 who we're gonna be. So I said, blessed at them 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.520 because I let them. They got to choose everything, they 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:05.880 got to make all the decisions because they never really 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:10.680 had any power. So I said okay, And sure enough 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:19.120 those days came. And we even had a teacher make 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:23.119 a statement to one of our kids, um, why you 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.520 ask him why you feel a math test? And the 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.600 child said what and then said, aren't you in that 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:31.800 no more victim's program? Are you gonna be a victim 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.800 of your math class as well? Who said that? It 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:40.520 was a teacher That child cried and cried and crashed. 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.840 She held on, but when she came she found me 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.480 down the highway and just fell, just fell on me. 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:51.840 Was the teacher reprimanded? Uh, the teacher was removed. She 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:57.560 got reprimanded. That was a female teacher. A melody, okay, 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:00.680 And it's just so many things. Is that you would 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.800 never know unless you do the work, unless you're in 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.080 the trenches. But the kids told me, Isa, we ain't 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:10.520 in the trenches. He said, you're with us in the gutter. 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:14.680 I said, well, that's where I want to be. They said, 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.560 the trenches to step up. We're gonna come up and 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:20.600 we're gonna take all the other kids with the very 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:26.520 protective of their siblings future, of their future, but very 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:31.919 I saw the most beautiful things their passion for their siblings, 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:38.840 um elder. They had such a respect for what had 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.439 been given to them that they wanted to get so 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:45.320 many good things for that. Grandparents or maybe it was 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:49.800 their older team was their guardian because mama. A lot 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.800 of times the grandparents in the penitentiary too. But the 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:58.040 child is eight team turning nineteen, that becomes they are 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:01.640 a major player in their lives. But they are. If 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:04.920 you act like you're going to hit a job, they're 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:07.280 gonna intervene. They don't care if you mild the store, 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:11.800 it doesn't matter. They're gonna step up and try to 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:15.080 protect that baby. And to see that after all they've 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:22.119 been through that passionate. It's amazing when a kid comes 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:27.240 into the program for the first time day one. What 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:32.960 is the process of getting that kid to see things 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:37.280 in a different way, because usually when you've been you know, 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:44.600 brought up in an abusive UH situation, you've had neglected parents, 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.159 you know, you think everything that's right is wrong and 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:53.800 everything wrong is right. How do you reverse it? What 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.520 are some of the steps that you take, some of 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:59.720 the first steps you take when you come in. First 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:01.920 of all, it's a choice. This is how we initially 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:07.320 initially started. You can come in and you can't just 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:08.959 sit in there. You're gonna have to come in and 0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:12.159 say why to the entire group, and it's smiling. We 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:15.119 averaged a hundred fifteen a class. They gave us the 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.639 largest classroom on campus, so you had to get up 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:21.639 in front of your peers. Half been fighting since the 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:27.040 third grade. Then you had a gang issues that were 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:29.919 very prevalent on campus that were right there in the 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:34.439 classroom as well, and you have to stand up in 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.760 front of everybody and make a decision whether you're going 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:41.200 to stay or not if you're willing to give something 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.920 about yourself. Now you don't just walk in and get 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:48.399 to sit down. You have to be sworn in what 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:52.040 you were, which is a great honor, especially when you're not, 0:20:52.840 --> 0:20:56.040 you know, a child at that moment. So once you 0:20:56.160 --> 0:20:59.760 come in, they'd give you the rules if you can 0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:01.720 have eye buy and then we go to the next step. 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:04.119 Now they're gonna ask you questions because they need to 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:05.919 know they can trust you. But you're gonna have to 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:12.439 tell us about you. And when they start talking and 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:15.440 the things that they say is always very emotional because 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:18.879 they've held it so long. We've had children that have 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:24.000 actually vomited in class. Whence they released it, the release 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:28.440 was so great. And then the kids, the students vote 0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:32.720 on you. It is got to be unanimous. Now, remember 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:38.199 most of them been fighting, and it's so beautiful to 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:47.560 see how compassionate the whole classroom begins to be once 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:50.800 they start healing. Didn't they understand and to see them 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:54.840 almost be like defense attorneys against the d A going 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:58.160 back and forth, Well, I don't I don't like her 0:21:58.200 --> 0:21:59.760 because she used to do what well, what if she 0:21:59.840 --> 0:22:03.160 does do that anymore. Now though you're just gonna throw away. 0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:06.280 We could have thrown you away. Oh it's beautiful. I 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:11.480 just sit back and watch this beautiful protection of the program, 0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:14.080 but protection of each child. And then once you get 0:22:14.119 --> 0:22:18.200 sporning in, that's the reason to celebrate. And then you 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:22.040 take an oath, and which you take the oath, you're 0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:24.959 in for life. And they they wanted it to be 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:30.000 a program forever. And twenty two years later, they are 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:33.280 spectacular in the originals are still right there with me. 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:38.400 I've got hundreds of grand babies now and then now 0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.480 we're in the third generation because one of the grandchildren 0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:46.360 just had our first, my third generation baby, so we're 0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:50.600 in generation three. But it's it's amazing because but you 0:22:50.680 --> 0:22:54.840 gotta have some real courage to do that. And it's 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:58.199 you can't just come in and so other states that 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:01.119 have colleges, and once I talk to them, you can't 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:04.520 just take every child. There's got to be something that 0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:09.320 says you're gonna keep our confidentiality. And once we the 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:14.040 kids created that process, then they felt good about everything. 0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:16.520 But you just let kids come in and they don't 0:23:16.520 --> 0:23:19.199 have to have any accountability whether they're gonna stay or not. 0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:23.400 Other kids know you're hearing it, and they'll quickly it'll 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:27.920 turn into a until home miss because they're not gonna 0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:32.000 let you keep coming. They're gonna stop. You got boys, 0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:42.959 the podcast will be right back back. You work with 0:23:43.000 --> 0:23:47.520 these kids on a daily basis. We're talking like dozens 0:23:47.520 --> 0:23:53.119 of kids on a daily basis who have major, major 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:57.800 like trauma. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You 0:23:57.880 --> 0:24:00.199 internalize that stuff. You take this stuff home. I know 0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:05.200 that for a fact. Take this stuff home. You're rive 0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:11.560 down the street with it. How do you keep your sanity? 0:24:11.800 --> 0:24:14.800 How do you How does Merlin process it to make 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:20.600 sure that Maryland stays healthy? And when Merlin doesn't feel healthy, 0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:25.040 when Merlin feels like she needs a break, what does 0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:30.199 Merlin do to get through it? Yea? I have felt 0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:36.560 overwhelmed many many days still do um. I had to 0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:42.120 get to a place of well. I teach the kids 0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:45.320 about how important is to write your feelings out, but 0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:48.920 I wouldn't do it. I'm too exhausted to now sit 0:24:49.000 --> 0:24:52.920 down and write after all day and driving through the traffic, 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:55.160 and you're going to more than one school now too, 0:24:55.240 --> 0:24:59.840 so it's all day long. But I have. Finally, u 0:25:00.280 --> 0:25:05.880 Kinsey has probably been my greatest therapist because she's emergency 0:25:05.960 --> 0:25:10.000 room and she sees the gunshot wounds and things that happened, 0:25:10.400 --> 0:25:13.800 and she's always wanted to work physically and help help 0:25:13.840 --> 0:25:19.280 him heal physically. Yes, shout out to Mackenzie at Madison 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:23.359 because now she's an emergency room and I would tell 0:25:23.400 --> 0:25:27.600 her what I would process was her what just experiences 0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:30.199 through the day, and she would process with me what 0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:34.160 she thought, and that was that became a really healing 0:25:34.200 --> 0:25:41.800 place and the healing thing for both of us to do. Um. 0:25:41.840 --> 0:25:49.000 God knows I need to nothing. I really don't. I 0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:52.119 really don't just have some set thing that I do 0:25:52.800 --> 0:25:57.520 because everything is involving somehow directly connecting to that. Now, 0:25:59.720 --> 0:26:05.120 the ocean does have a great impact on that. If 0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:06.760 I just get I don't even have to get in 0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:09.960 and just let me hear it. But to be there, 0:26:10.520 --> 0:26:14.040 that's my greatest killing, just the calmness that it brings 0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:18.879 a kind of regroup. But it's never it's never NonStop. 0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:22.200 It's on the phone trying to handle things, and it's 0:26:23.080 --> 0:26:27.080 writing constantly getting this and plans together. But the priority 0:26:27.200 --> 0:26:30.320 is that I have all these stain plans I've written, 0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:33.840 but what do you want to talk about? Today? Every day, 0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:37.160 every class is what do you want? Because things could 0:26:37.160 --> 0:26:41.360 have happened last night, and they usually have. We've had 0:26:41.960 --> 0:26:46.760 children that were sexually assaulted overnight over the weekend. So 0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:51.600 once they talk, you need to go father report and 0:26:51.680 --> 0:26:53.960 get other people involved. That you have to with some 0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:57.480 law enforcement and and CPS, and then you have to 0:26:57.520 --> 0:27:01.639 get them ready because it's also UH testifying in court 0:27:02.880 --> 0:27:06.320 and it's UH. They've seen their parents shot. We have murder, 0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:09.880 we have murdered parents, but we have missing parents as well. 0:27:11.359 --> 0:27:16.119 Been missing twenty five years, no jail time, no prison time, 0:27:18.160 --> 0:27:23.399 disappeared completely and we've talked with the FBI. We do 0:27:23.480 --> 0:27:26.200 everything we can to give some kind of peace enclosure 0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:30.520 because our children carry so much artur parent comes home 0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:36.440 from prison and still doesn't reconnect with the child our 0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:40.520 season for ten minutes, never saw him before until they 0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:44.159 got out. Seeson has a conversation, I'm going to the 0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:48.000 store and drives off forever. Then the child's thinking, well, 0:27:50.000 --> 0:27:52.560 did he or she not like me because they think 0:27:52.600 --> 0:27:56.280 I'm ugly or maybe I'm not their kid? Now once 0:27:56.320 --> 0:28:01.960 against their fault. So we worked so and move forward 0:28:02.640 --> 0:28:06.080 and then they get not back again. So it's like 0:28:06.880 --> 0:28:10.200 every adult in their lives is let them down some 0:28:10.200 --> 0:28:15.639 some way. And but when just come home and they 0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:22.359 know that what they need to do, there's not to 0:28:22.520 --> 0:28:25.440 make it. But I just don't never really see that. 0:28:26.840 --> 0:28:30.120