Speaker 1: Nicky past. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. What's up everyone?
Speaker 1: Good Friday about to be Friday, Thursday. It's our Friday.
Speaker 1: UM fun shows coming up this weekend. If you want
Speaker 1: to come check a lady out, gonna be in Philly.
Speaker 1: It's sold out, so UM, I don't know Craigslist or
Speaker 1: something for that. And then uh uh Richmond, Virginia. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be there on Saturday. And then next week I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be in um, good old Calgary if you if
Speaker 1: you know anyone in the Calgary area, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: at some kind of casino there. Andrew will not be there,
Speaker 1: but I will be there doing meet and greets and everything.
Speaker 1: And UM, as always, if you know you can't afford
Speaker 1: a meet and greet, and this is truly for people
Speaker 1: who just can't afford it, Um, you can DM me.
Speaker 1: And if I see your d M and I get
Speaker 1: to it, UM, I will grant you a meet and
Speaker 1: greet if I'm doing them. However, if I just don't
Speaker 1: see them, don't be mad at me. Um, you just
Speaker 1: didn't bother me enough. Or I just like I'm getting
Speaker 1: to the point where I have too many followers and
Speaker 1: d ms get built backed up, but I try to
Speaker 1: sift through them looking for people, so um to get
Speaker 1: my attention. Um, just right, you know, and make it
Speaker 1: simple for me, like you don't need to be like,
Speaker 1: thank you so much? Is it okay if I do this,
Speaker 1: like like you don't have to tell me your whole story,
Speaker 1: Like I will trust that you qualify as someone who
Speaker 1: can't afford meet and greet, and you can write, um,
Speaker 1: you know, meet and greet and all caps, and that
Speaker 1: will get my attention. That's the first thing you write.
Speaker 1: And then just write your name and how many and
Speaker 1: which show you're going to. So sometimes there's two shows
Speaker 1: and that will suffice and make sure you just do
Speaker 1: it like two days before the show or something like that.
Speaker 1: So I have some spring dates that were just announced. Um,
Speaker 1: don't don't ask me for beating greets for those yet.
Speaker 1: I just can't deal with that yet. But I'll find
Speaker 1: a way to get them for my besties, um, because
Speaker 1: I want to meet you all and sometimes you can't
Speaker 1: afford it, and I understand on that. So UM, feeling
Speaker 1: so good today. I got my new UM Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: sweatshirt yesterday that I've been waiting for. I saw like
Speaker 1: Cody Simpson or someone was wearing it. It says all
Speaker 1: too well, collegiate. It's like a collegiate to print, you know,
Speaker 1: like it almost looks like Harvard or Yale. For those
Speaker 1: of you not watching on on YouTube, this will be
Speaker 1: up on YouTube. You can see it. It's on an etc.
Speaker 1: Shop is forty one. I got an extra large, which
Speaker 1: is like finally, like, I feel so comfy in it.
Speaker 1: The sleeves are comfy. It's like a blay Friend sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: It just feels like a fucking snuggy. I love it
Speaker 1: so much that I went and I bought um a
Speaker 1: couple others from this this shop. The shop is if
Speaker 1: you're interested, if you're swifty out there or you know
Speaker 1: any swifties. This is a great Christmas gift, a snuggly sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: I would get an extra large or large and it
Speaker 1: is um. This guy does not need my support. Shop
Speaker 1: Eddie Lane. He sells a ton of stuff. I wish
Speaker 1: he had better designs. To be honest with you, but
Speaker 1: I just bought a new swift the one I'm actually
Speaker 1: buying it right now. Wait no, no, that's not extra large.
Speaker 1: I'll get to it later one says Swifty one says delicate,
Speaker 1: which is my favorite song. But I don't want to
Speaker 1: walk around with a sweatshirt that's is delicated. People are
Speaker 1: going to think that I'm like, handle me with care,
Speaker 1: I'm scared. But it is my favorite Taylor Swift song. Um.
Speaker 1: Just had so much fun with Andrew this morning. This afternoon.
Speaker 1: We started late, late, late late, thank you noah, um,
Speaker 1: and we were uploading some video from yesterday and so
Speaker 1: I got a little extra time and I memorized singing
Speaker 1: your your little yes yeah we Um. Well I learned
Speaker 1: my favorite Dave Matthews song of all time. I think
Speaker 1: I talked about it before, but it's called say Goodbye.
Speaker 1: I played it on the live the other day. UM,
Speaker 1: very haphazardly becaus following the tabs, and but I memorized it,
Speaker 1: which is so much of guitar is just memorization, much
Speaker 1: like I guess comedy. It just you have to remember
Speaker 1: you can't. Some people are just like the go by, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to make an F minor here because that
Speaker 1: sounds like that's where it F minor would go. But me,
Speaker 1: it's like it could be anything at any time. I
Speaker 1: have to memorize what my hand does next, and I
Speaker 1: make little like how do you memorize guitar now? Is
Speaker 1: it just by ear? Or like do you do it
Speaker 1: the right way in terms of like oh, I know
Speaker 1: where things are and I know what the ways they
Speaker 1: should sound. I mean you're doing more like um, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I like to play chords and stuff, but um,
Speaker 1: I think it's just through a repetition and muscles memorization.
Speaker 1: So memorization you're not going off of like oh, I
Speaker 1: know my finger goes here because I know it's that's
Speaker 1: an e or like that's like I rememory. It's almost
Speaker 1: like with jokes, like I don't memorize by looking at
Speaker 1: the lines or whatever like that I've written because I
Speaker 1: never write them out. I just memorized by like the
Speaker 1: feel of it, or like like a image will top
Speaker 1: pop into my head of like it's interesting how people
Speaker 1: remember things. I just want to know. I don't remember
Speaker 1: that way, so I have to I can't remember like
Speaker 1: a song for the life of me, I depend on it.
Speaker 1: If you had the gun to my head and said
Speaker 1: and said play the song, I wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: do it without reading it. But I think the the
Speaker 1: tab or the like you can follow up or do
Speaker 1: you read like actually sheet music? I didn't know that
Speaker 1: that's how I learned. Yeah, oh my god. Wait, how
Speaker 1: did you learn guitar from? I've I took. I took
Speaker 1: guitar lessons since I was well with my last guitar
Speaker 1: teacher from when I was nineteen until thirty five. WHOA,
Speaker 1: so you were you learned how to read music through
Speaker 1: that you didn't know how to read before nineteen. I
Speaker 1: just learned like in school and stuff, and I took
Speaker 1: a piano as a kid, very brief, right, Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just feel like, you know, I think so much
Speaker 1: of my reticence to to play guitar ever, was that
Speaker 1: I can't read music. I don't have an interest in
Speaker 1: music theory. It just is almost like football to me,
Speaker 1: Like I don't understand it. It doesn't stick, you know.
Speaker 1: I still don't. When people go the B string, I go,
Speaker 1: will you just tell me what number it is? And
Speaker 1: then I have to remember to count from the bottom
Speaker 1: instead of the top. So when you're playing guitar, if
Speaker 1: you don't know, like they say, like the second string
Speaker 1: that's from the bottom, So it's to me that's the
Speaker 1: fifth string, because you should start one, two, three, four, five, six.
Speaker 1: But so I have to do not only when they
Speaker 1: say the b or you know whatever string. See, I
Speaker 1: only know the easer on the side, on the side,
Speaker 1: on the ends, and there's a high e and a
Speaker 1: low e and then but I usually like, just tell
Speaker 1: me the number string and tell me the number fret
Speaker 1: and I got you. And I feel like in time
Speaker 1: I will start to make connections of what where things happen.
Speaker 1: But um, it's just not fun for me to do
Speaker 1: it the other way. And I know that learning doesn't
Speaker 1: always have to be fun, but for me, guitar is
Speaker 1: so fun that I don't want to cloud it with
Speaker 1: things that feel like math to me because it's such
Speaker 1: a hobby that I enjoy. As Lauren said to Poppy,
Speaker 1: you do you Okay, Oh my god, I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do me. And you know, the whole pick thing.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of people write me. Someone. The
Speaker 1: one person that really did help me well, Willie Nelson's
Speaker 1: granddaughter wrote Andrew and told me to get a certain
Speaker 1: kind of pick that has a um, what's her name? Raylan?
Speaker 1: Of course, Raylan is the name of Willie Nelson's granddaughter.
Speaker 1: I mean, that is such a cute name, and so
Speaker 1: like that would be what you would write in a
Speaker 1: biopic if you're making up his life. Raylan suggested this,
Speaker 1: like pick that has um, you know, like it's a
Speaker 1: little worn down in the middle, it has like a
Speaker 1: grip to it. It has a little like dots on it,
Speaker 1: like brail. Almost that makes you And those are the
Speaker 1: best for me, but still those are not fun. And
Speaker 1: and then someone said pretty much do you and said,
Speaker 1: don't use a PICKA is your fucking fingers And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, that I can do. I can, oh,
Speaker 1: but it just doesn't sound as clean. But maybe I
Speaker 1: can make my my nail is like a pick, I mean,
Speaker 1: like your thumbnail resemble. Maybe I'll just get my nails
Speaker 1: shaped like picks. You know how you can choose the
Speaker 1: shape of your nail. They're like, do you want it square?
Speaker 1: Do you want it round? Coffin shape? Yeah, almond shape.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it guitar pick shape now. Um. But
Speaker 1: I just learned say Goodbye, which is my favorite Dave
Speaker 1: Matthews song, but it's from Live at Luther College. That's
Speaker 1: the version I like It's been my favorite song of
Speaker 1: all times since uh you know. I started loving Dave
Speaker 1: Matthews as a sophomore and call it or in high
Speaker 1: school and it is. It's just so the irony is.
Speaker 1: I never when I was a young girl that was
Speaker 1: obsessed with Dave Matthews, I didn't really listen to the lyrics.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like into the lyrics as much as I
Speaker 1: am with Taylor Swift or even now. Like I remember
Speaker 1: the first time I decided that I was going to
Speaker 1: be obsessed today Matthews where it just overcame my soul.
Speaker 1: I was laying on my carpet in my bedroom. I
Speaker 1: was a sophomore and I was listening to Satellite and
Speaker 1: there was just something so beautiful about the d d didn't, don't, don't,
Speaker 1: didn't didn't don't, don't, don't don't, And I was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm sold. This has taken me to a new dimension.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be my new thing. It wasn't even
Speaker 1: an option. It wasn't like I'm going to choose this.
Speaker 1: It was just like, this makes me feel something and
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but it makes me
Speaker 1: feel good. I didn't listen to lyrics because honestly, Dave
Speaker 1: Matthews man his lyrics. He is singing about love and
Speaker 1: a lot of songs, but then he got married and
Speaker 1: he started singing about the environment and he's like, don't
Speaker 1: drink the water, oh, the genocide of the people. And
Speaker 1: it's just like it's not like cry for you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's singing about important issues as a South
Speaker 1: American man who has a lot of empathy, he's singing
Speaker 1: about real ship. But it's like it didn't strike my
Speaker 1: soul away. Taylor Swift did obviously, and um, but there's
Speaker 1: a song called say Good I and I was obsessed
Speaker 1: with it as soon as Life at Luther College came out.
Speaker 1: And it's just him and Tim Reynolds, very bare bones acoustic.
Speaker 1: Tim Reynolds is playing lead, uh and Dave's just you know,
Speaker 1: doing It's just I really implore anyone who's listening to
Speaker 1: go listen to that song and see if you are
Speaker 1: not as like fucking horny as I am at the
Speaker 1: end of it. So the thing is, though I never
Speaker 1: listened to his lyrics really because um, let's talk about
Speaker 1: you know the song that everyone knows, Crash, Hack up
Speaker 1: your Skirt, a little more. Show your world to me.
Speaker 1: In a boys dream, I watch you there through the
Speaker 1: window as a stare at you wear nothing, but you
Speaker 1: wear it's he's a creep. This guy is hiding in
Speaker 1: the bushes watching a girl. He's a boy watching a
Speaker 1: girl in dress, and it is sexy. Hike up your
Speaker 1: skirt a little more and show your world to me. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: well is your is? Is my world? A tampon string
Speaker 1: with some gross underwear that I got from two thousand, Like,
Speaker 1: I wear these gross on around my period that I
Speaker 1: used to get called um me and do you remember
Speaker 1: that they were like advertised on every podcast? Um, I
Speaker 1: think we The pairs that I have are from the
Speaker 1: show that we worked on. Yes, okay, so they gave
Speaker 1: us some. I loved them. I would get a new
Speaker 1: pair every month and it would just be like in
Speaker 1: their fun like designs and patterns. They're actually really great.
Speaker 1: But I got them probably for three years. So I
Speaker 1: have so many, so many of these meds and now
Speaker 1: they're just kind of older, and so I wear them
Speaker 1: for my um period days. But um the songs say goodbye.
Speaker 1: Andrew and I both love it so much and the
Speaker 1: irony is it's about two friends having sex one night
Speaker 1: and then they like part go their separate ways. So
Speaker 1: it's just like and I never knew that. I didn't
Speaker 1: even think about the lyrics of that song. I was
Speaker 1: a total noah back in the day, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: listen to I didn't like, you know, get into lyrics
Speaker 1: and dissect them. I just knew it was like about
Speaker 1: two Like it was just even if he was singing up,
Speaker 1: if you just started, uh, lyrics about whales, you would
Speaker 1: be like, this song is horny because it's just the tempo,
Speaker 1: the rhythm and then but it's so funny because Andre
Speaker 1: and I are both obsessed with this song and it
Speaker 1: sounds like we're like, oh, singing to each other, but
Speaker 1: it's like not, it's for me. This song was never
Speaker 1: even though I did, Oh my god, I used to
Speaker 1: have the biggest crush on um my, like this guy
Speaker 1: that was you know, I was only friends with him
Speaker 1: because I was in love with him. I mean the
Speaker 1: whole time I liked him. His name was Doug Reece.
Speaker 1: He was my first love, and I was obsessed with
Speaker 1: him as much as I was obsessed with Dave Matthews
Speaker 1: because he could play guitar, so freaking well, if anyone
Speaker 1: knows Doug Race or where he is or how to
Speaker 1: locate him, please someone get me in touch with Doug Reece.
Speaker 1: I would love to see that guy again. I know
Speaker 1: he's married and probably has kids and stuff. Not trying
Speaker 1: to fucking hit on him, don't worry about that. I
Speaker 1: just want to be friends with him again because he's
Speaker 1: such a good guitarist. And we called him ninety eight
Speaker 1: degreas because ninety degrees was a hot band back then.
Speaker 1: So now dy eight Doug g Reece, if you're out there, um,
Speaker 1: And the great thing about men is they don't get
Speaker 1: married and change their names, so they're easier to locate.
Speaker 1: But Doug was so good a guitar, and I was
Speaker 1: so in love with him. It was like my thing
Speaker 1: in high school. I know I've talked if you've heard me,
Speaker 1: if you probably told it on this podcast, but we
Speaker 1: have new listeners. I was, I thought I was. He
Speaker 1: was going to be my first kiss because we're best
Speaker 1: friends in sophomore year, we would like hang out all
Speaker 1: the time. I was harboring this like intense crush on him,
Speaker 1: and he loved Dave Matthews as much as I did.
Speaker 1: He would give me all these like mixed tapes that
Speaker 1: think these you know him Dave playing at a frat
Speaker 1: house in like ninety three. It's like, was all this
Speaker 1: we just exchanged Dave love. He took me to the
Speaker 1: John Mayer concert or actually it was Guster. We went
Speaker 1: to go see Guster. I don't know if anyone remembers them,
Speaker 1: but they're awesome. And John Mayer was opening for Guster.
Speaker 1: This was two thousand maybe, and during John Mayer, so
Speaker 1: Doug had seen Gust the first night they played. They
Speaker 1: played two nights. We went to the second night and
Speaker 1: Doug was like, you're gonna love this guy, John Mayor.
Speaker 1: He's so freaking good. I'm so into him. And we're
Speaker 1: watching John Mayer and then he starts singing your Body
Speaker 1: is the Wanderland and like that song which I've never
Speaker 1: heard before, you know, And Doug leans into my ear
Speaker 1: and goes, this song is about sex. This is so hard.
Speaker 1: But I didn't love him yet. Then then I became
Speaker 1: obsessed with them, slowly but surely, and everyone in the
Speaker 1: school knew it was like my thing. He didn't know, though,
Speaker 1: until after I confessed my love. And then everyone knew,
Speaker 1: but um, one day, I was going to confess my
Speaker 1: love because it was just bubbling up, which is what
Speaker 1: I've done with every single guy that i've you know,
Speaker 1: Harvard feelings for. I eventually just go, I like, you, like,
Speaker 1: why do you think I'm hanging out with you all
Speaker 1: the time? Will you just like kiss me? What the fuck? Like?
Speaker 1: I usually, well, it's not like that, but I usually
Speaker 1: confront it because I just like, am like gonna fucking volcano.
Speaker 1: I just I'm like, why isn't this person making move? Um?
Speaker 1: And so I always have to. But I was going
Speaker 1: over I've told this before. Kirsten was over at my
Speaker 1: house and I was going over to Dougs in an
Speaker 1: hour after school, kurs came over to prepare me to
Speaker 1: go to Dug's house because I was gonna tell him
Speaker 1: I liked him. I was going to take the bold
Speaker 1: move and tell him I liked him. We were studying
Speaker 1: chemistry and Kurson came over and I was like Chris
Speaker 1: and kiss boys by then, and I was like Chris,
Speaker 1: and I'm so nervous, like what if I'm a bad kisser?
Speaker 1: And she was just like, You'll be fine. I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I don't even know what to do. I had
Speaker 1: studied can't hardly wait the ending scenes so much where
Speaker 1: Jennifer left Hewitt kisses and then lifts her eyebrows, and
Speaker 1: I knew I had to do that. You have to
Speaker 1: lift your eyebrows after you kiss the first time. You
Speaker 1: have to kiss, and then you go and then you
Speaker 1: kiss again and then you kiss, lift drybrows more. Um,
Speaker 1: But Kirsten just goes, just kiss me right now. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you if you're good. And so we made out
Speaker 1: and she was like, yeah, great. And I didn't realize
Speaker 1: until I was doing a podcast in my twenties that
Speaker 1: that was my first kiss. I was telling that story
Speaker 1: and my friend was like, um, Nikki, that's that was
Speaker 1: a kiss. That was your first kiss. And I was like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 1: you're right. So I went over to Dougs and we
Speaker 1: were sitting we're also obsessed with counting crows, and we
Speaker 1: were sitting in his dark basement with our chemistry books
Speaker 1: on our laps across the room, and I was just like, Doug,
Speaker 1: this is like kind of my personality. I like to
Speaker 1: just jump. It always felt like jumping in the pool.
Speaker 1: If you've ever been a swimmer and you have swim
Speaker 1: practice in the morning and the cool pools fucking freezing,
Speaker 1: and you know you have to get in there and
Speaker 1: swim for a fucking hour, and you're just gonna like
Speaker 1: I don't just like tiptoe in and like go to
Speaker 1: the side of the stairs. I just jump in and
Speaker 1: you have to like do it. When you know you
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, you just have to start
Speaker 1: moving and then you're it's too late to turn back,
Speaker 1: so I just go dog. And it was Anna Begins
Speaker 1: was playing if you know, counting Crows, and there's like
Speaker 1: this this line is like Anna begins to change her
Speaker 1: mind and then it's like the seconds when I'm shaking
Speaker 1: with me shivering for days, and it's just like this
Speaker 1: like very like emotional song, and um, I go, Doug,
Speaker 1: I have something to tell you. And I just remember
Speaker 1: him looking up and being like he had this really
Speaker 1: low voice. He's like yeah, and I was like I
Speaker 1: like you, and he was just like um. And I
Speaker 1: was like I like you and I'm sorry, I just
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just need you to know. And
Speaker 1: he was like, oh nicky, and I was like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I thought he was going to make out with me
Speaker 1: right then, because like I knew he liked me, and
Speaker 1: instead he was like I have a girlfriend, and I
Speaker 1: go what we were best friends and go, you have
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. What are you talking about? He's like, I
Speaker 1: just started dating this girl from a private school, and like,
Speaker 1: we don't need talk. We're in publish school. We don't
Speaker 1: We're not even talk to them. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Her name was Katherine. I hate it the name Katherine
Speaker 1: until I met my best friend in in college named Catherine,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I take back, Katherine's are cool now,
Speaker 1: but I and then this girl I hated her from afar.
Speaker 1: I remember I had her on my a I M
Speaker 1: so I would see when he logged on he was
Speaker 1: Marley fan pH a N and then he would go
Speaker 1: like like the door would open and then I'd see
Speaker 1: her gan on and then I would see them like
Speaker 1: and I would write him while he's writing her, and
Speaker 1: I was so jealous and like try to play cool.
Speaker 1: And then finally he broke up with her, finally for
Speaker 1: me because he liked me. And then the second he
Speaker 1: broke up with her, I stopped liking him. Like this,
Speaker 1: like literally on a dime. I was so excited when
Speaker 1: my friend Matt Vanderboard told me he took me outside
Speaker 1: at Barnes and Noble. We're all we we would all
Speaker 1: meet and hang out before, like at night and like study.
Speaker 1: But we were just hanging out and flirt and and
Speaker 1: he took me out in the parking lint. He was
Speaker 1: like niggy Doug broke up with Catherine, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. I was jumping up and down. I
Speaker 1: like jumped on top of them. I was like so excited,
Speaker 1: like my dream, like I was up. Everyone knew I
Speaker 1: was obsessed with Doug Race. Everyone it was like my identity.
Speaker 1: It was Dave, Matthews and Doug Race. And he broke
Speaker 1: up with her. And as we're walking back into the
Speaker 1: cafe at Barnes and Noble, I remember following Matt and
Speaker 1: he's like, he's coming up here now, and I was like,
Speaker 1: and he said that, and I just go, I don't
Speaker 1: like him anymore. It's I don't. It's like I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like him, and it freaked me out.
Speaker 1: I felt so bad because I wouldn't. I didn't expect that.
Speaker 1: That's why I relate. That is why I relate to
Speaker 1: men who after they have sex, they just stopped liking
Speaker 1: you and they don't know why they can't control it.
Speaker 1: I did not want to Dug to break up with
Speaker 1: his girlfriend so I could go, I don't like you anymore.
Speaker 1: I just was repulsed by him overnight, and repulsed only
Speaker 1: because I had to now be intimate with someone. It
Speaker 1: wasn't anything to do with him being repulsive. I was like,
Speaker 1: and oh, man, was he bummed out because I couldn't
Speaker 1: tell him I didn't like him. I just changed and
Speaker 1: never would be alone with him and never so and
Speaker 1: we never talked about it. It was all like our
Speaker 1: friends talking to us about it. So he quickly got
Speaker 1: the hint that I was not into it, and boy
Speaker 1: was that probably disappointing to him. Um, and it's a
Speaker 1: it's a curse that has stayed with me for a
Speaker 1: while of like thinking that you know, is being scared
Speaker 1: that if I like a guy and he likes me,
Speaker 1: I'm going to change, and it has happened in the future.
Speaker 1: But um, now that I actually like myself if someone
Speaker 1: likes me, I'm like, oh good, you're you finally got
Speaker 1: a good job. As before, I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to I'm not joking you. That quote about I don't
Speaker 1: want to belong in the same club that would have
Speaker 1: me that it was, you know, Gratcho Marks, but Woody
Speaker 1: Allen said it in um Annie Hall, I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: I thought of that exact joke in eighth grade before.
Speaker 1: I've never seen any Hall. I'd never heard that quote before.
Speaker 1: And I was decorating a bulletin board with my friends
Speaker 1: and I said to my friend, do you ever feel
Speaker 1: like a guy if they like you, you don't like
Speaker 1: them because they have bad taste and you like, wouldn't
Speaker 1: like a guy that would like someone like you? And
Speaker 1: they were like, what the funk is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking that was ironic and funny, and
Speaker 1: then what Allen stole it from me? I mean Gratcho
Speaker 1: Marks retroactively. All right, let's get Andrew in here. It's
Speaker 1: a fans Rax episode. I'm decided to get to it. Andrew,
Speaker 1: What up, Drew Sky? Yeah? Oh new pants are nice,
Speaker 1: comfortable dude. I just saw a thing about a guy
Speaker 1: posted on Reddit that he got in trouble because his
Speaker 1: his manager called him into the office. He was wearing
Speaker 1: pants quite like that, and he took a picture of
Speaker 1: them to post to say, do you always see a
Speaker 1: problem with this? He got in trouble for his bulge
Speaker 1: and they said you need to wear looser pants because
Speaker 1: your bolt and he goes. I've he goes. And by
Speaker 1: the way, I have an advertised penis. I just googled
Speaker 1: the size and like it's because he's not from this
Speaker 1: country and the pants were not tight at all. It
Speaker 1: was insane, but he's Um. Everyone in the subreddit, you know,
Speaker 1: commenting was like you have a lawsuit on your hands. Like,
Speaker 1: no woman if if a woman got told to put
Speaker 1: her boobs away because there was too much like you know,
Speaker 1: like they're not showing them, but they're like like your
Speaker 1: shirts are too tight, yeah, or your camel toe, it
Speaker 1: would be an issue. Well, luckily my dick's inside my body,
Speaker 1: so um, I'll keep that. Yeah. No, have you ever
Speaker 1: been distracted by bulge? Oh? I think I said it
Speaker 1: on the show. I used to ride the subway and
Speaker 1: look at men's bulges, like in the morning to see
Speaker 1: who had morning would Oh, yes, that's right, you did
Speaker 1: a game. I never did that. But have you ever
Speaker 1: worked with someone that um you saw there or like
Speaker 1: a friend where you're like, come on, man, oh I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Was it hard to get
Speaker 1: work done? I mean it was like kind of gross,
Speaker 1: I guess, but also distracting, So I guess yeah I was.
Speaker 1: Did you get the U? Was it a hard time
Speaker 1: doing your job? The blow draw? Well, okay, I think
Speaker 1: it depends if I was, if that's what I was
Speaker 1: there for, or uh yeah, I was just there to
Speaker 1: do something so funny about a guy buying pants and
Speaker 1: he's like, I just I got a huge cock? And
Speaker 1: do you have extra roots? Actually? Those Lulu lemons a
Speaker 1: B C S. I think it's stands for like I mean,
Speaker 1: I've always thought, oh yes, yeah, it's like all balls
Speaker 1: are are allowed in here? Yeah, are customary for I
Speaker 1: don't know, yeah, weled it? Yeah we both have. Do
Speaker 1: we have COVID? I don't know. I got a COVID
Speaker 1: test this morning. I told you about it. It was
Speaker 1: an abandoned parking lot. A girl came out a bandit
Speaker 1: ish like it's in the our corner. Were not exaggerate, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna exaggerate at off, And I'm only asking
Speaker 1: that so I can just know. I just I just
Speaker 1: want the real story. Okay, so I Google I think
Speaker 1: I have COVID potentially because I'm only getting sicker now
Speaker 1: that I think I have COVID potentially because I'm only
Speaker 1: getting sicker. I did, but I misspelled potentially and then
Speaker 1: led me to this abandoned parking lot which wasn't abandoned.
Speaker 1: So the parking lot was there was three cars in it.
Speaker 1: It's like a tent, like a makeshift tent. It's a
Speaker 1: little bit bigger than the like almost where you would
Speaker 1: sign up for, like a race if they were handing
Speaker 1: out like you know, if volunteers were being like, come
Speaker 1: over here to sign up for the corner of the
Speaker 1: like a blue tent with like sides. There are a
Speaker 1: little bit of sides when I'm telling you these things
Speaker 1: on the verge of falling, like sitting. There's a table.
Speaker 1: I didn't go into the table. You just parked next
Speaker 1: to it. Do you see inside the tent? Isn't it
Speaker 1: very okay? Got it? And there's there's no real doors.
Speaker 1: You have a sign that says COVID tests. Yes, there
Speaker 1: is a sign that says free PCR COVID test. Is
Speaker 1: it written on a cardboard box with sharpie and it
Speaker 1: says for ten dollars in a blow job, you can
Speaker 1: find out you're negative. So you could go into that
Speaker 1: Pearl Jam concert. I think that's what the signet said.
Speaker 1: So I paid ten dollars and I didn't come because
Speaker 1: it's all no, no, no. So it's free, which is
Speaker 1: another thing that's like rapid PCR rapid free tests, seventy
Speaker 1: five for one dude. This seems so illegitimate. I can't
Speaker 1: even it's fine because you want to it, I think,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't. I'll go, but I know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get. It's going to be negative because this
Speaker 1: is sounds. But they're not asking for money. Hundreds of
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, they're not asking for money. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: I've had hundreds of COVID tests. Not once has anyone
Speaker 1: handed me a swab and said do it yourself. Get there.
Speaker 1: So then I drive up. She's in her car, she's
Speaker 1: not even in the tent. She gets out of the car.
Speaker 1: It's got a mask on jeans and a middrift showing
Speaker 1: like yeah, and she walks up. She goes parked over there.
Speaker 1: She's wearing a mask, not well street mask, street mask
Speaker 1: and not well, so she walks up and she goes, uh,
Speaker 1: you here for a test, and I was like yeah.
Speaker 1: She goes all right, sounds like prostitute solicit, like it
Speaker 1: felt very prostitute. Yeah, yeah, like yeah, she's leaning into
Speaker 1: the car. Yeah, she goes park around the corner. Yea, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, stick this in your sing I think if
Speaker 1: we fugged, I'd be positive. No, so I end up.
Speaker 1: She goes she gives me the thing and AIDS test
Speaker 1: where it's just you know people with AIDS that fuck you,
Speaker 1: and then they go you're positive. Yeah the test we know.
Speaker 1: We just know now, Like that doctor with the HPV
Speaker 1: from the other day, he used his magic flute. Yes,
Speaker 1: so she was yeah, he was hearing HPV. Then he
Speaker 1: had it because he was giving he was fucking girls
Speaker 1: with it. You know. His claim is that he had
Speaker 1: the at the vaccine, so he was sucking the vaccine.
Speaker 1: So she walks up. I'm a little weirded out. She
Speaker 1: gives me though. She gives me a thing to scan,
Speaker 1: so I scan it. That seemed real where I put
Speaker 1: my information in it and put my email in that's
Speaker 1: where that's what they're getting for free. They did for
Speaker 1: my mom's social Security number. Do you have to do
Speaker 1: any like? Nothing weird nothing so security number, nothing like that,
Speaker 1: nothing like that. So I fill it out. She goes,
Speaker 1: she comes back, she gives me the swab. I I
Speaker 1: put my nose out for her to swab me up.
Speaker 1: She goes, no, you just do it. I swabbed. She
Speaker 1: goes five, four or three to one, give it back,
Speaker 1: and then she goes, all right, and then I go
Speaker 1: to do and she goes, no, no, no, and then
Speaker 1: she gives me another star. Never had known, oh to
Speaker 1: swab to swabs, I guess one for each test. So
Speaker 1: then she puts the one in the thing. And then
Speaker 1: I see her walking with the other swab for the
Speaker 1: rapid test. I'm sure just holding it without putting it
Speaker 1: into plastics so she doesn't have to do that. I'm
Speaker 1: contaminated on the way there, like, yeah, you gotta put
Speaker 1: it in a tube. She's like, you have bird flew
Speaker 1: that flew onto this fucking Oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: so has I wonder. So she came back. How minutes
Speaker 1: let's really, I'm not kidding. It was short. It was
Speaker 1: shorter two wells okay, so four and a half minutes.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing we've we get these a lot, these
Speaker 1: rapid tests because the camera. She came back faster than that,
Speaker 1: and she said, your rapids negative. You're gonna get the
Speaker 1: other test in hours. Take off your pop ups in
Speaker 1: your settings. And I don't know why she had me
Speaker 1: do that, so then she I don't know, so I
Speaker 1: wouldn't get spam or something. So I ended up. Look,
Speaker 1: now I think your phone has the virus. Now take
Speaker 1: pop ups off your phone. I mean, we gotta gotta
Speaker 1: figure out what this operation is because but I looked
Speaker 1: at I looked at the reviews, solid reviews. But everyone's happy.
Speaker 1: I guess everyone's happy because of how efficient it is.
Speaker 1: It's so efficient because they don't do it. It sounds suspectius. Here,
Speaker 1: I'll show you the I'll do the cod so your
Speaker 1: head just I'm trying to whenever you get sick or
Speaker 1: you get some sort of ailment, I'm always interested in,
Speaker 1: like how it manifests. Like I I obviously have been
Speaker 1: sick before, but like when you're like I don't feel well,
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you feel is it a headache? You're
Speaker 1: like no, Like is it a stomach ache? No, your
Speaker 1: head is stuffy if I know your head is stuffy,
Speaker 1: is very annoying to have, but it doesn't it doesn't hurt. Yes,
Speaker 1: so where does it hurt? Just forehead like it's a headache,
Speaker 1: hurd or is it just a know, like a pressure
Speaker 1: just because this is what you describe your panic attacks to,
Speaker 1: like your head's gonna explode. No, this is sick. I
Speaker 1: was sick. No, but I know. But is it the
Speaker 1: same kind of pressure? Oh no, it's different panic attack pressure.
Speaker 1: I can't even describe. It feels like it's all over
Speaker 1: your head. When you ask me how I can wiggle
Speaker 1: my ears and I go, I don't know how panic Yeah,
Speaker 1: well you're doing it, but I don't know how. I
Speaker 1: feel like i'm moving them to and they don't. No,
Speaker 1: what can you wiggle your ears? There's no wiggle going on?
Speaker 1: You have no or you don't know there's no wiggle.
Speaker 1: You just feel like a strain in your ear. And
Speaker 1: that means I just don't you know. Some people can
Speaker 1: just do it. But yeah, okay, So I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to understand feelings because I feel no. I think like
Speaker 1: sometimes they're like when I tell you I'm sick, you
Speaker 1: like almost want to like this belief. It no the
Speaker 1: way reason, not at all the reason I asked questions.
Speaker 1: I really promise you. I know that if you're sick,
Speaker 1: you're sick like you do not get sick out. I
Speaker 1: just want to understand what it is because sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 1: do I feel sick? And maybe I do get sick
Speaker 1: and I just don't know it because I'm just so
Speaker 1: not in touch with my feelings or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be like I work when I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that's not the VI I'm trying to put
Speaker 1: out there. I'm just trying to say, like I don't
Speaker 1: know what it feels like. I don't know what a
Speaker 1: cold feel like. I know what it's like to be
Speaker 1: like sniffle y, but it doesn't. It's just annoying that
Speaker 1: I can't breathe out of my nose. It's not like
Speaker 1: I feel does it feel like you can't think? I
Speaker 1: felt I felt like I couldn't think. Vision gets a
Speaker 1: little bit, uh funked up a little bit. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: were out of it last night. I mean like we
Speaker 1: were what we were watching Seinfeld. Brenna came over after
Speaker 1: work and we're all like we were just hanging out
Speaker 1: and um, you put on Seinfeld and it was a
Speaker 1: great episode of Uh when Elaine record, it's a sexy
Speaker 1: voice like Jerry's recording. Is here your sexiest voice? Um,
Speaker 1: if I was trying to do like h like, if
Speaker 1: I was trying to do hey, like, I would probably
Speaker 1: do more baby because men like babies now as opposed
Speaker 1: to like her voice was like a huy. I think
Speaker 1: you got to go more seductive, like lower, like like
Speaker 1: like like will you invest in my blood transfusion? It's yeah.
Speaker 1: If I come out in some scrubs that aren't nurse
Speaker 1: scrubs but they were at one point, but I bought
Speaker 1: them from Goodwill, Yes, Um, yeah, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I guess my sexiest voice is like I get like
Speaker 1: this like when I'm like trying to be like when
Speaker 1: I'm like being like do you want like do you want?
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I guess I just kind of
Speaker 1: do it like this. Like but I feel like whenever
Speaker 1: I'm being like sexiest, it's like I'm like it's kind
Speaker 1: of like I'm a baby because I like to be dominated,
Speaker 1: so I'm a little bit more like I don't know,
Speaker 1: so it would be a hot guy's voice if I
Speaker 1: was like, uh, take your shirt off, like it be
Speaker 1: kind of disciplinary, like you think that you deserve to
Speaker 1: come right now? Um, that's so cute. Oh I love
Speaker 1: that you think you do. Like it's it's caring but
Speaker 1: like a little dismissive but like um ah, you're so
Speaker 1: like it's not it's not um the oh isn't sarcastic,
Speaker 1: but it's like it's nurturing, like you poor thing, Like,
Speaker 1: oh you want to come? All that's so cute? Well
Speaker 1: do you think you deserve to? Like it's like that interesting.
Speaker 1: It's so weird. I'm very weird. I feel very awkward
Speaker 1: when I start like giving demands in the bedroom. You know,
Speaker 1: like yeah, you like that, you like that, you a
Speaker 1: little slat, you like that, Like it just feels very funny.
Speaker 1: It feels funny, silly, and it just feels like you
Speaker 1: ever feel like has there ever been a moment where
Speaker 1: you did get into it and you were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've got because were sometimes you were like oh, I
Speaker 1: like you know, choked her a little bit and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh it felt really good too. I like getting dominant.
Speaker 1: See you like to be dominant. I like choking a
Speaker 1: little too, just because she you know, she responds to yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's not like my go to move, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not like my first instinct isn't to be like
Speaker 1: I'm kicking over. Yes, you know. What's your vibe in bed?
Speaker 1: Do you like to be very Britney Spears? But I
Speaker 1: know you have like, Oops, I did it again, but
Speaker 1: I'm so much what's the one toxic? No, toxic isn't
Speaker 1: an air that's oops, I did it again. Where she's
Speaker 1: wearing the it's no, I's wearing like a lime green
Speaker 1: like neon green kind of turtle tight turtleneck. But it
Speaker 1: looks exactly like the Britney Spears read one that she wore. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Yes, um no, what is your
Speaker 1: style in bed? Do you like? I like snakes in bed,
Speaker 1: holding them up and dancing around with them like oh,
Speaker 1: I was like, what is she going with on this?
Speaker 1: Get them? I don't know. I mean, they're they're probably
Speaker 1: are snakes just in your bed. You gotta be into
Speaker 1: them if you live in the in Arizona in the
Speaker 1: arid zone. Um what yeah, I think like, Um, I
Speaker 1: definitely like to be dominated. I like to be the bottom,
Speaker 1: and whenever I tried being the top or like the
Speaker 1: dominant one, I just felt like I was faking it.
Speaker 1: So yes, And I think it just depends on the
Speaker 1: partner too, because I did have one good experience with it,
Speaker 1: with being the dominant one. Yeah, I would like I
Speaker 1: you know, the more I'm thinking about like bringing another
Speaker 1: girl into the mix with the the guy I'm seeing
Speaker 1: in me, or like ever being with a girl, I
Speaker 1: think then I would want to be the dominant one.
Speaker 1: Like I when I think about like my crush on
Speaker 1: like Taylor Swift, I want to like comfort her and
Speaker 1: I want to be like the man in that relationship,
Speaker 1: and I want to be like, are you okay after
Speaker 1: your show? Like I in a relationship with a woman,
Speaker 1: I think I would want to be the asculate, like
Speaker 1: I would want to dress like this, and but in
Speaker 1: a in a relationship with the man, I like to
Speaker 1: be the girl. And so I think that I like,
Speaker 1: I like both and I'm not you know, I think
Speaker 1: that maybe that's where I've kind of uh been reluctant
Speaker 1: to ever be in a relationship with a woman or
Speaker 1: even pursue something because I I am always thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: I need a woman that's kind of like a man
Speaker 1: to because when women hit on me that are like
Speaker 1: more is butch, like a dirocatory term with a more
Speaker 1: masculine energy woman, I generally like, I'm like always flattered,
Speaker 1: but I get uncomfortable because but you said you want
Speaker 1: to be a man, and I think that's why it's
Speaker 1: I've always associated like, oh, I'm probably couldn't be an
Speaker 1: a lisbian relationship because if I wanted to, it would
Speaker 1: happen because I get come, Like you know, lesbians come
Speaker 1: on to me a lot. But I think that I
Speaker 1: that's the wrong role for me in that scenario. And
Speaker 1: I'm literally just realizing that. But I whenever I fantasize
Speaker 1: about or like I see like my self hooking up
Speaker 1: with a girl, it's like me being like the one
Speaker 1: that's like, oh, you think you're gonna like me being that? Yes,
Speaker 1: what do you mean is that only if there's a
Speaker 1: or if you were with a woman alone? Do you
Speaker 1: think alone? But with a guy, I would want to
Speaker 1: like be like a team. I love. That's my favorite
Speaker 1: porn is when a woman and a man are working
Speaker 1: together to make a girl come and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: like that's my favorite porn is two people doing stuff
Speaker 1: to a woman so that they can talk amongst each
Speaker 1: other about her being like she's oh look at her,
Speaker 1: she's struggling. Oh you want to come? You do think
Speaker 1: you deserve to? And then they both like get in
Speaker 1: on it. It's very um. There's just stick almost Sorry,
Speaker 1: there's one porn that I shut up. Noah, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna get that Jesus Christ. Sorry, look at her,
Speaker 1: she can't even talk that good? Uh no, what were
Speaker 1: gonna say this this one? I was going to say,
Speaker 1: there's a porn that I've been thinking about a lot.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even know who's in it. But it was
Speaker 1: too um. It was a married couple and they were
Speaker 1: sucking the babysitter and it was exactly the scenario that
Speaker 1: you just painted. And I loved it. Will you send
Speaker 1: it to me? I can't find again someone to help,
Speaker 1: damn um. Like the the the guy has like a goatee,
Speaker 1: he's very ugly looking as usual. Yes, the wife has
Speaker 1: like curly brown hair, and the babysitters like this tiny
Speaker 1: little blonde girl. Yes, and they're just like sucking her
Speaker 1: like crazy. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah and how's the kid
Speaker 1: doing crying? I'm not watching that kind of porn. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's so funny. The kids where where are
Speaker 1: the kid drowning in the pool? In the pool of
Speaker 1: com um? God? Yeah, that's the that's that. The problem
Speaker 1: is I I just require so much of Like I
Speaker 1: don't like watching high school football versions of porn. I
Speaker 1: need to watch people at the elite level doing the
Speaker 1: craziest stuff, like just if there's not if she's not
Speaker 1: doing anal, I don't want it's it's it's literally worthless
Speaker 1: to me if there's no, And it's not because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I love anals so much. I just need to see
Speaker 1: someone who's who's more impressive than I am, Like I
Speaker 1: have to. I don't want to watch people who are
Speaker 1: as good at things as I am. I want to
Speaker 1: see like the next level. There's something about amateur that
Speaker 1: it's pretty hot. I don't know, the shitty like camera angles. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if they're doing Wait, do you like our friend Ramy
Speaker 1: has that bit about that he's he doesn't think he's gay,
Speaker 1: but there's dicks that he likes in porn. Are there
Speaker 1: vaginas that you like and don't like in porn that
Speaker 1: turn you on more. No, they're all the same to me. Really,
Speaker 1: that's um. Yeah, I definitely there's certain like I like
Speaker 1: what I like, what I look like. Honestly, that tends
Speaker 1: to be like my favorite. But that's just my preth
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news first. Oh, it's Thursday, folks.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. It is Thursday. I hope
Speaker 1: you're having all the swells, even you, Mike. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know there's a mic listening. I know. That'd be so
Speaker 1: cool if I heard that when I was listening Dave yesterday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't you get certain you'd only do it a men. No,
Speaker 1: I know, because I'm sexist, I'm misogynists. Australia's most famous
Speaker 1: identical twins, who eat, sleep and showers with their shared fiance,
Speaker 1: have now revealed their plan to pregnant at the same
Speaker 1: time they share a fiance. Oh I know too, that
Speaker 1: share another and they want to get pregnant on the
Speaker 1: same day. Okay, this is a lucky guy. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's wild. I bet they will get pregnant on the
Speaker 1: same day. I mean, but their cycles are insanely syncd up.
Speaker 1: Can you see him in on the Noah I want
Speaker 1: to see these girls. Can you show me a picture
Speaker 1: of them? Manager they're not They're not bad like him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looks like the cast of the Jersey Shore. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: these are the girls I wouldn't watch in porn. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like these giant fake tits. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've got I've gotta guess those are fake. Um, that
Speaker 1: guy isn't that cute? Does he have money? What does
Speaker 1: he do? I bet they'll get you know, twins have
Speaker 1: a weird thing that I'm not gonna lie. I'm a
Speaker 1: little bit jealous of this person that you share everything
Speaker 1: with like you are. It's just really cool. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's creepy to a lot of people.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that this is that weird that
Speaker 1: they would both they both want to be with the
Speaker 1: same person, and that they look the same. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: take it as like he's more into her, like, you know,
Speaker 1: the physical thing is like I don't know. I I
Speaker 1: want to say this is so weird, but I actually
Speaker 1: kind of I don't think it is. Do you know
Speaker 1: the Bella twins, Yes, so they had uh like like
Speaker 1: both of them were pregnant around the same time. Yes,
Speaker 1: those girls have a podcast, my friend Rose but it
Speaker 1: was on it recently. And then I got into like
Speaker 1: looking at all of their like clips and stuff, and
Speaker 1: they're so beautiful and so cute. And I actually have
Speaker 1: Nikki Bella's Dancing with Stars Rode because she left it
Speaker 1: behind the season before mine and it said Nikki on it,
Speaker 1: so I stole it. Um she uh. And then she
Speaker 1: she married her dance part Artum. Yeah, she married her
Speaker 1: dance partner, who you know, they were like both in
Speaker 1: relationships when they were dancing together, but they fell in love,
Speaker 1: just like Robert Hehrshevik and his dance partner. There's people
Speaker 1: that are like still together from that show. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of sexual energy. But the twins, I've
Speaker 1: always was jealous of twins. I wonder when who met
Speaker 1: the guy first. I wonder how that worked out. I
Speaker 1: bet you anything they put. They don't do anything apart.
Speaker 1: I mean these girls, you see some twins, they don't
Speaker 1: do anything apart. I think I'd want to live across
Speaker 1: the country from You don't know that, like you if
Speaker 1: you were a twin right now, yeah, that would make sense.
Speaker 1: But like when they're you're it's a different thing that
Speaker 1: you don't understand. We can't possibly understand. I remember the
Speaker 1: book Stumbling Bond Happiness that everyone was reading back in
Speaker 1: like two thousand nine when it came out. They were
Speaker 1: talking about how these can join twins. Everyone just assumes
Speaker 1: like they're miserable, you know. They they are two girls
Speaker 1: that have like their heads shooting out of the same neck,
Speaker 1: and they're just always next to each other and like
Speaker 1: they you know, obviously don't do anything apart, and they
Speaker 1: can have separate lives because they're one. They share the
Speaker 1: same fucking heart. They don't want if they got separated,
Speaker 1: one of them might die. They don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: and everyone just like goes, God, that would be awful.
Speaker 1: I can't believe that. But they're generally they're like happier
Speaker 1: than most people because they don't know any different. That's
Speaker 1: all they know. And so it's something about so much
Speaker 1: of your happiness is based upon what you have once
Speaker 1: experience and then lose, or what you think you might want.
Speaker 1: But these girls don't have no concept of what it
Speaker 1: would be like to be an individual person. And if we,
Speaker 1: just as a human race, all had two heads, sticking
Speaker 1: out of our necks. We would also feel weird if
Speaker 1: we saw one person to be like, oh, that would
Speaker 1: suck to be alone. Like it's all that really blew
Speaker 1: my mind though, and blew my minds. I mean, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: both of them. Um. It is interesting though that they
Speaker 1: didn't find another set of identical twins, like they just
Speaker 1: they've had a lot, but they just oh, of those
Speaker 1: two girls. Know that there's Um, if you go to
Speaker 1: my Instagram and go to the thing called watch TV
Speaker 1: with me, there was a one night I was watching
Speaker 1: something on you know, TLC, and it was two twins
Speaker 1: that met two twins, and that would make more sense
Speaker 1: than just sharing one guy. But I guess if you
Speaker 1: do everything together, and like I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: I would not care at all if there was someone
Speaker 1: else that looked exactly like me and I loved hanging
Speaker 1: out with, I would not want to get married because
Speaker 1: I'd miss hanging out with my best friend. And if
Speaker 1: we both it wouldn't take from me because you you
Speaker 1: know what I think it is. There's this really trippy
Speaker 1: thing that I realized one time where I was like
Speaker 1: so jealous of girls in my high school. This is
Speaker 1: another eighth grade Nikki moment that kind of made me realize,
Speaker 1: like I had a um epiphany of self back in
Speaker 1: eighth grade that I just barely grasped onto. But sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to describe it. But like
Speaker 1: I used to get so jealous of popular girls and
Speaker 1: like what they had and what their lives and how
Speaker 1: happy they were and how boys like them and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I was like, really, they're me. If you can
Speaker 1: think of what I'm saying, it's like I am. There's
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to describe it, but there
Speaker 1: was something that gave me souls if you even understand
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say out there, anyone that's talking
Speaker 1: about this, we're all one, like they're no different. The
Speaker 1: only reason that they are them is beca as I'm
Speaker 1: attributing a self to them that is separate, but we're
Speaker 1: all like I could be them too. I don't even
Speaker 1: I can't even describe it. Now. There was something about
Speaker 1: like I that's why I don't get jealous so much
Speaker 1: of people. It really sometimes something cuts through it of
Speaker 1: where it's like I could they're they're gonna die. Maybe
Speaker 1: there's something of like they're gonna die to someday we're
Speaker 1: all one, like, but we're all there's no there's no me.
Speaker 1: I am just a computer of cells that are like operating.
Speaker 1: I don't have control over it. It's not up to
Speaker 1: me what my heart does, what my breathing, Like I
Speaker 1: can't control my breathing. I can't want I can't control
Speaker 1: my breathing. But you know, you don't control what your
Speaker 1: brain is. Like there was something almost about like the
Speaker 1: no free will of it, all of I didn't choose
Speaker 1: to be in this body. The girl that I'm thinking
Speaker 1: has a perfect like Brittany Burke that was, you know,
Speaker 1: the girl that I always wanted to be. She didn't
Speaker 1: choose to be in Brittany Burke's body and have her
Speaker 1: life like I could be her for all anyone knows
Speaker 1: I am her? Do that makes sense? People look at me?
Speaker 1: That's it? If I look at you and Noah and
Speaker 1: you're two separate people to me, how do I know?
Speaker 1: Like your soul is you and like like it doesn't
Speaker 1: You're I don't even know what I'm like sounding like
Speaker 1: I'm on psychedelics right now. But there was just some
Speaker 1: epiphany I had where I was like we're all on
Speaker 1: one thing. We're all one organism, just gigantic. I don't
Speaker 1: even know. That doesn't capture it for me, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. We're all capable of what the other person
Speaker 1: is doing, all just not selves were not I'm not me.
Speaker 1: I'm just a thing that's living. So you know what
Speaker 1: it is. It's not so if I'm jealous of you, Noah,
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm not I'm not you. You're not
Speaker 1: you either. You're just a thing like you're not you,
Speaker 1: like we there's not You're not inside your brain like
Speaker 1: a little alien, like controlling the can trolls and being
Speaker 1: like I love being in here. I'm like a little
Speaker 1: guy that's like in this awesome spaceship. You're just a
Speaker 1: thing that exists, that's like moving. It's like, yes, you
Speaker 1: have feelings and all of these things, but it's not
Speaker 1: like you got that. You're just it just exists. It's
Speaker 1: like being jealous of a fucking chair or something like.
Speaker 1: It's like that. I don't I don't know how to
Speaker 1: describe it. If anyone has any idea what the funk
Speaker 1: I'm talking about, please some literature on it, because I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's some philosopher or some fucking meditation that is
Speaker 1: talking about this, but like, we are not. Sam Harris
Speaker 1: always says, you're not inside your head watching a movie
Speaker 1: as this person. You're not like, you're not you, You're
Speaker 1: just a body and consciousness is this idea that you
Speaker 1: think you're a you, but you're not. We're not if you.
Speaker 1: That's when people have like an ego death, because an
Speaker 1: ego is a sense of I, I am me, like
Speaker 1: I have a I have a something too, Like I
Speaker 1: want able to think I'm good because I'm I'm responsible
Speaker 1: for this thing. But you're really not, Like you're just
Speaker 1: a fucking chair. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I'm bored by myself to be honest with you. I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry. I think if you there's a quote on
Speaker 1: the wall of Jimmy John's that will what are free smells?
Speaker 1: Are they free? Are they yours? I don't know. Um.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about a twin, though, be tough. If
Speaker 1: one was way more successful than the other one. I
Speaker 1: I have friends that are twins. They're kind of identical.
Speaker 1: One's a huge country star. One sells insurance back home.
Speaker 1: By the way, did you ask that twin country star,
Speaker 1: but I needed you to ask him. I ask him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been doing some I've been doing some digging on
Speaker 1: my girl, and I don't I just want to know
Speaker 1: I have an insider track that I can get insider
Speaker 1: info about my girl that I'm not I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: getting because it's not my business. But I do know
Speaker 1: someone that did cross paths with someone early on who
Speaker 1: may have inspired one of my favorite songs. And I
Speaker 1: need to know if it's him, and if they did
Speaker 1: have a moment and if they did, what what happened? Business?
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry girl. Maybe it was his insurance selling brother.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was his brother but a better insurance selling brother.
Speaker 1: Didn't want to be a country star, or did he?
Speaker 1: Did he try? He was very good at sports, as
Speaker 1: well as his brother, But did we get them on stage?
Speaker 1: Sometimes he can't sing, okay, So did he did he
Speaker 1: want that? I think he wouldn't mind being a celebrity.
Speaker 1: I don't know what for my sister is. I always
Speaker 1: thought identical twin, I understand that. Yeah, imagine if you're
Speaker 1: identical twin was either more famous than you or way.
Speaker 1: Richard bothered me as much because I'd go, I could
Speaker 1: do the same thing as them. I just didn't want
Speaker 1: it because I'm the same body Like it would convince
Speaker 1: me more of like I could have that if I
Speaker 1: wanted it. Well, I'm guessing that to this point with
Speaker 1: these twins, they seem to be like everything's the same,
Speaker 1: So then there will be no jealousy, there will be
Speaker 1: no envy. We shared the same guy, We share the
Speaker 1: same which is an interesting way to approach it. But
Speaker 1: my sister would get things that I didn't get, boys
Speaker 1: liking her, people complimenting her looking like just having clear skin.
Speaker 1: It was like, I can't she's she's. It made me
Speaker 1: so mad because it's like I can't I don't have
Speaker 1: her same skin. But if we were identical twins, everything
Speaker 1: she got would seem within my possibility, and I would
Speaker 1: just get it too. If you had acne, she didn't.
Speaker 1: Identical twins don't have different then I would start cleaning
Speaker 1: my pillowcases or whatever she did, you know, like we
Speaker 1: were we should have the same thing. Um, all right,
Speaker 1: well sorry for that tangent. Let's take a short break
Speaker 1: and come back with UM. And I thought it was
Speaker 1: why do I care? But it's our weekly sports about
Speaker 1: it all right, we're back, give it to me The
Speaker 1: sports moment tears Andrew's weekly supports moment. Charles Barkley, of course,
Speaker 1: appeared on a podcast and told the host he named
Speaker 1: his daughter christ Christina Christine wait Christianna Christianna after a
Speaker 1: Delaware mall. He likes. There's a Christiana mall in Delaware
Speaker 1: that I always used to go by. That's how she
Speaker 1: got her name. Christianna actually said, you know what, that's
Speaker 1: better than looking it up in a baby book and
Speaker 1: me like, I just saw this name and I liked
Speaker 1: it on a baby website. I like this quote though.
Speaker 1: This is why he's so related. He's one of the
Speaker 1: most relatable sportscasters I think. When the host as why
Speaker 1: Barkley chose the name, he replied, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just liked them all, dude, I love it perfect. I
Speaker 1: um yeah, I'm looking forward to having a baby my baby.
Speaker 1: Galleria sounds like a STDA West County mall, Fairfield County
Speaker 1: lit mall. I don't mind that. I think that's cute.
Speaker 1: And Christiana is a cute is a beautiful with a
Speaker 1: great It's a regular name. It's not like what would
Speaker 1: you would you right now, what would you name? Part
Speaker 1: of me would want to name it Marvin. Oh, I
Speaker 1: love that name. What's your grandma's name? By the way,
Speaker 1: Andrew's grandma, Um passed away two days ago yesterday, yesterday,
Speaker 1: at the age of one hundred. Amazing that when was
Speaker 1: her hundredth birthday. I don't know the exact day, but
Speaker 1: we had a zoom party for a hundred. So she
Speaker 1: died at one hundred. She made it a triple digits.
Speaker 1: Not one on one. Wow, that's so cool. Yeah, not
Speaker 1: one on one the buzz, just a hundred point seven
Speaker 1: the bull. Um. Wait. A second name was she? She
Speaker 1: lived in amazing life. She was amazing. Grammar Shirley, she's
Speaker 1: from Chicago. Originally is a cool name. She was married
Speaker 1: to my grandpa, Henry. Henry is a very That name
Speaker 1: is coming back pretty strong. Edna was a name I
Speaker 1: met this weekend at a meeting. Great and I go
Speaker 1: the fuck a young girl named Edna? Ago, were you
Speaker 1: named after a grandma? And she was like no, just
Speaker 1: and I loved it. Love that my grandma. Some fun
Speaker 1: facts she would uh. She my grandpa Henry, who passed
Speaker 1: away I don't know, maybe fifty years ago, and you know,
Speaker 1: he had a distinct look. He had a white mustache
Speaker 1: that my grandma like would make him grow, and he'd
Speaker 1: always wear like aviators. And he passed away, and uh,
Speaker 1: she got a new boyfriend pretty quickly. I mean they
Speaker 1: say to wait, I don't know half your relationship. She
Speaker 1: should have waited another forty years, but she waited about
Speaker 1: four minutes. I think she met the guy at the
Speaker 1: test and he's one of the Paul Bears. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: you're digging a grave. You seemed like a night chie.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah. So he ends up she ends up dating
Speaker 1: this guy. He was a doctor's guy, nat and we
Speaker 1: never met him. First time we met him, he gets
Speaker 1: out of this like gets out of the car and
Speaker 1: my grandma. Every old man kind of tends to look
Speaker 1: alike in a way. They all, especially if they get
Speaker 1: like white hair, comes out with a white mustache and aviators.
Speaker 1: It's my grandpa, my grandpa. She just good for her.
Speaker 1: She like slim shadied it like she just like, uh
Speaker 1: love that what's it called? When um uh, what's that
Speaker 1: movie with Matt Damon where he like turns into the
Speaker 1: guy after he died. She pounded Mr Ripley her dead husband,
Speaker 1: who was amazing. My grandma hen was incredible. So this
Speaker 1: new guy was, Um, I'm trying to like. He was
Speaker 1: just like a strong like I don't know. He farted
Speaker 1: in golf when we play golf and during your back swing.
Speaker 1: Hilarious reason why someone's incredible. Yeah, yeah, he would fart
Speaker 1: and then he'd go like in your back Grandpa. I
Speaker 1: got close with my grandma later in life when they
Speaker 1: lived with her because I lived across the street with
Speaker 1: her and my other my grandma, Thelma, who wasn't They
Speaker 1: lived across the street from Grandma, but they were divorce.
Speaker 1: My parents were divorced, but they stayed. Your grandma stayed friend.
Speaker 1: The housing market kept my grandparents together, but not my parents.
Speaker 1: So um no, my grandma Henry was amazing man. He
Speaker 1: just was like but I didn't. I honestly like, I
Speaker 1: didn't like him that well, like Marvin's your other grandpa
Speaker 1: and Thelma. Soelma's a great name Jesus Christ. So then
Speaker 1: Nat dies, then my grandma gets another guy, this guy
Speaker 1: Sal white mustache Henry, Nat and Sal Henryn and Sal
Speaker 1: and then she banged him to death. Did you guys
Speaker 1: say anything to your grandma about this, you joke like
Speaker 1: a black widow that like, well that like these guys
Speaker 1: look like our grandpa. We would joke with my mom
Speaker 1: and stuff. I never really joked with my grandma about it,
Speaker 1: but my grandma. So I moved across the street. I
Speaker 1: started doing stand up a lot for the first time
Speaker 1: living across from her, and she got she was a
Speaker 1: real estate agent. She got really into theater, wanting to
Speaker 1: perform like in her seventies, like very like very late,
Speaker 1: and and she like started these plays and she was
Speaker 1: so like dramatic and like jazz hands. I never saw
Speaker 1: the play, but like it was like it was just
Speaker 1: amazing that like we'd see you know, photos and video
Speaker 1: of it of her just starring and being the star.
Speaker 1: And like later in life, like she became like Grace
Speaker 1: Kelly of her club. That's so cute. And so she
Speaker 1: would tell me, she's like, because I started staying up
Speaker 1: at thirty, like, yeah, it might seem late, but it's
Speaker 1: not late. I really see you being a star and like,
Speaker 1: you know, things your grandma would say. But she's like
Speaker 1: I didn't do it, Like she was inspirational in that way,
Speaker 1: and uh, I don't know. Yeah, She was amazing. She
Speaker 1: really was just so kind and always just I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's weird with your grandparents because you don't see them
Speaker 1: as people until you get older. You just see them
Speaker 1: as He's like mythical kind of. I mean, it's crazy
Speaker 1: that you had a grandparent, Like I mean, people in
Speaker 1: their forties do not have grandparents unless you had teen parents,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, um, so that's pretty cool. When did
Speaker 1: she start to go cognitively though? Where you she got
Speaker 1: dementia later in life. She was in a nursing home
Speaker 1: and uh, but she still would like get dressed to
Speaker 1: the nines. Her and her friend, her girlfriend, they go
Speaker 1: I forget what her girlfriend name was, but they go
Speaker 1: down to the nursing like the nursing hall, like fucking
Speaker 1: dining room, and it was literally like high school and
Speaker 1: they're going to be around for that long. They were
Speaker 1: all checking out, like the guys, and I think there
Speaker 1: might have been a relationship going on with one of
Speaker 1: the guys, but he had dementia. But he was married.
Speaker 1: But it's a perfect crime because neither one could remember
Speaker 1: them cheating. And I think at night, who gives a ship?
Speaker 1: You know, everyone should be fucking but yeah. So anyways,
Speaker 1: r I grandma and uh yeah yeah my last grandparents. God,
Speaker 1: I lost my last one in two thousand six fifteen. Yeah, Mimi,
Speaker 1: and she was the coolest one to just I mean,
Speaker 1: no offense to Grandma Glazer, but my mom's grandma was
Speaker 1: awesome and just so um like the so loving and
Speaker 1: like would I just loved. Uh, Marge is my mom,
Speaker 1: but I called her Mimi and she had ten kids
Speaker 1: and so she had like thousand grandkids and we all
Speaker 1: called her Mimi because I started it. And she she
Speaker 1: was just so gentle and like I didn't My mom
Speaker 1: wasn't a very huggy like touchy person, and my dad was.
Speaker 1: But I didn't really like like getting you know, my
Speaker 1: dad didn't like wasn't it. We didn't. I didn't get
Speaker 1: like a lot of like back scratches are like just
Speaker 1: like just nice gentle. But my grandma would just let
Speaker 1: me land her back and she would draw animals and
Speaker 1: I would guess what the animals were, and it was
Speaker 1: just like the most soothing fucking thing ever. I Marvin
Speaker 1: and Marge very similar names, like Marvin's kind of yes,
Speaker 1: And my grandpa would rub my back to go to sleep,
Speaker 1: and he had these huge hands. He was a really
Speaker 1: big guy and held just rub my back at night
Speaker 1: and like, so gentle, if you're a parent out there,
Speaker 1: rub your kids backs, rub your partner's backs. It's such
Speaker 1: a fun thing to do. And like do games where
Speaker 1: you like you know, spell out things or like drawing
Speaker 1: animals and have guessing games. And when Poppy the other
Speaker 1: night came over and wanted me, or I came over
Speaker 1: to Poppy's house and she wanted to just like lay
Speaker 1: on me and like hug me and like kiss me
Speaker 1: and like all these things. I was just like, oh
Speaker 1: my god. I just was like I'm so excited. I
Speaker 1: have someone that I get to like do these like
Speaker 1: snuggy things with and like because it's uncomfortable for me,
Speaker 1: especially with children, to like Arlot was going to bed
Speaker 1: the other night, Mrster was like hug Nikki and he
Speaker 1: was like no, and they were like do it. I
Speaker 1: go no, don't. He does not need to you go
Speaker 1: to bed. Arlow like, don't need to touch to me.
Speaker 1: But when a kid is like really, I just love
Speaker 1: it so much, but I never want to force it,
Speaker 1: but god, it feels good. I want to hear all
Speaker 1: the grandparents names. Bob was my mom's and then Edward
Speaker 1: was my dad's dad, and then Jean was my mom grandma's. Uh,
Speaker 1: Jean's a good name too. Let's get the fan tracks,
Speaker 1: They're so good. Um, We've got a lot to get
Speaker 1: through today. Can I read a quick thing I just
Speaker 1: got from um uh one of our listeners Brook. She said, Nikki,
Speaker 1: I needed to tell you how much of the podcast
Speaker 1: helped me today. This is from yesterday. First of all,
Speaker 1: I was feeling fat because I've gained weight recently. Then
Speaker 1: I also was feeling down because a guy dumped me
Speaker 1: at the what are we stage, which seems to be
Speaker 1: per usual, and I was just feeling broken because I
Speaker 1: know I want a relationship, but it can never seem
Speaker 1: to get one, to be in one. Your point of
Speaker 1: view made me feel so much better though, and that
Speaker 1: I am not alone and that most people in them
Speaker 1: are unhappy. So thank you, so so much, Thank you
Speaker 1: Brooke for that. I already left her voice my mom
Speaker 1: and was saying like it meant so much to me
Speaker 1: because it reminded me like, yes, that is true, Like
Speaker 1: we don't especially someone that is going to pull away
Speaker 1: from you at that stage, like as much as you
Speaker 1: wanted it and as close as you got, like it
Speaker 1: wasn't yours to have. I have to tell this to
Speaker 1: people who write me about, oh I didn't get this
Speaker 1: job I really wanted, Like, that's not the right job
Speaker 1: for you. The fact that you didn't get that one,
Speaker 1: it's going to pay out someday. It's going to be
Speaker 1: good that you didn't get it. I just promise you.
Speaker 1: And um, and also feeling fat like you, if you're
Speaker 1: feeling fat out there, God, I I know what it
Speaker 1: feels like. I've been there. And maybe you are fat.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe you're fucking fat. Right, You're meant to
Speaker 1: be fat today. You need to be fat to get
Speaker 1: done what you are going to get done in your lifetime.
Speaker 1: You're meant to be this way. Be kind to yourself.
Speaker 1: You didn't choose to be this way. Life is hard.
Speaker 1: You medicated with the food. It's better than doing heroin.
Speaker 1: You're not a bad person, You're not weak. Um, you
Speaker 1: just you just needed some comfort and you're allowed to
Speaker 1: and like acknowledging that and letting yourself off the hook
Speaker 1: for that and not being like a bad person. I
Speaker 1: think of a day, like, God, if I could Like,
Speaker 1: what if every day, no matter how you looked, you
Speaker 1: could just walk around like you loved yourself, Like like
Speaker 1: it wasn't a problem, where it wasn't a burden. Like
Speaker 1: what if you could just walk around with the confidence
Speaker 1: of j Lo at her like when she's getting out
Speaker 1: of a fucking limo on a red carpet. If you
Speaker 1: could just actually feel that way about yourself all the time.
Speaker 1: It is actually possible to look like shit, to feel grubby,
Speaker 1: to feel fat, to have mousey hair, but also like
Speaker 1: carry yourself like I'm still fucking great, and it really
Speaker 1: is possible. So try to harness a little bit of
Speaker 1: that today. I'm I'm gonna do so as well, because
Speaker 1: it's it's it's hard put on a sweatshirt you like,
Speaker 1: put on some pants you like. I didn't feel like
Speaker 1: I deserved a cute outfit today, but I fucking chose one,
Speaker 1: even though I'm pale and I feel stinky and I
Speaker 1: didn't take a shower. I put on a cute outfit
Speaker 1: because I was like, fuck it, I want to feel comfy. Um,
Speaker 1: let's get to the first voice memo. Alright, Uh, no
Speaker 1: name on this one, Hi, Nikky Andrew, Noah Um, I'm
Speaker 1: a bestie and I am somebody who has always had
Speaker 1: um as Nikki called them, kettlebell tits, um, and I've
Speaker 1: always have them, and I've always called them that, and
Speaker 1: I've never heard anybody else called them that, and so
Speaker 1: I was very um pleased to hear Nikki call them that,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, thank you for making me feel seen,
Speaker 1: Jackie chan Jack. That's a good one. I love. I
Speaker 1: feel like, Yeah, when I said that, I was like, God,
Speaker 1: someone else has had to think of this before, because
Speaker 1: it is so accurate of what they feel like. I
Speaker 1: haven't heard I think, is it in the opening? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like when your tips just feel like heavy and
Speaker 1: like just burdensome, and they feel like kettle bells. They're
Speaker 1: just so like these just fucking chunky utters, chunky thick utters. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my kettle bell tddy ladies out there, I'm not one
Speaker 1: today because I'm not on my p rod, but it's coming.
Speaker 1: It does have to be tough to have gigantic tits
Speaker 1: because people love guys love big tits, and then they
Speaker 1: couldn't be any words for your back and just being annoying.
Speaker 1: You don't feel sexual, you can't run fast. Because even
Speaker 1: a sports brol that's compressing them as much as possible,
Speaker 1: they're still going to be like this. But then you
Speaker 1: get so much admiration for him too. It's got to
Speaker 1: be a weird mind. Yeah, And it's a lot of
Speaker 1: admiration you don't even fucking want. And it probably started
Speaker 1: at an age where you were like, I don't even
Speaker 1: want to I don't even like boys or whatever. It's
Speaker 1: it's it's got to be rough. Next. Next, thank you
Speaker 1: for that from anonymous. No, no, small tits are great
Speaker 1: all right? Uh no, sh it, it undertakes a hard stance.
Speaker 1: Uh no h Next tip. Okay, this one is from
Speaker 1: m Dog. Good morning, o G besties. First off, thank
Speaker 1: you for using my voicemail for fan tracks. I love
Speaker 1: the pod. It was number one in my Spotify wrapped. Anyhow,
Speaker 1: I'd like to offer up a nerdy fun fact as
Speaker 1: I just heard Nikki talk about tapering off antidepressants and
Speaker 1: also how she likes to always have oatmeal in the mornings,
Speaker 1: and um, well, I've been taping off tapering off antidepressants,
Speaker 1: um that I was on for twelve years actually, and
Speaker 1: so I've been looking into a lot of the science
Speaker 1: behind serotonin production, and besides socializing and sunlight, most of
Speaker 1: it is produced by your gut bacteria when you eat
Speaker 1: certain foods, and for vegans especially, oats are number one
Speaker 1: for giving you a sustained boost of serotonin. Jack serotonin,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, very Jack Stanley. That's hilarious, And I
Speaker 1: want everyone who leaves a voice mesage now to sign
Speaker 1: off with a jackpot Um wait a second. That is
Speaker 1: very interesting, you know, thank you so much. I'm dog
Speaker 1: of for that sharing that because so often I take
Speaker 1: all these pills and I don't even know what the
Speaker 1: funk any of them are doing. I don't know how
Speaker 1: they work. I don't know. I could learn the basic
Speaker 1: science behind what these pills are actually doing to my brain,
Speaker 1: so I could see, you know, like I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what because some are S
Speaker 1: R I, some of us are M A M A
Speaker 1: O I S some are are you know, there's all
Speaker 1: different kinds that are doing different things to your brain,
Speaker 1: and I never look into the science. So um m, dog,
Speaker 1: if you could send me any of the stuff that
Speaker 1: you're reading about serotonin, that might talk to me, like
Speaker 1: like explain, like I'm five on redditt e l I five,
Speaker 1: where it's like, explained this to Meek, I'm a dumb person.
Speaker 1: I would like to maybe understand what I'm on a
Speaker 1: pristique if anyone wants to tell me what the funk
Speaker 1: that's doing in my brain and how maybe I can uh,
Speaker 1: Because I I started, I was weaning off, and then
Speaker 1: I was getting sad again, so I go let me
Speaker 1: just like, not do this yet, and just I won't
Speaker 1: come as much as I'd like, but I'm back on
Speaker 1: my regular dose. But I've never been on pristique before,
Speaker 1: and whatever I'm doing right now, it feels really good,
Speaker 1: so so why stop it? Uh? Next, fan Trax, did
Speaker 1: you want to read one? Because yeah, I know I
Speaker 1: got a card for for you. Um, maybe we've read
Speaker 1: this before. It was opened on my counter. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you opened this, Andrew, or maybe I opened
Speaker 1: it and read it to you, but it says no,
Speaker 1: a quick note to tell you how much I have
Speaker 1: enjoyed getting to know you on the show. I love
Speaker 1: how you can jump in and in that singular voice
Speaker 1: soften or sharpen whatever the topic. Maybe thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing yourself even when I can tell it sometimes makes
Speaker 1: you feel vulnerable. It's a gift to us, truly. It
Speaker 1: makes us all feel less alone. You're a cool chick
Speaker 1: and I just want to meet and I want to
Speaker 1: meet you someday. Love. It looks like it, says Swanson. Swanson,
Speaker 1: Salm Swanson, Samson. Oh like the yes, Samson, I like
Speaker 1: the briefcase from Dumb and dumna. Um, that's so sweet.
Speaker 1: It was opened on my counter, so I don't know where. Um.
Speaker 1: This is from a bestie. I got over the um
Speaker 1: this is, says Oh, it's a little um token. It
Speaker 1: says too dicky from Candice, and it says good for
Speaker 1: I can turn this in for a shoulder to cry on.
Speaker 1: That is so sweet. Also a bunch of stickers. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, so cute. Um. Okay, enjoy these stickers. Portland
Speaker 1: turned me into a sticker head. All right, it says, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to read this. Okay. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, bestie, bestie, Oh my god, Nicky, I'm about
Speaker 1: to attend You're so in Portland. I'm so excited. I
Speaker 1: took your advice and I'm attending solo. I'm a loyal
Speaker 1: Nikki Lazer podcast listener and have caught up on all
Speaker 1: the YouTube? Are you up on YouTube? I absolutely adore
Speaker 1: your comedy and podcast, and no one keeps me laughing
Speaker 1: as good as you. I admire your raw honesty, insights
Speaker 1: about sex and orgasms I've never had one, by the way,
Speaker 1: and how confidently leaning too, your masculine energy. I relate
Speaker 1: to you so much and continue to be inspired by
Speaker 1: your story and life encounters. When life gets you down,
Speaker 1: know that the best seas in me in particular are
Speaker 1: rooting for you and cheering you on from the sidelines.
Speaker 1: Thanks to you, I've learned so much about coffee, addiction, sex, vibrators, vibrators,
Speaker 1: the amygdala, how there's no such thing as free will, um, healing,
Speaker 1: childhood trauma. The list goes on and on. I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful to you for being nothing less than who you are.
Speaker 1: Thanks for being you. I love you so much. Love bestie,
Speaker 1: Candice a Ka can't easy, can't easy? I love you.
Speaker 1: That's so sweet. God, damn it, you guys are so nice.
Speaker 1: One more that I got a letter this weekend. Um
Speaker 1: like breaking heart. Oh my god, it's like a Taylor Swift. Okay.
Speaker 1: It says when flow Color came out, I mailed all
Speaker 1: my best friends. This charm it's a little um. It's
Speaker 1: like Saturn with like a moon on it. Thank you
Speaker 1: for all you do, but mostly for the Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: dance parties. Next time I see you, let hope it's
Speaker 1: your concert. Oh Taylors with uh guitar pick ah an
Speaker 1: ever more guitar pick. That's so cool. Thank you so much, Kaylee.
Speaker 1: That's from Kaylee and a little charm that I don't
Speaker 1: know what the charm is in reference to. It's probably
Speaker 1: um a Taylor Swift song that I can't think of
Speaker 1: right now, but thank you so much, Kaylee. UM so nice.
Speaker 1: And there's a um on the cover of this card.
Speaker 1: There's a little bird looking in the mirror and it
Speaker 1: says did had to ask herself if the all over
Speaker 1: body wax had in fact been a very bad idea.
Speaker 1: And oh it's a chicken with like like cutie is.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. Let's get to the next of a voicemail. Okay,
Speaker 1: I have two more voicemails. Uh, here's one from Jillian
Speaker 1: Hay Basties. This is Jillian from Los Angeles. Just hidden.
Speaker 1: I'm calling because, like Nikki, I have a SMR with
Speaker 1: people's voices, and I am obsessed with Andrew's voice, the tone,
Speaker 1: the way he pronounces words, the accent, everything about it.
Speaker 1: When he says your boy, it sends shivers down my spine. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so this is a message for Andrew. Really, don't let
Speaker 1: Tom Sigura get you down. Let's don't let time get
Speaker 1: you down. Hey, Andrew, can I give you something to
Speaker 1: read so that, um, you can give her a little
Speaker 1: a SMR. You're gonna let's see, Um, your boy would
Speaker 1: be more than happy to. I'm gonna pick a random
Speaker 1: page from one of the books I'm reading. This is
Speaker 1: called The Fallen Rise. Fallen Rise, the Story of nine eleven.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a random page from I love this story. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, so this is gonna be This is Andrew's
Speaker 1: SMR for who was that? By the way, Jillian, for
Speaker 1: Jillian your boys about to read. Um, I would say,
Speaker 1: I know, I know, Gillian said, she just likes your
Speaker 1: voice as is, but maybe trying to do a more
Speaker 1: like slower just so she can fall asleep to this,
Speaker 1: okay inside to stairwell? Are you mad? No? I mean,
Speaker 1: I just I wasn't trying. I know that you're annoyed
Speaker 1: that I gave you some direction before. I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to because I know that if I got to choreograph
Speaker 1: the voice I liked, I would be like so excited.
Speaker 1: So I'm just trying to make this good for Jillian.
Speaker 1: But she already likes it without the direction. Okay. Inside
Speaker 1: the stairwell at the seventy eighth floor sky lobby level,
Speaker 1: Brian and Stand skirted past flames that spurted through cracks
Speaker 1: in the wall. They didn't cross paths with the man
Speaker 1: in the red bandana or the people he led to safety.
Speaker 1: By the seventy floor, the air and the stairwell cheese.
Speaker 1: The air and the stairwell began to clear. Lights were
Speaker 1: on and the stair treads were dry. Brian thought they'd
Speaker 1: be safe. Stand grew steadier on his feet. The first
Speaker 1: person they encountered in the stairwell was a colleague of
Speaker 1: Brian's from euro Brokers, Jose Marrero, who had risen from
Speaker 1: the kitchen staff to become the firm's facilities manager. Jose,
Speaker 1: a married father of three who served with Brian as
Speaker 1: a fire safety warden, had led other Eurobroker's work down.
Speaker 1: Final thought, Final thought, Okay, now you can't get going forever.
Speaker 1: There we get to literally stop. We're gonna we'll keep
Speaker 1: going later to make more for Jillian. That is honestly,
Speaker 1: that was very soothing for me as well. I just
Speaker 1: bookmarked it. We'll get more. That was hilarious to read
Speaker 1: eleven and like story, it's so funny. I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I'm not laughing about nine eleven. It's just it's it's
Speaker 1: a perfect thing to read a SMR style because it's
Speaker 1: so ridiculous. Jesus Christ. Okay. I also, yeah, I also
Speaker 1: have like Holocaust you know, uh, books about the Holocaust
Speaker 1: in my pants. Yeah, I have a propagate that Edward
Speaker 1: would read to you as a baby while he drew
Speaker 1: a penis on your back. Oh god, um, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1: But my grandfather died when my dad was eleven, so
Speaker 1: I never got to meet him. Okay, so I really
Speaker 1: would appreciate you. Okay, one more fan tracks, all right,
Speaker 1: this is the one I've been waiting for. Hey, Nikki Andrew, Noah,
Speaker 1: this is Pamela from Portland, Oregan. I love your show.
Speaker 1: It's something I look forward to every day. I have
Speaker 1: a story to share about getting a pedicure so you know,
Speaker 1: when you get a pedicure, you sit in those massage
Speaker 1: chairs that you have a remote too. Well, normally these
Speaker 1: chairs are nothing to cry home about. Well, I sit
Speaker 1: down and turn it on and play around the settings.
Speaker 1: As a woman starts taking a cheese grater to my foot.
Speaker 1: I don't know what setting I chose, but it starts
Speaker 1: needing and vibrating all the way down past my butt
Speaker 1: where my pussy is on the seat of the chair.
Speaker 1: It kind of feels like when you're grinding with a
Speaker 1: guy on a dance floor and you can feel a
Speaker 1: poke coming through. But like now, at this time, the
Speaker 1: woman gave is like she's gonna be a hardcore massage
Speaker 1: and I'm basically blacking out when she stops, like to
Speaker 1: ask you what color I wanted. I end up going
Speaker 1: with a more expensive option just so I could sit
Speaker 1: in the boner chair longer. Anyways, I tipped that woman
Speaker 1: really well, and I'll be a returning customer, all right,
Speaker 1: Love you all, jacklin Man, jack Knife. I really wish
Speaker 1: that I would have heard about the salon before we
Speaker 1: went to port I would have gone in Portland just
Speaker 1: to check out these chairs. Girl, will you d m
Speaker 1: us so we can give our Portland's busties a heads
Speaker 1: up of what Salon has this boner chair that is
Speaker 1: from hearing that she's right, and I like that she
Speaker 1: said instead of called home about, she said cry home about.
Speaker 1: That should be the new thing, Like no one's calling
Speaker 1: home anyway, text to him about, um, yeah, you're so right.
Speaker 1: Those chairs sometimes you get them. Sometimes they shake you
Speaker 1: in a way that it looks like you're making your
Speaker 1: boobs jiggle, and so you're just sitting there in your
Speaker 1: boobs are just like like kettlebells, just jiggling back and forth.
Speaker 1: And with the with the foot massage with a woman
Speaker 1: like touching, like just someone sent greater And I love
Speaker 1: that she picked up. She's like, can you draw a
Speaker 1: little butterflies on my Like just doing whatever will take
Speaker 1: you longer. Yeah, they're like, lady, you've been here for
Speaker 1: six months, and I love that you didn't even you
Speaker 1: tip the woman even though it was the chair that
Speaker 1: was doing most of the work, Like hell yeah, good
Speaker 1: job tipping well, good job getting yours. Good job. Like
Speaker 1: having an orgasm that almost made you like black out,
Speaker 1: And that is the great thing about girls orgasms, Like
Speaker 1: we can have them and be quiet. Sophie Buddle who
Speaker 1: opened for us. She was so you can follow her
Speaker 1: on Instagram and stuff at soafbuds buds but her last
Speaker 1: name is Buddle. She was just on James Cordon but
Speaker 1: she was doing a joke about female orgasm and how
Speaker 1: we just look ridiculous, We look like very still when
Speaker 1: we're doing it, and and she said that her boyfriend
Speaker 1: was like, did you just have did you just wake
Speaker 1: up from a dream where you were falling or did
Speaker 1: you have an orgasm? Because you know how sometimes you
Speaker 1: just go like like that, like that is seriously one
Speaker 1: of orgasm can look like sometimes it was so funny.
Speaker 1: She's great, she's awesome. Um yeah, I think how how
Speaker 1: how quickly can you? That would be reasonable? Getting new
Speaker 1: nails if that was you where you didn't look like
Speaker 1: you were going in just a fucking chair, Oh you
Speaker 1: could get it. You could just be like I just
Speaker 1: want to change over my nails right now, like you
Speaker 1: Coulogle every day and be like, oh, I just want
Speaker 1: new color on my nails. Some girls do that, I
Speaker 1: mean they just really likes are like wasting their days
Speaker 1: away just doing something. Yeah, makes sense, It's it's nice
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, obviously you're sit in those chairs.
Speaker 1: It's very soothing. Um, that was our show today. Great fan, Trex,
Speaker 1: think you quits so much. Keep leaving us voice memos
Speaker 1: and signing off with jack things. Um, so yeah, don't
Speaker 1: be cat there. Have a great weekend. We'll be back
Speaker 1: on Monday. We're gonna be in Los Angeles. Angie went
Speaker 1: to high school. Shout out good guy.