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Speaker 1: This is the intergalactic John. This is Alien Salm on

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Speaker 1: the International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some

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Speaker 1: human stories coming up, not alien, but before we make

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Speaker 1: a landing, stick around for this two minute not alien

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Speaker 1: ad break before we get to these interstellar stories. I

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Speaker 1: told my father to step up or else my mother

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Speaker 1: might leave him.

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Speaker 2: I guess he's stepping down.

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Speaker 1: It's time to step up or step off. For context,

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Speaker 1: I'm a sixteen year old girl and my dad is

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Speaker 1: a fifty seven year old man. I love my parents

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Speaker 1: a lot, and I am so grateful for all of

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Speaker 1: the things they do to provide for me. However, me

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Speaker 1: and my dad have always had a bit of a

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Speaker 1: strange relationship. He is not very good at communicating, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes it feels like I can't talk to him about anything.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user, I might cause

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Speaker 1: a divorce. And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subbreddit. So this

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Speaker 1: does bother me, But the real issue in our house

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Speaker 1: is that my mom does everything every day. She makes dinner,

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Speaker 1: does the dishes, the laundry, at et cetera. On top

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Speaker 1: of this, she recently started remotely working full time again,

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Speaker 1: and she's currently going back to college to get her

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Speaker 1: master's degree. I do everything I can to help out,

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Speaker 1: but I can only do so much. My dad works

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Speaker 1: full time and that's it. He never does any chores

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Speaker 1: or helps around the house at all. He does work

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Speaker 1: a labor heavy job, and I understand it's tiring, but

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Speaker 1: he could at least give our dog a bath, or

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Speaker 1: make dinner for himself or something. Both me and my

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Speaker 1: mom have said many times that we want him to

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Speaker 1: help around the house, and he always says he will,

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Speaker 1: but he never does anything. He did the dishes a

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Speaker 1: couple times, but he didn't do it thoroughly enough and

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Speaker 1: there was still food on them, so my mom had

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Speaker 1: to rewash them. I've honestly gotten really tired of this,

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Speaker 1: as it's been going on for years. And here's where

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Speaker 1: I might be the a hole. This happened three days ago.

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Speaker 1: My mom was in class that night, so she hadn't

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Speaker 1: gotten an opportunity to do the laundry yet, and there

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Speaker 1: was a basket of dirty clothes in my parents' room.

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Speaker 1: My dad off handedly remarked, Gee, there sure are a

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Speaker 1: lot of dirty clothes laying around. This made me really annoyed,

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Speaker 1: I told him that he was a grown man and

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Speaker 1: if he wanted clean clothes, he could do a load

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Speaker 1: of laundry himself. My dad looked surprised at this and

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Speaker 1: told me to calm down. I have a tendency of

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Speaker 1: speaking harshly to people when I'm irritated, and this was

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Speaker 1: unfortunately one of those moments. So I told him that

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Speaker 1: I swear to God, if you don't shape up and

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Speaker 1: start doing some actual work around here, mom is gonna

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Speaker 1: want a divorce. I knew immediately I shouldn't have said it,

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Speaker 1: and he left the room looking really angry. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if it's relevant, but he has been married two

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Speaker 1: times before my mom. I told my mom about this,

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Speaker 1: and she says that while he should do more work,

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Speaker 1: what I said was really mean and the divorce comment

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Speaker 1: was completely unnecessary. And my dad got home from work

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Speaker 1: the next day. I tried to apologize, but he completely

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Speaker 1: ignored me and just went outside' been three days and

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Speaker 1: he hasn't said a word to me, even though I've

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Speaker 1: tried to say sorry multiple times. My house is now

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Speaker 1: really tense since my dad is also mad at my

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Speaker 1: mom because he thinks she wants to get a divorce.

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Speaker 1: I feel horrible, but honestly, deep down, I still agree

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Speaker 1: with the comment I said to him. So am I

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Speaker 1: the A hole? We have some comments from ope here.

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Speaker 1: Has your mom actually mentioned to you that she wants

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Speaker 1: to leave your dad? If she hasn't, then the comment

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Speaker 1: you made would be stirring the pot for no reason,

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Speaker 1: which would probably make you the a hole. Your dad

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Speaker 1: does sound hard to live with, though, so I can't

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Speaker 1: really blame you. Ohp He says, yes, my mom has

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Speaker 1: mentioned that she wants to leave him, but she's not

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Speaker 1: in a financial position to do it at the moment.

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Speaker 1: And there are some comments comment one not the a

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Speaker 1: hole as the daughter of a man very similar to

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Speaker 1: the way you describe your father. He's using weaponised and

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Speaker 1: competence and the silent treatment as manipulation. You weren't out

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Speaker 1: of the realm of possibilities by saying what you said.

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Speaker 1: I know, because after eighteen long years, my mom finally

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Speaker 1: divorced my dad. It may have sounded harsh to him,

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Speaker 1: but that's because people with no accountability for their actions

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Speaker 1: will always feel attacked. I hate to say it, but

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Speaker 1: it sounds like your mom would be better off without him.

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Speaker 1: As far as the silent treatment goes, it hurts and

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Speaker 1: it's childish and annoying. But the best thing you can

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Speaker 1: do is look back straight through him, play the game back.

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Speaker 1: It won't take long before he's pretending like everything's fine

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Speaker 1: again and he's waited on hand and foot reply. Turn

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Speaker 1: that weapon of incompetence on him. Set up a rotating

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Speaker 1: or alternating schedule for dish.

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Speaker 3: Dude.

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Speaker 1: The days after he does the dishes, anything that he

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Speaker 1: didn't get clean is for his meals. Mom and daughter

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Speaker 1: can use paper plates and plastic were those days, but

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Speaker 1: they know the days after they are doing the dishes

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Speaker 1: they will be eating off of actual dishes. That just

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Speaker 1: sounds real, petty. I don't think the solution to this

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Speaker 1: is to get pettier.

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Speaker 4: You had the comment had us in the first half

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Speaker 4: of where I was like, yeah, why don't you just

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Speaker 4: took a scheduled thing, you know, yeah, and there it

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Speaker 4: makes sense, and then then you got super petty. I

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Speaker 4: was like, though, you know, you're not the eye for

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Speaker 4: an eye thing doesn't work, or you know, just yeah,

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Speaker 4: just have a conversation.

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Speaker 1: And ope you won't if your parents do divorced, it's

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Speaker 1: not your fault not on you. The comment too, is

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Speaker 1: not the A hole. My favorite part of this is

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Speaker 1: you voice of concerns you and your mother share about

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Speaker 1: his lack of help around the home, and his response

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Speaker 1: is to go hide in his shed rather than to

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Speaker 1: actually do anything to fix the problem. Did he ever

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Speaker 1: even do the laundry? I feel like you also have

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Speaker 1: to explain to your mother how this makes you feel

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Speaker 1: that she is constantly placing your dad's feelings in comfort

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Speaker 1: over both of yours. Is this the kind of relationship

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Speaker 1: she wants for you when you are older. Also make

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Speaker 1: it clear that it's pretty impossible to drift away from

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Speaker 1: only one parent after moving out. You don't want to

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Speaker 1: get to a point in a few short years where

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Speaker 1: you stop coming around at all because you don't want

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Speaker 1: to watch her, hear, or deal with it anymore. Comment

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Speaker 1: three says, not the A whole. I think you were

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Speaker 1: a little outside of your bounds, but you should realize

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Speaker 1: that you're sixteen and you really shouldn't step into your parents'

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Speaker 1: marital problems. It's frustrating and unfair, but snapping won't solve anything.

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Speaker 1: He's acting like a child by just ignoring you, So

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Speaker 1: maybe just let it go. He's heard, You're sorry, and

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Speaker 1: you don't have to repeat it. Your only job as

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Speaker 1: a kid is to learn from your parents, especially from

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Speaker 1: their mistakes, and to carry those lessons into the future.

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Speaker 1: Just tell your mom you're there for her, and do

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Speaker 1: your best to live your childhood without worrying about your

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Speaker 1: dad's problems. Be a kid and let the adults deal

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Speaker 1: with it. Don't let this rest on your shoulders. And

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Speaker 1: Opie was voted not the a hole.

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Speaker 2: Holy heck. That comment. That was the best comment.

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Speaker 1: That was a good one. That was good. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to everyone on my

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Speaker 1: first post who commented about their opinions on why I

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Speaker 1: was or was not an a hole. Everyone was very

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Speaker 1: kind and you all gave great feedback. The verdict on

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Speaker 1: my post ended up being not the A hole, though

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Speaker 1: a lot of people said it wasn't my place to

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Speaker 1: speak on behalf of my mom like that. After thinking

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Speaker 1: about it, I agree my dad was being a knucklehead,

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Speaker 1: but I really shouldn't have put words in my mom's mouth.

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Speaker 1: Now onto the update. About two days after I had

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Speaker 1: posted on here, my parents sat me down and said

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Speaker 1: they wanted to talk. I was prepared to get a

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Speaker 1: lecture about how what I said was out of line,

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Speaker 1: but that's not what happened. Apparently, the reason my dad

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Speaker 1: had gotten so upset at the comment I made was

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Speaker 1: that it hit a little too close to home. As

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Speaker 1: it turns out, my dad has been cheating on my

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Speaker 1: mom for about a year with one of his co workers,

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Speaker 1: and my mom found out a few months ago. The

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Speaker 1: reason she went back to work was because she needed

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Speaker 1: financial independence to get divorced. They said they hadn't been

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Speaker 1: planning on telling me, but my dad decided I was

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Speaker 1: mature enough to know the truth and that I deserved

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Speaker 1: to know. They said they would probably be separated by

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Speaker 1: the end of the year. The situation was completely out

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Speaker 1: of left field, to be honest, because while my dad

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Speaker 1: might not have been the best doing the dishes, I

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Speaker 1: never thought he would have an affair. Yeah. Yeah, well

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Speaker 1: he's bad at doing the dishes, but he's great at

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Speaker 1: doing his secretary. My dad has talked to me about

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Speaker 1: how he was so sorry for what he's been doing

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Speaker 1: and that he hoped I didn't view him differently. I've

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Speaker 1: tried to be kind to him and not say any

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Speaker 1: more unnecessary comments, but I did let him know that

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Speaker 1: I was really disappointed in him. I needed to get

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Speaker 1: out of the house. So I've been staying with my

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Speaker 1: friend for the past couple of days and processing everything.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, you can process full episodes of

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Speaker 1: stories just like this with your ears on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio,

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. All you gotta do is search, okay,

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Speaker 1: story time. Well, it certainly makes more sense now why

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Speaker 1: the mom was like, yeah, I think I might divorce

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Speaker 1: your dad. I think if I found out my partner

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Speaker 1: was cheating on me for a year and it had

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Speaker 1: been a couple months, I might not be able to

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Speaker 1: keep it to myself anymore.

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Speaker 4: You kind of hit the hammer on the head there.

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Speaker 4: The divorce is gonna happen. Best thing you can do

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Speaker 4: is just support your mom the best you can. And unfortunately,

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Speaker 4: if your dad needs you, give him like a paddle

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Speaker 4: on the back and be like you did this, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you cause this.

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Speaker 2: I feel no sympathy.

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Speaker 1: While what I said to my dad might have been crappy,

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Speaker 1: it did result me in finding out the truth about

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Speaker 1: what was going on, So I'm kind of glad I did.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that this update isn't the happiest or anything,

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Speaker 1: but overall, I'm doing okay. And thank you again to

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Speaker 1: everyone who commented on my first post. I appreciate it

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Speaker 1: a lot. We have some more comments from Ope. Commenter asks,

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Speaker 1: I won't lie, I'm super curious how old Ope's mom is.

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Speaker 1: Opie replies, my mom is fifty one, turning fifty two

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Speaker 1: in a few months. Commenter says, I confess I'm wondering

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Speaker 1: the same thing about Ope's Dad's a fair partner. Opie says,

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Speaker 1: I've actually met the woman he was cheating with at

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Speaker 1: some of my dad's work events before I knew what

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Speaker 1: was going on, of course, but I'm not sure how

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Speaker 1: old she is. If I were to guess, i'd say

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Speaker 1: she's in her late thirties. Commenter says, this just broke

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Speaker 1: my heart for you, honey. Just know that you have

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Speaker 1: people who care about you, because I know this is

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Speaker 1: so confusing and you have so many emotions. Be brave though,

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Speaker 1: for your mom, because she's probably silently struggling inside for

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Speaker 1: a while with this. To be fair, it hasn't been

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Speaker 1: silent because Opie is sad. Their mom has told them that,

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Speaker 1: so it was starting to.

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Speaker 5: Leak out yeah where all this comes from it, But

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Speaker 5: because just no way a sixteen year old is.

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Speaker 1: Telling their dad, Hey, Mom's gonna divorce you unless mom

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Speaker 1: has told the sixteen year old that that's on the table.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes we don't know, but in this case, I think

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Speaker 4: the parents didn't want to. They don't want to involve

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Speaker 4: you in their mess until it's figured out.

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Speaker 2: And it sucks. Just don't blame yourself.

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Speaker 4: I hate that thing where like parents get a divorce

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Speaker 4: and kids literally are like pointing the finger like what

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Speaker 4: did I do? Or like how can I stop this?

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Speaker 4: Or how the what if thing? Like what if I

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Speaker 4: did this? What if I did that? You did nothing?

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Speaker 2: All you can do is just support in this case,

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Speaker 2: your mom the best you can.

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Speaker 1: I just hope for the best for y'all. Much love

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Speaker 1: to you and your family, op, He says, thank you

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Speaker 1: very much for your kind words. They are very much appreciated.

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Speaker 1: I can only imagine what my mom has been feeling,

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Speaker 1: so I've been trying to help her out as much

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Speaker 1: as I can comment her. I'm so sorry, Op, but

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Speaker 1: hopefully this is a great new life for you and

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Speaker 1: your mom. I'm sorry for whatever step monsters he inflicts

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Speaker 1: on you, which is classic case of can't be single

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Speaker 1: because he wants a maid. But did he do the laundry?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for the well wishes, and no,

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Speaker 1: he never ended up doing the laundry, and that's why

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Speaker 1: they got divorced.

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Speaker 4: And that's why that man's got That man has dirty laundry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, look, he never aired out his dirty laundry.

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Speaker 1: It's a man in his late forties early fifties can't

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Speaker 1: do his own laundry. Who are you man?

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Speaker 2: We'll just set a day to do chores.

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Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. My girlfriend's friend

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Speaker 1: is showering her with expensive gifts. It makes us both uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Make a rain, Make a rain. The main people are

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Speaker 1: Liz twenty eight female, my girlfriend, Jay twenty eight male,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend's childhood friend, and Me twenty nine male. Thank

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Speaker 1: god we stopped at three. Liz and Jay grew up

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Speaker 1: in the same neighborhood, just a few houses down from

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Speaker 1: each other. Ooh, she's girl next door. They were best

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Speaker 1: friends in elementary school and then drifted apart a bit

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Speaker 1: in middle school. But during high school, Jay's parents went

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Speaker 1: through a real nasty divorce. I'm not really clear on

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Speaker 1: all the details, but I know that Jay's dad moved

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Speaker 1: out and Jay and his mom were really struggling financially.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user throwaway Weird Gifts,

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit and submit them there.

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Speaker 1: So Liz's parents are about as kind, generous, and warm

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Speaker 1: as people you'll ever meet, and they took care of Jay.

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Speaker 1: He would often have dinner with them, do family stuff

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Speaker 1: with them, crash at Liz's place, and during this time

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Speaker 1: Liz and j became best friends again and stayed that

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Speaker 1: way until college. Jay ended up getting a major scholarship

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Speaker 1: to a really good school out west and left for school,

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Speaker 1: while Liz stayed close to home. Over the years, they

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Speaker 1: followed each other on socials, but had little other contact.

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Speaker 1: I met Liz a little over three years ago as

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Speaker 1: part of a social league for a volleyball in our city.

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Speaker 1: By luck of the draw, we were placed on the

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Speaker 1: same team, met each other at the welcome event and

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Speaker 1: really hit it off. Is that the luck of the

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Speaker 1: draw or is that fate my guy?

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Speaker 6: It could be a bit of both, perhaps a.

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Speaker 1: Nice sprinkling of both. She is kind, gracious, smart, witty, beautiful, fun,

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Speaker 1: and it's just the right amount of competitive. It's actually

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Speaker 1: really important. She's the kind of girl that guys meet

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Speaker 1: and fall in love with, and I guess I'm one

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Speaker 1: of those guys. But somehow she also liked me. A

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Speaker 1: year after meeting, we were moving in together and talking

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Speaker 1: about the future. By no means is our relationship of

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Speaker 1: fairy tale romance. But we've weathered our fair share of

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Speaker 1: storms and have what I believe to be a healthy

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Speaker 1: relationship with a good old horizontal mambo life. We've got

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Speaker 1: strong communication and shared goals and values. We've talked marriage

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Speaker 1: and kids, all of it. Here's where Jay comes back

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Speaker 1: into the story. Okay, a few years back Jay started

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Speaker 1: a tech company with a friend. Their company grew rapidly

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Speaker 1: and was bought out by a major player in the

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Speaker 1: tech world. Jay moved back to our city this year.

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Speaker 1: On Labor Day, we went to a party at a

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Speaker 1: friend of Liz's from high school. Jay was also there.

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Speaker 1: It was the first time that Liz had seen him

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Speaker 1: in probably four or five years, so the two spent

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Speaker 1: a lot of the party catching up. I'm not originally

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Speaker 1: from the air, so many of Liz's friends have become

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Speaker 1: my friends, so I was hanging out and let them

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Speaker 1: catch up. On the way home from the party, Liz

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Speaker 1: said that Jay had invited us over to his new

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Speaker 1: house and that we needed to find a date. A

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Speaker 1: few weeks later, we headed over to Jay's house. From

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Speaker 1: the moment he opened the door to greet us, Jay

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Speaker 1: was weird to me. I think he didn't realize that

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Speaker 1: I was coming too. Maybe he thought Liz was coming

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Speaker 1: by herself. Almost the whole day, Jay spoke only to Liz.

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Speaker 1: When Liz would try to introduce me in the conversation

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Speaker 1: or talk about me, Jay seemed to change the subject

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Speaker 1: to reminisce about old stories. He was very strange and

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Speaker 1: just kind of exhausting.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, this certainly is a strange scenario now, given how

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Speaker 5: he's acted.

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Speaker 1: At first, I was like, Oh, this is gonna be

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Speaker 1: that weird. Liz's family, you know, kept Jay from being

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Speaker 1: unhoused when he was a kid, you know, because I'm thinking, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's going to give her a bunch of gifts, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, it's probably he just feels now that

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Speaker 1: he's in a position to repay the kindness that was

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Speaker 1: shown to him that he wants to do it, but

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Speaker 1: the fact that he's being like, yeah, your boyfriend cool.

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Speaker 1: Remember that time that we both stayed up until five

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Speaker 1: am reading like Harry Potter together, we were pretending to

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Speaker 1: be the characters. Yeah, Well, I mean I.

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Speaker 6: Can understand, like, you know, wanting to relive those things,

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Speaker 6: because those memories can be very sweet and very like

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Speaker 6: fun to relive, but it is still, I mean, especially

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Speaker 6: if she's there with someone else, like, it's good to

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Speaker 6: include him in the conversation too, instead of just being like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 6: you don't know about any of this and we don't

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Speaker 6: need to tell.

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Speaker 1: You actively involving yeah, exactly. Eventually I went inside to

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Speaker 1: the kitchen to get a drink and chatted with Jay's chef.

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Speaker 1: He has a private chef to make his food. The

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Speaker 1: chef was cool and confirmed that he had been told

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Speaker 1: it was Jay plus one guest for dinner. Liz and

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Speaker 1: I tried to chalk that whole day up to a

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Speaker 1: misunderstanding that maybe he just wanted to continue catching up,

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Speaker 1: but there have been plenty of awkward things since then.

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Speaker 1: So for example, when it Jay's, Liz saw a le

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Speaker 1: cusette Dutch oven and said something about always wanting one

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Speaker 1: but not being able to justify the cost. Well, you

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Speaker 1: won't believe what showed up on our doorstep a few

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Speaker 1: days later, the exact same le cusette. She one time

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Speaker 1: mentioned that she really likes a very expensive classic lounge chair,

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Speaker 1: but it's almost four thousand dollars. It showed up at

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Speaker 1: our place the next week. Maybe just be like, I've

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Speaker 1: always wanted to own a piece.

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Speaker 5: Of land, you know, in like Aspen, Colorado, and see

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Speaker 5: what happens.

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Speaker 6: I feel like, if Op is complaining, then he should

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Speaker 6: be like, hey, hey, hey, don't you really want like

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Speaker 6: the new you know, PS five and like the new

360
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Speaker 6: switch that's coming out, you know what I mean. And

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Speaker 6: she's like, oh yeah, I really really wanted this, And

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Speaker 6: then then boom, you just get free gifts for him too.

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Speaker 6: Prop it off of it, my.

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Speaker 1: Guy, until a love letter shows up with one of them, right,

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Speaker 1: and then it has to stop. Once the love letter's there,

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Speaker 1: it's over. She said something the next day when we

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Speaker 1: saw Jay, but he gave us this weird smile and

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Speaker 1: said multiple times that he didn't know what she was

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Speaker 1: dalking about. I don't know what you're talking about.

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Speaker 6: What you're talking about you are so crazy what.

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Speaker 1: Jay's building a new company that creates tech for the

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Speaker 1: hospital industry. For this reason, he has connections with restaurants

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Speaker 1: and breweries all over the city. In the fall, he

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Speaker 1: invited Liz to a special dinner at a chef's table

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Speaker 1: that is inside of the kitchen at one of the

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Speaker 1: nicest restaurants in the city. Jay knows the chef, so

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Speaker 1: they would get the royal treatment. When Liz asked if

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Speaker 1: I could come as well, he told her that the

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Speaker 1: table only seats two.

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Speaker 6: Of course, it does very convenient.

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Speaker 1: See and that's when you go. I guess I'm not

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Speaker 1: going then, because I have a husband. Liz and I

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Speaker 1: talked it out for a while and in the end

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Speaker 1: decided that she would go without me. She reported back

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Speaker 1: that it felt like two friends having dinner together. I

386
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Speaker 1: was talking about the whole thing with a coworker who

387
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Speaker 1: told me she had also done the chef's table and

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Speaker 1: the table seats four. At the beginning of December, Jay

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Speaker 1: invited her to a special event at a local museum.

390
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Speaker 1: One of the major museums in our city hosts a

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Speaker 1: special Christmas party that you have to be invited to,

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Speaker 1: and it is really exclusive. Think like a knockoff version

393
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,080
Speaker 1: of the met Gala without the celebrity in holiday theme.

394
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 1: Jay got two tickets and invited Liz. She's wanted to

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Speaker 1: go for ages and never thought it was possible. So again,

396
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,639
Speaker 1: we talked it out and decided she would take him

397
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 1: up on the offer. Look, at this point, this is okay, yep,

398
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 1: but like you need to get clarity.

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Speaker 6: It has like plausible deniability for sure. Sure, but you know,

400
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 6: inviting you to a fancy restaurant, we're like inside the

401
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,239
Speaker 6: kitchen or something. You're sitting at the stove, whatever it is.

402
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Speaker 1: And they grew up together, you know, So it's okay.

403
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,560
Speaker 1: It's the lying that would immediately get me on its face.

404
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 1: It's like, well, I've known this person for every childhood friend,

405
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 1: we grew up together, We've been through a lot, yep.

406
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 1: But why is he saying that the table only seats

407
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,320
Speaker 1: two and it seats four? Why is he taking you

408
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,119
Speaker 1: to the you know, the met Gala of our city. Yeah,

409
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: I bet you could have got three tickets for sure

410
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,240
Speaker 1: and put an effort to talk to OPI two. Right,

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Speaker 1: I think we know the answer to these questions is

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00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: as Opie's partner, it's like, you need to go to

413
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Speaker 1: Jay and be like, Hey, so we're just friends. That's

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Speaker 1: all we're ever gonna be because I'm married to my

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Speaker 1: husband and I love him. Yeah, I love you too,

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Speaker 1: who you're my best friend?

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Speaker 6: Different way though.

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Speaker 1: Right again at the event, she says he acted like

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Speaker 1: a friend, but in hindsight, it feels weird that he

420
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Speaker 1: keeps inviting her to stuff like this. As I'm writing

421
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 1: this out, I already feel like people are getting ready

422
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Speaker 1: to tell me she's cheating on me, or that I'm

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00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 1: a pushover for letting Liz go to one on one

424
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 1: things with Jay, which I disagree with. But one, we

425
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,639
Speaker 1: don't have that kind of relationship where I wouldn't let

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Speaker 1: her do something she wanted. And two, she is super

427
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: honest with me. She's also a terrible liar. She has

428
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 1: the easiest tells in the world. She's too moral and

429
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 1: good natured to keep a bad secret. That's why I

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Speaker 1: believe her when she's assured me time and time again

431
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Speaker 1: that Jay is very much in the friend zone. She

432
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 1: is not interested. She believes that he is lonely and

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Speaker 1: wants to return to being best friends. My worry is

434
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 1: that Liz naturally sees the best in people. For example,

435
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 1: if someone cuts her off in traffic, her natural responses

436
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,439
Speaker 1: only must be in some kind of emergency situation. She

437
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 1: genuinely trusts people, She cares for people, and wants the

438
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 1: best for them. I, on the other her hand, of

439
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 1: a natural skeptic. I tend to think that people are

440
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,360
Speaker 1: just out for themselves. I find her optimism really beautiful,

441
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 1: but struggle to see the world in the same way.

442
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 1: So the long and short of it is that we

443
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 1: both feel uncomfortable with the gifts and fancy dinners that

444
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: he keeps getting her. But when she brought it up

445
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 1: to him, he says he's paying her back for taking

446
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: him in during high school. So the White Elephant gift exchange,

447
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: it's always weird stuff for funny items. Jay showed up

448
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: with a second gift that he was cagey about all night. Hmm.

449
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 1: Someone thought it was part of the gift exchange and

450
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,439
Speaker 1: he kind of freaked out a little bit. Near the

451
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 1: end of the night, he pulled Liz aside and gave

452
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 1: her this second gift. Inside was a designer handbag and

453
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: a super expensive pair of designer heels. She felt very

454
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 1: uncomfortable accepting them, and in the awkwardness of the situation,

455
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 1: just said thanks and then we left soon after. Now

456
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 1: two days later, Liz has decided she wants to return

457
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 1: the gifts to Jay and tell him there too much.

458
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 1: I think she said that they were almost two thousand

459
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 1: dollars combined. I think we need to tell Jay to

460
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 1: back off as well.

461
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 3: Well.

462
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 1: But Liz is saying that I'm being overly harsh. What

463
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: I'm asking is this, Am I being too harsh in

464
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 1: telling a guy to back off who's trying to repay

465
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 1: former kindness. If I'm not out of line telling him

466
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 1: to back off, how can we ask him to stop

467
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: with the gifts without destroying the friendship? And there is

468
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: an update and boyle boy, do I have thoughts? But Angio,

469
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 1: let's hear what you have to say.

470
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 6: One of the comments, actually, if you scroll up a

471
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 6: little bit, Dakota hates Dogzekiel. He's doing her past kindness

472
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 6: as a sign of affection, So that I think is

473
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 6: one way that it could be going.

474
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 1: It was her parents that, you know, overall, like let

475
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: him in true?

476
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 6: Sure, how old is see when that happened again.

477
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 1: They were in high school. It was pretty early on too.

478
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: I think I think it was like freshmen or they

479
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: were young teenagers.

480
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 6: I could see him catch and feelin's back there for sure.

481
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 1: I don't know.

482
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 6: I think like you can just have a real conversation

483
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 6: with him and be like, I don't know, I feel

484
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 6: like you can't just say like no, you have to

485
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,119
Speaker 6: stop the gifts. Maybe you can phrase it in a

486
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 6: way where it's like like, hey, I understand that you

487
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 6: wouldn't repay me. I appreciate that so much. You don't

488
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 6: have to stop doing that, but maybe let's find a

489
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 6: different way to do that.

490
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, like give me like a CD.

491
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, or maybe like invite my husband to things like yes, hi,

492
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 6: my husband, like you know, maybe it's time or you know,

493
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 6: you guys, I don't know, he cooks food or something,

494
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 6: you know, something like different than just like material things.

495
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 1: Maybe Liz is gonna have to cause you know, you

496
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 1: can't be like back off, like that's the wrong move.

497
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: But also Liz has to be like, hey, so are

498
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: you like pretending my husband doesn't exist? Because you know,

499
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 1: instead of spending two thousand dollars on like a handbag

500
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: and a pair of shoes, you could spend two thousand

501
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 1: dollars on like I don't know, like a trip for

502
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: both of us, like me and my husband, or like yeah,

503
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 1: if you're really just trying to like repay me, like

504
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: me and my husband are a package deal.

505
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 6: So yeah, I just feel like what would really like

506
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 6: mean something because it is hard to I feel like

507
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 6: I always go to like, no, you can't give me anything,

508
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 6: like you don't. But then it's awkward because it's like

509
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 6: when people are offering things like trying to do a

510
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 6: nice thing, it's like it's it's rejection to them that

511
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,880
Speaker 6: you're just saying like no, I don't want your kindness

512
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 6: and whatever, and say like can you actually give me this,

513
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,399
Speaker 6: rather than like him just kind of guessing with all

514
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 6: these material things that he like, right you know you

515
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 6: heard you mentioned, or designer things that people kind of

516
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 6: can say as a default that people would like, even

517
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 6: though it's not always someone's like cup of tea.

518
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if he's making a bunch of money, like

519
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: two grand for that might be just a drop of

520
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 1: the bucket for him. Sure, let's get back into this story.

521
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Update. I've had a bunch of dms

522
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 1: asking for an update. Honestly, the whole thing got really

523
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: weird and confusing. I was trying to wait until things

524
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: became more clear and we had answers to what had happened.

525
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,880
Speaker 1: But I'm not sure that will ever happen. Oh well,

526
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: the plot thickens. After posting, Liz told me that she

527
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: had decided to give back Jay's expensive Christmas gifts. She

528
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,679
Speaker 1: until he posted on Instagram about being out in an

529
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: event at a local bar for the night, then drove

530
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 1: over to his house with a friend, and they left

531
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: the gifts by the front door with a note that said,

532
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 1: and this is paraphrased, Jay, thank you so much for

533
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,239
Speaker 1: thinking of me this Christmas. While all the gifts you've

534
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: been giving me are generous, I feel bad taking them.

535
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: It was my parents who took you in back when

536
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: we were in school. I was just excited to live

537
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: with my friend. They're the ones who took care of you.

538
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: If you feel the need to give back, my parents

539
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 1: have always supported local charity. I'm sure they would be

540
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,920
Speaker 1: happy to know you gave the amount of these gifts

541
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 1: in their honor. Beautiful perfect. She hoped this would end

542
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: things and he'd get the picture. I was doubtful. Around

543
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: two am that night, Presumably when he had got home

544
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 1: and saw the returned gifts, he started bombarding her with

545
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 1: text messages. They were all some combination of he was

546
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: such a good friend and she was lucky to have him.

547
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 1: He was going to give the gifts back because it

548
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: was false modesty that she was showing in not accepting them.

549
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: She should always expect gifts from him, and he would

550
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 1: always protect her and be her hero. It was really

551
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: weird and creepy. We were already asleep, and the messages

552
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: came in so quickly and repeatedly that it woke us up.

553
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 1: We agreed to try to go back to sleep and

554
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,719
Speaker 1: deal with it all and in the morning. Luckily, we

555
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: were leaving early the next morning to see my family

556
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: for the holidays. On the way there, we worked together

557
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: to craft a final message to Jay. Liz told him

558
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,679
Speaker 1: in the text that it seemed like he wanted a

559
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: deeper relationship than she did, that she was happy in

560
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: her relationship with me, and that she was blocking him

561
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: to give him time to sort out his feelings for her.

562
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: Thirty minutes after that, we got a notification from our doorbell.

563
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: I'll give you one guess who it was.

564
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 6: He shows up, at their house. Oh my gosh.

565
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: He came back a few hours later to bring the

566
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 1: gifts back. Then he came back again the next morning,

567
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: and then again that evening. Friends started saying that Jay

568
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,719
Speaker 1: had reached out to ask where Liz was, saying he

569
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: was afraid for her safety. Luckily we didn't tell that

570
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: many people about our trip, and those who knew also

571
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: knew about Liz blocking Jay and all stonewalled him good. Still,

572
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: saying it was a stressful situation is a major understatement. Honestly,

573
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: the stress of it ruined our New Year's While in

574
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: my hometown, we visited my cousin, whose husband is a lawyer.

575
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 1: We asked about protective orders and he told us that, unfortunately,

576
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: for our state, there have to be threats of harm

577
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: or proof that he was stalking Liz. He says that

578
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 1: Jay's actions up to that point were not extreme enough,

579
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: but he encouraged us to save our video doorbell feed

580
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: and to keep a record of every interaction in case

581
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 1: things escalated. My parents let us stay in my hometown

582
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 1: an extra few days before going home, but eventually we

583
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: had to head back for a work event that Liz

584
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 1: had to go to. We were pretty nervous the first

585
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: few days at home, and I installed two extra cameras

586
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: outside our home with a wider view range than the

587
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: doorbell could offer. Luckily, we didn't hear anything from Jay.

588
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: After not hearing anything from or about him for about

589
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: two weeks, we couldn't tell if we had gotten lucky

590
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: or if something else was going on. While our closest

591
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: friends knew what was going on and all blocked Jay

592
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: when Liz did, we had some friends of friends that

593
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: Liz knew who were still close to him. We had

594
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: a close friend reach out to one of Jay's friends.

595
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: This guy said that no one had heard or seen

596
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: from Jay in about three weeks. He had missed two

597
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: parties he said he would be at, and hadn't posted

598
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: on socials for a while. Jay was the kind of

599
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: guy who would post on Insta three or four times

600
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 1: a week. I should have let the whole thing go

601
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,199
Speaker 1: from there, but curiosity got the better of me. I

602
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: reached out to a friend in the middle of February

603
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: who works in the restaurant industry. I knew they had

604
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: been in conversations with Jay's new company about becoming a client.

605
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: This friend told me that they hadn't heard from Jay

606
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: in over a month, but that there was a rumor

607
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: going around that Jay's business partner and I guess the

608
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: entire new business was tied to some sketchy stuff and

609
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 1: a lot of the restaurants he knew of had gotten

610
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,959
Speaker 1: cold feet. No one had heard from Jay in a while,

611
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: and this friend had not seen him at a recent

612
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 1: industry event. This caused one of our friends and me

613
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 1: to go into detective mode. Back when Jay had first

614
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: moved back to the area, a bunch of us were

615
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: invited over to a party at his house, which was

616
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: a huge mansion in a super wealthy area. Liz and

617
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: I were having a hard time remembering, but we feel

618
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: like he was telling people he had just bought it.

619
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: Let me guess, is my conspiracy.

620
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 3: Let's hear it.

621
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: Jay's business was funded by dirty money. And all of

622
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: his little gifts and all of his you know, his

623
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 1: mansion and all of his cool stuff. It's all bought

624
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: on credit, you know, so to speak. Or it's a rental. Right, Okay,

625
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 1: why are you giggling?

626
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 6: What is I just think that's funny.

627
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: I thought you were like tying that to something else

628
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: you might know.

629
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 6: No, I just think that's funny. Yeah, I think you're

630
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 6: being funny and I'm laughing.

631
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 1: Goda, It's like, why are you laughing?

632
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 6: Is that allow?

633
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 5: This is serious business, guys. I think that this is

634
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 5: all some sort of scheme for a money laundering thing, and.

635
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: It's really serious. Last week, the friend who I've been

636
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: doing detective stuff with found that house on a website

637
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: full of luxury homes for long term rental. We checked

638
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 1: on Zillow and the house was last sold almost a

639
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 1: decade ago, so we don't think that he bought it

640
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 1: and rented it out. We looked up a news report

641
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: for when his company sold, and we didn't see his

642
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: name anywhere in the article. That being said the only

643
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 1: person it named was the CFO, so maybe he was

644
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 1: an owner. We can't figure it out, So that's it.

645
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: We don't have any answers for what happened to Jay.

646
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: We can't figure out if he was just a sketchy

647
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: guy whose new company had closed, or if he was

648
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: some kind of scam artist. Maybe he got kidnapped, yeah,

649
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: or maybe he's being held for ransom. And by the way,

650
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: we have a King's Ransom full episodes with stories just

651
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: like this. And you can listen to them. All you

652
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: gotta do is just go to Spotify and Apple podcasts, iHeartRadio,

653
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts, just search. Okay, storytalk, do it.

654
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,479
Speaker 1: The King's ransom is yours. We got a little bit

655
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: more story left. I think, Hey, Dap betrails Jay. I

656
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: hope they're not dangerous. Let's finish the story. Part of

657
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: me thinks that he got a payday and is probably

658
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: living in Costa Rica or something. But I wouldn't be

659
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: surprised if he had been telling stories the entire time.

660
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: Maybe we only owned a few shares in the company

661
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: so we had a bit of cash, but conflated his

662
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: role and his bank account. I don't think we will

663
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: ever have answers. On the plus side, it seems like

664
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: he's out of our lives, and while we're continuing to

665
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: keep an eye out, we're hoping we don't ever have

666
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,959
Speaker 1: to see him again. And that is the end of

667
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: that story.

668
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 6: That is the end.

669
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

670
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

671
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: My husband wants to go on vacation with my brother

672
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: in law and do unspeakable things. I mean, I tell

673
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: you about it, but I there.

674
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 3: I really wish I didn't have to make this post.

675
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 3: Here it goes. So me and my husband have been

676
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 3: happily married for about sixteen years, give or take. We

677
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 3: both have stable careers, good family life and are fairly fortunate,

678
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 3: despite the cost of living racking up in the UK

679
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: right now the beans and eggs are getting up. By

680
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Throwaway Canning nineteen hundred and

681
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 3: if you want to spake your own stories, go to

682
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay story times uperate it. So we

683
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 3: have two boys, fifteen and ten mount and up until

684
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 3: this Saturday, I thought we had it pretty good. We

685
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: argue sometimes, of course, but it's never gotten too bad

686
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 3: that and we have pretty decent spicy sleep life. With

687
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: some explanation, but I will get into that. Long and

688
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 3: short is on Sunday, just after I dropped off our

689
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: boys at their friends, my husband asked me if we

690
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 3: could have the house alone, and more importantly, do I

691
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 3: have a minute? I said yes, and he sat me

692
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: down then got out this printed poster for some sort

693
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: of How did that not get blocked? What we have

694
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 3: gone this far and this word has not gone blocked.

695
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say spicy party. Then got out this printed

696
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: poster for some sort of spicy party and started explaining

697
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: to me the concept of attracted to the same gendercation.

698
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 3: It's where straight men go to somewhere with sun, sand

699
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 3: and booze and become for the duration of the trip.

700
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 3: But that's fine because it doesn't actually count because what

701
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 3: happens on the vacation stays at the vacation. If you

702
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 3: sign up for this, you're no longer a straight man.

703
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you're not be who you are.

704
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 6: It's the second dam of pride.

705
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 3: I was completely silent and mortified, even more so when

706
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 3: he said he was looking into a trip to you

707
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: Beat the next year with his brother in law, his

708
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: sister's husband, to experience it for himself. He's thirty five now.

709
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 3: When he finally let me speak, I just said, I

710
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 3: need him to be clear with me, is he attracted

711
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 3: to the same gender, because if yes, that's okay, but

712
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 3: you need to figure out what happens going forward. I

713
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: didn't let myself get angry or upset. I was just stunned.

714
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 3: He swore up and down he is not attracted to

715
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 3: the same gender, and he's one hundred percent attracted to women,

716
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 3: and of course he still loves me and her voice.

717
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 3: So I said, well, do you think you're by maybe?

718
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 3: He got very defensive, saying how I needed to drop

719
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 3: the accusations and that this is the beauty of the.

720
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: This has to be written to be funny, right, because

721
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: that's hilarious.

722
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 3: It allows strain men to experience hes without actually being

723
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 3: attracted to the same gender, and how it's like going

724
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 3: to an aquarium, and again he was adamant he doesn't

725
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 3: find men's bodies here Genitalia exciting at all, but he

726
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 3: needs to experience this apparently because he's excited. I said, well,

727
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 3: I'm not really comfortable because if he was by, this

728
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 3: would be explicitly cheating on me, and he got angry

729
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: and reiterated he's not because that's the beauty of the gacation,

730
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 3: et cetera. I just had enough and left the room.

731
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 3: I ignored him for the rest of the day, but

732
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: we spoke again at tea, where I again asked him

733
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: why he wants to do this so bad if he's

734
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 3: not attracted to the same gender. He said, how he's

735
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 3: interested in how you know men's life differ from straight men's.

736
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 6: He's like, no, I'm just going under cover.

737
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,239
Speaker 1: Trying to unravel the secrets.

738
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 3: And that unfortunately, oneation begins. It's simply impossible for a

739
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: man to resist, and he must surrender himself, mind, body,

740
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 3: and soul or be destroyed, be destroyed, become ashes. I'm

741
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 3: either going to submit or become ashes.

742
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: Are there like trips marketed as this, because if there are,

743
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: we all need to go on them just to see it.

744
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: I want to see what happens if you get destroyed.

745
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: Do they just have like a beam that just deatomizes you.

746
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: I think we have.

747
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 3: Another straight man who wants to go on the vation

748
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 3: everyone I do, but I don't want to touch any men.

749
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: That's what he's saying.

750
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 3: I can't really put into words how surreal it is,

751
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 3: because he was speaking on the matter factly, and he

752
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 3: again insists this is a thing that straight men do

753
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 3: all the time, and now he's actually doing it a

754
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 3: bit late. Yeah, they usually get started in their thirties.

755
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: I'm forty. I'm running out of time. I just said

756
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 3: to him, if he has any love for me, then

757
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 3: he can't go ahead with this, and if he does,

758
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: the marriage will be decimated. We didn't speak anymore after that.

759
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 3: Since then, he's mentioned no more of it. But somehow

760
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 3: this is what scares me a lot too. That decision

761
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 3: genuinely seems to be tearing him up. He didn't go

762
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 3: into work on Monday and only went in for half

763
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 3: a day yesterday because he told them he just felt

764
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 3: too ill. And he looks distraught every time I see him.

765
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: Dude, what distraught? Because every time he sees you, he's like,

766
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: she's not a man, and it's like that's his own

767
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: thing to deal with.

768
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 3: He's trying to make it seem like it's not about

769
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 3: to like him getting around. And two, I've never seen

770
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 3: anyone that missed a vagation, missed two days of work

771
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 3: because of how distraught they were. If this was just

772
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:39,439
Speaker 3: a vacation, well.

773
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a vacation. It's acation. That's the beauty

774
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: of it.

775
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 3: Like he was about to see like a bunch of

776
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 3: like dude's skinny dipping, and now he's like missing out

777
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 3: on it.

778
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: He'll never know what he was gonna see now because

779
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 1: he's back to being lock me up, officer. I'm the

780
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: straight man.

781
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 3: I really don't think he's holy though I can be

782
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 3: absolutely believe he's by but I'd rather we talk about

783
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 3: that healthy way rather than this incredibly weird denialism around

784
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 3: going on a spicy holiday to Ibita. Has anyone known

785
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 3: straight guys to do this and come back and just

786
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 3: go back into being straight, Like surely that can be

787
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 3: a thing that happens. I'm so out of depth here,

788
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 3: and I just don't know how did you even initiate

789
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 3: the conversation. For the record, I also haven't mentioned it

790
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 3: to his sister yet. I don't know how i'd even

791
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 3: break it to her. Thanks for any help. I just

792
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 3: don't know what to think. So being able to get

793
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 3: this out there has helped even a little bit. We

794
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 3: got netits and we got a PS. So, dude, I

795
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 3: don't even know what to say. This guy's trying to

796
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 3: cheat on you on a real level, Like.

797
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: If you want to get through this with your husband,

798
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: it needs to not be about the ocasion anymore. It

799
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 1: needs to be about, Hey, I'm telling you that I

800
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 1: wouldn't find it okay for you to just go have

801
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: a little escapade with me and then just come back

802
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 1: and act like everything's cool. I understand the beauty of

803
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 1: the cation, but I don't want that for me since

804
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 1: I'm your wife, so it needs to be like a hey,

805
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 1: like I want you to feel like you're okay, right,

806
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: because clearly he's not all the way straight.

807
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's just repressing, like all of his emotions.

808
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 1: And if he heard this right now, he'd just be screaming,

809
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: it's the beauty of the nation. What are you not understanding?

810
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: I'm not just want to spend a vacation with me.

811
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 6: I think you have to say you can be my

812
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 6: husband if you're by, but you can't be my husband

813
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 6: if you.

814
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: Cheat on me.

815
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 3: If you go do this and come back Edits wow,

816
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 3: this blew up. This has been incredibly sobering, and I

817
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 3: think I've now confirmed, but I already knew to be

818
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 3: the case. The marriage has passed away one way or

819
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 3: another in a way I was in denial myself about that.

820
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: I've contacted my sister in law. She's an initially screamed

821
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 3: at me, calling me a liar, and even insinuated I

822
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: was trying to steal her husband. She rang me back

823
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 3: short after and admitted she was in deep, deep shock.

824
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 3: I've asked my parents to look after the boys and

825
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 3: we are going to meet tomorrow to discuss this deeper.

826
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 3: It just realized to me that, imagine this is happening

827
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 3: in your marriage. You contact your sibling and this is

828
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 3: happening in their marriage too. It's like we're the only

829
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,240
Speaker 3: ones we got right now, dude, convenient or sat.

830
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 5: I think it's definitely convenient. I think you definitely want

831
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 5: a close relative to lean on in that moment without

832
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 5: being like this is going to change how they think

833
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 5: about me forever.

834
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: But it's like, no, your husband's doing it too. Oh

835
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:34,479
Speaker 1: my god.

836
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 3: I've also texted my husband and told him we need

837
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 3: to make alternative accommodation arrangements. But he will not be

838
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 3: sleeping here tonight, and I will have a bag and

839
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 3: he will be waiting for him. Not sure if the

840
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 3: mods want to lock the post. Blah blah blah. Thank

841
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: you all for those words, especially Champion Fly, who already

842
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 3: gave me the good dose of reality I needed. Ps

843
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 3: to see a lot of people asking about the aquarium

844
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 3: and at risk of doxing on myself, there's a pretty

845
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 3: famous aquarium here in the UK called The Deep. At

846
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 3: the very end, you walk through a tunnel that generally

847
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 3: goes underneath the main fish tank, and it's quite immersive.

848
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 3: I suppose my husband explained the aquarium thing, and it's

849
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 3: a bit like that. You go there and you observe

850
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 3: the fishes, and you even get a bit close up,

851
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 3: but you never actually enter the waters, get emotionally invested,

852
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 3: or become a fish, so it doesn't really count. I

853
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 3: don't think there's gonna be glass, you know, protecting you

854
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: from all the dudes out there.

855
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 1: I think I'm starting to understand what they're trying to say.

856
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm not sold on it.

857
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 5: What this guy's saying is, he's like, I'm just gonna

858
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 5: go beat and then not care that I was and

859
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 5: not ever be again.

860
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: That's what he's saying.

861
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 3: He can't come back to a marriage after that.

862
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: Of course not.

863
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:50,959
Speaker 3: So it's just insanity. This is a very bizarre anialogy.

864
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 3: And I pointed out that it makes no sense, but

865
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 3: he just got more in a huff about it. But

866
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 3: how I just don't get it, and frankly I still don't,

867
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 3: and I want to get to the update. Your husband

868
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 3: isn't proposing again, and he's proposing cheating on you with

869
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,720
Speaker 3: men while you're using magical thinking to pretend it doesn't count.

870
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 3: The fact that he's planning this with his sister's husband

871
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 3: even makes it more disturbing. His bizarre explanation about surrendering mind, body,

872
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: and soul isn't straight man curiosity. It's someone desperately trying

873
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 3: to justify exploring his spicy related reality while keeping his

874
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 3: heterospicy marriage together. His depression about not being able to

875
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 3: go isn't about missing a vacation. It's about being forced

876
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 3: to confront his without his convenient What happens in Ibita

877
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 3: stays in a beta excuse his meltdown, however, is not

878
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 3: going to show how desperately he wants to avoid facing

879
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 3: his reality. Opie says, I've read over this multiple times,

880
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,839
Speaker 3: and I guess the worst part is how I know

881
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 3: you're completely right. Opie should consider about the divorce. Opie says,

882
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 3: I want to avoid the devorce option, but I guess

883
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 3: that's the only option, isn't it coming to two? Says

884
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 3: so this is just a thought, But I'm wondering if

885
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: he's really planning on do indication or if it was

886
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 3: just to cover try to get you to agree to it.

887
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 3: What if the real plan was to get with women

888
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 3: while he's down there?

889
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 6: That would be a crazy plan. He's stupid if that

890
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 6: was his plan, or.

891
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: Is he so genius that we just can't comprehend the

892
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: true brilliance we're seeing right now. He's like, Babe, I

893
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: just want to go be with men. She'll never expect

894
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: they're actually women.

895
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 3: Obi says that I hadn't really thought of, to be honest,

896
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 3: and now the thought terrifies me. From the way he's

897
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 3: talking about men, the fact that he had a poster

898
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 3: for Ationian Spicy Party. I mean, it's one heck of

899
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:55,399
Speaker 3: abof Sureley coming to three. Tell him you're gonna have

900
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: a straightcation while he's gone, and if you're going to

901
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: surrender mind, body, and soul to other men, honest to god,

902
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 3: if my husband proposes to me, I've used his time

903
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 3: away to back up, move out, and have divorce papers

904
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:08,720
Speaker 3: waiting for him. We got an update.

905
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that one hundred percent. It's interesting

906
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: that this could be a completely different conversation if their

907
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: partner was like actually approaching it from an honest perspective,

908
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: which is like a really hard, vulnerable thing to do

909
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 1: to go to your partner and be like, hey, so

910
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 1: I think I'm like maybe into men, but I also

911
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: am your husband, and we have kids, and I love you,

912
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 1: and I just don't know what's going on. Then that's

913
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: a completely different thing. Being like I'm gonna go on, Acsian.

914
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: You have to be okay with it. Worst possible way

915
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: you could go about that.

916
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 3: Him saying he's late to it is him saying I've

917
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 3: been in closet for a while now.

918
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: I should have been going to this for years.

919
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: Anyways. Update, So when I last posted, I contacted my

920
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 3: husband to tell him he want to be staying at

921
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 3: home tonight and a bag will be waiting for him.

922
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 3: As you can imagine, we argued quite badly. I won't

923
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 3: go into those specific details, but now I'm one hundred

924
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 3: percent on board with the fact minimum he's by might

925
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 3: even be together. We've had arguments in the past, but

926
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 3: I've genuinely never seen him have such a childish transfrent

927
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:14,239
Speaker 3: before screaming about how I just don't understand theation. Absolutely

928
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 3: despite that phrase now and insinuating I'm actually a closet

929
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 3: officer because I refuse to allow him to participate in

930
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 3: his cultural exchange with the community.

931
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 1: Cultural exchange more like a fluid exchange.

932
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 3: Dude, what are you talking about a lot of you

933
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 3: said to ask me if i'd be accepted if the

934
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 3: roles were in reverse, and I did say it would

935
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 3: be acceptable if I went and slept with other guys

936
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: during that week, like clockwork. He was very angry and offended,

937
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 3: saying it's completely different because sho means nothing. What happens

938
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 3: in the stays on the et cetera, and so it

939
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 3: doesn't actually really count. When you go to Vegas and

940
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 3: lose all your money, that doesn't stay in Vegas. That

941
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 3: debt follows you out of Vega.

942
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: The money that you lost stays in Vegas. The debt

943
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: doesn't the debt, whereas I just be straight up cheating. Well,

944
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: I turned it around on him. No, but if you

945
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 1: see what happens in Manchester stays in Manchester, doesn't actually

946
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: mean anything. Doesn't it count. It's like bird watching. And

947
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: I think it got through to him. He went all

948
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: quiet and then started crying, admitting he thought of me

949
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 1: sleeping with another man is destroying his heart. But relationships

950
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: need sacrifices. So he had agreed volunteers that when he

951
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 1: goes on the occasion, I'll get one week in Manchester

952
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,439
Speaker 1: to do whatever I want.

953
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 3: He doesn't want me to, but that's what's fair. In

954
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 3: a twisted way, he supposed I told him to get

955
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 3: out of my house. Thankfully he left without the fight.

956
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 3: I know it's incredibly petty, but I also drained the

957
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 3: joint bank account in legal ind UK so he couldn't

958
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 3: try to use it against me. In about an hour,

959
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: I got a call from his mom, my mother in law,

960
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 3: who also screamed and screamed about me being a cheating

961
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,280
Speaker 3: or how I was horrible, what about the kids, et cetera.

962
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 3: When I find got my composure back, I just said,

963
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 3: ask her son about the getion obvious. At first she

964
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 3: got angry, but I said no, just ask him about

965
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 3: the nation. He'll explain. She called me an effing joke

966
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,840
Speaker 3: and hung up, and guess what. Later on it getting

967
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 3: into the evening, I got another phone call from her

968
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 3: in floods of tears. She was very apologetic, and I

969
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 3: told her she doesn't need to be the one to apologize.

970
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 3: She was also upset. She put father in law on

971
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 3: the phone, who, while he sounded calm, I just sort

972
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: of could tell he was on a war path. Again,

973
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 3: very apologetic, and he overheard that phrase asked my husband,

974
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 3: and husband initially said no, it's nothing, before explaining how

975
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 3: it's a modern thing men do, et cetera, and gave

976
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 3: them the same spill about what happens on the gation

977
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 3: man cannot resist the how a man must surrender to

978
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 3: the chen et cetera. Father in law just said they

979
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 3: told him to leave or they'd call the police. He

980
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 3: didn't care where he goes, but he wasn't staying there.

981
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 3: Husband tried to call me while I was on the phone,

982
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 3: but I just ignored it. And Vade law just said

983
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 3: he was sorry for me and that they have my

984
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 3: corner in this. So that's one thing. Oh wait, now

985
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 3: we're getting to the brother in law here. Oh no, God,

986
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 3: I forgot. I just want to know how he came

987
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 3: across this and where this all began. I mean, I'm

988
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: sure this all began a long time ago. Like got

989
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 3: a water cooler at work like that, were at office

990
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 3: and Bill came by.

991
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, you ever heard of it? I talked

992
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 1: to Sharon about it.

993
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 3: She let me go.

994
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it was a crazy experience. I'm the

995
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 1: straightest man on earth.

996
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 4: Though.

997
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: It's still kind of tragic because he's clearly like a

998
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: bye man.

999
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 5: He's not like he doesn't feel like he can do that,

1000
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 5: and a marriage is dissolving before her eyes. And this

1001
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 5: is why it's important if you feel like you have

1002
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 5: like a truth, to not like ignore it or bury

1003
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 5: it or lie about it, because if you do, you'll

1004
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 5: end up in a point where you're forty two and

1005
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 5: now you're telling your wife you have to Cashin.

1006
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 3: Told him to be there for their daughter because it

1007
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 3: sounds like brother in law is involved. Husband didn't tell

1008
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 3: him that, and valld in law just said he had

1009
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 3: to go because he was so, so, so so angry.

1010
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 3: I got to text him, my husband after the phone call,

1011
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 3: which was all weirdly rambily saying how I'd mistraded the

1012
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 3: tion to destroy his marriage and destroy his life, and

1013
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 3: again insinuated I and his parents were closet officers for

1014
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 3: doing such a thing.

1015
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 6: He's like, I'm not, but you guys are being not

1016
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 6: to me because I'm not.

1017
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:21,399
Speaker 1: I'm not.

1018
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 3: I just want to go on the cash told him

1019
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 3: we talk when he grows up, and blocked his number.

1020
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 3: I took a day off work to have to myself

1021
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 3: the locks have been changed this morning and that's five

1022
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 3: hundred pounds gone. Woo did you call? How many locks

1023
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 3: do you have in your house? But whatever, at least

1024
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 3: I know he won't be coming back. I'm going to

1025
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 3: look into how I can proceed with a divorce and

1026
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 3: then we'll move from there. Oh, of course there is

1027
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 3: the brother in law. So I haven't yet met with

1028
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 3: sister in law. She was in such a stay and

1029
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 3: has taken this far worse than I have, for reasons

1030
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 3: that will be clear soon. We're going to try maybe tomorrow.

1031
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,919
Speaker 3: But we did talk over the phone, and I evesdropped

1032
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,839
Speaker 3: on the conversation with her husband, or she put her

1033
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 3: on the phone on speaker and I went on mute.

1034
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: Her husband got home early. She made him come home

1035
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 3: and told him there was an emergency. It just said

1036
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 3: to him, can you please explain what a caation is?

1037
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 3: She told me afterwards. She was praying he'd look confused

1038
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 3: or just be like what or anything, but instead he

1039
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 3: just sat her down and explained that a gig it's

1040
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 3: a new thing where straat men go spots to participate

1041
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 3: in spicy sleep acts. But it doesn't count because there's

1042
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 3: no investment, and because what happens on the stays on

1043
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 3: the occasion. This is like whatever, going like door to

1044
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 3: door and being like the same spiel, like a salesman,

1045
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 3: Can I talk to you today about your Lord and

1046
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 3: Savior on thecation?

1047
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 1: The new thing?

1048
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 3: Straight men, go on.

1049
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 1: You're not the first guy to come around this place

1050
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,919
Speaker 1: I'm in. That's the sales principle. You wear them down.

1051
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: It feels like these two guys just want to go

1052
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 1: be each other and they're trying to come up with

1053
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: some other thing where it's like, all right, well maybe

1054
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: if we're strangers, then our families will be okay with it,

1055
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: which is the most insane thing ever.

1056
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 5: But you know what, maybe they're just in love, because

1057
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 5: when you're in love, you think and do really dumb

1058
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,479
Speaker 5: stuff sometimes conspiracy theory.

1059
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 3: This whole story is an ad for He said, like

1060
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 3: riding down angry thoughts and then putting them in a drawer.

1061
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 3: You never have to see them again the whole time,

1062
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 3: sister in laws and tears as he just calmly bats

1063
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 3: off same points my husband did about how it doesn't count,

1064
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 3: and he did the whole it's impossible to resist. You

1065
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 3: must surrender or be destroyed. Crap. I seriously think they

1066
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 3: must be speaking to a dominatrix or something, or even

1067
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 3: male doms because surely neither of them are into that

1068
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 3: to act make that up on their own. I don't

1069
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 3: really want to go into what was discussed for her sake,

1070
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 3: but it did become very apparent to me that brother

1071
00:48:55,360 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 3: in law is into I pocorn and at times conflated

1072
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 3: with the concept of a There was this utterly surreal

1073
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 3: moment where Sishemla was just trying to wrap her head

1074
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 3: around this while also in floods of tears, and he

1075
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 3: explains so generally so a matter of factually, for that

1076
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 3: most mention is either a one time annual thing. But

1077
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 3: some men go to the cation for years and simply

1078
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 3: never returned because they use the hypnosis and mind control

1079
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 3: to be totally feminized in a state of permanent pseudo.

1080
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 5: That might take the cake for the most insane thing

1081
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 5: I've ever heard.

1082
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 3: This guy was like watching way more YouTube videos than

1083
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 3: Opi Husman was.

1084
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 4: How is he.

1085
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: Still calling it pseudo? If you get lost there?

1086
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 5: He's like, yes, some people never leave because they're the brainwashed.

1087
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 6: They're internalizing this.

1088
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,319
Speaker 1: Be instead of do all this and deny that it

1089
00:49:56,360 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: makes you. I think that's even anyways, She said to disbelieve. Surely,

1090
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: if you're taking it up the butt willingly because you

1091
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 1: want to, that makes you attracted to the same gender.

1092
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: And he said no, because that's the beauty of the

1093
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,920
Speaker 1: You can do all of this, but you don't interact

1094
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: with the wider experience. So I just want to let

1095
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 1: you know that I can be intimate with another woman,

1096
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 1: and then if I can't be like, I'm still just

1097
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 1: totally one percent only because I wasn't committed to that woman.

1098
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 1: You could do that when you're straight too.

1099
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,760
Speaker 3: She asked him if the sissy stuff is what he wanted,

1100
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 3: and he said not on a long term basis, and

1101
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 3: was adamant this is something all straightmen do. But she

1102
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 3: wouldn't get it because she's a woman. Dude, now we're

1103
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 3: throwing in some some jabs. You wouldn't get it. Woman,

1104
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 3: What is it?

1105
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: The all men? What is that? Where did they read this?

1106
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 5: They like sent each other like a meme on Instagram,

1107
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 5: and then it turned into.

1108
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 3: This, I cannot wait for some memes now. Then there

1109
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 3: were more in seas of well that marriage is passed

1110
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 3: away too. I suppose the whole ordeal ended when she

1111
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 3: said to him, he asked a choice to make, and

1112
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 3: he said, no, he doesn't need to make this choice

1113
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: because the beauty of the cation that allows him to

1114
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 3: keep his marriage, because it doesn't count.

1115
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 6: He's like, no, you don't understand. You're not allowed to

1116
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 6: divorce because it doesn't count.

1117
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 5: It's in the terms and agreements. I have legal documentation

1118
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 5: and they gave me a little form. It's like getting

1119
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 5: your parking validated exactly. She said, that's not the choice.

1120
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 5: The choice is whether he's leaving the house that night

1121
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 5: or she is. The only good thing he did was

1122
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 5: leave me. And sister in law spoke about it after,

1123
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 5: and I'm just still utterly stunned. I understand she's gone

1124
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 5: to her parents for support. What exactly did we do

1125
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 5: to have our lives destroy it in such an abrupt, bizarre,

1126
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 5: embarrassing way. Personal advice, I'm going to look at devices

1127
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 5: and base statements to see if I can find definitive

1128
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,040
Speaker 5: proof of cheating. After that, I.

1129
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 3: Suppose I have to figure out to tell the boys

1130
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 3: why their father won't be going home because he's going

1131
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 3: to they for years now. And by the way, you

1132
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 3: can ride home with your favorite freaking podcast by going

1133
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 3: to your favorite podcast platform, searching up Okay Storytime on Apple,

1134
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio or Spotify, and you can go all the way

1135
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 3: home listening to more crazy stories like this gacation.

1136
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 1: It's the beauty of thecation.

1137
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the beauty of Okay Storytime. We got an edit,

1138
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:24,359
Speaker 3: We got a little bit left here.

1139
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: You got to give yourself up to it entirely or

1140
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:27,799
Speaker 1: it will destroy you.

1141
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 5: But yeah, any other thoughts, fellas is it straight to

1142
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 5: beis with that man's arguing, but be honest with your partners,

1143
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 5: because like, I really do think there was a way

1144
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 5: he could have expressed, like I feel uncertain about my

1145
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 5: sexuality all of a sudden, like not even all of

1146
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 5: a sudden, Like I don't know how I could have

1147
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 5: told this to you.

1148
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: It's like an impossible thing to say.

1149
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 5: If he comes from it from like a real vulnerable place,

1150
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 5: like that's still an incredibly difficult conversation. But it's like

1151
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 5: you're at least coming from a real place. This is nonsense.

1152
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 3: Edit spoke to other system law. My husband's family is

1153
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 3: older sister, him, younger sister. Original sister in law gave

1154
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 3: her a skimmed down version. She asked her husband and

1155
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 3: thankfully he was deeply confused, but mentioned about two years

1156
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 3: ago at a birthday party, he was approached by my

1157
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 3: husband and brother in law about signing up to some

1158
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 3: online boot camp around fifty shades club cross dressing. He

1159
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 3: assumed they were taking the piss out of him and

1160
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 3: told them to f off, and never really thought of

1161
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 3: it again. The fact that this has been going on

1162
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: for that long is making me want to throw up.

1163
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 3: For the poster who said about divorce options, I'm actually

1164
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 3: going to look into adultery because, plain and simple, that

1165
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:35,840
Speaker 3: is what it is. And that is the end of

1166
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 3: that story. Holy gal, They've been trying for years.

1167
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: Human psychology is incredibly complex, so there's no way to

1168
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of this without real conversation. But

1169
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: you can't have real conversation with him right now anyway,

1170
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,840
Speaker 1: because he's in dulululand he truly believes that that's the

1171
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: beauty of the gay cation is that you just get

1172
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: to do a like free trial on being gay. Yeah.

1173
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 3: But if you go there and you become attached, Yeah,

1174
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 3: what if you want to like continue your trial? Yeah,

1175
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: but that's you know that story.

1176
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:07,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og Hos. We're going get back to

1177
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1178
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

1179
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:16,800
Speaker 6: I want to leave my fiance because her family is unbearable.

1180
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 1: Bears, Lions, Tigers, What's next.

1181
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 6: I've been dating my fiance for four years and I've

1182
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 6: been engaged for seven months. We are trying to plan

1183
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 6: out a wedding for roughly fall next year. By the way,

1184
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 6: this comes from deleted and if you want to submit

1185
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story

1186
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 6: times sepreddit. So her childhood was terrible and harmful. To

1187
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 6: put it mildly, her parents were reaching self absorbed people,

1188
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 6: and she was the scapegoat for her two brothers. She

1189
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,280
Speaker 6: was mistreated and thrown out the moment she turned eighteen.

1190
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 6: She was, however, a great student and a hard worker,

1191
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 6: so with some scholarships and a part time job, she

1192
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 6: has built a great career and is pretty independent. The

1193
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 6: problem is, though, that she still has contact with her

1194
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 6: family and none of them have changed. Well, actually something

1195
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 6: has changed. They have become more financially dependent on her.

1196
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 6: Great they enjoy slowly creeping back into her life and

1197
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 6: emotionally blackmailing her for support for or whatever she can do.

1198
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 6: They're not pleasant about it either. They're rude, smug, and

1199
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:18,280
Speaker 6: generally enjoy being a nuisance. And my fiance can't say no,

1200
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 6: no matter the horrible things they say, or how they

1201
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 6: outright try and intimidate her openly. I've always known her

1202
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:27,280
Speaker 6: family history and have always supported her through the issues

1203
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 6: with them. But in the last year or so they

1204
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,879
Speaker 6: have become far more brazen and asinine. They've come over

1205
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 6: to my house more often. They make messes all around

1206
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 6: the place. Her mother acts like she's the effing stepmother

1207
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,800
Speaker 6: from Cinderella. Her dad drinks all of my effing adult

1208
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 6: soda and empties out half of the fridge. Her brothers

1209
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 6: stop by occasionally to act as mouthpieces for their parents.

1210
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 6: They practically trash the place and leave us to clean

1211
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 6: the mess.

1212
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:56,359
Speaker 1: Hey, have we heard of locks? There are these things

1213
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: you can put on your doors and then people can't

1214
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,080
Speaker 1: come in unless they have the key.

1215
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 6: Great investment, I would say, and where is my fiance?

1216
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 6: And all this quietly standing in the corner are practically shaking.

1217
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 6: I'm no fool here. There is legitimate trauma. There's her

1218
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 6: need to feel loved by them, and her hoping that

1219
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 6: they will appreciate her.

1220
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:14,839
Speaker 1: Before one of you.

1221
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 6: Noble commenters states the obvious. She's been in therapy for

1222
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:22,240
Speaker 6: this for years. I've tried to establish boundaries for nearly

1223
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 6: two years. I've been trying to push these booty clowns away.

1224
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 6: But this is her house she purchased, and no matter

1225
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,840
Speaker 6: the contributions financial or otherwise, she won't let me have

1226
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 6: a say on who comes into her house. She's been

1227
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 6: beaten down mentally and emotionally by them for so long.

1228
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 6: She has also told me recently that she wants to

1229
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,879
Speaker 6: earn their approval and that they were right about her,

1230
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 6: that she needs to be better for them. I've had

1231
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 6: too many emotional conversations with tears and begging to count,

1232
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,839
Speaker 6: hoping that she will take the steps to get better.

1233
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,800
Speaker 6: But she's an adult. I can't force her to do anything.

1234
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 6: I love her, but I can't help feel so resentful

1235
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,919
Speaker 6: of what she's doing. It's agonizing watching someone you love,

1236
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 6: someone who you know deserves so much better, openly destroy

1237
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 6: themselves for people like her family. It's been painful watching

1238
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 6: her cry herself to sleep one too many nights because

1239
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 6: of them. I've tried too many times to help her

1240
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 6: get out of their clutches. But I have to think

1241
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 6: of the future. What happens when we have kids, What

1242
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 6: happens when she is postpartum and invites them over, what

1243
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 6: happens if there's a medical emergency for either of us.

1244
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 6: What if our finances get tight and they still demand money.

1245
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 6: This is the in law family from heck, and I

1246
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 6: won't be able to avoid them. Tomorrow, I'm going to

1247
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 6: tell her how I want to delay the wedding until

1248
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 6: firm boundaries are established. If she resents that, I walk.

1249
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 6: I can't do it anymore. I refuse to watch a

1250
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 6: slow death like this any further. And we do have

1251
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 6: a small update, shall we discuss before we get into that.

1252
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 1: It makes sense that you're at a breaking point here,

1253
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 1: but I don't think ultimatums seldom will work in these scenarios.

1254
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: You know, like now you're just going to your wife

1255
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 1: or your fiance who's in a in fear like you said,

1256
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: she's like she shit in the corner like that, she's

1257
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 1: in a fear response, and you're trying to be like, well,

1258
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: I know you're you know, afraid of your family and

1259
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: your parents, but I'm going to now use fear to

1260
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: try to get you to leave them because I'm basically

1261
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: threatening you with me leaving.

1262
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if Op was gonna

1263
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 6: tell her about that. I think that I might have

1264
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,920
Speaker 6: just been like his own kind of boundaries to himself.

1265
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 1: Why you'd have to you gotta be like, hey, it's

1266
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: now you have to choose them or me. And I

1267
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 1: think it needs to be more like he said, like,

1268
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 1: I cannot see you this way. It's destroying me, right

1269
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:36,440
Speaker 1: think about our kid did potentially?

1270
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 6: No, Absolutely, I mean I think what he's bringing up

1271
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 6: is definitely valid. I just don't think making an ultimatum necessarily, like,

1272
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,640
Speaker 6: because I feel like to make it an ultimatum, you

1273
00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 6: would have to like tell her about it and be like, hey, like,

1274
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:47,520
Speaker 6: if you don't do this, then I'm gonna leave.

1275
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 1: Did he not say at the end he said, I'm

1276
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 1: gonna go to her and say it's either they stop

1277
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: coming or I'm out.

1278
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 6: Not necessarily he said, if she resents that, I walk. Oh, Okay,

1279
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 6: he does have that boundary. He's not necessarily gonna come

1280
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 6: her and be like I'm gonna blay this out. You

1281
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 6: have to think about it. But if the answer isn't

1282
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 6: what I want.

1283
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 3: I'm out of here, you know what I mean.

1284
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:07,959
Speaker 6: I feel like if you say that ahead of time,

1285
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 6: then it's not then it is an ultimatom. But if

1286
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 6: you kind of just keep that to yourself, then it's

1287
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 6: not like.

1288
00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: He knows she's gonna pick them. She's not in a

1289
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: place where she's able to not pick them because she's

1290
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 1: in like a fear response. You're not gonna solve this

1291
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: with anything but love.

1292
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 6: That is just so hard because in those kind of

1293
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 6: manipulative like situations, it's like it's really up to the

1294
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 6: victim to get themselves out of there, and that's the

1295
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 6: hardest thing to do. But there is an update, so

1296
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:36,840
Speaker 6: let's see what happens. So we have a small update.

1297
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 6: I talked to her and it went about as well

1298
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 6: as one could possibly expect. Currently getting myself set up

1299
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 6: in a hotel for a few days and working on

1300
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 6: a possible long term plan for moving out. Still a

1301
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 6: lot going on right now, but maybe sometime next week

1302
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 6: I'll be able to put everything together into one update.

1303
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:57,280
Speaker 6: And we do have an update. So okay, so it

1304
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 6: looks like right now is getting distance from himself. Let's

1305
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 6: see what is going the night after I made the

1306
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 6: first post, I had decided that I was going to

1307
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 6: have a heart to heart with my fiance about her family. However,

1308
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 6: she came back from work the next day early and

1309
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 6: I was already off that day, so I initiated the

1310
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 6: talk a little sooner than I planned. Essentially, I told

1311
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 6: her about how this arrangement was not sustainable. I did

1312
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 6: not feel comfortable marrying her due to how much involvement

1313
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 6: in her life her family has, and I certainly did

1314
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 6: not feel comfortable bringing a child into this world with them.

1315
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 6: I didn't want to tell her to go cold turkey,

1316
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 6: no contact with them, but strict limitations to start with

1317
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 6: on them coming over and what they can do around

1318
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 6: the house. I also requested couple therapy before marriage. She

1319
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 6: wasn't happy. She was just staring angrily at me while

1320
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 6: I spoke, and then started yelling at me when I finished.

1321
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 1: Oh no, I wonder where she learned that behavior.

1322
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, she told me, I don't understand their dynamic, and

1323
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 6: it worked for her. I told her that there are

1324
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:56,400
Speaker 6: harmful users who will bleed her dry, and I have

1325
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 6: never seen them show any decency towards her. She told

1326
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 6: me that she just had to work harder for them

1327
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 6: to appreciate her. I basically yelled at her that a

1328
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 6: parent's child shouldn't have to beg and plead and work

1329
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 6: for them to be loved. I finally told her that

1330
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 6: she sets limits with them or I walk. She was livid,

1331
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 6: and since I was living in her house, I was

1332
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 6: punted out. So the past few days I have been

1333
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 6: staying in a hotel and have had my stuff taken

1334
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 6: out and put into storage, and frankly, it's been great.

1335
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 6: I'm going to stay with the family for a few

1336
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 6: weeks around mid July, and after that I'm going to

1337
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 6: go house searching for myself. I've spent the last couple

1338
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 6: days relaxing, catching up on movies and video games that

1339
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 6: I haven't had time for, and could go back from

1340
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,360
Speaker 6: work to a quiet room without her family tearing the

1341
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 6: place apart. Yesterday, however, things came to a head. We

1342
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 6: have basically been no contact since she booted me out,

1343
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 6: but I know every Saturday her family loves to spend

1344
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 6: the afternoon over and she uses me as a shield

1345
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 6: from there. However, in a very petty move, I simply

1346
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 6: kept my phone muted all day and played disco elysium.

1347
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 6: I knew she would call back for help with her family,

1348
01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 6: and at this point, pure resentment was kicking in for her,

1349
01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 6: and I wanted nothing to do with her issues. By

1350
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 6: the end of the night, she had sent me over

1351
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 6: a dozen texts and finally two frantic voicemails begging me

1352
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 6: to come home. I decided to come over and check

1353
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 6: up on her. Long story short, she was sobbing in

1354
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 6: the living room, and when I came back to talk

1355
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 6: to her, she was practically crushing my back, hugging me,

1356
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 6: and sobbing. I gave her time to cool off and

1357
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 6: asked what happened. Long story short, her parents and brother

1358
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 6: came by to grift money from her and say a

1359
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 6: horrible crap to her. She wanted to have me come

1360
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,480
Speaker 6: over to help, but I was ignoring her. And when

1361
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 6: she tried to have one of her friends help out

1362
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 6: and everyone basically said if that, it all started clicking

1363
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 6: in for her. Okay, she punted her family out, but

1364
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 6: not before they said some utterly vile crap to her

1365
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:45,480
Speaker 6: that I won't repeat. She kept apologizing to me and

1366
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 6: told me over and over to come home. I told

1367
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 6: her plainly that I had started to build up heavy

1368
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 6: resentment towards her for some time, and while I loved

1369
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 6: her and understand it was trauma and not her being

1370
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 6: outright harmful, there was major issues that would need to

1371
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 6: be addressed if we were to move forward. And here

1372
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 6: are the issues. We got them laid out. She sells

1373
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 6: the house and moves. We make roughly the same amount

1374
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:07,640
Speaker 6: of money, and we will buy a house together. I

1375
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:11,000
Speaker 6: am a grown but man, and I will not live

1376
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 6: in a house. I have no equal agency over her

1377
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 6: family will never step foot in it. They will never

1378
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:18,960
Speaker 6: come over. They will be treated by me in a

1379
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 6: very threatening manner if they try and come in. She

1380
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 6: gets a new therapist and we start pre marital counseling

1381
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 6: nice like what we were.

1382
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 1: Saying, sometimes you just gotta try a new one.

1383
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 6: And give it a shot. She never makes me interact

1384
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 6: with her family. We will go low contact with her

1385
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 6: family right now, but make no mistake, we are working

1386
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 6: towards full no contact on her end. I told her

1387
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:41,400
Speaker 6: I love her, We have been together for a while

1388
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,480
Speaker 6: now and have beautiful memories together, and I know she

1389
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,720
Speaker 6: is suffering from it, but these are non negotiable, and

1390
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 6: if she has a problem with any of them, then

1391
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 6: we have to go our separate ways. She told me

1392
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 6: that she's realized for a while now that her family

1393
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 6: is toxic and unhealthy, and she wants to make changes.

1394
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 6: She has accepted, but some of these will take a

1395
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 6: while to see through. Now, I'm going to stay in

1396
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 6: the hotel until I head back to stay with my family.

1397
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 6: She is welcome to come over, but I have many

1398
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 6: clear that her house is not somewhere that I want

1399
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:10,400
Speaker 6: to go. Her and I are both off tomorrow, so

1400
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,840
Speaker 6: we will spend the day here and maybe go out.

1401
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 6: This is obviously not over yet, but I might not

1402
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 6: post anything else until mid August or so. And guess

1403
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 6: what we have the second post, we have another update.

1404
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 1: I'm applausing low key. Kind of a brilliant move Biop there.

1405
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 6: Honestly, she had to find out for herself and she did.

1406
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I bet it hurt. I'm sure it hurt.

1407
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 1: But like dude, there's times where people need cold water

1408
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:35,800
Speaker 1: and you could not give it to her with words,

1409
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 1: so she had to just experience it with no buffer.

1410
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 1: Clearly you had you know, you're emotionally drained from all

1411
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 1: this because you've been the buffer. You've been playing defense.

1412
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 1: You were the goalie for all of their toxic crap,

1413
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,400
Speaker 1: so you were just getting hit by it all the time, right.

1414
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,920
Speaker 6: And you were doing, you know, the right decision for

1415
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 6: the both of you or for whoever would be in

1416
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 6: that situation and leaving. And so when she saw that,

1417
01:04:58,600 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 6: she's like, wait, what we can do that? No, really,

1418
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:05,240
Speaker 6: no way, And it's like, yeah, you can, It's available,

1419
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 6: It's available to you.

1420
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 1: It's an option, Yeah for sure.

1421
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 6: But yeah, this is going great, very difficult things happening.

1422
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,000
Speaker 1: I think Op did say, like, I think what I

1423
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 1: did might have been cruel. I kind of agree, but

1424
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 1: it's nowhere near as cruel as what her family was doing.

1425
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, not at all though.

1426
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 1: It's like the lesser of two evils, and really, and

1427
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 1: it's not come from a bad place. You're not doing

1428
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 1: it out of spite. You were doing it out of

1429
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: I hope she freaking sees now, yeah, that they're not

1430
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 1: good and this does not work for her. Yeah that

1431
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 1: was so delusional. Yeah, absolutely.

1432
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:38,720
Speaker 6: But on to update number two. So, despite all intentions

1433
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 6: of not updating until much later, with the hopes of

1434
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 6: an improved relationship with my fiance and her establishing boundaries

1435
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:45,040
Speaker 6: with their toxic family.

1436
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 1: We are now broken.

1437
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 6: No, that is not what I was looking for. Essentially,

1438
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 6: what happened was after last weekend, where I left her

1439
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,640
Speaker 6: for the time to deal with them herself. She seemed

1440
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 6: to finally grasp the situation and was open to changes,

1441
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 6: including boundaries and a possible move. We spent Monday and

1442
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:03,800
Speaker 6: Tuesday hanging out in my hotel that I was staying

1443
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 6: in until I went back to my family for a

1444
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:08,040
Speaker 6: couple of weeks. The other night, she was being very

1445
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 6: vague with texting. When she originally was supposed to come over.

1446
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,280
Speaker 6: She came much later than expected, and I knew something

1447
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 6: was up. She basically unloaded on me how I was harmful, controlling,

1448
01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 6: overly demanding, and unsupportive. It took me five effing seconds

1449
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 6: to figure out she was repeating verbatim some sort of

1450
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 6: rehashed speech from her parents, and to be honest, I

1451
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 6: was so agitated at this point, despite making a huge

1452
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:34,320
Speaker 6: gamble on her, I decided to be a prick about it.

1453
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 6: I asked her if her family told her to say this.

1454
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 6: She said that they suggested it to her, but she

1455
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 6: came up with it herself.

1456
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, so wait, this the family that suggested this to you,

1457
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:45,960
Speaker 1: They're not controlling. The ones who put the words in

1458
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 1: your mouth aren't controlling you.

1459
01:06:47,720 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 6: I asked her to explain in detail what I did,

1460
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,360
Speaker 6: and she said I was living like a parasite off

1461
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:54,720
Speaker 6: of her. I reminded her that I'm paying fifty to

1462
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 6: fifty for her effing mortgage, fifty to fifty for utilities

1463
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,640
Speaker 6: and groceries as well. I have my own car. I

1464
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 6: pay for a job that makes just about as much

1465
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 6: as hers, unlike her effing leech parents who demand payments

1466
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,120
Speaker 6: on the weekly and raid the kitchen on the weekends.

1467
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,760
Speaker 6: I told her to try again with something better. She

1468
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:15,520
Speaker 6: looked flustered and said I was trying to isolate her.

1469
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 6: This is so frustrating.

1470
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:19,919
Speaker 1: Just let it go. You know, she needs to work

1471
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: on her situation with herself and her family before she

1472
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:24,400
Speaker 1: can ever be ready to be in a committed relationship

1473
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 1: with another person.

1474
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 6: I kind of smirked like a donkey and told her

1475
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,800
Speaker 6: that I have always supported her many friendships that she

1476
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,160
Speaker 6: has destroyed on her own because no one wants to

1477
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:35,400
Speaker 6: deal with her family or be used as a shield

1478
01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 6: like me. I was practically demanding to know at this

1479
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,880
Speaker 6: point why she is so hell bent on destroying her

1480
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:43,640
Speaker 6: life for these people. She just kind of shouted that

1481
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:45,960
Speaker 6: I don't understand her family and that she's just trying

1482
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,480
Speaker 6: to earn their love back, and was basically ranting at

1483
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:51,560
Speaker 6: that point. It's just so staggering to see up close.

1484
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 6: I have ventured into a few subreddits to get perspectives,

1485
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 6: and if you have any familiarity with them, you'll see

1486
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 6: how people who are victims by their own family can

1487
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 6: be so utterly broken by it that it'll wreck their

1488
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 6: brain to where they truly believe that they are the

1489
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 6: problem and that they deserve Well, that's how she was.

1490
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,640
Speaker 6: She was utterly broken and didn't want help. She didn't

1491
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 6: want to get better, She just wanted to get worse.

1492
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,559
Speaker 6: It hit me like a truck, honestly, the realization I

1493
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:19,800
Speaker 6: really did feel like a fool for trying, even if

1494
01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 6: it was what I was supposed to do in the

1495
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:24,439
Speaker 6: first place. She was practically berserk at this point, and

1496
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 6: I just was mentally exhausted and needed her to leave

1497
01:08:27,640 --> 01:08:30,640
Speaker 6: before someone called the police. She finally left, but I

1498
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,760
Speaker 6: had a few concerned neighbors check on me. Some of

1499
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:35,200
Speaker 6: her friends are aware as they have messaged me checking

1500
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:37,680
Speaker 6: on the situation. I told them the truth and that

1501
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 6: I just needed to be alone to think what to

1502
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 6: do next. Right now, they have revealed that she has

1503
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:45,760
Speaker 6: given them similar rants after expressed concern for her. One

1504
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:48,320
Speaker 6: had even heard that she may be possibly at risk

1505
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 6: of losing her job. She is definitely having some sort

1506
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:55,040
Speaker 6: of mental break. From my understanding, she is now completely isolated.

1507
01:08:55,439 --> 01:08:58,599
Speaker 6: She is actually sprinting into a horrible, lonely life right now.

1508
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,160
Speaker 6: There's nothing I can do for her at this point,

1509
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,720
Speaker 6: and as selfish as it sounds, I'm just glad it's

1510
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,719
Speaker 6: going to be behind me. And we do have another update,

1511
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:10,360
Speaker 6: but that is such a rough one. So update number three,

1512
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 6: things have kind of wrapped up, but there were some

1513
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,599
Speaker 6: loose ends. I completely forgot to change my mailing address,

1514
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 6: which I should have done asap, so a couple of

1515
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:20,439
Speaker 6: important things got sent to her house. I had to

1516
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 6: go pick them up, plus a final couple items that

1517
01:09:23,240 --> 01:09:25,160
Speaker 6: I want for my move that I left there and

1518
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,240
Speaker 6: decided that I wanted to actually take. She was being

1519
01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:30,920
Speaker 6: difficult and not responding to messages in regards to them,

1520
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,120
Speaker 6: so I had to go get them from her myself.

1521
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:36,600
Speaker 6: I brought a mutual friend just in case. Thankfully, she

1522
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:39,200
Speaker 6: was at least cooperative and letting me get my stuff,

1523
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:42,360
Speaker 6: and it wasn't much of an issue. Everything else was, though.

1524
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:45,240
Speaker 6: She had a lot of nasty things to say, telling

1525
01:09:45,280 --> 01:09:49,240
Speaker 6: me that she was already sleeping around, telling me how

1526
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 6: happy she was now that I was gone, telling me

1527
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 6: she's finally free of me, how she's going to be

1528
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,200
Speaker 6: so much better off without me, a lot of generic

1529
01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:59,800
Speaker 6: insults and horrible things that you would commonly expect from

1530
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:02,960
Speaker 6: an breakup. And you know what, it was so effing

1531
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 6: obvious that it was a rehashed script from her family,

1532
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:10,040
Speaker 6: and you could easily see how miserable she was. She

1533
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,599
Speaker 6: looked like a mess, like she hasn't slept in days.

1534
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:15,519
Speaker 6: The house was a mess. She wasn't even yelling it.

1535
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 6: She sounded so exhausted and broken when she said it.

1536
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, it was painful. She didn't even smile

1537
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 6: when she said anything, just a face contort it and

1538
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,879
Speaker 6: hate and anger. She was not the woman I knew anymore.

1539
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:31,080
Speaker 6: That person was gone. When I was getting ready to leave,

1540
01:10:31,120 --> 01:10:33,640
Speaker 6: she was still going on. I was fed up and

1541
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:36,840
Speaker 6: told her something along the lines of congratulations. Your friends

1542
01:10:36,880 --> 01:10:39,639
Speaker 6: are gone, your human shields are gone, your engagement is over,

1543
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,680
Speaker 6: your support is gone. Anyone whoever treated you like a

1544
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:45,599
Speaker 6: decent human being is gone. It's just you and your family.

1545
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,719
Speaker 6: Hope you're happy while they bleed you dry. Probably didn't

1546
01:10:48,760 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 6: go like that, but something like it. And she just

1547
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,680
Speaker 6: stood there, literally just stood there and looked at me

1548
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 6: with indifference and walked away. As I walked out the door.

1549
01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:00,599
Speaker 6: As we were leaving, the mutual friend, Tip asked if

1550
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 6: I was okay. I reassured her that I was, and

1551
01:11:03,439 --> 01:11:05,400
Speaker 6: I'm just trying to get myself set up to go

1552
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:08,559
Speaker 6: home next week. She also confirmed that she hears that

1553
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,840
Speaker 6: my ex did lose her job for not showing up

1554
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 6: for several days and basically ghosted them. They're going to

1555
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,520
Speaker 6: try an intervention next week and asked if I could participate,

1556
01:11:16,560 --> 01:11:19,000
Speaker 6: But I'm not delaying my travel because, frankly, I just

1557
01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,000
Speaker 6: want a clean break.

1558
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want me there?

1559
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think he said what he needed to.

1560
01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:26,600
Speaker 1: It's just I don't think his presence is going to

1561
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:28,200
Speaker 1: promote cool heads.

1562
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1563
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,759
Speaker 6: I know for a fact that if I stay involved,

1564
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:33,040
Speaker 6: I'm only going to be witnessing the slow descent to

1565
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:36,559
Speaker 6: either a full break or self harm. I just can't

1566
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:39,599
Speaker 6: do that. Despite all this, I'm actually excited for the future,

1567
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,320
Speaker 6: and I have realized that I ignored way too many

1568
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:45,439
Speaker 6: red flags at the beginning. Even with everything that happened,

1569
01:11:45,560 --> 01:11:47,519
Speaker 6: I know I'll be doing good and I am going

1570
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:50,000
Speaker 6: to be all right. I expect this to be my

1571
01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:53,439
Speaker 6: final update. I'm still in town until Sunday afternoon, so

1572
01:11:53,479 --> 01:11:56,840
Speaker 6: something could happen while I'm still here, but if anything does,

1573
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:59,799
Speaker 6: it won't be exciting. But we do have another update.

1574
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:02,120
Speaker 6: Oh god, it just keeps going.

1575
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:05,720
Speaker 1: Okay. I'm still holding out hope that this ends with like,

1576
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:09,960
Speaker 1: you know, complete cutting off of the family and like

1577
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:11,880
Speaker 1: just a complete wake up call.

1578
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:14,040
Speaker 6: There's more to the story, so it's possible.

1579
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:17,519
Speaker 1: This is a lesson though that there's sometimes nothing you

1580
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:21,759
Speaker 1: personally can do in a situation where even if he didn't,

1581
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:24,360
Speaker 1: you know, lean into the negativity or come at her foul,

1582
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:25,960
Speaker 1: you know, whatever you want to call it. I don't

1583
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:30,840
Speaker 1: know if he had the tool kit to address the

1584
01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:32,040
Speaker 1: issues she's going through.

1585
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:35,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's very complicated and very dependent on the person

1586
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:38,960
Speaker 6: in the situation for sure, and not just an easy

1587
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,040
Speaker 6: thing to just like come up with in your brain.

1588
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 6: You need to like study this stuff for sure. But

1589
01:12:44,439 --> 01:12:47,679
Speaker 6: we do have another update, so update number four. I'm

1590
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:51,080
Speaker 6: currently back in my home, stay with my family, refamiliarizing

1591
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:53,920
Speaker 6: myself with the area. I have one hundred percent decided

1592
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:56,599
Speaker 6: to stay here permanently, and I'm starting the long process

1593
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 6: of looking up homes in the area. I've been doing

1594
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:01,000
Speaker 6: great and hanging out with friends and fans. A couple

1595
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:03,160
Speaker 6: of mutuals with my ex fiance have let me know

1596
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:06,160
Speaker 6: what's been happening, and things finally seem to be getting better. Okay,

1597
01:13:06,560 --> 01:13:09,960
Speaker 6: the plan was for an intervention on Sunday, but Saturday night,

1598
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:12,760
Speaker 6: after her family visited again, she called friends in an

1599
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:16,360
Speaker 6: absolute manic state. It finally seems to have clicked how

1600
01:13:16,439 --> 01:13:19,599
Speaker 6: badly she screwed up. It was a full blown panic

1601
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,800
Speaker 6: attack and meltdown which ended with her in the.

1602
01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:23,759
Speaker 1: Er, which is good though.

1603
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:25,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's getting help.

1604
01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,800
Speaker 1: I guess that's where she should probably be at at

1605
01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:28,679
Speaker 1: this moment right now.

1606
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:29,320
Speaker 6: Probably.

1607
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:29,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1608
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:33,240
Speaker 6: Needless to say, she finally admits how miserable she is

1609
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,920
Speaker 6: and that she's messed up her life badly. Apparently she

1610
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:38,360
Speaker 6: tried calling me, but I had her blocked. She still

1611
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:41,280
Speaker 6: has her job and that info about her losing it

1612
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 6: was wrong, but she's hanging by a thread there. Her

1613
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:46,600
Speaker 6: boss has basically ordered her to use her PTO for

1614
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:49,160
Speaker 6: a few weeks to get her head on straight. She's

1615
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:51,519
Speaker 6: a valuable asset there and they are trying to make

1616
01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:53,439
Speaker 6: sure that she can fix herself before they pull the

1617
01:13:53,479 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 6: plug on her. Her friend group is extremely close. My

1618
01:13:57,160 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 6: ex was someone who was a very helpful in supportive friend,

1619
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:02,240
Speaker 6: so it makes sense that her group is going this

1620
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:05,320
Speaker 6: far and trying to help her. It is, however, an

1621
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:08,040
Speaker 6: unspoken agreement that if she goes back to how she

1622
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:10,599
Speaker 6: was again, they are all prepared to let her sink

1623
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 6: on her own. She's doing as well as can be expected.

1624
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:17,760
Speaker 6: Her family has continued to pester her with calls and messages,

1625
01:14:18,280 --> 01:14:20,800
Speaker 6: and they've tried showing up to her house, but have

1626
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:24,800
Speaker 6: been firmly redirected by friends and even neighbors. I hope

1627
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:27,519
Speaker 6: that she truly understands the kind of support system that

1628
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:30,720
Speaker 6: she has, as trashity crap show family disputes usually go.

1629
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:33,599
Speaker 6: Her parents and brothers have taken it too Facebook, which

1630
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:35,920
Speaker 6: from what I heard, has been in my excess favor

1631
01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:38,840
Speaker 6: as it has exposed their behavior to many more people

1632
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,160
Speaker 6: and seems to have shut them up for a little.

1633
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:45,000
Speaker 6: The guess is never gonna shut up. It's us, you

1634
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:50,280
Speaker 6: guess it. Okay, toy time. Just go to Spotify, iHeartRadio,

1635
01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:53,320
Speaker 6: Apple Podcasts, whatever your favorite podcast app is, because we've

1636
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:56,599
Speaker 6: got full episodes with more stories just like this one.

1637
01:14:56,720 --> 01:15:00,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're literally always over here. Just yeap, yeah happen.

1638
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:03,439
Speaker 6: Gosh, yeah, there's a tiny bit more into the story.

1639
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:07,559
Speaker 6: But okay, we're having another rock bottom moment. Well, look,

1640
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,120
Speaker 6: and this is the thing that some people go through.

1641
01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:10,519
Speaker 1: It's it's good that she's got a support a front

1642
01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:12,799
Speaker 1: group and they're doing this intervention. It seems like it's worked,

1643
01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:15,040
Speaker 1: and I like that they did say it's like, hey,

1644
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:18,360
Speaker 1: we're doing this, but if this happens again, we're not

1645
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:21,479
Speaker 1: doing this. Yeah, it's gonna be sinkersh women, It's gonna

1646
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:21,960
Speaker 1: be just you.

1647
01:15:22,400 --> 01:15:24,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, because at the end of the day, like you know,

1648
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,800
Speaker 6: they still have to look out for themselves too, So

1649
01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 6: if it's like really draining for themselves just like it

1650
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:32,000
Speaker 6: was for Ope, then yeah, they don't have to stay there.

1651
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:34,280
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna use my breath on this thing that

1652
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:35,280
Speaker 1: is not gonna happen.

1653
01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:35,840
Speaker 6: You know.

1654
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:37,400
Speaker 1: It's like when you have a friend who's you know,

1655
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:41,000
Speaker 1: dating some and you're like, hey, stop after they're like

1656
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:44,240
Speaker 1: wha wha wha whare And then after X amount of

1657
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:46,320
Speaker 1: times you're like, just stop talking to me about it

1658
01:15:46,360 --> 01:15:47,800
Speaker 1: and they're like what. And it's like because I tell

1659
01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:48,960
Speaker 1: you what to do and you just never do it,

1660
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:50,080
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it anymore.

1661
01:15:50,200 --> 01:15:52,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, stuff is so complicated, but there is a little

1662
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:54,960
Speaker 6: bit more into the story. Finally, she had one of

1663
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 6: the mutuals pass a message to me. Essentially, it was

1664
01:15:57,920 --> 01:16:00,519
Speaker 6: her admitting that all the horrible things she said to

1665
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 6: me we're not true and we're done by her family

1666
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:06,000
Speaker 6: as I knew they were. She apologized for how things

1667
01:16:06,160 --> 01:16:09,120
Speaker 6: ended and hoped that we could one day reconnect Sadly,

1668
01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:11,200
Speaker 6: I had to relay that we need to stay separated

1669
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:13,280
Speaker 6: for good and that she just needs to focus on

1670
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:15,479
Speaker 6: her healing. But I told her I still care for

1671
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:17,720
Speaker 6: her and I wish her the best, but this needs

1672
01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:20,439
Speaker 6: to be our goodbye. The message seems to have been

1673
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:23,040
Speaker 6: passed along and her friends are helping her process that

1674
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:25,439
Speaker 6: she's got a long way to go, but I hope

1675
01:16:25,479 --> 01:16:28,000
Speaker 6: that she can find her peace as I am finding mine,

1676
01:16:28,160 --> 01:16:29,519
Speaker 6: and that is the end of that story.

1677
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:31,840
Speaker 1: Wow, it's a good place to leave it emotionally, I

1678
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,720
Speaker 1: think for him, I think so too. I hope he

1679
01:16:33,840 --> 01:16:36,439
Speaker 1: learns the lesson of not falling into the like emotional

1680
01:16:36,520 --> 01:16:39,599
Speaker 1: negativity trap of like coming at people like with foul intent.

1681
01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:40,960
Speaker 6: You don't need to respond like that.

1682
01:16:41,439 --> 01:16:42,120
Speaker 1: We're only human.

1683
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:43,080
Speaker 6: We're only human.