Speaker 1: Who baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
Speaker 1: I need you? What to expect? As a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm
Speaker 1: a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
Speaker 1: know what to expect every step of the way. If
Speaker 1: motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, and I think we all
Speaker 1: know where I stand with that, then that must go
Speaker 1: double for Tia Maury. Tia has been part of our
Speaker 1: lives since she and her identically adorable twin Tamara, co
Speaker 1: starred on the hit nineties series Sister Sister. Now, if
Speaker 1: you were fan girling back then as a tween yourself,
Speaker 1: there's only more to love about Tia now that you're
Speaker 1: both all grown up. She's been busy since her Sister
Speaker 1: Sister years, starring in shows like The Game Tia and Tamara,
Speaker 1: and most recently the Netflix comedy Family Reunion. Oh and
Speaker 1: for your binge watching pleasure, you can now stream all
Speaker 1: six seasons of Sister Sister on Netflix. And as if
Speaker 1: that weren't enough, Tia is also an author, a producer,
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mother of two ridiculously
Speaker 1: cute kids, Cree and Cairo. A mom multitasker after my
Speaker 1: own heart. If you already feel like you know her,
Speaker 1: that's because Tia is authentic and open in everything she does.
Speaker 1: We're going to get to know. We're just a little
Speaker 1: bit better today because she's here to get real about
Speaker 1: her pregnancies, motherhood, and her own journey to better health. Tia,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for hanging out with Emma and
Speaker 1: me today. Emma definitely spent a lot of time hanging
Speaker 1: out with you when she was growing up. I feel
Speaker 1: like we went through puberty together. I wasn't allowed to
Speaker 1: watch TV like I got like thirty minutes a week,
Speaker 1: and that was my choice. Thank you, you know, sister, sister,
Speaker 1: and you know it's it's playing right now on Netflix,
Speaker 1: and the nostalgia is just on a high right now.
Speaker 1: So I'm just so grateful that we are able to
Speaker 1: put smiles on people's faces now, you know, through this pandemic,
Speaker 1: and the timing is just just perfect. But that's so
Speaker 1: awesome that you were a fan of the show, speaking
Speaker 1: of putting smiles on our faces that we all need. So,
Speaker 1: how have you guys been staying healthy and sane during
Speaker 1: this COVID thing. The first thing I'll say, is how
Speaker 1: we've been staying sane is taking everything a day at
Speaker 1: a time. Um, you know, if I'm honest with you,
Speaker 1: when the pandemic first hit, I was like, always on
Speaker 1: the go. I'm a social butterfly. I even have a
Speaker 1: butterfly tattoo. So to just kind of like put the
Speaker 1: brakes on rather quickly it was pretty hard for me.
Speaker 1: And then, you know, just kind of having the kids
Speaker 1: do social distance learning, it was just a lot of
Speaker 1: new things were coming at me so quickly. It was
Speaker 1: like being thrown in a pool but not knowing how
Speaker 1: to swim. You had to really learn how to adjust swiftly.
Speaker 1: So with that said, I feel like now I trust me.
Speaker 1: I have my moments. I mean just the other day,
Speaker 1: I like started bursting out in tears because one of
Speaker 1: my friends had invited me to go out to dinner
Speaker 1: with her. But you know, we have we don't we
Speaker 1: haven't been quarantined together, so I hadn't seen her. I
Speaker 1: wanted to see her, but I had to make that choice.
Speaker 1: But I've got better. It's frustrating and that you've had
Speaker 1: some challenges to Oh my gosh, you know, at first,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I got this it's gonna be
Speaker 1: fine whatever. And now I'm like, there's not a day
Speaker 1: that goes by that I don't cry, Like in a
Speaker 1: corner and a neetle position. It's nice to know that
Speaker 1: there's someone that feels like you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like I said, some days I feel like I have this,
Speaker 1: and then some days I just don't. But in regards
Speaker 1: to creating a edual, you know, for the kids and
Speaker 1: just for us as a family, has really brought some
Speaker 1: sort of peace, I think peace of mind. Every morning
Speaker 1: at seven o'clock, I get the kids ready, I get
Speaker 1: my son, I tell him to put on I pick
Speaker 1: out some nice clothes, like as if he's going somewhere.
Speaker 1: I tell him the brush his teeth, wash his face,
Speaker 1: do his hair. Because just mentally, it just makes you
Speaker 1: feel better. I mean for me at least know it's
Speaker 1: so true. Emma, see you can you come and like
Speaker 1: teach me your ways? It is it's I mean, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's hard to create a schedule when you don't
Speaker 1: have anything to motivate you for that schedule, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So I had to pretend. Now it's
Speaker 1: like act, you have to act. Yes, I had to
Speaker 1: we're going somewhere today, but we're not coming so here today.
Speaker 1: But what I liked about it was it forced us
Speaker 1: to do something different. It forced us to kind of
Speaker 1: put the responsibility on yourself to make the kids happy,
Speaker 1: as opposed to I mean going to Disneyland or going
Speaker 1: we were we were planning on going to not spray
Speaker 1: farm for Greece Birthday, but of course you know we can't.
Speaker 1: But it made everything more intimate. It made me put
Speaker 1: my like creativity cap on, which was a lot of fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think we have to wear a lot of creativity
Speaker 1: caps right now in so many different ways. But I
Speaker 1: think that's a silver lining, right that we all have
Speaker 1: some extra family time, sometimes maybe too much, but it
Speaker 1: is family time that we otherwise wouldn't have had, So
Speaker 1: that is awesome. So you were diagnosed with endometriosis in
Speaker 1: two thousand and six, right, and what were the symptoms
Speaker 1: that you had and was it hard getting that diagnosis? Oh? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so I guess I'll start with was it hard getting
Speaker 1: that diagnosis? Um, it was very hard. For years I
Speaker 1: had suffered. I was going to my regular doctor, which
Speaker 1: was a family practitioner, and I would constantly tell her
Speaker 1: about my symptoms. I was like telling her It almost
Speaker 1: felt like I was telling her about my symptoms like
Speaker 1: every time I would be on my period. But the
Speaker 1: weirdest thing was it was like she wasn't taking my
Speaker 1: symptoms very seriously. Um it was kind of like, well,
Speaker 1: just take a bath, take a warm bath. Or when
Speaker 1: I would tell her that didn't work last month, it
Speaker 1: was we'll get on the treadmill. Well, okay, but that
Speaker 1: didn't work in July. Then August will come around, put
Speaker 1: an eating pad on it. Well that didn't work either.
Speaker 1: So it was kind of like I was being passed,
Speaker 1: you know off, and that was very frustrating. And my
Speaker 1: symptoms were I was having excruciating pain when it came
Speaker 1: to my cramps, meaning I couldn't function because my cramps
Speaker 1: were so painful. I would be balled up in a ball.
Speaker 1: I would have heavy, heavy, heavy periods, meaning I would
Speaker 1: go through you know, my feminine means so fast because
Speaker 1: I was just so heavy. And then also this is
Speaker 1: very weird, but I'm very honest, you know when I
Speaker 1: when I speak about this, because I just want to
Speaker 1: be transparent just in case if someone else is dealing
Speaker 1: with this, there were lots of clots. There was a
Speaker 1: lot of clotting, which was very odd to me because
Speaker 1: you know, whenever I would ask someone else, do you
Speaker 1: get this? Do you get that? They're like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't have clots like that, and I'm like, well, that's
Speaker 1: weird because I do, so I would have to say
Speaker 1: those were my symptoms. I think the biggest key here
Speaker 1: that I want to share with people is your symptoms
Speaker 1: take over. You're unable to function. And that's when I
Speaker 1: knew that something was wrong. Was when the pain had
Speaker 1: gotten so bad and actually share this in my book
Speaker 1: Who Knew You. The symptoms got so bad that I
Speaker 1: had to call an ambulance or I wanted to call
Speaker 1: an ambulance because I was like, I need something to
Speaker 1: stop me from feeling this pain because it was just terrible.
Speaker 1: And that's when I knew. I was like, this isn't
Speaker 1: normal and I need to really try to fix this
Speaker 1: or figure out what is going on. So just even
Speaker 1: having someone listened to you was part of the problem.
Speaker 1: And this is something I hear all the time. The
Speaker 1: CDC even has a campaign right now called Hear Her
Speaker 1: for this very reason. Because women are not listened to
Speaker 1: so often No, No, What did you do after you
Speaker 1: were finally diagnosed? Before I got I think it's also
Speaker 1: important to talk about even like how I got diagnosed.
Speaker 1: I didn't give up, meaning I didn't take no for
Speaker 1: an answer. I was my own advocate and I continue
Speaker 1: you to fight. So I ended up finding an incredible
Speaker 1: doctor who diagnosed me just by just hearing my symptoms
Speaker 1: and listening to me. She was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: you are the perfect candidate for indometriosis. And I remember
Speaker 1: sitting in her office going huh that, Like what is that?
Speaker 1: She was like, your African American, you're in your mid twenties.
Speaker 1: But in order for me to properly diagnose you, we
Speaker 1: have to have surgery. And that was like sure. I
Speaker 1: was like what, I had never gone under anesthesia. I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. Did
Speaker 1: to that? But anyway, so basically what I did after
Speaker 1: my diagnosis, the first thing was I got the surgery.
Speaker 1: She properly diagnosed me, and then after having that first surgery,
Speaker 1: my symptoms kind of went away a little bit, but
Speaker 1: then they came back, so I had to have another surgery.
Speaker 1: And so she said, look tia, if you don't want
Speaker 1: to have another surgery read and if you want to
Speaker 1: have children one day, because endometriosis is a you know,
Speaker 1: a highly inflammatory condition that can cause in fertility. She said,
Speaker 1: you're going to have to change your diet and your lifestyle.
Speaker 1: That was the first thing that I started to really
Speaker 1: capitalize on and focus on after I was diagnosed. I
Speaker 1: started to change my lifestyle. I changed my diet. I
Speaker 1: changed I started to focus on my stress levels, what
Speaker 1: was causing me stress, focused on things that would you know,
Speaker 1: make me not so stressed, like yoga, meditation, and then
Speaker 1: just you know, started taking supplements, taking care of my
Speaker 1: body and finding that for a doctor to recommend lifestyle
Speaker 1: and dietary changes, by the way, so that is such
Speaker 1: a plus. And and to be honest with you, I
Speaker 1: was I was like taking aback because I was like, wait, what,
Speaker 1: You're not gonna like just give me a pill or
Speaker 1: say that this is gonna go away with just one pill.
Speaker 1: It was the first time I had heard a doctor
Speaker 1: even talk about food and how food can suppress or
Speaker 1: exacerbate some sort of underlying condition that you have. And
Speaker 1: so she had told me to stay away from dairy
Speaker 1: because dairy causes inflammation in the body. And I was like,
Speaker 1: what what you know? When I was young and I'm
Speaker 1: still young. But I think that's also the message here,
Speaker 1: is that you don't want to wait until something bad
Speaker 1: happens or something scary happens in order for you to
Speaker 1: start doing precautions, you know what I mean, just taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself. I wish everybody, every woman had a
Speaker 1: doctor like that. I have to say, now, you talked
Speaker 1: about both of your pregnancies being challenging. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: say most pregnancies are challenging, But how were they different?
Speaker 1: What did you go through? So what was so interesting
Speaker 1: about my challenges was I was gladly bringing them on
Speaker 1: because I was pregnant, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 1: was just happy to just be pregnant. So I was like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm extremely nauseous right now, bring it on, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, that's a great sign you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: you know. So, But after two months went by, and
Speaker 1: then after three months went by, and after four months
Speaker 1: went by, and after five months went by, I'm like,
Speaker 1: why am I still nauseous? Like this isn't fun anymore.
Speaker 1: That was the first pregnancy, that was what was the
Speaker 1: most difficult. Were you diagnosed with hyperremesis? No, you know
Speaker 1: what I I was never given that diagnosis, but I
Speaker 1: was told within like my next check up, if I
Speaker 1: was still, you know, experiencing this, that I was going
Speaker 1: to have to get one of those things that was
Speaker 1: attached to you that would just release Zoe friend just
Speaker 1: in your body. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no, I don't want to do that. So
Speaker 1: I started eating bread just every single day. And the bread,
Speaker 1: for some reason no longer made me feel nauseous. I
Speaker 1: ate it so much that I gained so much weight,
Speaker 1: of course, but then also I had a terrible allergy
Speaker 1: to it after my pregnancy. Isn't that crazy? Just don't
Speaker 1: take the coffee, I know, right, I was like, this
Speaker 1: is terrible. But you know it was so crazy because
Speaker 1: it was like as soon as my son was out
Speaker 1: of me, you know, after we had the cesarean, but
Speaker 1: you know, anesthesia will make you hurl um. But after
Speaker 1: all of that, it was like the nausea it went away,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, this is what it feels like.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. For my second pregnancy, it was actually worse.
Speaker 1: My second fact. Yeah, I was like, I am not
Speaker 1: that woman where or it's just very sugar gum drops
Speaker 1: and you know when you're pregnant. I was unicorns. No,
Speaker 1: that wasn't me. I had gestational diabetes. I had a DIMA.
Speaker 1: I had carpal tunnel that had high blood pressure carpal tunnel.
Speaker 1: I was like, is this a joke? Like every single
Speaker 1: time I would see my doctor, she'd be like, uh tea, yeah,
Speaker 1: well now you have this, and I'm like are you serious?
Speaker 1: Like are you joking? But again, I just took it
Speaker 1: with all of it, like with stride and with pride
Speaker 1: because I was just grateful to be carrying my children
Speaker 1: because I didn't think that I could ever get pregnant.
Speaker 1: So I was just always in a space of gratitude,
Speaker 1: even when I was sticking myself in the thigh with
Speaker 1: the insulin. You know, it was like a miracle. So yes,
Speaker 1: all children, All children are miracles. In my opinion, it's
Speaker 1: just to be able to have a child just grow
Speaker 1: in you and just started this tiny, tiny little thing
Speaker 1: and just become this beautiful human being. That's a miracle
Speaker 1: no matter how it happened. But just the process of
Speaker 1: just them being able to come to you know, earth
Speaker 1: side is just it's a miracle. So I'm with you.
Speaker 1: And so the c section you had to c sections? Yes, well,
Speaker 1: first of all, how is your recovery? The first one
Speaker 1: was better and then the second one. The second one,
Speaker 1: I guess because there's more scar tissue. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was older. I was like, I don't remember this,
Speaker 1: this is like this is I was like, this is crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that happens, all of those memories that you want
Speaker 1: to forget and then all of a sudden, But I
Speaker 1: will say this, if you do what you're supposed to do,
Speaker 1: rest and not do too much. That's the hardest thing
Speaker 1: about having a ces arean. How can you rest when
Speaker 1: you have a baby and you're taking care of that
Speaker 1: baby and your breastfeeding and you're just like, how, I gosh,
Speaker 1: this is insane. But can you take your meds and
Speaker 1: do what you're supposed to do. Eventually you'll get over
Speaker 1: that hump. And I think like the first I would
Speaker 1: say like maybe the first five, six, six days are
Speaker 1: pretty rough, but after that you're It's amazing how the
Speaker 1: body just starts to heal and plus moms are so amazing.
Speaker 1: We we rock, we do. And you actually wrote a
Speaker 1: book about pregnancy I did, which is Oh Baby, Pregnancy
Speaker 1: Tales and Advice from one Hot Mama to another. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that was after Cree was born. That was after Cree. Yeah,
Speaker 1: motherhood was the mother of invention for you to kind
Speaker 1: of like me, because I I delivered the proposal for
Speaker 1: what to expect when You're expecting two hours before I
Speaker 1: went into labor with Emma. So it kind of inspired you,
Speaker 1: it did. And I think what inspired me to that
Speaker 1: book was again, I was going through so much that
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sure there are many women that
Speaker 1: feel the same way, and I just want to just
Speaker 1: make light of all of it, make it funny, and
Speaker 1: make it fun because what I think people aren't really
Speaker 1: honest about is pregnancy is scary, you know, especially if
Speaker 1: you've had IVF or if you've had complications, or even
Speaker 1: if you've had a miscarriage. Going through the whole process,
Speaker 1: it's scary and it's nerve reckoning. And then what I
Speaker 1: was telling my friend the other day was you're also alone,
Speaker 1: Like when are you ever around a woman in the
Speaker 1: same household? Even that is pregnant with you, it's just you.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to just make light of it,
Speaker 1: make women laugh, you know, talk about the bloody noses,
Speaker 1: talk about the peeing on yourself when you Oh my god,
Speaker 1: every I had bloody noses every day. I still p myself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when I first had a bloody nose, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: like what is happening? Like this is crazy? You know again,
Speaker 1: I didn't hear women say, yeah, you know, when I
Speaker 1: was pregnant, I had bloody noses. So like again, I
Speaker 1: just wanted people to know that it's normal to have
Speaker 1: bloody noses, you know what I mean, Like when you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: it's fine, and and be stuffy and snore even and
Speaker 1: have that like gaggy feeling all night from the drip
Speaker 1: drip drip, the post nasal drip. Yeah, it's it's all
Speaker 1: the constipation that was mine that too. Or I had
Speaker 1: mentioned chess acne and back acne, so that's why I'm like,
Speaker 1: why didn't nobody tell me about this? So those are
Speaker 1: the things that I wasn't afraid to talk about but
Speaker 1: make light of and fun because it's normal. I don't
Speaker 1: want women to freak out. You know we're not gonna laugh,
Speaker 1: We're gonna cry, so I'd rather laugh. Yeah, exactly. If
Speaker 1: you don't have a sense of humor as a parent
Speaker 1: or as a pregnant mom, you are so screw so
Speaker 1: switching gears to parenting. So, Emma, there's five years. Yeah, boys,
Speaker 1: Lennox is seven and Sebby just turned to our ages
Speaker 1: are almost the same. But did Yeah, Sebby was born
Speaker 1: in Your youngest was born in May and we're June. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's so cool. My son it was June. So he's
Speaker 1: nine and Cairo is May five and she's two and
Speaker 1: a half. So was it hard for because they're so
Speaker 1: far apart. Was it hard for freda kind of adjust
Speaker 1: to having a new baby in the house or was
Speaker 1: he super excited? It was very hard? Uh huh, it was.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Was it for you too. I was
Speaker 1: a single mom for a while, so he was like
Speaker 1: super attached to me. I kind of like overcompensated for everything,
Speaker 1: but like presents and gifts and all my attention. So
Speaker 1: I think like it was a little rough on him
Speaker 1: because all of a sudden he had a new father
Speaker 1: figure in the house and the new baby. But it
Speaker 1: was rough, but you know, you get through it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you do, you know. With with Cree, it's interesting that
Speaker 1: you say, because I knew that it was time to
Speaker 1: have a baby. When I started to have a shrine
Speaker 1: of my son in the house, it was is this healthy?
Speaker 1: Like this is just wrong. This just looks wrong. And
Speaker 1: so when kiro, let me tell you what he did,
Speaker 1: which was so interesting. Cree he never was the child
Speaker 1: that would draw on the wall, you know, or anything
Speaker 1: like that. So he had gone into her room, and
Speaker 1: this was before she was born, almost up to you know,
Speaker 1: it was she was close close, and he drew on
Speaker 1: her furniture. He's very good at art, and he has
Speaker 1: this signature thing that he does with like these little
Speaker 1: swirl things, and he did that on her dresser. And
Speaker 1: I said, oh my gosh, I feel so bad as
Speaker 1: a parent. Because Cairo's room was Craze room. So we
Speaker 1: had moved Craze room to the bigger room. And I
Speaker 1: tried to tell him, you're getting the bigger room. You're
Speaker 1: the big brother, Like, look, you have a shower, like
Speaker 1: you have all of this stuff. This is so cool.
Speaker 1: He drew on her furniture. It was like he was
Speaker 1: marking his territory. He was like, it was, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so funny. That's so you know, right, so much wisdom
Speaker 1: there and a little guy. Yeah, but he's better now.
Speaker 1: Like they have the best relationship, right and it changes.
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. He is the big brother, watches over her,
Speaker 1: make sure she's okay. It's so funny seeing him try
Speaker 1: to pick her up, you know, when she's crying. That's
Speaker 1: what it looked like in a way, like that larger
Speaker 1: age gap is so beneficial because you really get the help.
Speaker 1: I mean, I wish Lenox would change diapers. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you guys, I have to tell a story about a
Speaker 1: diaper really quick. I hope I'm not digressing too much.
Speaker 1: So but it's interesting that you say that. You talk
Speaker 1: about helping because I agree with you. Cree helps with everything.
Speaker 1: Because people always ask me about that gap, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's been great. I mean, the only thing is is
Speaker 1: they just have when their activities they're just so different
Speaker 1: that your day is just you know, you're just like
Speaker 1: all over the place, as opposed to having both kids
Speaker 1: go to one one place. But Cree will not touch
Speaker 1: a poopy diaper. Cairo, she had pooped, and her poop
Speaker 1: was so heavy that her diaper fell, and my son
Speaker 1: jetted out of the room so fast that if I
Speaker 1: was in his way, he would have knocked me down.
Speaker 1: I feel you. I'm like him. I can't stand the poop. No,
Speaker 1: Creed cannot stand it. He's out of the room like gone,
Speaker 1: like lightning. I love it. Well, you know, I think
Speaker 1: we all have divisions like in our households, like you
Speaker 1: do puke, I do poop, you do flawed. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you have those. My husband two years ago
Speaker 1: create had the stomach flu and lord god, you know
Speaker 1: how that spread so fast around the house. But I
Speaker 1: can't do throw up. Corey like literally caught it in
Speaker 1: his hand, like the throw up in his hand and
Speaker 1: it's just like oozing out of his hand. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: for sure, we all have our limits. So your sister Tamara,
Speaker 1: he has little kids too. Now do you wish you
Speaker 1: would had twins? No? Oh no, I don't know how.
Speaker 1: My mother did. And she worked, you know, her and
Speaker 1: my dad worked, And I'm like, how how did you
Speaker 1: do this with like having to crying babies at the
Speaker 1: same time? How are you like putting the babies down
Speaker 1: like for naps and you know, getting us to go
Speaker 1: to sleep at nine and get putting us on schedules,
Speaker 1: and I guess being a mom, you're put into survival mode,
Speaker 1: so maybe that's what it was with I just think
Speaker 1: it's a lot, like I don't know if I could
Speaker 1: could handle that. But the positive is having a twin
Speaker 1: is amazing because you have that built in bond and
Speaker 1: you're going through life and life's obstacles together. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: my husband Eric and my's dad is an identical twin two.
Speaker 1: Oh wow. Cool. But the weird thing is I think
Speaker 1: when they were younger they did all kinds of crazy
Speaker 1: twin stuff where you like could cue the Twilight Zone music, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, they didn't do that at the same
Speaker 1: time two thousand miles apart, but they did. But he
Speaker 1: doesn't have quite the same bond with his brother that
Speaker 1: he did when he was growing up. But it sounds
Speaker 1: like you do, and that's amazing. Well, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, now that we do have
Speaker 1: kids and then she lives away, we were closer, you know,
Speaker 1: when we were younger, um, but we definitely try to
Speaker 1: keep that bond we actually had, especially during quarantine. We
Speaker 1: have something called sibling love and we I know it's corny,
Speaker 1: we call it. We call each other every two weeks
Speaker 1: on face time and you know, but all the siblings
Speaker 1: and we just chat and just you know, check in,
Speaker 1: just to see how everybody's doing. I'm gonna make my
Speaker 1: brother do that. What about you and Corey? So you've
Speaker 1: been married for twelve years twelve, but we've been together
Speaker 1: for almost twenty one. Whoa, how do you that fresh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep a fresh I know, you know,
Speaker 1: I think continue to date each other, like you know,
Speaker 1: we're actually going to go on a date tomorrow and
Speaker 1: we dress up, you know, like you have to stay
Speaker 1: in that dating phase where you dress up for each other,
Speaker 1: you know, put on some perfume, spend that quality time.
Speaker 1: Especially when you have kids, and when you have two
Speaker 1: kids or just a kid in general, your priority shifts.
Speaker 1: You know. It's kind of like you just naturally gravitate
Speaker 1: towards your kids and making sure that your kids are okay,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, am I okay? And then but
Speaker 1: you have to really focus on your marriage because if
Speaker 1: you don't, it'll be neglected, and then that's not good
Speaker 1: if that's not what you want, you know what I mean, Well,
Speaker 1: it's not even good for your kids. No, you're right,
Speaker 1: because they learned about relationships from their parents. So in fact,
Speaker 1: if you model the kind of relationship you one day
Speaker 1: want them to have. But I think it's easy to
Speaker 1: put on the back burner because you can't put kids
Speaker 1: on the back burner because they're gonna have meltdowns, right,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly, But it's easy to put your relationship with
Speaker 1: your partner on the back burner. And I feel it's
Speaker 1: so important, incredibly important. I mean, we had sex dates,
Speaker 1: Like we had to have sex once a week. That
Speaker 1: was like a rule in our house because otherwise we
Speaker 1: wouldn't get around to it. Heidi, this is the first
Speaker 1: time where I'm admitting it. We do too, what we
Speaker 1: do too? Yeah, once a week we have We always
Speaker 1: said we should do it more often, but once a week.
Speaker 1: And you know, when I was younger and I when
Speaker 1: I would hear that, I would be like, why do
Speaker 1: you have to do that? Like you know what I mean? No,
Speaker 1: but you, like you said, it's like you do, especially
Speaker 1: with kids and with work and all that, Like you
Speaker 1: have to to make sure that it's not neglected in
Speaker 1: any kind of way. So maybe a girl totally m
Speaker 1: what's the best advice you ever got when you were
Speaker 1: pregnant and as a new parent, that's advice that I
Speaker 1: that I had gotten that and I didn't listen. I
Speaker 1: wish I did when I was pregnant. Was rest when
Speaker 1: the baby sleeps, you know what I mean, like sleep
Speaker 1: when the baby. Yeah, like, but it's so important that
Speaker 1: you do that. That is the best advice that you
Speaker 1: can get. Or it's cliche, but but I will tell
Speaker 1: you that the one advice that I had gotten that
Speaker 1: was very beneficial to me was prior to getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: This woman had told me, Tia, make sure you do
Speaker 1: everything that you want to do, like even when it
Speaker 1: comes to having fun. So I remember I had you know,
Speaker 1: I was such a good girl, you know with sister
Speaker 1: and sister like I rarely got drunk and I was like,
Speaker 1: let me see what it feels like. Just get so
Speaker 1: I also just like, you know, but just like have fun,
Speaker 1: do travel, do whatever it is that you want to do,
Speaker 1: you know, and that you can do before you have
Speaker 1: a child, because like you said, certain things, it's going
Speaker 1: to be very easy for you to put on the
Speaker 1: back burner until things get settled again. The best advice
Speaker 1: that I had gotten for being a mom, and I've
Speaker 1: actually have a whole like business model off of this advice.
Speaker 1: I was just asking this woman. I was like, how
Speaker 1: do you do it? Like? How how are you press
Speaker 1: and with being a mom and with you know, being
Speaker 1: a showrunner and just being able to just juggle all
Speaker 1: of these things and you still have a smile on
Speaker 1: your face. And she said, how can the goose lay
Speaker 1: the egg if the goose does not take care of herself?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so right, So how can you be the
Speaker 1: best mom if you don't give yourself time, if you
Speaker 1: do not nurture yourself, if you do not give yourself
Speaker 1: self care, if you do not take that time to
Speaker 1: take a nap, if you do not take that time
Speaker 1: to meditate, if you do not take that time, you know,
Speaker 1: just to yourself, how can you be present and full
Speaker 1: to do other things that you love to do? And
Speaker 1: so that was the best advice. You also, in your
Speaker 1: spare time, have a line of supplements. Yes, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I know, but I do. I have a supplement line.
Speaker 1: And we talked about endometriosis and and my journey, and
Speaker 1: that's what inspired me to come out with this line.
Speaker 1: You know, I had gone on this personal wellness journey
Speaker 1: for myself and I had mentioned how taking supplements was
Speaker 1: a part of you know, me reaching my full wellness potential.
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to encourage other women and people
Speaker 1: to do the same, to take charge of their health.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to wait till something bad happens
Speaker 1: or until we get older to start, you know, really
Speaker 1: focusing on our health. Why not start doing what we
Speaker 1: need to do right now. But what inspired me the
Speaker 1: most about my my supplement line was, you know, when
Speaker 1: I was on this wellness journey, I didn't see women
Speaker 1: of color being represented. I didn't see representation. I didn't
Speaker 1: see you know, diversity when it came to speaking to
Speaker 1: that audience. So my goal with with answer is to communicate,
Speaker 1: you know, of course to everyone, but also to communicate
Speaker 1: to the audience that didn't feel included when it came
Speaker 1: to wellness. And our supplement line answer, it's tangible, it's affordable,
Speaker 1: um and we have an incredible prenatal with you know,
Speaker 1: my personal experience. I wanted to make sure that it
Speaker 1: had properties or ingredients in there that helped with nausea.
Speaker 1: So we have Pepperman's, we have ginger, and of course
Speaker 1: it's no gluten reservative free. It's not vegan because we
Speaker 1: have the fish oil, which you you need. But the
Speaker 1: rest of the line from even the gummy line that
Speaker 1: we have is all vegan, the men's the women's line,
Speaker 1: the beauty formula. We have digestive comfort, we have healthy
Speaker 1: Mood that helps with your mood. We have just incredible
Speaker 1: things just to you know, help you feel good on
Speaker 1: a day to day basis. But we're so proud of it.
Speaker 1: And it's purposeful, you know what I mean. It's about
Speaker 1: helping people get on the right path. So and I
Speaker 1: feel like, especially for women of color, when they become pregnant,
Speaker 1: often are at higher risk for things like justinational diabetes
Speaker 1: and pre acclampsia. To get healthy before you even become pregnant.
Speaker 1: And that's why I always say, take a prenatal don't
Speaker 1: wait until you get the you know, the pea stick,
Speaker 1: right until you see the plus line. You get yourself
Speaker 1: a prenatal vitamin. I say, take one all the time,
Speaker 1: like in your reproductive years. So I think that's great.
Speaker 1: I think that's great. So now I hear that you
Speaker 1: have a question for me. Okay, So basically my question
Speaker 1: for you is just how do you go about this situation? Okay?
Speaker 1: So my daughter, she's very very close to her dad,
Speaker 1: like she's a daddy's girl. Like, no matter how I
Speaker 1: can be, I can be around Cairo for twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: but she's still a daddy's girl. It just seems like
Speaker 1: it's just something that happens. And so she's having a
Speaker 1: hard time, like eating in her high chair in the morning,
Speaker 1: and she always wants her daddy to sitch with her.
Speaker 1: She goes Daddy sit, Daddy sit, Daddy sit, So she
Speaker 1: wants to be on daddy's lap. And she's very capable
Speaker 1: of sitting in her own high chair and eating herself. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's done this. She'll do it for me, She'll do
Speaker 1: it for everybody else but her daddy. Now this is
Speaker 1: where it gets a little muddy. Is my husband. He
Speaker 1: gives in to her, you know, but then he like
Speaker 1: gets frustrated sometimes if he has to do things, because
Speaker 1: you know, he can always be there to have Cairo
Speaker 1: sit on daddy's lap. But I'm kind of in a
Speaker 1: bind because he doesn't want to hear her cry or
Speaker 1: doesn't want to see her cry, and then he just
Speaker 1: gives in. So I don't know you. So first of all,
Speaker 1: I can relate because I'm not going to name any
Speaker 1: means here, but I had a daughter. I have a daughter.
Speaker 1: When she wanted something, she would just call him Gaga
Speaker 1: because that was her baby name for him, and so
Speaker 1: like she'd be said and tena rows old, and when
Speaker 1: she wanted something, she just like sidle up to him
Speaker 1: and say Gaga, and then he was putty in her hands.
Speaker 1: I totally feel you, And you know, in the end,
Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the two
Speaker 1: of you are on the same parenting page and that
Speaker 1: you're a united front, because clearly in your family, she
Speaker 1: wants something, she goes to daddy. I mean, I always say,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like traffic rules. If all the traffic
Speaker 1: rules were changing all the time, and you knew that
Speaker 1: on Monday the red light men stop, and then on
Speaker 1: Tuesday and then go or it meant whatever you wanted
Speaker 1: to me and on that day, then there would be chaos,
Speaker 1: right because the rules were always changing. You know, there
Speaker 1: are so few absolutes and parenting. You know, like you
Speaker 1: gotta love your child, you gotta keep your child healthy
Speaker 1: and safe. But if I were going to add one more,
Speaker 1: be consistency. You have to be consistent and you have
Speaker 1: to be consistent between the parents. Yes, that makes so
Speaker 1: much sense, and I'm telling you there's definitely no consistency
Speaker 1: when it comes to that. But also thank you so
Speaker 1: much for that, because now I'm just going to talk
Speaker 1: to Cory and just, you know, see what is it
Speaker 1: that we both agree to exactly. I think sometimes parents
Speaker 1: feel like there has to be a certain number of
Speaker 1: times a day they say no, just you know, to
Speaker 1: maintain their authority. But it's not like you have to
Speaker 1: say no all the time or that you have to
Speaker 1: have a certain number of rules. You just have to
Speaker 1: have what is non negotiable yes in our home, and
Speaker 1: that whether it's jumping on the bed or whether it's
Speaker 1: eating in the high chair, that's reasonable. As guys, It's
Speaker 1: always the same no matter who's in charge, got it? Oh?
Speaker 1: I like that. Okay, I'm gonna check in with you
Speaker 1: Heidi in like two weeks until you have literally literally
Speaker 1: describing my house no boundaries. I'm like, I'm learning to
Speaker 1: to I'm learning to Okay, No, it's hard. It's hard,
Speaker 1: especially with a taller, manipulated little creature. So Tea, I
Speaker 1: want to thank you so much. Thank you for hanging
Speaker 1: out today, no problem. I love supporting women. I love
Speaker 1: speaking about family and babies and all that stuff. So
Speaker 1: this was something that I was truly looking forward to.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for all that you're doing.
Speaker 1: Oh so I appreciate it. It takes a village, right,
Speaker 1: we're allus together, yet we are. Thank you. Thank baby below,
Speaker 1: my baby belove. I need you, oh how I need you.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here for you. What
Speaker 1: to Expect is always here for you. We're all in
Speaker 1: this together. For more on what you heard on today's episodes,
Speaker 1: visit what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can
Speaker 1: also check out what Tooks Back, when You're Expecting, What
Speaker 1: to Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
Speaker 1: And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
Speaker 1: on our community message board or on our social media.
Speaker 1: You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Speaker 1: Emma bing wt E and of course at What to Expect.
Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio from More shows
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