1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: Who baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how 2 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: I need you? What to expect? As a production of 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,760 Speaker 1: a mom on a mission, a mission to help you 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: know what to expect every step of the way. If 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, and I think we all 7 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: know where I stand with that, then that must go 8 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: double for Tia Maury. Tia has been part of our 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: lives since she and her identically adorable twin Tamara, co 10 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: starred on the hit nineties series Sister Sister. Now, if 11 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: you were fan girling back then as a tween yourself, 12 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: there's only more to love about Tia now that you're 13 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: both all grown up. She's been busy since her Sister 14 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: Sister years, starring in shows like The Game Tia and Tamara, 15 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: and most recently the Netflix comedy Family Reunion. Oh and 16 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: for your binge watching pleasure, you can now stream all 17 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: six seasons of Sister Sister on Netflix. And as if 18 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 1: that weren't enough, Tia is also an author, a producer, 19 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur, a wife, and a mother of two ridiculously 20 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: cute kids, Cree and Cairo. A mom multitasker after my 21 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: own heart. If you already feel like you know her, 22 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: that's because Tia is authentic and open in everything she does. 23 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: We're going to get to know. We're just a little 24 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: bit better today because she's here to get real about 25 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: her pregnancies, motherhood, and her own journey to better health. Tia, 26 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: thank you so much for hanging out with Emma and 27 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: me today. Emma definitely spent a lot of time hanging 28 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: out with you when she was growing up. I feel 29 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: like we went through puberty together. I wasn't allowed to 30 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: watch TV like I got like thirty minutes a week, 31 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: and that was my choice. Thank you, you know, sister, sister, 32 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: and you know it's it's playing right now on Netflix, 33 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: and the nostalgia is just on a high right now. 34 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: So I'm just so grateful that we are able to 35 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: put smiles on people's faces now, you know, through this pandemic, 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: and the timing is just just perfect. But that's so 37 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: awesome that you were a fan of the show, speaking 38 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,839 Speaker 1: of putting smiles on our faces that we all need. So, 39 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: how have you guys been staying healthy and sane during 40 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: this COVID thing. The first thing I'll say, is how 41 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: we've been staying sane is taking everything a day at 42 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: a time. Um, you know, if I'm honest with you, 43 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: when the pandemic first hit, I was like, always on 44 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: the go. I'm a social butterfly. I even have a 45 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: butterfly tattoo. So to just kind of like put the 46 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: brakes on rather quickly it was pretty hard for me. 47 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: And then, you know, just kind of having the kids 48 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: do social distance learning, it was just a lot of 49 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: new things were coming at me so quickly. It was 50 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: like being thrown in a pool but not knowing how 51 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 1: to swim. You had to really learn how to adjust swiftly. 52 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: So with that said, I feel like now I trust me. 53 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: I have my moments. I mean just the other day, 54 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: I like started bursting out in tears because one of 55 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: my friends had invited me to go out to dinner 56 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: with her. But you know, we have we don't we 57 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: haven't been quarantined together, so I hadn't seen her. I 58 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: wanted to see her, but I had to make that choice. 59 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: But I've got better. It's frustrating and that you've had 60 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: some challenges to Oh my gosh, you know, at first, 61 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I got this it's gonna be 62 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: fine whatever. And now I'm like, there's not a day 63 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: that goes by that I don't cry, Like in a 64 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: corner and a neetle position. It's nice to know that 65 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: there's someone that feels like you, you know what I mean. 66 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: Like I said, some days I feel like I have this, 67 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: and then some days I just don't. But in regards 68 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: to creating a edual, you know, for the kids and 69 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: just for us as a family, has really brought some 70 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: sort of peace, I think peace of mind. Every morning 71 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: at seven o'clock, I get the kids ready, I get 72 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: my son, I tell him to put on I pick 73 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: out some nice clothes, like as if he's going somewhere. 74 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: I tell him the brush his teeth, wash his face, 75 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 1: do his hair. Because just mentally, it just makes you 76 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: feel better. I mean for me at least know it's 77 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: so true. Emma, see you can you come and like 78 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: teach me your ways? It is it's I mean, it's 79 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: it's it's hard to create a schedule when you don't 80 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: have anything to motivate you for that schedule, you know 81 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: what I mean. So I had to pretend. Now it's 82 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: like act, you have to act. Yes, I had to 83 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: we're going somewhere today, but we're not coming so here today. 84 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: But what I liked about it was it forced us 85 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: to do something different. It forced us to kind of 86 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: put the responsibility on yourself to make the kids happy, 87 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: as opposed to I mean going to Disneyland or going 88 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: we were we were planning on going to not spray 89 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: farm for Greece Birthday, but of course you know we can't. 90 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: But it made everything more intimate. It made me put 91 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: my like creativity cap on, which was a lot of fun. Yeah. 92 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 1: I think we have to wear a lot of creativity 93 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 1: caps right now in so many different ways. But I 94 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: think that's a silver lining, right that we all have 95 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: some extra family time, sometimes maybe too much, but it 96 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: is family time that we otherwise wouldn't have had, So 97 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: that is awesome. So you were diagnosed with endometriosis in 98 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 1: two thousand and six, right, and what were the symptoms 99 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 1: that you had and was it hard getting that diagnosis? Oh? Well, okay, 100 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: so I guess I'll start with was it hard getting 101 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: that diagnosis? Um, it was very hard. For years I 102 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: had suffered. I was going to my regular doctor, which 103 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: was a family practitioner, and I would constantly tell her 104 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 1: about my symptoms. I was like telling her It almost 105 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 1: felt like I was telling her about my symptoms like 106 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 1: every time I would be on my period. But the 107 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: weirdest thing was it was like she wasn't taking my 108 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: symptoms very seriously. Um it was kind of like, well, 109 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: just take a bath, take a warm bath. Or when 110 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: I would tell her that didn't work last month, it 111 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: was we'll get on the treadmill. Well, okay, but that 112 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,159 Speaker 1: didn't work in July. Then August will come around, put 113 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: an eating pad on it. Well that didn't work either. 114 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: So it was kind of like I was being passed, 115 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: you know off, and that was very frustrating. And my 116 00:06:54,760 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 1: symptoms were I was having excruciating pain when it came 117 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: to my cramps, meaning I couldn't function because my cramps 118 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: were so painful. I would be balled up in a ball. 119 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: I would have heavy, heavy, heavy periods, meaning I would 120 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: go through you know, my feminine means so fast because 121 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: I was just so heavy. And then also this is 122 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: very weird, but I'm very honest, you know when I 123 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: when I speak about this, because I just want to 124 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: be transparent just in case if someone else is dealing 125 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: with this, there were lots of clots. There was a 126 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: lot of clotting, which was very odd to me because 127 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: you know, whenever I would ask someone else, do you 128 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: get this? Do you get that? They're like, no, I 129 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: don't have clots like that, and I'm like, well, that's 130 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: weird because I do, so I would have to say 131 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: those were my symptoms. I think the biggest key here 132 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: that I want to share with people is your symptoms 133 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: take over. You're unable to function. And that's when I 134 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: knew that something was wrong. Was when the pain had 135 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 1: gotten so bad and actually share this in my book 136 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: Who Knew You. The symptoms got so bad that I 137 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: had to call an ambulance or I wanted to call 138 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: an ambulance because I was like, I need something to 139 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: stop me from feeling this pain because it was just terrible. 140 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: And that's when I knew. I was like, this isn't 141 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: normal and I need to really try to fix this 142 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: or figure out what is going on. So just even 143 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: having someone listened to you was part of the problem. 144 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: And this is something I hear all the time. The 145 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: CDC even has a campaign right now called Hear Her 146 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: for this very reason. Because women are not listened to 147 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: so often No, No, What did you do after you 148 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 1: were finally diagnosed? Before I got I think it's also 149 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: important to talk about even like how I got diagnosed. 150 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 1: I didn't give up, meaning I didn't take no for 151 00:08:54,200 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: an answer. I was my own advocate and I continue 152 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: you to fight. So I ended up finding an incredible 153 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: doctor who diagnosed me just by just hearing my symptoms 154 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: and listening to me. She was like, you know what, 155 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: you are the perfect candidate for indometriosis. And I remember 156 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: sitting in her office going huh that, Like what is that? 157 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 1: She was like, your African American, you're in your mid twenties. 158 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: But in order for me to properly diagnose you, we 159 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: have to have surgery. And that was like sure. I 160 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: was like what, I had never gone under anesthesia. I 161 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 1: was just like, oh my gosh, I'm so scared. Did 162 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: to that? But anyway, so basically what I did after 163 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: my diagnosis, the first thing was I got the surgery. 164 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: She properly diagnosed me, and then after having that first surgery, 165 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: my symptoms kind of went away a little bit, but 166 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: then they came back, so I had to have another surgery. 167 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: And so she said, look tia, if you don't want 168 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: to have another surgery read and if you want to 169 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: have children one day, because endometriosis is a you know, 170 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: a highly inflammatory condition that can cause in fertility. She said, 171 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: you're going to have to change your diet and your lifestyle. 172 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: That was the first thing that I started to really 173 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: capitalize on and focus on after I was diagnosed. I 174 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: started to change my lifestyle. I changed my diet. I 175 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: changed I started to focus on my stress levels, what 176 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: was causing me stress, focused on things that would you know, 177 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: make me not so stressed, like yoga, meditation, and then 178 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: just you know, started taking supplements, taking care of my 179 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: body and finding that for a doctor to recommend lifestyle 180 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 1: and dietary changes, by the way, so that is such 181 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: a plus. And and to be honest with you, I 182 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: was I was like taking aback because I was like, wait, what, 183 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 1: You're not gonna like just give me a pill or 184 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: say that this is gonna go away with just one pill. 185 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: It was the first time I had heard a doctor 186 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: even talk about food and how food can suppress or 187 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: exacerbate some sort of underlying condition that you have. And 188 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: so she had told me to stay away from dairy 189 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: because dairy causes inflammation in the body. And I was like, 190 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: what what you know? When I was young and I'm 191 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: still young. But I think that's also the message here, 192 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: is that you don't want to wait until something bad 193 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: happens or something scary happens in order for you to 194 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 1: start doing precautions, you know what I mean, just taking 195 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: care of yourself. I wish everybody, every woman had a 196 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: doctor like that. I have to say, now, you talked 197 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: about both of your pregnancies being challenging. Yeah, I would 198 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: say most pregnancies are challenging, But how were they different? 199 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: What did you go through? So what was so interesting 200 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: about my challenges was I was gladly bringing them on 201 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: because I was pregnant, you know what I mean. I 202 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: was just happy to just be pregnant. So I was like, Okay, yeah, 203 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: I'm I'm extremely nauseous right now, bring it on, you 204 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, that's a great sign you're pregnant, 205 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: you know. So, But after two months went by, and 206 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 1: then after three months went by, and after four months 207 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 1: went by, and after five months went by, I'm like, 208 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: why am I still nauseous? Like this isn't fun anymore. 209 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: That was the first pregnancy, that was what was the 210 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: most difficult. Were you diagnosed with hyperremesis? No, you know 211 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: what I I was never given that diagnosis, but I 212 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: was told within like my next check up, if I 213 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: was still, you know, experiencing this, that I was going 214 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: to have to get one of those things that was 215 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: attached to you that would just release Zoe friend just 216 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: in your body. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, 217 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: no no no, I don't want to do that. So 218 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: I started eating bread just every single day. And the bread, 219 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,559 Speaker 1: for some reason no longer made me feel nauseous. I 220 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: ate it so much that I gained so much weight, 221 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: of course, but then also I had a terrible allergy 222 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: to it after my pregnancy. Isn't that crazy? Just don't 223 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: take the coffee, I know, right, I was like, this 224 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 1: is terrible. But you know it was so crazy because 225 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: it was like as soon as my son was out 226 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: of me, you know, after we had the cesarean, but 227 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: you know, anesthesia will make you hurl um. But after 228 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: all of that, it was like the nausea it went away, 229 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,680 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, this is what it feels like. 230 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. For my second pregnancy, it was actually worse. 231 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: My second fact. Yeah, I was like, I am not 232 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: that woman where or it's just very sugar gum drops 233 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: and you know when you're pregnant. I was unicorns. No, 234 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:15,319 Speaker 1: that wasn't me. I had gestational diabetes. I had a DIMA. 235 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: I had carpal tunnel that had high blood pressure carpal tunnel. 236 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: I was like, is this a joke? Like every single 237 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: time I would see my doctor, she'd be like, uh tea, yeah, 238 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: well now you have this, and I'm like are you serious? 239 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 1: Like are you joking? But again, I just took it 240 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: with all of it, like with stride and with pride 241 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: because I was just grateful to be carrying my children 242 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: because I didn't think that I could ever get pregnant. 243 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: So I was just always in a space of gratitude, 244 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: even when I was sticking myself in the thigh with 245 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: the insulin. You know, it was like a miracle. So yes, 246 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: all children, All children are miracles. In my opinion, it's 247 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: just to be able to have a child just grow 248 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: in you and just started this tiny, tiny little thing 249 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: and just become this beautiful human being. That's a miracle 250 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: no matter how it happened. But just the process of 251 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: just them being able to come to you know, earth 252 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: side is just it's a miracle. So I'm with you. 253 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: And so the c section you had to c sections? Yes, well, 254 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 1: first of all, how is your recovery? The first one 255 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: was better and then the second one. The second one, 256 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: I guess because there's more scar tissue. I don't know 257 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: if it was older. I was like, I don't remember this, 258 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: this is like this is I was like, this is crazy. Yeah, 259 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: that that happens, all of those memories that you want 260 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: to forget and then all of a sudden, But I 261 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: will say this, if you do what you're supposed to do, 262 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: rest and not do too much. That's the hardest thing 263 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: about having a ces arean. How can you rest when 264 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: you have a baby and you're taking care of that 265 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 1: baby and your breastfeeding and you're just like, how, I gosh, 266 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: this is insane. But can you take your meds and 267 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: do what you're supposed to do. Eventually you'll get over 268 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: that hump. And I think like the first I would 269 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: say like maybe the first five, six, six days are 270 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: pretty rough, but after that you're It's amazing how the 271 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: body just starts to heal and plus moms are so amazing. 272 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: We we rock, we do. And you actually wrote a 273 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 1: book about pregnancy I did, which is Oh Baby, Pregnancy 274 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: Tales and Advice from one Hot Mama to another. Yeah, 275 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: And that was after Cree was born. That was after Cree. Yeah, 276 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 1: motherhood was the mother of invention for you to kind 277 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: of like me, because I I delivered the proposal for 278 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: what to expect when You're expecting two hours before I 279 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: went into labor with Emma. So it kind of inspired you, 280 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 1: it did. And I think what inspired me to that 281 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: book was again, I was going through so much that 282 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sure there are many women that 283 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: feel the same way, and I just want to just 284 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: make light of all of it, make it funny, and 285 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: make it fun because what I think people aren't really 286 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: honest about is pregnancy is scary, you know, especially if 287 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: you've had IVF or if you've had complications, or even 288 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: if you've had a miscarriage. Going through the whole process, 289 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,679 Speaker 1: it's scary and it's nerve reckoning. And then what I 290 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 1: was telling my friend the other day was you're also alone, 291 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 1: Like when are you ever around a woman in the 292 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: same household? Even that is pregnant with you, it's just you. 293 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: So I just wanted to just make light of it, 294 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: make women laugh, you know, talk about the bloody noses, 295 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 1: talk about the peeing on yourself when you Oh my god, 296 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 1: every I had bloody noses every day. I still p myself. Yeah, 297 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: when I first had a bloody nose, oh my gosh, 298 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: like what is happening? Like this is crazy? You know again, 299 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 1: I didn't hear women say, yeah, you know, when I 300 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 1: was pregnant, I had bloody noses. So like again, I 301 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 1: just wanted people to know that it's normal to have 302 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: bloody noses, you know what I mean, Like when you're pregnant, 303 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: it's fine, and and be stuffy and snore even and 304 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: have that like gaggy feeling all night from the drip 305 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: drip drip, the post nasal drip. Yeah, it's it's all 306 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: the constipation that was mine that too. Or I had 307 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 1: mentioned chess acne and back acne, so that's why I'm like, 308 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,760 Speaker 1: why didn't nobody tell me about this? So those are 309 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: the things that I wasn't afraid to talk about but 310 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 1: make light of and fun because it's normal. I don't 311 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 1: want women to freak out. You know we're not gonna laugh, 312 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 1: We're gonna cry, so I'd rather laugh. Yeah, exactly. If 313 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: you don't have a sense of humor as a parent 314 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: or as a pregnant mom, you are so screw so 315 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,679 Speaker 1: switching gears to parenting. So, Emma, there's five years. Yeah, boys, 316 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: Lennox is seven and Sebby just turned to our ages 317 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: are almost the same. But did Yeah, Sebby was born 318 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: in Your youngest was born in May and we're June. Oh, 319 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: that's so cool. My son it was June. So he's 320 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: nine and Cairo is May five and she's two and 321 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 1: a half. So was it hard for because they're so 322 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 1: far apart. Was it hard for freda kind of adjust 323 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: to having a new baby in the house or was 324 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: he super excited? It was very hard? Uh huh, it was. 325 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. Was it for you too. I was 326 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,439 Speaker 1: a single mom for a while, so he was like 327 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,399 Speaker 1: super attached to me. I kind of like overcompensated for everything, 328 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: but like presents and gifts and all my attention. So 329 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: I think like it was a little rough on him 330 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: because all of a sudden he had a new father 331 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 1: figure in the house and the new baby. But it 332 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: was rough, but you know, you get through it, Yeah, 333 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: you do, you know. With with Cree, it's interesting that 334 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: you say, because I knew that it was time to 335 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: have a baby. When I started to have a shrine 336 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: of my son in the house, it was is this healthy? 337 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: Like this is just wrong. This just looks wrong. And 338 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 1: so when kiro, let me tell you what he did, 339 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: which was so interesting. Cree he never was the child 340 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: that would draw on the wall, you know, or anything 341 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,639 Speaker 1: like that. So he had gone into her room, and 342 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: this was before she was born, almost up to you know, 343 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: it was she was close close, and he drew on 344 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: her furniture. He's very good at art, and he has 345 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: this signature thing that he does with like these little 346 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: swirl things, and he did that on her dresser. And 347 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 1: I said, oh my gosh, I feel so bad as 348 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: a parent. Because Cairo's room was Craze room. So we 349 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,439 Speaker 1: had moved Craze room to the bigger room. And I 350 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 1: tried to tell him, you're getting the bigger room. You're 351 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: the big brother, Like, look, you have a shower, like 352 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: you have all of this stuff. This is so cool. 353 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: He drew on her furniture. It was like he was 354 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: marking his territory. He was like, it was, yeah, that's 355 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 1: so funny. That's so you know, right, so much wisdom 356 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 1: there and a little guy. Yeah, but he's better now. 357 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 1: Like they have the best relationship, right and it changes. 358 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. He is the big brother, watches over her, 359 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,440 Speaker 1: make sure she's okay. It's so funny seeing him try 360 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,920 Speaker 1: to pick her up, you know, when she's crying. That's 361 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 1: what it looked like in a way, like that larger 362 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 1: age gap is so beneficial because you really get the help. 363 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I wish Lenox would change diapers. Oh my gosh, 364 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,680 Speaker 1: you guys, I have to tell a story about a 365 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: diaper really quick. I hope I'm not digressing too much. 366 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,160 Speaker 1: So but it's interesting that you say that. You talk 367 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: about helping because I agree with you. Cree helps with everything. 368 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: Because people always ask me about that gap, and I'm like, 369 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: it's been great. I mean, the only thing is is 370 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: they just have when their activities they're just so different 371 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: that your day is just you know, you're just like 372 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: all over the place, as opposed to having both kids 373 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: go to one one place. But Cree will not touch 374 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: a poopy diaper. Cairo, she had pooped, and her poop 375 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 1: was so heavy that her diaper fell, and my son 376 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 1: jetted out of the room so fast that if I 377 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: was in his way, he would have knocked me down. 378 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: I feel you. I'm like him. I can't stand the poop. No, 379 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:48,439 Speaker 1: Creed cannot stand it. He's out of the room like gone, 380 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: like lightning. I love it. Well, you know, I think 381 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,560 Speaker 1: we all have divisions like in our households, like you 382 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,200 Speaker 1: do puke, I do poop, you do flawed. I don't 383 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 1: know if you have those. My husband two years ago 384 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: create had the stomach flu and lord god, you know 385 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,399 Speaker 1: how that spread so fast around the house. But I 386 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: can't do throw up. Corey like literally caught it in 387 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: his hand, like the throw up in his hand and 388 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 1: it's just like oozing out of his hand. And I'm like, 389 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: for sure, we all have our limits. So your sister Tamara, 390 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: he has little kids too. Now do you wish you 391 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 1: would had twins? No? Oh no, I don't know how. 392 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,239 Speaker 1: My mother did. And she worked, you know, her and 393 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:44,239 Speaker 1: my dad worked, And I'm like, how how did you 394 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: do this with like having to crying babies at the 395 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 1: same time? How are you like putting the babies down 396 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: like for naps and you know, getting us to go 397 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: to sleep at nine and get putting us on schedules, 398 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: and I guess being a mom, you're put into survival mode, 399 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: so maybe that's what it was with I just think 400 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: it's a lot, like I don't know if I could 401 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: could handle that. But the positive is having a twin 402 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: is amazing because you have that built in bond and 403 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 1: you're going through life and life's obstacles together. Yeah, and 404 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 1: my husband Eric and my's dad is an identical twin two. 405 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 1: Oh wow. Cool. But the weird thing is I think 406 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: when they were younger they did all kinds of crazy 407 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 1: twin stuff where you like could cue the Twilight Zone music, like, 408 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, they didn't do that at the same 409 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 1: time two thousand miles apart, but they did. But he 410 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: doesn't have quite the same bond with his brother that 411 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,679 Speaker 1: he did when he was growing up. But it sounds 412 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: like you do, and that's amazing. Well, yeah, I mean 413 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: to be honest with you, now that we do have 414 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: kids and then she lives away, we were closer, you know, 415 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: when we were younger, um, but we definitely try to 416 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 1: keep that bond we actually had, especially during quarantine. We 417 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: have something called sibling love and we I know it's corny, 418 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: we call it. We call each other every two weeks 419 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 1: on face time and you know, but all the siblings 420 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,119 Speaker 1: and we just chat and just you know, check in, 421 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 1: just to see how everybody's doing. I'm gonna make my 422 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: brother do that. What about you and Corey? So you've 423 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: been married for twelve years twelve, but we've been together 424 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: for almost twenty one. Whoa, how do you that fresh? Yeah? 425 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep a fresh I know, you know, 426 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: I think continue to date each other, like you know, 427 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 1: we're actually going to go on a date tomorrow and 428 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,679 Speaker 1: we dress up, you know, like you have to stay 429 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:47,640 Speaker 1: in that dating phase where you dress up for each other, 430 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,639 Speaker 1: you know, put on some perfume, spend that quality time. 431 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 1: Especially when you have kids, and when you have two 432 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: kids or just a kid in general, your priority shifts. 433 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: You know. It's kind of like you just naturally gravitate 434 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: towards your kids and making sure that your kids are okay, 435 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 1: and then you're like, am I okay? And then but 436 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 1: you have to really focus on your marriage because if 437 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 1: you don't, it'll be neglected, and then that's not good 438 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,679 Speaker 1: if that's not what you want, you know what I mean, Well, 439 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,360 Speaker 1: it's not even good for your kids. No, you're right, 440 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 1: because they learned about relationships from their parents. So in fact, 441 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: if you model the kind of relationship you one day 442 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: want them to have. But I think it's easy to 443 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 1: put on the back burner because you can't put kids 444 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 1: on the back burner because they're gonna have meltdowns, right, 445 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: exactly exactly, But it's easy to put your relationship with 446 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,640 Speaker 1: your partner on the back burner. And I feel it's 447 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: so important, incredibly important. I mean, we had sex dates, 448 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 1: Like we had to have sex once a week. That 449 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 1: was like a rule in our house because otherwise we 450 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 1: wouldn't get around to it. Heidi, this is the first 451 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,879 Speaker 1: time where I'm admitting it. We do too, what we 452 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 1: do too? Yeah, once a week we have We always 453 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: said we should do it more often, but once a week. 454 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 1: And you know, when I was younger and I when 455 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: I would hear that, I would be like, why do 456 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: you have to do that? Like you know what I mean? No, 457 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: but you, like you said, it's like you do, especially 458 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: with kids and with work and all that, Like you 459 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: have to to make sure that it's not neglected in 460 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: any kind of way. So maybe a girl totally m 461 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: what's the best advice you ever got when you were 462 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 1: pregnant and as a new parent, that's advice that I 463 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 1: that I had gotten that and I didn't listen. I 464 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: wish I did when I was pregnant. Was rest when 465 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,919 Speaker 1: the baby sleeps, you know what I mean, like sleep 466 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 1: when the baby. Yeah, like, but it's so important that 467 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: you do that. That is the best advice that you 468 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 1: can get. Or it's cliche, but but I will tell 469 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 1: you that the one advice that I had gotten that 470 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: was very beneficial to me was prior to getting pregnant. 471 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 1: This woman had told me, Tia, make sure you do 472 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 1: everything that you want to do, like even when it 473 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: comes to having fun. So I remember I had you know, 474 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: I was such a good girl, you know with sister 475 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: and sister like I rarely got drunk and I was like, 476 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,600 Speaker 1: let me see what it feels like. Just get so 477 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: I also just like, you know, but just like have fun, 478 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:35,159 Speaker 1: do travel, do whatever it is that you want to do, 479 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 1: you know, and that you can do before you have 480 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: a child, because like you said, certain things, it's going 481 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: to be very easy for you to put on the 482 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: back burner until things get settled again. The best advice 483 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:50,480 Speaker 1: that I had gotten for being a mom, and I've 484 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: actually have a whole like business model off of this advice. 485 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 1: I was just asking this woman. I was like, how 486 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: do you do it? Like? How how are you press 487 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 1: and with being a mom and with you know, being 488 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: a showrunner and just being able to just juggle all 489 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: of these things and you still have a smile on 490 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: your face. And she said, how can the goose lay 491 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: the egg if the goose does not take care of herself? 492 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so right, So how can you be the 493 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 1: best mom if you don't give yourself time, if you 494 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 1: do not nurture yourself, if you do not give yourself 495 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: self care, if you do not take that time to 496 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: take a nap, if you do not take that time 497 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: to meditate, if you do not take that time, you know, 498 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: just to yourself, how can you be present and full 499 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 1: to do other things that you love to do? And 500 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: so that was the best advice. You also, in your 501 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: spare time, have a line of supplements. Yes, oh my god, 502 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: I know, but I do. I have a supplement line. 503 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,959 Speaker 1: And we talked about endometriosis and and my journey, and 504 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: that's what inspired me to come out with this line. 505 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 1: You know, I had gone on this personal wellness journey 506 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: for myself and I had mentioned how taking supplements was 507 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: a part of you know, me reaching my full wellness potential. 508 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 1: And I just wanted to encourage other women and people 509 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 1: to do the same, to take charge of their health. 510 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: And you don't have to wait till something bad happens 511 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: or until we get older to start, you know, really 512 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 1: focusing on our health. Why not start doing what we 513 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: need to do right now. But what inspired me the 514 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 1: most about my my supplement line was, you know, when 515 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 1: I was on this wellness journey, I didn't see women 516 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: of color being represented. I didn't see representation. I didn't 517 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: see you know, diversity when it came to speaking to 518 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: that audience. So my goal with with answer is to communicate, 519 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: you know, of course to everyone, but also to communicate 520 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 1: to the audience that didn't feel included when it came 521 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: to wellness. And our supplement line answer, it's tangible, it's affordable, 522 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 1: um and we have an incredible prenatal with you know, 523 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: my personal experience. I wanted to make sure that it 524 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 1: had properties or ingredients in there that helped with nausea. 525 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: So we have Pepperman's, we have ginger, and of course 526 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: it's no gluten reservative free. It's not vegan because we 527 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 1: have the fish oil, which you you need. But the 528 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 1: rest of the line from even the gummy line that 529 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,960 Speaker 1: we have is all vegan, the men's the women's line, 530 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,840 Speaker 1: the beauty formula. We have digestive comfort, we have healthy 531 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: Mood that helps with your mood. We have just incredible 532 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 1: things just to you know, help you feel good on 533 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: a day to day basis. But we're so proud of it. 534 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 1: And it's purposeful, you know what I mean. It's about 535 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: helping people get on the right path. So and I 536 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: feel like, especially for women of color, when they become pregnant, 537 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: often are at higher risk for things like justinational diabetes 538 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: and pre acclampsia. To get healthy before you even become pregnant. 539 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 1: And that's why I always say, take a prenatal don't 540 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: wait until you get the you know, the pea stick, 541 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: right until you see the plus line. You get yourself 542 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 1: a prenatal vitamin. I say, take one all the time, 543 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 1: like in your reproductive years. So I think that's great. 544 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: I think that's great. So now I hear that you 545 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: have a question for me. Okay, So basically my question 546 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: for you is just how do you go about this situation? Okay? 547 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: So my daughter, she's very very close to her dad, 548 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: like she's a daddy's girl. Like, no matter how I 549 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: can be, I can be around Cairo for twenty four hours, 550 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: but she's still a daddy's girl. It just seems like 551 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 1: it's just something that happens. And so she's having a 552 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 1: hard time, like eating in her high chair in the morning, 553 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: and she always wants her daddy to sitch with her. 554 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,479 Speaker 1: She goes Daddy sit, Daddy sit, Daddy sit, So she 555 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 1: wants to be on daddy's lap. And she's very capable 556 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: of sitting in her own high chair and eating herself. Okay, 557 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 1: she's done this. She'll do it for me, She'll do 558 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,960 Speaker 1: it for everybody else but her daddy. Now this is 559 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: where it gets a little muddy. Is my husband. He 560 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: gives in to her, you know, but then he like 561 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 1: gets frustrated sometimes if he has to do things, because 562 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: you know, he can always be there to have Cairo 563 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,760 Speaker 1: sit on daddy's lap. But I'm kind of in a 564 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: bind because he doesn't want to hear her cry or 565 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,959 Speaker 1: doesn't want to see her cry, and then he just 566 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 1: gives in. So I don't know you. So first of all, 567 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: I can relate because I'm not going to name any 568 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: means here, but I had a daughter. I have a daughter. 569 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,719 Speaker 1: When she wanted something, she would just call him Gaga 570 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 1: because that was her baby name for him, and so 571 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: like she'd be said and tena rows old, and when 572 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,760 Speaker 1: she wanted something, she just like sidle up to him 573 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 1: and say Gaga, and then he was putty in her hands. 574 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,399 Speaker 1: I totally feel you, And you know, in the end, 575 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,839 Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the two 576 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: of you are on the same parenting page and that 577 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: you're a united front, because clearly in your family, she 578 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 1: wants something, she goes to daddy. I mean, I always say, 579 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 1: it's kind of like traffic rules. If all the traffic 580 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,360 Speaker 1: rules were changing all the time, and you knew that 581 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: on Monday the red light men stop, and then on 582 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: Tuesday and then go or it meant whatever you wanted 583 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 1: to me and on that day, then there would be chaos, 584 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,399 Speaker 1: right because the rules were always changing. You know, there 585 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: are so few absolutes and parenting. You know, like you 586 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,280 Speaker 1: gotta love your child, you gotta keep your child healthy 587 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,359 Speaker 1: and safe. But if I were going to add one more, 588 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: be consistency. You have to be consistent and you have 589 00:34:54,200 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: to be consistent between the parents. Yes, that makes so 590 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: much sense, and I'm telling you there's definitely no consistency 591 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: when it comes to that. But also thank you so 592 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:13,359 Speaker 1: much for that, because now I'm just going to talk 593 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: to Cory and just, you know, see what is it 594 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 1: that we both agree to exactly. I think sometimes parents 595 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,680 Speaker 1: feel like there has to be a certain number of 596 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: times a day they say no, just you know, to 597 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,400 Speaker 1: maintain their authority. But it's not like you have to 598 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,800 Speaker 1: say no all the time or that you have to 599 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,360 Speaker 1: have a certain number of rules. You just have to 600 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,920 Speaker 1: have what is non negotiable yes in our home, and 601 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,399 Speaker 1: that whether it's jumping on the bed or whether it's 602 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: eating in the high chair, that's reasonable. As guys, It's 603 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:46,040 Speaker 1: always the same no matter who's in charge, got it? Oh? 604 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,840 Speaker 1: I like that. Okay, I'm gonna check in with you 605 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 1: Heidi in like two weeks until you have literally literally 606 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 1: describing my house no boundaries. I'm like, I'm learning to 607 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:00,319 Speaker 1: to I'm learning to Okay, No, it's hard. It's hard, 608 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,880 Speaker 1: especially with a taller, manipulated little creature. So Tea, I 609 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 1: want to thank you so much. Thank you for hanging 610 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 1: out today, no problem. I love supporting women. I love 611 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,400 Speaker 1: speaking about family and babies and all that stuff. So 612 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,799 Speaker 1: this was something that I was truly looking forward to. 613 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 1: So thank you so much for all that you're doing. 614 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,319 Speaker 1: Oh so I appreciate it. It takes a village, right, 615 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: we're allus together, yet we are. Thank you. Thank baby below, 616 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:42,759 Speaker 1: my baby belove. I need you, oh how I need you. 617 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here for you. What 618 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 1: to Expect is always here for you. We're all in 619 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,800 Speaker 1: this together. For more on what you heard on today's episodes, 620 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 1: visit what to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can 621 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,400 Speaker 1: also check out what Tooks Back, when You're Expecting, What 622 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 1: to Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app. 623 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: And we want to hear from you. Connect with us 624 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 1: on our community message board or on our social media. 625 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,919 Speaker 1: You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at 626 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:20,520 Speaker 1: Emma bing wt E and of course at What to Expect. 627 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,240 Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect 628 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio from More shows 629 00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: from I heart Radio check out the I heart Radio app, 630 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 631 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:47,160 Speaker 1: In my Arms, what don't You Stay? Neja, Needa, Baby, Baby,