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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio

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Speaker 1: and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. This is not Beca

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Speaker 2: Tilly's voice. You are correct. We are songs Becca today.

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Speaker 2: This is Tanya's voice. Tanya is speaking. Becca is not

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Speaker 2: feeling very well, So out of an abundance of caution,

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Speaker 2: I said, stay home, get some rest. We have Chelsea

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Speaker 2: Handler on today. I have vibrators to talk about. So

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Speaker 2: we're just gonna hold down the Fort Mark Easton and

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Speaker 2: myself and Chelsea Handler a little bit later.

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Speaker 3: What a better trio to talk vibrator?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know. I'm like so so over the weekend,

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Speaker 2: Beck and I were we were actually going with Jojo

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Speaker 2: to look at her wedding dresses that she had picked out,

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Speaker 2: like trying on and stuff like that. And I my

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Speaker 2: old vibrator that I've talked about on this show before,

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Speaker 2: it just died out of nowhere, and so I ordered

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Speaker 2: a new one, but I didn't realize that it's not

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Speaker 2: coming until September, and I was like, I can't wait.

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Speaker 3: That's interesting that those would be backlogged.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. And Beca was like, it's because we

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Speaker 4: let the secret.

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Speaker 2: Out of like which one we use, and now everybody's

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Speaker 2: ordering them. But yeah, no, it wasn't coming until September,

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Speaker 2: and I get like a little bit rowdy around my period,

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Speaker 2: and so I was like, I can't wait till September.

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Speaker 2: I need to go get this thing right. So we

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Speaker 2: go to JoJo's wedding dress shopping and then what more

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Speaker 2: perfect weight a round out the day than to go

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Speaker 2: to a sex shop right after.

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Speaker 4: So we go to.

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Speaker 2: This place and I just wanted to get my og

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Speaker 2: one that I know, and like.

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Speaker 3: Right, we're with you, but we can't really comment much

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Speaker 3: on this. It's very odd, okay.

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Speaker 4: Well I just thought it, so okay.

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Speaker 2: So I was, I go and I'm like looking, and

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Speaker 2: I see the one that's like the new version of

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Speaker 2: the one that I have, which is Steady Eddie.

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Speaker 4: I know it's good.

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Speaker 2: I like it, and it's it's not, you know, expensive,

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Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, I'm good.

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Speaker 3: It Steady Eddie.

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Speaker 4: I haven't named it Steady Eddie, but I'm going to

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Speaker 4: Steady Eddie.

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Speaker 2: And then there was this other one that was there

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Speaker 2: and we walked by it and it says like multi

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Speaker 2: award winning you know whatever, and it's like expensive and

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Speaker 2: it's supposed to do all these things, and so I

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Speaker 2: was like, I need to get that.

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Speaker 3: And as a multi award winner, you thought you deserve.

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Speaker 2: That, exactly as a multi war award winner myself. So

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Speaker 2: I get both of them and I try them both out,

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Speaker 2: and guess what, I'm on the edge of my seat.

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Speaker 2: Just be labels, don't mean jack because I'm going to

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Speaker 2: tell you my steady Eddie, just steady as Eddie can be.

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Speaker 2: And then multi award winning one is nothing, did nothing

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Speaker 2: for me, and I'm pissed and I want my money back. Wow.

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Speaker 3: So study arrived early?

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, I went and just got the new the

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Speaker 4: new version of it.

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Speaker 1: There.

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Speaker 3: You got two of them from that store, correct, So

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Speaker 3: you still have one on order? Are you going to

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Speaker 3: have a backup? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Sure, why not? I mean the more the merrier, you

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Speaker 4: know at this point. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Did you go to like a sex shop, like a

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Speaker 5: proper set, like a pleasure chest style place? Did I

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Speaker 5: have a funny name?

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Speaker 4: No, honestly, that had like no name.

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Speaker 2: It was like the sketchiest building on the outside, Like

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Speaker 2: it was so sketchy on the outside inside it was

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Speaker 2: clean and nice, but I'm not gonna lie seeing some

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Speaker 2: things in there were very disturbing to me.

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Speaker 5: Have you been to many of those places before?

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I've gone to a couple to get like bachelorette stuff,

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Speaker 2: you know, So I've gone and I've gone like penis

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Speaker 2: straws and just like things to like as one would

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Speaker 2: to get things like that, But I've never really like

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Speaker 2: explored different sections of it, like usually the bachelorette stuff

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Speaker 2: is kind of like by the cash register.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Like, I've never really like kind of like walked the halls.

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Speaker 2: If you will, you a browser not a browser, So

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Speaker 2: it's definitely a different experience.

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Speaker 4: And I was just like, what is this?

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Speaker 5: It's so different from the male experience?

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Speaker 3: Is it?

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Speaker 5: Mars and Venus? It's really yea, is it?

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Speaker 4: Really?

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Speaker 5: It's funny because I think that if a if a

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Speaker 5: woman uses like a a device or a toy or something, it's,

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Speaker 5: at least from my perspective, it's seen as like, oh,

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Speaker 5: you're you're you're empowered, and you're taking charge of your sexuality,

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Speaker 5: and it's you know, it's very cool like that. But

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Speaker 5: if a man, if a man buys like a product.

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Speaker 5: It's like, I don't say, but it's part I don't

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Speaker 5: think anyone. I don't know if any of my friends

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Speaker 5: have devices to help them, you know, usually it's.

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Speaker 4: Just anybody had that doll, I would just be like this,

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Speaker 4: it was I mean, any.

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Speaker 3: Device would be Sayonara.

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Speaker 4: For a guy, yeah, because that's for.

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Speaker 3: Guided device to help him with that by Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it would I don't know. I

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Speaker 2: don't know what it would be. This is a great

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Speaker 2: question for Chelsea Handler.

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Speaker 3: Well, let's take a break and get her in.

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Speaker 2: All right, all right, we're gonna bring in Chelsea Handler now,

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Speaker 2: and I think that you're the perfect person to comment

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Speaker 2: on what we were just talking about, because well, first

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Speaker 2: of all, your tour is called Vaccinated in Horny, so

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Speaker 2: we're gonna it's gonna lean more on the horny side

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Speaker 2: of things. But we were talking about toys vibrators because

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Speaker 2: I just went to the sex store and I bought

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Speaker 2: my regular First of all.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to the o R. Chelsea Handler.

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Speaker 6: Wow, Well that is quite the introduction. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing up vibrators before before anything. Really,

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Speaker 1: let's start there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're going to start there.

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Speaker 2: So I went and I bought my normal one that

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Speaker 2: I like know is good, and it's a little bit cheaper.

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Speaker 2: It's not really that expensive, but I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to each my old one died, and then

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Speaker 2: I bought this other one that's because it's had a

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Speaker 2: multi award winner, and so it was like, it's a

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Speaker 2: multi award winner, I have to get it. It was

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Speaker 2: like not cheap at all, and it was horrible. It

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Speaker 2: was just like not what I wanted. I just keeping

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Speaker 2: with my steady Eddy, the one that I know is good.

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Speaker 4: Which is what it's called the satisfy Er Pro.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, I didn't even know that they had all

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Speaker 1: these names. And I can't believe that there are awards

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Speaker 1: for vibrators. What a new era that we are living in.

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Speaker 1: I said, for women and for men actually, because they're

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Speaker 1: probably using them too, right, I mean, who knows what

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Speaker 1: everybody can use them.

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Speaker 2: So that's what we were just talking about, because the

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Speaker 2: men were saying that it's it's kind of different when

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Speaker 2: a woman has, you know, some sort of a device.

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Speaker 2: It's like empowering and she's just you know, doing what

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Speaker 2: she wants if a guy had one, because I was saying.

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Speaker 2: When I was in there, I saw this like blow

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Speaker 2: up doll that was it said like eighty two pounds

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Speaker 2: and five foot two and you can do whatever you

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Speaker 2: want to her. And I was like, this is very disturbing.

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Speaker 2: If I ever saw this in a guy's closet, I

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Speaker 2: would run for the hills.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there are a lot of men out

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Speaker 1: there that are like in a relationship with blow up dolls.

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Speaker 2: I mean, have you ever like like gone home with

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Speaker 2: a guy or anything like that and like seen some

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Speaker 2: sort of something that just like freaked you out and

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Speaker 2: you're like peace out.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean I definitely like left one night

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Speaker 1: stands because of like you know, brace is hurting me

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Speaker 1: once or something he did grow.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: I once saw an air May's belt while I was

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Speaker 1: fooling around or while we were kissing, I realized his

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Speaker 1: belt was air MAI's and I was like, I can't

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Speaker 1: do this and I left And I said, I said,

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Speaker 1: at one time I left a one night stand and

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Speaker 1: I said, I said, oh, I said, I have to

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Speaker 1: get my in visil line out of the car, and

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Speaker 1: then I never came back. That was my best one.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's unbelievable.

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Speaker 4: I have to get my INVISI line out of the car.

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Speaker 1: And then when he said can I come with should

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Speaker 1: I come with you? I was like no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I got it. I got this. I'm like, it's too

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Speaker 1: embarrassing already. Meanwhile, I was like, when the hell, how

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Speaker 1: quickly can I get the hell out of here? I've

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Speaker 1: made up so many stories to get away from men,

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Speaker 1: and rightly, so that.

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Speaker 4: Is so good. I've never really done so.

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Speaker 2: I've only had one one night stand in my whole

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Speaker 2: life because I just couldn't. I'm just like too emotionally,

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Speaker 2: like I get too attached.

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Speaker 4: But I'm yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: I've you know, it's actually really interesting because I just

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Speaker 2: had therapy right before we started recording.

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Speaker 4: The podcast, and let me tell you, it was a lot.

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Speaker 2: Of emotions, Like I had to start like I had

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Speaker 2: to like wipe off tears and fix my makeup before

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Speaker 2: we started this. Oh wow, yeah, because I get really

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Speaker 2: into I'm used to the pattern of men coming in

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Speaker 2: my life and then just like loving and leaving, and

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Speaker 2: now that I don't have that pattern anymore, it's like

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Speaker 2: hard for me to accept it.

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Speaker 1: You're hard for you to accept loving and leaving, or

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Speaker 1: hard for you to accept your new pattern.

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Speaker 2: Hard for me to accept the love that I'm getting

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Speaker 2: right now from my current point.

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Speaker 1: I see. Yeah, yeah, no, I copy.

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Speaker 4: That I know all about that, do you really?

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Speaker 7: Well?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't have a lot of faith in men,

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Speaker 1: so I just assume that you know it's going to

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Speaker 1: be a disappointment, and I will usually force them to

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Speaker 1: disappoint me before they are ready to disappoint me. So

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Speaker 1: I'm yes, I'm very familiar with that pattern. And it's

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Speaker 1: good that you've got therapy because I got therapy too,

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Speaker 1: and it totally changed to me. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: you still have your old habits, but you try not

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Speaker 1: to use them, like you go, oh stop it, like

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Speaker 1: you know, don't do that, don't say something right now.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to. It's not important, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: all of those old habits are still there, but I think.

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Speaker 6: Over time it just gets easier and easier to ignore them.

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Speaker 4: But so you recognize that about yourself, and.

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Speaker 2: You you are like aware, do you is that something that

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Speaker 2: you're like actively trying to change or you're just kind

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Speaker 2: of going with the flow.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I'm very judging when it comes to men.

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Speaker 1: You know, I have a history of being disappointed or

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Speaker 1: in my mind, abandoned by men. So I just my

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Speaker 1: brother died when I was a little girl, you know.

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Speaker 6: My father kind of abandoned me after my brother's death.

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Speaker 1: I have all those kinds of issues that kind of

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Speaker 1: just live within within, you know, within you forever. So

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you like, you know, why do

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Speaker 1: I have such an attitude and a chip on my

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Speaker 1: shoulder about guys. Until I went to therapy, I had.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know why I didn't, and now I do.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh that this is not your brother, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it does work. It works if you work it.

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Speaker 1: It's just like a you have to take you out

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Speaker 1: the door with you. Every day. I have to wake

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Speaker 1: up two hours early just not to be you know,

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Speaker 1: like I have to prepare to go out into the

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Speaker 1: world and just and I have to say to myself

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Speaker 1: like like a mantra, don't be a bitch, don't you

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Speaker 1: are a bitch, don't be one, try not to be all.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny that you say that, because it's like

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Speaker 2: I'm now coming to this realization in my life where

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Speaker 2: like I was single for seven years and I was

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Speaker 2: just dating, dating, dating out date people that lived in

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Speaker 2: different states because I just didn't want to get attached.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm like starting to realize why I did

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Speaker 2: all that for so long, Because it was easier to

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Speaker 2: just do that than to like accept love into my

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Speaker 2: life absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we can accept admiration or ad duration,

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Speaker 1: but we have a problem with love. So we like

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Speaker 1: the attention. You know, like if you're you know, you

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Speaker 1: seem already similar to me, so I can already diagnose you.

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Speaker 1: I'm a professional. I'm a medical professional, so I can

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Speaker 1: pretty much diagnose and prescribe any medication I see fit.

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Speaker 2: It's so good because like, but right now I do

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Speaker 2: I have this like amazing boyfriend who's showing up for

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Speaker 2: me in so many different ways, and like I get

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Speaker 2: I'm so terrified of it, Like I'm so scared, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, why is it so hard for me to

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Speaker 2: just sit back and relax, and like I can't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well you gotta have. You got to give yourself

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Speaker 1: your own kind of pep talk every day, Like you

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Speaker 1: do you meditate or anything like that?

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Speaker 4: I used to, but I don't anymore.

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Speaker 1: Well you should start again or you and at the

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Speaker 1: very least, you should just say, like, wake up.

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Speaker 6: Every morning before you do anything and just say, take

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Speaker 6: this love.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, you're so right. I need to. It's almost like.

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Speaker 1: Write it down every time you remember. You can remind

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Speaker 1: yourself that, you know, when you have an instinct to

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Speaker 1: pull away.

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Speaker 6: It's just a simple sentence, take this love.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I need that to say that to myself too. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I'm such a good pep talker.

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Speaker 4: Are you? I know, are you dating right now? Are you?

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Speaker 4: What's your situation you?

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Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not really dating. I'm just single kind

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Speaker 1: of you know, going on to be trying to Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I'm on tour, so it's going to be hard

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Speaker 1: to date. But I'm trying to be more open minded

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Speaker 1: about who I date next, you know, instead of it

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Speaker 1: being like having to look a certain way or to

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Speaker 1: act a certain way, or you know, like I don't

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Speaker 1: I want to be with somebody that that like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's not like that where there is no fakeness or

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Speaker 1: putting on errors or trying to impress, where you just

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Speaker 1: exist like it's magnetic and that's it.

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Speaker 4: Great goal, if you ask me.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, goals are good, right, I don't have that. I

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Speaker 6: guess that's my goal.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I never make goals other than to be

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Speaker 1: in the next Olympics. Oh really yeah as a hurler,

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Speaker 1: a professional, I mean, no hurler, so that's vomiting a curler.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, as hurler, I've never heard of hurling before.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure they'll make it a sport. I mean,

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Speaker 1: at some point they're going to have to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 2: Actually, I didn't want to talk to you about Simone

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Speaker 2: Biles because I feel like you've been really vocal about

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Speaker 2: like supporting her. What's your take on her kind of

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Speaker 2: bowing out right now?

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Speaker 1: I think that that's, you know, really brave and it's

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Speaker 1: an act of courage. And I think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: the time, we're seeing a lot of women having the

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Speaker 1: empowerment to stand up for themselves in a way that

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Speaker 1: a lot of female athletes and females in general haven't haven't,

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Speaker 1: you know, they haven't had or felt like they had

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Speaker 1: the agency in the ways that women of color do

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Speaker 1: now and athletes do now. And I think it's a

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Speaker 1: real meaningful sign for society that uh and a modernization

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Speaker 1: of the fact that we all have to accept mental

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Speaker 1: health as an actual contributing factor to an athlete's performance,

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Speaker 1: and it needs to be taken seriously. And all of

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Speaker 1: these antiquated athletic organizations need a fucking update. They need

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Speaker 1: to update their rules and regulations, and they need to

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Speaker 1: respect the people who make the sport successful.

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Speaker 2: You know, I I've met you before in you were

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Speaker 2: you were like one of the first guests on the

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Speaker 2: morning show on Earthriyan seacrests on like my third day

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Speaker 2: and Ryan let me ask you a question and you

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Speaker 2: your advice that you gave me. It's like, I'm not

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Speaker 2: even kidding you. I tell you, I repeated to every

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Speaker 2: single person. I'm like, the best piece of advice I

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Speaker 2: ever got in my career was from Chelsea Handler when

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Speaker 2: she said there's room for everyone. Don't be competitive. And

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Speaker 2: so I feel like you've always been like this like

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Speaker 2: mentor to me, even though we've never had like a relationship,

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Speaker 2: Like I've always felt like you've been a mentor to

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Speaker 2: me in the in this career because I just feel

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Speaker 2: like you are one of those women who you're in

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Speaker 2: this this position, and I'm sure you've had to deal

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Speaker 2: with stuff. I mean, obviously you're not an Olympic athlete.

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Speaker 2: One day you will be. But you've been dealing with

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Speaker 2: these same sort of pressures and in this same kind

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Speaker 2: of role and having to kind of you know, as

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Speaker 2: a woman, you can't. I feel like also you weren't

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Speaker 2: able to speak your mind and you had to probably

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Speaker 2: do things that you didn't want to, And like, where

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Speaker 2: did you get that confidence, in that inner strength to

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Speaker 2: really kind of step out and say like, no, I

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Speaker 2: am going to march to the beat of my own drum.

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Speaker 1: I didn't, you know, I don't do that because I'm I.

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Speaker 1: I just it's just natural to me. You know, It's

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Speaker 1: like it's just it's my state of being is like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be a follower. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to follow, even though every human being is a follower,

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Speaker 1: you know. I mean, we're all acting, We're all part

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Speaker 1: of society, so we have to act in a certain way.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, it's nice to have some original It's

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Speaker 1: nice to a stand up for stuff, you know, to

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Speaker 1: put your neck out and say like, hey, this is wrong,

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Speaker 1: and to stick up for people and stand up for

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Speaker 1: social justice and things when you see something you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't don't. I can't ever be the girl that

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Speaker 1: doesn't say anything. You know I can't. I had dinner

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Speaker 1: once with Woody Allen at this dinner and soon yee,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I mean, I not dinner with them.

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Speaker 1: I was at a dinner party that they were also at,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept thinking the whole time, like I

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Speaker 1: cannot be the person that does not humiliate or embarrass

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Speaker 1: him for sitting here and acting like he's on a

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Speaker 1: date with his wife when he's sitting next to his daughter.

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Speaker 1: Like I cannot be that woman. Yeah, And so you know,

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Speaker 1: I had to say something at the end of the

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Speaker 1: dinner and I just asked him, like, you know, how

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Speaker 1: they met.

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Speaker 4: It's just like I feel like.

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Speaker 3: It.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how to like, were you ever was

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Speaker 2: it ever hard for you to be that way? Or

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Speaker 2: or do you ever go back and play?

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Speaker 6: I mean, you know, sometimes it doesn't win you.

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Speaker 1: A lot of you know, it can like people can

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Speaker 1: get upset with that kind of behavior, especial specially you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're direct and honest, A lot of people don't

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Speaker 1: like that and it doesn't win over. You know, the

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Speaker 1: mass is necessarily it's it's you know, it's either something

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Speaker 1: that's for you or not. So I can't really speak

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Speaker 1: to how it, you know, how people perceive it, because

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Speaker 1: that can't be my impetus for anything, right, Like, I

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Speaker 1: am who I am, and I'm going to be who

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Speaker 1: I am, and I don't give it about a lot

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Speaker 1: of things that's already well documented. You know. I do

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Speaker 1: give about a lot of things too, but what people

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Speaker 1: necessarily think of me or having confidence, you know, for me,

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Speaker 1: taking risks has always always yielded big rewards. And I

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Speaker 1: like that. I like to I'm a risk taker. I

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Speaker 1: like adventure. I like to be impulsive. I like to

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Speaker 1: not be safe. You know, that's my personality. And I've

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Speaker 1: learned to lean into those facets of my personality instead

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Speaker 1: of to be embarrassed by them or to overdo them.

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Speaker 1: You know, I learned a lot in therapy about how

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Speaker 1: to make my personality work with me instead of against me.

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Speaker 1: You know, how to be on your own team, not

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Speaker 1: to be sitting there in your head thinking negative things

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Speaker 1: about yourself, or to be beating yourself up when you

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Speaker 1: do something that you're not proud of or that you

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Speaker 1: know you didn't like. You know, having graciousness for yourself

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Speaker 1: is meaningful for your relationships with everybody, because when you're

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Speaker 1: not hard on yourself. It's a lot easier for you

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Speaker 1: to love everyone else.

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Speaker 2: So true, so true, and I so for your for

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Speaker 2: the tour for the Vaccinated and Hornet.

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Speaker 1: Did we meet backstage and at the Mirage?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, you came No, you didn't come in.

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Speaker 2: You were a phoner. You called into the morning show

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Speaker 2: and it was like my third day and so is

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Speaker 2: everything was over the phone.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I cause someone that is so funny. Someone

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Speaker 1: just said this to me who looks similar to you,

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Speaker 1: similarly to you. Blondes, hair, blue eyes, kind of like

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Speaker 1: this similar look. She was backstage at at the Mirage

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Speaker 1: and she said the same quote that you just said

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Speaker 1: to me, that there's room for everyone, don't be competitive.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. So that means I was doling out

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Speaker 1: that advice.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm like, I've literally been doling it out for

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Speaker 2: the last eight years, and I give you credit every

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Speaker 2: time I say it. I'm like, I'll never forget Chelsea

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Speaker 2: Handler told me this, Chelsea Hamler to I would like

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Speaker 2: say it all the time. It's like that one of

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Speaker 2: those things where and people ask you that all the time.

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Speaker 2: They're like, what's the best career advice you've ever received,

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Speaker 2: And I'm like Chelsea Handler said this. Chelsea Handler said,

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Speaker 2: like people that's like no, Like, if you ask me that,

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Speaker 2: that's going to be my answer.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I love that so much. You know what.

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Speaker 6: It's so true though, It's so true because look at.

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Speaker 1: Us now, like, look at how many people of color

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Speaker 1: are represented on television, and are there any less opportunities

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Speaker 1: for all of us? There's more opportunities. There was some

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Speaker 1: more television, there's more streaming platforms, there's more content. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's YouTube, there's Instagram, there's whatever. You know, there's only fans,

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Speaker 1: there's something for everyone. We need to talk about. What

435
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 1: we really need to talk about is launching my only

436
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Speaker 1: fansit because how am I going to do that?

437
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 4: Do you want to do it?

438
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: No? No, but I would love to do it just

439
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 1: to be funny, but not be naked because that's since

440
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: I'm naked all the time anyway, that's the only place

441
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 1: I would choose.

442
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 4: Not to do it. Yeah, I know, you know what's funny.

443
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: They were like trying to do like they wanted to

444
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 2: bring people on board and make it seem like they

445
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,719
Speaker 2: want to go away from the naked part of it

446
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: and make it more kind of I guess, like a

447
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 2: TikTok or people just post videos of things and they're like.

448
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 4: You could do a cooking show.

449
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not getting on OnlyFans and doing a

450
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 2: cookie show. But it's so true because I feel like,

451
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 2: especially in that time, I remember I was brand new

452
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 2: into like this industry and I wasn't met with open arms,

453
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 2: and I feel like I had you know, I used

454
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 2: to do this thing where I would like zip myself

455
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 2: up in this cocoon of just like I was like,

456
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 2: my energy is just going to be zipped in this cocoon.

457
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 2: I'm not going to let any of the negativity like

458
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 2: enter my space. And it's so funny because over time

459
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 2: that the dynamic and the I feel like the culture

460
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,399
Speaker 2: is shifting in that sense where like women.

461
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 4: Are wanting to help each other more and they're not

462
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 4: being so.

463
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: Single. Yeah, it's not a zero some game anymore. You know.

464
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: When I was on Chelsea Lately, you know, we had

465
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: so many comedians on all the time, and all I knew.

466
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 6: Was like I always just wanted to share the spotlight.

467
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: It wasn't about me. I mean, it was, of course

468
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: because it was my show, but really what I wanted

469
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,679
Speaker 1: was to hang hang around with my friends and have

470
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: a good time and be able to amplify all these

471
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 1: people you know who weren't you know on TV yet,

472
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 1: you know, people like Fortune Themester, people like Kevin Hart,

473
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 1: Tiffany Hattish and Joe Cooy and all those people I

474
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 1: Sarah Kolona, who's still you know, one of my closest friends,

475
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: Jen Kirkman, all these really talented comedians. You know. I

476
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: loved sharing that and with people like I'm a I'm

477
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: a party girl. I want to have a party. So

478
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: it's in my nature to be generous like that, right,

479
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 1: But when you do share the spotlight and then you

480
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: can enjoy and see what that spotlight helps somebody accomplish,

481
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: you know, it's a really really gratifying feeling. So by

482
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: sharing your spotlight, however big or small it is, it

483
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: yields such reward and personal kind of you know, so

484
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: much pride and self esteem. You know, you were able

485
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: to not make it all about yourself, and in that act,

486
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 1: you were able to help someone do something else. And

487
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 1: if we could all apply that a little bit more,

488
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: especially in this industry right because it's so competitive and

489
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: it's hard not to get competitive, especially with social media,

490
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: you know, and what it does to our psyches and

491
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: our self esteem and all of that. So you got

492
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: to stick to the basics of being like a decent

493
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: human being and being a powerhouse because it is powerful

494
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: to share your life.

495
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's it's so true because I think

496
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 2: also too. You know, if let's say you're going for

497
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: a certain gig or something like I remember Beck's obviously

498
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: not here, but she got this this gig that is

499
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 2: something that I would have wanted to do, Like it

500
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: was like something that I would have dreamed of doing.

501
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 2: She got it, and I like gave her cupcakes the

502
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 2: morning or the night before she was going to do it,

503
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: and I just said good luck, like I'm excited to

504
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 2: watch you to do and was like just like so

505
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: cheering her on. She's like, I'll never forget how supportive

506
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: you were, even like I knew that that was something

507
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: that you would want to do, and you were still

508
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 2: just like first and foremost like my friend and supportive.

509
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 2: And I was like, of course, and like I think too,

510
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,239
Speaker 2: who you know, that wasn't necessarily meant for me, and

511
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 2: like something that was meant for me opened up shortly after,

512
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, It's like we're not meant

513
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,360
Speaker 2: to go down every single door that we think we are,

514
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 2: and there's like something that's meant for all of us.

515
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 2: And I think it's like it's almost human nature to

516
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: be like, oh, well, why did I get that opportunity

517
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 2: or what did they not see in me?

518
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 4: But it's like that that was her, that was her thing,

519
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 4: and that's you know what I mean. I don't know.

520
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 2: I think that your words like really had that impact

521
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: because the culture was just so different at the time,

522
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 2: you know, like I was getting a lot of you know,

523
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 2: she got this job, she doesn't even do this, she

524
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 2: doesn't know how to do this, she's so green, da

525
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 2: da dah.

526
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 4: It was just like course made me feel insecure.

527
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, of course I've been through that. I went

528
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: through that with one of my girlfriends, you know who

529
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: when we were coming up together. When she got opportunities

530
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 1: and I did it, I was like, wait what you know?

531
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: And I had those feelings of jealousy, and you know,

532
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 1: those are natural feelings to have that you can't beat

533
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: yourself up for having them. You just don't want to

534
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: ever act on them, right, You want to act like

535
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 1: you did with your friend, with kindness and love, and

536
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 1: they like encouraging and understand that you know what you

537
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 1: said is exactly right. We don't. We don't know what

538
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 1: we don't know. There's a lot at play in this

539
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: working world that we just don't see, we can't hear,

540
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: and we can't understand. Whether you believe in the universe

541
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: or God or religion or whatever you're into, you know,

542
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: there's a lot happening. You know. When people say everything

543
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: happens for a reason, I roll my eyes like a

544
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: please like I doubt. I doubt, but whocking knows what

545
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: the hell is up? Why do you run into a

546
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 1: friend from high school at an airport in Detroit in

547
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 1: the women's bathroom at the same exact moment, like, you know,

548
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 1: when the whole world is moving around with three hundred

549
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: million people in this country, how do things like that happen?

550
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: So I try not to act like I know something

551
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: that I don't because I don't know. You know, but

552
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: everything when you do miss an opportunity, I always that

553
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: is always good advice to you know, to have and

554
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: to give people, I think is to know that like

555
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,239
Speaker 1: it's just not everything is meant to be and the

556
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 1: more you your losses, the quicker you get to the winds.

557
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: Like the more you struggle with your losses, the slower

558
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: the winds will happen.

559
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so.

560
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 2: I mean, like literally, do you understand how everything you are?

561
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: Oh?

562
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 4: Come on, don't do you?

563
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 5: Like?

564
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: I feel like I just want to ask you, like

565
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 2: all the questions that I just I haven't, like, like,

566
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 2: have you ever dated somebody where you make more money

567
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 2: than they do?

568
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: Yes?

569
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 2: There is there a dynamic shift, like do you feel

570
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 2: like that is like hard?

571
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 1: Let's see, I have very male dominant, like I have

572
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: mail energy, so so I like for me, Yeah, when

573
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 1: when you have the like I like to be like

574
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to ever rely on anybody.

575
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't.

576
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 1: I like to rely on myself. I'm my best bet, right,

577
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: so I just like to keep everything clean, like I

578
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: don't want a man. You know what we talked about earlier,

579
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: I think applies to this. So yes, I I've dated

580
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: and I and I handled it wrong every single time,

581
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 1: and I have I think I've dated guys who made

582
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: more money than me, but I don't think. I don't

583
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: think I know if they did, but I definitely didn't

584
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 1: handle it with a plumb So I would say, uh,

585
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 1: for those kinds of situation, you know, money shouldn't really

586
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 1: really be that much of a factor in a relationship,

587
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: even though it tends to be.

588
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 4: Yeah.

589
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting because I've had some you know, friends

590
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: at recently kind of going through that dynamic ship where

591
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,199
Speaker 2: like they're married and the husband was like the breadwinner

592
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 2: and then now it's like flipped and the relationship is

593
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 2: completely different.

594
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 4: And they're married, and she's just like, I don't know

595
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 4: what to do. I feel like I'm stuck.

596
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 2: But this isn't the relationship that we had five years ago,

597
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't I don't know what to

598
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 2: tell you.

599
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: Well, it's also a real you know, when men don't

600
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: provide and like are able to support us financially or

601
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 1: women financially when they especially when they have you know,

602
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: that's a really difficult thing for a man to go through. Yeah,

603
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: and it's you know, and it's a difficult thing for

604
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: a woman to go through for different reasons. But I

605
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 1: would like to think money would it matter, But let's

606
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: be honest, it does matter. You know. You do think

607
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: about those things, especially when you're making a lot of it.

608
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 1: So I don't really have a good I don't have

609
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: any good advice for that, other than to try not

610
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: to be a trying to be in general's my advice.

611
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 4: That's so good.

612
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: And then I also kind of wanted to get your

613
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: take on weddings, like, did you were you ever that

614
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 2: girl that was like envisioning her wedding one day?

615
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: No, not at all my prom. I envisioned my prom

616
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: one day, but like I always envisioned a wedding like

617
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: to be something really small and romantic, just like if

618
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: I were ever to feel that, you know, passionately about

619
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: doing it, I have. You know, there have been moments

620
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: where I've contemplated getting married. Usually they involved drugs like ecstasy.

621
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: But one boyfriend proposed to me while we were on ecstasy,

622
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: and I was just like, even on ecstasy, I just

623
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, he's such an idiot.

624
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 6: I had to say yes because it was the moment.

625
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 6: But the next morning I was.

626
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: Like, I got to get out of here before he

627
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: thinks we're getting married, you know, like, no way could

628
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: I marry this guy ever. And then another boyfriend I

629
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: lived with the guy I dated when I was on

630
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: my show Chelsea Lately, my old old show on the

631
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: E Network was my Boss Ted Harbert, and he was like,

632
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: you know, that was like my first big love. But

633
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 1: even then, I never wanted to get married. I just

634
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: felt I feel and I you know, everyone's allowed to

635
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: do what everyone wants to do, but I feel like

636
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: marriage is a bit outdated. The constitution is antiquated. We

637
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: don't need to get married, you know, to be in

638
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: love with somebody and then you bring children into it.

639
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: I think the laws are antiquated. You know, people should

640
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: just be able to have kids and name them whatever

641
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: they want first and last name. So all of it,

642
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: to me is embarrassing because they've built an industry out

643
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: of embarrassing people, you know, And I think at a

644
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: certain I don't want to be an agist. But for me,

645
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 1: like I'm forty six, if I decide to get married,

646
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: it's going to be a very very small affair. Yeah,

647
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to have a bunch of brides.

648
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: One of my friends once like, you can't have bridsmaids

649
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: after your forty I'm like, hello, you should have a

650
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: wedding after your forty She's like, well, that's ridiculous. Some

651
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,479
Speaker 1: people want to get married.

652
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 4: I know.

653
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 6: I do want to go on the record and say this.

654
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: Every time I declared that I would never do something,

655
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: I've done it.

656
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 6: So if I do get married, you should play this

657
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 6: back to me.

658
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say, or I can I'm what's

659
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 2: the word, I'm officiated.

660
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 6: I'm ordine or are you an officiat?

661
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

662
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I can officiate if you'd like.

663
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: Oh, excellent, perfect, great, I guess stop perfect, Why don't

664
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: we just take care of that now, let me get

665
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: somebody on the line. On the line.

666
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: No, But it's it's so it's so funny because I

667
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: was that girl like I always pictured like my wedding

668
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 2: day and like all you know, the doves and the

669
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 2: butterflies and all that stuff, and like I'm thirty four now,

670
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,479
Speaker 2: and even just like the thought of the money that

671
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: goes into a wedding, I'm like, I'd rather like buy

672
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: a house or like I'm just starting to think that

673
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 2: way now.

674
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's smart. I think that there's I

675
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: think I think that's a cool way to think of

676
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: it because it's not you know, it's it's basically almost

677
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: you're have to it's more intimate. It's more it's quieter, right, Yeah,

678
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: there's a lot less pressure when there's a lot less

679
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: involved and it's more authentic. And like for me, if

680
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: I were ever going to do that, it would be

681
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: it would it would be a very small thing, like

682
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: you know, that's.

683
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 4: What my name.

684
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: When my girlfriends did that during the pandemic, she just

685
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: had very intimate her family and they're going to do

686
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 2: like a one year about renewal, have like a big party.

687
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's good. I mean, getting married during a

688
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: pandemic is one way not to invite a lot of people.

689
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, And then I do want to talk

690
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: about because you're on touring now, vaccinated in horny and

691
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: so when you go on tour, you're kind of like

692
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 2: your own boss.

693
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: Right yeah, pretty much.

694
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 2: You get to decide what you where you go, what

695
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: you what jokes that, you get to decide everything, right Yeah.

696
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, I get to decide that. I mean, I write

697
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 6: my own material.

698
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: So this tour is really fun because you know, I

699
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: love being a reason for people to come back together.

700
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: I start I'm kicking it off at the Santa Barbara Bowl,

701
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: which is August twenty first, which is an awesome and

702
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: an awesome venue, and I can't even believe I'm playing it.

703
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 1: So I'm so excited. And then I'm going around the

704
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 1: country for the next year. I mean, I've announced the

705
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: first half of the tour and yeah, I mean, I'm

706
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: my own boss on the road, and I'm into stand

707
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: up in a way that I have a been into

708
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: it in a long time, because I took a long

709
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 1: break because I was just burnt out and not you know,

710
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: I didn't think I had anything to say, and now

711
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: I do. I have lots to say, and especially after COVID,

712
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: it's like, let's get the party started, shall we.

713
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 2: When you were in that break, is that did you

714
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 2: write a lot of your books in that time?

715
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: Uh?

716
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 3: In? What?

717
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: Uh? No?

718
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 6: I think I wrote two of my books during my

719
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 6: uh my.

720
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: When I stopped doing stand up, and then my last book,

721
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: uh what was it called Life Will Be the Death

722
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: of Me? Well, I you know, I went on tour

723
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: for that as kind of a speaking tour where different

724
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: celebrities would interview me in different cities like Natasha Leone

725
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: did New York, uh Leah Remini did La like you know,

726
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: kind of stuff like that. And halfway through that tour.

727
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: I just got to I was like, wait, I need

728
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: to do tell these stories. These this is stand up again.

729
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: These are even though this book is you know, the

730
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: deepest thing I've ever shared with anyone in a real

731
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: kind of like insight to my therapy experience and my

732
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: you know, my experience losing my brother at a young age,

733
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 1: I was able to turn all of that into you know,

734
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: a one hour special, and I turned it, you know,

735
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: I started doing it a stand up and then it

736
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: became a one hour special which is on HBO Max

737
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: now called Evolution. But it made me come back to

738
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: stand up in a way that I it was in

739
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: the most kind of authentic way, telling a really really

740
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: hard story but trying to make it hilarious. And so

741
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: then after I did that, I'm like, oh, okay, I'm

742
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: back on stand up. You know this is so this

743
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 1: is a new tour and I just love it again

744
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy to love something again.

745
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 4: Yeah that's important.

746
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 2: And I think also when it's something that you love

747
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 2: and it's authentic to you, I think it shines through

748
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 2: and like people can really see that. And yeah, I

749
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 2: know that you talked to you said that you don't

750
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: really make goals, but you know you've done so much

751
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: in your career, like you know, you've not been your

752
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 2: own boss at times of your career.

753
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 4: And when you when you don't make goals.

754
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: But to me, like from an outsider, you just kind

755
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: of keep going like this, like you just keep upping

756
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: your game. How do you keep doing that if you

757
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: don't set Because I'm like a big goal person. I

758
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 2: make a vision board every single year. I like write

759
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: it down on paper and.

760
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 6: Really, and how does that work out? Does that work

761
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 6: out for you?

762
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: The vision board? Does everything come true?

763
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 2: You know, it doesn't necessarily come true in the year

764
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 2: that I do it, But like I save all of

765
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 2: them from years past, and I'll go back, like our

766
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: podcast one of People's Choice or actually think one year,

767
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 2: I think we beat you.

768
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: No, I can't read this.

769
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: We were up against like the craziest names like Oprah

770
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 2: was in the category, and it was our first year,

771
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 2: and our scrubbers, like our listeners are so like loyal

772
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 2: and dedicated that they just voted like literally just every

773
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 2: single day as many times as you possibly could, and

774
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 2: we won it. And we were like the biggest no

775
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: names on the bill. And so I had put like

776
00:35:56,239 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 2: an award on one of my vision boards. And so

777
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 2: two years later we end up winning the People's Choice Award.

778
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: Did you just write an award?

779
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: I didn't write the word, but I cut out like

780
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,479
Speaker 2: a like a trophy and put it on there.

781
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: Oh God, So that involves like cutting and gluing her exactly.

782
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: This is why I don't have a vision board because

783
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: I've never ever been into crafting. But listen, that is

784
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: awesome because I can't tell you how many people tell

785
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 1: me that they have vision boards and then and then

786
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,439
Speaker 1: those things come true.

787
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 2: It's like, yes, but you don't do it and you

788
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 2: don't make goals, but you keep like upping your game.

789
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 2: So how what keeps you motivated? What keeps you going?

790
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: And how do you keep stepping up and outside of

791
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 2: your comfort zone?

792
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: Well, stepping outside of my comfort zone is first of all,

793
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: thank you. You're so sweet to give me all these compliments,

794
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: like I just love it, thank you. And it's easy

795
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: for me to step outside my comfort zone because it

796
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: is my natural disposition. I like to be uncomfortable. I

797
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 1: like to say things that are on comfortable. I like

798
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 1: to I like to also, you know, like I like

799
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: to provoke you know, I'm interested in human beings and

800
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: what they have to say. Like on my podcast, I

801
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: have regular people calling in for life advice, and who

802
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: the am I to give anybody life advice? But I'm

803
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 1: very passionate, like you know, about actually helping people be

804
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: better than they are or be braver.

805
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 6: Right, that's everyone's biggest thing. Everyone's fearful.

806
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: Everyone has a lack of bravery. So I like to

807
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: set an example by being brave. That's the number one thing.

808
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: I like to do that because it's easy for me

809
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: to do. And I also like to make sure that

810
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: I don't get too comfortable, because then that's dangerous. Then

811
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: I have too much money and too much free time,

812
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 1: and I can do whatever I want whenever I want.

813
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: I love to say that I can do whatever I

814
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 1: want whenever I want. Be careful with that saying, you know,

815
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: be careful with whatever you do and whenever you do it.

816
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: So you know, a few years ago my life changed

817
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: in the way that I guess you could say therapy,

818
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 1: you could say a combination of of black lives. Matter

819
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: of coming to my own realization of how entitled and

820
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: how lucky my life has been, just because you know,

821
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 1: a lot because I'm white. You know how how much

822
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 1: easier things have been for me. And through that realization,

823
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: you realize that you need to make more of a contribution.

824
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: You know, this isn't just a take, take, take, How

825
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 1: do I get more? How do I become more successful?

826
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: It's about what do I What do I do with

827
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: the opportunities that I have and the privilege you know

828
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 1: that i've that I've that I've come into or that

829
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 1: I was born into, or that I've come into however

830
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: you want to phrase it. And so that has a

831
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 1: big influence over what I do and how I do it.

832
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: And I also feel like I have a responsibility to

833
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: make people laugh, you know, the people that depends on me,

834
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: like and that love me and that have like been

835
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 1: my fans forever, Like I want to deliver for them.

836
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: I want them to be stronger, and I want them

837
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: to feel better and more confident, and I want them

838
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 1: to be laughing.

839
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 2: And so that's just that's where it stems from. It's

840
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 2: that it's that inner passion.

841
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 1: It's an inner passion, and then you find out, like, Okay,

842
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: what's my purpose in life? Right? What am I am? I?

843
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do? With my life. What

844
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: is your purpose? And mine is to tell the truth.

845
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 1: I tell the truth about everything that happens to me,

846
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: and I share it with everybody so that people know

847
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: that they're not alone. So if I can make that funny, great,

848
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: If I can make that meaningful, great, But I just

849
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: have to make people remember that, you know, they're not

850
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 1: the only ones.

851
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 4: So true.

852
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 2: I think that's like the biggest thing, especially right now,

853
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 2: the importance of feeling like community and not feeling alone,

854
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 2: because I think that's like the biggest thing I think

855
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 2: as women, you know, we've been I get messages from

856
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 2: women that are asking me about public floor physical therapy

857
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: and like their discharge and stuff because they're too embarrassed

858
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 2: to talk to their own friends about it. And I'm like,

859
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 2: that's so crazy to me that, like, there are women

860
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,959
Speaker 2: out there that are so embarrassed about things that happen

861
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 2: to their body that they don't even want to share

862
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 2: it with their friends. So it's like creating that open

863
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 2: space to make people feel like they're not alone.

864
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of shame. You know, we have

865
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: a lot of shame instilled in us by our parents,

866
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: and it's also intergenerational. It comes from years and years

867
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 1: of women being treated in a certain way. So you know,

868
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: for me, growing up in my family of six kids,

869
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: I was always loud and outspoken and boisterous and I

870
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: was rewarded for that. So I thought, oh, this is

871
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: a good thing, and I ran with it. And especially

872
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: when I realized not everybody was like that, I ran

873
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: faster with it because I was like, I've got something.

874
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: I've got you know, something that's going on here, and

875
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 1: I'm not scared. So yeah, Like, you want to empower

876
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: women to be less afraid. You want to empower women

877
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,479
Speaker 1: to understand that their their value and their uniqueness, right,

878
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: because that's the real ticket, is that you have some

879
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: things that no other person will ever have, and each

880
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: of us has that. You know, everybody listening to this

881
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,919
Speaker 1: podcast has qualities and attributes that other people will never have.

882
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: And so it's about harnessing that. And it's not just

883
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: for women, it's for men, for women, it's for whoever's

884
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: been listening.

885
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 4: It's so true, it's so true.

886
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 2: Well, I just also want you to know too that, like,

887
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: again I'm going to say it, but I feel like

888
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 2: you are that person for me, and like I you know,

889
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 2: I'm sure there are millions of other people that feel

890
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: that same way about you. But it's like that little

891
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 2: nugget that I got from you has carried me a

892
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 2: very long way, and I think about it very definitely,

893
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 2: if not daily weekly.

894
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: So oh well, I just you know what, that is

895
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 1: so meaningful to me. Thank you so much for telling

896
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: me that story, because it really does make me feel

897
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 1: good about you know, about about you and about me

898
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 1: and about life. It just makes me feel good.

899
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 4: Well good, I'm glad.

900
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 2: I just I want to again thank you for the

901
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 2: time coming on the podcast. It means a lot, just

902
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 2: because I just I adore you and I just think

903
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 2: you're so awesome. And I think also too by having

904
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 2: these conversations, you know, like I've a lot of people

905
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 2: ask me, you know, you're thirty four, and you know,

906
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,279
Speaker 2: all my friends are they're in their twenties, all my

907
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: friends are getting married and having babies, and like, how

908
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 2: did you get through that season of life? And I'm like,

909
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 2: you know, sharing about how I went through that season

910
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 2: of life, and you know, you're sharing your experiences and

911
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: how you got through different seasons, and I just think

912
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 2: it makes all of us. It doesn't makes all of

913
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 2: us feel less alone. So I just want to thank

914
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: you for being brave.

915
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 4: Because it's a lot.

916
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 2: It's you make it seem easy and it's not. So

917
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it, and everybody that's listening. We You

918
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 2: can go to Chelseahandler dot com to your tickets for

919
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 2: the Vaccinated and Horny Tour. You can also check out

920
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 2: her podcast, is or anything else that you want to

921
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 2: plug or tell anybody about before you go.

922
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 6: No, that's all good. Everything sounds good.

923
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: Just go to go to the tour, take notes, have

924
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,720
Speaker 2: some laughs, have a drink.

925
00:42:58,800 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 4: And have fun.

926
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: There we go, There we go.

927
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 4: Thank you so much Chelsea for the time. I appreciate it.

928
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: I just love you and just parting words. Do not

929
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,720
Speaker 2: get the fantasy for her. If you're in the market

930
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 2: for a vibrator.

931
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: Thank you very much.

932
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 6: I will not purchase that. Thank you an endorsement.

933
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 4: No, bye, it.

934
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: Was so nice to meet you. Will figure out a

935
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: time for you to come to our show.

936
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you so much.

937
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 7: All right, thanks honey, bye bye.

938
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 4: How amazing is Chelsea Handler?

939
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 3: Very amazing? That was a very good endview, Tanya.

940
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 4: Thank you.

941
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: It's weird doing and with that, like Becca but is

942
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 2: it freeing in a way because you don't have to

943
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 2: kind of worry about tipping on each other's toes.

944
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 3: You can just have a conversation.

945
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like I can kind of take it

946
00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: where I want to take it. And I do feel

947
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: like she's somebody that I've really admired for a really

948
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 2: long time. So I got to kind of like really fangirl.

949
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,760
Speaker 2: And I don't think I like scared her.

950
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. I think she seemed genuinely flattered.

951
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

952
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like she's just she's done so much and

953
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 2: I feel like she there's so much to learn from

954
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 2: that from her.

955
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 4: So that was fun cool.

956
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, ready for some emails.

957
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 4: Ready, ready, Eddie, Here we go.

958
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 3: Jen says, my husband has an identical twin brother. Already

959
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 3: fascinating to me, but anyway, here we go. My brother

960
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 3: in law and his wife have been trying to have

961
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 3: a baby for over a year now and having difficulties.

962
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: I just found out I was probably in the last month.

963
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 3: When we told her immediate family. Everyone was super happy

964
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 3: for us, except the twin brother's wife. I get it,

965
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 3: she's hurting, and I respect that. Until some things changed

966
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 3: last week. My husband and his twin talked numerous times

967
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 3: throughout the day, and he told my husband that she

968
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 3: muted me on all social media and the plans we

969
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 3: had in the fourth of July were canceled because she

970
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 3: didn't want to hang out anymore. All of this, we

971
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 3: used to hang out quite a bit. I'm just sad

972
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 3: that this is happening, considering how happy I am to

973
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 3: be pregnant. We just found out yesterday she's starting the

974
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 3: IVF process. I could be there for her, but she's

975
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 3: completely shut me out. Do I reach out to her

976
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 3: say I'm sorry for the pain she's in. Do I

977
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 3: ignore it and act like it doesn't bother me? Do

978
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 3: I tell my husband to say something on my behalf.

979
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 3: I'm super torn on how to react to this and

980
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 3: feel like I have to downplay my excitement for the

981
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 3: sake of her feelings.

982
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 2: I think I missed a portion of that email. Did

983
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: She's just trying to get pregnant, and she hasn't gotten pregnant,

984
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 2: so she's just there wasn't a pedancy.

985
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 3: Loss, right, No, she did not mention one.

986
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 2: Now, Okay, it's very sad and unfortunate that she's reacting

987
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: that way. Because again it's like, well, I can go

988
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 2: back to what Chelsea Handler said, there's room for everyone.

989
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 4: You should just be.

990
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 2: Happy that she should be happy that you're pregnant and

991
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 2: having a baby and that their figure family's expanding. But again,

992
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 2: you can't control you can't control anybody else, and you

993
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 2: obviously can't control how people react to things. So it

994
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 2: is sad that she's acting this way. But I don't

995
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 2: think telling your husband to tell his brother to tell her.

996
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 4: Anything is the way to go.

997
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: I think you just have to lead with love, and

998
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 2: if she wants to mute you, I think she'll come

999
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 2: back around. I think she's just sad in her head

1000
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 2: about her own stuff. I think you just lead with love,

1001
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 2: keep it the relationship as good as you can for now.

1002
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: I think eventually it'll all blow over. Hopefully.

1003
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that. I don't think you should

1004
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 3: reach out to her. I think she needs her space

1005
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 3: and you're the last person she wants to talk to

1006
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: her right now. And that's nothing against you, and she

1007
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 3: would admit that's nothing against you. It's just hard, especially

1008
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 3: as the months go on and your belly grows, you're

1009
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 3: going to be even more the last person she wants

1010
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 3: to see. It's tough because you're leading parallel lives, you're

1011
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 3: married to identical twin brothers, and why her and why you?

1012
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 3: And all that's going through her head and it's not

1013
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 3: healthy and it's not great. But getting pregnant is such

1014
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 3: a personal and crucial thing for some women, and so

1015
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 3: I just say, give her her space and things will

1016
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 3: get better in the future, and just hope for her,

1017
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 3: pray for her, whatever you want to do when you

1018
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 3: see her, kill her with kindness and just wait for

1019
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 3: the storm to pass.

1020
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 5: That's work that she has to do. The sister, right,

1021
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:18,359
Speaker 5: you know, you can't do that work for her.

1022
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like one of those things you just can't

1023
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: control other people. The more you try to jump in

1024
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 2: and like make it better, it's probably going to make

1025
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 2: it worse.

1026
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 4: So you just kind of have to live your life.

1027
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 4: Don't let it.

1028
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 2: Don't let it like dim your light, like be excited

1029
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 2: and post photos and whatever you want.

1030
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't let it dim your light. I

1031
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,879
Speaker 3: agreed totally, one hundred percent. Yeah, this is who knows

1032
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 3: how this is your first time being pregnant. That's a

1033
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 3: wonderful thing. Live it, live it as much as you

1034
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 3: can live it up, she's not going to see it.

1035
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that felt like strong, strong advice.

1036
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 3: I think, so anonymous is next thing, if we can

1037
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 3: go two for two. Last night, my boyfriend of a

1038
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 3: couple of years broke up with me. Onexpect we lived together.

1039
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 3: We made it through COVID crammed in a studio apartment.

1040
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,240
Speaker 3: I thought we had come out stronger on the other side.

1041
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 3: Turns out he didn't feel the same way. Worst of all,

1042
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 3: he said that though he loves me and I'm his

1043
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 3: best friend, he no longer feels a romantic connection and

1044
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 3: doesn't think I'm the one. I've told him since our

1045
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 3: first date that I knew he was the one, and

1046
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 3: so to say I'm devastated doesn't begin to cover it.

1047
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 3: I'm about to turn thirty two, and I'm so eager

1048
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 3: for marriage and kids. I've been dreaming of starting a

1049
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 3: family for a long time, and I felt with my

1050
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 3: boyfriend that I had found by forever person and we

1051
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 3: take those next steps together. I was living in his

1052
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 3: apartment and had sold all of my belongings when we

1053
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: moved in together. So now I'm single, living with my

1054
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 3: mom and I have no belongings to start my life

1055
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 3: over with Tanya. I've been keeping a journal praying for

1056
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 3: my ex because I truly do want him to find happiness.

1057
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 3: But how do I recover from this loss of my

1058
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 3: best friend and the love of my life? How do

1059
00:48:52,840 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 3: I rebuild from nothing? This is a yeah, this is

1060
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 3: a lot. This is a big one.

1061
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot to unpack because.

1062
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: He broke up with you because he said that the

1063
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 2: romantic spark isn't there. Yeah, so like, what the hell

1064
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 2: does that mean?

1065
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 4: Are you like your sex life's not strong or like what?

1066
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:21,760
Speaker 3: No, I don't think that's it. I think that COVID

1067
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 3: was really hard in a lot of people, and being

1068
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 3: crammed with one person inside a studio apartment for a

1069
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 3: year and a half or whatever it was. I think

1070
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 3: it changes things. When you're just on top of each

1071
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 3: other all the time, it can be really, really difficult.

1072
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 3: And I'm wondering if that's what it came to. Is

1073
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 3: he just kind of you just kind of get tired

1074
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 3: of that other person being there all the time, And

1075
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 3: how can that person be the one the love of

1076
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 3: your life if you're sick of having them around? You know,

1077
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 3: that's probably what's going through his head. I don't know. Yeah,

1078
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 3: I don't want to put words in his mouth or

1079
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 3: thoughts in his head, but I think he's going through it.

1080
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 3: There's part of me that feels like, once you guys

1081
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,280
Speaker 3: have some separation, there could be something in the future.

1082
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 3: But I don't want to give that hope because that's dangerous.

1083
00:49:58,120 --> 00:49:58,319
Speaker 5: I know.

1084
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,399
Speaker 2: And I think what you really have to the frame

1085
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 2: of mind that you have to be in right now

1086
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 2: is that it is over, and that you are starting

1087
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: from nothing, that you don't have any belongings, and that

1088
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 2: you are living like you just have to just kind

1089
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 2: of really just be in the reality of the situation.

1090
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 2: And so when you're saying how do you rebuild from nothing,

1091
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 2: like you take baby steps, you know, like I think,

1092
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: maybe live with your mom for a little bit longer

1093
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:26,719
Speaker 2: while you save money. So start saving your money so

1094
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 2: that you can get a studio, apartment or something so

1095
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 2: you can you know, get your own place. So it's

1096
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,320
Speaker 2: like just let's like start small, like really peel it back.

1097
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 2: I know you say you have all these dreams to

1098
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: start a family and get married, but it's like, let's

1099
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,760
Speaker 2: just like take it back to like we're crawling right now.

1100
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 2: So save your money, live with your mom for a

1101
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 2: little bit.

1102
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:47,760
Speaker 4: Make your goal.

1103
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 2: Your next goal to be to move into a studio

1104
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,839
Speaker 2: apartment so that you have a place to like live

1105
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: on your own, furnish it at a slow pace. I

1106
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,240
Speaker 2: know it's a lot to move into a place by yourself.

1107
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 2: I did it, and I did it slowly, you know,

1108
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,439
Speaker 2: like every month you get a different paycheck, you put

1109
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 2: it to a different big thing, and you slowly build

1110
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: out your home. While you're doing that, you can be

1111
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 2: on dating apps. You cannot be on dating apps. You

1112
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 2: can do calling in the one. You can read other

1113
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 2: books like you could. There are other things that you

1114
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: can do. I just think starting from just like make

1115
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,279
Speaker 2: baby steps and put one foot in front of the other,

1116
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: because right now, I think you can get really overwhelmed.

1117
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 2: I think when relationships end, you almost feel like you're

1118
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 2: you saw your life going one way and it's like

1119
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 2: that is not a reality anymore. And I think that

1120
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 2: can be such like a shock, and so you just

1121
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: take on so much, but it's like really just kind

1122
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,919
Speaker 2: of step back, take it step by step. It's gonna

1123
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: be okay. It's gonna be okay, and you're gonna be better.

1124
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 4: And who knows. You don't know he could come back,

1125
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 4: he could not.

1126
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 2: But at that point, you're gonna be rebuilding your life

1127
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,720
Speaker 2: and you're gonna be better because you're gonna be smarter

1128
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 2: and you're not gonna give away all your things.

1129
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: You're gonna be your own independent person.

1130
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, and better for it. We've given this advice a

1131
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 3: lot in the past, but you got to focus and

1132
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 3: being the best you. You didn't give us your name,

1133
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 3: yous can give me a first name and that we'll

1134
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 3: call her that.

1135
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 5: Her first name is Stephanie.

1136
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 3: All right, you need to focus on, I mean, the

1137
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 3: best Stephanie you can possibly be, physically, mentally, whatever that, spiritually,

1138
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 3: whatever that means to you, because then if he comes back,

1139
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 3: or if the actual one comes into your life, you

1140
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 3: are going to be ready and they are going to

1141
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 3: be blown away by how incredible Stephanie is. So that's

1142
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 3: that's it. Be the best you you can possibly be.

1143
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 3: If we go two for two, I don't.

1144
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 4: Know, I'm like sad, I'm sad.

1145
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that Stephanie that you're hurting, and like

1146
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 2: you know you're gonna hurt, You're gonna cry and you're

1147
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,959
Speaker 2: going to feel those things, and like let yourself feel

1148
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 2: those things, but just know that you're so much stronger

1149
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 2: than that.

1150
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: You know.

1151
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 2: Heartbreak, it breaks you, but it doesn't it breaks you,

1152
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 2: but it doesn't.

1153
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 4: What am I trying to say?

1154
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 3: It bends you, but it doesn't breaking.

1155
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that might be it heartbreaking. So it's not heartbreak.

1156
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: It should be heart bend because it bends you. It

1157
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 2: makes you uncomfortable, It bends you into places and place

1158
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: things that you don't want to be in, but it

1159
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 2: doesn't break you.

1160
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so this is heart bend. She's going

1161
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 3: through it.

1162
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:22,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's heart bend and it sucks, and it sucks

1163
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 2: big time. Maybe get a honey jar. I mean, I'm

1164
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 2: but I like to me the honey jar and doing

1165
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 2: that like made me feel good.

1166
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 4: It made me happy. It made me feel proactive.

1167
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 2: So it's like just doing things, even if they sound

1168
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 2: silly to your friends or whoever. Like, do things that

1169
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 2: make you happy and make you feel like you're being proactive,

1170
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 2: you know, like whatever that is.

1171
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 4: If it's mini golfing every day, you want to be

1172
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 4: a you know, golfing champ, go do it.

1173
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 3: There. It is if you.

1174
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 4: Want to binge watch Sex and City from the beginning.

1175
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 3: Do it do it? Hey Grays.

1176
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 4: Grays, great idea if you like. Why dove into running?

1177
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 2: So like when I was going through my breakup, I

1178
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 2: would just like, I would like go on these runs

1179
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 2: and I would just sometimes I wouldn't even listen to music,

1180
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 2: and I would just be in my head about stuff,

1181
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: just like envisioning happy things, and I would look down

1182
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,800
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, at mile ten, I'm like, what

1183
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 2: the hell is this girl?

1184
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:19,960
Speaker 3: Well, good luck Stephanie, Good luck Stephanie. Sorry sucks. Sucks.

1185
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 4: He was posted. Though I'd like a follow up on

1186
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 4: this one.

1187
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 5: Okay, before we go, I just want to share something

1188
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 5: really quick, A personal victory. Mark was kind enough to

1189
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 5: invite me to his home for his fiftieth birthday party

1190
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:35,439
Speaker 5: a couple of weeks ago.

1191
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 4: A personal victory.

1192
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 5: I had a great time. I it was like one

1193
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 5: of the best. It was the first party I'd been

1194
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 5: to in well over a year, and goddamn, it was fun.

1195
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 3: It was really great. It was thank you for coming.

1196
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 3: It was really one of the best nights ever and

1197
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,120
Speaker 3: I'll never forget it. It was perfect.

1198
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 5: It was so yeah, really really fun. We played a

1199
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,120
Speaker 5: lot of fun games. It was just a blast. But

1200
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 5: all Mark's friends are so funny and so cool. But

1201
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 5: so throughout the night, I'm like, because we're hanging outside,

1202
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 5: we're in his beautiful backyard as well manicured backyard, and

1203
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 5: I'm like, Mark, I love a tour. I love a

1204
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,239
Speaker 5: tour of your home. And he's like, yeah, yeah, well okay,

1205
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 5: we'll see. It's weird, but okay, we'll see. And I

1206
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 5: did not let up. I did not let up. And

1207
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 5: then like right before the night was winding down, I'm like,

1208
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,680
Speaker 5: I want, I want the tour, and he's like, come

1209
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:24,399
Speaker 5: on in. I got to see every inch of Mark's home. Yes,

1210
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 5: that includes his bedroom. I got to see it all.

1211
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 4: It was wonderful and care to report.

1212
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 5: I cannot, But I mean, I know you're expecting people,

1213
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 5: but like what a clean home for a soul? Mark

1214
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 5: has these like stark white carpets like going up the

1215
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 5: stairs too.

1216
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 4: And that's impressive.

1217
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 5: And also I mean, yeah, like it's one of those

1218
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 5: things like I'm not surprised, but I'm still impressed because

1219
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 5: like if I was in my home, there'd be barbecue

1220
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 5: sauces all over the place. It's so clean. And and

1221
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 5: like such a cool vibe. And I got to see

1222
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 5: the closet he used to record in. I know, he's

1223
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 5: iconic the closet. I know right now you're in a

1224
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 5: you're in a prison cell in the middle of.

1225
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 3: My father in law's basement and Franklin, Wisconsin.

1226
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 4: Well, it's terrifying.

1227
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 2: That is so That is so funny though, because that's

1228
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 2: how Sysney was at Red Star's house when he did

1229
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 2: the surprise for me.

1230
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 4: Sysney was the same way. She was like, look, that's

1231
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 4: a great backyard. What's the house look like. I was like,

1232
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 4: do you want a tour? And she's like, yeah, I

1233
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 4: love one. I was like, Okay, here we go.

1234
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 5: I just love saying how people live, that's all you know,

1235
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 5: and I'm looking for them. And it just brought her

1236
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 5: friendship to a new level. And I really appreciate you

1237
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 5: opening up like that.

1238
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,839
Speaker 4: That's so funny. Wow, the Indian you took no photos.

1239
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,360
Speaker 4: We're no photos allowed.

1240
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, I probably could have gone live

1241
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 5: or something.

1242
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 2: Like that would have been great content for like Facebook,

1243
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 2: Facebook or something.

1244
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:59,040
Speaker 5: I mean, I didn't want to oversteppect that I was

1245
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,720
Speaker 5: getting in I thought was a major accomplishment, so maybe

1246
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 5: next time. But uh yeah, yeah, it was just a

1247
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 5: really fun party. I really appreciate being invited, and thank

1248
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 5: you so much for bringing me to the place where

1249
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 5: you sleep.

1250
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 3: Thank you Mark, of course, thank you for coming.

1251
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 4: Thank you for the report. Appreciate the report back.

1252
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 5: You know, I got a lot of dms asking about it.

1253
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 3: So I feel, okay, weird.

1254
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 4: Ten out of ten from Easton.

1255
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 5: It's a great bedroom, nice step in two again with

1256
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 5: step into again.

1257
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 4: It feels weird podcasting on a Wednesday, but you know

1258
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:36,920
Speaker 4: what that means.

1259
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 3: It's with that much closer to Monday.

1260
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 2: No, it's humph day. Yeah yeah, And I will say

1261
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 2: doing the podcast after so I have therapy every Wednesday.

1262
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 2: Wednesdays like my therapy day. And I do have to

1263
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 2: say it was definitely interesting because I like cry in therapy.

1264
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 2: So I was like just finishing that and then came

1265
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,080
Speaker 2: straight in here and I'm like.

1266
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 4: WHOA, what a weird mental shift.

1267
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: You know.

1268
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 5: Do you like going into the podcast with your head

1269
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 5: in that space after being so open?

1270
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you know it's interesting. I don't.

1271
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 2: I went straight into my vibrator story, but I could

1272
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,919
Speaker 2: have really talked about my therapy session because I got

1273
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 2: a lot out of it, Like I'm starting to unravel

1274
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 2: a lot of things that I think a lot of

1275
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 2: women can relate to, especially if they're single in their thirties.

1276
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 5: Well, that's something we could get into next time, hopefully.

1277
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 3: Why do we use that for next week?

1278
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can be And I talked a little bit

1279
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 2: about it a Chelsea Handler. But it's like, I think

1280
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 2: I unintentionally built up these walls and these you know

1281
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 2: things while I was dating, because the pattern of my

1282
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 2: life was men show up, they say they love me,

1283
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 2: and then they leave.

1284
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 4: Show up, they say they love me, and then they leave.

1285
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 2: And I can't like accept it now, Like I can't

1286
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 2: accept the love now because I'm scared that it's just

1287
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 2: going to be in that same pattern.

1288
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 5: That may I mean, I totally understand that, and uh,

1289
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 5: but I'm happy that you're making some progress and accepting

1290
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 5: love and knowing that you're worthy of love.

1291
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's weird. It's like so weird.

1292
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 3: Something to ponder, Yeah, something to ponder, indeed.

1293
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 4: Something to ponder.

1294
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 2: Maybe I can help, maybe I can articulate a little

1295
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 2: bit more when I sit with it, because I like

1296
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 2: literally just finished my session and like ten minutes and

1297
00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 2: then I came in here, so it was like fresh

1298
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 2: on my mind.

1299
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 4: I couldn't really digest it.

1300
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 5: Came in here vibrators blazing, though.

1301
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was so pissed about it. Okay, so well,

1302
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 2: I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast.

1303
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 4: We love you so much. We will be back sooner

1304
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 4: than you think.

1305
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 2: I know, I actually think it a lot of dms

1306
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 2: like where's the new podcast this week? We will be

1307
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 2: back to regularly scheduled programming next week. We love you,

1308
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 2: Mark Easton, I love you, I love you.

1309
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 7: Tata ah bye