WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: My Stepson is Rude and Disrespectful

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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<v Speaker 1>my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeks podcast. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>to give you a device on anything and everything you

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<v Speaker 1>need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or

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<v Speaker 1>having issues with your family, or maybe you have a

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<v Speaker 1>question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious

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<v Speaker 1>issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at

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<v Speaker 1>the sound of the beeB, Hey Cheeks, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Have a question, make ard e step children. I'm in

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<v Speaker 2>the same sex relationship I fail one by partner for

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<v Speaker 2>proximately seven years, and she has a of your old

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<v Speaker 2>son with her ex wife, who her ex wife carry.

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<v Speaker 2>He was about four years old when I came into

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<v Speaker 2>the picture. Over the last seven years, he has been

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<v Speaker 2>very difficult. I haven't been able to build a relationship

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<v Speaker 2>with him, even though we've had a very balanced approach

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<v Speaker 2>and respective boundaries and just tried to, you know, kind

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<v Speaker 2>of slowly ease my way into the picture. They moved

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<v Speaker 2>into my home once we my partner and I made

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<v Speaker 2>it official, and so we've been living together for approximately

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<v Speaker 2>I would say five years, so about two years into

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<v Speaker 2>the relationship. But to this day, I mean, he is

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<v Speaker 2>just extremely disrespectful and quite frankly and pleasant to be around.

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<v Speaker 2>He will walk right past me, not even say hello.

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<v Speaker 2>He I mean, just basic common things like no please,

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<v Speaker 2>no thank you. He's very entitled, and the other mom

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't help the situation. She almost fuels his fire because

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<v Speaker 2>she puts things in his head. I mean, he's made

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<v Speaker 2>comments to us like, well, you're not really my mom

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<v Speaker 2>towards my partner, which you know, she's been present since

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<v Speaker 2>he was born.

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<v Speaker 3>So at this point, I mean, it's just.

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<v Speaker 2>So unpleasant that I've come to the realization that I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like I don't really want him around, which I

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<v Speaker 2>have not addressed with my partner because I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to hurt her and because at the end of the day,

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<v Speaker 2>this is a part of her. But I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, Aura, I get it. I understand it's

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<v Speaker 1>a toughie, but I always say here on the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>that we have to take care of and protect our peace.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, respectfully, your partner is not doing her job

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<v Speaker 1>by putting him in his place. She's probably afraid of

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<v Speaker 1>doing so because she doesn't want to push him further away.

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<v Speaker 1>But she's actually not only doing a disservice to him,

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<v Speaker 1>but also to you by not telling him when he's

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<v Speaker 1>wrong and correct him. Now, I think you should have

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<v Speaker 1>this conversation with her sooner rather than later, because this

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<v Speaker 1>is just the beginning. He is twelve years old and

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<v Speaker 1>girl puberty. I'm telling you because I raised my younger

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<v Speaker 1>brother and it was very hard eleven to like nineteen.

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<v Speaker 1>It was difficult. You know, there's hormones and in school

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<v Speaker 1>and social media and everything that affects children. So I

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<v Speaker 1>would definitely have this conversation with her sooner rather than

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<v Speaker 1>later and tell her that she needs to do something

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<v Speaker 1>about it. And maybe you guys can have a family meeting,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe all of you, even the other mom you know,

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<v Speaker 1>or you could just say, look, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>take your child away from you, but I think that

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<v Speaker 1>when maybe he is over, I have to excuse myself

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<v Speaker 1>because it's just going to cause more torment and more separation,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're going to start resenting your partner. So you

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<v Speaker 1>have to figure this out. Have the conversation. Hopefully everyone's

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<v Speaker 1>open to doing it, or you just kind of excuse

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<v Speaker 1>yourself and just say, look, I don't want to make

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<v Speaker 1>this situation worse. Let me just not be around when

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<v Speaker 1>he's around. And I know that that's hard, but something

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<v Speaker 1>has to give here because it's uncomfortable to live this

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<v Speaker 1>way all around. So it's difficult. And the parents. It's

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<v Speaker 1>the parents. I need to correct him and really guide

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<v Speaker 1>him and not allow certain things in disrespect. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>it's not okay. So those are my two cents, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope it helps.

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<v Speaker 3>Ora.

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<v Speaker 1>Please keep us updated. I hope the situation gets better.

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<v Speaker 1>Sending you a big, big hug. I love your name,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way. All right, guys, so our next question

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<v Speaker 1>comes from an anonymous listener.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's see, hi, Tiki. I recently started a relationship with

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<v Speaker 3>this guy about a month ago. We've known each other

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<v Speaker 3>for four months, but we made it official about three

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<v Speaker 3>weeks ago. And he's amazing. He's a gentleman, he's kind,

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<v Speaker 3>he's spiritual, he has all those great things. He has

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<v Speaker 3>no kids. I don't have kids. The only thing that

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<v Speaker 3>I'm struggling with is his communication. I've been telling him

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<v Speaker 3>to text me back more frequently, to answer my phone

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<v Speaker 3>calls because he is busy. He's the main caregiver to

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<v Speaker 3>his mom because his mom is sick and he has

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<v Speaker 3>gotten better. If he can't pick up, he's like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>i'll call you back in a second. He texts me

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<v Speaker 3>every day for sure. But do you think it is

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<v Speaker 3>a problem that he's not blowing up my phone? Because

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, why aren't you blowing up my phone? Because

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<v Speaker 3>other guys have only those have never led to anything serious.

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<v Speaker 3>And he and I are in a relationship and he

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<v Speaker 3>does try. He has changed. So am I being just

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<v Speaker 3>too stubborn or do you think change is good and

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<v Speaker 3>I should keep going?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So this one's a little difficult to answer because

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I need more details. I mean, if

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<v Speaker 1>he's not answering more than answering you, then for me,

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<v Speaker 1>that's an issue. Especially if you want to be in

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<v Speaker 1>a committed relationship, he needs to give. It's both ways.

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<v Speaker 1>I understand that he is the main caregiver for his mother. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I applaud that. I think that's amazing, it's admirable. But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I got this feeling in my heart

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<v Speaker 1>that something is something's weird there, And I'm not trying

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<v Speaker 1>to put things in your head, but I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>if he's like, oh, call you right back. Maybe he

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<v Speaker 1>is busy with his mom. Maybe I don't know, have

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<v Speaker 1>you met the mom? Have you been over there? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>where is this? I mean I know that the relationship

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<v Speaker 1>is very new, but I don't know. Those are my

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<v Speaker 1>questions to you because I'm like, okay, is there something

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<v Speaker 1>else going on here? But I think that it's okay

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<v Speaker 1>for a guy to be busy and not answer as

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<v Speaker 1>quick as you'd like. You know, but communication is major,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if you've brought it up to his attention and

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<v Speaker 1>it still hasn't gotten better. Maybe a little better, give

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<v Speaker 1>it some time. But communication is huge in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>It's what makes you feel safe, it's what helps the

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<v Speaker 1>relationship flourish. So if he is not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to give what you're asking for, that's going to

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<v Speaker 1>become a problem later on, especially if it's happening this

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<v Speaker 1>early on. You have to kind of mold him to

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<v Speaker 1>what it is that you want, but he also has

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<v Speaker 1>to be willing. So I don't know, girl, I let's

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<v Speaker 1>pray about this one. But that's my advice. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that is my opinion and I hope it helps some

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't know. I Again, like I said, I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I need more details because he's probably seeing

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<v Speaker 1>it as you're coming off a little clingy or needy.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think in a relationship it's okay to be

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<v Speaker 1>that way, but not too much. That's why I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I need more details. I personally don't think it's

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<v Speaker 1>clingy or needy. I mean it also depends, Hey, is

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<v Speaker 1>he taking hours to respond? Does he never not answer

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<v Speaker 1>your phone calls? I mean, that's why I am saying

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<v Speaker 1>I need more details. So maybe you should leave me

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<v Speaker 1>another question and give me more details, and for sure

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<v Speaker 1>I'll give you a more SOLF answer. Thank you so

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<v Speaker 1>much for your question. Okay, guys, next question comes from Rosa.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi chiek Is. My question for you is will you

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<v Speaker 3>be making an English album in the future.

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<v Speaker 1>All Rosa, I love talking about music, especially right now

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm super super inspired. If you listen to Cheeky's

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<v Speaker 1>and Chill. I decided to take a step back from

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<v Speaker 1>music just to kind of recalibrate and find that passion

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<v Speaker 1>again in my music, and I have found it and

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<v Speaker 1>talking about English music. I have recorded some songs in English,

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<v Speaker 1>but definitely going to tap in more in English. I've

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<v Speaker 1>been writing a lot of poems lately, and I've been

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<v Speaker 1>very very inspired by just so much that's going on

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<v Speaker 1>in my personal life and the changes and shift that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm feeling. So you can definitely expect English music, Spanish

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<v Speaker 1>music a little bit different from what you guys are

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<v Speaker 1>probably used to. But it won't surprise a lot of people,

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<v Speaker 1>because That's what I'm all about, you know, on social media,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to give too many details, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't feel it's going to surprise the people that

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<v Speaker 1>really really know my heart. I'm still going to do,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, regional. I love regional, I love BANDA, but

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<v Speaker 1>I want to try something very different. I want to

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<v Speaker 1>really do like a Jane album, you know. So for

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<v Speaker 1>sure there will be English music on there, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>very Jenae. So thank you so much for your question.

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<v Speaker 1>I appreciate it, and for Aura and the anonymous listener,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys, thank you so much for your questions. I

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<v Speaker 1>hope that I was able to help. Again for the

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<v Speaker 1>anonymous listener, pretty please leave me more details and I

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<v Speaker 1>will for sure hopefully answer better and give you better advice.

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<v Speaker 1>But I appreciate you guys's questions, and if you have

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<v Speaker 1>a question about anything, guys, literally anything, I will be

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<v Speaker 1>happy to answer it from the bottom of my heart

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<v Speaker 1>and give you the best advice because I definitely have

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<v Speaker 1>your best interest at heart, and I'm always going to

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<v Speaker 1>try to guide you, guys and put you on the

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<v Speaker 1>right track if I can. It's all in your hands

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<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day. So if you have

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<v Speaker 1>a question and you haven't a left one yet, or

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<v Speaker 1>even if you have left one, go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>us another question or your first question at speakpipe dot

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<v Speaker 1>com slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. That is speakpipe dot

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<v Speaker 1>Com slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcast. I love you guys

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<v Speaker 1>so much. Oh and also I love updates, Okay, so

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<v Speaker 1>give me updates. If any of my advice helped you,

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<v Speaker 1>please let me know. Okay, all right, I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>See you later on the next episode of Your Cheeky.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Microuldura podcast Network.

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<v Speaker 1>Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow

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