Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheeks podcast. I'm here
Speaker 1: to give you a device on anything and everything you
Speaker 1: need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
Speaker 1: having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
Speaker 1: question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
Speaker 1: in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
Speaker 1: issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
Speaker 1: the sound of the beeB, Hey Cheeks, I.
Speaker 2: Have a question, make ard e step children. I'm in
Speaker 2: the same sex relationship I fail one by partner for
Speaker 2: proximately seven years, and she has a of your old
Speaker 2: son with her ex wife, who her ex wife carry.
Speaker 2: He was about four years old when I came into
Speaker 2: the picture. Over the last seven years, he has been
Speaker 2: very difficult. I haven't been able to build a relationship
Speaker 2: with him, even though we've had a very balanced approach
Speaker 2: and respective boundaries and just tried to, you know, kind
Speaker 2: of slowly ease my way into the picture. They moved
Speaker 2: into my home once we my partner and I made
Speaker 2: it official, and so we've been living together for approximately
Speaker 2: I would say five years, so about two years into
Speaker 2: the relationship. But to this day, I mean, he is
Speaker 2: just extremely disrespectful and quite frankly and pleasant to be around.
Speaker 2: He will walk right past me, not even say hello.
Speaker 2: He I mean, just basic common things like no please,
Speaker 2: no thank you. He's very entitled, and the other mom
Speaker 2: doesn't help the situation. She almost fuels his fire because
Speaker 2: she puts things in his head. I mean, he's made
Speaker 2: comments to us like, well, you're not really my mom
Speaker 2: towards my partner, which you know, she's been present since
Speaker 2: he was born.
Speaker 3: So at this point, I mean, it's just.
Speaker 2: So unpleasant that I've come to the realization that I
Speaker 2: feel like I don't really want him around, which I
Speaker 2: have not addressed with my partner because I don't want
Speaker 2: to hurt her and because at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: this is a part of her. But I don't know
Speaker 2: what to do.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Aura, I get it. I understand it's
Speaker 1: a toughie, but I always say here on the podcast
Speaker 1: that we have to take care of and protect our peace.
Speaker 1: I think, respectfully, your partner is not doing her job
Speaker 1: by putting him in his place. She's probably afraid of
Speaker 1: doing so because she doesn't want to push him further away.
Speaker 1: But she's actually not only doing a disservice to him,
Speaker 1: but also to you by not telling him when he's
Speaker 1: wrong and correct him. Now, I think you should have
Speaker 1: this conversation with her sooner rather than later, because this
Speaker 1: is just the beginning. He is twelve years old and
Speaker 1: girl puberty. I'm telling you because I raised my younger
Speaker 1: brother and it was very hard eleven to like nineteen.
Speaker 1: It was difficult. You know, there's hormones and in school
Speaker 1: and social media and everything that affects children. So I
Speaker 1: would definitely have this conversation with her sooner rather than
Speaker 1: later and tell her that she needs to do something
Speaker 1: about it. And maybe you guys can have a family meeting,
Speaker 1: maybe all of you, even the other mom you know,
Speaker 1: or you could just say, look, I don't want to
Speaker 1: take your child away from you, but I think that
Speaker 1: when maybe he is over, I have to excuse myself
Speaker 1: because it's just going to cause more torment and more separation,
Speaker 1: and you're going to start resenting your partner. So you
Speaker 1: have to figure this out. Have the conversation. Hopefully everyone's
Speaker 1: open to doing it, or you just kind of excuse
Speaker 1: yourself and just say, look, I don't want to make
Speaker 1: this situation worse. Let me just not be around when
Speaker 1: he's around. And I know that that's hard, but something
Speaker 1: has to give here because it's uncomfortable to live this
Speaker 1: way all around. So it's difficult. And the parents. It's
Speaker 1: the parents. I need to correct him and really guide
Speaker 1: him and not allow certain things in disrespect. It's just
Speaker 1: it's not okay. So those are my two cents, and
Speaker 1: I hope it helps.
Speaker 3: Ora.
Speaker 1: Please keep us updated. I hope the situation gets better.
Speaker 1: Sending you a big, big hug. I love your name,
Speaker 1: by the way. All right, guys, so our next question
Speaker 1: comes from an anonymous listener.
Speaker 3: Let's see, hi, Tiki. I recently started a relationship with
Speaker 3: this guy about a month ago. We've known each other
Speaker 3: for four months, but we made it official about three
Speaker 3: weeks ago. And he's amazing. He's a gentleman, he's kind,
Speaker 3: he's spiritual, he has all those great things. He has
Speaker 3: no kids. I don't have kids. The only thing that
Speaker 3: I'm struggling with is his communication. I've been telling him
Speaker 3: to text me back more frequently, to answer my phone
Speaker 3: calls because he is busy. He's the main caregiver to
Speaker 3: his mom because his mom is sick and he has
Speaker 3: gotten better. If he can't pick up, he's like, hey,
Speaker 3: i'll call you back in a second. He texts me
Speaker 3: every day for sure. But do you think it is
Speaker 3: a problem that he's not blowing up my phone? Because
Speaker 3: I'm like, why aren't you blowing up my phone? Because
Speaker 3: other guys have only those have never led to anything serious.
Speaker 3: And he and I are in a relationship and he
Speaker 3: does try. He has changed. So am I being just
Speaker 3: too stubborn or do you think change is good and
Speaker 3: I should keep going?
Speaker 1: Okay, So this one's a little difficult to answer because
Speaker 1: I feel like I need more details. I mean, if
Speaker 1: he's not answering more than answering you, then for me,
Speaker 1: that's an issue. Especially if you want to be in
Speaker 1: a committed relationship, he needs to give. It's both ways.
Speaker 1: I understand that he is the main caregiver for his mother. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I applaud that. I think that's amazing, it's admirable. But
Speaker 1: I don't know. I got this feeling in my heart
Speaker 1: that something is something's weird there, And I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to put things in your head, but I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: if he's like, oh, call you right back. Maybe he
Speaker 1: is busy with his mom. Maybe I don't know, have
Speaker 1: you met the mom? Have you been over there? I mean,
Speaker 1: where is this? I mean I know that the relationship
Speaker 1: is very new, but I don't know. Those are my
Speaker 1: questions to you because I'm like, okay, is there something
Speaker 1: else going on here? But I think that it's okay
Speaker 1: for a guy to be busy and not answer as
Speaker 1: quick as you'd like. You know, but communication is major,
Speaker 1: especially if you've brought it up to his attention and
Speaker 1: it still hasn't gotten better. Maybe a little better, give
Speaker 1: it some time. But communication is huge in a relationship.
Speaker 1: It's what makes you feel safe, it's what helps the
Speaker 1: relationship flourish. So if he is not going to be
Speaker 1: able to give what you're asking for, that's going to
Speaker 1: become a problem later on, especially if it's happening this
Speaker 1: early on. You have to kind of mold him to
Speaker 1: what it is that you want, but he also has
Speaker 1: to be willing. So I don't know, girl, I let's
Speaker 1: pray about this one. But that's my advice. I mean,
Speaker 1: that is my opinion and I hope it helps some
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I Again, like I said, I
Speaker 1: feel like I need more details because he's probably seeing
Speaker 1: it as you're coming off a little clingy or needy.
Speaker 1: But I think in a relationship it's okay to be
Speaker 1: that way, but not too much. That's why I feel
Speaker 1: like I need more details. I personally don't think it's
Speaker 1: clingy or needy. I mean it also depends, Hey, is
Speaker 1: he taking hours to respond? Does he never not answer
Speaker 1: your phone calls? I mean, that's why I am saying
Speaker 1: I need more details. So maybe you should leave me
Speaker 1: another question and give me more details, and for sure
Speaker 1: I'll give you a more SOLF answer. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for your question. Okay, guys, next question comes from Rosa.
Speaker 3: Hi chiek Is. My question for you is will you
Speaker 3: be making an English album in the future.
Speaker 1: All Rosa, I love talking about music, especially right now
Speaker 1: because I'm super super inspired. If you listen to Cheeky's
Speaker 1: and Chill. I decided to take a step back from
Speaker 1: music just to kind of recalibrate and find that passion
Speaker 1: again in my music, and I have found it and
Speaker 1: talking about English music. I have recorded some songs in English,
Speaker 1: but definitely going to tap in more in English. I've
Speaker 1: been writing a lot of poems lately, and I've been
Speaker 1: very very inspired by just so much that's going on
Speaker 1: in my personal life and the changes and shift that
Speaker 1: I'm feeling. So you can definitely expect English music, Spanish
Speaker 1: music a little bit different from what you guys are
Speaker 1: probably used to. But it won't surprise a lot of people,
Speaker 1: because That's what I'm all about, you know, on social media,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to give too many details, but
Speaker 1: I don't feel it's going to surprise the people that
Speaker 1: really really know my heart. I'm still going to do,
Speaker 1: of course, regional. I love regional, I love BANDA, but
Speaker 1: I want to try something very different. I want to
Speaker 1: really do like a Jane album, you know. So for
Speaker 1: sure there will be English music on there, because that's
Speaker 1: very Jenae. So thank you so much for your question.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, and for Aura and the anonymous listener,
Speaker 1: you guys, thank you so much for your questions. I
Speaker 1: hope that I was able to help. Again for the
Speaker 1: anonymous listener, pretty please leave me more details and I
Speaker 1: will for sure hopefully answer better and give you better advice.
Speaker 1: But I appreciate you guys's questions, and if you have
Speaker 1: a question about anything, guys, literally anything, I will be
Speaker 1: happy to answer it from the bottom of my heart
Speaker 1: and give you the best advice because I definitely have
Speaker 1: your best interest at heart, and I'm always going to
Speaker 1: try to guide you, guys and put you on the
Speaker 1: right track if I can. It's all in your hands
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. So if you have
Speaker 1: a question and you haven't a left one yet, or
Speaker 1: even if you have left one, go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: us another question or your first question at speakpipe dot
Speaker 1: com slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast. That is speakpipe dot
Speaker 1: Com slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcast. I love you guys
Speaker 1: so much. Oh and also I love updates, Okay, so
Speaker 1: give me updates. If any of my advice helped you,
Speaker 1: please let me know. Okay, all right, I love you.
Speaker 1: See you later on the next episode of Your Cheeky.
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