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Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: real quick, we got a two minute break from our

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Speaker 1: lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing. My father discovered he

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Speaker 1: had another daughter, and I want nothing to do with them.

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Speaker 1: She's say, we're gonna find out, that's for sure. February twentieth,

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, random account because my brother uses Reddit

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Speaker 1: to last year, my dad found out that he had

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Speaker 1: another kid, Mia, thirty female and a granddaughter, Zoe seven.

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Speaker 1: Before this, it was me seventeen male, my brother twenty male,

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Speaker 1: and our parents fifty five male fifty two female. Apparently

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Speaker 1: he just had a fling with MIA's mom when he

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Speaker 1: was in college, who ghosted him and never told him

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Speaker 1: about being pregnant. By the way, this comes from user

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Speaker 1: routine status fourteen ninety two, and if you want to

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Speaker 1: submit your stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: subreddit and submit them there. So since finding out, it's

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Speaker 1: all my dad talks about. He and Mia tan and

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Speaker 1: called for a couple of months, and then she let

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Speaker 1: him meet Zoe over zoom and then last summer they

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Speaker 1: came to visit us we live in a big city

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Speaker 1: and they live a couple states over. My brother was

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Speaker 1: at college, but he even drove back for a weekend

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Speaker 1: to meet them too. Everyone was so excited except me, Like,

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Speaker 1: no one acknowledged how weird the whole thing is. Mia

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Speaker 1: is nice, I guess, but she kept saying how she's

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Speaker 1: so excited to have a family for her and Zoe.

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Speaker 1: I guess her mom's not in the picture. My parents

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Speaker 1: wanted to show them around our city, so anytime I

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Speaker 1: didn't have school or practice, I was being dragged around

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Speaker 1: doing things for tourists and kids. And with that in mind,

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Speaker 1: that was the thing that got on my nerves the

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Speaker 1: most about that trip. MIA's kid, Zoe, who is seven,

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Speaker 1: she was so excited to have a nan and pap

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Speaker 1: and kept calling me uncle o Pete. They even came

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Speaker 1: to one of my soccer games that week and she

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Speaker 1: ran up after in front of my friends to hug

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Speaker 1: me and tell me that she wanted to play soccer

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Speaker 1: now too because her uncle is the best on the team.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you are such a teenager, because that's the sweetest

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Speaker 2: thing ever.

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Speaker 1: Wow. When they visited over winter break, it was a

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Speaker 1: lot of the same stuff my parents got them a

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Speaker 1: ton of presents, and Zoe kept asking me questions and

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Speaker 1: asking to play games with her. I also found out

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Speaker 1: that my dad is sending them money each month, since

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Speaker 1: MIA's job doesn't pay that well. I tried confiding in

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Speaker 1: my brother about it, but he seems totally fine and

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Speaker 1: says it's making our parents really happy to have more family. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: my dad just told me they're coming up again in

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, and Ice snapped. I admit that

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Speaker 1: I raised my voice a bit and asked why he

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Speaker 1: cares so much about people he met less than a

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Speaker 1: year ago. Everyone keeps saying Mia and Zoe our family,

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Speaker 1: but they didn't grow up with us, and I literally

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Speaker 1: can't see them as actual family. I also said she's

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Speaker 1: probably just using him for the money, which I know

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Speaker 1: was probably a weaner move, but he said he's the

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Speaker 1: one that insisted on sending the money and he feels

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Speaker 1: guilty for not being there in her life. But it

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Speaker 1: still feels so weird. So I told him I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to do anything with them while they're here. Now,

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Speaker 1: he's saying that if I can't be a team player

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Speaker 1: in the family, you'll have to reconsider taking me on

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Speaker 1: our family vacation this year, which I guess they're also

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Speaker 1: going on my mom's on his side, saying Mia had

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Speaker 1: a hard life, so it's natural she's excited to have

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Speaker 1: a family and that she loves having more girls in

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Speaker 1: the house every once in a while. My friends are

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Speaker 1: the only ones on my side. I mean your seventeen

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Speaker 1: year old. Yeah, there are the.

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Speaker 2: Other seventeen year olds in your life.

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Speaker 1: They said they'd find it weird if random people just

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Speaker 1: showed up one day be in their family. Verdict a hole. Yes.

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Speaker 1: Here's some top comments. Comment number one, you're the ale

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Speaker 1: I understand this can be a hard adjustment. You're not

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Speaker 1: the baby anymore, and that can be jarring. There's a

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Speaker 1: kid in the picture when you're used to being the youngest.

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing, you're still acting more like a

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Speaker 1: baby than the actual seven year old. Like it or not.

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Speaker 1: They are family. Maybe not your family if you don't

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Speaker 1: consider them as such, but they're your dad's family, your

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Speaker 1: mom's family, your brother's family, and by proxy you're involved.

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Speaker 1: They have done nothing wrong except act like a family.

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Speaker 1: Your parents and brother have done nothing wrong by welcoming

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Speaker 1: them as family, saying Mia is using her father for

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Speaker 1: money is an a whole move, and you owe them

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Speaker 1: an apology. You need to self reflect and realize why

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Speaker 1: this is pressing you so bad. Talk with your parents,

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Speaker 1: your school counselor ask for therapy or do anything to

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Speaker 1: figure this out. Again, having conflicting emotions over this is valid,

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Speaker 1: but the way you've been acting is not. Identify the problem,

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Speaker 1: and note the problem isn't Mia, it isn't Zoe, it

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Speaker 1: is within you.

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Speaker 2: That was a good comment. That was saying, like, you're

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Speaker 2: allowed to be like, you know, kind of confuse and all,

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Speaker 2: but you need to dock with your parents about this.

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Speaker 1: Agreed. We have another comment here, comment or number two,

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Speaker 1: you are the a whole And asked why he cared

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Speaker 1: so much about people who met him less than a

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Speaker 1: year ago because it's his kid and grandkid. Of course

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Speaker 1: he effing cares. I also said she's probably just using

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Speaker 1: him for the money. No need to lash out because

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Speaker 1: you're having trouble with this. There's other ways to express yourself.

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Speaker 1: They said they'd find it weird if random people. Well

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Speaker 1: guess what, they're not random. They are his kid and grandkid.

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Speaker 1: But I guess this is how a seventeen year old

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Speaker 1: would see it. I'm sure this is a big adjustment

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Speaker 1: for you, but you're seventeen and playing the petulant kid

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna work. You can spend your time being salty

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Speaker 1: and nasty about this and ostracize your dad in the process,

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Speaker 1: or you can try and move on with the family,

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Speaker 1: get to know these relatives and maybe have fun com

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Speaker 1: Andre three says, I'm not gonna call you an ale.

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Speaker 1: Boo boo this commenter, this kid's being an ale.

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Speaker 2: You gotta call them out, man. But they're gonna be nice.

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Speaker 2: They'd be nice, man.

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Speaker 1: Sure, they're gonna be nice. Let's see, you're seventeen and

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Speaker 1: having trouble dealing with this new change. You can't take

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Speaker 1: it out on others, though, especially not letting Mia and

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Speaker 1: the kid know about any of this. Simply ask your

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Speaker 1: dad to take this slow and not force you to

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Speaker 1: be around them that ain't magically gonna make you like them. Sure,

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Speaker 1: this isn't about you, but you're also the one dealing

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Speaker 1: with this change, so it's not fey to ask you

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Speaker 1: to Just comment. To number four, you said that since

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Speaker 1: he found out Mia and Zoe are all he talks about,

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Speaker 1: it's been a year. Is that still true or was

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Speaker 1: that only true for the first couple of months where

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Speaker 1: he was still reeling from the life altering news that

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Speaker 1: he had a kid that he's never met. If it's

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Speaker 1: still true, then I give you a bit of a pass.

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Speaker 1: No one is great at communication at your age, and

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Speaker 1: that's if you've really examined which parts of the situation

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Speaker 1: really bother you. Assuming they are all he talks about,

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Speaker 1: he dropped his interest in your life. He thinks that

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Speaker 1: they're perfect, and you're not acting like a better dad

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Speaker 1: for her than for you. What is it that's stabbing

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Speaker 1: your brain? If that's not true, you need to examine

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Speaker 1: yourself anyway, all these same questions. But I give you

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Speaker 1: less of a pass if your dad found his footing

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Speaker 1: and is back to normal, interested in your life, paying

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Speaker 1: attention to your decisions, giving advice for your future, showing

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Speaker 1: up to your game, showing up for you outside of

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Speaker 1: generalized family time. Is it just that you literally don't

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Speaker 1: know them, but everyone is acting like they do. Is

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Speaker 1: it just that it takes you time to warm up

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Speaker 1: to people and no one is respecting that. What is

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Speaker 1: it really? Comment or stop giving op the leeway, op

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Speaker 1: He's just being able.

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Speaker 2: It's a nice comment though, It's sure it's nice, but

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Speaker 2: I think it's trying to figure out why OPI is

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Speaker 2: being in a whole is the question.

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Speaker 1: Because Opie's like, it's not my family. But that's the thing.

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Speaker 2: Op He probably doesn't know why they're reacting this way,

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Speaker 2: which isn't what doesn't make it right, but it does

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Speaker 2: mean that, like, you know, they need to figure out

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Speaker 2: what is the root of these feelings.

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Speaker 1: From the title of this and from the way Opie's acting,

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Speaker 1: it's like I would understand this reaction if this was

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Speaker 1: a secret family that Opie's dad had been like taken

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Speaker 1: care of and like been present for for years and

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Speaker 1: years and years and now is trying to like fold

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Speaker 1: the secret family into the general family. But that's not

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Speaker 1: the case. Secret family was secret from dad as well. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: threatening to leave you off the family vacation is a

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Speaker 1: weener move, so I guess you come by that honestly,

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Speaker 1: even more so if he actually does it. Y'all need

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Speaker 1: to have multiple conversations about this situation, probably with a therapist,

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Speaker 1: because as I said above, it's going to be hard

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Speaker 1: for you to really articulate how and why you feel

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Speaker 1: like you do. If he doesn't listen to you you

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Speaker 1: or continues to dismiss how you feel, then he is

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Speaker 1: the butt. That doesn't mean that I think he's wrong

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Speaker 1: for accepting his daughter and granddaughter with an open heart.

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Speaker 1: Your mom and brother aren't wrong for not finding the

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Speaker 1: situation weird. They're allowed to feel how they feel. You

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Speaker 1: don't get to dictate that anymore than they do for you.

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Speaker 1: And there is an update six days after the original post,

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Speaker 1: Let's dig into it. Thanks to everyone who gave me

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Speaker 1: actual advice rather than just calling me a spoiled a

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Speaker 1: hole about the situation with no further comment, I was

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Speaker 1: actually able to think through my emotions and formulate a

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Speaker 1: plan forward.

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Speaker 2: Oh go, sometimes you just need the comments that were

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Speaker 2: like you're being a little brat, but here right.

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Speaker 1: You can't just tell the kid, yeah, you're an ahole

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Speaker 1: and then like move on.

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Speaker 2: It's like this is why, or at least this is why.

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Speaker 2: I think. Go talk to your parents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, I sat down with my parents on Sunday

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Speaker 1: and we had a productive conversation. I apologized for snapping

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Speaker 1: last week and told them that I was just having

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Speaker 1: a difficult time with the amount of changes over the year,

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Speaker 1: and it had built up. Through reading your comments, I

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Speaker 1: realized that these feelings were probably coming from the fact

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Speaker 1: that I am, as many of you guessed, the youngest

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Speaker 1: on both sides of the family. There had always been

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Speaker 1: a lot of emphasis on that, and with it being

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Speaker 1: my senior year, I kind of expected a bit more

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Speaker 1: of the spotlight than I'm getting. I also think having

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Speaker 1: my brother being away at school put most of the

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Speaker 1: expectations on me to be a good son or brother,

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Speaker 1: or uncle or host. I was feeling a little resentment

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Speaker 1: that he was able to escape back to his campus

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Speaker 1: while I was stuck at home. I was pinning those

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Speaker 1: feelings on Mia and Zoe, which I recognize isn't fair.

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Speaker 1: My parents also apologized for not checking in with me

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Speaker 1: more often about how I was feeling. I asked if

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Speaker 1: I could opt out of some activities when Mia and

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Speaker 1: Zoe visit so I could still enjoy my spring break

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Speaker 1: with friends. In compromise, I would make more of an

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Speaker 1: effort to engage with them in general, like maybe playing

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Speaker 1: soccer with Zoe. Stop being a brad dude, play play

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Speaker 1: soccer with the seven year old.

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Speaker 2: Play soccer?

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Speaker 1: Do people just hate kid. Look, this is all the

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Speaker 1: proof you need that I do not hate kids indiscriminately.

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Speaker 1: I would be as soon as the kid runs up

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Speaker 1: to me and goes, I want to play soccer because

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Speaker 1: you're the best, I'd be like, well, you are my

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Speaker 1: sister for life.

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Speaker 2: Now he really finds those kids doring bad behavior aren't

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Speaker 2: always conscious of the fact that it's harmful to someone else, exactly.

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Speaker 2: They just know that they're coping or it makes them

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Speaker 2: feel better or at least stimulated in a less.

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Speaker 1: Negative way, exactly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the person that he trusted the most, it seems like,

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Speaker 3: in this situation was his older brother, and his older

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Speaker 3: brother was just like, dude, it's nothing like this, brush

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Speaker 3: it off your shoulder, and like the older brother should

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Speaker 3: have seen it as like a my brother's not okay

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Speaker 3: kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: Well, older brother's also been in college not present the

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Speaker 1: whole time, so maybe, yeah, that's more of it. But regardless,

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Speaker 1: you can always be present in our college which is

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Speaker 1: what I'm gonna call the archive of full episodes with

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Speaker 1: stories like this, And you can listen to our college

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Speaker 1: archive if you just go to iHeartRadio or Apple podcast

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Speaker 1: or Spotify wherever you listen to podcasts. Search Okay story time,

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Speaker 1: and there you will find the library, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: And we do have a little bit more story left.

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Speaker 1: Study hall. Let's finish it up. Read it ultimately. I've

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Speaker 1: realized that my sister and niece aren't going anywhere, and

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Speaker 1: I have to sort out my feelings about that. I

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Speaker 1: do think me going to college out of state in

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Speaker 1: a couple of months will help give me my own space,

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Speaker 1: but for now I'll try to make more of an

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Speaker 1: effort to integrate them into my life. Comment one, nicely done. Seriously,

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Speaker 1: good job. You're a good soul kid. Ohp handled the

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Speaker 1: situation much better than most of the adults. Comment three.

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Speaker 1: You seem like a really sweet kid that just needed

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Speaker 1: some guidance in reregulating. The amount of self reflection you've

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Speaker 1: done is admirable. Proud of you, stranger. Comment are four

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Speaker 1: Probably literally just the same thing, and that is the end.

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Speaker 2: My sister mistreated me for years. Now they're forcing us

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Speaker 2: to reconcile.

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Speaker 1: I force you, I cast reconcile.

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Speaker 2: I forty six female and my sister forty two female,

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Speaker 2: have always had a complicated relationship, but for the last

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Speaker 2: eight years it's been a nightmare, at least for me

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Speaker 2: and for my parents Moms sixty nine, Dad seventy three.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Chapter New seventy nine sixteen,

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Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to our slash Okay storytime. Separate it so for context.

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Speaker 2: My mom's family is a large one and very well knit.

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Speaker 2: We are sixteen cousins plus spouses and children, aunts and uncles,

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Speaker 2: about sixty three people in total. We've always been there

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Speaker 2: for each other, from going to school together to supporting

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Speaker 2: each other through good times and bad. We celebrate everything

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Speaker 2: together and we grieve together. It's not the usual family dynamic,

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Speaker 2: but that's how it is. My relationship with my sister

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Speaker 2: has never been great. She's always made remarks about my

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Speaker 2: appearance and body shamed me. I didn't handle it well

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Speaker 2: as a teenager, and I resented her a lot for it.

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Speaker 2: Whenever I tried to talk to my parents about anything,

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Speaker 2: she would talk over me, making sure she was the

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Speaker 2: only one heard. She always managed to be the center

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Speaker 2: of attention, and I resented her for it. I know

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Speaker 2: it sounds childish on my part, but I couldn't stand

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Speaker 2: her entitled behavior and the fact that my parents never

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Speaker 2: corrected her made it worse. Here's an example that keeps

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Speaker 2: running through my mind. It may not be the best,

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Speaker 2: but it gives you an idea of what I mean.

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Speaker 2: When I got married twenty years ago, I had a

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Speaker 2: small ceremony with just our immediate families and a few

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Speaker 2: friends one twenty five people in total. Small for our family.

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Speaker 2: My sister was twenty two at the time and insisted

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Speaker 2: on giving me a present, which seemed sweet. However, I

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Speaker 2: only asked her for the one thing, not to give

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Speaker 2: me anything cross stitched, as I don't like it. Guess

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Speaker 2: what my gift from her was. If you guessed a

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Speaker 2: cross stitched item your rights. She made a huge show

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Speaker 2: of giving me a framed cross stitch piece in front

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Speaker 2: of everyone. I was livid, but I didn't want it

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Speaker 2: to ruin my day. I thanked her, though not in

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Speaker 2: the best way, and moved on. Before leaving, my mom

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Speaker 2: told me I had been very ungrateful for the beautiful,

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Speaker 2: hard working present my lovely sister had made for me.

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Speaker 2: I never apologized to either of them. Sometime later, my

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Speaker 2: sister met her then boyfriend and started behaving as if

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Speaker 2: everyone was against her because she was spending so much

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Speaker 2: time at this house. Our parents didn't like it much.

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Speaker 2: One evening she called as crying, saying she had a

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Speaker 2: fight with our parents about her absences and threatened to

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Speaker 2: run away. We told her to wait and that we

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Speaker 2: would come get her. But suddenly everything was fine and

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Speaker 2: we didn't need to come anymore. Turns out everything was

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Speaker 2: a lie. Who could have guessed. Time went on, and

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Speaker 2: one day she and her boyfriend came over to announce

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Speaker 2: they were getting married. Great news, right, well, that was

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Speaker 2: the beginning of the nightmare. As we were discussing the wedding,

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Speaker 2: she said, you know, when I have my own children,

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Speaker 2: you'll realize that mine will outshine yours. They will take

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Speaker 2: first place as the most significant children.

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Speaker 1: That's toxic.

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Speaker 2: I was livid. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

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Speaker 2: Thanks to my SOO, I managed to keep my composure.

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Speaker 2: How I still don't know. Then came the wedding planning.

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Speaker 2: As I mentioned, my family celebrates everything together, but not

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Speaker 2: this time. She was adamant about not inviting any family members.

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Speaker 2: Here were her reasons. First, she claims she didn't have

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Speaker 2: the money. My mom and I told her that wasn't

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Speaker 2: a problem. Our parents would pay for the entire family

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Speaker 2: to attend. Then it wasn't about money anymore. She said

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Speaker 2: she was thinking of me because our female cousins, who

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Speaker 2: she considers stunning, would overshadow me, especially since I had

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Speaker 2: gained weight after two pregnancies. That's messed up of her

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Speaker 2: to say. When that didn't work, she claims she knew

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Speaker 2: I didn't like one of our cousins and was sparing

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Speaker 2: me for dealing with them. This was completely untrue. She

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Speaker 2: just didn't want to invite the whole family. By this time,

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Speaker 2: my mom was begging me to keep quiet and tried

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Speaker 2: to convince my sister that inviting the family was important

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Speaker 2: to avoid causing a rift. I did everything I could

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Speaker 2: to persuade her, but she didn't care. Months later, she

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Speaker 2: invited me to go wedding dress shopping. When I arrived,

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Speaker 2: she was alone. She hadn't even told our mother to come.

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Speaker 2: I was already at my wits end. She had already

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Speaker 2: chosen her dress, and as the sales lady was fitting it,

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Speaker 2: she asked about a veil. My wonderful sister then said,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear that one, pointing at me. What were

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Speaker 2: you wearing a veil?

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Speaker 1: What? Wait what.

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Speaker 2: I was stunned. I told her no, she didn't take

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Speaker 2: it well. But the saleslady saved me by saying that

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Speaker 2: if my wedding dress wasn't the same shade of white,

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Speaker 2: it wouldn't match.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, so she was wearing wedding dress as well.

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Speaker 1: They're both trying on wedding dress to keep that part

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Speaker 1: that I didn't. I just thought, pointed at you and

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Speaker 1: was like, you will be the veil. Yeah, no, not me.

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Speaker 1: They just take you into the back and the veil

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Speaker 1: folding machine and they just process you into a wedding veil.

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Speaker 2: Then my sister demanded that I give her my godmother's

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Speaker 2: medal because she wanted to wear it for the wedding.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't take it anymore. I shouted that there was

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Speaker 2: no way in heck she was taking it. It was

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Speaker 2: the only thing I had left from my godmother, who

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Speaker 2: had passed away just months after my wedding. I couldn't

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Speaker 2: believe she wanted to include the passed away in her wedding,

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Speaker 2: but not the living. I was exhausted and devastated. I

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Speaker 2: called my mom, explained everything and told her where we were. Wait,

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Speaker 2: you've already had your wedding, it seems.

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Speaker 1: Why were you wearing your dress? Did she tell you

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Speaker 1: to do that?

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Speaker 2: What? She didn't care. The amazing shop assistant managed to

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Speaker 2: get her mom to come later that afternoon to see

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Speaker 2: the dress, but for me, everything was tainted with grief.

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Speaker 2: Cried the whole afternoon when I got home. As the

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Speaker 2: wedding approached, my sister decided that our grandmother, who was

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Speaker 2: in a wheelchair and not well, had to be there.

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Speaker 2: She told her aunt, who lived with Granny, that Granny

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Speaker 2: should come, but without inviting the rest of the family.

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Speaker 2: My aunt, who is sharp as a knife, wasn't having it.

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Speaker 2: She told my sister, if you want Granny there, you'll

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Speaker 2: have her, but wear my and nephews and nieces aren't welcome.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going, so it's up to you. This, of course,

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Speaker 2: enraged my sister. Somehow everything was suddenly my fault. Family

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Speaker 2: members started calling me to brak me for my sister

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Speaker 2: not inviting them. Apparently it was my job to fix

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Speaker 2: the situation, as if I had any say in it.

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Speaker 2: I cried myself to sleep every night. The stress drove

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Speaker 2: me into depression. The wedding day arrived, I had an

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Speaker 2: excruciating backache from the stress and was on medication. I

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Speaker 2: only managed to attend the ceremony at the town hall.

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Speaker 2: When my mom arrived with Granny, we realized there was

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Speaker 2: no accessible entrance. My ESSO and other guests had to

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Speaker 2: carry Granny's wheelchair up a long flight of stairs. On

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Speaker 2: the bride side, only my parents, Granny, me, my ESSO,

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Speaker 2: and my two kids sat. Meanwhile, the groom side was

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Speaker 2: act around one twenty guests. It was the saddest wedding

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Speaker 2: I've ever attended. My mom and I cried through the

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Speaker 2: entire event.

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Speaker 1: What if that's the disparity? Don't separate the wedding party? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? If one party has eight people

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Speaker 1: the other has one hundred and twenty, just make them

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Speaker 1: all sit together?

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Speaker 2: Why would you do that?

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. It's one of the craziest things I've ever heard.

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Speaker 2: After the ceremony, my ESSO realized there must be a

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Speaker 2: disabled entrance. He contacted the police, who were authorized to

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Speaker 2: open it so Granny could leave safely without risk of falling.

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Speaker 2: The restaurant was another nightmare. Stairs everywhere, strangers helping us

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Speaker 2: carry Granny in, and no accessible bathroom By the end

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Speaker 2: of the meal, Granny was exhausted and I couldn't take

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Speaker 2: it anymore. We decided to leave before the party began,

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Speaker 2: and that's how my sister's wedding became one of the

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Speaker 2: most painful experiences of my life. Running forward in time,

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Speaker 2: about a year after, our granny was getting very ill

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Speaker 2: and my awesome sister was pregnant. By November, Granny, now

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Speaker 2: ninety six, was not fighting anymore, and I was at

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Speaker 2: the hospital saying my goodbyes. Out of nowhere, my eldest

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Speaker 2: cousin began to shout at me because of my sister,

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Speaker 2: as if I was one responsible for getting her there.

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Speaker 2: This is why your sister doesn't want these people to come.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they're just freaking.

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Speaker 1: Is this the cousin that she was like trying to

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Speaker 1: be like, yeah, well you don't want this person around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe this cousin freaking.

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Speaker 1: But like being she faced with grief, like right in

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Speaker 1: front of your face and like someone passing away, it's

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Speaker 1: like it's going to stress you out. Sure, but this

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Speaker 1: the directing anger.

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Speaker 2: No, but this will happened with the wedding where everyone

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Speaker 2: was calling ope and like blaming Opee for not being invited.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like maybe just this family cot. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think the sister also, but like seems like also

429
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Speaker 2: the family. I told her to call her herself because

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Speaker 2: I wasn't going to deal with her anymore. Her excuse

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00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 2: for not being there was that her now husband was

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Speaker 2: quite worried for her bs. The day our granny passed away.

433
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: As she arrived at the funeral parlor, our father tried

434
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,959
Speaker 2: to hug us both that being said out loud, don't

435
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 2: get me close to that so that she doesn't infect me.

436
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 2: That was me, as you can imagine. I could barely

437
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 2: contain myself, but thanks to one of my mom's friends,

438
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: I was taken away. Otherwise maybe today I would have

439
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 2: ended up in jail. A month and a half later,

440
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 2: she was due to give birth, and when she got

441
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 2: to the hospital, she didn't tell me anything, neither her

442
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 2: her her husband, nor our parents. But the next morning

443
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 2: my mom called me to berate me because I wasn't there.

444
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 2: I lived three hours away, so it wasn't easy for

445
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 2: me to drop everything and leave it that moment. I

446
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,439
Speaker 2: tried to explain myself, but it didn't mean anything, because

447
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 2: my duty was to be there and I wasn't. I

448
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 2: talked to her explain my situation, promising that I would

449
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,960
Speaker 2: be there for her during the weekend. She seemed to

450
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 2: be okay with it, but then two days later, my

451
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 2: ESSO received a phone call from her husband berating us

452
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 2: because we weren't there and his wife was crying herself

453
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 2: to sleep over it. He accused us of awful things

454
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 2: that weren't true, and at the end of the shouting match,

455
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,439
Speaker 2: he told us that from now on, we are not

456
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,239
Speaker 2: welcome at his house by any means. I had a

457
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 2: panic attack and my blood pressure skyrocketed. I ended up

458
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 2: in the hospital because my nose wouldn't stop bleeding.

459
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: Dang what you can go to the hospital for that?

460
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 2: I mean, it doesn't stop bleeding.

461
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 1: What I'm googling that right now? That's insane.

462
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,120
Speaker 2: The next days were dreadful. Every time the phone rang,

463
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 2: it was some family member berating me because I was

464
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 2: the worst sister in the world, too full of pride

465
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 2: to swallow it and meet my niece every day and

466
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 2: night for months. At the next family gathering, she made

467
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 2: her grand entrance with her baby and put her in

468
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 2: my arm so that I could meet her. In her magnanimity,

469
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 2: she was the one who cared. I took the baby,

470
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: but couldn't even look at her. I gave her to

471
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 2: myso and ran into the bathroom, where I had a

472
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 2: panic attack. My godfather's wife saw me run and followed

473
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: to help me back to my feet. She let me

474
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: cry myself out, cleaned my face, and repaired my makeup.

475
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 2: She was in my corner. She told me that she

476
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: saw everything I did to try and make things right.

477
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: That gave me some peace. Somebody had seen that I

478
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 2: was struggling. From that day on, everything revolved around her

479
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 2: and her baby. It seemed like she was the only

480
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: woman in the world who had ever had a baby.

481
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: What do you do these people? If they're going to

482
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 1: continue to blame you for behavior that doesn't have anything

483
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: to do with you, it's your sister, Like I don't know,

484
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: stop you cut them out a little bit, Stop feeling

485
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 1: responsible for it, Stop responding to claims or calls for

486
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 1: you to be responsible for your sister, and bring it

487
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 1: up to them, Like you know, I think it's usually

488
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 1: better to like have a discussion or a conversation or

489
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: a group text with the involved family members about like

490
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: what you feel is being done wrong and like what

491
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 1: should change, and then if nothing happens, cut them off.

492
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 2: Cut them off, because if they're all behaving this way,

493
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 2: it's just like, you don't need that in your life.

494
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,120
Speaker 2: You need to go to these events where you get

495
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 2: you have a panic attack. If you're having a panic

496
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: attack around these people, like every time you see them,

497
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: there's nothing keeping you there. That's good.

498
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: Prioritize your own peace.

499
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 2: Then the VID arrived. Since I lived far away due

500
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 2: to the restrictions, I couldn't be with my family for

501
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 2: over a year. It helped me to heal and to

502
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: lose almost sixty pounds, so I was healthier than ever before.

503
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:37,120
Speaker 1: I was feeling.

504
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: Awesome, more calm, more confident, more everything. The first time

505
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 2: we saw each other again, I wasn't looking as bad

506
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 2: as before. The moment she saw me, she blurted out,

507
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 2: Oh crap, you mother, effart your south Slam. I can't

508
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 2: mess with you. That's insane of a thing to say.

509
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: But I wonder if that's what she was saying, don't

510
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: infect me with.

511
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,880
Speaker 1: You know, like nosebleed.

512
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was gonna say, like the body shaming stuff.

513
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know, maybe that was another body shaming comment.

514
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 2: Now that she couldn't do that. She tried to mess

515
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 2: with me in other ways, like telling me what a

516
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: bad mother I was because I wasn't forcing my little

517
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 2: shy daughter to hug her or making my son call

518
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: her auntie. He had started calling her by her name.

519
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 2: He's smart, so he knew something was off that having

520
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 2: behavior went on and on, body shaming me, making comments

521
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 2: about my looks and so on. After that, I decided

522
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: to have low contact so I could manage my feelings

523
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 2: and emotions and control my increasing lack of patience, and

524
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 2: somehow I managed. Until last year, I decided to spend

525
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 2: a short school holiday at my parents' house so my

526
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,439
Speaker 2: now teenage children could be with them. It had been

527
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 2: a very long year with a lot of work stress.

528
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 2: I told my father that this weekend, I didn't want

529
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: him to call my sister or anyone else. I just

530
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 2: wanted it to be the five of us. I wanted

531
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 2: to spend some time alone with them. That Friday, my

532
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: son had a high fever, so I spent the night

533
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: watching him and trying to keep his temperature as low

534
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 2: as possible. At around six am, I finally fell asleep.

535
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 2: Not long after, at about eight thirty my father woke

536
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 2: me up to tell me that my sister and her

537
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 2: children were coming for lunch. When your child is a

538
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 2: high fever.

539
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: That's the best time.

540
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: Didn't she literally just say like, I don't want you

541
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: to have infect me as you both get infected. It's

542
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 2: the bitch, I'm when the child it has one hundred

543
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 2: and five.

544
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: Fever adds a nice little zest to the meal.

545
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 2: I thought it was just messing with me, but nope,

546
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 2: they were coming, and according to him, it was his

547
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: house and he could invite whomever he wanted and he

548
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 2: didn't need my permission. I was exhausted and argued back,

549
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 2: saying that I could just take my kids and leave

550
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 2: if he wasn't going to listen or care. I know

551
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 2: I was too much, but I hadn't slept more than

552
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: two hours and wasn't in the mood. But I stayed

553
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 2: and tried to be nice. That night was the same

554
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 2: as before, taking care of my son and barely sleeping

555
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: in an easy chair. The next morning, what of my

556
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 2: cousins called my mom her brother my uncle was very

557
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: ill in the hospital and they didn't think he was

558
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 2: going to survive much longer. He ran to the hospital

559
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 2: to be with him. He wasn't doing well, so after

560
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 2: the visit, due to my lack of sleep, I went

561
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 2: back to my parents' house to be with my kids.

562
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 2: Now they were both ill the next time, I decided

563
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 2: to go back home so the doctor could check on them.

564
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 2: On Monday, my husband needed urgent surgery, so my father

565
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 2: had to come to my house to take care of

566
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 2: my children. While my mother was at the hospital with

567
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: her brother and I was at another hospital with my

568
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 2: husband will MYESO was in surgery. My sweet sister called

569
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 2: me sobbing and crying, knowing full well that I was

570
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 2: alone in a hospital an hour and a half away

571
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: from anyone, to tell me that my uncle had passed away.

572
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 2: She was screaming, so I hung up. Why was she screaming?

573
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: How people do weird things?

574
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 2: Well, I'm wondering, is she screaming like out of.

575
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 1: Like I was just distressing. She's screaming at op And

576
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: if that is the case, what are you doing? Why

577
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 1: are you screaming at her? She's got her own stuff

578
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 1: in the hospital.

579
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 2: I had a meltdown and a panic attack. I called

580
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,120
Speaker 2: my mom and she got scared because she thought something

581
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 2: going to happen. To my SOO. As I later found out,

582
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 2: she told everyone not to call me because my ESSO

583
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 2: was in surgery and I was alone. But my sister

584
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: knew better she had a duty to let me know

585
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 2: even when she was told not to. The rest of

586
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 2: the afternoon was a blur, so it was okay that

587
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't. I was devastated. The days that followed were awful,

588
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: and things kept piling up. We lost another pair of grandparents,

589
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 2: another uncle, a friend of my husband. Then one of

590
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: my best friend's moms passed away, and then one of

591
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 2: her sisters. Wow, it was a horrible year, but it

592
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 2: was far from over. My niece's birthday was coming, and

593
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,919
Speaker 2: three days before I had a very bad reaction to

594
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 2: a medicine. I had to be in the hospital for

595
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: three days with lots of digestive problems, but I made

596
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 2: it and went to her moms for the celebration. I

597
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 2: was in a horrible physical state, so I could hardly

598
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: eat anything, and my tummy became inflamed, making me feel

599
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 2: even worse.

600
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: I see you, I know exactly what that was, Oh Pee.

601
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 2: I think this Obviously your family's been really really awful.

602
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 2: But I think at a certain point that you need

603
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 2: to prioritize yourself and not go to these things. If

604
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 2: you are not feeling well, don't go. You don't deserve

605
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: to be treated poorly just because they say, like you know,

606
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 2: you're someone's having a birthday, you don't have to go.

607
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 2: If you were sick, don't go. Think a little bit

608
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 2: of low contact, maybe no contact with some of these

609
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 2: people is needed. This mother, ever, began to mess with

610
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 2: my looks and smirk and laughed and laughed. I told

611
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: her that this behavior was not funny, that she was

612
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 2: body shaming me, and that it was nothing to laugh about.

613
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: I was fed up and left exhausted driving my two

614
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 2: hour journey back home, so I decided to turn low

615
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 2: contact into even less contact good. Last November, my father's mom,

616
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 2: ninety five, was hospitalized, very ill and not expected to

617
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 2: live more than the next twenty four to forty eight hours.

618
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: I packed my things and drove home to be there.

619
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: The first day. We talked and she seemed genuinely sad

620
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: and hurt. I told her that she didn't have to worry.

621
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 2: I had her back and she could do whatever she

622
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: felt was best for her. We didn't have a wonderful

623
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: relationship with this granny. She thanked me and left for

624
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: her house. I spent the next five days at the

625
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 2: hospital taking care of her father's mom. I called my

626
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: sister every day to check on her and update her

627
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: on what was going on. I was feeling great. It

628
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 2: seemed like granny's situation had brought us to a place

629
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: where we could share as sisters and not as enemies. Miraculously,

630
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: she survived and everything went back to normal.

631
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: Wow, okay, breaking the trend.

632
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's especially the ninety five year old.

633
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: Like, that's crazy. That is crazy.

634
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 2: I called my sister is to explain the situation because

635
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: I had to get back home and needed her to

636
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 2: stay in touch with our parents for their needs. She

637
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 2: thanked me, and then she started crying, saying she was

638
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: thankful that we managed to get over our sister problems

639
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 2: with her wedding. Then she said she had already forgiven

640
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,919
Speaker 2: me for everything I did. I was driving home and

641
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 2: couldn't believe my ears. This mother eff had been efing

642
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 2: me around for the last sixteen years, and she's forgiving me.

643
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 2: I told her it would be better if she shut

644
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: her upping mouth, because sixteen years later, she was still

645
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 2: reminding me of how she made my whole life, and

646
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: yet I was the one in the wrong. I told

647
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 2: her to hang up and that we would talk later.

648
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 2: I had to call one of my cousins to calm

649
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 2: me down. I was in the middle of nowhere, driving,

650
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 2: crying and trying not to have an accident. It took

651
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: me four hours to do a two and a half

652
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 2: hour drive. I hated myself. I was so effing a

653
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 2: forty six year old woman crying like a child in

654
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 2: the middle of the road, sitting on some random pavement, breathless.

655
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: Dang okay, well, I will say. Part of me is like, yeah, whatever,

656
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 1: you just take that. She's like, I'm so glad we

657
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: could work through the issues. You're like, yeah, sure, whatever,

658
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: we work through them. I don't care. You're and sixteen

659
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: years of history showed me that I don't want anything

660
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: to do with you anyway, So go ahead and feel

661
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: like you everything's solved. I don't care. But then the

662
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: other half of me knows that sometimes people say that

663
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: one sentence to you, yeah, well, and that's all it takes.

664
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: Like they say the right secrets of words and you go,

665
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: hold on. I know you didn't just say that right.

666
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: Which is what it feels like, because it felt like

667
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 2: this whole story. Ope is like, that's fine. I'm angry,

668
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: but I'm just keeping it in. I'm gonna keep it

669
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: in it And then she says those words, and I'll

670
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: feel like da. Christmas arrived and at the present exchange,

671
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: she gave myso a bottle of tequila. I thought, what

672
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: a thoughtful gift, but no, it wasn't. It was a

673
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 2: poisoned dart. At a certain point during lunch, she whispered

674
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: so that no one else get that the tequila was

675
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: from her wedding, that she had bought it for us,

676
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: and because we left, she had kept it for sixteen years.

677
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe what this entitled brat had done, and said.

678
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 2: Three weeks ago it was my father's birthday, now seventy four.

679
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,479
Speaker 2: While we were there, my parents told us that to

680
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 2: celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, they had decided the best way

681
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 2: was to go on a cruise, just the four of us.

682
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: Don't go on this cruise. On the cruise, don't go

683
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 2: on a trip where you can't escape. My anxiety rocketed.

684
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 2: I told them I would look for dates because I

685
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: couldn't think of anything better to say than a direct no.

686
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: A week later, she came by my house unexpectedly, and

687
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 2: as we were talking, she asked if I had already

688
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 2: looked for dates. I couldn't take it anymore and I

689
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: blew up. My verbal diarrhea wasn't very coherent. I was

690
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: sobbing the whole time and couldn't catch my breath. Dang girl,

691
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: I really Okay again, your family is issign your fault.

692
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 2: You should go to therapy.

693
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: Yes, also, yes, big time go therapy.

694
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 2: By the way, you should rush to listen to full

695
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 2: episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple,

696
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: par I Guess, or your favorite podcasts up and search

697
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: a Pogey story time.

698
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: Yes, do this and things really happen anyway. There's a

699
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: little bit left to this story. Okay, let's finish it off.

700
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,479
Speaker 2: I explained that it was my fault because through everything

701
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 2: I never told her anything. I didn't want our parents

702
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: to suffer in any way, but I was exhausted. My

703
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 2: mom told me not to worry about the cruise. She

704
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: said that we needed to have a talk because there

705
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 2: were things that needed to be solved, so she would

706
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: find a day for it. So Would I be the

707
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: ale if I don't want to solve anything. Would I

708
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 2: be the ale if I just want to have nothing

709
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: to do with her?

710
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: So to your family, Yes, in reality though, now what

711
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: like your family's going to be like you can you're

712
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: the worst, and you blah blah you you you, and

713
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: but like in reality you can just be like, nope,

714
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: I'll be on my line. I think this person's not

715
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: going to change. Guess what. At the end of the day,

716
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: it is for you.

717
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 3: You don't need to do anything else for these people.

718
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 2: The only thing I was going to say is op,

719
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: he's having this conversation with her mom. Her mom said,

720
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: let's have a conversation, let's.

721
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: Talk about it.

722
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 2: I kind of think you should have that converse. That

723
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: isn't to say that you need have any sort of

724
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: contact with your sister or the rest of your family,

725
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 2: but I think you should tell your mom what's going on.

726
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: I think you could say, hey, this is how I've

727
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 2: been treated. I have no desire to have a relationship

728
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 2: with my sister. If that's what you wanted to talk about,

729
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 2: I'm not here for it. But it seems like your

730
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 2: mom didn't say let's have a conversation and sort out

731
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 2: your relationship with her sister. She just said, there are

732
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: things that need to be solved, but that is the

733
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: end of that story.

734
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: Is it for that?

735
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 4: Though?

736
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're going to

737
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

738
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. My sister in law dictates everyone

739
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: for the family holidays, and I finally spoke my mind.

740
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: Well, you know what they do with dictators.

741
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: They pushed their statues down. My thirty five male brother

742
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: thirty four male got married six years ago. After the wedding,

743
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: his wife, thirty female, insisted on hosting all family holidays

744
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: to include her family as well as my brothers. This

745
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: seemed logical at first. I felt she was just trying

746
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: to include everyone so she wouldn't have to split her

747
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 1: holiday between the two families. By the way, this comes

748
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: from user Mander's thirty six and if you want to

749
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: submit your stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suburdit.

750
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: So the first year, we agreed and she presented us

751
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: with assignments, including what she wanted each of us to bring. Now,

752
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: it's typical for guests to bring something or at least

753
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 1: offer to, but these were specific assignments with the stipulation

754
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: that your invite would be revoked if you didn't agree

755
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: to follow through. She assigned my mother to cook an

756
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: entire turkey with sides and bring it on Thanksgiving Day.

757
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: My mother wasn't just making the turkey dinner, she also

758
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: had to pack it up hot and transport it. My

759
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: younger brother thirty mail, and I, who are not married

760
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: and typically attend alone, were also given assignments. These included

761
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: the exact items to bring, the brands, the quantity, and

762
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: the amount to spend. Both my younger brother and I

763
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,240
Speaker 1: voiced our opinions about this at first, but we ended

764
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: up following through just to keep the peace. Fast forward

765
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: five years and this has been happening for every Thanksgiving, Christmas,

766
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: and Easter. This past weekend, my mother invited both of

767
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 1: my brothers and me over for Sunday dinner. Thanksgiving is

768
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: coming up, and towards the end of the dinner, my

769
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 1: sister in law announces are invite for Thanksgiving while pulling

770
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,839
Speaker 1: up her notes on her phone from previous years. So

771
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 1: she starts assigning items to my mother, my brother, and me.

772
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: I tell her I'm too busy this year, and that

773
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: I'll bring wine or beer, but I cannot cook or

774
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 1: prepare anything. She huffs, turns to my brother, her husband,

775
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 1: and starts discussing how much certain types of wine cost

776
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: per bottle and how many I should be purchasing. At

777
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 1: this point, I'm already mad that she completely dismissed what

778
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: I said as I listened to her discussed costs. I

779
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,479
Speaker 1: sternly and directly tell her that if it's coming down

780
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: to money, I don't want to come. And she turns

781
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: to me and says, you know the f what vanders

782
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: thirty SI.

783
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: You'll need to effing come.

784
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: Then I look at her and say, well that settles that.

785
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 1: My poor mom and dad both look at each other concerned.

786
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: My mother asks her not to curse, and sister in

787
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: law gets up and leaves the house. My brother grabs

788
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: his daughter and starts to leave after her. I apologize

789
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: to him, and he tells me that he spends a

790
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: lot of time and money hosting the holidays and that

791
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: it wouldn't hurt me to bring whatever his wife wants.

792
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 1: After they leave, I talk it through with my other

793
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: brother and my parents. They agree I'm not wrong, but

794
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: say I could have handled it differently. I agree, though

795
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: I'm still mad. This was a long time coming. I

796
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,800
Speaker 1: go home and sleep on it, and in the morning

797
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: I text sister in law. The following sister in law,

798
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry the situation escalated the way it did last night.

799
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been so blunt. I could have found

800
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 1: a nicer way to tell you that I don't like

801
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: or feel comfortable being told what to spend or bring.

802
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: I don't mind being asked, but explicitly told what to

803
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: bring or how much I should spend feels like more

804
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: like an assignment than an invite. In past instances, I've

805
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: mentioned that I don't like this, but have never properly

806
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: conveyed my feelings on the subject. That's my fault. It's

807
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: my opinion that any contribution should be voluntary and not

808
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: an ultimatum for being invited. I don't like how that

809
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: makes me feel. Invite me simply because you want to

810
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: include me and for no other reason. My presence is

811
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: your presence. Otherwise, it's okay not to allow me the

812
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: opportunity to offer to bring something before telling me to

813
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: do so. The time and money that goes into hosting

814
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 1: a holiday is not lost on me. If you want

815
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 1: or need help, I don't mind you reaching out, but

816
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 1: I ask that you do so in an honest way

817
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: that doesn't inflict guilt or obligation. Allow me my own

818
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,760
Speaker 1: discretion without any preconceived expectations.

819
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 2: That was pretty flip fluffy.

820
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,839
Speaker 1: This is all way too much putting that out there.

821
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 1: I don't know, this is way too much. This is burke. Hey, uh,

822
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: in the future, just can I can I bring what

823
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: I want to bring to Thanksgiving?

824
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 2: And then but also just like that the way that

825
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,399
Speaker 2: he'll be his writing, This is kind of annoying me

826
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 2: because they're like, don't tell me to bring something, ask

827
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: me to bring something, and be honest that you need

828
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: me to bring Like it's too much, just say like

829
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 2: just say, hey, you were a little bit rude when

830
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 2: you ask, Like that's the problem here. It's just the rudeness.

831
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it's normal to.

832
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 2: Ask people to bring things to Thanksgiving.

833
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: That's I apologize for my indiscretion and lack of communication.

834
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: Amanda's thirty six. I receive this back.

835
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: All right, all right, let's see by Amander's thirty six,

836
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry that asking you to bring something specific

837
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 2: that costs less than the amount of food you consume.

838
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: Bothers you to be honest. I hand out assignments because

839
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 1: you and younger brother never offer right away, and I'm

840
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 1: afraid that you'll wait until the day before to ask

841
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 1: and it will be too late because husband and I

842
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: have already spent the money now on. You can just

843
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: bring yourself and I will not ask you for anything.

844
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: Thank you for letting me know so explicitly how much

845
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 1: you can't stand the way I choose to host parties

846
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: at my house Next time. Instead of getting mad, you

847
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: could always just try to talk to me about it

848
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: and not make a scene in front of your whole

849
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: family and embarrass me. Sorry again, both of these people suck.

850
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: I agree they both suck. I think I'm on the

851
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 2: everyone's the a hole here because I think op doesn't

852
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 2: know what a normal Thanksgiving is like, and also the

853
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 2: sister in law is an ale.

854
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: Opie says, I know I could have been more polite

855
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: or communicated my feelings better. As I admitted in my apology,

856
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 1: we never offer because we've always been assigned things to

857
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 1: make or bring a month in advance. I'm also not

858
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: concerned with the amount of money. It's about being dictated

859
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: how much I'm required to spend just to attend the

860
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: holidays with my family. I also have Celiac disease and

861
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 1: can't eat most of what's served. It's medically not possible

862
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: for me to consume more food than what I spend

863
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: each year on her requests, I honestly attempted to apologize

864
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 1: and explain how I feel. I'm just looking for others'

865
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: opinions on how they would feel in my situation. How

866
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: would you react? Am I in the wrong or being unreasonable?

867
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: Am I right to feel used?

868
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 3: No?

869
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: If I'm in the wrong, what can I do to

870
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: improve myself? Your opinions are appreciated. Thank you for reading,

871
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: and there's an edit. Just wanted to thank everyone for

872
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 1: their time. I appreciate everyone who shared personal examples, opinions,

873
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: and advice, as well as a couple of laughs. I

874
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: read every reply and did my best to respond to

875
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: many of you. Dealing with family can be delicate. Decisions

876
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: made can have life long effects. She's my sister in law,

877
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: whether I like it or not. I love my brother

878
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 1: no matter who he married. I take a lot of

879
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 1: your comments to heart. The various personal anecdotes and points

880
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: of view were beyond helpful. I may not be joining

881
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 1: them for Thanksgiving, but I will do what I need

882
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,919
Speaker 1: to maintain my relationship with my brother and avoid any

883
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: unnecessary conflict with sister in law that only makes his

884
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: life more difficult. Take it easy, Reddit, thank you and

885
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: hear that we do have an update. But before we get.

886
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 2: Into it, I still think that OPI didn't approach it great,

887
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: but I think that maybe could she could have a

888
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 2: convert or they could have a conversation with the sister

889
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,720
Speaker 2: in law and be like, hey, I'm going to bring

890
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 2: a gluten free option that like that can be my

891
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 2: and I'll bring some drinks if you need them, but

892
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,479
Speaker 2: like that's my contribution. Yeah, did it to be clear,

893
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: Crella definitely an a hole?

894
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just think that Opie.

895
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 2: Could both approach this differently and also is just the

896
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 2: way that they are wording their complaints doesn't make too

897
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 2: much sense to me.

898
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,360
Speaker 1: Uh here's the update, just to give all you fine

899
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: folks a quick update. After venting to a couple of

900
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: close friends and one of my closest cousins, I ended

901
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 1: up with three invites for Thanksgiving. I'll be spending the

902
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 1: holiday with friends, and if time allows, also visiting my

903
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: extended family. An attempt to talk to my brother has

904
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 1: gone nowhere. Unfortunately, I'm told I'm looking at this only

905
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,720
Speaker 1: from my perspective and that her actions are justified because

906
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,479
Speaker 1: I embarrassed her in front of my parents and made

907
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 1: her uncomfortable. Question Mark question mark question mark question mark

908
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:22,760
Speaker 1: question mark question mark question mark.

909
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: I am embarrassed her in front of my parents and

910
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: made run comfortable.

911
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 1: What was so embarrassing though, I don't remember, honestly, you know.

912
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: What I do remember is that you can listen to

913
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: full episodes with stories like this. All you have to

914
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 1: do is go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or Spotify

915
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,919
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcasts and search Okay, story time,

916
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: and there you will find every single episode you could

917
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,399
Speaker 1: ever listen to of this show. We have a little

918
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: bit more story left, Okay. Yeah, I just removed myself

919
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,280
Speaker 1: from the situation as best as I could. My parents

920
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: are upset that I won't be there, but they understand,

921
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 1: as I've had quite a few long conversations with my

922
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: father about the situation. Anyways, thanks again for all your

923
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: advice and time. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and we have some comments.

924
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: Number one, I don't think your sister in law understands

925
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: what the word host means. It means whomever is hosting

926
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: the meal pays for it and cooks it in its entirety.

927
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 1: That is not true. That is crazy.

928
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 2: That's not water. Okay, maybe it's because I have a

929
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 2: really large family, but you do. I mean, like, when

930
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 2: you're hosting, you are cooking a lot of it.

931
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: But in its entirety is crazy. It's like if people

932
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: pitch in, people bring stuff.

933
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 2: Come on, they at any dinner, not even just a Thanksgiving.

934
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: I feel like anytime someone's like, hey, do you want

935
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 2: me to bring drinks?

936
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 1: Yes, it's expensive, and yes in most families in my experience,

937
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: the food prep is often shared amongst several people, but

938
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,320
Speaker 1: that's typically on a voluntary basis. So you just you're.

939
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 4: Just describing your one unique situation mcly, Just like negated,

940
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 4: what you started with your family is being volun told

941
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 4: by your sister in law and she expects everyone to

942
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 4: pay for their plates.

943
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: A WTF. That's a tacky concept at weddings, and it's

944
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: just as tacky at a family holiday meal. I agree

945
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: with PPS that it's time to talk things over with

946
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: your own immediate family and start hosting your own holiday dinners.

947
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: Sister in law will just have to figure out how

948
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: to navigate two family dinners on a single holiday, just

949
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 1: like the rest of us do. Come at number two,

950
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: assuming you're describing the exchange between the two of you

951
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: at dinner is unedited. She's the one who flew off

952
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: the handle. She's the one who got angry, stormed out

953
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: and cursed at you. I feel kind of upset about this,

954
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: and I'm not even invited. You probably set a bad

955
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: president by letting it go all those years, But honestly,

956
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 1: I think you're apologizing far more than is necessary, and

957
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: that the candidate story nobody has apologized.

958
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 2: Both of these comments are more than necessary. Oh never, okie,

959
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 2: when I'm sorry that I you know, like did that,

960
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 2: but I'm not actually sorry. And then the sister in

961
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 2: law said, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry, Like those

962
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: are the same apologies I have learned as both a

963
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: host and both as a person who goes to parties.

964
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 2: It's usually, at least in the US, it's usually pretty

965
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: potluck style, unless it's I would say, unless it's for

966
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 2: There are certain cases where the host will do everything.

967
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: I would say, Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get

968
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 1: back to the stories. Put a quick three minute ad

969
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: break from our sponsors that keep the show going.

970
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 2: My mother in law keeps starting pointless arguments.

971
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,320
Speaker 1: So we blocked her blocked.

972
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 2: I had started making this post late last night and

973
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 2: ended up losing everything I wrote, so please bear with me.

974
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 2: It might be a long one. I should also add

975
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 2: this is my first ever post on Reddit. I apologize

976
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 2: but a lack of paragraph breaks. These are the names

977
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 2: I have picked for the few names I will be

978
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 2: using in my story. Karen stepmother in law, Rob, father

979
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,760
Speaker 2: in law, Pickles my now husband. I'm calling him husband.

980
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from my mom. Is not

981
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 2: a watermelo. There's no end, so a watermelo. And if

982
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, got our slashokey

983
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 2: storytime subbured it. So I met the love of my

984
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 2: life Pickles, around five years ago while working as a cashier.

985
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 2: He was picking up his sister, who was one of

986
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 2: my work friends. I know it sounds corny, but it

987
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 2: was love at first sight for the both of us.

988
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 2: We both said hi, and he would come into the

989
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 2: store many times after that just to talk to me.

990
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 2: We never exchanged phone numbers since I was on the

991
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,359
Speaker 2: clock and he didn't want to scare me off, so

992
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 2: we would always talk and then leave things at that.

993
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 2: That is until I found out we had the same

994
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 2: mutual friend. This friend had a private story on Snapchat

995
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 2: that all his friends could view and post on, so

996
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 2: I decided to post and congratulate him on his graduation.

997
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: Within ten minutes of posting, I got a friend request.

998
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 2: Since his name is semi popular in my mind, I

999
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 2: was saying, saying, please, let this be the right guy.

1000
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 2: Then I added him back. Within a few seconds, he

1001
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 2: sent me a snap and it was indeed the man

1002
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: I was looking for. We started talking, and after the

1003
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 2: first few hours of texting back and forth, he asked

1004
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 2: me if he could take me somewhere. I excitedly agreed.

1005
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,280
Speaker 2: We went out to climb on top of a building

1006
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 2: that everyone in my town calls the Bowl, to stargaze

1007
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 2: and talk about our lives, then ended the night sharing

1008
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 2: our first kiss. I had met his family prior when

1009
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 2: I dropped his sister off at home after her shift.

1010
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 2: Since we both got off at the same time and

1011
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 2: it wasn't too far out of my way home. She

1012
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 2: invited me in and I met Rob, her four siblings,

1013
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: her grandma, three dogs including Duke, one cat, my husband's,

1014
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 2: and of course Karen. Now please don't judge me for this,

1015
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 2: but when I met Karen, I thought she was Rob's

1016
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: attracted to the same gender sister. I say this because

1017
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,280
Speaker 2: she had a blonde pixie haircut with faded blue, pink

1018
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: and purple hair dye, and was wearing a rainbow Tye

1019
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 2: T shirt. I was honestly shocked when they told me

1020
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 2: they were married. She was extremely nice at first, but

1021
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 2: after a while her masks started lifting and she showed

1022
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 2: her true colors. I just want to put this out

1023
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 2: here that Rob is an absolute angel, and I don't

1024
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 2: know how he puts out with Karen. After about a

1025
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 2: year of dating Pickles, I had some family issues and

1026
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 2: it ended up coming up in a conversation with the family.

1027
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: Rob and Karen both told me to come live with

1028
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 2: them and to move my stuff into their home since

1029
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 2: they understood what those specific family issues were like. After

1030
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 2: them constantly telling me things would be better if I

1031
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: just moved in, I eventually did, but not without showing

1032
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 2: my appreciation by cooking cleaning and helping out financially. It

1033
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 2: wasn't long before Karen started yelling, berating, and belittling the

1034
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 2: kids in front of me. She always had a minimum

1035
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 2: to things to complain and get angry about in a day,

1036
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 2: whether it be someone leaving a toothbrush on the sink

1037
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 2: in the bathroom or a towel falling off the rack.

1038
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 2: But I continued to live there, thinking maybe she was

1039
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 2: just having a week or just wasn't a good month.

1040
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,240
Speaker 2: She's just having a bad.

1041
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 1: Quarter, you know, just having a bad half a year.

1042
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 2: She's just having a bad decade.

1043
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh, she's been a bad millennium.

1044
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 2: About a year later, Pickles popped the big question in

1045
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 2: front of all his family at their get together on

1046
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 2: Christmas Eve. They were all in on it. Not even

1047
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 2: five minutes later after I told him I would marry him,

1048
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 2: Karen opened her big mouth and said.

1049
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,720
Speaker 5: When are we having the wedding? What theme are we thinking?

1050
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,919
Speaker 5: Ooh we should do this, we should do that, blah

1051
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 5: blah blah. I had no idea he was going to

1052
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 5: propose to me five minutes prior, and now we need

1053
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 5: to start planning immediately. Calm down. We did end up

1054
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 5: sitting down and planning the wedding, setting our wedding date

1055
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 5: for September of twenty twenty three. Karen then asked me

1056
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 5: if she could plan the wedding and said both she

1057
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 5: and Rob wanted to pay for it. I asked her

1058
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 5: multiple times if she was sure, and she assured me

1059
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 5: she wanted to do everything and pay for it. Both

1060
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 5: Pickles and I agree, but only if they were sure.

1061
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 5: Keep in mind this was a small budget wedding, especially

1062
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 5: since we didn't want them to have to pick raise

1063
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 5: the amount of money on this. This becomes important later.

1064
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 5: Some time passed and Pickles and I decided we wanted

1065
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 5: to start a family together, but under one condition we

1066
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 5: would be out of the house before the baby was born,

1067
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 5: and here after we found out I was pregnant. We

1068
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 5: told the family about five days later with painted T

1069
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 5: shirts that said I'm gonna be a mom mine, I'm

1070
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 5: gonna be a dad Pickles, I'm gonna be a grandma Karen's,

1071
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,399
Speaker 5: and I'm gonna be a Grandpa Rob's. We had Rob

1072
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 5: and Karen close their eyes while my husband's aunt and

1073
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 5: uncle put their T shirts on them as we changed

1074
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 5: into ours. Once everyone had their T shirts on, we

1075
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 5: had them turn around and open their eyes. The first

1076
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 5: words out of Karen's mouth were, no, wonder you were

1077
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 5: being such a witch.

1078
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:50,879
Speaker 2: I knew it right after you just found out that

1079
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 2: she's gonna have a child.

1080
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: You couldn't help yourself for one moment, Karen, not for

1081
00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:58,760
Speaker 1: one second.

1082
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 2: Both Pickles and I exchanged what the f glances at

1083
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: each other, but didn't say anything until we were somewhere private.

1084
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,320
Speaker 2: He later told me that, if anything, I was acting

1085
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 2: happier than normal and wasn't being witchy in any way,

1086
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,919
Speaker 2: shape or form. Fast forward about a month or so later,

1087
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 2: and my morning sickness was absolutely unbearable. Remember how I

1088
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: said they had three dogs, Well, unfortunately I have to

1089
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 2: bring them into this story. Duke is an extremely sweet

1090
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:29,919
Speaker 2: but extremely large dog. I freaking knew it, but who

1091
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 2: wasn't properly outstrained due to everyone in the house being

1092
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 2: out most of the day. The only issue with him

1093
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 2: was that he wasn't potty trained. That and his chronic diarrhea.

1094
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 2: Ohnew Uh. I was the one who cleaned up after

1095
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: him most of the days before and after my workshifts.

1096
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 2: We when he had to go, he would go all

1097
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 2: over the unfinished hardwood flors. Once my morning sickness started

1098
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 2: punting in, I couldn't clean up his fecal matter without

1099
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 2: having to take at least three trips to the bathroom

1100
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 2: in Queen Scoops. Oh, I couldn't even do that without

1101
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 2: being pregnant, so I didn't do as much of the

1102
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 2: cleaning as I used to. One day, Karen started yelling

1103
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,760
Speaker 2: at me, saying that pregnancy wasn't an excuse to be lazy,

1104
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 2: And then I don't do crap around the house, mind you.

1105
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 2: I was still cooking and cleaning the exact same ways before, bathrooms, kitchens, rooms,

1106
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 2: dishes piled up in the sink. The only thing that

1107
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 2: changed was cleaning up dog poop, and even then I

1108
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 2: still cleaned it up most of the time. They have

1109
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 2: three dogs. When one takes a big old dookie, all

1110
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 2: of them take big old dookies. The worst of it

1111
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 2: became more frequent during the one month wedding countdown I

1112
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 2: had found out I was pregnant. In July, one of

1113
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: my closest friends brought bought my dress for me as

1114
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,720
Speaker 2: my wedding gift on Amazon. I picked a one hundred

1115
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:46,000
Speaker 2: and twenty five dollars black horset back dress and absolutely

1116
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 2: loved it. We decided to order a size up just

1117
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 2: in case, since while I was pregnant. When I told

1118
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 2: Karen that I ordered the dress one size up just

1119
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 2: in case, she started screaming.

1120
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: Only a thigh.

1121
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 2: You're gonna have balloon out and you only ordered one

1122
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 2: size up. What's going to happen when the dress comes

1123
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 2: and it doesn't fit you because you're too huge? It

1124
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,439
Speaker 2: would make changes on that dress for you? Who would

1125
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,439
Speaker 2: pay for it? When I was pregnant blah blah blah blah,

1126
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 2: and the rent continue. Keep in mind, I wasn't even

1127
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: showing yet at five months. Our baby was growing close

1128
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 2: to my spine, so I could have even hidden the

1129
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: pregnancy if I wanted to, And due to throwing up

1130
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 2: almost everything I ate, I was losing weight at the

1131
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 2: same time. The dress arrived a week before the wedding,

1132
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: and I was so relieved. It was beautiful, a little

1133
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 2: bit here and there, but it fit and I was

1134
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 2: happy about it. Karen for once had nothing to say,

1135
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 2: probably because my friend had brought the dress to me

1136
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 2: and was there to watch me put it on within

1137
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 2: the week timeframe. Karen would yell belittle and berate me daily.

1138
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 2: I had paid for everything meal related, and we decided

1139
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,280
Speaker 2: to make walking tacos since they're cheap and absolutely delicious.

1140
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 2: Haaren started screaming at me when I told her how

1141
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: much ground beef I was buying, demanding what if that

1142
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,800
Speaker 2: isn't enough? What happens if we run out of food?

1143
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 2: I'm sure not gonna leave the wedding to get it,

1144
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,439
Speaker 2: so you would have to go out to get more.

1145
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 2: You'd have to leave your own wedding because you're stupid

1146
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 2: and didn't think about anyone beside yourself. I was planning

1147
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 2: on getting three ten pound tubes of ground beef. I

1148
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,360
Speaker 2: ended up buying an entire case of ground beef. Thank goodness,

1149
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 2: it was on sale. It was thirty dollars a tube

1150
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 2: when it was normally sixty dollars each. Well, after getting

1151
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 2: the beef, utensil's plates and everything else, I got back

1152
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 2: to the house. My husband was talking with them about

1153
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 2: the wedding. Pickle said we got the food, to which

1154
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 2: I responded, I got the food since I paid for

1155
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: it with my money. When Karen heard that, she jumped

1156
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 2: up and snapped, was that a jab at my son?

1157
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: I responded it was a joke. Well, I didn't find

1158
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:41,240
Speaker 1: it effy funny.

1159
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 2: She screamed, it sounds like you made a jab at

1160
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 2: my son. I protect my son from anything, and I'm

1161
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,839
Speaker 2: gonna do everything it takes to protect him from you.

1162
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 2: I don't even think your marriage is going to last.

1163
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 2: I'd give it a year and you'll be done. I

1164
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 2: was fuming at this point and told her, I have

1165
00:53:57,920 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 2: nothing to prove to you, but every day for the

1166
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 2: rest of my life, I will prove you wrong. She's

1167
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 2: gonna stay with him forever, just to spite you.

1168
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:07,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't do that. That's this is the point where

1169
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 1: you go, Oh, I don't care, Hi, Hi, I don't

1170
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:12,840
Speaker 1: care about you.

1171
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 2: No, this is the point where the steps in and says, mom,

1172
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 2: don't ever freaking say that to my.

1173
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 1: Fiance one hundred percent.

1174
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 2: Then I left the house, went out to my car

1175
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 2: and cried. When I eventually came back inside, there was

1176
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 2: no apology. Your husband needs to step the freak up man.

1177
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 2: The next day, which was the day before the wedding,

1178
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 2: Karen didn't come home from work until later in the day.

1179
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 2: The second she walked in, she asked me if I

1180
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 2: had found a place for daycare. I told her that

1181
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: I had been looking into three places already. He responded,

1182
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 2: three places, only three places. I could make ten phone

1183
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 2: calls and have ten places within fifteen minutes. Dude, the

1184
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 2: baby's not even out yet.

1185
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 1: Relax.

1186
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 2: Oh, and if you can't take care of your child

1187
00:54:56,719 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 2: up to my standard, I'll take your baby away. So

1188
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,319
Speaker 2: that's illegal, that's kidnapping. The baby will stay with me,

1189
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 2: And if you want to take a legal approach, I'll

1190
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 2: call CPS and have your child taken far away from you.

1191
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:09,959
Speaker 2: At least, if I take the baby, you could still

1192
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 2: see it around the house. Dude, what's your husband doing?

1193
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1194
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: Where's your husband? Dude?

1195
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 2: I ran out to my car, crying in front of

1196
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 2: Karen for the first thing she had said to me.

1197
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 2: I sat in the driver's seat and texted my mom,

1198
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 2: telling her that I loved her. She responded with are

1199
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 2: you okay? It was late, it was out of the blue,

1200
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,839
Speaker 2: and things had gotten better between us before I knew it.

1201
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 2: I got a call from my dad and spilled everything

1202
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 2: that had happened within the two years I had been gone.

1203
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,359
Speaker 2: He told me to come home. I told him I couldn't. Yeah,

1204
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 2: because Obie's been living with these people.

1205
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should do though, Oh.

1206
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 2: No, uh. They had paid for the wedding and I

1207
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 2: wanted to marry the love of my life. I told

1208
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,919
Speaker 2: them we could hold off for one more day until

1209
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 2: the wedding.

1210
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 1: Where is pickles, Pickles? What is pickles.

1211
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 2: Doting me down? Pickles is like you either won. You

1212
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,720
Speaker 2: either aren't telling what's happening, which that's also a problem

1213
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 2: because you should be telling your partner the things that

1214
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 2: are making you upset. And also that your parents, his

1215
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:08,760
Speaker 2: parents are threatening to take away your child. That's crazy

1216
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,240
Speaker 2: or too he knows and he's not doing anything.

1217
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a cool move to be like yeah,

1218
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,359
Speaker 1: and if you try to get the law involved them

1219
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 1: calling CPS and having them take your kid away, and

1220
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,640
Speaker 1: it's like, clearly you don't really care about the kid's

1221
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: well being.

1222
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 2: At that point, my parents were at the wedding and

1223
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 2: my dad walked me down the aisle. Everything was perfect,

1224
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 2: like a fairy tale until we went to get our

1225
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 2: wedding party photos. While we were gone, Karen managed to

1226
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 2: start a fight with my husband's real mom by yelling

1227
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: at her daughter for apparently sitting at a table that

1228
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 2: wasn't reserved for you. Mind you, there were no designated

1229
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 2: seating arrangements. We didn't know about this until after the wedding,

1230
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 2: when a few of our friends texted us about it.

1231
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 2: I would have lost my crap at Karen if I

1232
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 2: had known she started drama, especially since we made it

1233
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 2: clear to her and everyone who received a wedding invitation

1234
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 2: that we didn't want any drama and that any drama

1235
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 2: starters would be punted out. I wish I could tell

1236
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 2: you things started to get better after the wedding, but

1237
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 2: that's not the case. If it wasn't us, it was

1238
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 2: always someone else. After we found an apartment, we didn't

1239
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 2: plan to tell Rob or Karen about moving out until

1240
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,800
Speaker 2: the day we were moving out. I just started packing

1241
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,040
Speaker 2: things into boxes and slowly moving them into my parents'

1242
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 2: garage since they told me I could keep them there

1243
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,920
Speaker 2: until we got the keys to the apartment. My husband

1244
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 2: ended up telling them that we were moving out when

1245
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 2: Karen was talking about getting things ready for the baby.

1246
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 2: In the basement, which was where we were stating staying.

1247
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 2: The basement was falling. Apart not to mention if there

1248
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 2: was ever a flash, flood water would come pouring in.

1249
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,920
Speaker 2: There were wolf spiders, everywhere and critters of all kinds.

1250
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 2: Upstairs was no better, with nails sticking out of the

1251
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 2: floorboards from ripping up the carpets. Oh right, the unfinished floors,

1252
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 2: big holes in the wall due to unfinished projects that

1253
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 2: they had started the summer prior, and dry dog poop

1254
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 2: in between the unfinished hardwood.

1255
00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: This is horrific. That's a horrific cows.

1256
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: The dogs had gotten worse but pooping on the floor

1257
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 2: since the two and a half years I had been

1258
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 2: living with them. There was no way we were going

1259
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 2: to stay there with a baby, and the fact that

1260
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: she thought it was okay was delusional. When my husband

1261
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 2: told them, Karen sneered, you two aren't gonna fail on

1262
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 2: your own, and I'm gonna laugh when you come crawling back.

1263
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 1: Dude, I would never talk to you again.

1264
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 2: She would make comments every now and then about how

1265
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 2: we weren't going to make it and that it wasn't

1266
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 2: too late to change our minds. We had already signed

1267
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 2: the lease on the apartment, so obviously it was too late.

1268
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 2: I was so happy we would be yell out of

1269
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 2: that heck hole, out of a house. Move in day came,

1270
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 2: and within the first five minutes, Karen was yelling at

1271
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 2: Rob and things started getting heated. Pickles looked at both

1272
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 2: of them and raised his voice and said, if you

1273
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 2: guys are gonna yell dude at your home, not ours.

1274
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: If we get a noise complaint the first day we

1275
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 2: move in, I'm.

1276
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 1: Gonna be pissed. Okay.

1277
00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 2: Karen was taken aback because he had never talked to

1278
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 2: her like that in his life, because if he did

1279
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 2: in her home, she had control.

1280
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 1: There we go.

1281
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 2: She had absolutely no control in our home.

1282
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 1: That's right, take the control back back, Pickles.

1283
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 2: When everyone finally left, I looked at Pickles and told

1284
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 2: him that that someday Karen was going to start something

1285
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 2: over stupid reasons again and blow up, and when she does,

1286
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 2: I know exactly what I'm going to say to her.

1287
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 2: I will block her and that will be the end

1288
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 2: of things. We both hoped she wouldn't because we both

1289
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 2: honestly cared about her and wanted her to change and

1290
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 2: get better. But eventually the day came and she went crazy.

1291
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 1: The day of reckoning.

1292
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 2: I was two months postpartum at this point and honestly

1293
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 2: didn't need the drama I had sent her and twelve

1294
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 2: other people the same video on Facebook, talking about how

1295
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 2: the time when your baby's little goes by way too fast.

1296
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 2: Eventually they aren't going to be little anymore, and those

1297
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 2: tiny fingerprits scattered all over the windows will disappear. It

1298
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 2: was something showing the importance of enjoying your time with

1299
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 2: your littles while they're still little before they grow up.

1300
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 2: Instead of thinking it was a sweet video, she started

1301
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 2: going crazy, asking me if I was calling her a

1302
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 2: bad mother and saying that this video meant I was

1303
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 2: taking her son away from her. He's a grown adult,

1304
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 2: not a baby. I apologized to her if it gave

1305
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 2: her mixed signals and informed her that I had sent

1306
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 2: the same video to twelve other people. I just thought

1307
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 2: it was a video worth sharing with them. That didn't

1308
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 2: shut her up. It got worse. She yelled at me

1309
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 2: over text and started bringing things up. I countered them

1310
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 2: with more information, which led to another argument. Eventually, she

1311
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 2: started running out of things to bring up, so she

1312
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 2: started getting into extremely personal things just to hurt me.

1313
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 2: I had a miscarriage a couple of months before the

1314
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 2: pregnancy I told you all about. She told me she

1315
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 2: would start sending me videos of people saying it's the

1316
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 2: woman's fault for having a miscarriage, since, according to her,

1317
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 2: I didn't care enough about her feelings. That was the

1318
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 2: last straw, and I went off on her. I'm not

1319
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 2: proud of the language I used, but afterward I felt

1320
01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:00,040
Speaker 2: relieved and then brought up when she told me she

1321
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 2: would take my child away from me, and she completely

1322
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 2: ignored my text. She ran out of excuses, so instead

1323
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:08,840
Speaker 2: she talked with the wedding, how she planned the wedding,

1324
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 2: how she paid for the wedding, how she did this

1325
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 2: for me and that for me. I told her that

1326
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 2: she had asked to do those things, we had never

1327
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 2: once asked her to do them. She assured us that

1328
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 2: it was something that she wanted to do, so we

1329
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 2: let her. She still wasn't understanding the point and kept

1330
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 2: ignoring everything I was calling her out for. So eventually

1331
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 2: I just sat back down and asked myself if she

1332
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 2: was worth this. If she's talking to me this way,

1333
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 2: she will eventually talk to my child that way, and

1334
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 2: I didn't want that to happen. So I told her

1335
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,440
Speaker 2: that she can call me whatever name she would like,

1336
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 2: and that it didn't matter to me anymore. She was

1337
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 2: no longer welcome on our property and we didn't ever

1338
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 2: want to see her again. She has no right to

1339
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: my child, and I told her that I hoped she

1340
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 2: would eventually change, and to disrespectfully go at herself and

1341
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 2: blocked her. By the way, don't block us because you

1342
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: can listen to full episodes stories just like this. Just

1343
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app

1344
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 2: and search a Bookeast story time. But there is a

1345
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 2: little bit left to the story, any final thoughts.

1346
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:13,400
Speaker 1: I think that's something you should do with all the

1347
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: difficult people in your lives. Sometimes you just need a

1348
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 1: moment to sit down and go is this worth it?

1349
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: Is this worth it? Because the reality is it's not

1350
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: always as simple as just cutting someone off right away.

1351
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes you know, there's the politics that go into family

1352
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: and work and life whatever, But you really have to

1353
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 1: sometimes Simmarren Simmeret and just go is this what I want?

1354
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:40,040
Speaker 1: And clearly this person is not worth it, even though

1355
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 1: she's your mother in law. She's terrible, she's a monster,

1356
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: and you and Pickles are better off without her nasty, disgusting,

1357
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 1: dried dog poop life colliding with yours.

1358
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 2: Rob is still in our lives because, as I've said before,

1359
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 2: he is an absolute angel and did nothing wrong to us.

1360
01:02:57,760 --> 01:02:59,920
Speaker 2: But Karen gets jealous and if she can't see her,

1361
01:02:59,920 --> 01:03:03,040
Speaker 2: but he can't either. He still comes over every now

1362
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 2: and then when she's working or is out of the house,

1363
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 2: but part of me can't help but feel awful about

1364
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:09,160
Speaker 2: blocking her.

1365
01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 1: So am I the ale?

1366
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,000
Speaker 2: And edit I added the picture of my wedding dress

1367
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:15,880
Speaker 2: in the comments and that is the end that story.

1368
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 1: So you're not an ale. You just have empathy.

1369
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,840
Speaker 2: You just have sympathy. And I think your husband is

1370
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 2: not an a hole per se, but he is. There

1371
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 2: is a problem there that needs to be addressed.

1372
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 1: Pickle, Yeah, Pickles needs to stop. Pickles needs to be

1373
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 1: a whole deal instead of like a sandwich slice pickle.

1374
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 1: He needs to not be a floppy, floppy, thin pickle.

1375
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 1: He needs to be the big pickles that they put

1376
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: in the bag.

1377
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, because he doesn't have the excuse of saying like, oh, well,

1378
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 2: I couldn't stand up to her because we were living

1379
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 2: with her and she would have kicked us out or

1380
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 2: like anything along those lines. He has their they have

1381
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 2: their own place.

1382
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: Now, so yeah, needs to stand out regardless it needs

1383
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: to be like, you can't ever speak to my partner

1384
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:59,439
Speaker 1: this way. Yeah, and if you do this again, you're

1385
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 1: never gonna see me or our child. Exactly