Speaker 1: Oh, I was watching a video today, this Australian comedy
Speaker 1: Troupe at a video that went viral, and all the
Speaker 1: comments are Americans being like, why aren't you wearing masks
Speaker 1: and that big like because we don't have coronavirus any
Speaker 1: because that's some old ship. Why are you still wearing masks? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Now? If you don't, if you'll
Speaker 1: excuse me, I'm gonna go be mean to my indigenous people.
Speaker 1: It's like we've always meant to be chips in your
Speaker 1: racist money stuff. You can't tell me. Yep, there it is.
Speaker 1: Boom boom, boom boom, there is, Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another phenomenal, devastating episode of My Mama Told Me,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we dive deep deep into the pockets
Speaker 1: and black conspiracy theories and we finally work to prove
Speaker 1: that will I Am goes by the name Bill Me
Speaker 1: for short. That's right, Bill dot me, That's Bill. Do
Speaker 1: you get it? Because William is if Bill is short
Speaker 1: for William. Listen, all of these can't be winners. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you write down stuff about famous black people where you go, well,
Speaker 1: this week is gonna be a stinker. But you know what.
Speaker 1: I'll be back next week and I'll try it again.
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. Eventually, I'll nail it. Listen, we're
Speaker 1: excited to be here. And by where I just may
Speaker 1: mean I'm here alone. But I'm not gonna be alone
Speaker 1: forever because my guests today. Oh, she's amazing. She's a
Speaker 1: I love her. She's hilarious. You guys know her from
Speaker 1: so many cool things. You know her from a Black
Speaker 1: Lady Sketch show, hilarious show on HBO. You know her
Speaker 1: from writing on Ted Lasso. You know from writing on
Speaker 1: the show that I Hold Dear in my Heart. They
Speaker 1: allowed me to show up for a little while on it,
Speaker 1: a show called Bless This Mess. She's hilarious. Please give
Speaker 1: it up for my guests, Miss Ashley, Nicole Black, Everybody,
Speaker 1: how are you? Man? Who knows? I don't know what
Speaker 1: date is? I know as I'm still in my house.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, And and hey, you will be for the
Speaker 1: foreseeable future. Huh how about that? I remember, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you have fond memories of this as well, that there
Speaker 1: was a point where we were all like, when this
Speaker 1: pandemic first started, You're like, you'll probably be done by
Speaker 1: like June, Oh, I remember two weeks we're working. They
Speaker 1: were like, listen, we're gonna take a two week break
Speaker 1: from work. I don't know what everyone's upset about. I
Speaker 1: could use a two week maybe, sweet relief. Nothing could
Speaker 1: go wrong with two weeks. It's like, nah, this is
Speaker 1: gonna be our prison. Uh maybe forever? Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: life now. Yeah, well, if it's gonna be life, I'm
Speaker 1: so pleased that at least in a small moment of
Speaker 1: our now much sadder lives, we get to unpack your
Speaker 1: conspiracy theory because you came to us with I one
Speaker 1: that I'm super excited about because we haven't done a
Speaker 1: lot in this space. I'll be honest, it's sort of
Speaker 1: an untouched territory for this podcast. But you said, and
Speaker 1: I want to get this right. You said, my mama
Speaker 1: told me only white people get abducted by aliens. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I want to be clear, that's a fact. Okay,
Speaker 1: there may be conspiracy around how that happens, but it
Speaker 1: is a fact that only white people get abducted by aliens. True,
Speaker 1: devastating if true. Uh, okay, this is exciting only white people.
Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit about where this fact for
Speaker 1: you comes from the the we'll call it a fact
Speaker 1: if that's how you're gonna premise this. But how where
Speaker 1: does this pack come from for you? Where where did
Speaker 1: you first come to believe this? Um? I have said.
Speaker 1: You know, you always see like those old clips of
Speaker 1: like Maury or whatever, and it's the people who are
Speaker 1: saying they got abducted by aliens. And you only ever
Speaker 1: see white people saying that. You only ever see white
Speaker 1: people talking about aliens. And then I thought about it,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, if I was an alien, think
Speaker 1: about it. If you were going to go somewhere you've
Speaker 1: never gone before. You're gonna go to Italy or Spain
Speaker 1: or somewhere you've never been. Okay, this is me or
Speaker 1: this is the Okay. I wasn't sure. If you're like,
Speaker 1: if you're an alien, you got to Italy spaghetti, I
Speaker 1: was like, put yourself in the shoes of an alien.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go somewhere you've never been before. What would
Speaker 1: you do? You would research that place and find out
Speaker 1: what's the best restaurants, what's the best attractions, what's the
Speaker 1: coolest thing to see. Now, if you're an alien, you're
Speaker 1: researching Earth, all of the books, movies, podcasts, all the
Speaker 1: things we've produced about ourselves. Says that white people are
Speaker 1: the best and most normal to study humans other than Wow. Now, okay, now,
Speaker 1: and we're starting hot, we're starting early. I love this.
Speaker 1: So what you're suggesting to me, and I think this
Speaker 1: is important is that because and maybe you're saying this
Speaker 1: that because white people, in so many ways have led
Speaker 1: the control over our media, over our history, over the
Speaker 1: documentation of the what it means to be a human
Speaker 1: being on this earth. Naturally, aliens in receiving information about
Speaker 1: where they're traveling to, if they needed a guide book,
Speaker 1: it would be from the white purview, it would be
Speaker 1: from the white experience, and subsequently would then go and
Speaker 1: be like, well, we gotta abdect a good old fashioned
Speaker 1: white that's that's like, that's a chef's kiss example of
Speaker 1: of America and really the world. Yes, I am saying
Speaker 1: that they played themselves Century's log playing of themselves that
Speaker 1: they have under God. So is it a conspiracy? Yes,
Speaker 1: a lot of people got together to do a thing,
Speaker 1: but they didn't know they were doing it in and
Speaker 1: manifesting their own supremacy for so long they accidentally made
Speaker 1: themselves the perfect targets for alien objections. Right, If I'm
Speaker 1: an alien coming to an earth, I want the supreme being.
Speaker 1: If I'm going to kidnap one, I don't want some
Speaker 1: the second tier being. And y'all tricked a bunch of
Speaker 1: people into believing that they are in fact supreme, that
Speaker 1: that the white supremacists of the world are are selling
Speaker 1: that to both us and outer space. Yeah, aliens yelped us.
Speaker 1: White people had the best review. That's crazy that all
Speaker 1: these five star reviews for white people are starting to
Speaker 1: come back to them. I love this. You brought up
Speaker 1: something that I think, uh holds certainly a dear spot
Speaker 1: in my heart. You said, uh, Maury, the old Moriy
Speaker 1: episodes where they would have like alien abductions. And I
Speaker 1: don't even know if Moriy does this anymore. I don't
Speaker 1: know if our listeners remember when Moriy wasn't just doing
Speaker 1: pregnancy tests, but he used to be of he had
Speaker 1: a diverse sort of platform of crazy people's. Previously, it
Speaker 1: used to be harder to get on TV, I think
Speaker 1: just in general, and so you have to really there
Speaker 1: were like two shows that you could get on if
Speaker 1: you weren't like an actor or someone who would be
Speaker 1: on TV naturally, and so you had to really come
Speaker 1: up with a story to get yourself on TV. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know I was. I'm glad you said that because
Speaker 1: I was watching an old Oprah clip around this subject,
Speaker 1: right that Oprah was. You know, this was back before
Speaker 1: Oprah was a white savior and was just a lady
Speaker 1: like searching for ship to talk about on her show.
Speaker 1: And she had like this one dude who was like
Speaker 1: on the show claiming to have had been abducted multiple
Speaker 1: times by aliens, and it was just her being like, now,
Speaker 1: you know people are gonna say you're crazy, right He's
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I get it, Oprah, But
Speaker 1: you gotta understand they touched me. They made love to me,
Speaker 1: Like I okay, I guess it was in an episode
Speaker 1: Oprah I love And now I feel like now Oprah
Speaker 1: would be like, let me hold your heads, how can
Speaker 1: we heal from the right, Let me kiss your sweet
Speaker 1: white hands, and I'll help you be a better person
Speaker 1: out in the world. And previously she was like, you
Speaker 1: sound real stupid to me. But we'll see what the
Speaker 1: fans think when this show every day, you know, they're
Speaker 1: not all gonna be great. They they can't all be winners.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just write Bill dot me down and you go, hey,
Speaker 1: good enough, you know, I love that. At what point
Speaker 1: in your life do you feel like this was a
Speaker 1: discovery that you made. Was there ever a point where
Speaker 1: you thought alien abductions were a possibility for you yourself
Speaker 1: a black woman? No? No, certainly not. I think like
Speaker 1: this is this is gonna get me in trouble on Twitter.
Speaker 1: But this is my opinion. I asure you coming on
Speaker 1: this podcast. We'll get you in Twitter. Let's just focus
Speaker 1: on the important parts of this. All opinions should be
Speaker 1: spoken loudly. Um. I have a lot of things to
Speaker 1: worry about in my day to day life as a
Speaker 1: black woman walking down the street. Is that person gonna
Speaker 1: be racist me? Is that person gonna be sexist me?
Speaker 1: Is that person gonna be sizest to me? Can I
Speaker 1: trust that police officer? Something goes wrong with me? I
Speaker 1: just don't have time during the day to get to
Speaker 1: the worry of will a creature from another planet cut
Speaker 1: down and do something to me? This planet is dangerous
Speaker 1: enough for me. I feel like you have to be
Speaker 1: pretty safe here for you to be like my fears
Speaker 1: are located else, right, I don't need to worry about
Speaker 1: invaders them. I'm worried about Caucasian Tim. H he is
Speaker 1: in fact a a equal threat, if not a bigger one,
Speaker 1: based on everything that you're you're positing these aliens might
Speaker 1: do to me. Yeah. Oh, an alien might come and
Speaker 1: like look at me, right. Oh, and alien might come
Speaker 1: in uh and and poke at my skin. Oh no,
Speaker 1: have sabotaging me at my job, like I have a
Speaker 1: more pressing. Tim keeps telling me I can't wear my
Speaker 1: hair the way I wear my hair, and uh, I
Speaker 1: spent a lot of money on this, and also it
Speaker 1: makes me feel worse. So what do I do with that?
Speaker 1: That's a little worse than whatever the aliens can do? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, So you never once believed that
Speaker 1: you personally could be abducted by aliens? Have you known
Speaker 1: anybody who's had an alien experience? No one in your
Speaker 1: life ever has ever been like yo, I actually think
Speaker 1: I saw something. No, I do know people who and
Speaker 1: I feel like it's become more acceptable to talk about
Speaker 1: because I never did my whole life in the past
Speaker 1: couple of years. Now, I feel like people are like,
Speaker 1: I think there's a ghost in my house, and I'm like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: no one ever said it, and it's like five years ago,
Speaker 1: it was like, let's just all admit that we think
Speaker 1: there's a ghost in our and are Here's Here's where
Speaker 1: this gets fascinating. Are you one of those people that
Speaker 1: it that has admitted that. Are you just somebody who
Speaker 1: has been nearby when somebody else did. I'm the nearby person,
Speaker 1: but I am willing to believe. I'm willing to believe
Speaker 1: anyone that feels that they have experienced something what you
Speaker 1: choose to name it. It's like a choice. So one
Speaker 1: person might be like I saw a ghost, and one
Speaker 1: person might be like I saw alien, and then one
Speaker 1: person who's been the therapy might be like, I have fears. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have these looming experiences of my dad being named
Speaker 1: to me, and it's it's taken shape in the form
Speaker 1: of like, ah, I guess a humanoid thing, but it
Speaker 1: ain't alien or spirit. It's just it's just mean daddy
Speaker 1: standing at the end of my bed hunting me. I
Speaker 1: think that's fair. I do think it's a careful dance
Speaker 1: that we have to do, and it's not even just
Speaker 1: some PC ship but I do think it's a an
Speaker 1: actual careful dance of being able to recognize that that
Speaker 1: part of what people are experiencing, if it feels real
Speaker 1: to them, has a level of validity to it. It
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it has a truth to it, but it
Speaker 1: certainly has some validity, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Yeah, they're dealing with something like I remember
Speaker 1: one time. This is like not comparable, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of the same thing. I was having a hard time
Speaker 1: at work and I was like, everyone at work hates me.
Speaker 1: They're all trying to sabotage me. Everyone is to get me.
Speaker 1: And my girlfriend was like, you're feeling anxiety, Like that's
Speaker 1: got a real thing. That's a hundred people at a
Speaker 1: workplace did not have a meeting and that gets together. No,
Speaker 1: even the people at Ellen. There were some people that
Speaker 1: were like, I don't know if the bitch is cool.
Speaker 1: I'm chilling talk to Ellen. She's hill. It's fine, Like
Speaker 1: everybody can't hate you at a single place. It's just
Speaker 1: not possible that, Like you're to your point. That's anxiety
Speaker 1: that makes us believe in extremely fictional things, and sometimes
Speaker 1: those fictional things manifest themselves into like an actual body,
Speaker 1: into an actual form that that feels even more scary,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense, yeah, Like, well, or maybe it's
Speaker 1: less scary, Like it might be less scary. The idea
Speaker 1: that a being that is you don't know what it
Speaker 1: is and you're not related to it, and um, it's
Speaker 1: a stranger to you wishes you harm than to admit
Speaker 1: that this person in your life, if it's your dad
Speaker 1: or your abusive husband or whatever, wishes you harm. Like
Speaker 1: that's actually harder to deal with for some people. I'm
Speaker 1: sure that's interesting. I never considered that. I've never and
Speaker 1: to be honest, it makes perfect sense. I never considered
Speaker 1: the possibility that for someone who believes in aliens, that
Speaker 1: that uh, that body could be less scary then or
Speaker 1: less hurtful than. You know, the idea of like somebody
Speaker 1: close to you being judgmental of you or malicious towards you,
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. That's what I think Q and
Speaker 1: on is like as weird and crazy as Q and
Speaker 1: on is. They are convinced that like Tom Hanks and
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of Hollywood celebrities are like stealing children
Speaker 1: and molesting them and drinking their blood and Trump is
Speaker 1: the only one who can save these kids, and that's insane.
Speaker 1: But in real life, children are getting molested every day
Speaker 1: by dad's and priests and soccer coaches, and it must
Speaker 1: be nice too. Instead of having that anxiety about like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, my kid could get hurt by someone
Speaker 1: in my family who I care about, it's like, no,
Speaker 1: it's those bad people over there who I'll never meet.
Speaker 1: As long as I keep my fucking kid away from Philadelphia,
Speaker 1: he'll be fine. If Forrest Gump comes anywhere near my
Speaker 1: fucking baby, then he'll get raped. But as long as
Speaker 1: I even away from there, he'll be He'll be a
Speaker 1: strong avoid Tom Cakes. Yeah, Tom Hanks is a lot
Speaker 1: easier to get away from then, uh than the person
Speaker 1: who you go to every day for spiritual advice. God damn,
Speaker 1: that's devastating. I do to that point. I do think
Speaker 1: that so much of what um conspiracy theorists are buying
Speaker 1: into myself included, sometimes is adding rational to what is
Speaker 1: otherwise completely irrational shit. Right, that the world is so
Speaker 1: hard to compress into a consumable like meal, it's just
Speaker 1: it's it's almost impossible to make a meal out of
Speaker 1: everything that's happening in the world, and it's easier to
Speaker 1: just be like, oh, that's some crazy way above us
Speaker 1: that we couldn't even possibly make sense of, instead of
Speaker 1: being like, it's actually pretty clear and simple right in
Speaker 1: front of us. Yeah. Also in that same vein like
Speaker 1: if your own behavior is confusing to you, like a
Speaker 1: lot of people who say they were abducted by aliens,
Speaker 1: experience lost time. I have experienced lost time because I
Speaker 1: drank too much. That was a bad choice. And instead
Speaker 1: of being like, I didn't make a bad choice, someone
Speaker 1: came and took me right right, nobody doesn't. You didn't.
Speaker 1: You didn't lose time. You blacked out in your truck
Speaker 1: and then woke up an hour later. And yes, you're
Speaker 1: in a different location, because sometimes when we black out,
Speaker 1: we keep drying, keep moving that And in fact, you
Speaker 1: should be celebrating the fact that you managed to blackout
Speaker 1: and not die from that experience instead of sitting around
Speaker 1: being like aliens, Oh no, they took my body. What
Speaker 1: am I gonna do? I love that. That's this You're
Speaker 1: you're speaking a lot of important truths out in the
Speaker 1: in in this thing. So no, you don't believe black
Speaker 1: people have ever been abducted. You don't believe anybody outside
Speaker 1: of white community is do they mess with Asians at all?
Speaker 1: Do they ever teple in some in the Mexican or
Speaker 1: two like what are you doing? You said that I
Speaker 1: pictured an alien abducted like a light skinned Latina, and
Speaker 1: then things like oh my god, I'm so sorry man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put you right back in your back. Mama Sita,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. This was never plan. We thought you
Speaker 1: were of the Caucus region. We had no idea you were.
Speaker 1: You were Latin. Next, please get off our ship. So no,
Speaker 1: you don't think they dabble at all. That they strictly
Speaker 1: stick to the pure white meat. Although maybe as our
Speaker 1: media eventually becomes less racist that they're consuming, maybe the
Speaker 1: aliens will become less racist as well. But I expect
Speaker 1: the light skills to get abducted first, So I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be safe. Uh, that's a big issue for me.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if you've noticed, but that's
Speaker 1: sort of my signature move. Um. I do. I think
Speaker 1: it's interesting the framing of what you just said as
Speaker 1: our media sort of becomes less racist, because I do
Speaker 1: think that that if we're following your train, right of like,
Speaker 1: white people have shaped our presentation of what the world is,
Speaker 1: which has been like largely white. And therefore it comes
Speaker 1: to reason that when aliens come to this earth, they
Speaker 1: would take white people. And so it makes me wonder
Speaker 1: if there is even like a want on the parts
Speaker 1: of the aliens to explore outside of the white space
Speaker 1: yet or if they still have work to do in
Speaker 1: in learning about white people. Right, alien abductions have existed
Speaker 1: for long a long time. Are they done working on
Speaker 1: white people and they're trying to advance to different groups?
Speaker 1: Are they still like figuring out what white toes do?
Speaker 1: That's you know, so fascinating that they you know, you
Speaker 1: give what I'm saying. Yeah, I wonder if it'll be
Speaker 1: like anything else, Like once they have duct their first
Speaker 1: black person is over for us, Like we were sucking
Speaker 1: up this whole time. These ones are way more interesting
Speaker 1: and fun. Ye yeah, they're like look at them now,
Speaker 1: look it all is this is cool? You see all
Speaker 1: this meat on our back. We gotta study that. That's different.
Speaker 1: Still cook for us all these flat whites this whole time,
Speaker 1: and we need some of these stick hums. I like this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is. I mean, this is so trash, but a
Speaker 1: lot of the story of alien in abduction is like
Speaker 1: aliens being interested in their butts, and maybe some people
Speaker 1: just want to feel like their butts are interesting and hey,
Speaker 1: hold on, they get you. I think you're you're you're
Speaker 1: bringing up something really important here, because I do wonder
Speaker 1: there is to your point, there's so much in the
Speaker 1: alien abduction space that really is sexual that like quite
Speaker 1: a few of the alien abduction certainly that I've read
Speaker 1: about and seen are rooted in a a version of
Speaker 1: sexual interactions or sexual sort of experiences, and it it
Speaker 1: kind of makes you wonder if how much of this
Speaker 1: is just a dude in a small town who wanted
Speaker 1: to try anal but wasn't ready to admit that, and like,
Speaker 1: you want somebody in your butt, but you don't know
Speaker 1: how to tell people that, so you go and alien
Speaker 1: touched it and uh yeah, I'm still figuring it out,
Speaker 1: and uh, everyone cool, but that somebody that would be cool? Okay,
Speaker 1: what if it was Todd and alien visited me three
Speaker 1: times this week? What am I gonna do? Oh lord,
Speaker 1: It's like, no, man, You're just like ass play. Just
Speaker 1: be into ass play. If that's what you're into. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. The more like humans oppressed, like certain behaviors
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, the more weird stuff humans have
Speaker 1: to come up with, right, Like every single cult is
Speaker 1: a dude being. Like God spoke to me and his
Speaker 1: message was that I should fuck a bunch of teenagers.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't God isn't not to say
Speaker 1: that the Lord already think that. I've talked to the
Speaker 1: Lord and he keeps saying, put your mouth on it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what his plan is.
Speaker 1: I just know he's talking to me and I need
Speaker 1: you to follow through on his wishes. It's like, man,
Speaker 1: that's what the Internet is for. You can always find somebody,
Speaker 1: and that that truly is maybe at the core of
Speaker 1: everything that you're suggesting is is if in fact, all
Speaker 1: of this is just repressed people finding excuses for their
Speaker 1: experiences through alien stories and ship It's like, just find
Speaker 1: your group, man, just go on the Internet and find
Speaker 1: your community, and you don't have to make up an
Speaker 1: alien story. You can just be happy. Yeah, you can
Speaker 1: just go to comic con and do all kind of
Speaker 1: freaky stuff. I'm sure I've never been, but That's what
Speaker 1: I imagine Comic Con is just nice people who found
Speaker 1: their group and playing each other's But I get it.
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, last question before we go to break,
Speaker 1: and I think this is an important one just for
Speaker 1: us to be able to like make sure, and it
Speaker 1: feels like it should have been an earlier question, but
Speaker 1: I think just to to fully be clear, do you
Speaker 1: believe in aliens? I do, and I do not. If
Speaker 1: there were aliens, this is what I think they would
Speaker 1: be doing. If there are not aliens, then there's a
Speaker 1: whole other set of questions of why people are fantasizing
Speaker 1: their fears onto this fake thing that doesn't exist, right,
Speaker 1: which maybe I do feel like white people would tell
Speaker 1: us years of these elaborate stories of how scary aliens
Speaker 1: are so that they can go to Mars and we
Speaker 1: don't go with them, you know, is trying to get
Speaker 1: to Mars. I feel like they're gonna go to Mars
Speaker 1: and start an NBA that they can win. They have
Speaker 1: destroyed this planet and they are gonna leave us here.
Speaker 1: They We're like, no, no, no, space is very scary
Speaker 1: your butt, And then they're gonna all going to be
Speaker 1: God and we're going to be left on this planet
Speaker 1: and it will be very hot here, right. So, so
Speaker 1: to your point, you think that there's a there's an
Speaker 1: element of the alien story that could just be trickery.
Speaker 1: This could just be a long con to make us
Speaker 1: terrified of outer space and allow them to escape quietly
Speaker 1: from the planet while we burn, while we drown and
Speaker 1: burn in our own ship. And honestly, probably overdone because
Speaker 1: black people, it's like, terrified to leave their city. So
Speaker 1: you really did have to tell us twice not to
Speaker 1: go to Mars. Yeah, man, it's not There aren't a
Speaker 1: lot of us really tracking Elon Musk's like progress, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, I'm not I'm not keeping
Speaker 1: up with what he's been up to. I pretty much
Speaker 1: know I ain't working with that dude. Yeah, it gets
Speaker 1: retweeted into my feet, That's how I see what he's
Speaker 1: up to. Yeah, I don't trust any white man with
Speaker 1: a Tupay. It just something don't sit right in that
Speaker 1: whole spirit that like, look, there's too many cool, bald
Speaker 1: white dudes with evil powers that it could be your
Speaker 1: leader and example, why are you so desperate to hold
Speaker 1: onto new hair? I don't like it. Yeah, especially any
Speaker 1: anything that's like, I mean, Trump is a perfect example.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna try to meet lie to me good.
Speaker 1: There are good wigs out there, sir, that you couldn't
Speaker 1: put out your head. Yes, he did not have to
Speaker 1: commit so fully to that look. And I think ego
Speaker 1: and and sort of mania allowed him to keep saying like, no,
Speaker 1: this is the way it has to be instead of
Speaker 1: being honest and just to your point, you know, it's
Speaker 1: just just find your community, man, Just be honest about
Speaker 1: what you look like and what you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: And the studies like, no, I'm gonna be the most
Speaker 1: handsome man in the world. This wig will I'll prove
Speaker 1: to people that this is the best. And it's like
Speaker 1: nobody's gonna like the wig, Donny, it's not happening. Joe
Speaker 1: Biden got hair plugs. Yeah, that's the man I can trust. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he really leaned into being like, uh, barely their hair.
Speaker 1: I love that. It's like you can't even tell Joe
Speaker 1: Biden has hair sometimes because he just it's all silver
Speaker 1: and it's it's just pulled back it. Yeah, you figured
Speaker 1: it out. Knows how to wear a suit, that's all. Hell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got some new teeth. He looks great. We love you.
Speaker 1: We love you Joe until you fuck something up, but
Speaker 1: we love you for now. All right, we're gonna take
Speaker 1: a break. We'll be back with more Ashley, Nicole Black
Speaker 1: and more. My mama told me, and we are that
Speaker 1: we're not gonna let Joe Biden and Kamala Harris cut
Speaker 1: America's meet. That's that on that, that's that on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back here more. Actually, Nicole Black more, and my
Speaker 1: mama told me, we're still talking about the possibility that
Speaker 1: aliens do in fact, it exists, and if they do exist,
Speaker 1: they only funk with you, the white devil at home.
Speaker 1: And we're really trying to figure out why that is
Speaker 1: beyond the fact that they're sort of like fascinated with
Speaker 1: white media or sort of like taken with the presentations
Speaker 1: of white media. Do you think that there's something especially
Speaker 1: interesting for them about white people? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, what do you think what do you
Speaker 1: think white people sold them on about their identities or
Speaker 1: bodies that really makes the white or the aliens go,
Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta poke at that. Well, I think
Speaker 1: white people have sold themselves as the norm, like the
Speaker 1: standard experience. So if you were going to study a
Speaker 1: group of dogs, you wouldn't pick like, oh, like the weirdest,
Speaker 1: the smallest dog, and the biggest dog. You would pick
Speaker 1: the most normal one, and like, gonna learn about dogs
Speaker 1: starting here, And they've they've sold themselves that way. If
Speaker 1: I truly want to learn about about dogs, I don't
Speaker 1: start with a pug. I start with a Golden Retriever,
Speaker 1: a standard issue dog. All right, I like that. Let's
Speaker 1: get into some of this research, because I do think
Speaker 1: that there's a fair amount of what you you've already
Speaker 1: theorized that I'll just I'll just start talking. Feel free
Speaker 1: to jump in at any point to tell me shut
Speaker 1: the funk up you don't agree, call me an idiot.
Speaker 1: I'm excited to see all of this play out. So
Speaker 1: to your point, most reported alien abductions come from the
Speaker 1: United States. Statistically, that is in fact true, And I
Speaker 1: do think it's especially interesting giving your theory on the
Speaker 1: idea that white people are sort of framing the conversation,
Speaker 1: because what country is better at sort of framing white
Speaker 1: people at the forefront then the United States, especially given
Speaker 1: the fact that we are such a diverse country that
Speaker 1: still tells mostly white history. Also we tell the most stories, right,
Speaker 1: like America makes most of the media. So it would
Speaker 1: be like, oh, now that like Nollywood is getting big,
Speaker 1: aliens will start going to Nigeria now right, Yeah, They've
Speaker 1: been watching all these Notywood movies and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: we gotta hey, look, we saw what regular iron man is.
Speaker 1: Now we gotta see what Nigerian iron man is. Like,
Speaker 1: we gotta figure that one out. I love that, Okay.
Speaker 1: So with that, this is where it gets interesting is
Speaker 1: that the first official uh and this sort of challenges
Speaker 1: your your claim and I hate to do this, but
Speaker 1: the first official claims of alien abductions actually came from
Speaker 1: people of color that that the original like and these
Speaker 1: weren't the original alien abductions, but certainly the ones that
Speaker 1: caught like international attention. The first one actually came from
Speaker 1: this dude who was a Brazilian farmer named Antonio Vias Boas.
Speaker 1: That was Antonio Boas, was this dude out in Brazil
Speaker 1: who claimed that while he was farming at night, and
Speaker 1: he was farming at night because it was super hot
Speaker 1: during the day, at these tiny little aliens, these five
Speaker 1: foot little aliens with tiny blue eyes, flew over the
Speaker 1: top of him, knocked him out, took him onto their
Speaker 1: spacecraft and probed him. And then he says that this
Speaker 1: beautiful red haired alien, something that has now been sort
Speaker 1: of like branded as a plead in uh these this
Speaker 1: sort of beautiful humanoid woman with blue eyes, made him
Speaker 1: have sex with her in order to create a human
Speaker 1: alien hybrid child, and then threw him off the ship.
Speaker 1: Not threw him, but took him off the ship and
Speaker 1: left him to tell his story later. I mean, in
Speaker 1: a hundred percent, sounds like Antonio cheated on his wife, right.
Speaker 1: I had to think fast, Uh, you cheated on your
Speaker 1: wife with a red haired prostitute. And there was a tiny,
Speaker 1: little blue eyed pimp who was with her. It was like, hey, dog,
Speaker 1: I'll let you fun this lady. And he was like,
Speaker 1: all right, man, come on, dog, please, your wife finds
Speaker 1: a red hair on your sweater. My favorite part of
Speaker 1: the whole story is Antonio made a point of expressing
Speaker 1: how red her pubes were, that it wasn't just her
Speaker 1: red hair that he also was like the pubic hair red.
Speaker 1: It's like, all right, Antonio, you're a little obsessed with
Speaker 1: this alien in a way that that does sound more
Speaker 1: sexual than uh, than like kidnapping. Also, just wonder from
Speaker 1: an evolutionary standpoint, what use aliens have for pubes? That is, oh,
Speaker 1: in very important question here, why do these aliens have pups?
Speaker 1: Was it for our own comfort? Because in theory, I
Speaker 1: think the suggestion is that these plea adiencies, these women uh,
Speaker 1: these aliens that take women form are meant to like, uh,
Speaker 1: look like something we would get horny for, and subsequently
Speaker 1: then we can come inside of them and give them
Speaker 1: little alien babies. But like the pups, ain't the part
Speaker 1: that everybody's getting horny for personal taste? Maybe they saw
Speaker 1: his dreams. He was like, listen, I like a I
Speaker 1: like a fiery red bush. If there's not there, Old
Speaker 1: Antonio just can't get in the mood. I'll just stay
Speaker 1: on the farm. And that, oh Antonio, you rascal. Okay. Now,
Speaker 1: this is the the second known case and the second
Speaker 1: sort of biggest international case of a alien abduction actually
Speaker 1: involves a black man and his white wife. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've ever heard of Betty and Barney Hill,
Speaker 1: who were an interracial couple in ninety one who basically
Speaker 1: claimed to have been abducted in New Hampshire while they
Speaker 1: were driving back from a trip to Niagara Falls, these
Speaker 1: like lights come over their car. They get abducted, uh,
Speaker 1: and they claim that like they, like you said before,
Speaker 1: time lapse, right, like they go blank for two hours.
Speaker 1: They get up in the spaceship. Now, Barney and Betty
Speaker 1: have somewhat different stories in this experience. Betty claimed that
Speaker 1: she got in the ship and she was pretty much
Speaker 1: cracking jokes with the aliens and like they even like
Speaker 1: at one point offered her a book that she could
Speaker 1: take back. But then the other alien, like one of
Speaker 1: the they call them grays. They're they're often described as
Speaker 1: these tall, gray, big eyed aliens that kind of set
Speaker 1: the standard for what we now know to be the
Speaker 1: you know, traditional aliens and media. Right, Um, these Grays
Speaker 1: were like hanging out with her and like poking at her,
Speaker 1: and they even gave her a pregnancy test where they
Speaker 1: poked something in her belly and she said it her
Speaker 1: what they were nice about it and all this ship
Speaker 1: and they offered her a book, but then the big
Speaker 1: boss Gray was like, no, take the fucking book back.
Speaker 1: She can't have the book. And then they sent her
Speaker 1: a longer way. Whereas Barney is much more like I
Speaker 1: don't know, dog. They were just kind of like cold
Speaker 1: with me and like very very off putting and not
Speaker 1: necessarily as like warm and cuddly as my wife describes it.
Speaker 1: But they both basically claimed to have seen the same thing,
Speaker 1: wake up thirty five miles down the road back at
Speaker 1: their farm with these memories that they then have to
Speaker 1: unpack in therapy and hypno therapy years later. Your thoughts, um,
Speaker 1: I mean, as soon as you said they're like driving
Speaker 1: and then lights went off, I was like, did they
Speaker 1: get taken by the police. Then the police were nicer
Speaker 1: to her. It doesn't feel wrong. It listened the part
Speaker 1: where she was like, yeah, they were really cool to me,
Speaker 1: and he was like, I don't know, I didn't really
Speaker 1: like their vibe. Felt like here we go again that before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't there's no reason that they were so
Speaker 1: nice to Betty and not nice to Barney. I've seen
Speaker 1: pictures of them. It's not like Betty was hot. There's
Speaker 1: nothing about her that like you needed to be like
Speaker 1: careful with other than maybe they just felt like being
Speaker 1: nice to a white lady. Well, and they they were like,
Speaker 1: we know this one's important. Right. I also feel like
Speaker 1: the first two coming from people of color does not
Speaker 1: negate my theory because white people stay appropriating. First I'm
Speaker 1: now I'm liking what you're saying right here. Now you've
Speaker 1: piqued my interest in a way, because this is very exciting,
Speaker 1: because I do think that some of what we might
Speaker 1: be seeing, if in fact these alien abductions are real,
Speaker 1: is not that black people aren't in fact being abducted
Speaker 1: or brown people aren't being abducted, but that white people
Speaker 1: shifted the focus. They were like, oh, this thing that
Speaker 1: started happening much more frequently in the fifties and sixties,
Speaker 1: now we're gonna make it about our experiences and so
Speaker 1: all you know, it's the same way that like, black
Speaker 1: people report kidnappings all the time and white media doesn't
Speaker 1: treat it with any sort of legitimacy or care. They
Speaker 1: might do the exact same thing with alien abductions. That's
Speaker 1: at some poor black persons out here, like somebody please worry,
Speaker 1: anybody please, this is a fifth time they got me
Speaker 1: this week and talk to me. Well, somebody please come
Speaker 1: help me and my family. So one of the things
Speaker 1: that I ended up bumping into as I was going
Speaker 1: through this research was this Guardian article that sort of
Speaker 1: talked about exactly that that like the white the black
Speaker 1: people rather and brown people who get pushed out of
Speaker 1: the alien conversation. So there's this article that basically unpacks
Speaker 1: the experience of this black Dominican dude who like moved
Speaker 1: from the Dominican Republic, moved to uh, the United States,
Speaker 1: and basically was obsessed with aliens his whole life, despite
Speaker 1: coming from a super religious family where he wasn't supposed
Speaker 1: to be talking about aliens and learning about this ship.
Speaker 1: This motherfucker loved aliens. He's obsessed. But he moves to
Speaker 1: America and ends up finding out about this organization. Now,
Speaker 1: I want to get the organization's name right. It's called
Speaker 1: the Mutual UFO Network. Moufon is what they go by, right,
Speaker 1: And so he decides to join moufon, which is basically
Speaker 1: this nonprofit for citizens to form community around alien activity
Speaker 1: and encounters. And despite being this super advocate for aliens
Speaker 1: and alien experiences, he loves them to death. He joins
Speaker 1: this organization and immediately all this news starts coming out
Speaker 1: about racist ship and sort of like discriminatory ship that
Speaker 1: MOUFON is doing against people of color and non you know,
Speaker 1: minority communities. So this move on, these are people who
Speaker 1: they're They like aliens, They're interested in the idea of
Speaker 1: aliens exactly. Do you know how racist you have to
Speaker 1: be to be like aliens? Yes, I would like to
Speaker 1: hang out with them. Interested in them Black people? Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm funk with y'all. I'm excited to find out as
Speaker 1: much as I can about you. You obviously are real
Speaker 1: things that I'm committed to learn about Black people. Not
Speaker 1: a fan. Don't care for him. Just leave, just makes
Speaker 1: my skin crawl, not for me, Just stay out of
Speaker 1: my space. You know, alien's come on, doubt Black people
Speaker 1: don't cross the streets. Aliens get in my butt. Black
Speaker 1: people stay off my lawn. This is all I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So one of the things that that Moufon got in
Speaker 1: trouble for was in two thousand eighteen. So this dude,
Speaker 1: this black Dominican dude, he joins the organization around twenty sixteen,
Speaker 1: I believe in ten Newsweek reports on this wave of
Speaker 1: resignations across Moufon. After John Ventor Ventre, I I don't
Speaker 1: know how to say his name, but the state director
Speaker 1: for the organization's Pennsylvania chapter, which is one of the
Speaker 1: largest chapters in the country, posted on his personal Facebook
Speaker 1: that white men in America were being attacked by a
Speaker 1: legal affirmative action and interracial couples in every show and
Speaker 1: commercial that basically he felt like this was an attack
Speaker 1: or white men, and he goes on later to apologize
Speaker 1: when everybody starts tripping about it, but he says, I
Speaker 1: don't hate anybody. I apologize for what I said, but
Speaker 1: I'm feeling like, because I'm a sixty year old white man,
Speaker 1: I'm getting totally unfairly attacked. I just can't wait. So
Speaker 1: did they kick him out? Basically, yeah, they pushed him
Speaker 1: out of the organization. They were like a dog. This
Speaker 1: can't be reflective of of what Moufon believes. The reputation
Speaker 1: is now on the line. Hey man, you're really making
Speaker 1: us look bad as people who stare at the sky
Speaker 1: all night. We're not loving what you're putting out there.
Speaker 1: I love that. I just can't. I mean, it makes
Speaker 1: perfect sense for someone who is racist to be like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't possibly get to know my neighbor. That interracial
Speaker 1: couple on that commercial is so foreign to me that
Speaker 1: I couldn't possibly try to figure out what their deal is,
Speaker 1: but aliens from the sky like to devote my life right.
Speaker 1: That that was the part that really bumped me, was like,
Speaker 1: I'm cool with you having issues. I'm not cool with it,
Speaker 1: but I can make peace with you having issues with
Speaker 1: affirmative action politically, maybe you can find some sort of
Speaker 1: illogical evil argument and whatever that is. But uh, for
Speaker 1: you to be like all these interracial couples. Meanwhile, you
Speaker 1: run an organization where people are regularly coming in and
Speaker 1: saying they were probed in order to make inner species
Speaker 1: mixes of babies is fucking nuts. Like that doesn't bug you.
Speaker 1: You should be campaigning against that. Aliens are are impregnating
Speaker 1: your women, and you're still like, I don't all these
Speaker 1: fucking niggers and their black little mixed babies. It's just
Speaker 1: not for me. Well, and also, like, so you have
Speaker 1: as a racist white person, you have to lack curiosity
Speaker 1: in my opinion, because if you were curious and you
Speaker 1: actually talked to any people of color, you would see
Speaker 1: that like, some of them are dope, some of them suck.
Speaker 1: Just like every other group of people, you have to
Speaker 1: have enough curiosity to find that out for yourself instead
Speaker 1: of just believing the images that you get from whatever
Speaker 1: media you're consuming. But every piece of media you are
Speaker 1: consuming is telling you that aliens are not real, and
Speaker 1: you are capable of looking past all of that. But
Speaker 1: you see one report on Fox new it's not affirmative action.
Speaker 1: You're like, it makes sense any further. Yeah, it truly
Speaker 1: does speak to not only the way that white people
Speaker 1: choose to limit their imaginations when it comes to our humanity,
Speaker 1: but I think it also speaks and this flips it right.
Speaker 1: It speaks to the way that white people have intentionally
Speaker 1: limited black people's imaginations and people of colors imaginations that like,
Speaker 1: you won't allow us to even enter into these spaces
Speaker 1: and just dream of stars and space and spacecrafts because
Speaker 1: you keep interrupting it with being like, I don't want
Speaker 1: y'all getting into schools that you ain't supposed to be
Speaker 1: getting into. It's like, bro, I came here to talk
Speaker 1: about aliens. I didn't even want to think about this ship,
Speaker 1: but you, the chapter leader, are like interrupting it with
Speaker 1: your own garbage. And honestly, like, when you put it
Speaker 1: that way, how nice would it be as a black
Speaker 1: person to take a break and be like, let's just
Speaker 1: talk about space. Yeah. I would love to just be
Speaker 1: in an alien group and not not based on race
Speaker 1: or community. I don't even need it to be a
Speaker 1: black alien group. I truly would love to just sit
Speaker 1: around with a bunch of weirdos and talk about what
Speaker 1: happened to our butts and and unpack that and maybe
Speaker 1: we find out we have daddy problems or maybe there
Speaker 1: truly are aliens out there, and that's a beautiful growth
Speaker 1: either way for that community to imagine and to decompressed
Speaker 1: from whatever is in our ship. I really love the
Speaker 1: idea that for you, working out your daddy issues or
Speaker 1: discovering that aliens are real would both be incredible. Gross
Speaker 1: hey listen, and we we'd have healing either way. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know which one I need, but
Speaker 1: I know for sure healing needs to happen, so hell yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do that. I love it. Either way, it's a
Speaker 1: new vision of authority. Yea. Yeah. Here's Here's something that
Speaker 1: I think you might find even more fascinating is that
Speaker 1: I read a piece of this essay called of Alien
Speaker 1: Abductions Pocket University Universes and slave narratives, which basically suggests
Speaker 1: uh that a that as a method of surviving the
Speaker 1: evil associations made by white people like Thomas Jefferson in
Speaker 1: equating black bodies to living machines, a type of imaginative
Speaker 1: subversion was born that like, black people started to use
Speaker 1: their imagination when they were made into machines by their
Speaker 1: white slave owners, right that, like if somebody comes by
Speaker 1: and goes, you're a human machine, you then, as a
Speaker 1: method of survival, go, well, if I'm a machine, what
Speaker 1: are my parts? Like? Where what tinkering around in there?
Speaker 1: There must be a corkscrew and a blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Um, And I think that
Speaker 1: there's something really interesting in in uh in not only
Speaker 1: the the accidental limitation of our imaginations, but maybe an
Speaker 1: intentional limiting of our imaginations to keep us beyond our
Speaker 1: from moving beyond our circumstances. That in that way that
Speaker 1: they're recognizing that this is a survival method to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: if I'm a machine, then I can be an android.
Speaker 1: They're going like, well, if they start to truly believe
Speaker 1: in aliens, they'll start to know that they aren't the
Speaker 1: worst person on this planet that like, or that the
Speaker 1: rankings that we've created are in fact bullshit in the
Speaker 1: first place. Yeah, if and also like, if there's somewhere
Speaker 1: else to go, Like, I think part of that limiting
Speaker 1: is like, you're gonna stay here on this plantation, doing
Speaker 1: this work. You are never going to leave here. This
Speaker 1: is the only thing that life could be, So don't
Speaker 1: even dream about anything other than this happening. And if
Speaker 1: someone in that situation thinks that aliens are real, that
Speaker 1: means there's not only just so much more state and country,
Speaker 1: there's more universe that you could go to where circumstances
Speaker 1: might be different, exactly. I think at I think at
Speaker 1: its core, the advantages of whiteness right have to be
Speaker 1: lost if we've in fact find out there's a superior
Speaker 1: being living out in the universe. If you can make
Speaker 1: it to Earth, you're better than white people. White people can't.
Speaker 1: We've barely left Earth. So like, if white people are
Speaker 1: in fact the best that Earth can offer, which I
Speaker 1: don't believe but they do. If you are in fact
Speaker 1: the best that Earth can offer, and then there's this
Speaker 1: species that can make it here, then you aren't the
Speaker 1: best in the universe, which means that we don't need
Speaker 1: to keep being submissive to whatever you're you're biological, whatever
Speaker 1: cooking is that that made you so much better than us.
Speaker 1: We should be serving those aliens if nothing else well,
Speaker 1: or like maybe the aliens would just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: these ones are cool, We're taking these and then we
Speaker 1: would just like go hang out. Like I really think
Speaker 1: a lot of the like over narrativizing of like black
Speaker 1: people being worse is because the second they met black people,
Speaker 1: they were like, oh my god, they are gorgeous and strong,
Speaker 1: Like quick, wait, tell them they're bad. Are we going
Speaker 1: to this motherfucker's making jazz? We don't even know how
Speaker 1: to do that. Go out, make it stop. I love that,
Speaker 1: I do think, and it got me thinking about even
Speaker 1: like traditions that aren't alien in this space that at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, if like part of it
Speaker 1: is this is why they keep Jesus and Santa white, right,
Speaker 1: it's it's a maintenance of the status quo. We it
Speaker 1: satiates whatever that need is to keep them elevated above
Speaker 1: us in their own minds, is by having a white
Speaker 1: savior and a white man who can travel across the
Speaker 1: world and give out gifts instead of it being you know,
Speaker 1: a nigga with a bag and and doing his job. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, do you remember, um. I think it
Speaker 1: was the last Winter Olympics. There was a black woman
Speaker 1: who for like some technical reason, she couldn't compete in
Speaker 1: the sport that she normally competes in, so she did
Speaker 1: speed skating instead, and in the course of a few
Speaker 1: much she learned how to speed skate she had never
Speaker 1: done it before. Went to the Olympics and metal because
Speaker 1: because that's the kind of ship that we do. I
Speaker 1: think you have to say this game is not for you,
Speaker 1: because we know if you ever play it, you're that
Speaker 1: you might win. So these games are not for you.
Speaker 1: These are winter sports that space that's not for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and to that point, And I think this is important
Speaker 1: for our white listeners to hear because I don't want
Speaker 1: to get caught in some trap where they go like
Speaker 1: they're suggesting black people would be better at this, at
Speaker 1: every single sport. Like I don't give a funk about
Speaker 1: having that conversation. But what I will say is that
Speaker 1: we could thrive in every space that you can thrive
Speaker 1: in if we were given a fair shot to thrive
Speaker 1: in those spaces, And unfortunately, you've created a system where
Speaker 1: I don't get to learn to play polo to find
Speaker 1: out if I'm in fact the greatest polo player of
Speaker 1: all fucking time. Yeah, what if I was meant to
Speaker 1: be a huge TikTok star? Don't never just give me
Speaker 1: the shot and then you know if I suck at it,
Speaker 1: which I probably will. I've got stubby little arms. These
Speaker 1: motherfucker's ain't good for polo, I have to imagine. But
Speaker 1: let me try and let me figure that shoot out. Well,
Speaker 1: the thing that's so crazy too is we're like, what
Speaker 1: twelve percent of the population in the US, all things
Speaker 1: being equal, every profession would have black people, right, so
Speaker 1: you would. That's not the most act, not that much.
Speaker 1: Pretty small percent. That's what you're afraid of. You're afraid
Speaker 1: of thirteen percent of CEO is being right. That means
Speaker 1: that at every like office birthday party, there's one dude
Speaker 1: named Tyreek, and and that's all we're asking for. And
Speaker 1: y'all are so uncomfortable with the premise of Tyreek being
Speaker 1: there that you in fact just create systems where you
Speaker 1: don't allow anyone to be in that space. And that's
Speaker 1: fucking crazy. All right, We're gonna take more, more break.
Speaker 1: We'll be back more Ashley, Nicole, Black and more, my
Speaker 1: mama told me. And we are that. Yeah, we're back
Speaker 1: here with more Ashley, Nicole and Black more. And my
Speaker 1: mama told me. We're still talking about aliens and the
Speaker 1: possibility that the alien abductions are in fact just a
Speaker 1: way of limiting the scope of black people and our
Speaker 1: potential that this is all sinister and the white devil
Speaker 1: cooked it all up. All right, I think you can
Speaker 1: take literally anything and come back to that conclusion. And
Speaker 1: you know, you know what, if you listen to this podcast,
Speaker 1: that's pretty much what I did. I think anybody who
Speaker 1: subscribes to this would totally agree that that's kind of
Speaker 1: the whole game. It's just me figuring out ways to
Speaker 1: call people the white devil at the end of the thing,
Speaker 1: in a silly way that sometimes has meaningful bullshit underneath it,
Speaker 1: but frankly, it's just an excuse for me to get
Speaker 1: some ship off my chest. That's called being a cultural commentator.
Speaker 1: Oh and and Papa's hitting a home run on that one.
Speaker 1: All right, I want to play a game with you. Uh,
Speaker 1: this is a very dumb game that I'm I've decided
Speaker 1: to call alien or ant Farm. This is a fun
Speaker 1: game where I am going to introduce to you a
Speaker 1: number of celebrity alien encounters, times where celebrities have claimed
Speaker 1: to have seen aliens or experienced some version of an
Speaker 1: alien encounter. And I would love for you, Ashley, to
Speaker 1: tell me whether or not you believe their story, and
Speaker 1: if not, what you think actually happened in their experiences.
Speaker 1: I highly anticipate a Kircy Ali's name coming up. I've
Speaker 1: never had people guessed before. This is exciting. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: jump into it. This is an exciting uh first swing.
Speaker 1: We have Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus who claimed in in
Speaker 1: magazine in October very recently that uh she says that
Speaker 1: she had an alien encounter where she did see one
Speaker 1: flying her and her friend and she was driving and
Speaker 1: basically trying to outrun it. The alien was sitting in
Speaker 1: front of the flying object and it looked at me,
Speaker 1: she says, and we made eye contact. I think she
Speaker 1: saw a drone, maybe like a small child playing with
Speaker 1: a drone. That's fair that this was just a small
Speaker 1: drone that Miley Cyrus turned into an alien encounter. You
Speaker 1: don't believe that she in fact did see an alien,
Speaker 1: that's fair. She also did later say that she was
Speaker 1: highest ship at the time that this encounter took place. Uh,
Speaker 1: there is uh post malone. Post malone, says uh. And
Speaker 1: he talked about this on the Joe Rogan podcast, pretty
Speaker 1: much the same podcast that I'm running. I think uh.
Speaker 1: I think there's a pretty clear one for one on
Speaker 1: the old Joe Rogan podcast and this one. But he
Speaker 1: said on the Joe Rogan podcast that he's actually been uh,
Speaker 1: he's encountered UFOs in New York, Utah, and California over
Speaker 1: the years. And he's like, how did no one else
Speaker 1: see this? This is in reference to the the But
Speaker 1: I was there with like four other fucking people and
Speaker 1: they saw it too, that like these are this is
Speaker 1: one of his encounters. How how are you feeling about
Speaker 1: post malone seeing aliens? I once was driving my mom's
Speaker 1: car and she has Serious and I guess Serious has
Speaker 1: a whole post malone channel that just slone day. I
Speaker 1: did not know this, so I'm driving I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a good song. Oh, this song has been
Speaker 1: going on for three hours, and I was just like
Speaker 1: vibing to it. And I'm like, if I can vibe
Speaker 1: that much listening to post Melode, I can only imagine
Speaker 1: how much he vibes making this music. And so if
Speaker 1: anybody has hung out with aliens, it is postmloned. Wow.
Speaker 1: So okay, so you're believing the post malone possibility of
Speaker 1: it all. I just feel like he's on another frequency.
Speaker 1: That's fair. The man has uh he's made some very
Speaker 1: bold choices with his face and body that I think
Speaker 1: he has stay Away tattooed over his eyebrow, maybe for
Speaker 1: this reason. Yeah, he looks up at the UFO. They
Speaker 1: can read his wish. I would love that if the aliens. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's the one way you keep the aliens from fucking
Speaker 1: with you is writing out your your one wish on
Speaker 1: your fucking eyebrows, like stay away. They're not great at consent,
Speaker 1: but if you are really explicit, if you get it
Speaker 1: in writing, they gotta take it. And apparently you got
Speaker 1: to write it on your face, said spokes ma alone. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's another fun one. January Jones claims to have uh
Speaker 1: seen an alien. She says she it happened when she
Speaker 1: was in her twenties. She said it could have been
Speaker 1: a shooting star that she just couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 1: She's not a hundred percent sure, but suspects that it
Speaker 1: was it was an alien encounter of sorts. I appreciate
Speaker 1: the imagination of anyone's like it could have been a
Speaker 1: shooting star, which means it also could have been an airplane,
Speaker 1: helicopter or anything. But I'm gonna go straight to fair enough.
Speaker 1: January Jones had the liberty, and I do think it's
Speaker 1: a liberty to be like, it could have been a
Speaker 1: shooting star, uh, thing that we all experienced all the
Speaker 1: time and see, or it could have been an alien encounter.
Speaker 1: And I live in a whimsical world that allows me
Speaker 1: to believe to her life over you, January Jones. Uh.
Speaker 1: Then there's Kurt Russell. Kurt Russell claims that he was flying.
Speaker 1: He says, I was flying and there were these banks
Speaker 1: of light in the shape of a triangle right near
Speaker 1: the airport. He said. Years later, I come home in
Speaker 1: Goldie Goldie Hawn is watching this show on UFOs and
Speaker 1: the most reported one of all time was in one
Speaker 1: was one in Phoenix. I start to see this show
Speaker 1: and say, wait a minute, that's the night I was
Speaker 1: landing in Phoenix. Um. I feel like the triangle shape
Speaker 1: is a very common flying saucer. Like people say that
Speaker 1: they think they saw UFO, and it's also the shape
Speaker 1: that our military aircraft is in. And I just don't
Speaker 1: understand why people don't think, oh, I saw a military
Speaker 1: aircraft the airport, Yeah, where they would be right, It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it was by the place where planes go. Maybe it
Speaker 1: just was that was a plan. But I also am
Speaker 1: really interested in this thing that he did that I
Speaker 1: have done that a lot of people do. Where you
Speaker 1: there's no way he could remember, so he remember seeing
Speaker 1: lights in the sky, I'm sure that happened, and then
Speaker 1: he sees a TV show that says something happened in Phoenix.
Speaker 1: There's no way you could remember that you were specifically
Speaker 1: in Phoenix on that day. But your brain just puts
Speaker 1: those two things together because it wants to. And I
Speaker 1: just think that's such an interesting thing. And I like,
Speaker 1: never trust myself when I do, especially because I'm sure
Speaker 1: you're in the same situation when you travel so much
Speaker 1: for work. You're like, what city was I in when
Speaker 1: that happened? Was that? Was this person there or that
Speaker 1: person there, and I'm like, am I making up a
Speaker 1: story where we were hanging out in New York and
Speaker 1: this thing happened? Or like, did that thing happen but
Speaker 1: in Chicago and you weren't there, And now that we're
Speaker 1: talking about it, I'm putting these two memories. Yeah, to
Speaker 1: that point, I think that's that in in a slightly
Speaker 1: less endearing way, that's what happen him with Brian Williams, right,
Speaker 1: is like Brian Williams wasn't in a fucking helicopter that
Speaker 1: got shot down in in Iraq or shot at to
Speaker 1: the point of almost getting shot down in Iraq, but
Speaker 1: he was in fact, like in Iraq and wasn't a
Speaker 1: helicopter and maybe even saw firing going on in a
Speaker 1: way that made him create this story in his head
Speaker 1: that it all felt real and visceral. That's that's the
Speaker 1: kind way of interpreting what might have happened. It also
Speaker 1: could have just been a man trying to take advantage of,
Speaker 1: you know, his fame and media. But I do think
Speaker 1: that a part of it was just like it felt
Speaker 1: real in his head, so he told the fucking story.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, as a woman like I will
Speaker 1: see someone who I'm known for ten years and go
Speaker 1: to say hello, and my brain will stop and be like,
Speaker 1: is her name really Kelly? Even though like I've worked
Speaker 1: with Kelly every day of ten years. But I am
Speaker 1: so taught to question myself that I questioned every piece
Speaker 1: of information my brain gives me. So I cannot fathom
Speaker 1: being the kind of person who sees that thing on
Speaker 1: TV and it's like, yes, I was there, I remember,
Speaker 1: and my brain and it happened to me. Listen. That's
Speaker 1: how I feel about my wife every day. What is
Speaker 1: your name? Lady? Who are reintroduce yourself? I don't know
Speaker 1: you or you did that? They were like, have you
Speaker 1: guys met this is my wife? This is my mom?
Speaker 1: You guys but it's just us alone in the house,
Speaker 1: and like have you met her? Nice? Uh? You you aren't.
Speaker 1: We'll do two more. There are two two more fun
Speaker 1: ones I think worths unpacking. There's Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers
Speaker 1: of football fame. I don't know if you're you're a
Speaker 1: football fan at all. He's the uh, the quarterback for
Speaker 1: the Green Bay Packers. He's big, handsome, talented man, arguably
Speaker 1: one of the best quarterbacks in the game. Uh. He
Speaker 1: said that it looks like a commerce jet in reference
Speaker 1: he was twenty years old. Referring to his alien encounter,
Speaker 1: he said, it looks like a commercial jet kind of flying,
Speaker 1: or maybe it's a military jet. And they're trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what's coming through the clouds, and you see
Speaker 1: like a fiery movement of clouds, I guess, coming through
Speaker 1: the sky. He then goes on to say, then the
Speaker 1: plane eventually runs into the spaceship which is coming into orbit.
Speaker 1: It was like a large orange left to right moving object.
Speaker 1: I think he saw a beautiful sunset. Happy. So literally,
Speaker 1: up to this point, you are only buying uh post
Speaker 1: Malone story. Of all the people I've introduced, you're like,
Speaker 1: the only one I'm here for is post Malone. He's
Speaker 1: the most incredible celebrity. That's you're making wild choices. Actually
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say good or bad. That's not my place,
Speaker 1: but I will say wild, wild choices. My favorite, my
Speaker 1: personal favorite that I'm going to throw your way is
Speaker 1: that uh is that Jaden Smith was not white, but
Speaker 1: but it is a big advocate that UFOs and aliens exists.
Speaker 1: He said he talked to President Obama about extraterrestrials and
Speaker 1: and Obama said he could neither confirm nor deny the
Speaker 1: existence of aliens, which means in Smith's mind, they're real.
Speaker 1: He said that people think we're the only people in
Speaker 1: that live in this universe, then something is wrong with them.
Speaker 1: I would pay any amount of money to watch that conversation,
Speaker 1: to watch Barack Obama be like Jaden like just the
Speaker 1: wheel started in his side of like, okay, how do
Speaker 1: I deal with this? All right? Man? How am I
Speaker 1: going to tell Will Smith's son to shut the funk up?
Speaker 1: And moved down the line. Do you know? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't have a meeting with Jaden's making it seem like
Speaker 1: they had to sit down like a big long conversation.
Speaker 1: You met him one time in a fucking greeting, like
Speaker 1: you said, just moving down the line, and Jaden made
Speaker 1: a point of gripping his hand and being like what's
Speaker 1: up on them? Estro? Directorials andros like, oh fuck, Michelle,
Speaker 1: he's asking me about I can't confirm, ja, thank you
Speaker 1: for your service in pursuit of happiness. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you do. I do think. UM. A very funny
Speaker 1: presidential thing to me is they love like George Bush
Speaker 1: did it, um Joe Biden has done it the wink
Speaker 1: of like, I don't know our aliens real. I think
Speaker 1: that's like a fun president bit that they like to do.
Speaker 1: And the only cool thing Donald Trump has ever done
Speaker 1: in his entire life is when it was his time
Speaker 1: to like do that fun man and it didn't even
Speaker 1: get that much newscovers because he says so many crazy things,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's the first cool thing. He's definite. Well,
Speaker 1: he's also like not a motherfucker that knows how to
Speaker 1: wake you know what I mean, Like the wink is
Speaker 1: meant to be like we're playing a cute game. We
Speaker 1: know how to be coy. He's a rapist, so he
Speaker 1: don't know how to be coy. He just goes for
Speaker 1: it the way that like you know, you were taught
Speaker 1: not to do. So when they go our aliens really
Speaker 1: goes yes, yes, well that let me stay in this house.
Speaker 1: Yes they're real. Am I in charge? Again? It's like,
Speaker 1: shut the funk up, Donnie, we know they're real that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw that recent report about
Speaker 1: the Israeli UH intelligence person who basically came forward and
Speaker 1: said that there's an entire galactic federation that exists, that
Speaker 1: has basically left the United States. It made the United
Speaker 1: States and Israel for some reason aware of its existence,
Speaker 1: but left Earth out of its conversation because humans are
Speaker 1: not ready to uh to deal in alien talk quite yet.
Speaker 1: I don't know what if you're not from the United
Speaker 1: States or Israel, I don't know why they would be
Speaker 1: at the center of this discourse. Like I don't know
Speaker 1: what's so much more special about those two countries like
Speaker 1: Kenya and Japan. That's the thing countries. If I had
Speaker 1: to really go down the list, if I'm an alien
Speaker 1: and really think about who was going to be able
Speaker 1: to handle the information the best and truly get to
Speaker 1: the core of what we need. I'm going to Japan.
Speaker 1: These motherfucker's have already been tinkering around in in alien ship.
Speaker 1: Not fucking going to the United States. You guys, yell
Speaker 1: at each other because we're falling apart. The motherfuckers can't
Speaker 1: even get from Ain't no fucking way am I starting it.
Speaker 1: They have high speed trains. We we don't even we
Speaker 1: overcharge for Amtrak. We're not doing the same ship. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? You know how quickly South Korea
Speaker 1: handled the coronavirus. They nailed it. They know how to
Speaker 1: handle New Zealand. I'm going to New Zealand where they
Speaker 1: literally have announced the coronavirus no longer exists on their
Speaker 1: entire country. It's like, yeah, I'm going there, Ashley. This
Speaker 1: was this was the delight. I had a great time.
Speaker 1: Could you glad that we're getting the word out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're getting the word out. I don't know what word
Speaker 1: we're getting out, but we're getting a word out on
Speaker 1: this all alien thing. Uh. Could you tell the people
Speaker 1: at home what you have going on? Where they can
Speaker 1: find you on the internets all that stuff. Yeah, working
Speaker 1: on the next season of Black Lady Sketch Show now,
Speaker 1: and people can find me on Twitter. I'm Ashley in
Speaker 1: one CEO Ellie. I was a late adopter. I did
Speaker 1: not get a good US name. I apologize. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: not if you see into in three any of the
Speaker 1: other other numbers, those are scams. I'm in one. Well,
Speaker 1: congratulations on being Uh on being scammed. You got the
Speaker 1: if you got copy accounts, you're doing great, famous, famous, beautiful.
Speaker 1: All right, Well yeah follow her, go watch a Black
Speaker 1: Lady Sketch Show. And as always, you can follow me
Speaker 1: at Lankston Kerman and you please. If you have drops,
Speaker 1: if you have theories, if you have bullshit that you
Speaker 1: would like to send us, you can send it to
Speaker 1: my Mama pod at gmail dot com. And I would
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. And that's all I gotta say,
Speaker 1: So leave me alone. Goodbye, Chips in your quality bears, racists.
Speaker 1: Money can't tell me