Speaker 1: Hello, is this the therapy kick?
Speaker 2: Yes? Hi, who is this?
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I go by priestess.
Speaker 2: Priestess, what's going on, priestess? How's life?
Speaker 1: Ah? Well, life, it's amazing, but also as it goes,
Speaker 1: there's always craziness going on.
Speaker 2: You texted me and you said that my dad has
Speaker 2: become my basement dweller, and the husband is pissed.
Speaker 1: Yes, essentially, unfortunately, my dad faced a situation where he
Speaker 1: lost his home and in a three day notice, I
Speaker 1: ended up moving him into our house and unfortunately and
Speaker 1: unfinished basement, just because he had nowhere else to go.
Speaker 1: And the husband is it's been three months and he's
Speaker 1: a really get impatient as far as you know, get
Speaker 1: more space back. And we also have a roommate that
Speaker 1: we were in a room too, in one bathroom, so
Speaker 1: kind of a tricky situation.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. How long has he been there for? You said.
Speaker 1: About three months? And where I'm struggling and why I
Speaker 1: joke and like affectionately like I love my dad. There
Speaker 1: has been many many years of like he was my
Speaker 1: best friend for a lot of it. I had divorced
Speaker 1: parents and that always creates a tricky situation. There's been
Speaker 1: some good times, but there's also been some really low
Speaker 1: low especially between me and my dad. So it's been
Speaker 1: like tough for me. My husband is definitely pissed, but
Speaker 1: it's been a little tough for me and sometimes triggering
Speaker 1: because like, you know, I guess I've forgiven him my
Speaker 1: dad for some things, and I sincerely do want to
Speaker 1: help him, but at the same time, I feel like
Speaker 1: some things aren't being respected, like it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's my space, so that they're that weird dynamic of yeah,
Speaker 1: like trying to deal with that and like wanting to
Speaker 1: help him also not because he's kind of not in
Speaker 1: like I don't think he's really left even his house
Speaker 1: much for ten years, and trying to tell somebody because
Speaker 1: he was a caretaker for my grandma, and trying to
Speaker 1: tell somebody like, oh, yeah, I know you, you know, you're
Speaker 1: not used to just being in society and stuff much,
Speaker 1: but like you gotta get a job and figure stuff out.
Speaker 1: Like I've tried helping him by helping him jobs. They're
Speaker 1: just trying to help him get medical stuff, trying to
Speaker 1: do things in like a nice way, and that doesn't
Speaker 1: seem to help. So I'm kind of stuck in a
Speaker 1: tough place because I understand, like it's got to be
Speaker 1: like I just had a baby same time he moved
Speaker 1: in pretty much or first, and like, uh, it's it's
Speaker 1: like I want to help, but also boundaries and I
Speaker 1: got to put my husband and my baby first.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm does he So what has he been doing that? Like?
Speaker 2: Is uh is disrespecting the boundaries?
Speaker 1: Well, like, uh, there was an instance of you know,
Speaker 1: some things that are out of place or not done
Speaker 1: a certain way that the husband likes, and you know,
Speaker 1: I try to communicate it to the husband or to
Speaker 1: my father and he kind of gets this attitude of like,
Speaker 1: oh we did just talking to me himself and like
Speaker 1: you know, he's being a bitch or something. I'm like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: first of all, don't even say that, like I want
Speaker 1: to like chicken myriad. Then when he said something like that,
Speaker 1: but you know, or or just like some things in
Speaker 1: the past have come up, like I just want to
Speaker 1: start off with like the reason I give my dad
Speaker 1: she and stuff, it's because he has built the foundation
Speaker 1: in me as a person to be a strong person
Speaker 1: and loving towards people and things. But like on the
Speaker 1: other side, sometimes I suspect maybe he's like got something
Speaker 1: like not to diagnose or anything, but like bipolar or
Speaker 1: something going on. Yeah, And because on the other side,
Speaker 1: like you know, when I was living with my grandma
Speaker 1: and him, like it got so bad that I couldn't
Speaker 1: even be in my house because, yeah, I would be
Speaker 1: late from work and he would suspect that I was
Speaker 1: hanging out with friends or a guy that he thought
Speaker 1: I was dating at the time, which was just a
Speaker 1: friend I wasn't dating and wasn't and so like I'd
Speaker 1: come home to my shit torn up and like being
Speaker 1: called you know words, which it was pretty bad. It
Speaker 1: got like that's the toxic part of and so he
Speaker 1: like where I feel disrespected? Is it came up once
Speaker 1: he said, well I had to do that to get
Speaker 1: you out of the house. And I'm like, like I
Speaker 1: had to be just like, okay, you need to leave
Speaker 1: my space because I'm about to go off on you
Speaker 1: because that like you could just tell me to move out.
Speaker 1: You didn't need to do all that.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm Okay, So like do you confront him about
Speaker 2: this stuff? Do you say, like, hey, you can't be
Speaker 2: doing this ship you gotta if you're gonna stay with me.
Speaker 2: You gotta do X, Y and Z.
Speaker 1: Yes. I I well, I should say I should. I
Speaker 1: try to, but I feel like I get talked at
Speaker 1: and interrupted, like I never get a chance to just
Speaker 1: sit down and actually say it, you know, or like
Speaker 1: maybe like even when I do get moments of being
Speaker 1: able to say it, it's like I'm being listened to to. Like,
Speaker 1: of course he's gonna be defensive. I mean, he wouldn't
Speaker 1: be when somebody's coming at you like that to where
Speaker 1: it's it's not getting received, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's not receiving it at all, or he's
Speaker 2: like yelling at you.
Speaker 1: Right exactly, and like, so I don't. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know what everyone's gonna say. I know it's like just
Speaker 1: kick him out for everything, but it's I just I
Speaker 1: don't feel right about it.
Speaker 2: I get it, I get it. I know, I get it.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm not gonna well, of course, listen. Of
Speaker 2: course it's easy to say just kick him out. Of
Speaker 2: course it's easy to say it's just kick him out.
Speaker 2: But it's easy for me to say and for everyone
Speaker 2: else to say because it's not our fucking dad. You know,
Speaker 2: it's almost like it's like, well, if you're in an
Speaker 2: abusive relationship or something, why not just leave, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's like, well, there's so much like emotional quotent
Speaker 2: behind the logistics of it, and the emotions of it
Speaker 2: are a lot more murky. But to continue with logistics,
Speaker 2: I suppose I mean, how old is your dad?
Speaker 1: He just turned fifty five, okay?
Speaker 2: And does he work?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Is he disabled.
Speaker 1: In it? Yes? Actually in some ways not fully, but
Speaker 1: like his back and Necker feels so bad that like
Speaker 1: he can't even turn his next sort of thing, yes,
Speaker 1: and like his eyesight, like that's another thing, is like
Speaker 1: diabetes is really bad and things are going on, but
Speaker 1: he's also where it's making it hard. It's he's very
Speaker 1: much not wanting to go to doctors because it feels
Speaker 1: like he can't trust them. They just want to pump
Speaker 1: them full drugs, which I agree with him to some points,
Speaker 1: but it gets to a point where like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you didn't make the healthy choices you needed to prevent
Speaker 1: it from becoming worse, you know, and now you put
Speaker 1: your spot on yourself in the spot where it's either
Speaker 1: medicine or like literally lose some lens man like. And
Speaker 1: so I mean he is working towards getting possibly help
Speaker 1: with that stuff, but only because I really really pushed
Speaker 1: it or I have to like initiate. H.
Speaker 2: You know, is he is he? Do we know if
Speaker 2: he's eligible to receive any kind of government assistance? Like?
Speaker 1: Is he?
Speaker 2: That? Is it that bad?
Speaker 1: That's what we're looking into. I don't know. I mean
Speaker 1: I think it is, because I mean the man like
Speaker 1: he's at eight out of ten pain all the time,
Speaker 1: you know, And so yeah, I'm looking into that. But
Speaker 1: I'm also like trying to look into jobs where it
Speaker 1: would be low impact, because it's not not only just
Speaker 1: job for money and supporting yourself, but there's some mental
Speaker 1: aspect too, you know, if you want accomplished, getting your
Speaker 1: confidence back and a purpose and being around people again.
Speaker 2: Of course, yeah, you know, I I know. I guess
Speaker 2: the reason why I go to government stuff first is
Speaker 2: because it's like what's your name again? I'm sorry, I
Speaker 2: fucking suck with names, no worries priestess, priestess. H Well,
Speaker 2: because priestess, here's the thing. Uh, you know, it's great
Speaker 2: that your dad has done so much for you and
Speaker 2: you're a clear you are clearly a really sweet, caring
Speaker 2: person and your family is important to you. But also
Speaker 2: like you have your own life, like you have a
Speaker 2: fucking you just had a fucking kid. Is it your
Speaker 2: first kid? Yes, like you just had your first kid,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And I'm sure that's the
Speaker 2: pain in the Like you have your own life, you
Speaker 2: have your own things to tend to. And I understand
Speaker 2: that you care a lot about your dad and it's
Speaker 2: not and it's totally not as easy as just kick
Speaker 2: him out, but like, uh, it's really fucking hard, but
Speaker 2: your dad has to be like your dad's gottah at
Speaker 2: least like respect you. You know, he's got a least
Speaker 2: give you something because if he's just gonna like be
Speaker 2: the tyrant ruler of the house, like he just can't
Speaker 2: fucking do that. I mean, it's a it's a it's
Speaker 2: a it's a disrespect to to you. It's a respect
Speaker 2: to your fucking kid that he's taken away attention from
Speaker 2: because you got you got to be there for your kid,
Speaker 2: but instead you're worrying about your dad.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: And you're a nice person. But also also you you
Speaker 2: have you have you have a fine night amount of
Speaker 2: time and energy and whatever, and so you know, I
Speaker 2: it's not easy, but it's some At a certain point
Speaker 2: you gotta be like, Dad, listen to you. Either you
Speaker 2: have to like like you gotta do something, or else
Speaker 2: you have to like there's got to be something or
Speaker 2: else he's just gonna keep fucking walking all over you.
Speaker 2: And you know, for the sake of your kid and everything,
Speaker 2: he just can't let that happen. I know it's hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it is hard because there there is also
Speaker 1: like the piece of I do work from home, and like,
Speaker 1: you know sometimes because I'm going for trying not to
Speaker 1: have to get childcare because it's stuff like two thousand
Speaker 1: a month. It's insane and we just can't like deal
Speaker 1: with the morganize things. Really can't swing that. But you
Speaker 1: know it's helpful sometimes like that he can watch her
Speaker 1: like and like the the other piece of it is too,
Speaker 1: Like I mentioned, my husband Bret pissed and I'm really
Speaker 1: trying to work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your husband's deal? What's he said? He's pissed off?
Speaker 2: What's he what's he have to say? What are his
Speaker 2: like solutions or thoughts?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, his his solution is out on the street.
Speaker 1: But that it's not stemming necessarily from the like just
Speaker 1: being here. It's more so for him as there's he's
Speaker 1: holding a lot onto some paths because like while we
Speaker 1: were dating and stuff, he I was I think there
Speaker 1: was a two year time I wasn't speaking to my
Speaker 1: dad and during the time we were dating, I was
Speaker 1: trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma had
Speaker 1: passed away, and like it was a lot of phone
Speaker 1: calls of me on the phone getting screamed at and
Speaker 1: then like like crying for an hour afterward.
Speaker 3: And my husband was the one that had to see
Speaker 3: the one holding together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, your husband, Your husband watched you you your husband
Speaker 2: watched you attempt to get back your Your husband watched
Speaker 2: you attempt to rebuild your relationship with your dad. Uh,
Speaker 2: and he watched your dad scream at you and make
Speaker 2: you cry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he holds a lot.
Speaker 2: Of that, Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: And then which understandably, I love him for that, I
Speaker 1: really do, And I just I was like, can you
Speaker 1: try to please forget him for that, because I understand
Speaker 1: you're not wrong in feeling that way, but you got
Speaker 1: to understand somebody is not functioning from a healthy place.
Speaker 1: And at the time I took that stuff, because you know,
Speaker 1: like he was very much my father in the mind
Speaker 1: frame of like I don't even want to live his
Speaker 1: life anymore. So for me, it felt like a battle
Speaker 1: of just fighting for his life, you know, which doesn't
Speaker 1: make it okay. I didn't deserve it. I recognize all that,
Speaker 1: but you know, I've been a shitty person times in
Speaker 1: my life, and and it sometimes it just takes people
Speaker 1: being there in your low lows, you know.
Speaker 2: But at a and I get that, right, but also
Speaker 2: at a certain point, it's like you it's you're it's
Speaker 2: very kind of you again to offer your dad this forgiveness,
Speaker 2: but you have, but he has to, like he's got
Speaker 2: to do something to right can continue to be in
Speaker 2: your life, you know, because if he's not, he's got
Speaker 2: to hold up here. You're you're you're struggling so hard.
Speaker 2: You're like like you're given so much, priestess, Like you're
Speaker 2: just giving so much. And if he's giving and he
Speaker 2: can't just give you nothing. He can't just give you
Speaker 2: nothing and then blame it on whatever he's gonna blame
Speaker 2: it on. He just can't. He can't give you nothing.
Speaker 2: That's why your husband hates him, is because he's watching
Speaker 2: you because if you're because if your dad, if your
Speaker 2: dad was in like my name is Earl Mode or whatever,
Speaker 2: and he's brought brought you a fucking fruit basket and
Speaker 2: he's like, hey, I'm sorry. I know I was a
Speaker 2: dick in the past, and I I really I want
Speaker 2: to get back into the good graces of you and
Speaker 2: your family. I want to be there with my grandson.
Speaker 2: I want to be there with your husband, and I
Speaker 2: want to do this and that, and I thank you
Speaker 2: so fucking thanking you every fucking day for letting you, uh,
Speaker 2: letting him live in your house and being like I
Speaker 2: have a plant, like it like that because it's you.
Speaker 2: That's why you're your husband's having a hard time forgiving
Speaker 2: him is because he's not like for because he's your dad.
Speaker 2: Your dad's like, from what you're telling me, your dad's
Speaker 2: not even asking for forgiveness. He's just continuing, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So it's like, how can you even
Speaker 2: give forgiveness that he's not even asking for And by
Speaker 2: the way, this all sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that.
Speaker 2: There's no like great amazing advice or solution that doesn't
Speaker 2: make any of this uh, suck a lot and be
Speaker 2: really hard, but I just at a certain point, you
Speaker 2: got to figure out where your uh where your limits are,
Speaker 2: you know. And I don't know if that means throwing
Speaker 2: him out on the street necessarily, but uh, you know something,
Speaker 2: I mean, what what what's out there? Right? Like, I
Speaker 2: don't you know is he eligible for government assistants? And
Speaker 2: you're like, well, I want him to have a job
Speaker 2: and have all this, you know, actually kind of get
Speaker 2: back himself out there, and well, well, he has to
Speaker 2: want to fucking do that, you know. And if he
Speaker 2: wants to fuck he has to want to do that,
Speaker 2: he has to want to improve his life. And you
Speaker 2: can't make him want to improve his life then, and
Speaker 2: you also can't and also you've got to be there
Speaker 2: for yourself and your kid and your hut, and like
Speaker 2: you got to be there for your life, and you
Speaker 2: only have and you you we only have enough energy
Speaker 2: for like so much, you know, and you your energy.
Speaker 2: I don't think it can continue to expand outside of
Speaker 2: your own life at this point. And I know that's
Speaker 2: really hard, but I hope, I hope it gives you
Speaker 2: something to think about.
Speaker 3: Least it does.
Speaker 1: I I appreciate it. I try to operate humbly as
Speaker 1: a person, and like I don't, I don't stay in
Speaker 1: the mind frame of I'm giving so much. I mean,
Speaker 1: I am a personal faith. So for me, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: it's not mine to begin with, but it's I guess
Speaker 1: it helps. You're making me realize, like especially the energy spending,
Speaker 1: because it's true, like a lot of my joy and
Speaker 1: things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff,
Speaker 1: just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.
Speaker 2: And you said, you said it wasn't yours to begin with.
Speaker 2: Is that like, I've been endowed by God with all
Speaker 2: that I am and it was never mine to begin with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the sense of like like for me, I
Speaker 1: grew up in poverty with my new worst parents, and
Speaker 1: you know, I tried some college because there was a
Speaker 1: program where, like your last two years of high school,
Speaker 1: you can go into college early. And I just didn't
Speaker 1: know exactly what I was wanting to do with my life.
Speaker 1: I was going to family law that there was a
Speaker 1: little bit of passion there because of what I dealt
Speaker 1: with growing up. But yeah, I just kind of fell
Speaker 1: off and just went out lived my life and unfortunately
Speaker 1: I had a really bad accident at my work where
Speaker 1: I basically fell head first at least ten feet and
Speaker 1: like woke up, couldn't like I don't remember anything. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even be in a room with lights or sound
Speaker 1: or I am lucky I didn't die. And so like
Speaker 1: I used to be an incredibly high functioning person and
Speaker 1: like now I really struggle with a lot of things
Speaker 1: like just stopping this or or what have you. But like,
Speaker 1: despite my struggles, I still have work because like I
Speaker 1: could have probably gone disability, but I didn't want to,
Speaker 1: Like I rather if I can offer something, you know,
Speaker 1: I wanted to be, you know, be able to support
Speaker 1: myself and not be limited in any way as possible.
Speaker 1: And thankfully I have a very wonderful workplace that allows
Speaker 1: that in flexibility for me. And despite my shortcomings, I
Speaker 1: somehow have made it into a pretty good position. And
Speaker 1: like the level of my life, my husband and my
Speaker 1: house was a whole miracle in itself. How that was
Speaker 1: obtained because by no means with what we make should
Speaker 1: we have any business being owners. But you know, it's
Speaker 1: it also in place in ways where I'm just like
Speaker 1: and I personally have experience where I like, I know
Speaker 1: God is true to where like spiritual experiences and it's
Speaker 1: just like I've that's where I'm operating from. Is I'm
Speaker 1: and there's none of what I have I obtained myself.
Speaker 1: You know, I've been blessed.
Speaker 2: Sure, sure, I understand what you mean, but I understand
Speaker 2: what you I understand what you mean when you say
Speaker 2: that nothing that you have you achieved on your I
Speaker 2: understand where you draw that conclusion. And I feel that way,
Speaker 2: that's a very because I've I've lost myself in a
Speaker 2: lot of like deterministic things and that of like so
Speaker 2: I don't know why I am the way I am,
Speaker 2: and like very like existential shit that gets you to
Speaker 2: that point of like feeling like everything you had was
Speaker 2: not yours. I'm gonna say this, it makes sense that
Speaker 2: you're a woman of faith because the way in which
Speaker 2: you operate strikes me as very christ like. But here's
Speaker 2: the problem is that being Jesus sucks. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 2: being Jesus uh sucks ass. I mean he has to
Speaker 2: carry a giant thing for one thousand miles and then
Speaker 2: they nail him to the cross and he just sits
Speaker 2: there and dies for you know, for what you know? Well,
Speaker 2: I I don't know the f I've never read the Bible.
Speaker 2: But being I do know that being Jesus sucks. And
Speaker 2: I just want you to know something. It's it's uh,
Speaker 2: it's noble. The way you operate your life, it's really noble.
Speaker 2: You give a lot for your family and for the world.
Speaker 2: But just so like, you don't have to be Jesus.
Speaker 2: Let me, let me be. I think in the Last
Speaker 2: uh what, there's some fucking movie my dad told me about.
Speaker 2: I've never seen it, but and it's like the Last
Speaker 2: Temptation of Christ or something like that. Jesus is he's
Speaker 2: hanging on the cross and a little girl comes up
Speaker 2: to him and like takes him down. That little girl,
Speaker 2: I think in the movie it turns out to be
Speaker 2: the devil or whatever. But let me but pretending like
Speaker 2: that didn't happen. Okay, forgetting about that part. Let me
Speaker 2: be the devil in this Canara and and say, hey,
Speaker 2: you know, and that's what your husband's trying to do.
Speaker 2: He's trying to be the devil, the good devil. You
Speaker 2: get what I mean. I'm I'm losing this, but okay,
Speaker 2: and he's trying to your husband. You're trying to be
Speaker 2: Jesus right now, and your husband is like trying to
Speaker 2: take you off the cross and be like, hey, you
Speaker 2: don't have to be Jesus. You can go back to
Speaker 2: what Nazareth and we can have a life and hang
Speaker 2: out with our kid. You know, you don't have to
Speaker 2: be the save You don't have to be the Messiah
Speaker 2: for your father, you know what I mean. So I'll
Speaker 2: let go the sentiment of your husband and say, it's
Speaker 2: very nice of you that you're trying to be Jesus,
Speaker 2: but you really don't have to be Jesus. And uh,
Speaker 2: for the sake of your for the sake of yourself
Speaker 2: and the sake of your baby, you just you don't
Speaker 2: have to be Jesus. You can just be priestess, hes
Speaker 2: be yourself, be with your family. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3: Yes, it makes complete sense. And I guess that's why
Speaker 3: I mentioned you too, because like I, I do, I
Speaker 3: understand that, and I'm just trying to figure out how,
Speaker 3: and I know you don't have the answer that I guess.
Speaker 3: I was just trying to talk and have a sound
Speaker 3: board another opinion other than people that are directly involved,
Speaker 3: you know, because it's emotional for them.
Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'm sure it's very emotional for you too. Uh.
Speaker 3: I mean, yes, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm not a prude.
Speaker 3: So you mentioned like it didn't like close off my ears.
Speaker 1: It's saying that I'm devil saying I appreciate your time,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you remembered my name because you don't.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, Priestess, is that your real name or is
Speaker 2: that a fake name?
Speaker 3: It's a it's a gamer tag I went by like
Speaker 3: in my childhood.
Speaker 1: M hm mm hmm.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if I have anything else. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I have like logistical ways in my
Speaker 2: head of how you could move forward that aren't tough.
Speaker 2: But uh, I'll leave it with that that you know,
Speaker 2: you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep
Speaker 2: everyone else warm all that stuff. Is there anything else
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 2: before we go, priestis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I guess I would just say that no
Speaker 1: matter what dark room you feel like you're in, and
Speaker 1: you know you feel shut and scared and you don't
Speaker 1: know if you can keep going on that, just keep
Speaker 1: that hope alive because for every mountain or the valley
Speaker 1: in a peak and you know, yeah, it's it's things
Speaker 1: can become beautiful.
Speaker 2: Have a have a good rest of your night, you too,
Speaker 2: Thank you, Gek those priests. Dude, I think a lot
Speaker 2: about the Last Temptation of Christ. I'm going to talk
Speaker 2: about it real quick, and I swear on my life
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian
Speaker 2: at all. I'm not. I'm just like I like this
Speaker 2: story because it's interesting because that's all the ship is.
Speaker 2: There's nothing like you know, it's not about like belief.
Speaker 2: It's just like these are just allegories of things. But like,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was telling my I would Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was talking to my dad and I was telling
Speaker 2: him I was having like a hard time doing something,
Speaker 2: and he told he was telling me about the Last
Speaker 2: Temptation of Christ and he was like, yeah, fucking so
Speaker 2: Jesus is that he's gonna go die for our sins.
Speaker 2: So he nailed they nail him to a cross, And
Speaker 2: oh okay, yeah, all right, so Jesus is the Messia.
Speaker 2: I swear this is not a this is just an
Speaker 2: interesting story. Jesus is the Messiah. Okay, So imagine someone
Speaker 2: says to you, all right, you're the Messiah and you
Speaker 2: have to fucking die for all of our sins. You'd
Speaker 2: be like, I don't want to do that. That sucks. But
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, all right. Or and then they say
Speaker 2: you drat you'd, you'd They nail you to a cross
Speaker 2: and you're sitting there dying, and they're like, this sucks.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this. I do not want
Speaker 2: to be the Messiah. I don't want to sit on
Speaker 2: this fucking cross and die. And then yeah, and then
Speaker 2: a little girl comes up to Jesus and she takes
Speaker 2: him off the cross, and she like heals his wounds,
Speaker 2: and then uh like takes him back to Nazareth and
Speaker 2: he gets married and he has a kid and he
Speaker 2: lives a happy, normal life. And then later he finds
Speaker 2: out that that little girl was the devil trying to
Speaker 2: convince him to not be the Messiah. And then Jesus
Speaker 2: like runs up to this hill and he starts trying
Speaker 2: to talk to God and he's like he's begging God
Speaker 2: to go back in time to be the Messiah because
Speaker 2: he realizes that he really actually wanted to be the Messiah.
Speaker 2: I think what the story is trying to tell you
Speaker 2: is some shit like and my dad was telling it
Speaker 2: to me and he's we're all Jewish. I don't know
Speaker 2: why we're talking about this stuff. But when my dad
Speaker 2: was sail it to me, it's like, Okay, you're doing
Speaker 2: this hard thing that you really don't want to do
Speaker 2: and you cannot do it, but later you might go
Speaker 2: back up to the hill and beg God, I actually
Speaker 2: do want to be the Messiah. Now. I was. I
Speaker 2: was dating this woman at the time and I told
Speaker 2: her this and she was like, that is the stupidest
Speaker 2: fucking thing I've ever heard, Like, why would you do
Speaker 2: a thing? Why would you like live life in pain
Speaker 2: just so that you can say you did? And she
Speaker 2: was right too. So those are the those are like
Speaker 2: the two different sides of that coin on that story,
Speaker 2: depending on who you are. Is like, do you suffer
Speaker 2: immensely for I guess nobility or whatever whatever the fucking
Speaker 2: thing is that you feel like you're suffering for or
Speaker 2: do you realize that, uh, suffering is pointless and just
Speaker 2: like go live and enjoy life. Uh. I don't think
Speaker 2: that has a lot to do with this woman's story,
Speaker 2: but I don't know. It's interesting. I think about it sometimes. Jesus,
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, crazy guy. Hello, Oh hi to get Ca, Yes, Hi?
Speaker 2: Who is this?
Speaker 1: This is Ada?
Speaker 2: Ada? What's up? Ada? Where you calling from?
Speaker 1: Czech Republic?
Speaker 2: Oh the Czech Republic? Oh what progue?
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: Sweet. I went there a long time ago, and I
Speaker 2: ate a lot of churros.
Speaker 1: Sure really check?
Speaker 2: Well I don't they haven't. I don't know if they're churros,
Speaker 2: but they're like sweet cinnamon cake things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the one that's like a big comb or something.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, the big yeah, yeah, the big cone.
Speaker 1: Well it's actually Hungarian. But we're going to this check.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I mean it's all the same pleasures.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2: To an American everywhere, they're everywhere outside of America. Is
Speaker 2: it's just not America?
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah? Well okay, No.
Speaker 2: I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding. What's your name again?
Speaker 2: You said you said your name forgot? You can call
Speaker 2: me aidan Ada. You texted me and you said I
Speaker 2: fell in love with a homeless man and he stole
Speaker 2: my suitcase. That was the second homeless man that I
Speaker 2: have been with.
Speaker 1: Yeah that happened. Yeah. Well, I spent some time working
Speaker 1: in Switzerland this summer and I was pretty lonely in
Speaker 1: there because I actually don't speak German, so and I
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody there. So I was just like pretty miserable,
Speaker 1: and I was like walking on the street and well,
Speaker 1: I was outside and I was I wanted to go
Speaker 1: back to my hotel but where I also work, but
Speaker 1: then I realized, like I missed the last train home
Speaker 1: and my phone was dead, and I was on this
Speaker 1: like tram station and like there were like some thretty
Speaker 1: old men trying to like, you know, they were like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a ride home, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And I was feeling like, you know, in danger. And
Speaker 1: the only other person on that stop was a homeless
Speaker 1: man sleeping on the ground who was like a young
Speaker 1: guy my age. I'm twenty, and to be honest, he
Speaker 1: was really fucking beautiful. So I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this is my dad's bed. I'm just gonna go up
Speaker 1: to him and be like, can I sit next to you?
Speaker 1: I'm scared and he was like yeah, I and I
Speaker 1: fucking spent the night on the street next to him.
Speaker 1: And I did that again for the next like five
Speaker 1: days because I really liked him, and at some point
Speaker 1: I let him move in to my hotel room and
Speaker 1: I just we'll stay with him for some time.
Speaker 2: This was the first time.
Speaker 1: No, it's just the second time.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and you were living in a hotel room
Speaker 2: at the time, Yes, I'm a fuck. Did I miss
Speaker 2: a part of the story that explains why you were
Speaker 2: living in the hotel room?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well I worked as a hotel receptionist there,
Speaker 1: so I kind of just lived at the hotel where
Speaker 1: I worked.
Speaker 2: Okay. Did you have like a family in the same city.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I was there completely alone. So yeah.
Speaker 2: And how long did your relationship last with the guy
Speaker 2: that you met at the train station.
Speaker 1: Well, he lived with me for about a month, and
Speaker 1: then I was just like then, I just fucking west
Speaker 1: and went back to Czech Republic because it was all
Speaker 1: a little bit too much. He was an addict and
Speaker 1: me too, so it was a very like toxic, dangerous relationship.
Speaker 2: Why did I'm curious why you slept on the street
Speaker 2: with him for five days instead of just going back
Speaker 2: to your hotel room.
Speaker 1: WHOA, I don't know. I just well, the first day
Speaker 1: I had no way to get home, but then I
Speaker 1: just really liked spending time with him, so it was
Speaker 1: like kept coming back and always ended up just like
Speaker 1: sleeping there next to him. I know, it's fucking crazy,
Speaker 1: but the thing is, I have BPD, and sometimes I
Speaker 1: just like fall into like fucking involuntarily like obsession with
Speaker 1: someone who like I barely know, and like my main
Speaker 1: like goal becomes just like getting lost from that person,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what happened. So I just kind of
Speaker 1: went against all logic when I was there.
Speaker 2: And tell me about those five days, were they like
Speaker 2: enjoyable for you?
Speaker 1: Well? It was. It was heart of course, it's not
Speaker 1: like like pleasurable to sleep on the ground on a
Speaker 1: tram station. But on the other hand, I was next
Speaker 1: to him, and I was feeling, you know, I was
Speaker 1: feeling all the feelings you feel when you're cuddling with
Speaker 1: the person you like, and like, I was in a
Speaker 1: really bad mental state back there, so I was just
Speaker 1: like glad to be there with him, and I felt
Speaker 1: bad for him because he was my age and already homeless.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, Yeah, it was there was some
Speaker 1: good and some bad in it.
Speaker 2: And so you said he stole your suitcase.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, so after a while when I let him
Speaker 1: live with me, so sometimes he was just like go
Speaker 1: out to like get his drugs and like beg for money.
Speaker 1: And because I didn't want him to like walk around
Speaker 1: the hotel where I lived with like a pile of
Speaker 1: like blankets and stuff that he would take, so I
Speaker 1: just let him borrow my suitcase so that like it
Speaker 1: would be less suspicious. And then I told him by
Speaker 1: the end, like I'm going to leave this day, and
Speaker 1: I told him which time my train is leaving. So
Speaker 1: but the day before he was with the suitcase and
Speaker 1: didn't come back until the train came. So I had
Speaker 1: no place to put my stuff. So I had to
Speaker 1: stay one more night buy a new suitcase, which was
Speaker 1: like super expensive because it's Switzerland. And actually I didn't
Speaker 1: get to say bye to him, but he still had
Speaker 1: like all of his stuff, like his personal items at
Speaker 1: the hotel. So I had to like take all of
Speaker 1: this stuff and leave it somewhere. And then I texted
Speaker 1: his plug whose phone number I had because he used
Speaker 1: my phone, and I told him where I left the stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I he has my suitcase probably until now if
Speaker 1: he's alive, I don't know.
Speaker 2: So I haven't had any contact with him.
Speaker 1: No, because like how do you contact the almost in
Speaker 1: a different country.
Speaker 2: Really, that's true? Yeah, So how long ago was all this?
Speaker 1: That was this summer?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and how are you doing now?
Speaker 1: I'm going to like I'm going to start like a
Speaker 1: day day program now, like where I'm going to be
Speaker 1: Monday to Friday doing like group therapy sessions and stuff
Speaker 1: and getting sober and then I'm just going to sleep
Speaker 1: at home and hopefully that works. I'm going to be
Speaker 1: there like four to six week a month. Uh. And
Speaker 1: like literally, like after I came back from this strip
Speaker 1: and this whole thing happened, I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the last strow. I'm going to get sober now and
Speaker 1: fucking stop doing this crazy shit.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Who was what? Who was the first? So
Speaker 2: this was this was not the first time that something
Speaker 2: like this even happened.
Speaker 1: Well kind of yeah. The first time was not that serious.
Speaker 1: But the first time was last year. I was I
Speaker 1: was in Lisbon on a solo trip.
Speaker 3: And I just bought like a plea role joint and
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not gonna smoke this alone. So
Speaker 3: it was just like walking around the streets of Lisbon,
Speaker 3: and there was this guy sitting like.
Speaker 1: In front of some grocery store on the ground, like
Speaker 1: big beard, messy, like rasta hair and a cup in
Speaker 1: front of him and chest and like very crazy clothes.
Speaker 1: And I was like, that's my dude, this is the
Speaker 1: one I'm gonna like smoke weed with. Actually he was
Speaker 1: not really homeless, it was more complicated. He was. He
Speaker 1: didn't have a job. He just kind of like somehow
Speaker 1: sucked over the system and they gave him a free,
Speaker 1: shitty old apartment. He didn't have to work, and he
Speaker 1: just sat on the street and played chessless people. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I did come back one more time to meet him.
Speaker 1: There it was a thing, but it was just like
Speaker 1: a few days with him. But this second time was
Speaker 1: a bit more serious.
Speaker 2: I'd say, so, what do you I guess, desire for
Speaker 2: your life after getting sober, Well, I'm.
Speaker 1: Not really sure there's more options in there for me.
Speaker 1: I one I'm thinking about, Well, I don't have a
Speaker 1: high school diploma because I because of the drug addiction,
Speaker 1: I had to drop out of high school like one
Speaker 1: month before the end. So I was thinking either I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to, you know, finish that because that would
Speaker 1: kind of be nice, but also it's scary or I
Speaker 1: would like to. Well, I haven't offered from my friend
Speaker 1: in Spain to come with with him, and I've been
Speaker 1: learning Spanish for some time, so that's like my plan be,
Speaker 1: you know, just fucking move to Spain because for me,
Speaker 1: like Czech Republic is just not the place I want
Speaker 1: to stay forever. It's the weather here, it's not like
Speaker 1: ideal for me. I get like seasonal depression, and the
Speaker 1: winters here get really hard for me.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 3: Hmm.
Speaker 2: Do you still feel like you have this thing of
Speaker 2: like getting really obsessed with people?
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't had it with anybody since I came back,
Speaker 1: and but I went back to therapy as soon as
Speaker 1: I got back. I mean I've been in therapy since fourteen,
Speaker 1: but I had a little break, and since I came back,
Speaker 1: I've been there and I haven't had this problem happen again.
Speaker 1: And I think this time I could just like notice
Speaker 1: it in the beginning, hopefully and you know, not let
Speaker 1: it get too much in my head.
Speaker 2: Do you have a lot of like like you're talking
Speaker 2: about your family and shit like do you have like
Speaker 2: a support system, Do you're like friends and family helping
Speaker 2: you out with shit?
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, yeah I do. I I mean with my family,
Speaker 1: it's a bit complicated, but they're still here, just not
Speaker 1: ideal sometimes. And I do have some pretty good friends.
Speaker 1: The only problem is, like I don't think I have
Speaker 1: any sober friends. And that's what I'm working on right now,
Speaker 1: like trying to get some friends that, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I can hang out with.
Speaker 2: Sober And are these like when you say like sober friends,
Speaker 2: is it like stuff? Is it harder stuff than like
Speaker 2: just like like weed and alcohol?
Speaker 1: Well not, I used to have. Well now I have
Speaker 1: friends who mostly just smoke weed or drink. I kind
Speaker 1: of got away from that, like group of people who
Speaker 1: did hard to drug solready. I managed to get those
Speaker 1: people out of my life. But still, yeah, like most
Speaker 1: of my friends smoked a lot of wheat, and I
Speaker 1: found myself addicted to wheat too. So I need to, like,
Speaker 1: you know, find people to hang out with whood will
Speaker 1: not smoke wheat around me.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, okay, hmmm. What about yourself? What's going on
Speaker 2: with your friend in uh in Spain? How do you
Speaker 2: know them? So?
Speaker 1: Last year and New Years. I was at my best
Speaker 1: friend's house and she lives with a few people, and
Speaker 1: one of them invited this girl and she brought this
Speaker 1: guy from staying there just like you know, f are
Speaker 1: friends for a friend he was with visiting Czech Republic,
Speaker 1: and we started talking and we got like we you know,
Speaker 1: we we vibe with each other. So the next time
Speaker 1: I went to Spain, because this year I traveled a lot,
Speaker 1: I gave myself a promise to like every second month
Speaker 1: go on a trip outside of my country. So next
Speaker 1: time I went to Spain, I hit him up and
Speaker 1: we kind of became very close. I already went there
Speaker 1: a few times to see him and his friends, and
Speaker 1: we do call like every day. We kind of became
Speaker 1: like really close friends. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it's a good idea to find friends who
Speaker 2: are sober. Yeah yeah, I mean, I'm sure you'll be
Speaker 2: able to do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope. So, I mean I did the first
Speaker 1: step like yesterday by well, there's this like uh uh
Speaker 1: center like but said, I don't know how to pronounce it,
Speaker 1: but histic center in my city, and so I decided
Speaker 1: to go there and you know, try to maybe start
Speaker 1: going there for like some meditations and meet other people
Speaker 1: who go there, and they were like super nice to me,
Speaker 1: talked to me for an hour, and I'm feeling like, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe this is the place I can find some new
Speaker 1: friends with like a more positive mentality.
Speaker 2: Cool. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was thinking that I
Speaker 2: assumed that in these like uh sober groups and whatnot,
Speaker 2: that you'd be able to find some good friends.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to like once a week, I'm going
Speaker 1: to like something like you know, kind of like in
Speaker 1: the movies when there's like the AA meetings. This is
Speaker 1: something similar. They call it like the motivational meetings. When
Speaker 1: I go there one time a week, but you know,
Speaker 1: usually I like don't want to get to know the people,
Speaker 1: and they advise us not to make relationships with the
Speaker 1: people there because yeah, because like in this group, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like some people are still using, some people
Speaker 1: are not, and it's not really you know, it couldn't
Speaker 1: end badly, like you know, you met at a a
Speaker 1: group and you just, yeah, it could mean just relapsing together.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Interesting, because I that's that's interesting. They tell you not
Speaker 2: to form friendships because I feel like the whole point
Speaker 2: of the group is that you're supposed to arm relationships
Speaker 2: with people.
Speaker 1: So in this one where I go to, this one
Speaker 1: is like public and they do not like make the
Speaker 1: rule of being sober. So in this one they do
Speaker 1: not advise it. However, when I will start going to
Speaker 1: like the day program, they do put a lot of
Speaker 1: like importance on like the relationships between the people going there,
Speaker 1: because you get tested and like you're working really like
Speaker 1: hard towards sobriety. And yeah, it's going to be more
Speaker 1: safe because you have to be sober in order to
Speaker 1: be in this program.
Speaker 2: Do you have any hobbies of any kind that will
Speaker 2: get you out and about and around people.
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I paint a lot and raw and I also
Speaker 1: like to write, so yeah these things.
Speaker 2: Are there any groups for any of that stuff that
Speaker 2: you might be able to join anywhere in Europe? I suppose.
Speaker 1: Maybe probably there's something like that. Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: do have a lot of like artistic people around me
Speaker 1: in my life, but probably there are some kind of
Speaker 1: groups like this. Yeah, m.
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing your story with us a Ada, Yes,
Speaker 2: thank you for letting me of course. I guess is
Speaker 2: there anything else that you wanted to get out of
Speaker 2: this phone? Call or anything at all that you need
Speaker 2: to say before we go. I wanted to give you
Speaker 2: the opportunity to speak whatever piece you have left.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to tell people like, don't do fucking
Speaker 1: drugs is going to ruin your life.
Speaker 2: And I don't know, have a nice day, perfect, thank you, Ada, good.
Speaker 1: Luck, thank you bye, Ada, bye bye.
Speaker 2: That was Adam. That was an interesting story. I'm wishing
Speaker 2: her good luck on the sobriety journey. I know that's hard,
Speaker 2: five days hanging out with this beautiful homeless guy. I
Speaker 2: don't know why that sounded like that sounded romantic. That
Speaker 2: was like a in my head, I was picturing it's
Speaker 2: like a a Richard link Later film or something like that.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, Hi, Oh my gosh, how are you, Gek?
Speaker 2: I'm good. What's your name?
Speaker 3: Maria?
Speaker 2: Maria Maria rick Can? I is it okay? If I
Speaker 2: read what you texted me?
Speaker 3: Absolutely okay?
Speaker 2: All right? You sure? Yeah, that's fine, Okay, you texted me.
Speaker 2: These are your words you said, Uh, hey, Gek, I
Speaker 2: want to talk to you about being a veteran slut
Speaker 2: bag and getting chlamydia four times. I also need relationship advice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 2: Chlamydia is not that bad though, you just take a pill.
Speaker 3: Yeah, chmydee is not that bad, especially if you have
Speaker 3: health insurance. But I think just being a woman and
Speaker 3: like the stigma around it, it can it can be
Speaker 3: pretty difficult, depending on who gave it to you or
Speaker 3: if you gave it to somebody else.
Speaker 2: So okay, so yeah, where where where do you want
Speaker 2: to start?
Speaker 3: Well, I guess we can talk about being a veteran floodbag.
Speaker 2: Okay, what does that? What does that mean to you?
Speaker 3: So basically, while I was in undergrad I'm currently twenty four.
Speaker 3: While I was an undergrad, I was just going through
Speaker 3: a really hard time and it pretty much bordered on
Speaker 3: like sex addiction almost but not like I don't know, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was debilitating, but I also just had a lot
Speaker 3: of other things going on, a lot of mental health issues.
Speaker 3: But we're past that now. So yeah, I went to
Speaker 3: a party school, so I think that kind of like
Speaker 3: created some influence.
Speaker 2: Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the time?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Okay, I had a great time.
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean it's our bi, it's I think I've
Speaker 2: talked about this before, but look, you know, obviously it's
Speaker 2: the thing you can get addicted to, for sure. You know,
Speaker 2: I've been addicted. I've had t especially yeah, when I
Speaker 2: was in college, fucking you know, addicted to the apps
Speaker 2: and you know, addicted to you know, goooning and all
Speaker 2: this kind of crap. But you know, it's one of
Speaker 2: our like the only true like the only like default
Speaker 2: meaning of life that we have is to survive and
Speaker 2: have sex. Everything else is like we're adding on to it.
Speaker 2: But that's what we're born with, is don't die and reproduce.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very true because like even growing up, like
Speaker 3: my primary doctor was like, and this is like a
Speaker 3: pediatric doctor. She was like, sexual desire is a very
Speaker 3: normal thing, and I like was so weird out by it.
Speaker 3: But I don't know. I was a pretty sheltered kid
Speaker 3: growing up, so the moment I was on my own
Speaker 3: and independent, it was like, holy shit, yeah, nobody can
Speaker 3: tell me.
Speaker 2: No, right right, it's a weird thing, it is. I
Speaker 2: find it so weird that I don't know how we
Speaker 2: evolved like this, like societally, that one of our prime
Speaker 2: like one of our two primary like uh, innate goals
Speaker 2: is like taboo. You know, it's like under the it's weird.
Speaker 2: Like eating and surviving that one is, you know, people
Speaker 2: love talking about food and eating, but like you could
Speaker 2: like like if like if you're like if you had
Speaker 2: a food blog, right and you were like, look at
Speaker 2: all this food that I'm eating and all the nutrients
Speaker 2: I'm getting from it so I can continue to survive.
Speaker 2: People be like, oh, that's cool. But if you started
Speaker 2: a blog of like, you know, I'm having sex with
Speaker 2: all these guys, people will be like what is this?
Speaker 2: But it's like they're the same. It's just you enacting
Speaker 2: the biological goals that we're not endowed with. It's weird.
Speaker 2: They're like on the similar they're on the same level,
Speaker 2: but they're treated so differently. It's weird.
Speaker 3: Well, if you think about it too, like it's a
Speaker 3: double standard because like from a woman's perspective, I mean,
Speaker 3: it's twenty twenty five and there's the whole concept of
Speaker 3: female empowerment and equality, and there's a different attitude when
Speaker 3: women have a higher like body count. I hate that phrase,
Speaker 3: but and like it's not okay, But when men do,
Speaker 3: it's like, ah, you're the man, Like there's no problem
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I feel like that comes from. Well, one,
Speaker 2: I think that comes from like people just being like
Speaker 2: jealous and angry, and then I don't that's the main
Speaker 2: thing I think that comes from is just like again, yeah,
Speaker 2: guys being jealous and angry or just whatever. This like
Speaker 2: general cultural thing we have, even beyond the world of sex,
Speaker 2: of just like people wanting to like judge what other
Speaker 2: people do with their lives. I mean, where do you
Speaker 2: think that goes from.
Speaker 3: Like judgment judging other people's like sexuality. I think that
Speaker 3: just comes from like how you grew up, to be honest,
Speaker 3: because like I don't know, I'm a I have a
Speaker 3: psych major, and I'm currently in nursing school, so like
Speaker 3: we learn a lot about you know, Ericson's theory of development,
Speaker 3: and obviously Freud is a big one too. But that
Speaker 3: nature versus nurture argument, I think initially, I mean, at
Speaker 3: least for me growing up, it was never really talked
Speaker 3: about and I was pretty shielded from a lot of things.
Speaker 3: And but I think depending on if you make the
Speaker 3: decision to you know, leave the nest and go to school,
Speaker 3: and then you're kind of faced with other people's attitudes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm like in shock right now because I'm like
Speaker 3: been trying to call you and I'm like, oh my god, please,
Speaker 3: and then I saw your number come up and I'm like, casp.
Speaker 2: So you you said you had a sheltered life, Like
Speaker 2: what what? What did that look like?
Speaker 3: My parents were just very strict with me. I wasn't
Speaker 3: allowed to like go to any parties in high school drinking, Like,
Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed to do that. Like maybe I would
Speaker 3: have a glass of wine at dinner, but that was
Speaker 3: very few and far between. I had Life three sixty
Speaker 3: on my phone throughout high school as well.
Speaker 2: Wait, what is Life three sixty?
Speaker 3: You know, like find my iPhone?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like find my iPhone but I'm steroids.
Speaker 2: Oh okay. So your parents were like tracking your location
Speaker 2: at all times?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't know, we just didn't really. You
Speaker 3: didn't really talk about like sex or consent or like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, having boundaries like I wasn't really I
Speaker 3: wasn't allowed to have my door closed or anything like that.
Speaker 2: You never had like any kind of you never had
Speaker 2: any kind of fucking privacy.
Speaker 3: No, my phone would be downstairs like at seven o'clock.
Speaker 2: At night so you couldn't even you couldn't even jack off. No,
Speaker 2: that's crazy.
Speaker 3: I think the first time I did that, I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, like nineteen, which is like horrifying, but
Speaker 3: it's not horrifying bad, but like horrifying weird.
Speaker 2: Wo.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Speaker 3: Somewhat? I mean it's it's very complicated because I have
Speaker 3: a sister who's a lot older than me, so like
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time growing up like watching
Speaker 3: how she navigated the relationships, so I kind of learned
Speaker 3: like what to do and what not to do.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. But how did your sister end up?
Speaker 3: Oh, she like moved away, like a few hours away, so.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: But she's doing really good now. I mean she she
Speaker 3: has her master, she has a really good job. She's
Speaker 3: currently dating, so I would I would, I would say
Speaker 3: she's pretty happy.
Speaker 2: So what is your life like? And what what is this,
Speaker 2: uh relationship advice that you are in need of? I
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm not good at really I don't
Speaker 2: I try. I don't know if I'm that good at
Speaker 2: relationship advice, but I'll try.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's okay, I'm just grateful to even be
Speaker 3: having this conversation with you.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what did you ask you? You well, you
Speaker 2: texted me and you said I need a relationship advice.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. So, like I have really bad
Speaker 3: anxiety and PTSD and depression okay, and ADHD as well. Okay,
Speaker 3: just like a whole Like I don't know, you know,
Speaker 3: the guy with the trench coat and he's like trying
Speaker 3: to sell you things out of the trench coat and
Speaker 3: he's like, this is everything I got. What do you want?
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2: Me, Okay, that's.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So there's this.
Speaker 3: Guy and it's been kind of like talking on and off,
Speaker 3: but he has a very traumatic attachment to this girl
Speaker 3: that he used to date, and he's like telling me
Speaker 3: that he wants to take it slow and be friends
Speaker 3: and all this stuff, and we hang out sometimes. It's great,
Speaker 3: and I have a lot of feelings for him and
Speaker 3: he knows that. And I've been trying to be like
Speaker 3: open and honest but also not intense, which with having
Speaker 3: such bad anxiety like I do, like I'm always seeking
Speaker 3: that reinsurance and like I just never know how to
Speaker 3: take it slow. And he wants to be sexual and
Speaker 3: I'm like trying to slow that part of myself down
Speaker 3: and just kind of like redirect my own behavior and
Speaker 3: not given to it. So like I just don't know
Speaker 3: if I should create some distance for him to heal
Speaker 3: and give him that time, or if I should like
Speaker 3: not abandon shit, but like.
Speaker 1: Give it a break.
Speaker 3: But he says that he really enjoys my company, and
Speaker 3: like he says all these nice things.
Speaker 2: Can I interrupt you for a second. Yeah, who is
Speaker 2: whistling in the background behind you? Oh?
Speaker 3: I have a bird?
Speaker 2: Oh well, you have a bird?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I thought that was like a guy.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I have I have a talk
Speaker 3: of teal.
Speaker 2: Okay, he's like whistling like a human being. That's kind
Speaker 2: of a that's uncanny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he likes just saying if you're happy and you
Speaker 3: know it, he says, what the fuck.
Speaker 2: That he can talk.
Speaker 3: Kind of it's not like talking talking like you know,
Speaker 3: like with bigger parrots, like you can actually make out
Speaker 3: complete sentences that they're making. Like he kind of he
Speaker 3: understands his phonics.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: I'm so, I'm he really sounds like a real human
Speaker 2: being that's whistling in the background. Okay, anyway, all right,
Speaker 2: this guy, Well, I mean, look, this guy told you
Speaker 2: you got to believe when you got to believe him
Speaker 2: when he tells you these things, right, I mean, this guy,
Speaker 2: he says he just wants to be friends. You two
Speaker 2: are clearly uh not on the same level of investment,
Speaker 2: or not even not on the same level investment. You
Speaker 2: guys are on like different planets of investment. You're on
Speaker 2: like opposites. And also you you haven't even known this
Speaker 2: guy for that long have you?
Speaker 3: I mean we've known each other for I want to say,
Speaker 3: like seven years.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Okay, have you like been in love with you?
Speaker 3: And there's a lot of proximity and like overlap with
Speaker 3: our friend groups.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, So.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've like witnessed him through different relationships and like
Speaker 3: I've heard things and I'm like, damn this man then
Speaker 3: through the fucking ringer. But I'm not trying to like
Speaker 3: six minute or anything either.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean I think that this stuff should
Speaker 2: be easy. Right, So if there's this seems like there's
Speaker 2: too much this seems like to be too much distance
Speaker 2: between you guys in terms of what you actually are desiring.
Speaker 2: And it's not like this is a guy that you've
Speaker 2: been I mean, you've known him for a while, but
Speaker 2: it's not like he's been your boyfriend for you know,
Speaker 2: seven years and you want to try to bring things out.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I would probably I would. I would. I
Speaker 2: would uh do an audit to see if this relationship
Speaker 2: is causing more of a benefit or more of a
Speaker 2: strife to you, and then act upon that information.
Speaker 1: M hmmm.
Speaker 3: I think there's definitely like some benefit because I don't know,
Speaker 3: I kind of take everything that I encounters the lesson.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've been through years of therapy, so I
Speaker 3: think the good thing about it is like I'm learning
Speaker 3: how to slow down. But there's like that one part
Speaker 3: of me that's like, dude, it's gonna move on, let's go.
Speaker 3: It's not that deep.
Speaker 2: But yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but he's not. He
Speaker 2: doesn't want you can't make him give that to you.
Speaker 2: You know. Yes, he sounds like he wants to just
Speaker 2: like chill.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh for sure.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Where'd you get a bird?
Speaker 3: I got him from a like a mom and pop shop.
Speaker 3: He's two years old. I've had him since he was hatched.
Speaker 3: Now he's freaking out, but yeah, he's just he's just
Speaker 3: a little baby.
Speaker 2: What's the rest of what's your life like outside of this?
Speaker 2: After you graduated from school?
Speaker 3: So I graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I am
Speaker 3: a nursing student in an accelerated program, and I also
Speaker 3: work at a law firm. So I'm all over the place.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. All right, you got a good you
Speaker 2: got a good life. Don't uh, don't don't get too
Speaker 2: distracted from it. That's what I'll say. Yeah, you want
Speaker 2: to say to the people of the computer before we go,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I cut you off. You're about to say something.
Speaker 3: No, it's okay. All I would say is wrap it
Speaker 3: before you tap it and be kind to everybody because
Speaker 3: you don't know what they're going through.
Speaker 2: Welcome. What's your name again, Maria, Maria, Thanks for calling Maria.
Speaker 1: Have a good day.
Speaker 3: Gek goes on the line
Speaker 2: Every staging.