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Speaker 1: Hello, is this the therapy kick?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Hi, who is this?

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I go by priestess.

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Speaker 2: Priestess, what's going on, priestess? How's life?

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Speaker 1: Ah? Well, life, it's amazing, but also as it goes,

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Speaker 1: there's always craziness going on.

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Speaker 2: You texted me and you said that my dad has

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Speaker 2: become my basement dweller, and the husband is pissed.

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Speaker 1: Yes, essentially, unfortunately, my dad faced a situation where he

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Speaker 1: lost his home and in a three day notice, I

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Speaker 1: ended up moving him into our house and unfortunately and

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Speaker 1: unfinished basement, just because he had nowhere else to go.

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Speaker 1: And the husband is it's been three months and he's

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Speaker 1: a really get impatient as far as you know, get

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Speaker 1: more space back. And we also have a roommate that

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Speaker 1: we were in a room too, in one bathroom, so

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Speaker 1: kind of a tricky situation.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm. How long has he been there for? You said.

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Speaker 1: About three months? And where I'm struggling and why I

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Speaker 1: joke and like affectionately like I love my dad. There

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Speaker 1: has been many many years of like he was my

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Speaker 1: best friend for a lot of it. I had divorced

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Speaker 1: parents and that always creates a tricky situation. There's been

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Speaker 1: some good times, but there's also been some really low

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Speaker 1: low especially between me and my dad. So it's been

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Speaker 1: like tough for me. My husband is definitely pissed, but

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Speaker 1: it's been a little tough for me and sometimes triggering

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Speaker 1: because like, you know, I guess I've forgiven him my

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Speaker 1: dad for some things, and I sincerely do want to

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Speaker 1: help him, but at the same time, I feel like

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Speaker 1: some things aren't being respected, like it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's my space, so that they're that weird dynamic of yeah,

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Speaker 1: like trying to deal with that and like wanting to

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Speaker 1: help him also not because he's kind of not in

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Speaker 1: like I don't think he's really left even his house

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Speaker 1: much for ten years, and trying to tell somebody because

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Speaker 1: he was a caretaker for my grandma, and trying to

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Speaker 1: tell somebody like, oh, yeah, I know you, you know, you're

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Speaker 1: not used to just being in society and stuff much,

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Speaker 1: but like you gotta get a job and figure stuff out.

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Speaker 1: Like I've tried helping him by helping him jobs. They're

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Speaker 1: just trying to help him get medical stuff, trying to

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Speaker 1: do things in like a nice way, and that doesn't

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Speaker 1: seem to help. So I'm kind of stuck in a

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Speaker 1: tough place because I understand, like it's got to be

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Speaker 1: like I just had a baby same time he moved

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Speaker 1: in pretty much or first, and like, uh, it's it's

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Speaker 1: like I want to help, but also boundaries and I

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Speaker 1: got to put my husband and my baby first.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm does he So what has he been doing that? Like?

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Speaker 2: Is uh is disrespecting the boundaries?

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Speaker 1: Well, like, uh, there was an instance of you know,

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Speaker 1: some things that are out of place or not done

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Speaker 1: a certain way that the husband likes, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I try to communicate it to the husband or to

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Speaker 1: my father and he kind of gets this attitude of like,

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Speaker 1: oh we did just talking to me himself and like

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Speaker 1: you know, he's being a bitch or something. I'm like, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: first of all, don't even say that, like I want

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Speaker 1: to like chicken myriad. Then when he said something like that,

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Speaker 1: but you know, or or just like some things in

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Speaker 1: the past have come up, like I just want to

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Speaker 1: start off with like the reason I give my dad

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Speaker 1: she and stuff, it's because he has built the foundation

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Speaker 1: in me as a person to be a strong person

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Speaker 1: and loving towards people and things. But like on the

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Speaker 1: other side, sometimes I suspect maybe he's like got something

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Speaker 1: like not to diagnose or anything, but like bipolar or

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Speaker 1: something going on. Yeah, And because on the other side,

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Speaker 1: like you know, when I was living with my grandma

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Speaker 1: and him, like it got so bad that I couldn't

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Speaker 1: even be in my house because, yeah, I would be

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Speaker 1: late from work and he would suspect that I was

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Speaker 1: hanging out with friends or a guy that he thought

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Speaker 1: I was dating at the time, which was just a

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Speaker 1: friend I wasn't dating and wasn't and so like I'd

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Speaker 1: come home to my shit torn up and like being

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Speaker 1: called you know words, which it was pretty bad. It

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Speaker 1: got like that's the toxic part of and so he

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Speaker 1: like where I feel disrespected? Is it came up once

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Speaker 1: he said, well I had to do that to get

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Speaker 1: you out of the house. And I'm like, like I

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Speaker 1: had to be just like, okay, you need to leave

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Speaker 1: my space because I'm about to go off on you

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Speaker 1: because that like you could just tell me to move out.

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Speaker 1: You didn't need to do all that.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm Okay, So like do you confront him about

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Speaker 2: this stuff? Do you say, like, hey, you can't be

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Speaker 2: doing this ship you gotta if you're gonna stay with me.

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Speaker 2: You gotta do X, Y and Z.

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Speaker 1: Yes. I I well, I should say I should. I

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Speaker 1: try to, but I feel like I get talked at

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Speaker 1: and interrupted, like I never get a chance to just

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Speaker 1: sit down and actually say it, you know, or like

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Speaker 1: maybe like even when I do get moments of being

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Speaker 1: able to say it, it's like I'm being listened to to. Like,

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Speaker 1: of course he's gonna be defensive. I mean, he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be when somebody's coming at you like that to where

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Speaker 1: it's it's not getting received, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's not receiving it at all, or he's

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Speaker 2: like yelling at you.

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Speaker 1: Right exactly, and like, so I don't. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: know what everyone's gonna say. I know it's like just

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Speaker 1: kick him out for everything, but it's I just I

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Speaker 1: don't feel right about it.

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Speaker 2: I get it, I get it. I know, I get it.

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Speaker 2: I mean I'm not gonna well, of course, listen. Of

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Speaker 2: course it's easy to say just kick him out. Of

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Speaker 2: course it's easy to say it's just kick him out.

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Speaker 2: But it's easy for me to say and for everyone

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Speaker 2: else to say because it's not our fucking dad. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's almost like it's like, well, if you're in an

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Speaker 2: abusive relationship or something, why not just leave, you know.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, well, there's so much like emotional quotent

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Speaker 2: behind the logistics of it, and the emotions of it

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Speaker 2: are a lot more murky. But to continue with logistics,

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Speaker 2: I suppose I mean, how old is your dad?

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Speaker 1: He just turned fifty five, okay?

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Speaker 2: And does he work?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Is he disabled.

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Speaker 1: In it? Yes? Actually in some ways not fully, but

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Speaker 1: like his back and Necker feels so bad that like

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Speaker 1: he can't even turn his next sort of thing, yes,

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Speaker 1: and like his eyesight, like that's another thing, is like

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Speaker 1: diabetes is really bad and things are going on, but

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Speaker 1: he's also where it's making it hard. It's he's very

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Speaker 1: much not wanting to go to doctors because it feels

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Speaker 1: like he can't trust them. They just want to pump

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Speaker 1: them full drugs, which I agree with him to some points,

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Speaker 1: but it gets to a point where like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: you didn't make the healthy choices you needed to prevent

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Speaker 1: it from becoming worse, you know, and now you put

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Speaker 1: your spot on yourself in the spot where it's either

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Speaker 1: medicine or like literally lose some lens man like. And

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Speaker 1: so I mean he is working towards getting possibly help

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Speaker 1: with that stuff, but only because I really really pushed

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Speaker 1: it or I have to like initiate. H.

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Speaker 2: You know, is he is he? Do we know if

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Speaker 2: he's eligible to receive any kind of government assistance? Like?

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Speaker 1: Is he?

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Speaker 2: That? Is it that bad?

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Speaker 1: That's what we're looking into. I don't know. I mean

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Speaker 1: I think it is, because I mean the man like

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Speaker 1: he's at eight out of ten pain all the time,

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Speaker 1: you know, And so yeah, I'm looking into that. But

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Speaker 1: I'm also like trying to look into jobs where it

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Speaker 1: would be low impact, because it's not not only just

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Speaker 1: job for money and supporting yourself, but there's some mental

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Speaker 1: aspect too, you know, if you want accomplished, getting your

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Speaker 1: confidence back and a purpose and being around people again.

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Speaker 2: Of course, yeah, you know, I I know. I guess

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Speaker 2: the reason why I go to government stuff first is

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Speaker 2: because it's like what's your name again? I'm sorry, I

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Speaker 2: fucking suck with names, no worries priestess, priestess. H Well,

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Speaker 2: because priestess, here's the thing. Uh, you know, it's great

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Speaker 2: that your dad has done so much for you and

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Speaker 2: you're a clear you are clearly a really sweet, caring

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Speaker 2: person and your family is important to you. But also

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Speaker 2: like you have your own life, like you have a

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Speaker 2: fucking you just had a fucking kid. Is it your

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Speaker 2: first kid? Yes, like you just had your first kid,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And I'm sure that's the

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Speaker 2: pain in the Like you have your own life, you

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Speaker 2: have your own things to tend to. And I understand

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Speaker 2: that you care a lot about your dad and it's

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Speaker 2: not and it's totally not as easy as just kick

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Speaker 2: him out, but like, uh, it's really fucking hard, but

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Speaker 2: your dad has to be like your dad's gottah at

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Speaker 2: least like respect you. You know, he's got a least

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Speaker 2: give you something because if he's just gonna like be

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Speaker 2: the tyrant ruler of the house, like he just can't

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Speaker 2: fucking do that. I mean, it's a it's a it's

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Speaker 2: a it's a disrespect to to you. It's a respect

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Speaker 2: to your fucking kid that he's taken away attention from

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Speaker 2: because you got you got to be there for your kid,

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Speaker 2: but instead you're worrying about your dad.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 2: And you're a nice person. But also also you you

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Speaker 2: have you have you have a fine night amount of

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Speaker 2: time and energy and whatever, and so you know, I

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Speaker 2: it's not easy, but it's some At a certain point

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Speaker 2: you gotta be like, Dad, listen to you. Either you

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Speaker 2: have to like like you gotta do something, or else

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Speaker 2: you have to like there's got to be something or

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Speaker 2: else he's just gonna keep fucking walking all over you.

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Speaker 2: And you know, for the sake of your kid and everything,

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Speaker 2: he just can't let that happen. I know it's hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it is hard because there there is also

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Speaker 1: like the piece of I do work from home, and like,

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Speaker 1: you know sometimes because I'm going for trying not to

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Speaker 1: have to get childcare because it's stuff like two thousand

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Speaker 1: a month. It's insane and we just can't like deal

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Speaker 1: with the morganize things. Really can't swing that. But you

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Speaker 1: know it's helpful sometimes like that he can watch her

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Speaker 1: like and like the the other piece of it is too,

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Speaker 1: Like I mentioned, my husband Bret pissed and I'm really

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Speaker 1: trying to work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your husband's deal? What's he said? He's pissed off?

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Speaker 2: What's he what's he have to say? What are his

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Speaker 2: like solutions or thoughts?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, his his solution is out on the street.

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Speaker 1: But that it's not stemming necessarily from the like just

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Speaker 1: being here. It's more so for him as there's he's

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Speaker 1: holding a lot onto some paths because like while we

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Speaker 1: were dating and stuff, he I was I think there

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Speaker 1: was a two year time I wasn't speaking to my

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Speaker 1: dad and during the time we were dating, I was

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Speaker 1: trying to reconnect with my dad because my grandma had

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Speaker 1: passed away, and like it was a lot of phone

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Speaker 1: calls of me on the phone getting screamed at and

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Speaker 1: then like like crying for an hour afterward.

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Speaker 3: And my husband was the one that had to see

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Speaker 3: the one holding together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your husband, Your husband watched you you your husband

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Speaker 2: watched you attempt to get back your Your husband watched

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Speaker 2: you attempt to rebuild your relationship with your dad. Uh,

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Speaker 2: and he watched your dad scream at you and make

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Speaker 2: you cry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so he holds a lot.

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Speaker 2: Of that, Yeah, I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: And then which understandably, I love him for that, I

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Speaker 1: really do, And I just I was like, can you

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Speaker 1: try to please forget him for that, because I understand

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Speaker 1: you're not wrong in feeling that way, but you got

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Speaker 1: to understand somebody is not functioning from a healthy place.

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Speaker 1: And at the time I took that stuff, because you know,

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Speaker 1: like he was very much my father in the mind

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Speaker 1: frame of like I don't even want to live his

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Speaker 1: life anymore. So for me, it felt like a battle

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Speaker 1: of just fighting for his life, you know, which doesn't

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Speaker 1: make it okay. I didn't deserve it. I recognize all that,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I've been a shitty person times in

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Speaker 1: my life, and and it sometimes it just takes people

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Speaker 1: being there in your low lows, you know.

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Speaker 2: But at a and I get that, right, but also

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Speaker 2: at a certain point, it's like you it's you're it's

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Speaker 2: very kind of you again to offer your dad this forgiveness,

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Speaker 2: but you have, but he has to, like he's got

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Speaker 2: to do something to right can continue to be in

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Speaker 2: your life, you know, because if he's not, he's got

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Speaker 2: to hold up here. You're you're you're struggling so hard.

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Speaker 2: You're like like you're given so much, priestess, Like you're

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Speaker 2: just giving so much. And if he's giving and he

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Speaker 2: can't just give you nothing. He can't just give you

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Speaker 2: nothing and then blame it on whatever he's gonna blame

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Speaker 2: it on. He just can't. He can't give you nothing.

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Speaker 2: That's why your husband hates him, is because he's watching

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Speaker 2: you because if you're because if your dad, if your

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Speaker 2: dad was in like my name is Earl Mode or whatever,

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Speaker 2: and he's brought brought you a fucking fruit basket and

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Speaker 2: he's like, hey, I'm sorry. I know I was a

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Speaker 2: dick in the past, and I I really I want

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Speaker 2: to get back into the good graces of you and

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Speaker 2: your family. I want to be there with my grandson.

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Speaker 2: I want to be there with your husband, and I

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Speaker 2: want to do this and that, and I thank you

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Speaker 2: so fucking thanking you every fucking day for letting you, uh,

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Speaker 2: letting him live in your house and being like I

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Speaker 2: have a plant, like it like that because it's you.

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Speaker 2: That's why you're your husband's having a hard time forgiving

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Speaker 2: him is because he's not like for because he's your dad.

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Speaker 2: Your dad's like, from what you're telling me, your dad's

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Speaker 2: not even asking for forgiveness. He's just continuing, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. So it's like, how can you even

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Speaker 2: give forgiveness that he's not even asking for And by

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Speaker 2: the way, this all sucks. I'm really sorry to hear that.

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Speaker 2: There's no like great amazing advice or solution that doesn't

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Speaker 2: make any of this uh, suck a lot and be

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Speaker 2: really hard, but I just at a certain point, you

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Speaker 2: got to figure out where your uh where your limits are,

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Speaker 2: you know. And I don't know if that means throwing

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Speaker 2: him out on the street necessarily, but uh, you know something,

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Speaker 2: I mean, what what what's out there? Right? Like, I

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Speaker 2: don't you know is he eligible for government assistants? And

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Speaker 2: you're like, well, I want him to have a job

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Speaker 2: and have all this, you know, actually kind of get

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Speaker 2: back himself out there, and well, well, he has to

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Speaker 2: want to fucking do that, you know. And if he

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Speaker 2: wants to fuck he has to want to do that,

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Speaker 2: he has to want to improve his life. And you

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Speaker 2: can't make him want to improve his life then, and

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Speaker 2: you also can't and also you've got to be there

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Speaker 2: for yourself and your kid and your hut, and like

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Speaker 2: you got to be there for your life, and you

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Speaker 2: only have and you you we only have enough energy

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Speaker 2: for like so much, you know, and you your energy.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it can continue to expand outside of

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Speaker 2: your own life at this point. And I know that's

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Speaker 2: really hard, but I hope, I hope it gives you

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Speaker 2: something to think about.

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Speaker 3: Least it does.

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Speaker 1: I I appreciate it. I try to operate humbly as

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Speaker 1: a person, and like I don't, I don't stay in

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Speaker 1: the mind frame of I'm giving so much. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I am a personal faith. So for me, it's like, well,

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Speaker 1: it's not mine to begin with, but it's I guess

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Speaker 1: it helps. You're making me realize, like especially the energy spending,

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Speaker 1: because it's true, like a lot of my joy and

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Speaker 1: things were robbed in the process of being pregnant and stuff,

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Speaker 1: just because I was worried about him becoming homeless.

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Speaker 2: And you said, you said it wasn't yours to begin with.

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Speaker 2: Is that like, I've been endowed by God with all

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Speaker 2: that I am and it was never mine to begin with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in the sense of like like for me, I

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Speaker 1: grew up in poverty with my new worst parents, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I tried some college because there was a

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Speaker 1: program where, like your last two years of high school,

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Speaker 1: you can go into college early. And I just didn't

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Speaker 1: know exactly what I was wanting to do with my life.

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Speaker 1: I was going to family law that there was a

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Speaker 1: little bit of passion there because of what I dealt

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Speaker 1: with growing up. But yeah, I just kind of fell

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Speaker 1: off and just went out lived my life and unfortunately

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Speaker 1: I had a really bad accident at my work where

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Speaker 1: I basically fell head first at least ten feet and

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Speaker 1: like woke up, couldn't like I don't remember anything. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't even be in a room with lights or sound

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Speaker 1: or I am lucky I didn't die. And so like

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Speaker 1: I used to be an incredibly high functioning person and

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Speaker 1: like now I really struggle with a lot of things

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Speaker 1: like just stopping this or or what have you. But like,

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Speaker 1: despite my struggles, I still have work because like I

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Speaker 1: could have probably gone disability, but I didn't want to,

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Speaker 1: Like I rather if I can offer something, you know,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be, you know, be able to support

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Speaker 1: myself and not be limited in any way as possible.

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Speaker 1: And thankfully I have a very wonderful workplace that allows

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Speaker 1: that in flexibility for me. And despite my shortcomings, I

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Speaker 1: somehow have made it into a pretty good position. And

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Speaker 1: like the level of my life, my husband and my

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Speaker 1: house was a whole miracle in itself. How that was

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Speaker 1: obtained because by no means with what we make should

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Speaker 1: we have any business being owners. But you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it also in place in ways where I'm just like

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Speaker 1: and I personally have experience where I like, I know

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Speaker 1: God is true to where like spiritual experiences and it's

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Speaker 1: just like I've that's where I'm operating from. Is I'm

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Speaker 1: and there's none of what I have I obtained myself.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been blessed.

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Speaker 2: Sure, sure, I understand what you mean, but I understand

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Speaker 2: what you I understand what you mean when you say

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Speaker 2: that nothing that you have you achieved on your I

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Speaker 2: understand where you draw that conclusion. And I feel that way,

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Speaker 2: that's a very because I've I've lost myself in a

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Speaker 2: lot of like deterministic things and that of like so

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Speaker 2: I don't know why I am the way I am,

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Speaker 2: and like very like existential shit that gets you to

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Speaker 2: that point of like feeling like everything you had was

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Speaker 2: not yours. I'm gonna say this, it makes sense that

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Speaker 2: you're a woman of faith because the way in which

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Speaker 2: you operate strikes me as very christ like. But here's

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Speaker 2: the problem is that being Jesus sucks. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 2: being Jesus uh sucks ass. I mean he has to

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Speaker 2: carry a giant thing for one thousand miles and then

356
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Speaker 2: they nail him to the cross and he just sits

357
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Speaker 2: there and dies for you know, for what you know? Well,

358
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Speaker 2: I I don't know the f I've never read the Bible.

359
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Speaker 2: But being I do know that being Jesus sucks. And

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Speaker 2: I just want you to know something. It's it's uh,

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Speaker 2: it's noble. The way you operate your life, it's really noble.

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Speaker 2: You give a lot for your family and for the world.

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Speaker 2: But just so like, you don't have to be Jesus.

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Speaker 2: Let me, let me be. I think in the Last

365
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Speaker 2: uh what, there's some fucking movie my dad told me about.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen it, but and it's like the Last

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Speaker 2: Temptation of Christ or something like that. Jesus is he's

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Speaker 2: hanging on the cross and a little girl comes up

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Speaker 2: to him and like takes him down. That little girl,

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Speaker 2: I think in the movie it turns out to be

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Speaker 2: the devil or whatever. But let me but pretending like

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Speaker 2: that didn't happen. Okay, forgetting about that part. Let me

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Speaker 2: be the devil in this Canara and and say, hey,

374
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Speaker 2: you know, and that's what your husband's trying to do.

375
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Speaker 2: He's trying to be the devil, the good devil. You

376
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Speaker 2: get what I mean. I'm I'm losing this, but okay,

377
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 2: and he's trying to your husband. You're trying to be

378
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Speaker 2: Jesus right now, and your husband is like trying to

379
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Speaker 2: take you off the cross and be like, hey, you

380
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Speaker 2: don't have to be Jesus. You can go back to

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Speaker 2: what Nazareth and we can have a life and hang

382
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Speaker 2: out with our kid. You know, you don't have to

383
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Speaker 2: be the save You don't have to be the Messiah

384
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Speaker 2: for your father, you know what I mean. So I'll

385
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Speaker 2: let go the sentiment of your husband and say, it's

386
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Speaker 2: very nice of you that you're trying to be Jesus,

387
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Speaker 2: but you really don't have to be Jesus. And uh,

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Speaker 2: for the sake of your for the sake of yourself

389
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Speaker 2: and the sake of your baby, you just you don't

390
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 2: have to be Jesus. You can just be priestess, hes

391
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Speaker 2: be yourself, be with your family. Does that make sense?

392
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Speaker 3: Yes, it makes complete sense. And I guess that's why

393
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 3: I mentioned you too, because like I, I do, I

394
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 3: understand that, and I'm just trying to figure out how,

395
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: and I know you don't have the answer that I guess.

396
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 3: I was just trying to talk and have a sound

397
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Speaker 3: board another opinion other than people that are directly involved,

398
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Speaker 3: you know, because it's emotional for them.

399
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'm sure it's very emotional for you too. Uh.

400
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 3: I mean, yes, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm not a prude.

401
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 3: So you mentioned like it didn't like close off my ears.

402
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Speaker 1: It's saying that I'm devil saying I appreciate your time,

403
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you remembered my name because you don't.

404
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, Priestess, is that your real name or is

405
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 2: that a fake name?

406
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 3: It's a it's a gamer tag I went by like

407
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Speaker 3: in my childhood.

408
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Speaker 1: M hm mm hmm.

409
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Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if I have anything else. I

410
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 2: don't know if I have like logistical ways in my

411
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 2: head of how you could move forward that aren't tough.

412
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Speaker 2: But uh, I'll leave it with that that you know,

413
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 2: you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep

414
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 2: everyone else warm all that stuff. Is there anything else

415
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 2: you want to say to the people of the computer

416
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: before we go, priestis.

417
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I I guess I would just say that no

418
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Speaker 1: matter what dark room you feel like you're in, and

419
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: you know you feel shut and scared and you don't

420
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: know if you can keep going on that, just keep

421
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: that hope alive because for every mountain or the valley

422
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: in a peak and you know, yeah, it's it's things

423
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 1: can become beautiful.

424
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Speaker 2: Have a have a good rest of your night, you too,

425
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: Thank you, Gek those priests. Dude, I think a lot

426
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: about the Last Temptation of Christ. I'm going to talk

427
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 2: about it real quick, and I swear on my life

428
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian

429
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 2: at all. I'm not. I'm just like I like this

430
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 2: story because it's interesting because that's all the ship is.

431
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,880
Speaker 2: There's nothing like you know, it's not about like belief.

432
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 2: It's just like these are just allegories of things. But like,

433
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was telling my I would Yeah,

434
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 2: I was talking to my dad and I was telling

435
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: him I was having like a hard time doing something,

436
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 2: and he told he was telling me about the Last

437
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: Temptation of Christ and he was like, yeah, fucking so

438
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 2: Jesus is that he's gonna go die for our sins.

439
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 2: So he nailed they nail him to a cross, And

440
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 2: oh okay, yeah, all right, so Jesus is the Messia.

441
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: I swear this is not a this is just an

442
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 2: interesting story. Jesus is the Messiah. Okay, So imagine someone

443
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: says to you, all right, you're the Messiah and you

444
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: have to fucking die for all of our sins. You'd

445
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 2: be like, I don't want to do that. That sucks. But

446
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, all right. Or and then they say

447
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 2: you drat you'd, you'd They nail you to a cross

448
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 2: and you're sitting there dying, and they're like, this sucks.

449
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this. I do not want

450
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 2: to be the Messiah. I don't want to sit on

451
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: this fucking cross and die. And then yeah, and then

452
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 2: a little girl comes up to Jesus and she takes

453
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: him off the cross, and she like heals his wounds,

454
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 2: and then uh like takes him back to Nazareth and

455
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 2: he gets married and he has a kid and he

456
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,359
Speaker 2: lives a happy, normal life. And then later he finds

457
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 2: out that that little girl was the devil trying to

458
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 2: convince him to not be the Messiah. And then Jesus

459
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 2: like runs up to this hill and he starts trying

460
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 2: to talk to God and he's like he's begging God

461
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 2: to go back in time to be the Messiah because

462
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 2: he realizes that he really actually wanted to be the Messiah.

463
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 2: I think what the story is trying to tell you

464
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 2: is some shit like and my dad was telling it

465
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 2: to me and he's we're all Jewish. I don't know

466
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: why we're talking about this stuff. But when my dad

467
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 2: was sail it to me, it's like, Okay, you're doing

468
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 2: this hard thing that you really don't want to do

469
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: and you cannot do it, but later you might go

470
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 2: back up to the hill and beg God, I actually

471
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 2: do want to be the Messiah. Now. I was. I

472
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 2: was dating this woman at the time and I told

473
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 2: her this and she was like, that is the stupidest

474
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 2: fucking thing I've ever heard, Like, why would you do

475
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: a thing? Why would you like live life in pain

476
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: just so that you can say you did? And she

477
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 2: was right too. So those are the those are like

478
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: the two different sides of that coin on that story,

479
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 2: depending on who you are. Is like, do you suffer

480
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:25,479
Speaker 2: immensely for I guess nobility or whatever whatever the fucking

481
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 2: thing is that you feel like you're suffering for or

482
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 2: do you realize that, uh, suffering is pointless and just

483
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 2: like go live and enjoy life. Uh. I don't think

484
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: that has a lot to do with this woman's story,

485
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: but I don't know. It's interesting. I think about it sometimes. Jesus,

486
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, crazy guy. Hello, Oh hi to get Ca, Yes, Hi?

487
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 2: Who is this?

488
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: This is Ada?

489
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 2: Ada? What's up? Ada? Where you calling from?

490
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: Czech Republic?

491
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 2: Oh the Czech Republic? Oh what progue?

492
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly.

493
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 2: Sweet. I went there a long time ago, and I

494
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: ate a lot of churros.

495
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: Sure really check?

496
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 2: Well I don't they haven't. I don't know if they're churros,

497
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 2: but they're like sweet cinnamon cake things.

498
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the one that's like a big comb or something.

499
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 2: Like yeah, the big yeah, yeah, the big cone.

500
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: Well it's actually Hungarian. But we're going to this check.

501
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I mean it's all the same pleasures.

502
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess.

503
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: To an American everywhere, they're everywhere outside of America. Is

504
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 2: it's just not America?

505
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah? Well okay, No.

506
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: I'm kidding. I think I'm kidding. What's your name again?

507
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: You said you said your name forgot? You can call

508
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: me aidan Ada. You texted me and you said I

509
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 2: fell in love with a homeless man and he stole

510
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 2: my suitcase. That was the second homeless man that I

511
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 2: have been with.

512
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 1: Yeah that happened. Yeah. Well, I spent some time working

513
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: in Switzerland this summer and I was pretty lonely in

514
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: there because I actually don't speak German, so and I

515
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody there. So I was just like pretty miserable,

516
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: and I was like walking on the street and well,

517
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 1: I was outside and I was I wanted to go

518
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: back to my hotel but where I also work, but

519
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: then I realized, like I missed the last train home

520
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: and my phone was dead, and I was on this

521
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: like tram station and like there were like some thretty

522
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: old men trying to like, you know, they were like,

523
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a ride home, blah blah blah.

524
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: And I was feeling like, you know, in danger. And

525
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: the only other person on that stop was a homeless

526
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: man sleeping on the ground who was like a young

527
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: guy my age. I'm twenty, and to be honest, he

528
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: was really fucking beautiful. So I was like, this is

529
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: this is my dad's bed. I'm just gonna go up

530
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: to him and be like, can I sit next to you?

531
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: I'm scared and he was like yeah, I and I

532
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: fucking spent the night on the street next to him.

533
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: And I did that again for the next like five

534
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: days because I really liked him, and at some point

535
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: I let him move in to my hotel room and

536
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: I just we'll stay with him for some time.

537
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 2: This was the first time.

538
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: No, it's just the second time.

539
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and you were living in a hotel room

540
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: at the time, Yes, I'm a fuck. Did I miss

541
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,239
Speaker 2: a part of the story that explains why you were

542
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 2: living in the hotel room?

543
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Well I worked as a hotel receptionist there,

544
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: so I kind of just lived at the hotel where

545
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: I worked.

546
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 2: Okay. Did you have like a family in the same city.

547
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: Oh no, I was there completely alone. So yeah.

548
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: And how long did your relationship last with the guy

549
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: that you met at the train station.

550
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: Well, he lived with me for about a month, and

551
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: then I was just like then, I just fucking west

552
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: and went back to Czech Republic because it was all

553
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: a little bit too much. He was an addict and

554
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: me too, so it was a very like toxic, dangerous relationship.

555
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 2: Why did I'm curious why you slept on the street

556
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: with him for five days instead of just going back

557
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: to your hotel room.

558
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: WHOA, I don't know. I just well, the first day

559
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: I had no way to get home, but then I

560
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 1: just really liked spending time with him, so it was

561
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: like kept coming back and always ended up just like

562
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: sleeping there next to him. I know, it's fucking crazy,

563
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: but the thing is, I have BPD, and sometimes I

564
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 1: just like fall into like fucking involuntarily like obsession with

565
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 1: someone who like I barely know, and like my main

566
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 1: like goal becomes just like getting lost from that person,

567
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what happened. So I just kind of

568
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: went against all logic when I was there.

569
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 2: And tell me about those five days, were they like

570
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: enjoyable for you?

571
00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: Well? It was. It was heart of course, it's not

572
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: like like pleasurable to sleep on the ground on a

573
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: tram station. But on the other hand, I was next

574
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 1: to him, and I was feeling, you know, I was

575
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: feeling all the feelings you feel when you're cuddling with

576
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: the person you like, and like, I was in a

577
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 1: really bad mental state back there, so I was just

578
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: like glad to be there with him, and I felt

579
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: bad for him because he was my age and already homeless.

580
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: So I don't know, Yeah, it was there was some

581
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: good and some bad in it.

582
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 2: And so you said he stole your suitcase.

583
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, so after a while when I let him

584
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 1: live with me, so sometimes he was just like go

585
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: out to like get his drugs and like beg for money.

586
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: And because I didn't want him to like walk around

587
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: the hotel where I lived with like a pile of

588
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 1: like blankets and stuff that he would take, so I

589
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 1: just let him borrow my suitcase so that like it

590
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: would be less suspicious. And then I told him by

591
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 1: the end, like I'm going to leave this day, and

592
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 1: I told him which time my train is leaving. So

593
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: but the day before he was with the suitcase and

594
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 1: didn't come back until the train came. So I had

595
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: no place to put my stuff. So I had to

596
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: stay one more night buy a new suitcase, which was

597
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: like super expensive because it's Switzerland. And actually I didn't

598
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,959
Speaker 1: get to say bye to him, but he still had

599
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 1: like all of his stuff, like his personal items at

600
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: the hotel. So I had to like take all of

601
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: this stuff and leave it somewhere. And then I texted

602
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 1: his plug whose phone number I had because he used

603
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: my phone, and I told him where I left the stuff. Yeah,

604
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: so I he has my suitcase probably until now if

605
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: he's alive, I don't know.

606
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 2: So I haven't had any contact with him.

607
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 1: No, because like how do you contact the almost in

608
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:01,720
Speaker 1: a different country.

609
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 2: Really, that's true? Yeah, So how long ago was all this?

610
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: That was this summer?

611
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: Oh okay, and how are you doing now?

612
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: I'm going to like I'm going to start like a

613
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 1: day day program now, like where I'm going to be

614
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: Monday to Friday doing like group therapy sessions and stuff

615
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,240
Speaker 1: and getting sober and then I'm just going to sleep

616
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: at home and hopefully that works. I'm going to be

617
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: there like four to six week a month. Uh. And

618
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: like literally, like after I came back from this strip

619
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 1: and this whole thing happened, I was like, this is

620
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: the last strow. I'm going to get sober now and

621
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 1: fucking stop doing this crazy shit.

622
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Who was what? Who was the first? So

623
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 2: this was this was not the first time that something

624
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 2: like this even happened.

625
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 1: Well kind of yeah. The first time was not that serious.

626
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: But the first time was last year. I was I

627
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,839
Speaker 1: was in Lisbon on a solo trip.

628
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: And I just bought like a plea role joint and

629
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not gonna smoke this alone. So

630
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 3: it was just like walking around the streets of Lisbon,

631
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 3: and there was this guy sitting like.

632
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: In front of some grocery store on the ground, like

633
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: big beard, messy, like rasta hair and a cup in

634
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 1: front of him and chest and like very crazy clothes.

635
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, that's my dude, this is the

636
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: one I'm gonna like smoke weed with. Actually he was

637
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 1: not really homeless, it was more complicated. He was. He

638
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 1: didn't have a job. He just kind of like somehow

639
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 1: sucked over the system and they gave him a free,

640
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: shitty old apartment. He didn't have to work, and he

641
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: just sat on the street and played chessless people. And yeah,

642
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: I did come back one more time to meet him.

643
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: There it was a thing, but it was just like

644
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: a few days with him. But this second time was

645
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,280
Speaker 1: a bit more serious.

646
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 2: I'd say, so, what do you I guess, desire for

647
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 2: your life after getting sober, Well, I'm.

648
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 1: Not really sure there's more options in there for me.

649
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: I one I'm thinking about, Well, I don't have a

650
00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: high school diploma because I because of the drug addiction,

651
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 1: I had to drop out of high school like one

652
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: month before the end. So I was thinking either I'm

653
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: gonna try to, you know, finish that because that would

654
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: kind of be nice, but also it's scary or I

655
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: would like to. Well, I haven't offered from my friend

656
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: in Spain to come with with him, and I've been

657
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 1: learning Spanish for some time, so that's like my plan be,

658
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 1: you know, just fucking move to Spain because for me,

659
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 1: like Czech Republic is just not the place I want

660
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: to stay forever. It's the weather here, it's not like

661
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: ideal for me. I get like seasonal depression, and the

662
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: winters here get really hard for me.

663
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 2: M hm.

664
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 3: Hmm.

665
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 2: Do you still feel like you have this thing of

666
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: like getting really obsessed with people?

667
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: Well, I haven't had it with anybody since I came back,

668
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: and but I went back to therapy as soon as

669
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: I got back. I mean I've been in therapy since fourteen,

670
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: but I had a little break, and since I came back,

671
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 1: I've been there and I haven't had this problem happen again.

672
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: And I think this time I could just like notice

673
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: it in the beginning, hopefully and you know, not let

674
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 1: it get too much in my head.

675
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 2: Do you have a lot of like like you're talking

676
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 2: about your family and shit like do you have like

677
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: a support system, Do you're like friends and family helping

678
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 2: you out with shit?

679
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: Uh? Yeah, yeah I do. I I mean with my family,

680
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 1: it's a bit complicated, but they're still here, just not

681
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: ideal sometimes. And I do have some pretty good friends.

682
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 1: The only problem is, like I don't think I have

683
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 1: any sober friends. And that's what I'm working on right now,

684
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: like trying to get some friends that, like, you know,

685
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: I can hang out with.

686
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:32,240
Speaker 2: Sober And are these like when you say like sober friends,

687
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: is it like stuff? Is it harder stuff than like

688
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,280
Speaker 2: just like like weed and alcohol?

689
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: Well not, I used to have. Well now I have

690
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: friends who mostly just smoke weed or drink. I kind

691
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: of got away from that, like group of people who

692
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 1: did hard to drug solready. I managed to get those

693
00:43:55,320 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: people out of my life. But still, yeah, like most

694
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 1: of my friends smoked a lot of wheat, and I

695
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: found myself addicted to wheat too. So I need to, like,

696
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,919
Speaker 1: you know, find people to hang out with whood will

697
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 1: not smoke wheat around me.

698
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, okay, hmmm. What about yourself? What's going on

699
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,880
Speaker 2: with your friend in uh in Spain? How do you

700
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: know them? So?

701
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 1: Last year and New Years. I was at my best

702
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: friend's house and she lives with a few people, and

703
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: one of them invited this girl and she brought this

704
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,879
Speaker 1: guy from staying there just like you know, f are

705
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 1: friends for a friend he was with visiting Czech Republic,

706
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: and we started talking and we got like we you know,

707
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: we we vibe with each other. So the next time

708
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: I went to Spain, because this year I traveled a lot,

709
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: I gave myself a promise to like every second month

710
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 1: go on a trip outside of my country. So next

711
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: time I went to Spain, I hit him up and

712
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: we kind of became very close. I already went there

713
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 1: a few times to see him and his friends, and

714
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,280
Speaker 1: we do call like every day. We kind of became

715
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 1: like really close friends. Yeah.

716
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,879
Speaker 2: I think it's a good idea to find friends who

717
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: are sober. Yeah yeah, I mean, I'm sure you'll be

718
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 2: able to do it.

719
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope. So, I mean I did the first

720
00:45:53,600 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: step like yesterday by well, there's this like uh uh

721
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 1: center like but said, I don't know how to pronounce it,

722
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: but histic center in my city, and so I decided

723
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: to go there and you know, try to maybe start

724
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: going there for like some meditations and meet other people

725
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: who go there, and they were like super nice to me,

726
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: talked to me for an hour, and I'm feeling like, yeah,

727
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: maybe this is the place I can find some new

728
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 1: friends with like a more positive mentality.

729
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 2: Cool. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was thinking that I

730
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 2: assumed that in these like uh sober groups and whatnot,

731
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:55,280
Speaker 2: that you'd be able to find some good friends.

732
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to like once a week, I'm going

733
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 1: to like something like you know, kind of like in

734
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 1: the movies when there's like the AA meetings. This is

735
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: something similar. They call it like the motivational meetings. When

736
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: I go there one time a week, but you know,

737
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:20,800
Speaker 1: usually I like don't want to get to know the people,

738
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 1: and they advise us not to make relationships with the

739
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 1: people there because yeah, because like in this group, it's

740
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 1: kind of like some people are still using, some people

741
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: are not, and it's not really you know, it couldn't

742
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: end badly, like you know, you met at a a

743
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: group and you just, yeah, it could mean just relapsing together.

744
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 1: I don't know.

745
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 2: Interesting, because I that's that's interesting. They tell you not

746
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 2: to form friendships because I feel like the whole point

747
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: of the group is that you're supposed to arm relationships

748
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 2: with people.

749
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: So in this one where I go to, this one

750
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: is like public and they do not like make the

751
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: rule of being sober. So in this one they do

752
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: not advise it. However, when I will start going to

753
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: like the day program, they do put a lot of

754
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: like importance on like the relationships between the people going there,

755
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 1: because you get tested and like you're working really like

756
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: hard towards sobriety. And yeah, it's going to be more

757
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: safe because you have to be sober in order to

758
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 1: be in this program.

759
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 2: Do you have any hobbies of any kind that will

760
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 2: get you out and about and around people.

761
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 3: Oh?

762
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I paint a lot and raw and I also

763
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 1: like to write, so yeah these things.

764
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 2: Are there any groups for any of that stuff that

765
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:08,280
Speaker 2: you might be able to join anywhere in Europe? I suppose.

766
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 1: Maybe probably there's something like that. Yeah, I mean I

767
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: do have a lot of like artistic people around me

768
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: in my life, but probably there are some kind of

769
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: groups like this. Yeah, m.

770
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,439
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing your story with us a Ada, Yes,

771
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 2: thank you for letting me of course. I guess is

772
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 2: there anything else that you wanted to get out of

773
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 2: this phone? Call or anything at all that you need

774
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: to say before we go. I wanted to give you

775
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 2: the opportunity to speak whatever piece you have left.

776
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:58,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to tell people like, don't do fucking

777
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:03,439
Speaker 1: drugs is going to ruin your life.

778
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 2: And I don't know, have a nice day, perfect, thank you, Ada, good.

779
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 1: Luck, thank you bye, Ada, bye bye.

780
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: That was Adam. That was an interesting story. I'm wishing

781
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 2: her good luck on the sobriety journey. I know that's hard,

782
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 2: five days hanging out with this beautiful homeless guy. I

783
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 2: don't know why that sounded like that sounded romantic. That

784
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 2: was like a in my head, I was picturing it's

785
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 2: like a a Richard link Later film or something like that.

786
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, Hi, Oh my gosh, how are you, Gek?

787
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm good. What's your name?

788
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:56,840
Speaker 3: Maria?

789
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: Maria Maria rick Can? I is it okay? If I

790
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 2: read what you texted me?

791
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 3: Absolutely okay?

792
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 2: All right? You sure? Yeah, that's fine, Okay, you texted me.

793
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 2: These are your words you said, Uh, hey, Gek, I

794
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 2: want to talk to you about being a veteran slut

795
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 2: bag and getting chlamydia four times. I also need relationship advice.

796
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's unfortunate.

797
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 2: Chlamydia is not that bad though, you just take a pill.

798
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, chmydee is not that bad, especially if you have

799
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 3: health insurance. But I think just being a woman and

800
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 3: like the stigma around it, it can it can be

801
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 3: pretty difficult, depending on who gave it to you or

802
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 3: if you gave it to somebody else.

803
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,839
Speaker 2: So okay, so yeah, where where where do you want

804
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:57,240
Speaker 2: to start?

805
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 3: Well, I guess we can talk about being a veteran floodbag.

806
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,839
Speaker 2: Okay, what does that? What does that mean to you?

807
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 3: So basically, while I was in undergrad I'm currently twenty four.

808
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 3: While I was an undergrad, I was just going through

809
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 3: a really hard time and it pretty much bordered on

810
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:33,399
Speaker 3: like sex addiction almost but not like I don't know, like, yeah,

811
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 3: it was debilitating, but I also just had a lot

812
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 3: of other things going on, a lot of mental health issues.

813
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 3: But we're past that now. So yeah, I went to

814
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 3: a party school, so I think that kind of like

815
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 3: created some influence.

816
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 2: Did you have fun? Did you enjoy the time?

817
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 1: Oh?

818
00:52:57,680 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Okay, I had a great time.

819
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean it's our bi, it's I think I've

820
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 2: talked about this before, but look, you know, obviously it's

821
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 2: the thing you can get addicted to, for sure. You know,

822
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 2: I've been addicted. I've had t especially yeah, when I

823
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 2: was in college, fucking you know, addicted to the apps

824
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 2: and you know, addicted to you know, goooning and all

825
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 2: this kind of crap. But you know, it's one of

826
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: our like the only true like the only like default

827
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:31,839
Speaker 2: meaning of life that we have is to survive and

828
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,719
Speaker 2: have sex. Everything else is like we're adding on to it.

829
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 2: But that's what we're born with, is don't die and reproduce.

830
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:44,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very true because like even growing up, like

831
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 3: my primary doctor was like, and this is like a

832
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:50,839
Speaker 3: pediatric doctor. She was like, sexual desire is a very

833
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 3: normal thing, and I like was so weird out by it.

834
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,959
Speaker 3: But I don't know. I was a pretty sheltered kid

835
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 3: growing up, so the moment I was on my own

836
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 3: and independent, it was like, holy shit, yeah, nobody can

837
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 3: tell me.

838
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 2: No, right right, it's a weird thing, it is. I

839
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,800
Speaker 2: find it so weird that I don't know how we

840
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 2: evolved like this, like societally, that one of our prime

841
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 2: like one of our two primary like uh, innate goals

842
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 2: is like taboo. You know, it's like under the it's weird.

843
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,360
Speaker 2: Like eating and surviving that one is, you know, people

844
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 2: love talking about food and eating, but like you could

845
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 2: like like if like if you're like if you had

846
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 2: a food blog, right and you were like, look at

847
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: all this food that I'm eating and all the nutrients

848
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:45,760
Speaker 2: I'm getting from it so I can continue to survive.

849
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,760
Speaker 2: People be like, oh, that's cool. But if you started

850
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 2: a blog of like, you know, I'm having sex with

851
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 2: all these guys, people will be like what is this?

852
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:59,320
Speaker 2: But it's like they're the same. It's just you enacting

853
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 2: the biological goals that we're not endowed with. It's weird.

854
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 2: They're like on the similar they're on the same level,

855
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 2: but they're treated so differently. It's weird.

856
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 3: Well, if you think about it too, like it's a

857
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 3: double standard because like from a woman's perspective, I mean,

858
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,879
Speaker 3: it's twenty twenty five and there's the whole concept of

859
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:30,399
Speaker 3: female empowerment and equality, and there's a different attitude when

860
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:34,720
Speaker 3: women have a higher like body count. I hate that phrase,

861
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 3: but and like it's not okay, But when men do,

862
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:42,720
Speaker 3: it's like, ah, you're the man, Like there's no problem

863
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 3: with that.

864
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I feel like that comes from. Well, one,

865
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 2: I think that comes from like people just being like

866
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 2: jealous and angry, and then I don't that's the main

867
00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 2: thing I think that comes from is just like again, yeah,

868
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:07,239
Speaker 2: guys being jealous and angry or just whatever. This like

869
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 2: general cultural thing we have, even beyond the world of sex,

870
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: of just like people wanting to like judge what other

871
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 2: people do with their lives. I mean, where do you

872
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 2: think that goes from.

873
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 3: Like judgment judging other people's like sexuality. I think that

874
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 3: just comes from like how you grew up, to be honest,

875
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 3: because like I don't know, I'm a I have a

876
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,799
Speaker 3: psych major, and I'm currently in nursing school, so like

877
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 3: we learn a lot about you know, Ericson's theory of development,

878
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 3: and obviously Freud is a big one too. But that

879
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:55,799
Speaker 3: nature versus nurture argument, I think initially, I mean, at

880
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: least for me growing up, it was never really talked

881
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 3: about and I was pretty shielded from a lot of things.

882
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 3: And but I think depending on if you make the

883
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:12,800
Speaker 3: decision to you know, leave the nest and go to school,

884
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 3: and then you're kind of faced with other people's attitudes.

885
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense.

886
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 3: Sorry, I'm like in shock right now because I'm like

887
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 3: been trying to call you and I'm like, oh my god, please,

888
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 3: and then I saw your number come up and I'm like, casp.

889
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 2: So you you said you had a sheltered life, Like

890
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 2: what what? What did that look like?

891
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 3: My parents were just very strict with me. I wasn't

892
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 3: allowed to like go to any parties in high school drinking, Like,

893
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 3: I wasn't allowed to do that. Like maybe I would

894
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 3: have a glass of wine at dinner, but that was

895
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 3: very few and far between. I had Life three sixty

896
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 3: on my phone throughout high school as well.

897
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 2: Wait, what is Life three sixty?

898
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 3: You know, like find my iPhone?

899
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, yeah.

900
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,440
Speaker 3: It's like find my iPhone but I'm steroids.

901
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 2: Oh okay. So your parents were like tracking your location

902
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 2: at all times?

903
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't know, we just didn't really. You

904
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 3: didn't really talk about like sex or consent or like,

905
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 3: I don't know, having boundaries like I wasn't really I

906
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 3: wasn't allowed to have my door closed or anything like that.

907
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 2: You never had like any kind of you never had

908
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: any kind of fucking privacy.

909
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 3: No, my phone would be downstairs like at seven o'clock.

910
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 2: At night so you couldn't even you couldn't even jack off. No,

911
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 2: that's crazy.

912
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 3: I think the first time I did that, I was like,

913
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 3: I don't know, like nineteen, which is like horrifying, but

914
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 3: it's not horrifying bad, but like horrifying weird.

915
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 2: Wo.

916
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 3: Uh.

917
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 2: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

918
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 3: Somewhat? I mean it's it's very complicated because I have

919
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 3: a sister who's a lot older than me, so like

920
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time growing up like watching

921
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 3: how she navigated the relationships, so I kind of learned

922
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 3: like what to do and what not to do.

923
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. But how did your sister end up?

924
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 3: Oh, she like moved away, like a few hours away, so.

925
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

926
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 3: But she's doing really good now. I mean she she

927
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 3: has her master, she has a really good job. She's

928
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 3: currently dating, so I would I would, I would say

929
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 3: she's pretty happy.

930
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 2: So what is your life like? And what what is this,

931
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 2: uh relationship advice that you are in need of? I

932
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm not good at really I don't

933
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 2: I try. I don't know if I'm that good at

934
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 2: relationship advice, but I'll try.

935
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's okay, I'm just grateful to even be

936
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 3: having this conversation with you.

937
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what did you ask you? You well, you

938
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 2: texted me and you said I need a relationship advice.

939
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. So, like I have really bad

940
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 3: anxiety and PTSD and depression okay, and ADHD as well. Okay,

941
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 3: just like a whole Like I don't know, you know,

942
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 3: the guy with the trench coat and he's like trying

943
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 3: to sell you things out of the trench coat and

944
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 3: he's like, this is everything I got. What do you want?

945
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, that's.

946
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 2: Me, Okay, that's.

947
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. So there's this.

948
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 3: Guy and it's been kind of like talking on and off,

949
01:00:54,480 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 3: but he has a very traumatic attachment to this girl

950
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 3: that he used to date, and he's like telling me

951
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 3: that he wants to take it slow and be friends

952
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:14,960
Speaker 3: and all this stuff, and we hang out sometimes. It's great,

953
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 3: and I have a lot of feelings for him and

954
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,480
Speaker 3: he knows that. And I've been trying to be like

955
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 3: open and honest but also not intense, which with having

956
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,720
Speaker 3: such bad anxiety like I do, like I'm always seeking

957
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 3: that reinsurance and like I just never know how to

958
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 3: take it slow. And he wants to be sexual and

959
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:40,800
Speaker 3: I'm like trying to slow that part of myself down

960
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 3: and just kind of like redirect my own behavior and

961
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 3: not given to it. So like I just don't know

962
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 3: if I should create some distance for him to heal

963
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 3: and give him that time, or if I should like

964
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 3: not abandon shit, but like.

965
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 1: Give it a break.

966
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 3: But he says that he really enjoys my company, and

967
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:05,760
Speaker 3: like he says all these nice things.

968
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 2: Can I interrupt you for a second. Yeah, who is

969
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 2: whistling in the background behind you? Oh?

970
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 3: I have a bird?

971
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 2: Oh well, you have a bird?

972
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

973
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 2: I thought that was like a guy.

974
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I have I have a talk

975
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 3: of teal.

976
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 2: Okay, he's like whistling like a human being. That's kind

977
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: of a that's uncanny.

978
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, he likes just saying if you're happy and you

979
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 3: know it, he says, what the fuck.

980
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 2: That he can talk.

981
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 3: Kind of it's not like talking talking like you know,

982
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:44,439
Speaker 3: like with bigger parrots, like you can actually make out

983
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 3: complete sentences that they're making. Like he kind of he

984
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 3: understands his phonics.

985
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 1: I guess.

986
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 2: I'm so, I'm he really sounds like a real human

987
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 2: being that's whistling in the background. Okay, anyway, all right,

988
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 2: this guy, Well, I mean, look, this guy told you

989
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 2: you got to believe when you got to believe him

990
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,760
Speaker 2: when he tells you these things, right, I mean, this guy,

991
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 2: he says he just wants to be friends. You two

992
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 2: are clearly uh not on the same level of investment,

993
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 2: or not even not on the same level investment. You

994
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: guys are on like different planets of investment. You're on

995
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 2: like opposites. And also you you haven't even known this

996
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:27,400
Speaker 2: guy for that long have you?

997
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:32,840
Speaker 3: I mean we've known each other for I want to say,

998
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:34,160
Speaker 3: like seven years.

999
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,680
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Okay, have you like been in love with you?

1000
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 3: And there's a lot of proximity and like overlap with

1001
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:40,520
Speaker 3: our friend groups.

1002
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 2: Oh okay, So.

1003
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've like witnessed him through different relationships and like

1004
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 3: I've heard things and I'm like, damn this man then

1005
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 3: through the fucking ringer. But I'm not trying to like

1006
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 3: six minute or anything either.

1007
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean I think that this stuff should

1008
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 2: be easy. Right, So if there's this seems like there's

1009
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 2: too much this seems like to be too much distance

1010
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 2: between you guys in terms of what you actually are desiring.

1011
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 2: And it's not like this is a guy that you've

1012
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 2: been I mean, you've known him for a while, but

1013
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 2: it's not like he's been your boyfriend for you know,

1014
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 2: seven years and you want to try to bring things out.

1015
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, I would probably I would. I would. I

1016
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 2: would uh do an audit to see if this relationship

1017
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 2: is causing more of a benefit or more of a

1018
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 2: strife to you, and then act upon that information.

1019
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 1: M hmmm.

1020
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 3: I think there's definitely like some benefit because I don't know,

1021
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 3: I kind of take everything that I encounters the lesson.

1022
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 3: I mean, I've been through years of therapy, so I

1023
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 3: think the good thing about it is like I'm learning

1024
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 3: how to slow down. But there's like that one part

1025
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 3: of me that's like, dude, it's gonna move on, let's go.

1026
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:12,120
Speaker 3: It's not that deep.

1027
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:14,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, but you can't. Yeah, but he's not. He

1028
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 2: doesn't want you can't make him give that to you.

1029
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 2: You know. Yes, he sounds like he wants to just

1030
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 2: like chill.

1031
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh for sure.

1032
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Where'd you get a bird?

1033
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 3: I got him from a like a mom and pop shop.

1034
01:05:36,080 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 3: He's two years old. I've had him since he was hatched.

1035
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:46,840
Speaker 3: Now he's freaking out, but yeah, he's just he's just

1036
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:47,640
Speaker 3: a little baby.

1037
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 2: What's the rest of what's your life like outside of this?

1038
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 2: After you graduated from school?

1039
01:05:54,520 --> 01:06:01,240
Speaker 3: So I graduated with my bachelor's in psychology. I am

1040
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 3: a nursing student in an accelerated program, and I also

1041
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:09,800
Speaker 3: work at a law firm. So I'm all over the place.

1042
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:11,440
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. All right, you got a good you

1043
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 2: got a good life. Don't uh, don't don't get too

1044
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:20,440
Speaker 2: distracted from it. That's what I'll say. Yeah, you want

1045
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 2: to say to the people of the computer before we go,

1046
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,160
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I cut you off. You're about to say something.

1047
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 3: No, it's okay. All I would say is wrap it

1048
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 3: before you tap it and be kind to everybody because

1049
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:34,880
Speaker 3: you don't know what they're going through.

1050
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 2: Welcome. What's your name again, Maria, Maria, Thanks for calling Maria.

1051
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 1: Have a good day.

1052
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:47,760
Speaker 3: Gek goes on the line

1053
01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:52,880
Speaker 2: Every staging.