WEBVTT - Mom Jobs

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<v Speaker 1>Whine Down with Janet Kramer and iHeart Radio Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, okay, hot Mike, I guys, Sorry, that was just

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<v Speaker 2>Catherine just checking in.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I laughed and then it didn't register, so

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh no, I don't think my mic

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<v Speaker 1>is on.

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<v Speaker 3>No, it's on check check one. Let you doing great.

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<v Speaker 4>That was a great entrance. I like that.

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<v Speaker 3>We should be that every time. Just go he hello

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<v Speaker 3>a little.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey you guys listening? Are we there? Oh? Man? Where

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<v Speaker 4>do we even begin on today's episode? Where would you

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<v Speaker 4>like to start? Crammer? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to start with something called sacrificial lamb. Cat

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<v Speaker 2>we missed you last night.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, sorry, I can't make it.

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<v Speaker 2>I it's funny because I want to believe you because

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<v Speaker 2>I love you, But it just didn't sound like it's

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<v Speaker 2>supposed to be out of town.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, you have to assume. Yeah, it was the

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<v Speaker 4>whole thing. What is with.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's part of this is whinying about it, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't I will, I'll pin that piece, but remind me.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, I'll remind you. Anyways, going on, moving on.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, there's a lot going on you guys.

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<v Speaker 2>After that last show, everything hit the fan. It was

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<v Speaker 2>like a member. It was wild where yeah I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I was kind of stressed and crazy leaving for the movie, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and then an hour before I left for Kentucky, Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was like wait what, oh yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Alan and I had to fire our nanny and it

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<v Speaker 2>was like wild wild wild wild, but uh so we are,

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<v Speaker 2>which I do. Just think it is hilarious because I

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<v Speaker 2>left here and I was driving and I leave you

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<v Speaker 2>this voice memo and I'm like, I just want you

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<v Speaker 2>to know I love you, and I feel like you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing great and everything's gonna work out, like I because

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that residual, like I feel the residual pea

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<v Speaker 2>bottom falling out, can't trust anyone like I just know

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<v Speaker 2>that feeling so well. And I was like, I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>going to reiterate, like maybe if we just keep telling

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<v Speaker 2>ourselves enough, you know, and each other enough.

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<v Speaker 3>Like twenty minutes later, you're like, god left.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I mean, the bottom doesn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Really foul out like you think you don't have it

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<v Speaker 1>together now, let's just throw this in there.

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<v Speaker 4>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just one of those where I because I

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<v Speaker 2>ended up it was such a out of body experience

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<v Speaker 2>where I had to voice memoy you guys to say

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not overreacting, and then you guys were like, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it was something happened that was so wildly

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<v Speaker 2>inappropriate that she did with our son. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>mean it was whether we because we do. I mean, shit,

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<v Speaker 2>I was leaving for a movie and you know we

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<v Speaker 2>don't have help leading up now being in the movie.

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<v Speaker 2>And so but there's there's things that happen that you

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<v Speaker 2>it's an immediate you're gone, yeah, and it's it's sad

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<v Speaker 2>because and it was one of those things where I

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<v Speaker 2>ended up I ended up texting her after I settled

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<v Speaker 2>down because I didn't do the talking.

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<v Speaker 4>I couldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I was so upset when I kind of heard and

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<v Speaker 2>all this stuff, and so Alan did most of it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I ended up texting that night because I think

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<v Speaker 2>there are things that people do on a professional level

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<v Speaker 2>that are so wrong, like what she did was so wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>but on a human level. That's when I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>you are young, and you know I do care about

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<v Speaker 2>you so on a professional level that you know this

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<v Speaker 2>is why obviously, and you know why. And she was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I understand if you had to fire me, like she

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<v Speaker 2>understood so like professional level, that was wrong, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>don't ever do that again with your next family.

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<v Speaker 4>Human level.

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<v Speaker 2>I care about you, you know, I hope you can

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<v Speaker 2>heal from all of this that you have going on,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I really tried to just because I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I am older and you know I can. I could

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<v Speaker 2>have funded the police with it, you know. But again

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<v Speaker 2>I think there's profession, there's a human level. So but

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<v Speaker 2>and then I wrote like a really nice message and

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<v Speaker 2>was she receptive to it? She did not respond, and

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<v Speaker 2>she blocked me because she probably knows what we could

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<v Speaker 2>legally do. So but piece of me was like so

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<v Speaker 2>annoyed that she didn't respond because I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>was so kind to you when you did something, so yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you could be like I could legally go to the

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<v Speaker 2>police and have her arrested for she's.

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<v Speaker 3>Worried about that.

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<v Speaker 1>You would think that she would come back with like

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<v Speaker 1>a kind like thank you for but.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that just solidifies that, you know, be more

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<v Speaker 2>on paper guilt right now? Well true, yeah, but I

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<v Speaker 2>mean she blocked me, she didn't respond back, and that

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<v Speaker 2>piece I was like, damn it, like I was trying

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<v Speaker 2>to because I even was like I knew she wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to be a facialist, so I even said, and when

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<v Speaker 2>you book, so I was like, professional level, that was

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<v Speaker 2>so wrong, and I'm so sad and I'm so disappointed

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<v Speaker 2>human level. I care about you. I hope you heal

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<v Speaker 2>from this. I hope you know that you should never

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you know, be involved in this. And then

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<v Speaker 2>I go, and if you ever follow your dreams of

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<v Speaker 2>being a face, I hope I'm your first appointment that

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<v Speaker 2>gets to book, like just being that's really I that

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<v Speaker 2>was considered. Yeah, and then so then nothing and then

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh my god, she blocked and well yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so I was kind of bumming out, but I also

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<v Speaker 2>understood maybe like why, I mean, but whatever, So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's that.

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<v Speaker 4>That would bother me. It did bother im right now.

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<v Speaker 2>But it did bother me because I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>could have went way off.

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<v Speaker 3>And remind me, you weren't even in there when she got.

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<v Speaker 2>Fired the first time that she I was in there.

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<v Speaker 2>That when Alan found out, because Alan found out before

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<v Speaker 2>me of what happened, and she lied about it. The

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<v Speaker 2>second time when we got more information and we called

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<v Speaker 2>her in, that's when I was in and that's when

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<v Speaker 2>we fired her.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, gotcha.

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<v Speaker 4>Mm hmmm.

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<v Speaker 2>So but I let Alan do the most of the

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<v Speaker 2>docking because I was, yeah, spoiling. But that goes to

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<v Speaker 2>the part where it's so hard to trust m people

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<v Speaker 2>the hardest. Yeah, but anyway, that's right, children, Oh my goodness, And.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that's even my thing. I'm like to me, if

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<v Speaker 1>anything feels off with someone that's watching your children, it

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<v Speaker 1>could be super extreme, it could be not that extreme,

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<v Speaker 1>but you just don't feel.

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<v Speaker 3>Right about it. You have every right.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I just will always feel that way, like it

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<v Speaker 1>is your children. There's nothing more precious than that. And

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<v Speaker 1>if you're not comfortable with something that has happened, you

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<v Speaker 1>have every right to let them go.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's just kind of a stressful time because

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<v Speaker 2>this at this stage while I'm recording right now, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>we have nobody and Alan has to work.

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<v Speaker 4>I can't cancel my movie, you know. So it's like

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<v Speaker 4>written into the script literally like Okay, all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 4>now I'm a mom in the movie.

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<v Speaker 3>Like she has to go, but like, what are we

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<v Speaker 3>going to do?

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<v Speaker 2>He's got clinics and now he's he got a new

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<v Speaker 2>job doing something else that I can't shaw you up

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<v Speaker 2>very excited, like very excited about for him, and so

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<v Speaker 2>we're just like, you know, we've got a really great

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<v Speaker 2>two sitters that kind of helped us when he was younger,

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<v Speaker 2>so they've been helping out. But they don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>do full time. They don't want to do thirty hours,

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<v Speaker 2>and I need at least thirty So we're just kind

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<v Speaker 2>of figure piecing it together right now and trying to

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<v Speaker 2>figure it out. And we were meeting with uh someone

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<v Speaker 2>actually today and you know, she the girl was like,

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<v Speaker 2>do you have any you know, any requirements. I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>as long as you don't do and then she's like, whoa,

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<v Speaker 2>She's like definitely not.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm like, well, then we're good. Yeah, bar is actually

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<v Speaker 4>real low rite.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, what about frustrating the one that you almost hired

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<v Speaker 1>that wanted more time to take another job?

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<v Speaker 4>Probably I don't want full time?

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<v Speaker 1>Well you just said full time you needed for thirty hours, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so not like forty hours, yeah, thirty hours because.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to have my day. I like to have

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<v Speaker 2>one or two days with it, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>day and a half of them. So during the week

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<v Speaker 2>because I don't really I don't need every day, right,

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, we're we're back to this conversation guys that

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<v Speaker 2>we've had.

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<v Speaker 4>That's all it's on in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>So you know, I feel like you just left for

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<v Speaker 1>the movie. You're like back and you literally went for

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<v Speaker 1>a day.

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<v Speaker 4>Guys.

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<v Speaker 2>It was so much fun. We were at the Keenland Races.

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<v Speaker 2>It was so awesome. But then I leave back to

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<v Speaker 2>go to Kentucky because I wanted to go to Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>pretty much, I wanted to go to the Hope Grows

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<v Speaker 2>event last night for our therapy center.

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<v Speaker 4>You were supposed to be there. By the way, who

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<v Speaker 4>has my Hope Award? Do you have it? I don't

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<v Speaker 4>have her. I definitely don't have it because I wasn't there.

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<v Speaker 4>So last year we should catch them up.

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<v Speaker 2>So last year the podcast as a whole received We

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<v Speaker 2>received the Hope Award, which is people that are doing

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<v Speaker 2>work in the community talking about mental health, and our

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<v Speaker 2>podcast was Us Girls. We were the Hope Award winners

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<v Speaker 2>along with Jason Waller for his work that he's done

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<v Speaker 2>around mental health. And so I wasn't able to be

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<v Speaker 2>there because I was shooting gas lip by my husband,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I sent in a video. You girls accepted

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<v Speaker 2>the award and that is the speech. So this one

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<v Speaker 2>was next year, we were passing on the Hope Award.

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<v Speaker 2>It's our job to go up and present it to

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<v Speaker 2>the next recipient. And person is very upset with me.

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<v Speaker 3>I was gonna say, how to go?

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<v Speaker 4>I thought to agree. I want to just repeat it was

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<v Speaker 4>our job to go. Okay, this is okay. We needed you.

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<v Speaker 4>I even looked at your last night. You wouldn't have

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<v Speaker 4>said anything Splitsville with me.

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<v Speaker 3>I did have to last year, and I really wanted

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<v Speaker 3>to puke you split well. I had to say something.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I did say something accepting an award for sure,

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<v Speaker 2>this is different.

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<v Speaker 1>All I remember is my rings going to target last year.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know that's right.

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<v Speaker 3>I do need you to.

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<v Speaker 2>Really put on your objective lens. When Kramer tells you

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<v Speaker 2>her version.

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<v Speaker 3>You're putting me in the middle. Okay, tell me what happened?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, wait, can I hear let's let's let's start with

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<v Speaker 1>one version in the other version, where do we start?

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<v Speaker 2>We had no what what from my knowledge of it is,

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<v Speaker 2>did you know the rundown of the show?

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<v Speaker 4>They did email us out? Okay, I'm so sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been trying to study an entire script.

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<v Speaker 4>No, this isn't me throwing you under.

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<v Speaker 2>The bus, because I also had to search award in

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<v Speaker 2>my email and like cram for the test yesterday. Once

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<v Speaker 2>they said they wanted us at five, I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I need like a grip on this night, Like I

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<v Speaker 2>that's where I'm at.

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't even know the location.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, same, I was like, is this the Rolling Hills

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<v Speaker 2>Church in Franklin or in Nolan'sville?

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<v Speaker 4>You know?

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<v Speaker 2>But also and I just I just knew that we

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<v Speaker 2>were giving me award to the Next Hope Award winner,

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<v Speaker 2>So we didn't know. Even Jason Waller calls me. I

0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:24.760
<v Speaker 2>was in Keenland at the races and Jason's got calling

0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:26.319
<v Speaker 2>and we were in a break and like hey buddy,

0:10:26.520 --> 0:10:27.800
<v Speaker 2>He's like, hey, so what are we doing?

0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.200
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh,

0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:31.319
<v Speaker 4>for the for the Hope Wars.

0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.120
<v Speaker 2>Like, I don't know, probably just gonna say like and

0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:36.440
<v Speaker 2>the next people are or whatever. Because last year Amy

0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.679
<v Speaker 2>did the rundown of everybody, right, so I thought she

0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:43.600
<v Speaker 2>was going to do the rundown again. They'll probably go back,

0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.840
<v Speaker 2>She'll probably go back like again, nobody really told us

0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.400
<v Speaker 2>anything until last second, so we just kind of thought

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.120
<v Speaker 2>we were all going to be up there. But then

0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.480
<v Speaker 2>when we got there and we were trying to figure

0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:57.920
<v Speaker 2>out what we're going to say, and I'm like, she's funny.

0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:58.840
<v Speaker 4>You just go with it.

0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh, y'all had to come up with something to say.

0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.600
<v Speaker 2>But we didn't know because we didn't know they send

0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:04.960
<v Speaker 2>us her bio to learn about her, and I thought

0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.760
<v Speaker 2>they just sent it so that we could like know what,

0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:08.720
<v Speaker 2>like the capacity.

0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:09.679
<v Speaker 4>In which and why she's nominated.

0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:10.120
<v Speaker 3>Right.

0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:10.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.640
<v Speaker 2>I also was I misunderstood and thought Jason was also

0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.360
<v Speaker 2>presenting to our person name, but then we found out

0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.680
<v Speaker 2>he's like, oh, no, I'm just I'm I guess I'm

0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.280
<v Speaker 2>just presenting to Ben Zobrist, who was a base former

0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.640
<v Speaker 2>professional baseball player and he's doing a lot of stuff

0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:26.440
<v Speaker 2>around mental health as well. He's got a foundation, and

0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:29.280
<v Speaker 2>so he he's like, yeah, I'm just reading his thing,

0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.040
<v Speaker 2>and we're like, oh, okay, we didn't know. We didn't

0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.000
<v Speaker 2>know the timing, we didn't know when to go up.

0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it was like we had no literally no idea,

0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.240
<v Speaker 2>and so Christen's like, you know, do you want to

0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 2>take the second part? I was like, no, just you

0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.280
<v Speaker 2>just read the whole thing, like it's two paragraphs, like

0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.520
<v Speaker 2>you got it. Because in my mind, when I watch

0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>presentations and you're at this point of the program, it's

0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:49.199
<v Speaker 2>it's a it's worth.

0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 4>It's least, it's ish, it's long, yeah.

0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.840
<v Speaker 2>Right, And so someone hasn't and then someone moves the

0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.040
<v Speaker 2>mic to them, to them, you know, and it's like

0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:58.280
<v Speaker 2>to me when I watch those things, I'm like, just

0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:01.120
<v Speaker 2>send one representative, like just you know, unless it's something

0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 2>they want to share, a meaningful story, fine, whatever, but

0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:04.800
<v Speaker 2>like just send the one person.

0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:05.839
<v Speaker 4>So I'm like I'll be up there on.

0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.000
<v Speaker 2>The stage with you, so like you already know the

0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 2>like the first part of it, like just just read

0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:12.800
<v Speaker 2>both of it because like then for me to walk

0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.680
<v Speaker 2>up or like for me to like and I didn't

0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.440
<v Speaker 2>memorize it, by the way, I was just going to

0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:20.319
<v Speaker 2>read that course like there's no yeah, but I'm saying that.

0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:21.959
<v Speaker 1>I would have had a panic attack if I got

0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 1>there and was told that we should to say more than.

0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 2>I Yeah, just read the thing, and I'm like it's

0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.439
<v Speaker 2>just like for for you just to read one and

0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:30.200
<v Speaker 2>then for me to come in. It's just to me

0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.000
<v Speaker 2>just felt kind of chunky and like chopped. So I

0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.640
<v Speaker 2>just read the whole thing just because it's you know,

0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:39.000
<v Speaker 2>I said, then you read the whole thing because it's

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.319
<v Speaker 2>your podcast. But no, it was not me though we

0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.400
<v Speaker 2>all got the award. That was my point. I'm like,

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:46.160
<v Speaker 2>it's not just and like that. That's the thing. I'm like, yes,

0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I understand, it's it's not just my pos like, it's ours,

0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:51.320
<v Speaker 2>Like you guys are you know on it too? You

0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.520
<v Speaker 2>also got the award. It's not just me that got

0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 2>the award. You got the award last year. You got

0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.400
<v Speaker 2>the award last year. So I'm like, and I don't

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 2>always want to be front center, especially in those kind

0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.920
<v Speaker 2>of things that you should like, you should be the

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:09.480
<v Speaker 2>you know whatever. I also hate speaking in Then.

0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:10.920
<v Speaker 3>I'd do one thing real fast.

0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this same I was gonna like the only one

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>that got the award, your name on the award.

0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 3>We actually so there's that.

0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't even it's it's in Catherine's car somewhere under

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:30.480
<v Speaker 2>a seat, So why go through me? And they have

0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:32.880
<v Speaker 2>given you the award and not I don't remember, Yeah,

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.319
<v Speaker 2>they definitely regardless, I don't know who they gave it.

0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:35.760
<v Speaker 4>I didn't.

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't remember.

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't like they didn't really Amy just kind of

0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.600
<v Speaker 2>called us all up together. So it's just was like weird,

0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:44.640
<v Speaker 2>Like it was just weird, like I didn't know the

0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:48.000
<v Speaker 2>run of it, wasn't organized in that piece of.

0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:50.680
<v Speaker 1>It actually say real fast, I even remember last year

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 1>not having a clue when we even went up, yeah,

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:54.200
<v Speaker 1>or like how we got up.

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:57.839
<v Speaker 2>And it or like a little bit even more I

0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:01.640
<v Speaker 2>could this year, like to the point where like Jason

0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:06.280
<v Speaker 2>introduces Ben and Ben stay seated and then Jason assos it.

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:07.720
<v Speaker 4>I thought he was coming. So that's why I was like,

0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:08.839
<v Speaker 4>that's where I just like froze.

0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I phrase, and so then Jason's like ladies,

0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:14.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh okay, Like but to have

0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.480
<v Speaker 2>someone talk about you publicly and you just sit there

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 2>and wait your turn. And then we talked about the

0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 2>other one publicly and then they both came up.

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:24.600
<v Speaker 4>No, we didn't need to wait, so did Janna?

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:25.440
<v Speaker 3>So you went up?

0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.280
<v Speaker 1>I thought you said you did. You said went up, Sorry, okay,

0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:29.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm following.

0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:31.240
<v Speaker 3>She still thought. Then didn't go up.

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeh. Janna's so like Jana's wedding rested behind you and

0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 1>you talked got us. I'm there, yeah, no, no, no, I'm

0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 1>just setting one representative. Okay, so you said, so I

0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:44.320
<v Speaker 1>even thought I'll ask. I was like, I bet sports Alan,

0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, like coach Allen. I thought if I could

0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.440
<v Speaker 1>just get in super striker mode if I was like, hey,

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, does Alan know that you're not talking all

0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:51.160
<v Speaker 1>up there?

0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:52.840
<v Speaker 2>You know? And she was like and I tapped on

0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:54.480
<v Speaker 2>alan shoulder. I was like, is she's not going to talk?

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:56.680
<v Speaker 2>And he's like he whispers her a year.

0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:57.080
<v Speaker 4>They laughed.

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.120
<v Speaker 2>She's like, yeah, I'm still not talking. I'm like, okay,

0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.120
<v Speaker 2>I and she kept going, but I'm in the award.

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was like, I'm the one giving

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 2>the award, you know what I mean?

0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:10.479
<v Speaker 4>Like that like that was like, actually I didn't.

0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.480
<v Speaker 2>See the point of And I asked Alan after He's

0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:13.640
<v Speaker 2>like it's like either way.

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:14.840
<v Speaker 4>He's like, you know, so.

0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I said, I'm just reading it. You go read it.

0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.280
<v Speaker 2>I just I'll stand there and hold the award. Didn't

0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:22.600
<v Speaker 2>do it anyways. I called myself the sacrificial lamb. I

0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 2>was like, here we go, I'm back up there. And

0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 2>I was spicy coming in cat oh was She's spicy.

0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.920
<v Speaker 2>She was spicy. I said, the irony that I'm on

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.000
<v Speaker 2>the verge of a mental breakdown going to a mental

0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:42.280
<v Speaker 2>health advocacy program is like not lost, Tony. I was spicy,

0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.240
<v Speaker 2>and I wanted to be in this like holy place

0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 2>where everyone was like really getting emotional, and I just was,

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:52.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know what's happened. If I'm

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.000
<v Speaker 2>being so honest though, like I know my face is

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:56.600
<v Speaker 2>right here, but I don't like it.

0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:58.160
<v Speaker 4>To make it about it, I know you don't, So

0:15:58.240 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 4>that is why if.

0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm being honest, I was like, I want you to

0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 2>have your moment to like and I'm there, I'm there.

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 1>Let me see what I'm also saying preface this by

0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 1>you don't necessarily want it that way.

0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.800
<v Speaker 3>It's just the reality. It just is.

0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:15.560
<v Speaker 1>I know you don't want it that way. You even

0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.760
<v Speaker 1>send us things like hey girl, like we I know that, Like,

0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:20.920
<v Speaker 1>I know you don't want it that way. We actually

0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.520
<v Speaker 1>the least artist artist. I know you want it so

0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:28.720
<v Speaker 1>much to be us three that's just not always the reality, which.

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.560
<v Speaker 3>You know I'm good with. I'm not like complaining about.

0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:35.120
<v Speaker 1>But the honest to God's truth is the reality of

0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.920
<v Speaker 1>your face is the one. You're the one that brings

0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:41.680
<v Speaker 1>in because you have the following. So that's just the reality.

0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 1>I know you don't like it that way. You would

0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 1>love for us all. You would literally bring anyone into

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.760
<v Speaker 1>your to want that. Like, let me be clear. So

0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.440
<v Speaker 1>when I say that, I don't mean it in that way.

0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.640
<v Speaker 3>I know you don't want it that way. It's just

0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:54.240
<v Speaker 3>kind of the reality of what it is.

0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.280
<v Speaker 2>But in like that night, I'm like, let's say, but

0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.840
<v Speaker 2>I hear your like for that, I get that, you

0:16:58.880 --> 0:16:59.320
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, the reading loud, for the read aloud.

0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I'm not.

0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.399
<v Speaker 2>You're just so good with your words. I'm not great

0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:09.320
<v Speaker 2>in that space when it's when I don't really know

0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:11.800
<v Speaker 2>what I'm saying, like you're you like, even if the

0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:13.879
<v Speaker 2>last thing you said was so well said, I'm like,

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.680
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't said that. I'd have been like, here your word.

0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I honestly like, I hate talking on stage.

0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:23.439
<v Speaker 1>Janna really doesn't like it either, go figure, you know.

0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like she's the artist, but she doesn't like it.

0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.240
<v Speaker 1>She doesn't enjoy it either. It makes her uncomfortable. And

0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 1>so I do think to a fault sometimes again, I

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.679
<v Speaker 1>wasn't there, so I'm not, but like you know, I

0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:34.840
<v Speaker 1>fall back on you, like, man, Kristen's so good at this,

0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.520
<v Speaker 1>She's so great. It's like such a strength of yours

0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 1>that I do think that it can If I were

0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.439
<v Speaker 1>there one hundred percent, I would have been like, oh,

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.400
<v Speaker 1>christ I's got this, and it's in a positive way.

0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:49.320
<v Speaker 1>It's like you're just so good at this, and I'm

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:50.840
<v Speaker 1>so uncomfortable.

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:52.080
<v Speaker 3>I think I thought good at this.

0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry the unsturdy coming in for sure, Like you

0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 2>know that feeling where you're just like could cry at

0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.040
<v Speaker 2>any moment, absolutely, like right.

0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.239
<v Speaker 1>Now, well, and those things are going to happen. We're

0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 1>going to be in bad places and the things are

0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:06.159
<v Speaker 1>going to happen. But I want you to see that

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 1>I believe if I were there, that this intention was

0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.359
<v Speaker 1>is that you're just so good at this, And I

0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 1>did feel that way out like this, I mean, you know,

0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:18.120
<v Speaker 1>like so I do feel like I would have probably

0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.120
<v Speaker 1>done the same thing. Obviously, I didn't want to speak

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.400
<v Speaker 1>when I had to do the award you talked for like,

0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 1>I think we had one minute and I was like, great,

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.040
<v Speaker 1>you've got fifty five seconds and I've got five seconds.

0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:28.399
<v Speaker 2>And the only way that I could do it that

0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:30.200
<v Speaker 2>I felt comfortable was because I sent in a video

0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:32.840
<v Speaker 2>from from Morgantown, West Virginia, you know what I mean,

0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 2>And I redid it twenty million footing time. Yeah, And

0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:38.439
<v Speaker 2>I will say I did have this moment last night

0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:40.000
<v Speaker 2>where I was like, I just need to get out

0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.120
<v Speaker 2>of my own way because I had the other part

0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.800
<v Speaker 2>about this is it wasn't like it wasn't a free

0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:47.480
<v Speaker 2>like I didn't get to go up and like say

0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.440
<v Speaker 2>much or make a joke like it didn't fit. That's

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.560
<v Speaker 2>when I almost wanted to come up because I knew.

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:54.159
<v Speaker 2>I was like I don't get to like break the

0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:56.320
<v Speaker 2>ice or make a funny joke or like you know,

0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:59.040
<v Speaker 2>like I And you know, one thing that's like really

0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:03.760
<v Speaker 2>interesting about all us, like sometimes when you're you have

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 2>a strength, then you're leaned on a lot for that strength.

0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:08.440
<v Speaker 3>But that can feel like a lot of pressure.

0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:12.159
<v Speaker 1>For instance, you are the obviously the face and the

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:15.360
<v Speaker 1>glue of this podcast, and so we lean on you

0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:19.080
<v Speaker 1>because it's essentially you started this podcast. It's you know,

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:21.159
<v Speaker 1>and that can be a lot of pressure at times.

0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.840
<v Speaker 1>You're really good at going on stage and talking or whatever.

0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:26.600
<v Speaker 1>But in that night, you weren't having a great night

0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 1>and it felt like a lot of pressure and you

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:28.320
<v Speaker 1>didn't want.

0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 4>That pressure down. And I'm sorry you didn't let me down.

0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:31.440
<v Speaker 4>I did.

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 2>I should have. I should have. You really had my

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:36.480
<v Speaker 2>own stuff aside. But I also I had those other asterisks.

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I was like, no, I want her to have her moment,

0:19:37.960 --> 0:19:39.960
<v Speaker 2>and like you, I didn't take it like. I just

0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:41.720
<v Speaker 2>kept making jokes. I was like cream or just anything,

0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:44.640
<v Speaker 2>because I'm also like, it isn't my podcast, you know, like.

0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:47.960
<v Speaker 3>And I get that feeling too, Like I was like, are.

0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:49.840
<v Speaker 4>They just like is this gonna be? I don't know.

0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:52.919
<v Speaker 2>It was really we really just laughed a lot about it,

0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.320
<v Speaker 2>Like I kept sliding the phone laughing because I'm joking.

0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:58.320
<v Speaker 2>But then I was like at them when it happened

0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:00.960
<v Speaker 2>because of how awkward the the whole stuff was. I

0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:03.399
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, she's mad. I even texted Catherine and

0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 2>was like, I think that was actually mad at me. No,

0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:08.359
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't mad, Grison. Yeah, I really wasn't mad at you.

0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:12.640
<v Speaker 2>I I want to share them before, but I don't

0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:15.920
<v Speaker 2>want to. Well, I think that before is a really

0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:19.000
<v Speaker 2>I know, but it's dumb, but it's not dumb.

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:22.520
<v Speaker 1>But it's always it's like reasons why we react to things.

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:23.800
<v Speaker 3>Again, maybe we.

0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:25.200
<v Speaker 4>Can move into wine about it.

0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:29.280
<v Speaker 3>Okay, okay, let's.

0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 2>Take a break and get to wine about it. Dearest listeners.

0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:46.399
<v Speaker 2>We are now in wine about it. And there is

0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:48.120
<v Speaker 2>a good chance that I might be in my pre

0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:50.879
<v Speaker 2>minstrel cycle. And that is why this is so emotionally driven.

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:54.720
<v Speaker 2>So I had a dress that I hadn't worn, and

0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:56.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, this will be perfect for Hope grows.

0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:59.879
<v Speaker 4>It felt like it made me feel condensed, and it

0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:01.200
<v Speaker 4>long sleeve, and I.

0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:04.720
<v Speaker 2>Just felt like like it would I felt like I

0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:06.760
<v Speaker 2>could just be myself. I didn't have to worry. You're

0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:08.640
<v Speaker 2>not wondering like if things are hanging out or tucked

0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:11.800
<v Speaker 2>in whatever. And when I tried to try it on

0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:14.440
<v Speaker 2>earlier in the week, I couldn't zip it up.

0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.719
<v Speaker 4>Okay, that's a little listen. I do not think I'm

0:21:18.760 --> 0:21:20.000
<v Speaker 4>a big person. I'm not.

0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:21.960
<v Speaker 3>I just was like, oh, that's.

0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Disappointing, right, So I thought I'll give it a couple

0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.679
<v Speaker 2>of days, you know, I'll like water weight whatever, and

0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I'll put on spanks and I'll try again. Hope Awards day,

0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.679
<v Speaker 2>Well I did, and I busted the zipper trying to

0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:39.439
<v Speaker 2>put it up. So I wrote to jan I go,

0:21:39.680 --> 0:21:41.879
<v Speaker 2>what are you wearing? Because at one point her and

0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 2>I had talked about it. I'm not laughing at it,

0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:47.600
<v Speaker 2>I know, and I busted the zip. Yeah, it was

0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:48.440
<v Speaker 2>a comedy moment.

0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:49.080
<v Speaker 4>Listen.

0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:52.119
<v Speaker 2>Also, I like pinky swear on Life Bible. I was

0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:54.000
<v Speaker 2>not mad at her last night at all. I just

0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:55.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, I don't think they're here to see me,

0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.320
<v Speaker 2>so I'd like that to just like get up there,

0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 2>read the bio, read aloud. Anyways, So I busted the zipper.

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:06.879
<v Speaker 2>Well that's all happening. Preston originally couldn't come with me,

0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:10.080
<v Speaker 2>which or originally he could come with me. Then he

0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 2>booked a show, so I took my RSVP down to one,

0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:18.080
<v Speaker 2>and then I tried to add one a couple weeks

0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:20.520
<v Speaker 2>ago because I thought maybe I was assuming you and

0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Nick were coming her and Alan, and I'm like, maybe

0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:24.919
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to sit alone. I default two alone

0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:29.960
<v Speaker 2>always I do everything alone. So but I'm trying this

0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:32.439
<v Speaker 2>like newness kind of chapter in my life where I'm like,

0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:34.240
<v Speaker 2>do I do that because I want to or just

0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:36.280
<v Speaker 2>because that's like what I know. So I thought, well,

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:37.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe I could bring like a friend like I thought

0:22:37.920 --> 0:22:40.240
<v Speaker 2>about Sarah Bryce Ashley Wilson, like I just you know,

0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:42.120
<v Speaker 2>like I was like, I'll bring up or even love

0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:44.040
<v Speaker 2>until I watched the video and it felt like the

0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:48.040
<v Speaker 2>subject matter was a little heavy. So when I tried

0:22:48.040 --> 0:22:50.399
<v Speaker 2>to add one more it was they were like, no

0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 2>big deal, just let us know because we have to

0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:55.080
<v Speaker 2>shift tables around. And I'm like, well that's I said, no, no, no, no,

0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:58.920
<v Speaker 2>I'll fly solo. It's fine. So I bust the zipper

0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:01.919
<v Speaker 2>last night. I've already got a velcro baby stuck to

0:23:01.960 --> 0:23:03.879
<v Speaker 2>me like doesn't want me to you know, everyone's in

0:23:03.880 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 2>and out of the bathroom.

0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:09.080
<v Speaker 4>It's totally fine. I've got it's fine.

0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:11.840
<v Speaker 2>But I'm already like my hair doesn't feel great, Like

0:23:11.880 --> 0:23:13.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm just in a mode and I'm trying to feel

0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:17.480
<v Speaker 2>like and I keep going like this is going to

0:23:17.520 --> 0:23:19.320
<v Speaker 2>be great. Whatever I wear is going to pull together,

0:23:19.359 --> 0:23:22.399
<v Speaker 2>it's going to be fine. The busted zipper was hard

0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.400
<v Speaker 2>two times over because I am not wearing what I want.

0:23:24.440 --> 0:23:28.399
<v Speaker 2>And also that is a real feeling like we I

0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 2>had Preston and Christine trying to zip me into this, okay.

0:23:34.840 --> 0:23:40.720
<v Speaker 2>So Preston says, well, I feel he was excited. He

0:23:40.840 --> 0:23:44.920
<v Speaker 2>was excited because his show got canceled and he could

0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:47.160
<v Speaker 2>get to Legends game last night because there's seventy five

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:49.280
<v Speaker 2>things going on at once. This is my wine about it,

0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:53.080
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like I can never plan.

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:54.840
<v Speaker 4>Anything.

0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:59.680
<v Speaker 2>And so he baseball game gets canceled because we're in

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:02.520
<v Speaker 2>the middle trenchill downpour. And so he's like, maybe I

0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:04.960
<v Speaker 2>go with you five minutes before I'm heading out the door.

0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:06.800
<v Speaker 2>And I said, well, I would love that, but you

0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:10.960
<v Speaker 2>can't because the tea it's already signed, seating, there's tables,

0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:14.919
<v Speaker 2>blah blah blah. And so he didn't get to go.

0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:16.600
<v Speaker 2>So I call cranmerround the way. She's like, he should

0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:18.000
<v Speaker 2>just come. We'll pull up a table, you know, we'll

0:24:18.000 --> 0:24:19.359
<v Speaker 2>pull up a chair, blah blah blah. Well, no, I

0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 2>he was already promised Legend you take him to the woods.

0:24:21.840 --> 0:24:25.880
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, everything just feels so chaotic and clunky,

0:24:25.960 --> 0:24:30.000
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I'm doing my best to round my

0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:33.359
<v Speaker 2>A type edges and not be so like that is

0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:35.399
<v Speaker 2>my I came out with the clipboard. I'm sure I

0:24:35.440 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 2>was born with one and so I'm trying to like

0:24:39.000 --> 0:24:40.760
<v Speaker 2>really be flexible. I feel like I do a good

0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:43.919
<v Speaker 2>job for my personality type in our world doing that.

0:24:44.160 --> 0:24:46.919
<v Speaker 2>But at some point, I'm like, it would have been

0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 2>great just to have him to hold my hand. Sure, well,

0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:52.359
<v Speaker 2>that's why I held your hand because I was holding

0:24:52.359 --> 0:24:54.440
<v Speaker 2>Alan's hands what I was gonna say, And so then

0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:57.440
<v Speaker 2>I had this momentere I was like, she's by herself,

0:24:57.440 --> 0:24:58.920
<v Speaker 2>and so I was like, I just that's when I

0:24:58.960 --> 0:25:01.160
<v Speaker 2>held your hand and they were talking about cycle breakers,

0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:03.880
<v Speaker 2>and like, I mean, it was really it's always powerful.

0:25:03.880 --> 0:25:07.560
<v Speaker 4>That night is so powerful. But yeah, I just really I.

0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:12.560
<v Speaker 2>Feel like nothing stays the way it's planned, and I'm

0:25:12.600 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 2>trying to like embrace that and be more joyful. And

0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:18.480
<v Speaker 2>part of me is just being frustrated too, you know

0:25:19.200 --> 0:25:24.280
<v Speaker 2>that's fair the like Kentucky, you know, you're like, oh,

0:25:23.680 --> 0:25:26.080
<v Speaker 2>I've got a nanny, and then one hour later you

0:25:26.080 --> 0:25:27.520
<v Speaker 2>don't have a nanny, and it's just like, at some

0:25:27.680 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 2>point it just feels like, I don't know. The funny

0:25:31.760 --> 0:25:33.840
<v Speaker 2>piece of that was when we called Preston. We're like,

0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:36.000
<v Speaker 2>come on, Preston, and he's like, I wasn't invited, and

0:25:36.040 --> 0:25:36.600
<v Speaker 2>I was like.

0:25:37.800 --> 0:25:38.639
<v Speaker 3>The funnier pieces.

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:40.240
<v Speaker 2>We hung up with Preston and we run right into

0:25:40.280 --> 0:25:42.199
<v Speaker 2>a couple's therapists and I was like, yeah, I.

0:25:42.200 --> 0:25:44.200
<v Speaker 4>Should have kept you on the phone for five more minutes.

0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:47.080
<v Speaker 2>That was funny because our couple of therapists obviously was

0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:49.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's at the same therapy center. And so

0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:52.400
<v Speaker 2>she's like, you know, do you want me to address

0:25:52.440 --> 0:25:54.600
<v Speaker 2>you if I see you at the event, And I'm like, oh, yeah,

0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't care, Like I'm very free about talking. We

0:25:56.800 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 2>actually just talked about a couple of therapy that we go

0:25:59.119 --> 0:26:02.600
<v Speaker 2>on our last adult education episode. And so while we

0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:04.879
<v Speaker 2>were walking in her and her husband when it was

0:26:05.040 --> 0:26:06.639
<v Speaker 2>like this same time, and I'm like, this is our

0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:09.200
<v Speaker 2>couples therapist was a mess.

0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:12.560
<v Speaker 4>Anyways, I'm just you know, it's just.

0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:14.880
<v Speaker 2>The dominoes of like and then you know, you're going

0:26:14.960 --> 0:26:17.000
<v Speaker 2>up on stage, you're su're not You're still not sure

0:26:17.000 --> 0:26:19.680
<v Speaker 2>what you're gonna say, and so I'm coming in not feeling.

0:26:20.440 --> 0:26:22.399
<v Speaker 2>I had like two hard boiled eggs for dinner, like

0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:24.520
<v Speaker 2>cause I'm you know, trying to make everybody feel good

0:26:24.560 --> 0:26:26.439
<v Speaker 2>before I leave. It's just that feeling. And then you

0:26:26.520 --> 0:26:29.040
<v Speaker 2>get there and you're supposed to be this like stoic,

0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:32.480
<v Speaker 2>well spoken, maybe even funny person, and I just was like,

0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel like this, like I want to weep

0:26:34.600 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 2>in a chair and eat this dessert. Actually, so that

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:41.200
<v Speaker 2>was that I've hijacked it. Well, I'm sorry that I

0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 2>didn't show it for you better as a friend, and

0:26:42.880 --> 0:26:46.480
<v Speaker 2>that no, you couldn't have known. And I couldn't talk

0:26:46.520 --> 0:26:48.159
<v Speaker 2>about much of it on my way there because I

0:26:48.200 --> 0:26:48.800
<v Speaker 2>knew if I did, I.

0:26:48.760 --> 0:26:49.440
<v Speaker 4>Would just cry.

0:26:49.560 --> 0:26:52.320
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I have fresh makeup on. I

0:26:52.400 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 2>just need to take a deep breath and remember Jesus's

0:26:54.880 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 2>hands on my shoulders. That's what I always picture. He

0:26:57.400 --> 0:26:59.359
<v Speaker 2>stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders and

0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:01.159
<v Speaker 2>I can take a deep breath. And so I was

0:27:01.200 --> 0:27:03.439
<v Speaker 2>just trying to get in that place. And then it

0:27:03.480 --> 0:27:06.320
<v Speaker 2>got even more clunky up at the podium, and the

0:27:06.320 --> 0:27:07.880
<v Speaker 2>podium is see through.

0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:09.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you know, it's not like.

0:27:09.760 --> 0:27:10.679
<v Speaker 4>You can hide behind it.

0:27:10.760 --> 0:27:13.720
<v Speaker 2>Even so you're like you use that as like a yeah,

0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:15.480
<v Speaker 2>and all of a sudden, I mean I have hives

0:27:15.520 --> 0:27:17.080
<v Speaker 2>thinking about it. So yeah, it's like a win to

0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:20.520
<v Speaker 2>you do your soul and they're up there and yeah,

0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:22.160
<v Speaker 2>no chance for the Icebreaker.

0:27:22.200 --> 0:27:24.280
<v Speaker 4>It just was not my Well, are you having a

0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:26.119
<v Speaker 4>better day today? Yeah?

0:27:26.440 --> 0:27:28.240
<v Speaker 2>Good? Yeah, And I'm getting up and working out every

0:27:28.240 --> 0:27:30.199
<v Speaker 2>morning because I know that helps with this feeling that

0:27:30.200 --> 0:27:33.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm having. Sure, the zipping up dress is feeling and

0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:35.760
<v Speaker 2>also the anxiety. Right, yeah, I'm just in a season.

0:27:35.840 --> 0:27:40.119
<v Speaker 2>It's really fine. I'm sure you know, Creamer really thinks up.

0:27:42.720 --> 0:27:45.320
<v Speaker 2>I promise I was not. I just kept thinking, they

0:27:45.400 --> 0:27:47.359
<v Speaker 2>want to see you, they don't want to see me.

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:48.480
<v Speaker 4>That's the feeling.

0:27:48.640 --> 0:27:50.439
<v Speaker 2>So I didn't want to be the one that was

0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:54.400
<v Speaker 2>talking because oh and see, I want to give that too,

0:27:55.119 --> 0:27:55.440
<v Speaker 2>you know what.

0:27:55.920 --> 0:27:57.680
<v Speaker 1>And that's always going to be a feeling that we'll

0:27:57.680 --> 0:27:59.720
<v Speaker 1>probably always kind of have around, you know.

0:28:00.000 --> 0:28:02.560
<v Speaker 4>I mean, and it's just listen, I want you, I

0:28:02.600 --> 0:28:02.879
<v Speaker 4>want that.

0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:07.199
<v Speaker 3>I so bad this show. I try. I try. I

0:28:07.240 --> 0:28:12.920
<v Speaker 3>say things all the time what Gathered says. Except for

0:28:13.000 --> 0:28:14.639
<v Speaker 3>a few people on the social media.

0:28:14.880 --> 0:28:18.640
<v Speaker 4>I care, and I would like to have them quote you,

0:28:19.240 --> 0:28:19.560
<v Speaker 4>not me.

0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:24.280
<v Speaker 3>But it's fine. I like not having that yeah.

0:28:23.920 --> 0:28:26.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, oh god, what are the things I would

0:28:26.280 --> 0:28:27.480
<v Speaker 2>say if I didn't care?

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying. It is, That's what I'm saying.

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:33.520
<v Speaker 1>I feel like being able to have that. I mean,

0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:35.760
<v Speaker 1>I definitely will have people send me stuff, but like

0:28:35.920 --> 0:28:38.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's not that big of a deal speaking

0:28:38.560 --> 0:28:40.280
<v Speaker 1>of this isn't a wine down, but this is like

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:45.800
<v Speaker 1>a positive thing. A whine about it, but a positive thing.

0:28:45.800 --> 0:28:47.400
<v Speaker 1>From what we talked about last week. I think it

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:49.720
<v Speaker 1>was last week we talked about we should do we

0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:52.280
<v Speaker 1>should have a positive I want to That was my

0:28:52.360 --> 0:28:54.400
<v Speaker 1>thought today when I was getting ready, because I was

0:28:54.400 --> 0:28:56.280
<v Speaker 1>trying to think about if I had any wine about

0:28:56.280 --> 0:28:58.880
<v Speaker 1>it and wines about it, and I was like, you know,

0:28:58.880 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I've got like the same old like you know whatever,

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:02.719
<v Speaker 1>but I really don't have anything. And I was thinking,

0:29:02.880 --> 0:29:04.840
<v Speaker 1>we if we don't, I think it's a good thing

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:06.280
<v Speaker 1>to go, Hey, we don't have a whine about it.

0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:08.920
<v Speaker 3>Let's let's talk about some positive stuff. Anyway.

0:29:09.040 --> 0:29:11.560
<v Speaker 1>All that to say, when we talked about filling in

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:14.400
<v Speaker 1>the blanks, I think it was last week. I had

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:18.320
<v Speaker 1>this sweet follower that we will go back and forth

0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:21.120
<v Speaker 1>a lot on social media about different things and we'll

0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:24.680
<v Speaker 1>like debate stuff or whatever, and she's so super super sweet. Well,

0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:27.800
<v Speaker 1>she had sent me something like last week or something,

0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:30.440
<v Speaker 1>and I was just in really busy mode with the kids,

0:29:30.760 --> 0:29:32.680
<v Speaker 1>and I remembered getting it, but it was like a video.

0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:35.480
<v Speaker 1>I didn't watch it whatever, and I didn't respond, so

0:29:35.600 --> 0:29:38.400
<v Speaker 1>she listened to the podcast. I guess it would have

0:29:38.400 --> 0:29:40.640
<v Speaker 1>been this on Monday, okay, because she sends me a

0:29:40.680 --> 0:29:42.240
<v Speaker 1>message and she was like, I'm just going to send

0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:44.280
<v Speaker 1>this to you because I was just listening about filling

0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:46.200
<v Speaker 1>in the blanks and I wanted to tell you that

0:29:46.560 --> 0:29:49.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm filling in the blanks right now. With you not responding,

0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:53.280
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I offended you. And if that's the case,

0:29:53.360 --> 0:29:55.400
<v Speaker 1>like I'm so sorry, blah blah blah blah blah, but

0:29:55.440 --> 0:29:58.080
<v Speaker 1>like we usually talk about this and you always respond. Anyway,

0:29:58.120 --> 0:29:59.840
<v Speaker 1>it was just this really sweet message. I was like,

0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad you sent me that. Yeah, because like

0:30:02.680 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 1>good for you, because I was literally just busy, haven't

0:30:06.280 --> 0:30:08.800
<v Speaker 1>even looked at the video, yeah, just not in a place.

0:30:09.000 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 1>And she was like, oh my gosh, I feel so

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:11.160
<v Speaker 1>much better.

0:30:11.360 --> 0:30:11.719
<v Speaker 3>Anyway.

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:14.000
<v Speaker 1>It was just a really positive note that I was like,

0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:16.560
<v Speaker 1>maybe she would have done that before, but I don't

0:30:16.560 --> 0:30:18.400
<v Speaker 1>think she would have. I think it really helped her

0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:20.480
<v Speaker 1>to say just tell me, like, I'm filling in the

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:22.320
<v Speaker 1>blanks here, and it makes me not feel good, like

0:30:22.360 --> 0:30:23.320
<v Speaker 1>she was worried about it.

0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's really sweet because I had to block like

0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:29.960
<v Speaker 2>five more people from the last episode. You're ugly, that

0:30:30.120 --> 0:30:31.320
<v Speaker 2>dress looks terrible on you.

0:30:31.640 --> 0:30:33.400
<v Speaker 3>Wait, what dress? What are we talking about?

0:30:33.400 --> 0:30:36.719
<v Speaker 2>When when I had to did my Amazon, I posted

0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:40.520
<v Speaker 2>a reel of some of the dresses and I'll, you know,

0:30:40.720 --> 0:30:43.360
<v Speaker 2>go to my requests and you see my dms, and

0:30:43.520 --> 0:30:47.600
<v Speaker 2>there was a couple like, you're you look disgusting, the

0:30:47.680 --> 0:30:49.800
<v Speaker 2>dress looks terrible on you. And then one I responded

0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to and I was just like, well, I'm really glad

0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:54.240
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to wear it, like have a blessed day. Yeah,

0:30:54.280 --> 0:30:56.280
<v Speaker 2>And the other is I just I just straight blocked.

0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:59.200
<v Speaker 2>So but I'm like, well, I'm sorry, that's just yeah,

0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:00.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm really happy that you have.

0:31:01.280 --> 0:31:03.760
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, I definitely got the you know, attacts

0:31:03.880 --> 0:31:06.440
<v Speaker 1>last week, but I just thought that that was a positive.

0:31:06.520 --> 0:31:08.680
<v Speaker 1>But she took it, she listened, and then it it

0:31:08.800 --> 0:31:12.040
<v Speaker 1>kind of enabled her just or whatever, like gave her.

0:31:12.120 --> 0:31:15.239
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely. I love that. I love that.

0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Brittany Cartwright claims ex Jax Taylor has never scheduled an

0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:24.240
<v Speaker 2>appointment for their four year old son, Cruise, so she's

0:31:24.320 --> 0:31:27.160
<v Speaker 2>opened up about her estranged husband, Jack's Brittany is on

0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:31.680
<v Speaker 2>the valley, and she said that, you know, he wants

0:31:31.720 --> 0:31:33.080
<v Speaker 2>to be a great dad. He is a great dad,

0:31:33.120 --> 0:31:35.640
<v Speaker 2>but he's never scheduled an appointment, never hired a therapist,

0:31:35.640 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 2>never hired a school, you know, nothing like that. So

0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:40.360
<v Speaker 2>there's a difference. So every now and then, I feel

0:31:40.360 --> 0:31:41.720
<v Speaker 2>like I want him to be in his school and

0:31:41.720 --> 0:31:43.640
<v Speaker 2>he's like, well, maybe he should be in this type

0:31:43.640 --> 0:31:43.960
<v Speaker 2>of school.

0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:46.520
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, well, you haven't done anything, you know. She said.

0:31:46.520 --> 0:31:48.480
<v Speaker 2>It's a bit annoying and can make co parenting harder

0:31:48.520 --> 0:31:51.640
<v Speaker 2>because she feels like she's getting the heavyweight, and if

0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:53.960
<v Speaker 2>we disagree on something, it agitates me because I'm the

0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:57.880
<v Speaker 2>one that has to do all the research. Not that

0:31:57.960 --> 0:31:59.640
<v Speaker 2>all dads are like that. Some dads are hands on

0:31:59.640 --> 0:32:01.400
<v Speaker 2>and everything. I do feel like there's a difference in

0:32:01.480 --> 0:32:04.320
<v Speaker 2>moms uh and dads for the most part.

0:32:05.120 --> 0:32:05.800
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I.

0:32:05.680 --> 0:32:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Gotta be honest, Well, I feel like whether you're married

0:32:08.720 --> 0:32:11.640
<v Speaker 2>or co parenting, I mean, even when I was married

0:32:11.640 --> 0:32:15.640
<v Speaker 2>to Mike, he never made one doctor's appointment, and now

0:32:15.800 --> 0:32:19.360
<v Speaker 2>married to Alan, like, he's not made one doctor's appointment

0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:21.360
<v Speaker 2>for Roman, I make and I don't have a problem

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 2>like that, And I just know now that's my response, like,

0:32:24.640 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 2>that's just what falls on the moms to do.

0:32:26.920 --> 0:32:29.160
<v Speaker 1>If I asked Nick to call the doctor if someone

0:32:29.200 --> 0:32:31.680
<v Speaker 1>needed to go, he absolutely would, but he would say

0:32:31.720 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 1>who is their doctor? Yes, without a doubt, he would

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:37.520
<v Speaker 1>have no clue. He would do it, but he doesn't know.

0:32:37.800 --> 0:32:40.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, same, and I will say what I've done now

0:32:40.200 --> 0:32:43.080
<v Speaker 2>with And this is my only advice, maybe to Brittany,

0:32:43.280 --> 0:32:47.520
<v Speaker 2>is because I don't want to have to do all

0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 2>of it with my co parent with Mike. So I

0:32:50.560 --> 0:32:52.400
<v Speaker 2>don't like the dentist. We all know that I've talked

0:32:52.400 --> 0:32:54.719
<v Speaker 2>about not liking the dentist. He is in charge of

0:32:54.720 --> 0:32:56.800
<v Speaker 2>making dentists appointments for the kids.

0:32:56.880 --> 0:32:57.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't want. I just don't want to do it.

0:32:57.960 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to take them.

0:32:58.640 --> 0:33:00.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to go, like I don't want I

0:33:00.480 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>take them to do all their other appointments.

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:03.520
<v Speaker 4>That is his.

0:33:03.760 --> 0:33:04.320
<v Speaker 3>That's smart.

0:33:04.440 --> 0:33:07.760
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, you get the dentist. So like even

0:33:07.840 --> 0:33:11.720
<v Speaker 2>I saw he he scheduled them on two different days

0:33:11.720 --> 0:33:13.400
<v Speaker 2>and I said, I need you to can you please

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:15.800
<v Speaker 2>reschedule those two because the last week of school and

0:33:15.920 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 2>we have them at the same time, and I don't

0:33:18.040 --> 0:33:19.800
<v Speaker 2>want to take them both days, you know, because those

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:22.360
<v Speaker 2>are now on my day. So he normally so yeah,

0:33:22.400 --> 0:33:24.640
<v Speaker 2>like ninety nine percent of the time and he is

0:33:24.640 --> 0:33:27.600
<v Speaker 2>scheduling and taking the kids. I actually taken them a

0:33:27.640 --> 0:33:30.640
<v Speaker 2>few times, but it's like that I want you that

0:33:30.800 --> 0:33:33.720
<v Speaker 2>is for your day, and I like that takes I

0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:35.680
<v Speaker 2>literally have to I have to ask him, though obviously

0:33:35.960 --> 0:33:36.440
<v Speaker 2>you do it.

0:33:36.480 --> 0:33:39.280
<v Speaker 3>But I mean I think that's okay. I don't know,

0:33:39.480 --> 0:33:39.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't.

0:33:40.200 --> 0:33:42.640
<v Speaker 1>People might disagree with me, but it's not that it's

0:33:42.720 --> 0:33:44.920
<v Speaker 1>a mom's job, but it's just kind.

0:33:44.640 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 2>Of kind of is kind of is I guess is

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.800
<v Speaker 2>there's probably something else there, Like I don't know that

0:33:50.800 --> 0:33:52.000
<v Speaker 2>it's about scheduling appointment.

0:33:52.000 --> 0:33:53.800
<v Speaker 3>Here's the other thing I was going to say.

0:33:53.640 --> 0:33:55.320
<v Speaker 2>Like it's just the low hanging fruit to be like

0:33:55.360 --> 0:33:57.320
<v Speaker 2>and I do this, you know, like I feel like

0:33:57.320 --> 0:33:59.360
<v Speaker 2>there's so much weight on us there. I mean, there's

0:33:59.440 --> 0:34:02.240
<v Speaker 2>studies that come out with the amount of schedules that

0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:04.840
<v Speaker 2>we hold in our brain and everything that's on a

0:34:04.880 --> 0:34:07.800
<v Speaker 2>mom's played specifically in this like in a twenty twenty

0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:11.640
<v Speaker 2>five mom is like another job and a half.

0:34:11.640 --> 0:34:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Right, But what I was gonna say, is the comment

0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:15.440
<v Speaker 1>he makes about the school.

0:34:15.840 --> 0:34:16.920
<v Speaker 3>Now, that would bother.

0:34:16.800 --> 0:34:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Me if you don't like she said, he makes comments

0:34:20.840 --> 0:34:22.680
<v Speaker 1>about maybe he should be in a different school.

0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:23.560
<v Speaker 3>I think it's a heat.

0:34:23.640 --> 0:34:26.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, now that's where I would go and do the research. Okay,

0:34:26.719 --> 0:34:28.440
<v Speaker 1>then do the research and what kind of school do

0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:30.439
<v Speaker 1>you think that they should be in? And let's talk

0:34:30.480 --> 0:34:33.120
<v Speaker 1>about that that I feel like maybe because that would

0:34:33.160 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 1>bother me, Like if you don't like the doctor, then

0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:38.360
<v Speaker 1>do some research and find your own doctor, you know,

0:34:38.520 --> 0:34:40.360
<v Speaker 1>or if you don't like so I feel like maybe

0:34:40.400 --> 0:34:42.600
<v Speaker 1>that's something that's getting to her.

0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:44.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I feel like again, it's just kind of

0:34:45.400 --> 0:34:48.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, even with you know, Jolie's dyslexy talking emailing

0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:51.759
<v Speaker 2>school and I actually like because I know it's it's

0:34:52.200 --> 0:34:53.839
<v Speaker 2>getting done and I don't have to ask, hey did

0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:55.720
<v Speaker 2>you do Hey did you call and make the eighteen

0:34:55.719 --> 0:34:58.120
<v Speaker 2>month appointment? Or hey, you know when we actually we

0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 2>got in a waiting list and we we're in now

0:35:00.719 --> 0:35:03.759
<v Speaker 2>the new pediatric place. So you know, those are things

0:35:03.760 --> 0:35:05.840
<v Speaker 2>that I don't want to have to ask because it

0:35:05.920 --> 0:35:09.040
<v Speaker 2>might not be as its appointments aren't important to them,

0:35:09.080 --> 0:35:10.880
<v Speaker 2>but they've got other things they're doing, so I just

0:35:11.719 --> 0:35:13.719
<v Speaker 2>it's you know, we can, we can do it. And

0:35:13.920 --> 0:35:16.879
<v Speaker 2>but when it comes to the co parenting, that's when

0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:19.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, hey, can you handle this piece? Yeah, and

0:35:19.640 --> 0:35:22.520
<v Speaker 2>I'll handle the rest. I also love feeling connected. So

0:35:22.600 --> 0:35:24.600
<v Speaker 2>when I'm making the appointments and I'm in charge of

0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:27.799
<v Speaker 2>all this, like that makes me feel connected to Like

0:35:27.840 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to have to tune in or catch

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:30.040
<v Speaker 2>up on that.

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:31.120
<v Speaker 3>Kind of I want to say.

0:35:31.800 --> 0:35:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yes, the controlling part of me is not

0:35:34.280 --> 0:35:36.919
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, this is gonna get but like I don't

0:35:36.920 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 1>want my husband picking the doctor and yeah, the dentist

0:35:40.120 --> 0:35:42.120
<v Speaker 1>and where they're going to school. Like I want to

0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:44.520
<v Speaker 1>make that decision. And I think dads know that they

0:35:44.560 --> 0:35:46.640
<v Speaker 1>know that the moms want to make that decision. I

0:35:46.640 --> 0:35:48.880
<v Speaker 1>think they'd be more willing to more than willing.

0:35:48.600 --> 0:35:51.000
<v Speaker 3>To help if you asked. Yeah, but like moms want

0:35:51.000 --> 0:35:52.239
<v Speaker 3>to decide where their kids are going.

0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's the thing too, Like even when we talk

0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:56.239
<v Speaker 2>about the vaccination stuff, like I know, at the end

0:35:56.239 --> 0:35:59.759
<v Speaker 2>of the day, Alan has his definite input, but it's

0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.759
<v Speaker 2>going to to most likely come to But having said that,

0:36:02.800 --> 0:36:06.200
<v Speaker 2>we know we there's something else with Roman that I

0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:08.840
<v Speaker 2>leaned very heavily on his opinion, and we ended up

0:36:08.880 --> 0:36:10.919
<v Speaker 2>going with his opinion on it because it's a male part.

0:36:11.120 --> 0:36:13.960
<v Speaker 4>So you know what I mean, Like there are things where.

0:36:15.280 --> 0:36:18.799
<v Speaker 2>That's his choice, you know, to have that mm hm

0:36:19.560 --> 0:36:22.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, do that whatever. Yeah, maybe, well I

0:36:22.880 --> 0:36:26.279
<v Speaker 2>think it's like what you're passionate about. Yeah, Like Preston knows,

0:36:26.280 --> 0:36:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm passionate about the schooling, the doctor, like all of

0:36:28.520 --> 0:36:31.600
<v Speaker 2>that piece. And he trusts me because I am passionate.

0:36:31.640 --> 0:36:33.799
<v Speaker 2>I do learn more than like he would want to learn.

0:36:34.400 --> 0:36:36.160
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, no, you've got it. And I don't

0:36:36.160 --> 0:36:39.520
<v Speaker 2>think it makes them. It doesn't make Mike a bad

0:36:39.640 --> 0:36:42.920
<v Speaker 2>dad that he doesn't do the school emails or the

0:36:42.960 --> 0:36:45.520
<v Speaker 2>doctor's appointments or and it doesn't make Alan a bad day.

0:36:45.719 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't make them a not hands on dad. Like

0:36:47.800 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 2>Alan is incredibly hands on, he just doesn't deal with

0:36:50.680 --> 0:36:55.240
<v Speaker 2>the logistics of the schooling or the preschools or the whatever.

0:36:55.320 --> 0:36:58.319
<v Speaker 2>Like for example, with this movie, I said to him,

0:36:58.800 --> 0:37:01.480
<v Speaker 2>with the our girls that we've used when Roman was

0:37:01.520 --> 0:37:05.200
<v Speaker 2>little a part time, it's like, can you please text her?

0:37:05.239 --> 0:37:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Because I don't want to be the middleman with scheduling.

0:37:07.520 --> 0:37:09.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what you need, so those things, like

0:37:10.080 --> 0:37:13.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, they're gonna have to take over. But SAIDs

0:37:13.120 --> 0:37:17.240
<v Speaker 2>that doctors. Woman's doesn't make them ad a bad person

0:37:17.280 --> 0:37:18.880
<v Speaker 2>or a bad parent for not doing that.

0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:20.319
<v Speaker 4>You know what I mean?

0:37:20.760 --> 0:37:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I do. Mom shares her clever ruse for getting kids

0:37:37.200 --> 0:37:40.480
<v Speaker 2>to eat her homemade food. When your kids get picky

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:42.320
<v Speaker 2>about dinner, just order takeout.

0:37:42.400 --> 0:37:43.359
<v Speaker 4>It's such a fun thing.

0:37:43.440 --> 0:37:47.600
<v Speaker 2>Alex McLaren, who cooks homemade meals and serves them to

0:37:47.640 --> 0:37:52.600
<v Speaker 2>her unsuspecting children in restaurant takeout containers. Oh that's so interesting.

0:37:52.680 --> 0:37:57.160
<v Speaker 2>So she puts her food in takeout containers. That's funny

0:37:57.280 --> 0:37:59.920
<v Speaker 2>as presentation matters. I learned this early on.

0:38:00.160 --> 0:38:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but aren't people gonna order? Aren't they going to

0:38:03.080 --> 0:38:05.799
<v Speaker 1>order different things? If it's takeout? Like my kids would

0:38:05.840 --> 0:38:06.920
<v Speaker 1>and order all the same things.

0:38:07.560 --> 0:38:10.520
<v Speaker 4>Yours couldn't probably be duped either though at this age.

0:38:11.040 --> 0:38:13.000
<v Speaker 1>No, that's true. But like you know what I'm saying,

0:38:13.239 --> 0:38:15.680
<v Speaker 1>I take out, all five of us aren't ordering the

0:38:15.680 --> 0:38:16.120
<v Speaker 1>same thing.

0:38:17.400 --> 0:38:20.279
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Oh, it's a really good point. I just cook

0:38:20.360 --> 0:38:21.640
<v Speaker 4>you guys. I'm cooking stunny.

0:38:22.200 --> 0:38:24.680
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm cooking so many I'm cooking so

0:38:24.760 --> 0:38:27.400
<v Speaker 2>many foods right now, we are struggling in the dinner department.

0:38:27.680 --> 0:38:32.960
<v Speaker 4>Oh, like I'm trying. I'm trying, but like legend is

0:38:33.000 --> 0:38:33.720
<v Speaker 4>just so picky.

0:38:34.080 --> 0:38:37.480
<v Speaker 2>So I try to do a version of whatever I'm

0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:39.800
<v Speaker 2>making for them, but like I also just need the

0:38:39.840 --> 0:38:40.319
<v Speaker 2>kid to eat.

0:38:40.440 --> 0:38:42.360
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, that's Caine.

0:38:43.719 --> 0:38:45.160
<v Speaker 3>I hear what she's say.

0:38:45.280 --> 0:38:48.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh on the Southwest salads and extra and you're.

0:38:48.640 --> 0:38:51.360
<v Speaker 3>Like, I can promise you were not all ordering the

0:38:51.400 --> 0:38:52.759
<v Speaker 3>same thing. I will say.

0:38:52.760 --> 0:38:54.360
<v Speaker 4>I got those like little burger baskets.

0:38:54.400 --> 0:38:57.920
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember those, like little plastic oval baskets with

0:38:57.960 --> 0:39:00.359
<v Speaker 2>like the paper. Yeah, I got those for the kids

0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:03.160
<v Speaker 2>last year, and like sometimes I just do like it's

0:39:03.200 --> 0:39:06.359
<v Speaker 2>like Fridy night or whatever, and I just cuwe because

0:39:06.360 --> 0:39:08.560
<v Speaker 2>it's in a different basket, or like it feels like

0:39:08.560 --> 0:39:10.280
<v Speaker 2>they're at the diner. Or I give them a menu.

0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:13.719
<v Speaker 2>They like that too, and they check the boxes and

0:39:13.800 --> 0:39:15.680
<v Speaker 2>it's all things I was going to make anyway, So

0:39:15.719 --> 0:39:17.360
<v Speaker 2>it just makes them feel Joel is.

0:39:17.360 --> 0:39:18.759
<v Speaker 4>Really big on hibachi right now.

0:39:19.040 --> 0:39:19.680
<v Speaker 3>I love a lot.

0:39:19.880 --> 0:39:22.239
<v Speaker 4>I have a Blackstone. I don't even know what hibachi is.

0:39:22.360 --> 0:39:24.640
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, I love habachi.

0:39:24.800 --> 0:39:26.439
<v Speaker 4>What is there after? Like rice?

0:39:26.480 --> 0:39:30.040
<v Speaker 1>And chicken and the big hibachi grill you know, like

0:39:30.080 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 1>toss away though. Remember, well, yeah, you're not going to

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:34.200
<v Speaker 1>do well with hibachi, but you just started that. How

0:39:34.200 --> 0:39:38.160
<v Speaker 1>did you not know hubachi before forty years? I've never

0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:40.399
<v Speaker 1>really eaten them, you know where they go in the fire. Yeah,

0:39:40.400 --> 0:39:42.759
<v Speaker 1>and they're like tossing onions and shrimp in the cat's.

0:39:42.480 --> 0:39:43.840
<v Speaker 3>Mouth and so fun.

0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I know I've been to one, but it was

0:39:46.480 --> 0:39:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Benny on Us maybe maybe yeah, is that about you

0:39:49.560 --> 0:39:50.680
<v Speaker 2>think that sounds like it?

0:39:51.920 --> 0:39:56.000
<v Speaker 4>Well, Joelie is like like, hawa, No, I.

0:39:55.920 --> 0:39:58.640
<v Speaker 1>Mean you're not going to eat well, you get, but

0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:00.279
<v Speaker 1>I would love to another time because I I love

0:40:00.440 --> 0:40:02.000
<v Speaker 1>about you and I need a good one around here

0:40:02.000 --> 0:40:02.880
<v Speaker 1>because ours closed.

0:40:03.000 --> 0:40:04.200
<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, let's do that.

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:07.240
<v Speaker 2>Internet reacts to learning Oscar voters didn't have to watch

0:40:07.440 --> 0:40:10.440
<v Speaker 2>all nominated movies until now.

0:40:11.200 --> 0:40:16.800
<v Speaker 4>So, uh, that's crazy. Well, all award shows are really fair?

0:40:17.360 --> 0:40:19.680
<v Speaker 4>Well that's what I basically was going to say.

0:40:19.840 --> 0:40:23.319
<v Speaker 2>I would love to find an award show that was

0:40:23.360 --> 0:40:27.120
<v Speaker 2>actually fair and not vote not traded votes.

0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:29.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm assuming oscars are the same with all that I

0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:32.919
<v Speaker 1>know nothing about, like the acting, Yeah, I'm assuming pretty much.

0:40:33.239 --> 0:40:34.279
<v Speaker 4>So until this year.

0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:37.319
<v Speaker 2>They didn't have to watch the films to vote. From

0:40:37.320 --> 0:40:38.520
<v Speaker 2>what I'm seeing, I.

0:40:38.440 --> 0:40:39.880
<v Speaker 3>Mean, it's not like we have to listen to the

0:40:39.920 --> 0:40:40.800
<v Speaker 3>albums to vote.

0:40:42.440 --> 0:40:44.040
<v Speaker 4>Well, you know, I'm passionate. Anything else you want to say,

0:40:44.040 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 4>they're cat Wow, I'll vote for you.

0:40:49.000 --> 0:40:53.800
<v Speaker 2>Hello, wind down, ladies, serious listener. I need advice, friends, therapy, drinks.

0:40:53.840 --> 0:40:57.200
<v Speaker 2>I need help give it. Around my entire marriage twenty nine

0:40:57.280 --> 0:41:01.319
<v Speaker 2>plus years less, I always had a hunch that my

0:41:01.440 --> 0:41:05.640
<v Speaker 2>husband was cheating on me. This started from the very beginning,

0:41:05.640 --> 0:41:07.880
<v Speaker 2>but I never caught him, and he would always have

0:41:07.960 --> 0:41:10.480
<v Speaker 2>a great reason to why I felt that way, usually

0:41:10.520 --> 0:41:13.600
<v Speaker 2>paranoia on my side. Oh the gaslighting that was additional

0:41:13.600 --> 0:41:13.839
<v Speaker 2>for me.

0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:14.240
<v Speaker 3>Sorry.

0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:17.239
<v Speaker 2>Fast forward to December twenty twenty three, and one of

0:41:17.280 --> 0:41:20.839
<v Speaker 2>these women reached out to me, telling me that he

0:41:20.880 --> 0:41:23.399
<v Speaker 2>needed to be stopped and he was with someone else

0:41:23.440 --> 0:41:26.560
<v Speaker 2>at that moment. Oh, there is so much I could say,

0:41:26.560 --> 0:41:28.800
<v Speaker 2>but I will try to keep this as short as possible.

0:41:28.840 --> 0:41:30.880
<v Speaker 2>After a few days of him saying he was sorry,

0:41:33.080 --> 0:41:35.239
<v Speaker 2>admitting to sleeping with all the women I had a

0:41:35.320 --> 0:41:38.160
<v Speaker 2>hunch on, I decided I had to give him a

0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.520
<v Speaker 2>chance to prove himself. Fast forward to September twenty twenty four,

0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:45.120
<v Speaker 2>and I'd finally had my limit. Anytime that I was

0:41:45.160 --> 0:41:47.439
<v Speaker 2>not at home, whether it was doing things with family, friends,

0:41:47.520 --> 0:41:50.400
<v Speaker 2>or traveling for work, he would never stay home. On

0:41:50.480 --> 0:41:53.000
<v Speaker 2>that evening last September, he was on his way home

0:41:53.000 --> 0:41:55.480
<v Speaker 2>from having beers after work. I told him that I

0:41:55.520 --> 0:41:59.160
<v Speaker 2>was not feeling he was being honest, and his response was,

0:41:59.360 --> 0:42:02.960
<v Speaker 2>it's been ten months, just give it up already. I

0:42:03.040 --> 0:42:05.800
<v Speaker 2>then made a comment about him being with other women.

0:42:06.040 --> 0:42:08.920
<v Speaker 2>I may have used a few not so nice adjectives,

0:42:09.000 --> 0:42:13.000
<v Speaker 2>and his response beggars can't be choosers. The next day,

0:42:13.040 --> 0:42:15.279
<v Speaker 2>I texted him and asked him to leave. I wasn't home,

0:42:15.640 --> 0:42:18.080
<v Speaker 2>as I knew if I would have been, I would

0:42:18.120 --> 0:42:20.600
<v Speaker 2>never have gone through with it. He texted me and said,

0:42:20.800 --> 0:42:24.480
<v Speaker 2>are you sure you want me to leave? I replied Yestember.

0:42:24.480 --> 0:42:27.919
<v Speaker 2>From September to December of this past year, he never apologized,

0:42:28.080 --> 0:42:31.040
<v Speaker 2>never took on ability, and always stated that it is

0:42:31.600 --> 0:42:35.560
<v Speaker 2>best to proceed with divorce. We are now divorced as

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.360
<v Speaker 2>of Christmas Eve, and he has already moved on. But

0:42:38.440 --> 0:42:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm having so many issues. Why is he choosing only

0:42:41.719 --> 0:42:44.200
<v Speaker 2>one person to be with? Now? Was I the problem?

0:42:44.480 --> 0:42:46.279
<v Speaker 2>I know that it's not true, but it's hard to

0:42:46.320 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 2>not feel that way.

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:47.480
<v Speaker 4>Jana.

0:42:47.560 --> 0:42:49.120
<v Speaker 2>I know you've gone through this. You gave your ex

0:42:49.200 --> 0:42:51.560
<v Speaker 2>multiple chances and they don't change. I know that I

0:42:51.600 --> 0:42:54.160
<v Speaker 2>don't want the man he is today, but why can't

0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I get him off my mind in the fantasy that

0:42:56.280 --> 0:42:58.600
<v Speaker 2>he could be the man I want, in need and

0:42:58.640 --> 0:42:59.440
<v Speaker 2>deserve him to be.

0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:03.239
<v Speaker 4>Advice you can give, We will let you take this on.

0:43:03.920 --> 0:43:05.120
<v Speaker 4>You guys don't want say anything.

0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:08.200
<v Speaker 3>Like you'll give the best advice here.

0:43:08.480 --> 0:43:10.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I really just want to read direct her to

0:43:10.000 --> 0:43:12.600
<v Speaker 2>ghastly by my husband because I kept thinking of the

0:43:12.800 --> 0:43:16.800
<v Speaker 2>entire time, I'm like, this is crazy. I just wish

0:43:17.160 --> 0:43:22.239
<v Speaker 2>we could trust our intuition more as women. I think

0:43:22.239 --> 0:43:25.239
<v Speaker 2>we always know when we know, and I hate that,

0:43:26.120 --> 0:43:29.040
<v Speaker 2>like your gut always knows, we just know. It's why

0:43:29.200 --> 0:43:32.680
<v Speaker 2>God designs us to have this intuition and discernment.

0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:36.960
<v Speaker 3>It just sounds like she did know, and she does know,

0:43:37.200 --> 0:43:37.520
<v Speaker 3>and she.

0:43:37.680 --> 0:43:41.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm so wildly proud of this person for getting her

0:43:41.000 --> 0:43:45.320
<v Speaker 2>foot down and not living the same groundhog's day over

0:43:45.400 --> 0:43:47.960
<v Speaker 2>and over again, because I remember when I would go

0:43:48.080 --> 0:43:52.120
<v Speaker 2>into essenon meetings and it was for sex addicts. You

0:43:52.120 --> 0:43:54.080
<v Speaker 2>know wives or partners that have been with someone that

0:43:54.200 --> 0:43:56.680
<v Speaker 2>was a sex addict, and I'd hear these stories and

0:43:56.840 --> 0:43:59.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean it was years and years and years. These

0:43:59.120 --> 0:44:02.040
<v Speaker 2>women are in their fifty sixties, seventies. One woman was

0:44:02.080 --> 0:44:04.160
<v Speaker 2>in her late seventies and she's like, my husband did

0:44:04.160 --> 0:44:07.160
<v Speaker 2>it again. And I'm like I cannot be and oh

0:44:07.200 --> 0:44:09.399
<v Speaker 2>my god. You know what I mean, Like I don't

0:44:09.400 --> 0:44:11.720
<v Speaker 2>want to live that cycle for the rest of my life.

0:44:11.760 --> 0:44:14.319
<v Speaker 2>Like this person is not stopping. I have to get out.

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:17.759
<v Speaker 2>So I mean, props to this listener who got out.

0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:20.040
<v Speaker 2>And I think one of the hardest pieces is that

0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:23.759
<v Speaker 2>either the woman is going to get the changed man.

0:44:24.080 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 2>And why didn't the man change for me?

0:44:26.120 --> 0:44:26.359
<v Speaker 4>Was I?

0:44:26.480 --> 0:44:29.040
<v Speaker 2>And that's I mean I struggled year, like for years

0:44:29.080 --> 0:44:32.000
<v Speaker 2>with that, like why was I not good enough for

0:44:32.120 --> 0:44:34.920
<v Speaker 2>him to change? Why wasn't I you know, I was

0:44:34.920 --> 0:44:37.000
<v Speaker 2>the mother of his children. Why didn't he change for me?

0:44:38.440 --> 0:44:41.800
<v Speaker 2>But I think speaking, I'm just going to speak about

0:44:41.800 --> 0:44:46.120
<v Speaker 2>your ex husband. If he hasn't taken accountability, he hasn't apologized,

0:44:46.160 --> 0:44:47.960
<v Speaker 2>he's not a changed person.

0:44:48.440 --> 0:44:50.000
<v Speaker 4>No person.

0:44:51.200 --> 0:44:54.560
<v Speaker 2>That has gone through healing and change doesn't come back

0:44:54.640 --> 0:44:57.799
<v Speaker 2>to hold some accountability for their past or to say hey,

0:44:57.840 --> 0:45:01.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry I did this to you and owning up

0:45:01.360 --> 0:45:03.759
<v Speaker 2>to it. A person that doesn't take ownership sweeps things

0:45:03.800 --> 0:45:06.319
<v Speaker 2>underneath the rugs. They're going to continue their actions and

0:45:06.360 --> 0:45:09.960
<v Speaker 2>they're going to be this fake facade of who they are,

0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:12.000
<v Speaker 2>but that's not actually who they are. So that woman

0:45:12.120 --> 0:45:14.360
<v Speaker 2>is not whoever he's with or ends up with is

0:45:14.360 --> 0:45:17.000
<v Speaker 2>not actually getting the true person. They're just getting this

0:45:17.080 --> 0:45:21.000
<v Speaker 2>fake persona of who he wants to be, who he

0:45:21.120 --> 0:45:23.680
<v Speaker 2>really really wants to be, but who's actually not. So

0:45:24.760 --> 0:45:26.799
<v Speaker 2>try and rest in the fact if he hasn't taken

0:45:26.840 --> 0:45:33.200
<v Speaker 2>accountability with you, or hasn't you know that to me

0:45:33.320 --> 0:45:37.080
<v Speaker 2>is the first piece of he has not healed or changed,

0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:38.719
<v Speaker 2>so that you don't even have to worry because that

0:45:38.760 --> 0:45:40.440
<v Speaker 2>woman is not going to get a change man, I

0:45:40.560 --> 0:45:43.200
<v Speaker 2>promise you. And even if he did so, if that

0:45:43.280 --> 0:45:46.360
<v Speaker 2>man does come around and does take healing and accountability,

0:45:46.440 --> 0:45:51.120
<v Speaker 2>you are not the reason. Like he wasn't ready, he

0:45:51.160 --> 0:45:54.600
<v Speaker 2>wasn't able to in that moment, you know, and you

0:45:54.680 --> 0:45:56.839
<v Speaker 2>get to now be with someone that hasn't hurt you,

0:45:57.080 --> 0:45:58.640
<v Speaker 2>so you can kind of and it wasn't that you

0:45:58.680 --> 0:46:01.120
<v Speaker 2>weren't enough for him to change. I know I wasn't.

0:46:01.760 --> 0:46:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I was plenty enough for Mike. He wasn't. He didn't

0:46:05.040 --> 0:46:07.600
<v Speaker 2>love himself enough to be the best version of himself.

0:46:07.640 --> 0:46:11.120
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't about me. So you have to detach you

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:13.280
<v Speaker 2>and him, like you have to detach your own worth

0:46:13.360 --> 0:46:17.520
<v Speaker 2>to his stuff, because it's not the truth. He was

0:46:17.600 --> 0:46:20.800
<v Speaker 2>not able to be his best self because his worth

0:46:21.200 --> 0:46:24.520
<v Speaker 2>of what he believes you are worthy of a great love,

0:46:25.440 --> 0:46:29.520
<v Speaker 2>and don't put his stuff on you. Twenty nine years

0:46:29.600 --> 0:46:30.239
<v Speaker 2>is a long time.

0:46:30.480 --> 0:46:30.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:46:30.960 --> 0:46:34.120
<v Speaker 2>I would also add that if it is a possibility,

0:46:34.239 --> 0:46:37.200
<v Speaker 2>I think any separation from learning anything new about his

0:46:37.239 --> 0:46:40.160
<v Speaker 2>life is probably needed. I'm twenty nine years. I'm sure

0:46:40.200 --> 0:46:43.920
<v Speaker 2>there's some children involved. Maybe not, But I think when

0:46:44.000 --> 0:46:45.840
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to heal from something and more than the

0:46:45.880 --> 0:46:48.160
<v Speaker 2>loss of someone that's still alive, when they continue to

0:46:48.200 --> 0:46:50.439
<v Speaker 2>like when you continue to know information. I remember even

0:46:50.480 --> 0:46:53.920
<v Speaker 2>people sending things about my ex to me, and I

0:46:54.040 --> 0:46:55.840
<v Speaker 2>just was like, I'm you know, like I'm good. I

0:46:55.840 --> 0:46:58.600
<v Speaker 2>don't need to know that information. I feel like I'm

0:46:58.600 --> 0:47:01.280
<v Speaker 2>doing my own thing. I've got my own own stuff

0:47:01.320 --> 0:47:03.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm working on or whatever. But to continue to get

0:47:03.960 --> 0:47:06.399
<v Speaker 2>updates is always like a little like that doesn't help

0:47:06.440 --> 0:47:07.120
<v Speaker 2>the process well.

0:47:07.120 --> 0:47:09.120
<v Speaker 1>And just to see that he's with one woman now,

0:47:09.160 --> 0:47:12.279
<v Speaker 1>you don't know that, right, You have no idea he's

0:47:12.320 --> 0:47:14.600
<v Speaker 1>with woman. And I've said that about other relationships in

0:47:14.640 --> 0:47:16.279
<v Speaker 1>the past, like you have no im I look like

0:47:16.320 --> 0:47:17.239
<v Speaker 1>they're with one person now.

0:47:17.320 --> 0:47:18.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but he did a good job at twenty nine

0:47:18.719 --> 0:47:19.960
<v Speaker 4>years of looking like he's with you.

0:47:20.080 --> 0:47:24.080
<v Speaker 1>But I also think sometimes, especially that long, so like

0:47:24.160 --> 0:47:26.879
<v Speaker 1>if he does become this healed version of himself and he,

0:47:27.040 --> 0:47:30.319
<v Speaker 1>you know, he changes, I think sometimes if that were

0:47:30.320 --> 0:47:33.440
<v Speaker 1>to happen in a marriage where that happens so much, like,

0:47:33.560 --> 0:47:35.880
<v Speaker 1>how would that even really work? Like how do you

0:47:35.920 --> 0:47:39.120
<v Speaker 1>ever fully trust? You know, like, even if he does

0:47:39.200 --> 0:47:41.239
<v Speaker 1>heal and you're still in your marriage and he's a

0:47:41.239 --> 0:47:45.120
<v Speaker 1>completely changed man. I know a woman that's been hit

0:47:45.200 --> 0:47:47.040
<v Speaker 1>that many times with that, that's going to be really

0:47:47.080 --> 0:47:48.680
<v Speaker 1>hard for them to trust. And is he going to

0:47:48.680 --> 0:47:50.479
<v Speaker 1>be able to be the healed version that he really

0:47:50.520 --> 0:47:52.320
<v Speaker 1>needs to be? Is she going to be the version?

0:47:52.800 --> 0:47:53.200
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:47:53.239 --> 0:47:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I have a hard time seeing that sometimes, and I

0:47:55.040 --> 0:47:56.840
<v Speaker 1>know it's possible, but I think that that would be

0:47:56.880 --> 0:47:59.840
<v Speaker 1>hard and maybe it does mean that they have to

0:47:59.840 --> 0:48:02.359
<v Speaker 1>be separate too, for him to be able to find

0:48:02.360 --> 0:48:03.080
<v Speaker 1>that healed version.

0:48:03.160 --> 0:48:04.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, just like with Mike, he'd always be

0:48:04.719 --> 0:48:07.239
<v Speaker 2>like there was he realized, He's like at the end,

0:48:07.280 --> 0:48:09.840
<v Speaker 2>like there would have never been any he would have

0:48:09.920 --> 0:48:11.480
<v Speaker 2>never stopped. And he even admitted that He's like, I

0:48:11.480 --> 0:48:13.759
<v Speaker 2>would have never stopped cheating because I was always in

0:48:13.800 --> 0:48:16.120
<v Speaker 2>a hole with you. I was always one down. I

0:48:16.239 --> 0:48:20.239
<v Speaker 2>was always like underground. He's like, I couldn't climb. I

0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:22.200
<v Speaker 2>was so down in the hole. There was no climbing

0:48:22.239 --> 0:48:23.920
<v Speaker 2>out of that hole. So you're just going to keep

0:48:23.920 --> 0:48:28.520
<v Speaker 2>repeating a pattern his are It just obviously obviously kept happening.

0:48:28.600 --> 0:48:31.399
<v Speaker 2>So with him, it's like he had to we had

0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:33.640
<v Speaker 2>to not be with each other to do our own healing.

0:48:33.680 --> 0:48:35.640
<v Speaker 2>And like, I hope he doesn't cheat on his new girlfriend.

0:48:35.640 --> 0:48:35.960
<v Speaker 3>I hope.

0:48:36.320 --> 0:48:39.239
<v Speaker 2>And it's not because I'm not good enough that he

0:48:39.239 --> 0:48:41.320
<v Speaker 2>didn't change for me. So we just couldn't change together

0:48:41.520 --> 0:48:43.799
<v Speaker 2>because I changed so much to post him and had

0:48:43.800 --> 0:48:46.880
<v Speaker 2>my own healing that I needed to do years before

0:48:46.920 --> 0:48:49.400
<v Speaker 2>Mike that I never got to do. So like, and

0:48:49.440 --> 0:48:51.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm a way better person now than I ever was

0:48:51.480 --> 0:48:53.760
<v Speaker 2>with Mike, you know, So he got like, so Alan's

0:48:53.800 --> 0:48:57.359
<v Speaker 2>getting a changed person. Yeah, and like I hope that

0:48:57.440 --> 0:48:59.960
<v Speaker 2>this new girl that he has is getting the change person.

0:49:00.080 --> 0:49:00.399
<v Speaker 4>And too.

0:49:00.480 --> 0:49:02.400
<v Speaker 2>It's better for our kids, better for ourselves, and we

0:49:02.440 --> 0:49:04.839
<v Speaker 2>want those people. But it doesn't. Don't take it away

0:49:04.840 --> 0:49:07.520
<v Speaker 2>from your own worth. Yeah, that you weren't worth changing for.

0:49:07.680 --> 0:49:10.560
<v Speaker 2>It's just some guys just can't get out of their

0:49:10.560 --> 0:49:14.160
<v Speaker 2>own shame to do the right thing each time.

0:49:14.920 --> 0:49:17.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, No, ownership not hot. Let her have him.

0:49:17.400 --> 0:49:19.640
<v Speaker 2>Also, we love you a lot, come hang out with

0:49:19.719 --> 0:49:24.560
<v Speaker 2>so much ladies. See you when I get back from Kentucky. Actually,

0:49:24.840 --> 0:49:28.000
<v Speaker 2>I'll see you on zooms. It's like, wait, we're going

0:49:28.040 --> 0:49:28.840
<v Speaker 2>to be doing zooms.

0:49:29.440 --> 0:49:31.120
<v Speaker 3>Love you, love you see it?

0:49:31.200 --> 0:49:35.400
<v Speaker 4>Hibachi? Yes, can I have a non Sey version?

0:49:37.040 --> 0:49:37.560
<v Speaker 3>Were good?

0:49:37.600 --> 0:49:39.319
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, check check out.

0:49:40.160 --> 0:49:41.680
<v Speaker 3>Hello goodbye, Hello bye