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Speaker 1: Whine Down with Janet Kramer and iHeart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, okay, hot Mike, I guys, Sorry, that was just

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Speaker 2: Catherine just checking in.

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Speaker 1: I thought I laughed and then it didn't register, so

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, I don't think my mic

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Speaker 1: is on.

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Speaker 3: No, it's on check check one. Let you doing great.

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Speaker 4: That was a great entrance. I like that.

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Speaker 3: We should be that every time. Just go he hello

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Speaker 3: a little.

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Speaker 4: Hey you guys listening? Are we there? Oh? Man? Where

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Speaker 4: do we even begin on today's episode? Where would you

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Speaker 4: like to start? Crammer? I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'd like to start with something called sacrificial lamb. Cat

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Speaker 2: we missed you last night.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, sorry, I can't make it.

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Speaker 2: I it's funny because I want to believe you because

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Speaker 2: I love you, But it just didn't sound like it's

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Speaker 2: supposed to be out of town.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you have to assume. Yeah, it was the

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Speaker 4: whole thing. What is with.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's part of this is whinying about it, and

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Speaker 2: I don't I will, I'll pin that piece, but remind me.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'll remind you. Anyways, going on, moving on.

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Speaker 4: Well, there's a lot going on you guys.

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Speaker 2: After that last show, everything hit the fan. It was

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Speaker 2: like a member. It was wild where yeah I was.

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Speaker 2: I was kind of stressed and crazy leaving for the movie, right,

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Speaker 2: and then an hour before I left for Kentucky, Oh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like wait what, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: Alan and I had to fire our nanny and it

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Speaker 2: was like wild wild wild wild, but uh so we are,

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Speaker 2: which I do. Just think it is hilarious because I

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Speaker 2: left here and I was driving and I leave you

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Speaker 2: this voice memo and I'm like, I just want you

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Speaker 2: to know I love you, and I feel like you're

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Speaker 2: doing great and everything's gonna work out, like I because

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Speaker 2: I feel that residual, like I feel the residual pea

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Speaker 2: bottom falling out, can't trust anyone like I just know

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Speaker 2: that feeling so well. And I was like, I'm just

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Speaker 2: going to reiterate, like maybe if we just keep telling

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Speaker 2: ourselves enough, you know, and each other enough.

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Speaker 3: Like twenty minutes later, you're like, god left.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I mean, the bottom doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Really foul out like you think you don't have it

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Speaker 1: together now, let's just throw this in there.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 2: It was just one of those where I because I

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Speaker 2: ended up it was such a out of body experience

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Speaker 2: where I had to voice memoy you guys to say

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Speaker 2: I'm not overreacting, and then you guys were like, absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was something happened that was so wildly

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Speaker 2: inappropriate that she did with our son. And so I

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Speaker 2: mean it was whether we because we do. I mean, shit,

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Speaker 2: I was leaving for a movie and you know we

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Speaker 2: don't have help leading up now being in the movie.

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Speaker 2: And so but there's there's things that happen that you

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Speaker 2: it's an immediate you're gone, yeah, and it's it's sad

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Speaker 2: because and it was one of those things where I

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Speaker 2: ended up I ended up texting her after I settled

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Speaker 2: down because I didn't do the talking.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't.

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Speaker 2: I was so upset when I kind of heard and

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Speaker 2: all this stuff, and so Alan did most of it,

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Speaker 2: and I ended up texting that night because I think

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Speaker 2: there are things that people do on a professional level

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Speaker 2: that are so wrong, like what she did was so wrong,

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Speaker 2: but on a human level. That's when I was like,

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Speaker 2: you are young, and you know I do care about

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Speaker 2: you so on a professional level that you know this

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Speaker 2: is why obviously, and you know why. And she was like,

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Speaker 2: I understand if you had to fire me, like she

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Speaker 2: understood so like professional level, that was wrong, and you know,

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Speaker 2: don't ever do that again with your next family.

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Speaker 4: Human level.

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Speaker 2: I care about you, you know, I hope you can

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Speaker 2: heal from all of this that you have going on,

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Speaker 2: and so I really tried to just because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I am older and you know I can. I could

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Speaker 2: have funded the police with it, you know. But again

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Speaker 2: I think there's profession, there's a human level. So but

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Speaker 2: and then I wrote like a really nice message and

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Speaker 2: was she receptive to it? She did not respond, and

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Speaker 2: she blocked me because she probably knows what we could

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Speaker 2: legally do. So but piece of me was like so

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Speaker 2: annoyed that she didn't respond because I was like, I

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Speaker 2: was so kind to you when you did something, so yeah,

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Speaker 2: you could be like I could legally go to the

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Speaker 2: police and have her arrested for she's.

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Speaker 3: Worried about that.

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Speaker 1: You would think that she would come back with like

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Speaker 1: a kind like thank you for but.

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Speaker 2: I think that just solidifies that, you know, be more

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Speaker 2: on paper guilt right now? Well true, yeah, but I

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Speaker 2: mean she blocked me, she didn't respond back, and that

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Speaker 2: piece I was like, damn it, like I was trying

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Speaker 2: to because I even was like I knew she wanted

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Speaker 2: to be a facialist, so I even said, and when

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Speaker 2: you book, so I was like, professional level, that was

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Speaker 2: so wrong, and I'm so sad and I'm so disappointed

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Speaker 2: human level. I care about you. I hope you heal

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Speaker 2: from this. I hope you know that you should never

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Speaker 2: you know, you know, be involved in this. And then

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Speaker 2: I go, and if you ever follow your dreams of

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Speaker 2: being a face, I hope I'm your first appointment that

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Speaker 2: gets to book, like just being that's really I that

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Speaker 2: was considered. Yeah, and then so then nothing and then

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, she blocked and well yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I was kind of bumming out, but I also

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Speaker 2: understood maybe like why, I mean, but whatever, So yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that.

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Speaker 4: That would bother me. It did bother im right now.

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Speaker 2: But it did bother me because I was like, I

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Speaker 2: could have went way off.

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Speaker 3: And remind me, you weren't even in there when she got.

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Speaker 2: Fired the first time that she I was in there.

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Speaker 2: That when Alan found out, because Alan found out before

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Speaker 2: me of what happened, and she lied about it. The

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Speaker 2: second time when we got more information and we called

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Speaker 2: her in, that's when I was in and that's when

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Speaker 2: we fired her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, gotcha.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 2: So but I let Alan do the most of the

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Speaker 2: docking because I was, yeah, spoiling. But that goes to

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Speaker 2: the part where it's so hard to trust m people

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Speaker 2: the hardest. Yeah, but anyway, that's right, children, Oh my goodness, And.

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Speaker 1: That's that's even my thing. I'm like to me, if

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Speaker 1: anything feels off with someone that's watching your children, it

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Speaker 1: could be super extreme, it could be not that extreme,

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Speaker 1: but you just don't feel.

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Speaker 3: Right about it. You have every right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just will always feel that way, like it

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Speaker 1: is your children. There's nothing more precious than that. And

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Speaker 1: if you're not comfortable with something that has happened, you

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Speaker 1: have every right to let them go.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just kind of a stressful time because

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Speaker 2: this at this stage while I'm recording right now, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: we have nobody and Alan has to work.

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Speaker 4: I can't cancel my movie, you know. So it's like

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Speaker 4: written into the script literally like Okay, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: now I'm a mom in the movie.

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Speaker 3: Like she has to go, but like, what are we

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Speaker 3: going to do?

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Speaker 2: He's got clinics and now he's he got a new

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Speaker 2: job doing something else that I can't shaw you up

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Speaker 2: very excited, like very excited about for him, and so

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Speaker 2: we're just like, you know, we've got a really great

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Speaker 2: two sitters that kind of helped us when he was younger,

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Speaker 2: so they've been helping out. But they don't want to

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Speaker 2: do full time. They don't want to do thirty hours,

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Speaker 2: and I need at least thirty So we're just kind

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Speaker 2: of figure piecing it together right now and trying to

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Speaker 2: figure it out. And we were meeting with uh someone

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Speaker 2: actually today and you know, she the girl was like,

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Speaker 2: do you have any you know, any requirements. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: as long as you don't do and then she's like, whoa,

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Speaker 2: She's like definitely not.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, well, then we're good. Yeah, bar is actually

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Speaker 4: real low rite.

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Speaker 1: Now, what about frustrating the one that you almost hired

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Speaker 1: that wanted more time to take another job?

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Speaker 4: Probably I don't want full time?

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Speaker 1: Well you just said full time you needed for thirty hours, okay,

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Speaker 1: so not like forty hours, yeah, thirty hours because.

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Speaker 2: I like to have my day. I like to have

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Speaker 2: one or two days with it, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: day and a half of them. So during the week

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Speaker 2: because I don't really I don't need every day, right,

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Speaker 2: So yeah, we're we're back to this conversation guys that

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Speaker 2: we've had.

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Speaker 4: That's all it's on in my life.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I feel like you just left for

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Speaker 1: the movie. You're like back and you literally went for

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Speaker 1: a day.

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Speaker 4: Guys.

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Speaker 2: It was so much fun. We were at the Keenland Races.

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Speaker 2: It was so awesome. But then I leave back to

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Speaker 2: go to Kentucky because I wanted to go to Yeah,

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Speaker 2: pretty much, I wanted to go to the Hope Grows

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Speaker 2: event last night for our therapy center.

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Speaker 4: You were supposed to be there. By the way, who

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Speaker 4: has my Hope Award? Do you have it? I don't

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Speaker 4: have her. I definitely don't have it because I wasn't there.

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Speaker 4: So last year we should catch them up.

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Speaker 2: So last year the podcast as a whole received We

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Speaker 2: received the Hope Award, which is people that are doing

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Speaker 2: work in the community talking about mental health, and our

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Speaker 2: podcast was Us Girls. We were the Hope Award winners

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Speaker 2: along with Jason Waller for his work that he's done

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Speaker 2: around mental health. And so I wasn't able to be

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Speaker 2: there because I was shooting gas lip by my husband,

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Speaker 2: and so I sent in a video. You girls accepted

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Speaker 2: the award and that is the speech. So this one

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Speaker 2: was next year, we were passing on the Hope Award.

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Speaker 2: It's our job to go up and present it to

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Speaker 2: the next recipient. And person is very upset with me.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say, how to go?

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Speaker 4: I thought to agree. I want to just repeat it was

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Speaker 4: our job to go. Okay, this is okay. We needed you.

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Speaker 4: I even looked at your last night. You wouldn't have

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Speaker 4: said anything Splitsville with me.

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Speaker 3: I did have to last year, and I really wanted

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Speaker 3: to puke you split well. I had to say something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I did say something accepting an award for sure,

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Speaker 2: this is different.

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Speaker 1: All I remember is my rings going to target last year.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that's right.

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Speaker 3: I do need you to.

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Speaker 2: Really put on your objective lens. When Kramer tells you

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Speaker 2: her version.

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Speaker 3: You're putting me in the middle. Okay, tell me what happened?

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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, can I hear let's let's let's start with

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Speaker 1: one version in the other version, where do we start?

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Speaker 2: We had no what what from my knowledge of it is,

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Speaker 2: did you know the rundown of the show?

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Speaker 4: They did email us out? Okay, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: I've been trying to study an entire script.

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Speaker 4: No, this isn't me throwing you under.

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Speaker 2: The bus, because I also had to search award in

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Speaker 2: my email and like cram for the test yesterday. Once

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Speaker 2: they said they wanted us at five, I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I need like a grip on this night, Like I

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Speaker 2: that's where I'm at.

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Speaker 4: I didn't even know the location.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, same, I was like, is this the Rolling Hills

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Speaker 2: Church in Franklin or in Nolan'sville?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 2: But also and I just I just knew that we

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Speaker 2: were giving me award to the Next Hope Award winner,

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Speaker 2: So we didn't know. Even Jason Waller calls me. I

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Speaker 2: was in Keenland at the races and Jason's got calling

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Speaker 2: and we were in a break and like hey buddy,

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Speaker 2: He's like, hey, so what are we doing?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, what do you mean? He's like, oh,

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Speaker 4: for the for the Hope Wars.

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Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, probably just gonna say like and

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Speaker 2: the next people are or whatever. Because last year Amy

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Speaker 2: did the rundown of everybody, right, so I thought she

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Speaker 2: was going to do the rundown again. They'll probably go back,

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Speaker 2: She'll probably go back like again, nobody really told us

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Speaker 2: anything until last second, so we just kind of thought

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Speaker 2: we were all going to be up there. But then

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Speaker 2: when we got there and we were trying to figure

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Speaker 2: out what we're going to say, and I'm like, she's funny.

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Speaker 4: You just go with it.

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Speaker 3: Oh, y'all had to come up with something to say.

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Speaker 2: But we didn't know because we didn't know they send

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Speaker 2: us her bio to learn about her, and I thought

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Speaker 2: they just sent it so that we could like know what,

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Speaker 2: like the capacity.

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Speaker 4: In which and why she's nominated.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I also was I misunderstood and thought Jason was also

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Speaker 2: presenting to our person name, but then we found out

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Speaker 2: he's like, oh, no, I'm just I'm I guess I'm

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Speaker 2: just presenting to Ben Zobrist, who was a base former

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Speaker 2: professional baseball player and he's doing a lot of stuff

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Speaker 2: around mental health as well. He's got a foundation, and

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Speaker 2: so he he's like, yeah, I'm just reading his thing,

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Speaker 2: and we're like, oh, okay, we didn't know. We didn't

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Speaker 2: know the timing, we didn't know when to go up.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it was like we had no literally no idea,

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Speaker 2: and so Christen's like, you know, do you want to

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Speaker 2: take the second part? I was like, no, just you

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Speaker 2: just read the whole thing, like it's two paragraphs, like

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Speaker 2: you got it. Because in my mind, when I watch

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Speaker 2: presentations and you're at this point of the program, it's

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Speaker 2: it's a it's worth.

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Speaker 4: It's least, it's ish, it's long, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Right, And so someone hasn't and then someone moves the

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Speaker 2: mic to them, to them, you know, and it's like

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Speaker 2: to me when I watch those things, I'm like, just

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Speaker 2: send one representative, like just you know, unless it's something

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Speaker 2: they want to share, a meaningful story, fine, whatever, but

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Speaker 2: like just send the one person.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like I'll be up there on.

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Speaker 2: The stage with you, so like you already know the

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Speaker 2: like the first part of it, like just just read

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Speaker 2: both of it because like then for me to walk

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Speaker 2: up or like for me to like and I didn't

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Speaker 2: memorize it, by the way, I was just going to

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Speaker 2: read that course like there's no yeah, but I'm saying that.

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Speaker 1: I would have had a panic attack if I got

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Speaker 1: there and was told that we should to say more than.

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Speaker 2: I Yeah, just read the thing, and I'm like it's

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Speaker 2: just like for for you just to read one and

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Speaker 2: then for me to come in. It's just to me

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Speaker 2: just felt kind of chunky and like chopped. So I

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Speaker 2: just read the whole thing just because it's you know,

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Speaker 2: I said, then you read the whole thing because it's

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Speaker 2: your podcast. But no, it was not me though we

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Speaker 2: all got the award. That was my point. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: it's not just and like that. That's the thing. I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 2: I understand, it's it's not just my pos like, it's ours,

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Speaker 2: Like you guys are you know on it too? You

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Speaker 2: also got the award. It's not just me that got

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Speaker 2: the award. You got the award last year. You got

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Speaker 2: the award last year. So I'm like, and I don't

302
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Speaker 2: always want to be front center, especially in those kind

303
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Speaker 2: of things that you should like, you should be the

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Speaker 2: you know whatever. I also hate speaking in Then.

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Speaker 3: I'd do one thing real fast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this same I was gonna like the only one

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Speaker 2: that got the award, your name on the award.

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Speaker 3: We actually so there's that.

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Speaker 2: I don't even it's it's in Catherine's car somewhere under

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Speaker 2: a seat, So why go through me? And they have

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Speaker 2: given you the award and not I don't remember, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they definitely regardless, I don't know who they gave it.

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Speaker 4: I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I don't remember.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't like they didn't really Amy just kind of

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Speaker 2: called us all up together. So it's just was like weird,

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Speaker 2: Like it was just weird, like I didn't know the

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Speaker 2: run of it, wasn't organized in that piece of.

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Speaker 1: It actually say real fast, I even remember last year

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Speaker 1: not having a clue when we even went up, yeah,

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Speaker 1: or like how we got up.

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Speaker 2: And it or like a little bit even more I

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Speaker 2: could this year, like to the point where like Jason

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Speaker 2: introduces Ben and Ben stay seated and then Jason assos it.

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Speaker 4: I thought he was coming. So that's why I was like,

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Speaker 4: that's where I just like froze.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I phrase, and so then Jason's like ladies,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh okay, Like but to have

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Speaker 2: someone talk about you publicly and you just sit there

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Speaker 2: and wait your turn. And then we talked about the

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Speaker 2: other one publicly and then they both came up.

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Speaker 4: No, we didn't need to wait, so did Janna?

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Speaker 3: So you went up?

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Speaker 1: I thought you said you did. You said went up, Sorry, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm following.

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Speaker 3: She still thought. Then didn't go up.

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Speaker 1: Yeh. Janna's so like Jana's wedding rested behind you and

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Speaker 1: you talked got us. I'm there, yeah, no, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: just setting one representative. Okay, so you said, so I

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Speaker 1: even thought I'll ask. I was like, I bet sports Alan,

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Speaker 1: you know, like coach Allen. I thought if I could

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Speaker 1: just get in super striker mode if I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, does Alan know that you're not talking all

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Speaker 1: up there?

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Speaker 2: You know? And she was like and I tapped on

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Speaker 2: alan shoulder. I was like, is she's not going to talk?

347
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Speaker 2: And he's like he whispers her a year.

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Speaker 4: They laughed.

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Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, I'm still not talking. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I and she kept going, but I'm in the award.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, I'm the one giving

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Speaker 2: the award, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Like that like that was like, actually I didn't.

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Speaker 2: See the point of And I asked Alan after He's

355
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Speaker 2: like it's like either way.

356
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Speaker 4: He's like, you know, so.

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm just reading it. You go read it.

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Speaker 2: I just I'll stand there and hold the award. Didn't

359
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Speaker 2: do it anyways. I called myself the sacrificial lamb. I

360
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Speaker 2: was like, here we go, I'm back up there. And

361
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Speaker 2: I was spicy coming in cat oh was She's spicy.

362
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Speaker 2: She was spicy. I said, the irony that I'm on

363
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Speaker 2: the verge of a mental breakdown going to a mental

364
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Speaker 2: health advocacy program is like not lost, Tony. I was spicy,

365
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Speaker 2: and I wanted to be in this like holy place

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Speaker 2: where everyone was like really getting emotional, and I just was,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know what's happened. If I'm

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Speaker 2: being so honest though, like I know my face is

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Speaker 2: right here, but I don't like it.

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Speaker 4: To make it about it, I know you don't, So

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Speaker 4: that is why if.

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Speaker 2: I'm being honest, I was like, I want you to

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Speaker 2: have your moment to like and I'm there, I'm there.

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Speaker 1: Let me see what I'm also saying preface this by

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Speaker 1: you don't necessarily want it that way.

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Speaker 3: It's just the reality. It just is.

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Speaker 1: I know you don't want it that way. You even

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Speaker 1: send us things like hey girl, like we I know that, Like,

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Speaker 1: I know you don't want it that way. We actually

380
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Speaker 1: the least artist artist. I know you want it so

381
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Speaker 1: much to be us three that's just not always the reality, which.

382
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Speaker 3: You know I'm good with. I'm not like complaining about.

383
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Speaker 1: But the honest to God's truth is the reality of

384
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Speaker 1: your face is the one. You're the one that brings

385
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Speaker 1: in because you have the following. So that's just the reality.

386
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Speaker 1: I know you don't like it that way. You would

387
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Speaker 1: love for us all. You would literally bring anyone into

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Speaker 1: your to want that. Like, let me be clear. So

389
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Speaker 1: when I say that, I don't mean it in that way.

390
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Speaker 3: I know you don't want it that way. It's just

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Speaker 3: kind of the reality of what it is.

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Speaker 2: But in like that night, I'm like, let's say, but

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Speaker 2: I hear your like for that, I get that, you

394
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Speaker 2: know what I mean?

395
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Speaker 3: Yeah, the reading loud, for the read aloud.

396
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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not.

397
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Speaker 2: You're just so good with your words. I'm not great

398
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 2: in that space when it's when I don't really know

399
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, like you're you like, even if the

400
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,879
Speaker 2: last thing you said was so well said, I'm like,

401
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 2: I couldn't said that. I'd have been like, here your word.

402
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I honestly like, I hate talking on stage.

403
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,439
Speaker 1: Janna really doesn't like it either, go figure, you know.

404
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: I mean, like she's the artist, but she doesn't like it.

405
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 1: She doesn't enjoy it either. It makes her uncomfortable. And

406
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Speaker 1: so I do think to a fault sometimes again, I

407
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Speaker 1: wasn't there, so I'm not, but like you know, I

408
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 1: fall back on you, like, man, Kristen's so good at this,

409
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Speaker 1: She's so great. It's like such a strength of yours

410
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 1: that I do think that it can If I were

411
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Speaker 1: there one hundred percent, I would have been like, oh,

412
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Speaker 1: christ I's got this, and it's in a positive way.

413
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Speaker 1: It's like you're just so good at this, and I'm

414
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Speaker 1: so uncomfortable.

415
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Speaker 3: I think I thought good at this.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry the unsturdy coming in for sure, Like you

417
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Speaker 2: know that feeling where you're just like could cry at

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Speaker 2: any moment, absolutely, like right.

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Speaker 1: Now, well, and those things are going to happen. We're

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Speaker 1: going to be in bad places and the things are

421
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Speaker 1: going to happen. But I want you to see that

422
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Speaker 1: I believe if I were there, that this intention was

423
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Speaker 1: is that you're just so good at this, And I

424
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Speaker 1: did feel that way out like this, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: like so I do feel like I would have probably

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Speaker 1: done the same thing. Obviously, I didn't want to speak

427
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,400
Speaker 1: when I had to do the award you talked for like,

428
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Speaker 1: I think we had one minute and I was like, great,

429
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Speaker 1: you've got fifty five seconds and I've got five seconds.

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Speaker 2: And the only way that I could do it that

431
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Speaker 2: I felt comfortable was because I sent in a video

432
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Speaker 2: from from Morgantown, West Virginia, you know what I mean,

433
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Speaker 2: And I redid it twenty million footing time. Yeah, And

434
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Speaker 2: I will say I did have this moment last night

435
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Speaker 2: where I was like, I just need to get out

436
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Speaker 2: of my own way because I had the other part

437
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 2: about this is it wasn't like it wasn't a free

438
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 2: like I didn't get to go up and like say

439
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 2: much or make a joke like it didn't fit. That's

440
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 2: when I almost wanted to come up because I knew.

441
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,159
Speaker 2: I was like I don't get to like break the

442
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 2: ice or make a funny joke or like you know,

443
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,040
Speaker 2: like I And you know, one thing that's like really

444
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 2: interesting about all us, like sometimes when you're you have

445
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,920
Speaker 2: a strength, then you're leaned on a lot for that strength.

446
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 3: But that can feel like a lot of pressure.

447
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: For instance, you are the obviously the face and the

448
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,360
Speaker 1: glue of this podcast, and so we lean on you

449
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 1: because it's essentially you started this podcast. It's you know,

450
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 1: and that can be a lot of pressure at times.

451
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 1: You're really good at going on stage and talking or whatever.

452
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: But in that night, you weren't having a great night

453
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: and it felt like a lot of pressure and you

454
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: didn't want.

455
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 4: That pressure down. And I'm sorry you didn't let me down.

456
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 4: I did.

457
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 2: I should have. I should have. You really had my

458
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 2: own stuff aside. But I also I had those other asterisks.

459
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I want her to have her moment,

460
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 2: and like you, I didn't take it like. I just

461
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 2: kept making jokes. I was like cream or just anything,

462
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 2: because I'm also like, it isn't my podcast, you know, like.

463
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: And I get that feeling too, Like I was like, are.

464
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 4: They just like is this gonna be? I don't know.

465
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 2: It was really we really just laughed a lot about it,

466
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: Like I kept sliding the phone laughing because I'm joking.

467
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 2: But then I was like at them when it happened

468
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 2: because of how awkward the the whole stuff was. I

469
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 2: was like, oh, she's mad. I even texted Catherine and

470
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 2: was like, I think that was actually mad at me. No,

471
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 2: I wasn't mad, Grison. Yeah, I really wasn't mad at you.

472
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 2: I I want to share them before, but I don't

473
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: want to. Well, I think that before is a really

474
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: I know, but it's dumb, but it's not dumb.

475
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 1: But it's always it's like reasons why we react to things.

476
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 3: Again, maybe we.

477
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 4: Can move into wine about it.

478
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, let's.

479
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 2: Take a break and get to wine about it. Dearest listeners.

480
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 2: We are now in wine about it. And there is

481
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 2: a good chance that I might be in my pre

482
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 2: minstrel cycle. And that is why this is so emotionally driven.

483
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: So I had a dress that I hadn't worn, and

484
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 2: I was like, this will be perfect for Hope grows.

485
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 4: It felt like it made me feel condensed, and it

486
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 4: long sleeve, and I.

487
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 2: Just felt like like it would I felt like I

488
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: could just be myself. I didn't have to worry. You're

489
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 2: not wondering like if things are hanging out or tucked

490
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 2: in whatever. And when I tried to try it on

491
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 2: earlier in the week, I couldn't zip it up.

492
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,719
Speaker 4: Okay, that's a little listen. I do not think I'm

493
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 4: a big person. I'm not.

494
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 3: I just was like, oh, that's.

495
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 2: Disappointing, right, So I thought I'll give it a couple

496
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 2: of days, you know, I'll like water weight whatever, and

497
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 2: I'll put on spanks and I'll try again. Hope Awards day,

498
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,679
Speaker 2: Well I did, and I busted the zipper trying to

499
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 2: put it up. So I wrote to jan I go,

500
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 2: what are you wearing? Because at one point her and

501
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: I had talked about it. I'm not laughing at it,

502
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 2: I know, and I busted the zip. Yeah, it was

503
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 2: a comedy moment.

504
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 4: Listen.

505
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: Also, I like pinky swear on Life Bible. I was

506
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: not mad at her last night at all. I just

507
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: was like, I don't think they're here to see me,

508
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 2: so I'd like that to just like get up there,

509
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: read the bio, read aloud. Anyways, So I busted the zipper.

510
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 2: Well that's all happening. Preston originally couldn't come with me,

511
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 2: which or originally he could come with me. Then he

512
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: booked a show, so I took my RSVP down to one,

513
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: and then I tried to add one a couple weeks

514
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: ago because I thought maybe I was assuming you and

515
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 2: Nick were coming her and Alan, and I'm like, maybe

516
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 2: I don't want to sit alone. I default two alone

517
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: always I do everything alone. So but I'm trying this

518
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,439
Speaker 2: like newness kind of chapter in my life where I'm like,

519
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 2: do I do that because I want to or just

520
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: because that's like what I know. So I thought, well,

521
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 2: maybe I could bring like a friend like I thought

522
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 2: about Sarah Bryce Ashley Wilson, like I just you know,

523
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 2: like I was like, I'll bring up or even love

524
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 2: until I watched the video and it felt like the

525
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: subject matter was a little heavy. So when I tried

526
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 2: to add one more it was they were like, no

527
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 2: big deal, just let us know because we have to

528
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: shift tables around. And I'm like, well that's I said, no, no, no, no,

529
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: I'll fly solo. It's fine. So I bust the zipper

530
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 2: last night. I've already got a velcro baby stuck to

531
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 2: me like doesn't want me to you know, everyone's in

532
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 2: and out of the bathroom.

533
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 4: It's totally fine. I've got it's fine.

534
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 2: But I'm already like my hair doesn't feel great, Like

535
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 2: I'm just in a mode and I'm trying to feel

536
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 2: like and I keep going like this is going to

537
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 2: be great. Whatever I wear is going to pull together,

538
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 2: it's going to be fine. The busted zipper was hard

539
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 2: two times over because I am not wearing what I want.

540
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 2: And also that is a real feeling like we I

541
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 2: had Preston and Christine trying to zip me into this, okay.

542
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 2: So Preston says, well, I feel he was excited. He

543
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 2: was excited because his show got canceled and he could

544
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,160
Speaker 2: get to Legends game last night because there's seventy five

545
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: things going on at once. This is my wine about it,

546
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: because I feel like I can never plan.

547
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 4: Anything.

548
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 2: And so he baseball game gets canceled because we're in

549
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 2: the middle trenchill downpour. And so he's like, maybe I

550
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: go with you five minutes before I'm heading out the door.

551
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: And I said, well, I would love that, but you

552
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 2: can't because the tea it's already signed, seating, there's tables,

553
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. And so he didn't get to go.

554
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: So I call cranmerround the way. She's like, he should

555
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 2: just come. We'll pull up a table, you know, we'll

556
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 2: pull up a chair, blah blah blah. Well, no, I

557
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: he was already promised Legend you take him to the woods.

558
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 2: And I'm like, everything just feels so chaotic and clunky,

559
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm doing my best to round my

560
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 2: A type edges and not be so like that is

561
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 2: my I came out with the clipboard. I'm sure I

562
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 2: was born with one and so I'm trying to like

563
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 2: really be flexible. I feel like I do a good

564
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 2: job for my personality type in our world doing that.

565
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 2: But at some point, I'm like, it would have been

566
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: great just to have him to hold my hand. Sure, well,

567
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 2: that's why I held your hand because I was holding

568
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 2: Alan's hands what I was gonna say, And so then

569
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 2: I had this momentere I was like, she's by herself,

570
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 2: and so I was like, I just that's when I

571
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,160
Speaker 2: held your hand and they were talking about cycle breakers,

572
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 2: and like, I mean, it was really it's always powerful.

573
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 4: That night is so powerful. But yeah, I just really I.

574
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: Feel like nothing stays the way it's planned, and I'm

575
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: trying to like embrace that and be more joyful. And

576
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 2: part of me is just being frustrated too, you know

577
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: that's fair the like Kentucky, you know, you're like, oh,

578
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: I've got a nanny, and then one hour later you

579
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 2: don't have a nanny, and it's just like, at some

580
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: point it just feels like, I don't know. The funny

581
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: piece of that was when we called Preston. We're like,

582
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 2: come on, Preston, and he's like, I wasn't invited, and

583
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 2: I was like.

584
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 3: The funnier pieces.

585
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: We hung up with Preston and we run right into

586
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 2: a couple's therapists and I was like, yeah, I.

587
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 4: Should have kept you on the phone for five more minutes.

588
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 2: That was funny because our couple of therapists obviously was

589
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 2: you know, it's at the same therapy center. And so

590
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 2: she's like, you know, do you want me to address

591
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: you if I see you at the event, And I'm like, oh, yeah,

592
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: I don't care, Like I'm very free about talking. We

593
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: actually just talked about a couple of therapy that we go

594
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 2: on our last adult education episode. And so while we

595
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 2: were walking in her and her husband when it was

596
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 2: like this same time, and I'm like, this is our

597
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 2: couples therapist was a mess.

598
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 4: Anyways, I'm just you know, it's just.

599
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 2: The dominoes of like and then you know, you're going

600
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: up on stage, you're su're not You're still not sure

601
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 2: what you're gonna say, and so I'm coming in not feeling.

602
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 2: I had like two hard boiled eggs for dinner, like

603
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 2: cause I'm you know, trying to make everybody feel good

604
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 2: before I leave. It's just that feeling. And then you

605
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 2: get there and you're supposed to be this like stoic,

606
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 2: well spoken, maybe even funny person, and I just was like,

607
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: I don't feel like this, like I want to weep

608
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 2: in a chair and eat this dessert. Actually, so that

609
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 2: was that I've hijacked it. Well, I'm sorry that I

610
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 2: didn't show it for you better as a friend, and

611
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 2: that no, you couldn't have known. And I couldn't talk

612
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 2: about much of it on my way there because I

613
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 2: knew if I did, I.

614
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 4: Would just cry.

615
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: And I was like, I have fresh makeup on. I

616
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: just need to take a deep breath and remember Jesus's

617
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 2: hands on my shoulders. That's what I always picture. He

618
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 2: stands behind me with his hands on my shoulders and

619
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 2: I can take a deep breath. And so I was

620
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 2: just trying to get in that place. And then it

621
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 2: got even more clunky up at the podium, and the

622
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 2: podium is see through.

623
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's not like.

624
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 4: You can hide behind it.

625
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: Even so you're like you use that as like a yeah,

626
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, I mean I have hives

627
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 2: thinking about it. So yeah, it's like a win to

628
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 2: you do your soul and they're up there and yeah,

629
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 2: no chance for the Icebreaker.

630
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 4: It just was not my Well, are you having a

631
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 4: better day today? Yeah?

632
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: Good? Yeah, And I'm getting up and working out every

633
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 2: morning because I know that helps with this feeling that

634
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 2: I'm having. Sure, the zipping up dress is feeling and

635
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: also the anxiety. Right, yeah, I'm just in a season.

636
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 2: It's really fine. I'm sure you know, Creamer really thinks up.

637
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 2: I promise I was not. I just kept thinking, they

638
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 2: want to see you, they don't want to see me.

639
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 4: That's the feeling.

640
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 2: So I didn't want to be the one that was

641
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 2: talking because oh and see, I want to give that too,

642
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 2: you know what.

643
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 1: And that's always going to be a feeling that we'll

644
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: probably always kind of have around, you know.

645
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 4: I mean, and it's just listen, I want you, I

646
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 4: want that.

647
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,199
Speaker 3: I so bad this show. I try. I try. I

648
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 3: say things all the time what Gathered says. Except for

649
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,639
Speaker 3: a few people on the social media.

650
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 4: I care, and I would like to have them quote you,

651
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 4: not me.

652
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: But it's fine. I like not having that yeah.

653
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, oh god, what are the things I would

654
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 2: say if I didn't care?

655
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. It is, That's what I'm saying.

656
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: I feel like being able to have that. I mean,

657
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: I definitely will have people send me stuff, but like

658
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: you know, it's not that big of a deal speaking

659
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: of this isn't a wine down, but this is like

660
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: a positive thing. A whine about it, but a positive thing.

661
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: From what we talked about last week. I think it

662
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: was last week we talked about we should do we

663
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: should have a positive I want to That was my

664
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: thought today when I was getting ready, because I was

665
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: trying to think about if I had any wine about

666
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: it and wines about it, and I was like, you know,

667
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: I've got like the same old like you know whatever,

668
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,719
Speaker 1: but I really don't have anything. And I was thinking,

669
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: we if we don't, I think it's a good thing

670
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: to go, Hey, we don't have a whine about it.

671
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 3: Let's let's talk about some positive stuff. Anyway.

672
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: All that to say, when we talked about filling in

673
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: the blanks, I think it was last week. I had

674
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: this sweet follower that we will go back and forth

675
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: a lot on social media about different things and we'll

676
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: like debate stuff or whatever, and she's so super super sweet. Well,

677
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: she had sent me something like last week or something,

678
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: and I was just in really busy mode with the kids,

679
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: and I remembered getting it, but it was like a video.

680
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 1: I didn't watch it whatever, and I didn't respond, so

681
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: she listened to the podcast. I guess it would have

682
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: been this on Monday, okay, because she sends me a

683
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: message and she was like, I'm just going to send

684
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: this to you because I was just listening about filling

685
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: in the blanks and I wanted to tell you that

686
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: I'm filling in the blanks right now. With you not responding,

687
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: I feel like I offended you. And if that's the case,

688
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: like I'm so sorry, blah blah blah blah blah, but

689
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: like we usually talk about this and you always respond. Anyway,

690
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: it was just this really sweet message. I was like,

691
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you sent me that. Yeah, because like

692
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: good for you, because I was literally just busy, haven't

693
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 1: even looked at the video, yeah, just not in a place.

694
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh my gosh, I feel so

695
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: much better.

696
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 3: Anyway.

697
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: It was just a really positive note that I was like,

698
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: maybe she would have done that before, but I don't

699
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 1: think she would have. I think it really helped her

700
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: to say just tell me, like, I'm filling in the

701
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: blanks here, and it makes me not feel good, like

702
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: she was worried about it.

703
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 2: Well, that's really sweet because I had to block like

704
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: five more people from the last episode. You're ugly, that

705
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: dress looks terrible on you.

706
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 3: Wait, what dress? What are we talking about?

707
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,719
Speaker 2: When when I had to did my Amazon, I posted

708
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: a reel of some of the dresses and I'll, you know,

709
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 2: go to my requests and you see my dms, and

710
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 2: there was a couple like, you're you look disgusting, the

711
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: dress looks terrible on you. And then one I responded

712
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 2: to and I was just like, well, I'm really glad

713
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 2: you don't have to wear it, like have a blessed day. Yeah,

714
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: And the other is I just I just straight blocked.

715
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: So but I'm like, well, I'm sorry, that's just yeah,

716
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: I'm really happy that you have.

717
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I definitely got the you know, attacts

718
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: last week, but I just thought that that was a positive.

719
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: But she took it, she listened, and then it it

720
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: kind of enabled her just or whatever, like gave her.

721
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,239
Speaker 4: Absolutely. I love that. I love that.

722
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 2: Brittany Cartwright claims ex Jax Taylor has never scheduled an

723
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 2: appointment for their four year old son, Cruise, so she's

724
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 2: opened up about her estranged husband, Jack's Brittany is on

725
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: the valley, and she said that, you know, he wants

726
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 2: to be a great dad. He is a great dad,

727
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: but he's never scheduled an appointment, never hired a therapist,

728
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 2: never hired a school, you know, nothing like that. So

729
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 2: there's a difference. So every now and then, I feel

730
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 2: like I want him to be in his school and

731
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: he's like, well, maybe he should be in this type

732
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 2: of school.

733
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, you haven't done anything, you know. She said.

734
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: It's a bit annoying and can make co parenting harder

735
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 2: because she feels like she's getting the heavyweight, and if

736
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: we disagree on something, it agitates me because I'm the

737
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 2: one that has to do all the research. Not that

738
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: all dads are like that. Some dads are hands on

739
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 2: and everything. I do feel like there's a difference in

740
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 2: moms uh and dads for the most part.

741
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 4: I mean, I.

742
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: Gotta be honest, Well, I feel like whether you're married

743
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 2: or co parenting, I mean, even when I was married

744
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 2: to Mike, he never made one doctor's appointment, and now

745
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 2: married to Alan, like, he's not made one doctor's appointment

746
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 2: for Roman, I make and I don't have a problem

747
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 2: like that, And I just know now that's my response, like,

748
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 2: that's just what falls on the moms to do.

749
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: If I asked Nick to call the doctor if someone

750
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: needed to go, he absolutely would, but he would say

751
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: who is their doctor? Yes, without a doubt, he would

752
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: have no clue. He would do it, but he doesn't know.

753
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, same, and I will say what I've done now

754
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 2: with And this is my only advice, maybe to Brittany,

755
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: is because I don't want to have to do all

756
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: of it with my co parent with Mike. So I

757
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 2: don't like the dentist. We all know that I've talked

758
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,719
Speaker 2: about not liking the dentist. He is in charge of

759
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 2: making dentists appointments for the kids.

760
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 4: I don't want. I just don't want to do it.

761
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 4: I don't want to take them.

762
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 2: I don't want to go, like I don't want I

763
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 2: take them to do all their other appointments.

764
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 4: That is his.

765
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 3: That's smart.

766
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: So I'm like, you get the dentist. So like even

767
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 2: I saw he he scheduled them on two different days

768
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 2: and I said, I need you to can you please

769
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: reschedule those two because the last week of school and

770
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 2: we have them at the same time, and I don't

771
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: want to take them both days, you know, because those

772
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 2: are now on my day. So he normally so yeah,

773
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 2: like ninety nine percent of the time and he is

774
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: scheduling and taking the kids. I actually taken them a

775
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: few times, but it's like that I want you that

776
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: is for your day, and I like that takes I

777
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 2: literally have to I have to ask him, though obviously

778
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: you do it.

779
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 3: But I mean I think that's okay. I don't know,

780
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 3: I don't.

781
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: People might disagree with me, but it's not that it's

782
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 1: a mom's job, but it's just kind.

783
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: Of kind of is kind of is I guess is

784
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: there's probably something else there, Like I don't know that

785
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 2: it's about scheduling appointment.

786
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: Here's the other thing I was going to say.

787
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 2: Like it's just the low hanging fruit to be like

788
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 2: and I do this, you know, like I feel like

789
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 2: there's so much weight on us there. I mean, there's

790
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 2: studies that come out with the amount of schedules that

791
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 2: we hold in our brain and everything that's on a

792
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: mom's played specifically in this like in a twenty twenty

793
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: five mom is like another job and a half.

794
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: Right, But what I was gonna say, is the comment

795
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: he makes about the school.

796
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 3: Now, that would bother.

797
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 1: Me if you don't like she said, he makes comments

798
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: about maybe he should be in a different school.

799
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 3: I think it's a heat.

800
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's where I would go and do the research. Okay,

801
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: then do the research and what kind of school do

802
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,439
Speaker 1: you think that they should be in? And let's talk

803
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: about that that I feel like maybe because that would

804
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 1: bother me, Like if you don't like the doctor, then

805
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 1: do some research and find your own doctor, you know,

806
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: or if you don't like so I feel like maybe

807
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: that's something that's getting to her.

808
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like again, it's just kind of

809
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 2: I mean, even with you know, Jolie's dyslexy talking emailing

810
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 2: school and I actually like because I know it's it's

811
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: getting done and I don't have to ask, hey did

812
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 2: you do Hey did you call and make the eighteen

813
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: month appointment? Or hey, you know when we actually we

814
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 2: got in a waiting list and we we're in now

815
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: the new pediatric place. So you know, those are things

816
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: that I don't want to have to ask because it

817
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: might not be as its appointments aren't important to them,

818
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 2: but they've got other things they're doing, so I just

819
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 2: it's you know, we can, we can do it. And

820
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 2: but when it comes to the co parenting, that's when

821
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, can you handle this piece? Yeah, and

822
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 2: I'll handle the rest. I also love feeling connected. So

823
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 2: when I'm making the appointments and I'm in charge of

824
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 2: all this, like that makes me feel connected to Like

825
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 2: I don't want to have to tune in or catch

826
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: up on that.

827
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 3: Kind of I want to say.

828
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 1: I mean, yes, the controlling part of me is not

829
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is gonna get but like I don't

830
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: want my husband picking the doctor and yeah, the dentist

831
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: and where they're going to school. Like I want to

832
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: make that decision. And I think dads know that they

833
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: know that the moms want to make that decision. I

834
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: think they'd be more willing to more than willing.

835
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: To help if you asked. Yeah, but like moms want

836
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 3: to decide where their kids are going.

837
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 2: Well, that's the thing too, Like even when we talk

838
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 2: about the vaccination stuff, like I know, at the end

839
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 2: of the day, Alan has his definite input, but it's

840
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 2: going to to most likely come to But having said that,

841
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: we know we there's something else with Roman that I

842
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 2: leaned very heavily on his opinion, and we ended up

843
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,919
Speaker 2: going with his opinion on it because it's a male part.

844
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 4: So you know what I mean, Like there are things where.

845
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: That's his choice, you know, to have that mm hm

846
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, do that whatever. Yeah, maybe, well I

847
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 2: think it's like what you're passionate about. Yeah, Like Preston knows,

848
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: I'm passionate about the schooling, the doctor, like all of

849
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: that piece. And he trusts me because I am passionate.

850
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 2: I do learn more than like he would want to learn.

851
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: And he's like, no, you've got it. And I don't

852
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: think it makes them. It doesn't make Mike a bad

853
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 2: dad that he doesn't do the school emails or the

854
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 2: doctor's appointments or and it doesn't make Alan a bad day.

855
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 2: It doesn't make them a not hands on dad. Like

856
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 2: Alan is incredibly hands on, he just doesn't deal with

857
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 2: the logistics of the schooling or the preschools or the whatever.

858
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: Like for example, with this movie, I said to him,

859
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: with the our girls that we've used when Roman was

860
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 2: little a part time, it's like, can you please text her?

861
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to be the middleman with scheduling.

862
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 2: I don't know what you need, so those things, like

863
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 2: you know, they're gonna have to take over. But SAIDs

864
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 2: that doctors. Woman's doesn't make them ad a bad person

865
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: or a bad parent for not doing that.

866
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

867
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: I do. Mom shares her clever ruse for getting kids

868
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: to eat her homemade food. When your kids get picky

869
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 2: about dinner, just order takeout.

870
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 4: It's such a fun thing.

871
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 2: Alex McLaren, who cooks homemade meals and serves them to

872
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: her unsuspecting children in restaurant takeout containers. Oh that's so interesting.

873
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: So she puts her food in takeout containers. That's funny

874
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 2: as presentation matters. I learned this early on.

875
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but aren't people gonna order? Aren't they going to

876
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 1: order different things? If it's takeout? Like my kids would

877
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: and order all the same things.

878
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 4: Yours couldn't probably be duped either though at this age.

879
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: No, that's true. But like you know what I'm saying,

880
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: I take out, all five of us aren't ordering the

881
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: same thing.

882
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, it's a really good point. I just cook

883
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 4: you guys. I'm cooking stunny.

884
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm cooking so many I'm cooking so

885
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: many foods right now, we are struggling in the dinner department.

886
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 4: Oh, like I'm trying. I'm trying, but like legend is

887
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:33,720
Speaker 4: just so picky.

888
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 2: So I try to do a version of whatever I'm

889
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 2: making for them, but like I also just need the

890
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 2: kid to eat.

891
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's Caine.

892
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 3: I hear what she's say.

893
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 2: Oh on the Southwest salads and extra and you're.

894
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 3: Like, I can promise you were not all ordering the

895
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 3: same thing. I will say.

896
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 4: I got those like little burger baskets.

897
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 2: Do you remember those, like little plastic oval baskets with

898
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 2: like the paper. Yeah, I got those for the kids

899
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: last year, and like sometimes I just do like it's

900
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 2: like Fridy night or whatever, and I just cuwe because

901
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 2: it's in a different basket, or like it feels like

902
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,280
Speaker 2: they're at the diner. Or I give them a menu.

903
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 2: They like that too, and they check the boxes and

904
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: it's all things I was going to make anyway, So

905
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 2: it just makes them feel Joel is.

906
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 4: Really big on hibachi right now.

907
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 3: I love a lot.

908
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 4: I have a Blackstone. I don't even know what hibachi is.

909
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love habachi.

910
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,439
Speaker 4: What is there after? Like rice?

911
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: And chicken and the big hibachi grill you know, like

912
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: toss away though. Remember, well, yeah, you're not going to

913
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: do well with hibachi, but you just started that. How

914
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: did you not know hubachi before forty years? I've never

915
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,399
Speaker 1: really eaten them, you know where they go in the fire. Yeah,

916
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: and they're like tossing onions and shrimp in the cat's.

917
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 3: Mouth and so fun.

918
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. I know I've been to one, but it was

919
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: Benny on Us maybe maybe yeah, is that about you

920
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 2: think that sounds like it?

921
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 4: Well, Joelie is like like, hawa, No, I.

922
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 1: Mean you're not going to eat well, you get, but

923
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 1: I would love to another time because I I love

924
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: about you and I need a good one around here

925
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 1: because ours closed.

926
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, let's do that.

927
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 2: Internet reacts to learning Oscar voters didn't have to watch

928
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 2: all nominated movies until now.

929
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 4: So, uh, that's crazy. Well, all award shows are really fair?

930
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 4: Well that's what I basically was going to say.

931
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 2: I would love to find an award show that was

932
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 2: actually fair and not vote not traded votes.

933
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm assuming oscars are the same with all that I

934
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 1: know nothing about, like the acting, Yeah, I'm assuming pretty much.

935
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 4: So until this year.

936
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 2: They didn't have to watch the films to vote. From

937
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: what I'm seeing, I.

938
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 3: Mean, it's not like we have to listen to the

939
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 3: albums to vote.

940
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I'm passionate. Anything else you want to say,

941
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 4: they're cat Wow, I'll vote for you.

942
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 2: Hello, wind down, ladies, serious listener. I need advice, friends, therapy, drinks.

943
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 2: I need help give it. Around my entire marriage twenty nine

944
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: plus years less, I always had a hunch that my

945
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 2: husband was cheating on me. This started from the very beginning,

946
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,880
Speaker 2: but I never caught him, and he would always have

947
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 2: a great reason to why I felt that way, usually

948
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 2: paranoia on my side. Oh the gaslighting that was additional

949
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 2: for me.

950
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:14,240
Speaker 3: Sorry.

951
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 2: Fast forward to December twenty twenty three, and one of

952
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 2: these women reached out to me, telling me that he

953
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,399
Speaker 2: needed to be stopped and he was with someone else

954
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 2: at that moment. Oh, there is so much I could say,

955
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 2: but I will try to keep this as short as possible.

956
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 2: After a few days of him saying he was sorry,

957
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 2: admitting to sleeping with all the women I had a

958
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 2: hunch on, I decided I had to give him a

959
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: chance to prove himself. Fast forward to September twenty twenty four,

960
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: and I'd finally had my limit. Anytime that I was

961
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,439
Speaker 2: not at home, whether it was doing things with family, friends,

962
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 2: or traveling for work, he would never stay home. On

963
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 2: that evening last September, he was on his way home

964
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 2: from having beers after work. I told him that I

965
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: was not feeling he was being honest, and his response was,

966
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 2: it's been ten months, just give it up already. I

967
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 2: then made a comment about him being with other women.

968
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: I may have used a few not so nice adjectives,

969
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: and his response beggars can't be choosers. The next day,

970
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: I texted him and asked him to leave. I wasn't home,

971
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: as I knew if I would have been, I would

972
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: never have gone through with it. He texted me and said,

973
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 2: are you sure you want me to leave? I replied Yestember.

974
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,919
Speaker 2: From September to December of this past year, he never apologized,

975
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 2: never took on ability, and always stated that it is

976
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: best to proceed with divorce. We are now divorced as

977
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 2: of Christmas Eve, and he has already moved on. But

978
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 2: I'm having so many issues. Why is he choosing only

979
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: one person to be with? Now? Was I the problem?

980
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 2: I know that it's not true, but it's hard to

981
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 2: not feel that way.

982
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 4: Jana.

983
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 2: I know you've gone through this. You gave your ex

984
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: multiple chances and they don't change. I know that I

985
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: don't want the man he is today, but why can't

986
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 2: I get him off my mind in the fantasy that

987
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 2: he could be the man I want, in need and

988
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: deserve him to be.

989
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: Advice you can give, We will let you take this on.

990
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 4: You guys don't want say anything.

991
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 3: Like you'll give the best advice here.

992
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 2: Well, I really just want to read direct her to

993
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 2: ghastly by my husband because I kept thinking of the

994
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 2: entire time, I'm like, this is crazy. I just wish

995
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 2: we could trust our intuition more as women. I think

996
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 2: we always know when we know, and I hate that,

997
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 2: like your gut always knows, we just know. It's why

998
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 2: God designs us to have this intuition and discernment.

999
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 3: It just sounds like she did know, and she does know,

1000
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 3: and she.

1001
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: I'm so wildly proud of this person for getting her

1002
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 2: foot down and not living the same groundhog's day over

1003
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: and over again, because I remember when I would go

1004
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 2: into essenon meetings and it was for sex addicts. You

1005
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 2: know wives or partners that have been with someone that

1006
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 2: was a sex addict, and I'd hear these stories and

1007
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 2: I mean it was years and years and years. These

1008
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: women are in their fifty sixties, seventies. One woman was

1009
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 2: in her late seventies and she's like, my husband did

1010
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 2: it again. And I'm like I cannot be and oh

1011
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,399
Speaker 2: my god. You know what I mean, Like I don't

1012
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,720
Speaker 2: want to live that cycle for the rest of my life.

1013
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 2: Like this person is not stopping. I have to get out.

1014
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 2: So I mean, props to this listener who got out.

1015
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 2: And I think one of the hardest pieces is that

1016
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 2: either the woman is going to get the changed man.

1017
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: And why didn't the man change for me?

1018
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:26,359
Speaker 4: Was I?

1019
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: And that's I mean I struggled year, like for years

1020
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 2: with that, like why was I not good enough for

1021
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: him to change? Why wasn't I you know, I was

1022
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 2: the mother of his children. Why didn't he change for me?

1023
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 2: But I think speaking, I'm just going to speak about

1024
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 2: your ex husband. If he hasn't taken accountability, he hasn't apologized,

1025
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 2: he's not a changed person.

1026
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 4: No person.

1027
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 2: That has gone through healing and change doesn't come back

1028
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 2: to hold some accountability for their past or to say hey,

1029
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I did this to you and owning up

1030
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 2: to it. A person that doesn't take ownership sweeps things

1031
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 2: underneath the rugs. They're going to continue their actions and

1032
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: they're going to be this fake facade of who they are,

1033
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 2: but that's not actually who they are. So that woman

1034
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: is not whoever he's with or ends up with is

1035
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 2: not actually getting the true person. They're just getting this

1036
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 2: fake persona of who he wants to be, who he

1037
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 2: really really wants to be, but who's actually not. So

1038
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 2: try and rest in the fact if he hasn't taken

1039
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 2: accountability with you, or hasn't you know that to me

1040
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 2: is the first piece of he has not healed or changed,

1041
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 2: so that you don't even have to worry because that

1042
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: woman is not going to get a change man, I

1043
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 2: promise you. And even if he did so, if that

1044
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 2: man does come around and does take healing and accountability,

1045
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 2: you are not the reason. Like he wasn't ready, he

1046
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: wasn't able to in that moment, you know, and you

1047
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 2: get to now be with someone that hasn't hurt you,

1048
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 2: so you can kind of and it wasn't that you

1049
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 2: weren't enough for him to change. I know I wasn't.

1050
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 2: I was plenty enough for Mike. He wasn't. He didn't

1051
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 2: love himself enough to be the best version of himself.

1052
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 2: It wasn't about me. So you have to detach you

1053
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,280
Speaker 2: and him, like you have to detach your own worth

1054
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: to his stuff, because it's not the truth. He was

1055
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 2: not able to be his best self because his worth

1056
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 2: of what he believes you are worthy of a great love,

1057
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 2: and don't put his stuff on you. Twenty nine years

1058
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 2: is a long time.

1059
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1060
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 2: I would also add that if it is a possibility,

1061
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: I think any separation from learning anything new about his

1062
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 2: life is probably needed. I'm twenty nine years. I'm sure

1063
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 2: there's some children involved. Maybe not, But I think when

1064
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 2: you're trying to heal from something and more than the

1065
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: loss of someone that's still alive, when they continue to

1066
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,439
Speaker 2: like when you continue to know information. I remember even

1067
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: people sending things about my ex to me, and I

1068
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 2: just was like, I'm you know, like I'm good. I

1069
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: don't need to know that information. I feel like I'm

1070
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 2: doing my own thing. I've got my own own stuff

1071
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 2: I'm working on or whatever. But to continue to get

1072
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 2: updates is always like a little like that doesn't help

1073
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: the process well.

1074
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: And just to see that he's with one woman now,

1075
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 1: you don't know that, right, You have no idea he's

1076
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: with woman. And I've said that about other relationships in

1077
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: the past, like you have no im I look like

1078
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: they're with one person now.

1079
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he did a good job at twenty nine

1080
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 4: years of looking like he's with you.

1081
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: But I also think sometimes, especially that long, so like

1082
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,879
Speaker 1: if he does become this healed version of himself and he,

1083
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: you know, he changes, I think sometimes if that were

1084
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: to happen in a marriage where that happens so much, like,

1085
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: how would that even really work? Like how do you

1086
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: ever fully trust? You know, like, even if he does

1087
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 1: heal and you're still in your marriage and he's a

1088
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: completely changed man. I know a woman that's been hit

1089
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 1: that many times with that, that's going to be really

1090
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: hard for them to trust. And is he going to

1091
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,479
Speaker 1: be able to be the healed version that he really

1092
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 1: needs to be? Is she going to be the version?

1093
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1094
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: I have a hard time seeing that sometimes, and I

1095
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 1: know it's possible, but I think that that would be

1096
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 1: hard and maybe it does mean that they have to

1097
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 1: be separate too, for him to be able to find

1098
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: that healed version.

1099
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, just like with Mike, he'd always be

1100
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: like there was he realized, He's like at the end,

1101
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 2: like there would have never been any he would have

1102
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 2: never stopped. And he even admitted that He's like, I

1103
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 2: would have never stopped cheating because I was always in

1104
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 2: a hole with you. I was always one down. I

1105
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 2: was always like underground. He's like, I couldn't climb. I

1106
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 2: was so down in the hole. There was no climbing

1107
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 2: out of that hole. So you're just going to keep

1108
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 2: repeating a pattern his are It just obviously obviously kept happening.

1109
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,399
Speaker 2: So with him, it's like he had to we had

1110
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 2: to not be with each other to do our own healing.

1111
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 2: And like, I hope he doesn't cheat on his new girlfriend.

1112
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 3: I hope.

1113
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: And it's not because I'm not good enough that he

1114
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:41,320
Speaker 2: didn't change for me. So we just couldn't change together

1115
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 2: because I changed so much to post him and had

1116
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 2: my own healing that I needed to do years before

1117
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 2: Mike that I never got to do. So like, and

1118
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 2: I'm a way better person now than I ever was

1119
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,760
Speaker 2: with Mike, you know, So he got like, so Alan's

1120
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 2: getting a changed person. Yeah, and like I hope that

1121
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 2: this new girl that he has is getting the change person.

1122
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:00,399
Speaker 4: And too.

1123
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 2: It's better for our kids, better for ourselves, and we

1124
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,839
Speaker 2: want those people. But it doesn't. Don't take it away

1125
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: from your own worth. Yeah, that you weren't worth changing for.

1126
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 2: It's just some guys just can't get out of their

1127
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: own shame to do the right thing each time.

1128
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, ownership not hot. Let her have him.

1129
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: Also, we love you a lot, come hang out with

1130
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 2: so much ladies. See you when I get back from Kentucky. Actually,

1131
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 2: I'll see you on zooms. It's like, wait, we're going

1132
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 2: to be doing zooms.

1133
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 3: Love you, love you see it?

1134
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 4: Hibachi? Yes, can I have a non Sey version?

1135
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 3: Were good?

1136
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, check check out.

1137
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 3: Hello goodbye, Hello bye