WEBVTT - #407 - Michael Ray on What He Would Have Done Differently In Last Marriage + Why They Haven’t Spoken in 3 ½ Years + Having a Number 1 Song While Away in Arizona for Therapy + Getting Diagnosed with Depression

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<v Speaker 1>I can't speak for her, but I think for me

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<v Speaker 1>it was like I wouldn't have been so influenced by

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<v Speaker 1>the fans being involved in it. And to be honest,

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<v Speaker 1>I think I knew in the beginning or around that time,

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<v Speaker 1>that this was something we probably should have slowed down.

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<v Speaker 2>This is episode four hundred and seven with Michael Ray.

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<v Speaker 2>He walked in and he just looked like a wrestler,

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<v Speaker 2>professional wrestler. He did massive and Michael Ray has always

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<v Speaker 2>been a guy in shape. But I think we start

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<v Speaker 2>talking about that immediately. I think people are like, how

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<v Speaker 2>do you start these shows? Like what do you talk about?

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<v Speaker 2>It's the first thing that I think of when I

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<v Speaker 2>see them, and it usually goes from there. And I

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<v Speaker 2>got places that I'll maybe go where I never go though.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the Ray bus thing?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's true.

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<v Speaker 2>We got so on and I was going to ask

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<v Speaker 2>him about standing Ray up at the bus, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think people are going to hear it in this We

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<v Speaker 2>got so onto something that was so opposite that it

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<v Speaker 2>just felt weird to kind of crash that and start

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<v Speaker 2>over there. I feel like you were very strategic in

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<v Speaker 2>this interview. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable because

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't going to go poking after the ex wife

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<v Speaker 2>stuff unless he kind of, you know, stuck his head

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<v Speaker 2>out of the groundhog out of the hole a little

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<v Speaker 2>and be like, hey, I'm willing to talk about it

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit. I never want to push anybody into

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<v Speaker 2>a place where they're not comfortable. And we danced there

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit early in the interview. We got out

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<v Speaker 2>and I said, Okay, he's pretty, he's good, and I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't want him to say anything that he wouldn't I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to say be proud of saying, but anything

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<v Speaker 2>he would regret saying.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was kind of feeling him out there, like

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<v Speaker 2>he's not too emotional about it, he's controlled. And so

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<v Speaker 2>then we go back to it. We go back to

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<v Speaker 2>that well later on. I don't think it's the biggest

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<v Speaker 2>takeaway from this, and maybe the most clicks from this,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think the biggest takeaway is a guy who

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<v Speaker 2>is just trying to be a better person, is trying

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<v Speaker 2>to live healthier, had some crap go down, some people die,

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<v Speaker 2>a divorce, and he was forcibly help told to get

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<v Speaker 2>healthier by himself. I mean, he put himself through it,

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<v Speaker 2>so you know, big growth. I think that's the takeaway

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<v Speaker 2>here is big growth. But Michael Ray I have not

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<v Speaker 2>really spent much time with Mike Corey. We allude to

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<v Speaker 2>it in the beginning here. The last time I saw him,

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<v Speaker 2>we did a couple operate things together. One of them

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<v Speaker 2>was on stage, I remember what he brought up, and

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<v Speaker 2>then one of them was we played the opry at

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<v Speaker 2>the same time and we were just backstage in the

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<v Speaker 2>dressing rooms together. I don't know they even remember that

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<v Speaker 2>one he was talking about. The one on stage. I

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<v Speaker 2>gave him a plaque. I was just part of the

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<v Speaker 2>TV show, and if I'm on camera, I don't even remember.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not even real life. So I had to go

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<v Speaker 2>back and look at see the picture he was talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>But I will say after this, I like the guy.

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<v Speaker 2>He's a really nice guy. I liked the guy, and

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<v Speaker 2>I think early on I would just see all the

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<v Speaker 2>tattoos and I would go, you know, he's sleeved up.

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<v Speaker 2>Probably not a guy that I'd like to hang out with.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like an ultimate fighter, a guy unfair. I think

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<v Speaker 2>I signed some unfair things to him based on that.

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<v Speaker 2>But he's always been super nice and had a great

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<v Speaker 2>time and then he hung out afterward and we just talked.

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<v Speaker 2>Eddie and I were about to work out afterward, me

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<v Speaker 2>and him and Klug and Michael. We had just hung

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<v Speaker 2>out with like twenty minutes. We worked out and just

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<v Speaker 2>you know, talked and I don't know, I liked the guy,

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<v Speaker 2>not that I didn't like him, I just didn't know. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like sleep with one eye open. And then

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<v Speaker 2>he you know, Ditsch Ray that time, which we never

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<v Speaker 2>got to. So Michael Ray here, follow him at Michael

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<v Speaker 2>Ray Music at Michael Ray Official. Can we play a

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<v Speaker 2>couple songs this Yeah, he's got this new song called

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<v Speaker 2>Spirits and Demons with Meghan Patrick, Spirits and Mombing. He

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<v Speaker 2>may at the bottom some songs you may know, think

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<v Speaker 2>a little less at number one from March of twenty seventeen,

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<v Speaker 2>Bundlings sing in twenty nineteen a number one with one

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<v Speaker 2>that Got Away.

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<v Speaker 1>That's all rap, that's okay, She's going to be one

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<v Speaker 1>hell of a one that got Away.

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<v Speaker 2>And then last year, which he talked about here, in

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty two, he had Whiskey and Rain for multip

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<v Speaker 2>multiple weeks. Yeah, come in all right, Michael Ray from

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<v Speaker 2>Eustas Florida, thirty five years old. He was inspired by

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<v Speaker 2>his grandfather, who played music for him, taught him how

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<v Speaker 2>to play guitar, and had him perform at Assistant Living centers.

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<v Speaker 2>It was very close to his grandfather. That's, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>part of the reason he loves the opry so much.

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<v Speaker 2>He's played the opry over seventy times. He assigned to

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<v Speaker 2>Warner Brothers in Nashville. He's currently on tour till the

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<v Speaker 2>end of October, and he has a new EP called

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<v Speaker 2>Dive Bars and Broken Hearts that came out on June

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<v Speaker 2>twenty third. Here is Michael Ray. Good to see you, man,

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<v Speaker 2>you too, Man, I was talking to these guys. I

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<v Speaker 2>guess I haven't seen you since backstage is the opry

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<v Speaker 2>rhyman opry? Maybe pre pandemic?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it was when actually you gave me my first

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<v Speaker 1>platinum plaque that day.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what, Maybe that wasn't I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think it was a regular the opera, the opera. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that was the last time which has been

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<v Speaker 1>a yeah you look jacked, thanks hard? Yeah? Yeah, man,

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<v Speaker 1>you know me and out rabble. I was always like

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<v Speaker 1>trying to be lean and then like I was like, man,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to put some size on, and during the

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<v Speaker 1>end of the pandemic, I was like, screwed. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>got photo shoots or anything going on. So you can

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<v Speaker 1>pack on some weight if you want.

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<v Speaker 2>So.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh now I'm trying to lean back down. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I got but pack on.

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<v Speaker 2>Way that looks fair because you look jacked. There's a

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<v Speaker 2>difference in if I eat a bunch of sugar and

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<v Speaker 2>have a crazy water retention and like, so, what what's

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<v Speaker 2>the routine? What's the beef up routine?

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<v Speaker 1>Man? I've been I started doing this carnivore diet where

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<v Speaker 1>it's pretty much like it's kind of like Keto but

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<v Speaker 1>not as like strip. But it's all meat. Uh, all meat,

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<v Speaker 1>all meat, Like yeah, like I eat a bunch of steak,

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of chicken, bunch of you know, any any any meat, eggs, fruit,

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<v Speaker 1>a bunch of my buddies in the UFC. They they

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<v Speaker 1>got on and they said they started feeling really good.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's so hard me. You know how it is

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<v Speaker 1>on the road to try to eat healthy.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's impossible.

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<v Speaker 1>It's impossible, and so at least then it's like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't eat fast food. I try not to. But

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<v Speaker 1>if I do have to at least there's something there

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<v Speaker 1>I just eat, like the meat.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so hard to not live a regular life but

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<v Speaker 2>have regular habits.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So, and it gets really bad for me when I'm

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<v Speaker 2>traveling a lot, if I'm doing a TV show or touring,

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<v Speaker 2>because if I'm here and I'm working Monday through Friday

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm getting up at this time, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>bed at this time, and I'm working out everything i

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<v Speaker 2>can then do just straight habitual I can commit it's habitual.

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<v Speaker 2>But man, you start staying up late or not knowing

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<v Speaker 2>where food or not having access to and you're hungry. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're like, it's just gonna be the bag of

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<v Speaker 2>free does it's it?

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<v Speaker 1>But you just got you got to go down and

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<v Speaker 1>grocery shop at the little convenient part of the hotel.

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<v Speaker 1>We were just in a place some similar thing. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it was this tiny town and I've been shooting a

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<v Speaker 1>TV a second season for Inside the Base on the

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<v Speaker 1>Circle Network, and so we're in this little town shooting

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<v Speaker 1>stuff with the Coastguard and like there is no uber,

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<v Speaker 1>there is no food around there. It's like mom and

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<v Speaker 1>pop and it shuts down at seven. It's just a wholesome,

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<v Speaker 1>all American little town, you know. So you get there,

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<v Speaker 1>you're like, well, I guess it's the chips that we're

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<v Speaker 1>doing tonight, you know, So it's all there can Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's it.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's also like, you know, growing up how I

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<v Speaker 2>grew up, you know, and most people where I come

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<v Speaker 2>from are obese or just not healthy because we didn't

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<v Speaker 2>have the education of what good food was and everybody

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<v Speaker 2>was poor. So to get to eat clan healthy is

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<v Speaker 2>kind of a rich person thing, Dude.

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<v Speaker 1>I just said this the other day. My friends of

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<v Speaker 1>mine down home, man that that work, you know, bust

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<v Speaker 1>their butt, man, and they're the souls provider because the

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<v Speaker 1>mom stays at home because it's cheaper for them to

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<v Speaker 1>stay at home than it is for them to have daycare. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>And man, I got to think about this, I go,

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<v Speaker 1>the reason why we have I think some of the

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<v Speaker 1>weight issues we have is because you know, I come

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<v Speaker 1>from a small town of Florida. It's the same thing, man,

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<v Speaker 1>you feed the kid. The kids got to eat, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>so feed ten piece a Kentucky fried chicken and so

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<v Speaker 1>instead and now it's fourteen dollars for three pieces of chicken. Breasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's ten dollars for ten pizzas, well, what are

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<v Speaker 1>you going to do if you're on? You know, you

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<v Speaker 1>got no choice? And uh, and I've told him, I go,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how people do it. Man, Just for me,

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<v Speaker 1>it's two hundred dollars to fifty three hundred dollars just

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<v Speaker 1>for me if I'm home for a week.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you go gro This is funny because listen, except

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<v Speaker 2>for stopping at a gas station to buy groceries, I

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<v Speaker 2>went from being having absolutely no money to having a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of money in a relatively quick span where I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't have the education to learn about money. So I

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<v Speaker 2>went from not knowing about money at all because it's

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<v Speaker 2>never around it too, then not knowing at all because

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<v Speaker 2>I had to have people helped me with it because

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<v Speaker 2>I did have I'm having to pay percentages of people,

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<v Speaker 2>and I got agents and managers and I got and

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<v Speaker 2>so I was like, oh my god, I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to do it wrong, so please, so I have to.

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<v Speaker 2>So my money education kind of came and went quickly.

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<v Speaker 2>With that being said, I would like go grocer shopping

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<v Speaker 2>at the gas station when I was had no money,

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<v Speaker 2>and then when I had all the money. Until recently

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<v Speaker 2>my wife has said, Okay, we're going to the grocery store,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I go to the grocery store. I'm it's

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<v Speaker 2>weird how much groceries cost. And that's a weird thing

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<v Speaker 2>to say because I'm so disconnected in that way. And

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<v Speaker 2>I was single until I was thirty seven years old.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, yeah, so you're just eating whatever you want, whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I want, grab go to the I would just literally

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<v Speaker 2>any milk, go to the gas station. I get one

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<v Speaker 2>thing at a time. That's how it exactly what we do.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was gone so much or I would uber

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<v Speaker 2>eats it. So until I've only had to start learning

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<v Speaker 2>like the real life, like normal human connection. Grocery store stuff. Dude,

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<v Speaker 2>it's crazy. After you have a grocery store's stupid.

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<v Speaker 1>It's insane. Bro it just you go to now and.

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<v Speaker 2>To go to Whole Foods.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, Whole Foods. That's a big flex. Yeah, Whole

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<v Speaker 1>Foods is you're you're spending two hundred dollars, you walk

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<v Speaker 1>out with nothing's more depressing than you spend the two

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<v Speaker 1>hundred dollars and you walk out with like.

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<v Speaker 2>Two bags And I'm not here thing I can't affore.

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<v Speaker 2>I want people to be like, oh, listen to Bobby

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<v Speaker 2>Waring with no, no, no, I just had no idea. Yeah, dude,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm with you, man, I would suck at prices right

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<v Speaker 2>right about those games like how much? How much is it?

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<v Speaker 1>Come all down?

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<v Speaker 2>Pine sol and a box is a Hamburger? But about

0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:47.959
<v Speaker 2>seventy three dollars?

0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:48.160
<v Speaker 1>Bot?

0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, two dollars one hundred and fifty.

0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:50.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it is.

0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:52.920
<v Speaker 2>So do you do your own grocery shopping?

0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:56.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, whenever I'm home, because I'm only home for a

0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.720
<v Speaker 1>few days, and so I got a trigger out there

0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:00.679
<v Speaker 1>and that's been like something that's really like broad. I

0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.640
<v Speaker 1>just love it. Man. I've cooked some stuff and like

0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.839
<v Speaker 1>give it to neighbors and stuff. So it's kind of

0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:07.800
<v Speaker 1>like a I don't know, kind of get away, you know.

0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.160
<v Speaker 1>I go pick up the meat and stuff and I

0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:12.120
<v Speaker 1>just grill out at the house for a few days.

0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:13.679
<v Speaker 1>So so, like I said, many we're always on the road.

0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:16.600
<v Speaker 1>We travel with the grill and stuff, and I try

0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:18.360
<v Speaker 1>to grill out there and eat as healthy as a camp.

0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.240
<v Speaker 1>Like we said, it's tough. So when I'm home, I'm

0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.400
<v Speaker 1>tried it. It's like a it's like a spa retreat.

0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:24.280
<v Speaker 1>When I am home, it's like getting the sauna, split

0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:25.040
<v Speaker 1>everything out, and.

0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.360
<v Speaker 2>Do you cook you like a sauna?

0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, I got an infrared at the house. You know.

0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.920
<v Speaker 2>We were just talking about having one of those. My

0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.360
<v Speaker 2>wife was like, she she will go somewhere with those,

0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.960
<v Speaker 2>an infrared sauna, and she believes in it. And I

0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:41.440
<v Speaker 2>guess I just don't. I guess I haven't spent the

0:10:41.480 --> 0:10:44.840
<v Speaker 2>time educating myself on the difference of what an infrared

0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.480
<v Speaker 2>versus just a hot sauna is. Why do you do it?

0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.520
<v Speaker 1>For me? What I found well, so it's it he's

0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.760
<v Speaker 1>from like the inside, you know, and so there's a

0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.720
<v Speaker 1>bunch of like of your body or that machine of

0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.160
<v Speaker 1>the machine. So it's like it's not like a steamer,

0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.560
<v Speaker 1>you know. And so it's like you're sitting there and

0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:01.920
<v Speaker 1>it's slowly you start feeling get hot. And man, dude,

0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.080
<v Speaker 1>mine's like half the size of the couch that Mike's

0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.240
<v Speaker 1>sitting on. It's in my garage and you just plug

0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:07.920
<v Speaker 1>it in. Man. And what I what I have found

0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:10.240
<v Speaker 1>out though, is if you do it consistently for a

0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:14.240
<v Speaker 1>few days, you start feeling I start feeling just less

0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.959
<v Speaker 1>kind of anxious, you know. And I do the cold, cold,

0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.040
<v Speaker 1>bad thing, and I take cold showers.

0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:20.880
<v Speaker 2>Cold plunch in the morning or just at any time

0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 2>in the morning. So the one thing that I've been

0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.520
<v Speaker 2>doing a little bit is my friend and he's also

0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.400
<v Speaker 2>if I get sick, I call outam.

0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:29.920
<v Speaker 1>Bobo, Oh yeah, bobo yeah.

0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.640
<v Speaker 2>So he has irrita. And I've been learning a bit

0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:36.560
<v Speaker 2>about inflammation within the body, inside the body, especially with

0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.000
<v Speaker 2>injuries and walk come to a hell of Well podcast

0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:42.439
<v Speaker 2>with Bobby and Michael by the way, but he has

0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:43.079
<v Speaker 2>a cryo.

0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh man, those are awesome.

0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:48.120
<v Speaker 2>And I swear to god, I do it for a

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:49.679
<v Speaker 2>couple of days in a row, and I just feel

0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:52.240
<v Speaker 2>better in my joints, even if it's a placebo.

0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I wonder how much some stuff of that is. Probably some, I.

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Mean really probably some. But I tell you, after a

0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.719
<v Speaker 2>couple of days, I really do feel better in my

0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:02.199
<v Speaker 2>because of And you get in and it's three and

0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.400
<v Speaker 2>a half minutes, and you know, you turn on any

0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.600
<v Speaker 2>song you want, but I actually turn on Bullson Parade.

0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.000
<v Speaker 2>I do that to get a machine because it's so

0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.160
<v Speaker 2>freaking cold it is, so I'm just in my underwear

0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:13.800
<v Speaker 2>it's like ice blowing on you. That song exactly three

0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 2>minutes and bull and you know I'm in. I'm focused.

0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.360
<v Speaker 2>I finish your cold. Your nipples about to break off.

0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:20.439
<v Speaker 1>That's what I was about to say. I feel like

0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:22.680
<v Speaker 1>they're like icicles about to just fall off your chest.

0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:26.000
<v Speaker 2>Now that the cryo I get and I love the

0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:27.280
<v Speaker 2>infra red, I guess I just haven't.

0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:29.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think try it. Man tried it a few

0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:31.800
<v Speaker 1>days in a row. What I feel the most out

0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:35.120
<v Speaker 1>of it is mentally, like I feel more clarity. Yeah,

0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 1>when I do it in a so I'll wake up

0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:41.000
<v Speaker 1>do like fastic cardio all got bow flex bike is

0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.000
<v Speaker 1>like a peloton that they have. So I do that

0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.559
<v Speaker 1>and then hop in the sauna for thirty minutes and

0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 1>then go take a cold shower.

0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 2>Did you find yourself like you needed to get on

0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:54.600
<v Speaker 2>some sort of mental health physical wellness journey after all

0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:57.160
<v Speaker 2>the crap that you've kind of been a part of

0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 2>the last couple of years, or is this is general

0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:00.840
<v Speaker 2>something you've been in for the last six seven years.

0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.600
<v Speaker 1>No, it was definitely after that time. After all that

0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 1>during too, you know, I think I just really leaned

0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>on a lot of people that were, you know, trying

0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:12.880
<v Speaker 1>to make healthier choices and healthier habits out of that situation,

0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.959
<v Speaker 1>and I just really started feeling my man, I feel

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:19.320
<v Speaker 1>when I did those consistently, I felt more clear, I

0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.000
<v Speaker 1>felt more less anxious. I felt like I could was

0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:26.120
<v Speaker 1>making right decisions and navigating, you know, especially that time,

0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 1>navigating that as well as I could.

0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 2>A close friend of mine has gone through public, very public,

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 2>something very similar, and listen, I've been through similar. It's

0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:41.199
<v Speaker 2>very hard to be a public person going through something private,

0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 2>and everybody feels like they any way more than they

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.480
<v Speaker 2>actually know, and they really don't, but they know more

0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.200
<v Speaker 2>than they would if you were someone had no notoriety

0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.559
<v Speaker 2>at all. Yeah and so, and it's also a weird

0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.880
<v Speaker 2>thing too, because if you volunteer to give people information,

0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:55.679
<v Speaker 2>people then expect they can have all the information on

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:56.560
<v Speaker 2>the whole world about you.

0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:57.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's like, well, you you told us this, so

0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.880
<v Speaker 2>now we deserve to know more and more and more,

0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:03.679
<v Speaker 2>And they get mad and then they insert their on

0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.600
<v Speaker 2>story if they don't get exactly what they want exactly.

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah and and and it's all you know, we're all

0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.360
<v Speaker 1>showing everything we can on social media, so like you said,

0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:13.160
<v Speaker 1>they feel like they're well, I want to know more

0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:16.079
<v Speaker 1>and wanted more about this, and you know, people make

0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:19.320
<v Speaker 1>decisions off of headlines that you know aren't true, or

0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 1>things that are that are twisted or you know, and

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.720
<v Speaker 1>I understand, man, like you know, we signed up for

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 1>the public side of stuff. But it is tough, man,

0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:28.120
<v Speaker 1>It's tough when you're going through something private. People forget

0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.120
<v Speaker 1>that you're you're human. You know, you're a human being,

0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.520
<v Speaker 1>you're somebody's son, you're you know. It's it's it's bigger

0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.800
<v Speaker 1>than you know. It's it's different than than than just music.

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:37.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, there's more to.

0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:39.480
<v Speaker 2>It, and we'll get back to that later on. I

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 2>was just thinking about the health and wellness stuff. Let's

0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 2>talk about music then we bring that up. Megan Patrick.

0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:46.600
<v Speaker 2>I love Mega Patrick.

0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:48.960
<v Speaker 1>She's the best man. She's awes didn't.

0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:54.360
<v Speaker 2>Didn't know her, like like if sitting here, I just had.

0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.840
<v Speaker 2>I had seen her a couple of times. I knew

0:14:56.880 --> 0:15:00.320
<v Speaker 2>her from Mitchell a little bit of Mitchell's wife. And

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.520
<v Speaker 2>I box at rumble here in town a little bit

0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:05.520
<v Speaker 2>and I don't have my glass and I can't see anything.

0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.520
<v Speaker 2>And I was about to go in and some blonde

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:15.400
<v Speaker 2>girl woman lady can't really tell. It's like, hey, I'm like, hey,

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:18.360
<v Speaker 2>I can't see any it wouldn't matter who it was. Hey,

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, what's up because I don't know who is

0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:27.640
<v Speaker 2>it's a listener and I'm like what up? And she's like,

0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm coming over to your house. And I'm like, oh God,

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what you like.

0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:34.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't even drink.

0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 2>I don't So she was like Megan Patrick and so

0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.360
<v Speaker 2>she had a makeup on. She was just a sweats

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 2>and megans an athlete too. And I'm like, oh what,

0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm Megan and so she we we said hello, there,

0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.520
<v Speaker 2>she comes over. We do this. It's awesome. And then

0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 2>we go and we play golf together in Austin. She

0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:53.480
<v Speaker 2>she told me that y'all y'all played.

0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and we played.

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.240
<v Speaker 2>We hung out for a whole day. So we had

0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:59.120
<v Speaker 2>we had had like two and a half days together,

0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:04.200
<v Speaker 2>not consecutively, but I just left left those couple of

0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:07.360
<v Speaker 2>days going Dan. Megan Patrick's like down, like, oh she's awesome, dude,

0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.040
<v Speaker 2>just like you want to hang out with her. You

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:10.600
<v Speaker 2>want to be your friend. You want if you're going

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:12.280
<v Speaker 2>to get into a fight, that's what you.

0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 1>Want to do. I always jugs to the other day,

0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:15.760
<v Speaker 1>I go, I go. If there was like a section

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 1>like in the Yearbook where it was like which couple's

0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna probably end up kicking a bunch of people's butt

0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:22.160
<v Speaker 1>in a bar fight, and go, Meghan and Timpenny would

0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:23.560
<v Speaker 1>be the couple. I put my money off. Now I

0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.480
<v Speaker 1>think Megan Mitchell and Megan Megan with out a beat

0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:28.000
<v Speaker 1>goes It's happened a couple of times.

0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how do you Megan know each other? How did

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:31.320
<v Speaker 2>you get together? In the song?

0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:33.480
<v Speaker 1>You know, we knew each other just from kind of

0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.400
<v Speaker 1>seeing you know, we running the same circle and knew

0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:37.240
<v Speaker 1>each other for for a while and kind of see

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.120
<v Speaker 1>each other like dog House a little you'll get together

0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.560
<v Speaker 1>as a songwriter events or whatever's what's dog Else. It's

0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 1>a place on de Mumbrey and by tin Roof, like

0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 1>they have a bunch of like songwriters rounds and stuff

0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.400
<v Speaker 1>like that. So just kind of like you I'd see

0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 1>her and Mitchell out. They had come out on the

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, everybody gets home on Sunday, so kind of

0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.840
<v Speaker 1>go out and see everybody. And and I always been

0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:55.600
<v Speaker 1>a fan of her stuff. And here in the last

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.960
<v Speaker 1>few years. You know, she's from Canada and crushing it

0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 1>up there. And I started hearing some stuff and and uh,

0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>and I was just saying, like I got the same thing.

0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:05.240
<v Speaker 1>When we first hung out with I was like, man,

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.560
<v Speaker 1>she's a badass dude like this girls like she's a

0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.199
<v Speaker 1>she's a real deal and like not afraid to go

0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:11.919
<v Speaker 1>up to somebody and go, hey, I'm Megan. You know

0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:16.520
<v Speaker 1>what's up? And so we were we would recorded Spirits

0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.920
<v Speaker 1>and Demons first, and we just used Alison Velt, who's

0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.560
<v Speaker 1>one of the co writers on it, for the female part.

0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.080
<v Speaker 2>So Alison saying in the place that Megan.

0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:26.520
<v Speaker 1>In the place of Megan did yeah, until we found

0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:28.600
<v Speaker 1>somebody and so we you know, bounced around and it's always

0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 1>like do you go outside of the genre, do you

0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:33.240
<v Speaker 1>stay in the genre? Who's at the label? I'm signed

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:34.720
<v Speaker 1>to Warner, you know, so who's there that maybe we

0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.399
<v Speaker 1>could work something with? And started bouncing around and then

0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:39.760
<v Speaker 1>her name popped up and I was like, man, yeah,

0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I love her voice. Man, Like, she's got this strong

0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.919
<v Speaker 1>you know, she's just it's there. She's powerful, has some

0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.520
<v Speaker 1>soul and some grit to it. And we sent it

0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:49.960
<v Speaker 1>to her and they had just released her EP like

0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.920
<v Speaker 1>a month Greatest Show, Greatest Show on Dirt. I believe

0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:55.160
<v Speaker 1>it was called which is great EP that I love

0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.800
<v Speaker 1>that song, Greatest Show on Dirt. She agreed to do it,

0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:01.359
<v Speaker 1>and dude, she comes in the studio.

0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh you did it with her?

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.240
<v Speaker 1>Like she did her part. I was there, me and

0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 1>Michael Knox, who's my producer who produced all Jason Auden stuff.

0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:13.600
<v Speaker 1>Megan goes in there and like first take, and I'm like,

0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:15.840
<v Speaker 1>look at Knox. I'm like, I don't know. I mean,

0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:17.480
<v Speaker 1>I guess if she wants to re sing it, you know,

0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:19.159
<v Speaker 1>like let her do it. So she did it a

0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.000
<v Speaker 1>few times just to have you know, But dude, she

0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:25.280
<v Speaker 1>showed up, and she showed up every time and just nails.

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 1>We've been able to sing it a couple of times

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:28.480
<v Speaker 1>live and she just crushed it. And it was like

0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 1>soon as we as soon as we got in the

0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.480
<v Speaker 1>studio and we heard our voices together, even without any

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.560
<v Speaker 1>polish or anything on it. Man, it just fit and

0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:39.960
<v Speaker 1>our voices fit real well together. And I'm excited for her, man,

0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 1>and excited for her that she's a part of it.

0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:43.080
<v Speaker 1>I think that it was made.

0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:44.600
<v Speaker 2>For and that's a single, right, we played it before

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:45.679
<v Speaker 2>you got here. That's a single.

0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:49.800
<v Speaker 1>It's just now what we released the day of the EP,

0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:52.440
<v Speaker 1>so we haven't picked a true single yet. I think

0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:54.600
<v Speaker 1>that's it. I think, so I'm shoot, that's what That's

0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:55.000
<v Speaker 1>what I want.

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:55.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think it's really good.

0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:56.520
<v Speaker 1>Thank you man.

0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 2>I was going through the EP and just looking at

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:01.440
<v Speaker 2>some of I'd heard all the songs that I was

0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:02.880
<v Speaker 2>going through again just see who had written a bunch

0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:07.159
<v Speaker 2>of these songs. The last track Wallen and Hardy and

0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:09.600
<v Speaker 2>Josh I was born Jesse Frasier, which is pretty cool.

0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:13.399
<v Speaker 2>My favorite part of it though, is the song hate

0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 2>this Town. So there's a place down here with my

0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:21.120
<v Speaker 2>wife and I would go eat all the time. And

0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:25.680
<v Speaker 2>this guy it was mask time too, so he just

0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:27.919
<v Speaker 2>didn't know what anybody looked like. You know. There were

0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:29.920
<v Speaker 2>times after COVID where people I had known for like

0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:34.480
<v Speaker 2>a year, I was like, that's your mouth, bro, Like

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:37.280
<v Speaker 2>one way, the other was like that you have a goatee.

0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:39.680
<v Speaker 2>Like there are all these things that were discovered, and

0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.679
<v Speaker 2>that was one of them. I think. So we go

0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:46.879
<v Speaker 2>to this and and our waiter, we didn't really know

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.400
<v Speaker 2>what his face looked like but every week we would

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.120
<v Speaker 2>go and here we'd see him and he's just awesome.

0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:53.200
<v Speaker 2>And we knew his name, I knew where he lived,

0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and like, one of the last times we were there,

0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I was like, hey, so what's the deal. He says,

0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:00.080
<v Speaker 2>it's his last week working there. I said, well, like,

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:01.679
<v Speaker 2>what are you going to do? And he said, man,

0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:04.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm about to sign a publishing deal? And I was like,

0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:06.360
<v Speaker 2>you're a writer. He'sai, yeah, I'm a writer, I'm an artist.

0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I said, we've been coming in here for twelve thirteen months.

0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:12.280
<v Speaker 2>You never once mentioned that. And I said, first of all,

0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.000
<v Speaker 2>in a way, that's awesome, cause everywhere, not everywhere, but

0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:17.879
<v Speaker 2>a lot of places I go, people will find a

0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:19.639
<v Speaker 2>way to either bring it up or bring bring it

0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 2>to me. Not once did this guy do that. And

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:26.360
<v Speaker 2>I said, well, are you any good? And he was like,

0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:31.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean I'm trying to be and so yeah, he

0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:33.800
<v Speaker 2>showed me his face. Honestly, I was like, can I

0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:35.280
<v Speaker 2>see we haven't in your face yet. We've been with

0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:37.400
<v Speaker 2>us forever. He takes his mask off and I was like, dang,

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.160
<v Speaker 2>you're actually pretty good looking. And so I was doing

0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:42.480
<v Speaker 2>some stand up here at a theater in town, and

0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.280
<v Speaker 2>I said, hey, you're you've been awesome forever. Once you

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.320
<v Speaker 2>come to this show, you and your friend could come

0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:49.959
<v Speaker 2>sit of the show. And he's like, oh cool. So

0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:51.679
<v Speaker 2>he comes to the show. Well, what he doesn't know

0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:53.480
<v Speaker 2>is I've got this thing planned and I say, hey,

0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:56.160
<v Speaker 2>will this Our waiter has been here for a while.

0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.200
<v Speaker 2>He has no idea he's going to get invited up here.

0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:02.160
<v Speaker 2>So his name is john the Clawson and he wrote

0:21:02.240 --> 0:21:05.240
<v Speaker 2>hate this Town yep, yep, and so and I didn't

0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:07.000
<v Speaker 2>put any of it together until I was looking back

0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:07.960
<v Speaker 2>through your EP again.

0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.600
<v Speaker 1>That's wild, dude, What a what a full circle moment.

0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:14.119
<v Speaker 2>And he came up and he killed. He did not

0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 2>know he was going to perform. He didn't even have

0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:18.560
<v Speaker 2>his guitar. We had Eddie's guitar. He came up and

0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 2>he crushed. But so Johnny Clawson who was that guy?

0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Wrote it with Kaylin Roberson and John Wood. But that

0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:29.320
<v Speaker 2>song specifically hate this Town? How did it get to you?

0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:31.920
<v Speaker 1>You know? I love writing songs, and I write a lot,

0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:34.840
<v Speaker 1>but I also lean on the songwriting community, you know,

0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:37.560
<v Speaker 1>and all my heroes cut outside songs, and especially now

0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:39.440
<v Speaker 1>more than ever, I feel it's important for us to

0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:41.320
<v Speaker 1>lean into that community, you know, with just the way

0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:44.480
<v Speaker 1>that music is being bought. You know, there's the revenue

0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:46.639
<v Speaker 1>for songwriters isn't what it was when people were buying

0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:50.440
<v Speaker 1>tangible albums anymore. And and we're torn so much. Man.

0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:52.560
<v Speaker 1>I just I sometimes I just feel like it's best

0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:54.479
<v Speaker 1>I just hit my songwriter buddies and go, hey, man,

0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:57.040
<v Speaker 1>here's what we're looking for. If you're writing today and

0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.000
<v Speaker 1>you've you know, got anything in this vein, He's kind

0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:03.120
<v Speaker 1>of what we need. Knox actually got this song sent

0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:06.760
<v Speaker 1>to him and he put it in our drop box

0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:08.719
<v Speaker 1>and I heard it, and I grew up in Florida, man,

0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:11.840
<v Speaker 1>where it was southern rock and and you know, I

0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 1>grew up on a lot of traditional country and and

0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.919
<v Speaker 1>so it had some of that pieces to it, you know,

0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 1>and it just I love the I felt like i'd

0:22:19.720 --> 0:22:21.960
<v Speaker 1>gone I'd gone through that, you know a little bit.

0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.280
<v Speaker 1>And I think everybody's gone through that when especially in

0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:27.199
<v Speaker 1>a small town where you something has happened, and you

0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 1>know a lot of times that's a breakup or something

0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:30.639
<v Speaker 1>where you never thought that this town would be a

0:22:30.640 --> 0:22:32.159
<v Speaker 1>place you wanted to get out of or needed a

0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:34.800
<v Speaker 1>break from for a little bit. Uh. And you always

0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:36.199
<v Speaker 1>a place that you loved and you went to, but

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 1>now there's so many memories too, There's so much going

0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:40.840
<v Speaker 1>on that you just need a break from it. I

0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:42.520
<v Speaker 1>just felt like we'd all been there and it's a

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:43.880
<v Speaker 1>it's been a fun one to play. Man.

0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:54.600
<v Speaker 3>Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor. Wow,

0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:57.399
<v Speaker 3>and we're back on the Bobby Cast.

0:22:57.720 --> 0:22:59.360
<v Speaker 2>You feel like you've aged a lot in the past

0:22:59.400 --> 0:22:59.879
<v Speaker 2>five years.

0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>Do you feel like you have a lot of advice

0:23:02.600 --> 0:23:04.240
<v Speaker 2>now that you wouldn't have been able to give that

0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:04.960
<v Speaker 2>now you can give.

0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:06.959
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I feel like a grandpa.

0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 2>There was a time to in my career. Yeah, where

0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:12.280
<v Speaker 2>I went. I've been through some real crap now and

0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:13.600
<v Speaker 2>for the first time I have somebody said, hey, can

0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:14.400
<v Speaker 2>you help me Mandy's advice?

0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:17.400
<v Speaker 1>I'd be like, yep, I sure can and have Yeah, yep, absolutely, man.

0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:20.960
<v Speaker 2>And it takes challenge, It takes going through challenges to

0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:25.080
<v Speaker 2>actually be understand why you're grateful for stuff too. Absolutely,

0:23:25.119 --> 0:23:26.160
<v Speaker 2>it gives you a new perspective.

0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, man. And and you just have no other choice.

0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:31.360
<v Speaker 1>It's like you get everybody's life's going to have ups

0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:34.800
<v Speaker 1>and downs. But I believe, especially now man, that no

0:23:34.840 --> 0:23:36.640
<v Speaker 1>matter if it's the up or the down, it's all

0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:38.600
<v Speaker 1>part of the purpose to get you where you're going

0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:40.280
<v Speaker 1>to be, you know, and who you're supposed to be.

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes having that wake up or having that jerk,

0:23:44.600 --> 0:23:47.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, just oh my god, life altering something happening

0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:51.199
<v Speaker 1>is what makes a lot of people reassess everything, you know,

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:52.440
<v Speaker 1>and then you're in that fork in the road where

0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:54.000
<v Speaker 1>you go, Okay, well do I go this way? Do

0:23:54.080 --> 0:23:55.720
<v Speaker 1>I go this way? And either you know, and now

0:23:55.760 --> 0:23:57.320
<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden you got a clear mind because

0:23:57.359 --> 0:23:59.520
<v Speaker 1>you went through all this. And the Rocky movies are

0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:02.680
<v Speaker 1>my favorite ever, and so I always tell people on

0:24:02.720 --> 0:24:04.960
<v Speaker 1>my dude at the end, it was like Adrian, we

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:06.719
<v Speaker 1>he's all beat up, you know, but he did it.

0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:09.200
<v Speaker 1>You know, he's a champion. It's like going through those

0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:11.680
<v Speaker 1>things I used to always, you know, my one of

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:14.320
<v Speaker 1>my biggest problems was showing vulnerability. You know, I grew

0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:17.000
<v Speaker 1>up in a divorced home, a lot of fighting, you know,

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:19.119
<v Speaker 1>a lot of verbal abuse, a lot of you know,

0:24:19.200 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 1>I was always in different places all the time, and

0:24:21.840 --> 0:24:26.400
<v Speaker 1>and so I never wanted people to see that side

0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:31.160
<v Speaker 1>I never wanted people think the bad of yeah. Yeah,

0:24:31.400 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 1>and so I always wanted I just never showed vulnerability.

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:35.600
<v Speaker 1>Always try to keep that wall up, you know, And

0:24:35.760 --> 0:24:38.399
<v Speaker 1>it's exhausting. It's what I found out through the year.

0:24:40.200 --> 0:24:42.480
<v Speaker 1>So my parents got divorced when I was eight, and

0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:45.560
<v Speaker 1>then do you remember them together a little bit? I

0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:49.080
<v Speaker 1>remember one Christmas and it was a Christmas where we

0:24:49.080 --> 0:24:51.800
<v Speaker 1>grew up in this double white trailer on ten Acres

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 1>and my family donated. My family started the first fire station.

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:55.760
<v Speaker 2>In your town.

0:24:55.760 --> 0:24:58.000
<v Speaker 1>In that town, yeah, uh, in that area, is it,

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.880
<v Speaker 1>like what Eustace? Yeah, And so my grandfather, my grandmother

0:25:01.920 --> 0:25:03.760
<v Speaker 1>started that and that was at the front end of

0:25:03.280 --> 0:25:06.320
<v Speaker 1>our acreage, and everybody kind of lived all our family

0:25:06.440 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 1>lived pastors apart, you know. And so I remember one Christmas.

0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't other than that, very little, very little memories.

0:25:15.000 --> 0:25:16.560
<v Speaker 1>And it's weird how me and my little sister talks

0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:18.800
<v Speaker 1>about it. It's weird how you block out a lot

0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.119
<v Speaker 1>of things, you know. And when you look back at

0:25:21.119 --> 0:25:23.280
<v Speaker 1>my childhood, I'm like, man, there's some I don't There's

0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:25.200
<v Speaker 1>like years I'm like, where did what do we do?

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Like it's just like kind of gone, did.

0:25:27.640 --> 0:25:29.840
<v Speaker 2>Your my parents had divorced on five or six, and

0:25:29.880 --> 0:25:34.000
<v Speaker 2>I can remember barely them before my biological dad left,

0:25:34.680 --> 0:25:38.040
<v Speaker 2>just barely, right, and so I do have like this shred.

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:41.320
<v Speaker 2>But then my biological dad was never around. I never

0:25:41.359 --> 0:25:43.800
<v Speaker 2>saw him ag until I was almost thirty six, thirty

0:25:43.800 --> 0:25:47.960
<v Speaker 2>seven years old. Did your mom and dad are they

0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:48.840
<v Speaker 2>still alive? Yeah?

0:25:48.840 --> 0:25:49.159
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

0:25:49.480 --> 0:25:53.119
<v Speaker 2>And did they remain in the same town. Did you

0:25:53.119 --> 0:25:54.320
<v Speaker 2>have a relationship with both of them? Did you go

0:25:54.359 --> 0:25:54.919
<v Speaker 2>back and forth?

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:58.479
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, I did, and they they you know, my

0:25:58.560 --> 0:26:01.399
<v Speaker 1>mom was from you to there. She's from Tallahassee. But

0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:03.240
<v Speaker 1>when Ustic's high school moved down there when she was

0:26:03.280 --> 0:26:05.359
<v Speaker 1>grown up, and she grew up in a real tough

0:26:05.560 --> 0:26:10.160
<v Speaker 1>environment to you know, abused and divorced home and kind

0:26:10.160 --> 0:26:12.560
<v Speaker 1>of split and so luckily, I mean that the one

0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 1>thing they did do right is they kept me and

0:26:14.320 --> 0:26:17.040
<v Speaker 1>my sister together. You know, even though I live with

0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:19.000
<v Speaker 1>my dad and my sister lived with my mom. Our

0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:20.960
<v Speaker 1>weekends were at the same time, you know, unless I

0:26:21.000 --> 0:26:22.639
<v Speaker 1>was playing music with my grandpa or whatever, then I

0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:25.560
<v Speaker 1>was out with him. But yeah, and that what what

0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:28.359
<v Speaker 1>was tough though, And it was tough bro until not

0:26:28.480 --> 0:26:30.600
<v Speaker 1>that long ago. Was my mom and my dad.

0:26:31.080 --> 0:26:32.680
<v Speaker 2>Their relationship was so tumultuous.

0:26:33.000 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah. I mean we to a point where

0:26:35.480 --> 0:26:38.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, man, listen, I can't put somebody over

0:26:38.280 --> 0:26:40.120
<v Speaker 1>here and somebody. You know, I didn't ask for any

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:42.080
<v Speaker 1>of this, you know, I was we were I was eight,

0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:44.800
<v Speaker 1>my sister was six. Like, we didn't ask for any

0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:47.400
<v Speaker 1>of this, you know, like both of y'all remarried and separated.

0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:49.960
<v Speaker 1>You know. Let's you know, also, I need you to

0:26:50.000 --> 0:26:52.000
<v Speaker 1>look at it as I know you got some personal

0:26:52.200 --> 0:26:54.840
<v Speaker 1>stuff there. But that's my dad and that's my mom.

0:26:55.119 --> 0:26:57.160
<v Speaker 1>So I you know, imagine.

0:26:56.760 --> 0:27:00.159
<v Speaker 2>You have these conversations with them. That's a that's a

0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:01.720
<v Speaker 2>tough conversation to be the kid and the adult.

0:27:01.800 --> 0:27:03.960
<v Speaker 1>It's tough, man, It's tough, and it's and it's a

0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:06.360
<v Speaker 1>weird thing too. Is. I feel like in life there

0:27:06.400 --> 0:27:08.359
<v Speaker 1>is that switch where it starts we all of a sudden,

0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:10.520
<v Speaker 1>your parents are like my mom is you know, call

0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:12.840
<v Speaker 1>me and my sister and my dad's calling us for advice.

0:27:12.880 --> 0:27:14.600
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, when did this happen? You know what

0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:16.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean? Like when did we become the I'm like, Dad,

0:27:16.560 --> 0:27:17.040
<v Speaker 1>what are you doing?

0:27:17.040 --> 0:27:17.159
<v Speaker 2>Bro?

0:27:17.200 --> 0:27:18.720
<v Speaker 1>You can't do you know you can't do that, or Mom,

0:27:18.760 --> 0:27:21.359
<v Speaker 1>don't you know? And uh, it is, it's it's weird, man.

0:27:21.400 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 1>But I wasn't confident in doing that until I went

0:27:24.640 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 1>to I did my first ever. I never really done

0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:30.720
<v Speaker 1>therapy before. And uh, there's a group of guys and

0:27:30.760 --> 0:27:33.280
<v Speaker 1>a guy named Al here in Nashville that has helped

0:27:33.280 --> 0:27:35.840
<v Speaker 1>a lot of artists out and him and a guy

0:27:35.920 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 1>named Miles.

0:27:36.400 --> 0:27:39.280
<v Speaker 2>And so I've been on site, so that's okay, yeah.

0:27:40.520 --> 0:27:42.080
<v Speaker 1>No, but I went to a place in Arizona that's

0:27:42.080 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, and so it was dude, I won't mention

0:27:45.760 --> 0:27:48.280
<v Speaker 1>because we obviously got to keep things of private in

0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:51.720
<v Speaker 1>those things. But I go to Arizona, right, This is

0:27:51.760 --> 0:27:53.840
<v Speaker 1>this was a this is such like a god like

0:27:54.040 --> 0:27:57.320
<v Speaker 1>universe moment of just like humbleness but also what people

0:27:57.400 --> 0:28:00.359
<v Speaker 1>think our lives are, you know, from the Instagram or

0:28:00.359 --> 0:28:03.399
<v Speaker 1>from a social media whatever they've made in their hip. Bro,

0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:06.840
<v Speaker 1>I go to Arizona for therapy seven days intense. I

0:28:06.840 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 1>mean it was, like the guy told me, because you

0:28:08.600 --> 0:28:10.320
<v Speaker 1>pretty much went from not driving a car to the

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:13.239
<v Speaker 1>Daytona five hundred, right, and h I go in there

0:28:13.240 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 1>and known exactly what dude, I just started feeling like

0:28:15.160 --> 0:28:17.280
<v Speaker 1>I was getting angry, started feeling I was getting some

0:28:17.320 --> 0:28:20.080
<v Speaker 1>traits that people in my family had and I wasn't

0:28:20.440 --> 0:28:22.200
<v Speaker 1>being able to control them. And I was like, I'm

0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to nip this in the butt. I've always

0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 1>felt since I was a kid, I was a guy

0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:28.040
<v Speaker 1>that was going to change my family's path. And I

0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:30.879
<v Speaker 1>started seeing those things pop up, and you know, all

0:28:30.880 --> 0:28:33.280
<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, my anger or this shit that's not me,

0:28:33.440 --> 0:28:35.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, and I'm like, we got to do something.

0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:38.040
<v Speaker 1>And h somebody at a friend of mine at the

0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 1>label reached out to al and aw hook me up

0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:41.960
<v Speaker 1>at this place. And first person I meet when I

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:44.480
<v Speaker 1>walk in, their first person in my group, it's from Franklin,

0:28:44.480 --> 0:28:44.880
<v Speaker 1>tonnes site.

0:28:45.280 --> 0:28:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Really you had to go random Arizona, Random Arizona.

0:28:49.080 --> 0:28:50.680
<v Speaker 1>And it even better, I do.

0:28:50.760 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 2>Do you see at the wy Yeah, Steve, what are

0:28:52.680 --> 0:28:53.120
<v Speaker 2>you doing here?

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 1>B So I thought maybe I'd get out and it'd

0:28:55.600 --> 0:28:57.280
<v Speaker 1>be you know, no one would know, and it would

0:28:57.320 --> 0:28:59.040
<v Speaker 1>just be you know, me and a bunch of people

0:28:59.240 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 1>in a group. And it was when I want to

0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:04.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm driving to my first day park, get a call

0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:09.480
<v Speaker 1>from my management, Hey, congratulations, whiskey and rain went number

0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:11.000
<v Speaker 1>one A week early. It looks like you're about to

0:29:11.000 --> 0:29:13.440
<v Speaker 1>have your first two week number one. And it was

0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:16.080
<v Speaker 1>already right to go, about to go platinum. I just

0:29:16.120 --> 0:29:19.200
<v Speaker 1>pulled into therapy. I'm sitting in the parking lot, get

0:29:19.200 --> 0:29:21.160
<v Speaker 1>this call, dude, And it was just this rush of

0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:24.360
<v Speaker 1>emotions because I think I didn't realize, you know, coming

0:29:24.360 --> 0:29:26.640
<v Speaker 1>from the South, coming from you don't talk about stuff.

0:29:27.080 --> 0:29:29.640
<v Speaker 2>Therapy was not a thing for what people did, what

0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:32.760
<v Speaker 2>rich people did on TV. Yeah, and there were shrinks

0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:34.840
<v Speaker 2>and that's just not for us because we got to

0:29:34.840 --> 0:29:37.320
<v Speaker 2>worry about eating, not going to have mental health jet yeah,

0:29:37.360 --> 0:29:37.720
<v Speaker 2>or are you looking?

0:29:37.760 --> 0:29:39.000
<v Speaker 1>You go, I'm not paying you one hundred and fifty

0:29:39.040 --> 0:29:40.840
<v Speaker 1>dollars an hour to talk to you. You know, I'll

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:43.479
<v Speaker 1>go and do this or I'll go whatever. And all

0:29:43.560 --> 0:29:45.360
<v Speaker 1>douz is just push it down and push it down.

0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:47.120
<v Speaker 1>And at some point it's like filling up a five

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:49.240
<v Speaker 1>gallon bucket. You know, it only can hold five gallons,

0:29:49.280 --> 0:29:51.280
<v Speaker 1>you put five and a half. Half of it's falling out,

0:29:51.320 --> 0:29:53.040
<v Speaker 1>you know. And so I think it's what we do

0:29:53.080 --> 0:29:54.520
<v Speaker 1>as humans. We just push it down, push it down,

0:29:54.560 --> 0:29:57.640
<v Speaker 1>push down, and then it comes out in an angry

0:29:57.640 --> 0:29:59.320
<v Speaker 1>way or in a way that you grew up that

0:29:59.320 --> 0:30:01.960
<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden you're like, oh, wow, why did

0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:03.320
<v Speaker 1>I just say that, you know? Or why did I

0:30:03.320 --> 0:30:03.600
<v Speaker 1>just do that?

0:30:03.600 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 2>It's funny you were seeing some of those traits that

0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:07.880
<v Speaker 2>you didn't want to have that maybe you had seen

0:30:07.880 --> 0:30:11.240
<v Speaker 2>though as a kid in yeah, and you to even

0:30:12.000 --> 0:30:15.600
<v Speaker 2>acknowledge to even have the where it's all to go, oh,

0:30:15.720 --> 0:30:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I see this, Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, because

0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:21.200
<v Speaker 2>sometimes I'll have these but I don't I can't notice.

0:30:21.280 --> 0:30:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't have the capability to go oh. Some of

0:30:23.840 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 2>my wife would be like, hey, just so you know,

0:30:25.160 --> 0:30:27.680
<v Speaker 2>you're spiraling, and I'm like, oh, you're right.

0:30:27.800 --> 0:30:28.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:31.040
<v Speaker 2>The fact that you could see it in yourself, like

0:30:31.200 --> 0:30:32.760
<v Speaker 2>that's that's pretty mature.

0:30:32.920 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean it was. It was. I think I

0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:37.760
<v Speaker 1>just those are the memories I have growing up of

0:30:37.840 --> 0:30:40.560
<v Speaker 1>some of those you know, holes punched in walls and

0:30:40.640 --> 0:30:42.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, all of that stuff that I never did that,

0:30:42.760 --> 0:30:45.400
<v Speaker 1>but it was like those little things where I was like, oh,

0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:49.000
<v Speaker 1>that's close. And then I also had a my mom's sister.

0:30:49.120 --> 0:30:51.720
<v Speaker 1>Not to get all down, but my mom's sister took

0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 1>her own life around just before that time, and I

0:30:54.720 --> 0:30:57.320
<v Speaker 1>remember sitting at the service, and for the first time

0:30:57.680 --> 0:31:00.560
<v Speaker 1>ever before I went into the therapy, like I literally,

0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 1>dude could sit on my count and this is not me,

0:31:02.560 --> 0:31:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm up in the morning at the gym, like

0:31:04.320 --> 0:31:07.560
<v Speaker 1>I try to like live every second I can. And Dude,

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:09.640
<v Speaker 1>for months, man, I couldn't get off the There'd be

0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:13.320
<v Speaker 1>days where I just didn't literally no, no, should just

0:31:13.400 --> 0:31:15.880
<v Speaker 1>checked out and numb Laurie like I could. I'd look

0:31:15.880 --> 0:31:17.320
<v Speaker 1>at that water bowl and go, man, I'm thirsty and

0:31:17.360 --> 0:31:19.760
<v Speaker 1>sit there for ten hours, you know, and I had,

0:31:19.920 --> 0:31:21.720
<v Speaker 1>and I could, and I'd break out of it for

0:31:21.720 --> 0:31:23.200
<v Speaker 1>a little bit, but then I'd go out, you know,

0:31:23.280 --> 0:31:25.680
<v Speaker 1>and then I'd come back and isolate. And that was

0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:28.480
<v Speaker 1>my problem, is isolation. And I realized that once stuff

0:31:28.480 --> 0:31:30.959
<v Speaker 1>get bad, I just removed myself from the stuff.

0:31:31.320 --> 0:31:32.000
<v Speaker 2>I do the same thing.

0:31:32.360 --> 0:31:34.760
<v Speaker 1>And it's tough, man, And it's from friends, you know,

0:31:34.800 --> 0:31:37.440
<v Speaker 1>people calling you, people hitting you up, and and luckily, man,

0:31:37.480 --> 0:31:39.600
<v Speaker 1>I got a good group of guys around me. You know.

0:31:39.680 --> 0:31:41.440
<v Speaker 1>Brandley Gilbert was one of them that called me and

0:31:41.560 --> 0:31:44.480
<v Speaker 1>was like, hey, get in that jeep, get your ass

0:31:44.480 --> 0:31:45.880
<v Speaker 1>down to my house for a few days and come

0:31:45.880 --> 0:31:48.600
<v Speaker 1>hang out, you know. And so it was all these things.

0:31:48.600 --> 0:31:50.880
<v Speaker 1>I started realizing, I'm like, I don't like the fact

0:31:50.920 --> 0:31:53.680
<v Speaker 1>that I feel like somebody's driving the ship and I'm

0:31:53.720 --> 0:31:54.280
<v Speaker 1>looking at it.

0:31:54.280 --> 0:31:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Did they were you diagnosed as being clinically depressed when

0:31:56.760 --> 0:31:57.720
<v Speaker 2>you were started going to therapy?

0:31:57.760 --> 0:31:58.200
<v Speaker 1>All right? Yeah?

0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:00.520
<v Speaker 2>Or were you just like going that I was depressed?

0:32:00.880 --> 0:32:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Uh no, They told me that because I had to go.

0:32:03.000 --> 0:32:04.880
<v Speaker 1>So what it ends up happening? They said that when

0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.440
<v Speaker 1>your body has so much going on that there's two

0:32:07.440 --> 0:32:10.360
<v Speaker 1>ways that it reacts, right, and it's either this hyperactive

0:32:10.400 --> 0:32:12.400
<v Speaker 1>thing where that's the nervous people that are you know,

0:32:13.320 --> 0:32:16.320
<v Speaker 1>or it's like paralyzed. And they're like, that's what you

0:32:16.480 --> 0:32:18.680
<v Speaker 1>fighter flight. Yeah, it's fight or flight exactly. Yeah. And

0:32:18.720 --> 0:32:20.160
<v Speaker 1>so that's pretty much what I was what I was

0:32:20.200 --> 0:32:22.720
<v Speaker 1>dealing with, you know. And then and then what's what's

0:32:22.960 --> 0:32:26.280
<v Speaker 1>more messed up about that situation is in your mind,

0:32:26.880 --> 0:32:29.160
<v Speaker 1>you're like, why am I doing this? I know I

0:32:29.160 --> 0:32:31.640
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't be doing this. Why am I not answering this call?

0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:34.160
<v Speaker 1>Why am I not doing this whatever? But it's like

0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:36.720
<v Speaker 1>your body's not It's like I can't go. I want

0:32:36.760 --> 0:32:38.640
<v Speaker 1>to grab that book, but like someone's holding me down,

0:32:38.720 --> 0:32:40.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, And it was the weirdest thing. So I

0:32:40.720 --> 0:32:42.640
<v Speaker 1>think all of that and then starting to notice like

0:32:43.040 --> 0:32:46.280
<v Speaker 1>anger and the different things I didn't like seeing growing up.

0:32:46.360 --> 0:32:47.560
<v Speaker 1>And like I said, I always felt like I was

0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:49.040
<v Speaker 1>a guy that was meant to change the path of

0:32:49.080 --> 0:32:53.280
<v Speaker 1>my my family, and and I just wanted to wanted

0:32:53.280 --> 0:32:55.440
<v Speaker 1>to change it, man. And luckily, you know, somebody at

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:57.680
<v Speaker 1>Warner stepped in, and a lot like your wife, you

0:32:57.680 --> 0:32:59.840
<v Speaker 1>know something we need people like you need your wife,

0:32:59.880 --> 0:33:02.320
<v Speaker 1>And those situations where it's like, hey, Bobby, because I

0:33:02.360 --> 0:33:04.440
<v Speaker 1>love you.

0:33:03.880 --> 0:33:06.680
<v Speaker 2>And I'm always irritated and you don't even understand. You

0:33:06.680 --> 0:33:08.920
<v Speaker 2>don't even know what I mean, what I've been through.

0:33:09.320 --> 0:33:11.720
<v Speaker 2>And then it's like after like after she tells me

0:33:11.760 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 2>this and I have an hour, I'm like, god, dang,

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:16.840
<v Speaker 2>she was right. She was right. And sometimes she tells

0:33:16.880 --> 0:33:18.560
<v Speaker 2>me this and I'm like, you don't even and in

0:33:18.560 --> 0:33:20.120
<v Speaker 2>my mind be going, She's been right the other right time.

0:33:20.160 --> 0:33:23.000
<v Speaker 2>So still I'm like, you don't even know. It's like

0:33:23.120 --> 0:33:25.400
<v Speaker 2>I cannot stop the cycle of telling her she's wrong

0:33:25.760 --> 0:33:26.800
<v Speaker 2>when she's always right.

0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:38.720
<v Speaker 4>The Bobby cast will be right back, Welcome back to

0:33:38.840 --> 0:33:39.680
<v Speaker 4>the Bobby Cast.

0:33:39.920 --> 0:33:43.160
<v Speaker 2>I just think, are we have parallel paths here in

0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:45.440
<v Speaker 2>a lot of ways, from where we come from, the

0:33:45.480 --> 0:33:47.720
<v Speaker 2>culture that we were in, what we were exposed to,

0:33:48.120 --> 0:33:49.720
<v Speaker 2>what the people in our towns did. I'm from a

0:33:49.800 --> 0:33:53.880
<v Speaker 2>very hard working mill town. Like that's work. You go

0:33:54.080 --> 0:33:55.800
<v Speaker 2>and you work, and then you have a few hours

0:33:55.800 --> 0:33:56.840
<v Speaker 2>in the evening and then you go to sleep and

0:33:56.880 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you go to work again.

0:33:57.840 --> 0:33:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:33:58.480 --> 0:34:01.640
<v Speaker 2>And so for me, I always been so scared to

0:34:01.760 --> 0:34:06.280
<v Speaker 2>have kids because I don't want to make that mistake

0:34:06.520 --> 0:34:09.319
<v Speaker 2>that my biological father did, which he was just gone.

0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:11.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't I don't know him now met him. We

0:34:11.880 --> 0:34:13.880
<v Speaker 2>don't hate him anymore, but we don't have a relationship.

0:34:14.640 --> 0:34:17.040
<v Speaker 2>You coming from where you come from, does that concern

0:34:17.080 --> 0:34:20.120
<v Speaker 2>you at all with having children? Because again you can

0:34:20.160 --> 0:34:23.200
<v Speaker 2>sit and have the understanding of I'm going into these patterns.

0:34:23.200 --> 0:34:24.799
<v Speaker 2>Does that Does it concern you that you would do

0:34:24.880 --> 0:34:25.600
<v Speaker 2>that as a dad?

0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:28.880
<v Speaker 1>No, because I wanted to break that before that ever happened,

0:34:29.400 --> 0:34:31.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, before I ever have a family. I didn't

0:34:31.520 --> 0:34:36.479
<v Speaker 1>want that to be my first reaction. And so because

0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:39.839
<v Speaker 1>I feel, I really feel what you're saying, because I've

0:34:39.840 --> 0:34:42.840
<v Speaker 1>always kind of battled that too, of like do I

0:34:42.840 --> 0:34:45.600
<v Speaker 1>want to have kids? What if I repeat this process.

0:34:45.600 --> 0:34:47.800
<v Speaker 1>That's my fear, you know. And if I repeat it

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:49.520
<v Speaker 1>and I don't even know I'm going down that rabbit,

0:34:49.600 --> 0:34:51.600
<v Speaker 1>that pattern, I don't see it, and all of a

0:34:51.600 --> 0:34:53.719
<v Speaker 1>sudden boom, I look up and I'm in it. You know,

0:34:53.840 --> 0:34:55.440
<v Speaker 1>this is not what I wanted. And now I'm dragging

0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:57.520
<v Speaker 1>a kid through. You know what I went through and

0:34:57.520 --> 0:34:59.719
<v Speaker 1>all that as hell, Man, you don't want I would

0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:01.400
<v Speaker 1>never want to do that. But then there's also a

0:35:01.440 --> 0:35:02.879
<v Speaker 1>part of me, man, and I think over the last

0:35:02.880 --> 0:35:04.920
<v Speaker 1>couple of years, it just really made me feel like

0:35:04.920 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 1>there's a bigger purpose in life, and that's something I

0:35:10.120 --> 0:35:11.719
<v Speaker 1>want to I hope to experience one day.

0:35:11.840 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, when you were at and we'll just call

0:35:14.560 --> 0:35:20.279
<v Speaker 2>it your therapy camp, that's what I called. I was

0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:24.120
<v Speaker 2>at a pretty bad place where i'd have any connections, Like,

0:35:24.120 --> 0:35:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I didn't feel true connections with people. I was just numb.

0:35:28.320 --> 0:35:30.640
<v Speaker 2>Instead of drinking because I don't drink. I've never drank

0:35:30.680 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 2>because of my biological debt. They all drink, so I've

0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:34.479
<v Speaker 2>never drank. But what I would do is I would

0:35:34.520 --> 0:35:37.760
<v Speaker 2>just work just the same thing. Just you just find

0:35:37.800 --> 0:35:41.000
<v Speaker 2>something to consume yourself with so you don't feel other things.

0:35:41.520 --> 0:35:42.799
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I was doing all the time, all

0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:44.480
<v Speaker 2>the time, all the time. And so I had a

0:35:44.520 --> 0:35:47.600
<v Speaker 2>couple different friends and I said their names. I don't

0:35:47.600 --> 0:35:48.919
<v Speaker 2>think they would care, and it's not a name drop,

0:35:48.960 --> 0:35:51.960
<v Speaker 2>but just to acknowledge how important they were at the time.

0:35:52.480 --> 0:35:54.959
<v Speaker 2>Dave Haywood, Oh yeah, he's one of the sweetest guys

0:35:54.960 --> 0:35:58.560
<v Speaker 2>from Lady, A very analytical guy but also super creative.

0:35:58.600 --> 0:36:00.879
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, hey, man, you're having to run

0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:03.080
<v Speaker 2>your own crap and you're also having to like be

0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:05.440
<v Speaker 2>creative and think and and you know, come up with

0:36:05.480 --> 0:36:07.640
<v Speaker 2>these ideas at the same time you're managing folk. He

0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:09.920
<v Speaker 2>was like, if you thought about on site and I

0:36:10.280 --> 0:36:12.560
<v Speaker 2>want to go some therapy, I mean, I'd go to therapy,

0:36:12.600 --> 0:36:15.200
<v Speaker 2>but I'm not going on something hoity toty therapy. Yeah,

0:36:15.320 --> 0:36:16.920
<v Speaker 2>what am I going to live for?

0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:20.160
<v Speaker 1>As I feel that was the same way man.

0:36:20.040 --> 0:36:22.200
<v Speaker 2>And so he's like, just think about it. I said, okay, okay.

0:36:23.040 --> 0:36:24.520
<v Speaker 2>Nicole Galli and I talked to me about it a

0:36:24.520 --> 0:36:27.440
<v Speaker 2>little bit because Nicole and myself and Ross Kaufran had

0:36:27.440 --> 0:36:29.520
<v Speaker 2>done this secret writing project together. We'd written all these

0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:31.920
<v Speaker 2>songs and did it under a fake name, and so

0:36:32.000 --> 0:36:35.240
<v Speaker 2>we did, and and then it was honestly, Tyler Hubbard

0:36:35.239 --> 0:36:36.600
<v Speaker 2>and I had got into a huge fight. A couple

0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:38.960
<v Speaker 2>of them. They had like come at me randomly, and

0:36:39.000 --> 0:36:40.920
<v Speaker 2>then we'd always like get on the phone and he'd

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:42.359
<v Speaker 2>yell at me, I'd yell at him, and then we'd

0:36:42.360 --> 0:36:44.360
<v Speaker 2>be like cool again. And we went to have coffee

0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:46.600
<v Speaker 2>once and he was like, bro, you need to go

0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:50.120
<v Speaker 2>out to Osie. That's my best tiler of impression. And

0:36:50.200 --> 0:36:52.319
<v Speaker 2>I was like, really because he had helped me complete it,

0:36:52.400 --> 0:36:54.000
<v Speaker 2>and so it was freaking Tyler.

0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:54.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:36:54.760 --> 0:36:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Who And We've been up and down in our relationship

0:36:57.760 --> 0:36:59.840
<v Speaker 2>for my whole time I've been here, but it was

0:37:00.160 --> 0:37:01.880
<v Speaker 2>definitely one of those places we were good. He was like,

0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:03.320
<v Speaker 2>it would really help you because I think Tyler and

0:37:03.320 --> 0:37:04.960
<v Speaker 2>I very I think that's probably why we but had

0:37:05.000 --> 0:37:06.080
<v Speaker 2>sometimes two were very similar.

0:37:06.120 --> 0:37:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's at workaholic too.

0:37:08.600 --> 0:37:11.440
<v Speaker 2>That guy stop very similar. So I trusted him and

0:37:11.440 --> 0:37:14.800
<v Speaker 2>I went and there was an entire group that was together,

0:37:15.239 --> 0:37:17.879
<v Speaker 2>and then there was me and some of the folks

0:37:17.920 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 2>that were like, you won't want to get in a

0:37:19.080 --> 0:37:20.400
<v Speaker 2>group because people are gonna know who you are and

0:37:20.400 --> 0:37:22.080
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna worry that they're going to be telling folks

0:37:22.080 --> 0:37:25.200
<v Speaker 2>stuff off your show. So I did I think six days,

0:37:25.239 --> 0:37:27.440
<v Speaker 2>five or six days of eight hours a day.

0:37:27.440 --> 0:37:30.320
<v Speaker 1>One on one on one, one on Oh.

0:37:30.400 --> 0:37:32.360
<v Speaker 2>I hadn't cried in years, and I remember telling the

0:37:32.400 --> 0:37:35.640
<v Speaker 2>lady that same therapist, that same therapist every day.

0:37:35.600 --> 0:37:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Right, Oh my goodness. I'm like, that's heavy.

0:37:37.400 --> 0:37:39.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't cry. I wish I could cry. I'm like

0:37:39.280 --> 0:37:40.880
<v Speaker 2>a bathtub that hasn't been unclothed.

0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:44.400
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and it's got like hair in and the waters

0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:50.840
<v Speaker 5>like green. There's maybe some book. And she was like, well,

0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:52.359
<v Speaker 5>I'm not going to force you to cry, but at

0:37:52.360 --> 0:37:53.279
<v Speaker 5>some point it's gonna happen.

0:37:53.360 --> 0:37:55.200
<v Speaker 2>Day one, Nope, Day two. Note a couple of things

0:37:55.239 --> 0:37:58.080
<v Speaker 2>happened day three. Day four. We did this thing where

0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:00.680
<v Speaker 2>you put like a scarf on it and you talk

0:38:00.760 --> 0:38:02.319
<v Speaker 2>to it. It's the scarf like reminds you of one

0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:05.040
<v Speaker 2>of your relevant Dude, Yeah, it's my grandma who raised me.

0:38:05.200 --> 0:38:05.399
<v Speaker 1>Yep.

0:38:05.600 --> 0:38:06.760
<v Speaker 2>So she's like, talk to your grandma.

0:38:07.080 --> 0:38:10.120
<v Speaker 1>Boom bude, just gone.

0:38:10.239 --> 0:38:12.359
<v Speaker 2>And I couldn't from then on for the next couple

0:38:12.400 --> 0:38:16.399
<v Speaker 2>of days, I could not not cry. Yeah, because once

0:38:16.480 --> 0:38:19.000
<v Speaker 2>it hit and it was the biggest breakthrough I've ever had.

0:38:19.440 --> 0:38:21.799
<v Speaker 1>Mine was I and Ed m R. Yeah done that too,

0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:24.640
<v Speaker 1>That was mine, dude. Mine and I went there very

0:38:24.880 --> 0:38:26.640
<v Speaker 1>and it was funny cause it's a very similar thing.

0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:28.080
<v Speaker 1>They were like, do you want to do the group whatever?

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:29.960
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, I don't want to stay there,

0:38:30.000 --> 0:38:31.960
<v Speaker 1>so I gotta I got a place next to it.

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:34.800
<v Speaker 1>But I was like, I'll I think in my mind

0:38:35.280 --> 0:38:37.279
<v Speaker 1>it was like I just I'll do whatever I got

0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:38.920
<v Speaker 1>to do to get out of this, right, and so

0:38:39.200 --> 0:38:40.800
<v Speaker 1>just where I need to go, let's go, let's do it,

0:38:40.800 --> 0:38:42.560
<v Speaker 1>and I'll be a part of all of it. So

0:38:42.600 --> 0:38:45.640
<v Speaker 1>the first day I get there and they're doing the group,

0:38:46.160 --> 0:38:48.839
<v Speaker 1>which is like, you know, everybody's saying there's strangers in there,

0:38:48.880 --> 0:38:50.239
<v Speaker 1>like they're saying what they're there for, and like some

0:38:50.239 --> 0:38:51.879
<v Speaker 1>people were there for, like I mean, they're really going

0:38:51.920 --> 0:38:54.160
<v Speaker 1>through stuff, you know, And it gets I'm like last,

0:38:54.160 --> 0:38:55.640
<v Speaker 1>and everybody's saying and I'm like, then what am I

0:38:55.640 --> 0:38:57.080
<v Speaker 1>going to say? I'm a little mad, you know, like

0:38:57.280 --> 0:38:59.319
<v Speaker 1>I've got to going through some anger issues like this

0:38:59.400 --> 0:39:01.719
<v Speaker 1>guy's like his family's falling apart, you know, and I'm

0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:04.200
<v Speaker 1>like and so I just stood up there and I

0:39:04.239 --> 0:39:05.800
<v Speaker 1>was like, hey, I don't really know how to say this.

0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:07.279
<v Speaker 1>I go, this is my first time doing this, I said,

0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:09.680
<v Speaker 1>but and I debated on if I want to do this,

0:39:09.680 --> 0:39:13.040
<v Speaker 1>and I schod. But Michael Roach is my actual name,

0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:16.200
<v Speaker 1>Michael Ray is a stage name or whatever you want

0:39:16.200 --> 0:39:17.880
<v Speaker 1>to call it. I go, I'm a country artist. I go,

0:39:18.040 --> 0:39:20.840
<v Speaker 1>here's why I'm here. Blah blah blah. I go, And I,

0:39:20.880 --> 0:39:23.040
<v Speaker 1>oddly enough have the number one song in country radio

0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:25.840
<v Speaker 1>right now. And this guy I'll never forget. He was

0:39:25.880 --> 0:39:27.960
<v Speaker 1>sitting over there, and he was an older guy. And

0:39:28.040 --> 0:39:29.920
<v Speaker 1>after the group, he comes up to me and that

0:39:30.000 --> 0:39:31.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of opened up everybody and then all of a sudden,

0:39:32.120 --> 0:39:34.480
<v Speaker 1>everybody starts talking a little bit more. And now that group, dude.

0:39:34.480 --> 0:39:37.000
<v Speaker 1>By day two, day three, we were like we're in

0:39:37.000 --> 0:39:39.239
<v Speaker 1>a group text, you know, and like really leaning on

0:39:39.280 --> 0:39:41.560
<v Speaker 1>each other. And the one guy had been in therapy

0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:43.040
<v Speaker 1>quite a bit throughout his life, and he was in

0:39:43.040 --> 0:39:45.920
<v Speaker 1>his late sixties, mid sixties, and he told me, he's like, man,

0:39:45.960 --> 0:39:47.560
<v Speaker 1>he goes, you come in here in your early thirties.

0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:49.000
<v Speaker 1>He goes, you won't go through what I've had to

0:39:49.000 --> 0:39:52.799
<v Speaker 1>go through. You know, you're doing it now. And and

0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:54.680
<v Speaker 1>we would do the group and then we would do

0:39:54.719 --> 0:39:56.719
<v Speaker 1>a few sessions one on one and then group, and

0:39:56.719 --> 0:39:58.880
<v Speaker 1>there's a few sessions and the group we had to

0:39:58.920 --> 0:40:01.200
<v Speaker 1>do those where you set the hear up. And it

0:40:01.280 --> 0:40:03.080
<v Speaker 1>was that same exact thing to me, man, And it

0:40:03.120 --> 0:40:09.839
<v Speaker 1>was like, my grandpa died two weeks before my first

0:40:09.880 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 1>single came out, and three days before my house a

0:40:14.120 --> 0:40:16.560
<v Speaker 1>blue show where all the in Orlando we sold out,

0:40:16.600 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 1>all radios comeing, they Warner brought everybody in. He passed

0:40:19.600 --> 0:40:22.759
<v Speaker 1>away two days before that. And then and then he

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:24.719
<v Speaker 1>was supposed to be the opry and me and him.

0:40:24.760 --> 0:40:27.680
<v Speaker 1>That's how I learned it all. Three weeks after he passed,

0:40:27.719 --> 0:40:29.640
<v Speaker 1>I get an email, Hey, pick your opry date, and

0:40:29.680 --> 0:40:32.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you know, And so I didn't realize that

0:40:32.800 --> 0:40:34.920
<v Speaker 1>I was in the radio tour. So what did I do?

0:40:35.239 --> 0:40:37.640
<v Speaker 1>I go honor my grandfather at the show. That's what

0:40:37.640 --> 0:40:39.359
<v Speaker 1>he'd want me to do. Show goes great. I said,

0:40:39.360 --> 0:40:41.880
<v Speaker 1>as guitar that he played for forty fifty years up

0:40:41.920 --> 0:40:44.520
<v Speaker 1>there had a light on it, went to the service,

0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 1>wrote us a bituary, did everything right back out on

0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:49.759
<v Speaker 1>the road. And I did that every time someone passed away.

0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:53.040
<v Speaker 1>Didn't mourn never, never, Really, I'm mourned in that moment.

0:40:52.800 --> 0:40:54.799
<v Speaker 2>But not you didn't. You didn't have time to like

0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:56.799
<v Speaker 2>natally and yeah, and I just.

0:40:56.880 --> 0:40:58.799
<v Speaker 1>Left, you know. And then and then I realized I

0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:01.880
<v Speaker 1>did that E M D R DMR whichever. Someone messed up.

0:41:01.920 --> 0:41:06.200
<v Speaker 1>But dude, that was why I went, like, I didn't

0:41:06.239 --> 0:41:09.200
<v Speaker 1>know anything about that stuff. But many this one they

0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:13.239
<v Speaker 1>put these prongs in your hand like vibes, and I'm

0:41:13.239 --> 0:41:14.719
<v Speaker 1>closed my eyes and I'm talking. And one of the

0:41:14.760 --> 0:41:17.440
<v Speaker 1>craziest things do that happened on the last day. She

0:41:17.480 --> 0:41:19.000
<v Speaker 1>goes to you, she goes, what do you see now?

0:41:20.040 --> 0:41:22.680
<v Speaker 1>And I go, I see my grandparents in there in

0:41:22.760 --> 0:41:25.200
<v Speaker 1>that door, And I said, my grandma's wearing this white

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 1>shirt with like some stuff like embroidery on it. But

0:41:28.200 --> 0:41:31.680
<v Speaker 1>she's not old. She's like in her fifties, see on forties.

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I said, she's got these coke bottle big glasses on

0:41:33.600 --> 0:41:34.719
<v Speaker 1>they used to wear in the nineties, and her hair

0:41:34.760 --> 0:41:36.759
<v Speaker 1>prin druss and my grandpa's wearing a blue polo shirt.

0:41:36.800 --> 0:41:40.200
<v Speaker 1>I describe everything right, And then it hits me. I

0:41:40.200 --> 0:41:44.399
<v Speaker 1>have that photo in my phone, in an old photo,

0:41:44.480 --> 0:41:46.080
<v Speaker 1>and they were standing there, man, and it was just

0:41:47.000 --> 0:41:49.080
<v Speaker 1>it was And then again, they tell you to talk

0:41:49.120 --> 0:41:50.920
<v Speaker 1>to them it, which sounds so crazy when you're talking

0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:51.720
<v Speaker 1>right now.

0:41:51.600 --> 0:41:53.160
<v Speaker 2>You know, it sounds crazy to even start doing it.

0:41:53.200 --> 0:41:55.640
<v Speaker 2>But once you start, oh dude, then you're like.

0:41:55.760 --> 0:41:57.839
<v Speaker 1>It's like a baptism. Bro. It's like it's like you're

0:41:57.880 --> 0:42:02.200
<v Speaker 1>you just you know, bro, you know, I'm bubble ugly crying.

0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:04.759
<v Speaker 1>And it was like that man, I told him, I

0:42:04.800 --> 0:42:07.080
<v Speaker 1>go if that's the only reason I came, like I

0:42:07.160 --> 0:42:09.439
<v Speaker 1>felt like this massive. I feel like God just put

0:42:09.440 --> 0:42:11.680
<v Speaker 1>a took his hand and pulled the way off, you know.

0:42:12.120 --> 0:42:15.440
<v Speaker 1>But it's because al and then got me into that place,

0:42:15.560 --> 0:42:17.600
<v Speaker 1>and I know how because of Tyler and all them.

0:42:17.600 --> 0:42:19.400
<v Speaker 1>So it's kind of a weird yeah, weird circle.

0:42:19.440 --> 0:42:21.719
<v Speaker 2>But you know, I guess I never cried. There was

0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:23.719
<v Speaker 2>a little shame for me and crying, not because there

0:42:23.760 --> 0:42:25.880
<v Speaker 2>was any sort of masculinity, like men don't cry. I

0:42:25.920 --> 0:42:28.319
<v Speaker 2>didn't have a male influence really, right, my dad was gone,

0:42:28.560 --> 0:42:29.680
<v Speaker 2>but I didn't even call my dad. But for the

0:42:29.719 --> 0:42:31.920
<v Speaker 2>sake of this, my biological I was gone. I had

0:42:31.920 --> 0:42:34.200
<v Speaker 2>a head football coach who was a father figure ish

0:42:34.239 --> 0:42:35.560
<v Speaker 2>as much as you can be when it's not even

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.080
<v Speaker 2>your kid. Very much disciplined, how a youth director who

0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:40.160
<v Speaker 2>helped but never had a dad, so it was very missed.

0:42:40.400 --> 0:42:43.399
<v Speaker 2>So my not crying was never oh I can't, men

0:42:43.480 --> 0:42:46.000
<v Speaker 2>don't cry. It was like, people already think I'm weak

0:42:46.719 --> 0:42:49.160
<v Speaker 2>and I'm already the charity case, so I'm not gonna

0:42:49.160 --> 0:42:51.120
<v Speaker 2>cry because I can't show weakness because they already think

0:42:51.120 --> 0:42:54.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm weak. So it was never a masculinity thing, but

0:42:54.960 --> 0:42:59.880
<v Speaker 2>it was a shame in being not as much. I

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:01.920
<v Speaker 2>didn't feel like people would feel like I had value.

0:43:02.000 --> 0:43:05.759
<v Speaker 2>So I have trouble crying. And even the first time

0:43:05.760 --> 0:43:07.920
<v Speaker 2>I started crying in therapy, I was just so embarrassed.

0:43:08.040 --> 0:43:10.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I was just like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

0:43:10.600 --> 0:43:12.600
<v Speaker 2>She was like, great, why are you sorry? And I

0:43:12.640 --> 0:43:14.120
<v Speaker 2>was like, no, no, I shouldn't be doing this. And

0:43:14.160 --> 0:43:16.160
<v Speaker 2>I still struggle with that, but that was a big

0:43:16.200 --> 0:43:19.680
<v Speaker 2>part of that for me, was just crying and not

0:43:19.800 --> 0:43:20.880
<v Speaker 2>apologizing for it.

0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:22.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I think people grew up like we did.

0:43:23.200 --> 0:43:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Sorry is our first go to. Yeah, I apologize. I'm like,

0:43:26.320 --> 0:43:29.319
<v Speaker 1>why did I just apologize? Sometimes I'm sorry? It's like

0:43:29.400 --> 0:43:31.960
<v Speaker 1>just comes out. And I think it's because growing up, man,

0:43:32.080 --> 0:43:34.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, my dad was a paramedic firefighter too for

0:43:34.440 --> 0:43:39.600
<v Speaker 1>twenty something years, and so the PTSD that he never

0:43:39.600 --> 0:43:42.879
<v Speaker 1>got taken care of until later on in his career. Dude,

0:43:43.200 --> 0:43:46.440
<v Speaker 1>that I mean it made growing up sometimes hell, you know.

0:43:46.600 --> 0:43:48.799
<v Speaker 2>And he probably didn't even know why he was being

0:43:48.840 --> 0:43:50.400
<v Speaker 2>affected in ways he was being affected.

0:43:50.560 --> 0:43:52.239
<v Speaker 1>Dude. He would wake up in the mill of the night.

0:43:52.600 --> 0:43:54.439
<v Speaker 1>And I remember one that some of the craziest stuff,

0:43:54.440 --> 0:43:57.400
<v Speaker 1>manbe I was like eight or nine. My parents got divorced,

0:43:57.440 --> 0:43:59.280
<v Speaker 1>and I was at my grandparents' house and I stayed

0:43:59.280 --> 0:44:02.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot with them, and my grandpa was, you know,

0:44:02.080 --> 0:44:03.600
<v Speaker 1>teach me chords on the guitar, and I was always

0:44:03.640 --> 0:44:05.440
<v Speaker 1>over there. He would call it like two in the

0:44:05.480 --> 0:44:08.359
<v Speaker 1>morning and my grandpa coming, hey, wake up, say hey

0:44:08.440 --> 0:44:11.880
<v Speaker 1>your dad. I'm like, hey, hey, you good? Yeah? All,

0:44:11.920 --> 0:44:14.800
<v Speaker 1>I love you. And that'd be it. Later on in life,

0:44:14.840 --> 0:44:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I'd ask my dad later on as an adult, I'm like, hey, man,

0:44:17.000 --> 0:44:18.759
<v Speaker 1>why would you call us like two in the morning,

0:44:18.840 --> 0:44:20.759
<v Speaker 1>you know where we were at? And he goes, Man goes,

0:44:20.800 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 1>because I just worked a call on an eight year

0:44:22.719 --> 0:44:25.440
<v Speaker 1>old who God had the same here you know everything,

0:44:25.440 --> 0:44:27.759
<v Speaker 1>And it was like and then the dude, these these

0:44:27.800 --> 0:44:31.600
<v Speaker 1>men and women are trained to literally me and you

0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:34.480
<v Speaker 1>go see horror I mean a horror movie in real life,

0:44:35.600 --> 0:44:37.120
<v Speaker 1>take it to the hospital, do all this stuff, and

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:41.359
<v Speaker 1>then go you good, Yeah, all right, Hey, we're we're

0:44:41.400 --> 0:44:43.239
<v Speaker 1>back in yeah, or go eat a sandwich, you know,

0:44:43.360 --> 0:44:44.920
<v Speaker 1>And they push it back in here because they have to.

0:44:45.000 --> 0:44:47.080
<v Speaker 1>That next call might be right as soon as they

0:44:47.120 --> 0:44:48.959
<v Speaker 1>call in. That next call might be the exact same

0:44:49.080 --> 0:44:50.920
<v Speaker 1>or worse, or it might be some you know, an

0:44:50.960 --> 0:44:53.560
<v Speaker 1>older lady slipping fella needs help picking up, or it

0:44:53.560 --> 0:44:55.200
<v Speaker 1>could be what you just saw. And so he all

0:44:55.239 --> 0:44:56.840
<v Speaker 1>he never got help for that. He never talked to

0:44:56.880 --> 0:44:58.800
<v Speaker 1>anybody and did it. We did. Just came out in anger.

0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:01.040
<v Speaker 1>He was pissed off because of you know, stuff that

0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:03.839
<v Speaker 1>he had gone through, and it was over controlling and

0:45:03.960 --> 0:45:06.040
<v Speaker 1>just a lot of like you know, a lot of

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:08.319
<v Speaker 1>just got whatever can stop the fighting, I'll do.

0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.040
<v Speaker 2>That's heavy stuff that I don't think that I think

0:45:11.040 --> 0:45:13.520
<v Speaker 2>about enough either. With the jobs military, I understand, I

0:45:13.560 --> 0:45:15.680
<v Speaker 2>don't even understand, but like I understand that I don't understand,

0:45:15.680 --> 0:45:17.960
<v Speaker 2>like I stand with it. But yeah, even like a

0:45:18.040 --> 0:45:20.239
<v Speaker 2>paramedic you're just see or a police officer. Yeah, man

0:45:20.400 --> 0:45:24.480
<v Speaker 2>aside from the possibility of you dying by some bad

0:45:24.560 --> 0:45:28.840
<v Speaker 2>dude killing you. Just what you're seeing by going to Rex,

0:45:29.040 --> 0:45:31.200
<v Speaker 2>like like, that's some traumatizing stuff.

0:45:31.040 --> 0:45:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, man, Or hearing like the screams of somebody that's

0:45:33.120 --> 0:45:34.920
<v Speaker 1>pulling up to a scene and they don't know if

0:45:34.920 --> 0:45:37.000
<v Speaker 1>their loved one's okay. You know, it's just I mean,

0:45:37.080 --> 0:45:39.400
<v Speaker 1>I and there's a lot that I didn't understand obviously

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:41.399
<v Speaker 1>growing up, I'm like, why is my dad this way? Yeah,

0:45:41.440 --> 0:45:42.719
<v Speaker 1>and it was. He made it made a lot of

0:45:42.760 --> 0:45:45.239
<v Speaker 1>things really tough. But as you get older, I think

0:45:45.280 --> 0:45:47.239
<v Speaker 1>you have empathy. You know. Also when I went to there,

0:45:47.239 --> 0:45:49.839
<v Speaker 1>but we did this like family tree thing. Dude, when

0:45:49.920 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 1>you look at it written up, you're like, man, we've

0:45:52.000 --> 0:45:53.200
<v Speaker 1>been screwed up for generations.

0:45:53.680 --> 0:46:00.640
<v Speaker 2>This is generations total pull.

0:46:00.880 --> 0:46:02.880
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it was. So I think that made me

0:46:02.920 --> 0:46:04.520
<v Speaker 1>have a little more empathy. And then he went and

0:46:04.560 --> 0:46:08.600
<v Speaker 1>got taught to somebody really figured out, you know, man,

0:46:08.600 --> 0:46:10.480
<v Speaker 1>you got to you gotta get this stuff straighten out

0:46:10.480 --> 0:46:13.560
<v Speaker 1>because it's getting where it's hard to live with you,

0:46:13.560 --> 0:46:16.600
<v Speaker 1>you know. And so I think I think him just

0:46:16.640 --> 0:46:18.520
<v Speaker 1>going through that stuff really caused it to be harder.

0:46:18.600 --> 0:46:20.040
<v Speaker 1>And then because of that, it was all, there's so

0:46:20.120 --> 0:46:22.239
<v Speaker 1>much fighting all the time that I would just a

0:46:22.320 --> 0:46:24.840
<v Speaker 1>people pleased. And that was one of the things I

0:46:24.880 --> 0:46:26.799
<v Speaker 1>brought with me into my adult life, I guess, which

0:46:26.800 --> 0:46:28.319
<v Speaker 1>made stuff really hard. And you're like, yeah, i'll do

0:46:28.320 --> 0:46:30.400
<v Speaker 1>this yet, and then you're panicking because you add too

0:46:30.440 --> 0:46:31.759
<v Speaker 1>much stuff to your plate. Now you got all this

0:46:31.760 --> 0:46:34.040
<v Speaker 1>stuff going on. So I think the saying I'm sorry

0:46:34.120 --> 0:46:35.680
<v Speaker 1>or the people pleasing all this stuff guys like you

0:46:35.680 --> 0:46:37.680
<v Speaker 1>and I where we grew up. Man, it's just it's

0:46:37.680 --> 0:46:39.920
<v Speaker 1>it just comes out. You know, I'm crying, I'm sorry.

0:46:40.239 --> 0:46:40.960
<v Speaker 1>Who are you started for?

0:46:41.080 --> 0:46:43.840
<v Speaker 2>I feel like you have so much perspective, and perspective's

0:46:43.840 --> 0:46:45.279
<v Speaker 2>hard to get because you never want to have to

0:46:45.280 --> 0:46:47.000
<v Speaker 2>get it because for you to have to get perspective

0:46:47.040 --> 0:46:49.560
<v Speaker 2>means a lot of things didn't go right. But it's

0:46:49.600 --> 0:46:52.120
<v Speaker 2>also like the most valuable thing. Perspective and empathy are

0:46:52.200 --> 0:46:54.239
<v Speaker 2>like the most valuable things you could possibly own, but

0:46:54.280 --> 0:46:55.640
<v Speaker 2>you can't own them if you don't do the work

0:46:55.719 --> 0:46:57.439
<v Speaker 2>or go through the crap to get on Yep. Yeah,

0:46:57.480 --> 0:46:59.480
<v Speaker 2>I feel like at this point in your life you

0:46:59.520 --> 0:47:03.360
<v Speaker 2>have had to develop so much perspective, yeah, man, and

0:47:03.560 --> 0:47:08.840
<v Speaker 2>understanding what would you do differently if you could go back,

0:47:08.920 --> 0:47:11.200
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like a little bit this is I

0:47:11.239 --> 0:47:13.160
<v Speaker 2>don't know you that well. You know, I've spent a

0:47:13.160 --> 0:47:15.439
<v Speaker 2>couple of months. I don't know your ex at all,

0:47:15.760 --> 0:47:19.120
<v Speaker 2>so I have no I know nothing. What would you

0:47:19.120 --> 0:47:20.920
<v Speaker 2>have done differently with that whole relationship? Would you have

0:47:20.920 --> 0:47:21.839
<v Speaker 2>slowed it down a little bit?

0:47:22.200 --> 0:47:26.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? You know, I think too, if I'm being honest,

0:47:26.040 --> 0:47:30.480
<v Speaker 1>I think being really the only true thing I ever

0:47:30.560 --> 0:47:33.160
<v Speaker 1>knew about love or marriage was my grandparents, or my

0:47:33.160 --> 0:47:35.600
<v Speaker 1>aunt and uncle, my gun uncle, my dad's brother him

0:47:35.640 --> 0:47:38.280
<v Speaker 1>and my aunt Kim. They'd met when they were fifteen

0:47:38.320 --> 0:47:40.480
<v Speaker 1>and fourteen, and that was it for the rest of

0:47:40.480 --> 0:47:43.120
<v Speaker 1>their life, you know, until my uncle passed away. And

0:47:43.640 --> 0:47:45.640
<v Speaker 1>so those are the only two things. And I always going, man,

0:47:45.719 --> 0:47:47.520
<v Speaker 1>I want that. Or I'd go to my friend's house,

0:47:47.560 --> 0:47:50.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, and i'd see them and their family or whatever,

0:47:50.640 --> 0:47:53.000
<v Speaker 1>and there was none of the at least obviously when

0:47:53.000 --> 0:47:55.200
<v Speaker 1>you're over there, they're not showing you what's really happening.

0:47:55.200 --> 0:47:59.359
<v Speaker 1>But I think, you know, I can't speak for her,

0:47:59.400 --> 0:48:01.680
<v Speaker 1>but I think from it was like, man, look at

0:48:01.680 --> 0:48:04.000
<v Speaker 1>all this going right, I think she was, you know.

0:48:04.520 --> 0:48:06.520
<v Speaker 1>I also we weren't around each other a lot, and

0:48:06.560 --> 0:48:08.839
<v Speaker 1>we're both touring arts. Yeah, man, and so you got

0:48:08.840 --> 0:48:11.080
<v Speaker 1>the one day and that you're trying to cram it

0:48:11.120 --> 0:48:12.719
<v Speaker 1>in to see each other and do what you know,

0:48:12.800 --> 0:48:14.759
<v Speaker 1>and you're packing and you know you're out again. And

0:48:14.840 --> 0:48:17.760
<v Speaker 1>so I probably would have slowed things down. I wouldn't

0:48:17.760 --> 0:48:22.880
<v Speaker 1>have been so influenced by I think the people, you know,

0:48:23.360 --> 0:48:26.480
<v Speaker 1>fans being involved in it, and you know, to be honest,

0:48:26.520 --> 0:48:29.680
<v Speaker 1>I think I knew in the beginning or around that time,

0:48:29.760 --> 0:48:33.319
<v Speaker 1>that this was something we probably should have slowed down.

0:48:33.960 --> 0:48:36.840
<v Speaker 2>If I could go back, I would not have exposed

0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:38.719
<v Speaker 2>my wife to the public as early as I did.

0:48:39.000 --> 0:48:42.360
<v Speaker 2>And we still waited a while, but I was like,

0:48:43.520 --> 0:48:46.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, I lived my life very openly. She never

0:48:46.719 --> 0:48:49.800
<v Speaker 2>really had an interest in being exposed. Right, exposed is

0:48:49.800 --> 0:48:52.600
<v Speaker 2>a weird word, but just like, you know, really just

0:48:52.640 --> 0:48:55.719
<v Speaker 2>exposing people, because it really made it hard, really hard

0:48:55.719 --> 0:48:59.759
<v Speaker 2>for her because she that's not her favorite thing is

0:48:59.800 --> 0:49:01.920
<v Speaker 2>to be public. She's not trying to be an influencer.

0:49:02.239 --> 0:49:06.000
<v Speaker 2>That's not her life. She's very family oriented, not trying

0:49:06.040 --> 0:49:08.560
<v Speaker 2>to be famous. But what I did by doing it earlier,

0:49:08.600 --> 0:49:12.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it came on so hard and strong for her.

0:49:12.680 --> 0:49:14.520
<v Speaker 2>It was a it was a negative, and she was like,

0:49:14.520 --> 0:49:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't like this very much, and I already already

0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:18.399
<v Speaker 2>didn't love it, So I'm just gonna kind of take

0:49:18.560 --> 0:49:21.880
<v Speaker 2>another half step back where I wish I would have

0:49:22.000 --> 0:49:25.799
<v Speaker 2>just waited a little longer in that What was that

0:49:25.880 --> 0:49:28.080
<v Speaker 2>conversation like for you guys, like, Okay, are we going

0:49:28.120 --> 0:49:29.400
<v Speaker 2>to do this? Because I would also think if I

0:49:29.400 --> 0:49:32.399
<v Speaker 2>were you guys, I would love the attention because two together.

0:49:32.280 --> 0:49:34.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh dude, I mean, I mean, listen, I'm not gonna lie.

0:49:34.400 --> 0:49:35.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's the greatest thing ever.

0:49:35.680 --> 0:49:37.160
<v Speaker 1>It's cool as shit, you know when you want, you know,

0:49:37.200 --> 0:49:39.680
<v Speaker 1>and you see Tim and Faith and you know Garthatricia,

0:49:39.680 --> 0:49:42.360
<v Speaker 1>and you know, we were both coming up kind of

0:49:42.400 --> 0:49:43.960
<v Speaker 1>at the same time, her and I. So it was

0:49:43.960 --> 0:49:46.520
<v Speaker 1>like it wasn't like one was over here and the

0:49:46.560 --> 0:49:48.000
<v Speaker 1>other one was, you know, first starting out, it was

0:49:48.040 --> 0:49:50.040
<v Speaker 1>like we're kind of right there at you said, So

0:49:50.040 --> 0:49:53.600
<v Speaker 1>it was a lot to celebrate. But yeah, I mean, yeah,

0:49:53.640 --> 0:49:55.040
<v Speaker 1>it's it's yeah, I'm not gonna lie do it is

0:49:55.080 --> 0:49:55.600
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot of.

0:49:55.719 --> 0:49:58.040
<v Speaker 2>A lot of perks come with you flatch some of

0:49:58.080 --> 0:50:01.359
<v Speaker 2>the toughness, honestly, like all three hundreds, like look, at

0:50:01.360 --> 0:50:02.840
<v Speaker 2>these two. I don't want to say names. I'm not

0:50:02.840 --> 0:50:04.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna bring her name up because it's not but it's like,

0:50:05.200 --> 0:50:08.120
<v Speaker 2>look at these two together, because sometimes when you put

0:50:08.120 --> 0:50:08.839
<v Speaker 2>two together, it's.

0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:12.759
<v Speaker 1>Bigger than the absolutely man then the two individual lead. Yeah.

0:50:12.920 --> 0:50:15.160
<v Speaker 1>And one thing too that we didn't like, we didn't

0:50:15.160 --> 0:50:17.239
<v Speaker 1>do counseling. We didn't do any of that before. And

0:50:17.280 --> 0:50:19.759
<v Speaker 1>I think that and there was moments that I look

0:50:19.800 --> 0:50:22.160
<v Speaker 1>back now and I'm like, why didn't I speak up

0:50:22.200 --> 0:50:23.879
<v Speaker 1>on that? Like that was one of the first times

0:50:23.880 --> 0:50:27.240
<v Speaker 1>I realized her and I are opposite, you know, and

0:50:27.440 --> 0:50:31.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm a very much more extroverted, you know person, and

0:50:32.239 --> 0:50:34.319
<v Speaker 1>she's not. And so there was a lot of different things.

0:50:34.400 --> 0:50:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I come from a big family that, you know, everybody helped.

0:50:38.600 --> 0:50:40.640
<v Speaker 1>My cousins had keys on my dad's you know, we

0:50:40.800 --> 0:50:42.560
<v Speaker 1>used to just go we'd go and we wouldn't have

0:50:42.600 --> 0:50:44.200
<v Speaker 1>food at the house, and we'd go just go to

0:50:44.239 --> 0:50:46.160
<v Speaker 1>my uncle's house and we'd be in there cooking. They

0:50:46.200 --> 0:50:47.879
<v Speaker 1>weren't even home, you know, Like it was just that,

0:50:47.920 --> 0:50:49.719
<v Speaker 1>you know, So there were little things that I think

0:50:49.760 --> 0:50:51.120
<v Speaker 1>if we would have done that, I think we would

0:50:51.120 --> 0:50:54.200
<v Speaker 1>have seen that, oh, this isn't We're when when you

0:50:54.239 --> 0:50:56.640
<v Speaker 1>do have the two at the same time and it's

0:50:56.640 --> 0:50:59.040
<v Speaker 1>even the same business and it's all the eyes are

0:50:59.080 --> 0:51:03.799
<v Speaker 1>on you, it's very easy to keep that Hey everything's good,

0:51:03.840 --> 0:51:06.239
<v Speaker 1>even when you're home, you know, and you're really not

0:51:06.760 --> 0:51:11.120
<v Speaker 1>going you're really not addressing issues, you're not really knowing

0:51:11.160 --> 0:51:13.040
<v Speaker 1>each other. Honestly, it's just like, hey, we're here for

0:51:13.040 --> 0:51:14.520
<v Speaker 1>twenty four hours and I kind of got to do

0:51:14.520 --> 0:51:15.520
<v Speaker 1>this meeting. I do just this meeting. You going to

0:51:15.560 --> 0:51:18.520
<v Speaker 1>do dinner at five? Cool? You know, And I don't

0:51:18.520 --> 0:51:22.879
<v Speaker 1>think we really just realized that, man, this is we're opposite.

0:51:23.040 --> 0:51:24.360
<v Speaker 2>At one point on the internet, did you go, I

0:51:24.360 --> 0:51:25.800
<v Speaker 2>can't read this. I can't look at this up anymore

0:51:25.840 --> 0:51:28.440
<v Speaker 2>because one it's either not fear not true, or it's

0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:29.840
<v Speaker 2>just overwhelming for me to see.

0:51:30.120 --> 0:51:33.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I uh yeah, I thought for a while, I

0:51:33.200 --> 0:51:36.240
<v Speaker 1>went I went dark for a little bit, just because

0:51:37.880 --> 0:51:39.920
<v Speaker 1>there was there was so much that isn't true, and

0:51:39.960 --> 0:51:42.680
<v Speaker 1>there's so much that was twisted, and it was just

0:51:42.680 --> 0:51:46.480
<v Speaker 1>like out of nowhere, everybody's just like, oh, look what

0:51:46.520 --> 0:51:48.520
<v Speaker 1>he did. I'm like, well, what are you talking about? Like,

0:51:48.760 --> 0:51:51.560
<v Speaker 1>first off, none of y'all were around, you know, for

0:51:51.680 --> 0:51:55.400
<v Speaker 1>three years and you don't know anything that happened. You

0:51:55.440 --> 0:51:57.319
<v Speaker 1>just know what this headline on what she has said.

0:51:57.360 --> 0:52:03.719
<v Speaker 1>And because I don't believe in throwing shade at her

0:52:03.800 --> 0:52:05.440
<v Speaker 1>or any of that stuff. We were both learning and

0:52:05.480 --> 0:52:07.160
<v Speaker 1>growing up. And I'm not trying to ruin what she's

0:52:07.200 --> 0:52:09.200
<v Speaker 1>trying to go into. If she wants to, you know

0:52:09.280 --> 0:52:10.640
<v Speaker 1>what I mean, she gets another relation, I don't. I

0:52:10.640 --> 0:52:11.879
<v Speaker 1>don't want to ruin any of that. I don't want,

0:52:11.960 --> 0:52:13.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, I hope she has the best success and

0:52:13.719 --> 0:52:15.919
<v Speaker 1>does everything that she wants. I'm not trying to make

0:52:15.960 --> 0:52:19.840
<v Speaker 1>this this you know, beef. Yeah, between us two, Like listen,

0:52:20.239 --> 0:52:22.040
<v Speaker 1>both of us dropped the ball in a lot of ways.

0:52:22.280 --> 0:52:25.319
<v Speaker 1>And that's the truth, you know, And so we I

0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:27.879
<v Speaker 1>didn't show up after, you know, the wedding day because

0:52:27.920 --> 0:52:29.120
<v Speaker 1>by that point in time, there was a lot of

0:52:29.160 --> 0:52:30.480
<v Speaker 1>stuff that she did show up for and it was

0:52:30.480 --> 0:52:31.960
<v Speaker 1>just kind of like there's stuff that happened that day

0:52:31.960 --> 0:52:34.680
<v Speaker 1>where I was like, I'm out, you know. And and

0:52:34.840 --> 0:52:36.520
<v Speaker 1>again I never went to therapeut and never did any

0:52:36.560 --> 0:52:37.799
<v Speaker 1>of this stuff. So it was just I had all

0:52:37.800 --> 0:52:39.600
<v Speaker 1>this stuff built up, and then I think the fear

0:52:39.800 --> 0:52:43.040
<v Speaker 1>of am I repeating this process? What did I do

0:52:43.960 --> 0:52:46.200
<v Speaker 1>what about you know, and so all of that kind

0:52:46.200 --> 0:52:49.160
<v Speaker 1>of just it was a lot, man. It really took

0:52:49.200 --> 0:52:51.400
<v Speaker 1>its toll, and I think just we just didn't we

0:52:51.640 --> 0:52:55.279
<v Speaker 1>showed up at two different times. And then then to

0:52:55.719 --> 0:52:57.600
<v Speaker 1>to kind of go back to where you're asking about

0:52:57.600 --> 0:53:01.680
<v Speaker 1>the comments, I had to I had bought my tongue

0:53:01.719 --> 0:53:03.360
<v Speaker 1>a lot, man, because I was your restraint.

0:53:03.520 --> 0:53:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, top notch, just having a restraint period. Even if

0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.200
<v Speaker 2>every comment was right or wrong, I would have just

0:53:09.200 --> 0:53:10.880
<v Speaker 2>been in the mix. Yeah, it would have been completely

0:53:10.960 --> 0:53:13.319
<v Speaker 2>unhealthy and for me, and i'd have been but I'd

0:53:13.320 --> 0:53:15.719
<v Speaker 2>have been in it, and I'd made myself worse. But

0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:17.840
<v Speaker 2>you never You didn't say anything. He didn't put a

0:53:17.880 --> 0:53:20.719
<v Speaker 2>song out, you didn't get in the comments. I mean,

0:53:21.360 --> 0:53:22.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how. I don't know how you did

0:53:22.840 --> 0:53:24.439
<v Speaker 2>it if you had good people in your ear.

0:53:25.000 --> 0:53:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you know, I think a lot my management

0:53:27.560 --> 0:53:30.040
<v Speaker 1>team who was helping me a lot during that time also, Man,

0:53:30.080 --> 0:53:34.200
<v Speaker 1>I just realized too. I went home, I went to Eustless, Florida,

0:53:34.840 --> 0:53:37.680
<v Speaker 1>and stayed at my uncle and ant's house and they're

0:53:38.040 --> 0:53:40.680
<v Speaker 1>downstairs and hung with family. And it was at that

0:53:40.760 --> 0:53:42.840
<v Speaker 1>COVID time where no one was working we weren't toaring

0:53:42.880 --> 0:53:45.319
<v Speaker 1>it was. It was Florida, so it was open, you know,

0:53:45.680 --> 0:53:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Florida we were doing. Never got Florida, never got COVID

0:53:48.680 --> 0:53:52.319
<v Speaker 1>yet stopped at the Georgia line. Yeah. So dude, I

0:53:52.320 --> 0:53:56.160
<v Speaker 1>think I just got re and retouched with your roots, man,

0:53:56.200 --> 0:53:57.680
<v Speaker 1>because you know, I mean, like you were saying, we're

0:53:57.719 --> 0:53:59.799
<v Speaker 1>all over the place all the time, and it's very

0:53:59.840 --> 0:54:04.319
<v Speaker 1>easy to get disconnected. And I think I was during

0:54:04.320 --> 0:54:06.000
<v Speaker 1>that ang that that was when I started seeing some

0:54:06.000 --> 0:54:07.920
<v Speaker 1>of that anger start popping up. And then I went

0:54:08.000 --> 0:54:12.000
<v Speaker 1>from oh, you won't say that, Okay, Well now the

0:54:12.040 --> 0:54:14.080
<v Speaker 1>trailer park uses Florida kick comes out, you know, and

0:54:14.160 --> 0:54:17.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm like I'm ready to fight, and I'm like, what

0:54:17.760 --> 0:54:19.200
<v Speaker 1>do you say? You don't know anything about this, And

0:54:19.239 --> 0:54:22.000
<v Speaker 1>so I was like, I need to go home, chill

0:54:22.000 --> 0:54:24.239
<v Speaker 1>with my mom, you know, with my buddies, fish with

0:54:24.320 --> 0:54:26.400
<v Speaker 1>my cousin, just do stuff that we did and just

0:54:26.440 --> 0:54:29.480
<v Speaker 1>reconnecting and push that all away and not even not

0:54:29.560 --> 0:54:30.960
<v Speaker 1>even look at it.

0:54:30.960 --> 0:54:32.600
<v Speaker 2>It had been hard to even listen to the radio though,

0:54:32.600 --> 0:54:33.880
<v Speaker 2>because you're on all of a sudden, you hear a

0:54:33.920 --> 0:54:37.040
<v Speaker 2>song about you and you're like, mother, oh yeah, I.

0:54:37.080 --> 0:54:39.839
<v Speaker 1>Just embraced that. I just turned it up. Good for you. Yeah,

0:54:39.920 --> 0:54:41.680
<v Speaker 1>I was like, screw it up, man, let's go.

0:54:42.280 --> 0:54:44.920
<v Speaker 3>Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor.

0:54:52.440 --> 0:54:54.160
<v Speaker 3>This is the Bobby Cast.

0:54:54.400 --> 0:54:56.040
<v Speaker 2>Did you write songs that you'd never put out?

0:54:56.200 --> 0:54:58.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, there's a couple. I wrote one with my

0:54:58.200 --> 0:55:00.600
<v Speaker 1>buddy John Saderfield and John Stone that might put out

0:55:00.600 --> 0:55:03.040
<v Speaker 1>at some point, but it's not. It was mainly just honestly,

0:55:03.040 --> 0:55:06.319
<v Speaker 1>I don't I don't think I actually will. Because we

0:55:06.360 --> 0:55:07.920
<v Speaker 1>were on my bus one day and they came out

0:55:07.920 --> 0:55:11.920
<v Speaker 1>to write, and I was just like, man, because everybody

0:55:12.000 --> 0:55:13.520
<v Speaker 1>kept asking he gonna write a song, you know, just

0:55:13.560 --> 0:55:13.840
<v Speaker 1>I was like.

0:55:13.880 --> 0:55:16.560
<v Speaker 2>No, because everybody felt like they would have backed. I mean, honestly,

0:55:16.560 --> 0:55:20.640
<v Speaker 2>we're all like, yeah, wow, like he's it's going hard

0:55:20.640 --> 0:55:22.600
<v Speaker 2>on him? True, not true. We don't know. I don't

0:55:22.600 --> 0:55:25.640
<v Speaker 2>know your relationship. I don't know what happened. But it's like, god, dang,

0:55:25.680 --> 0:55:27.759
<v Speaker 2>there's like six songs in every song about you, like,

0:55:27.760 --> 0:55:29.640
<v Speaker 2>how's he not respect FONDI.

0:55:29.440 --> 0:55:30.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that was, you know, I mean I think

0:55:30.880 --> 0:55:32.600
<v Speaker 1>she could have gone a different way of that, and

0:55:32.640 --> 0:55:36.000
<v Speaker 1>I think it was you know, I think you know, also,

0:55:36.040 --> 0:55:39.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't think people realize we we both we grew

0:55:39.280 --> 0:55:41.520
<v Speaker 1>up and broken broken homes. We know people from our

0:55:41.520 --> 0:55:44.160
<v Speaker 1>hometown Sadly, in small towns, broken homes is more common

0:55:44.440 --> 0:55:48.000
<v Speaker 1>than ever. Now. I know how hard a divorce can be.

0:55:48.040 --> 0:55:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I've seen it, seen it when my parents have seen

0:55:49.600 --> 0:55:50.959
<v Speaker 1>it with buddies of mine. I got friend of mine

0:55:50.960 --> 0:55:53.520
<v Speaker 1>with four kids. He's hundreds of thousands of dollars and

0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:56.319
<v Speaker 1>still fighting. You know, in there, it's just wow, it's hell.

0:55:57.280 --> 0:56:02.200
<v Speaker 1>We didn't own anything together. We both prenups. I haven't

0:56:02.280 --> 0:56:04.080
<v Speaker 1>seen her, spoken to her in three and a half years.

0:56:05.080 --> 0:56:07.239
<v Speaker 1>I went my way, she went hers vorce paper sent

0:56:07.280 --> 0:56:09.040
<v Speaker 1>to my manager's office. I signed them, got sent to

0:56:09.080 --> 0:56:12.200
<v Speaker 1>her business manager's office. She signed them. That was it.

0:56:12.239 --> 0:56:12.800
<v Speaker 2>That's clean.

0:56:13.000 --> 0:56:15.000
<v Speaker 1>That was clean. It's c There's not this like And

0:56:15.040 --> 0:56:17.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm not downplaying anything, and I'm not downplaying Hardbury, what

0:56:17.760 --> 0:56:19.920
<v Speaker 1>anybody goes through, or any of that. But when you

0:56:20.000 --> 0:56:23.360
<v Speaker 1>look at what my problem was, why are we trying

0:56:23.360 --> 0:56:25.440
<v Speaker 1>to make a financial gain on something that is not

0:56:25.480 --> 0:56:28.320
<v Speaker 1>what is being portrayed? You know, when I see friends

0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:31.680
<v Speaker 1>of mine that have gone through hell and back, you know,

0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:34.000
<v Speaker 1>on both sides of the fence, man process of a divorce,

0:56:34.080 --> 0:56:36.080
<v Speaker 1>the process through the fighting back and forth. I'm like,

0:56:36.520 --> 0:56:39.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, yes with ours was public. Yes there is

0:56:39.040 --> 0:56:41.160
<v Speaker 1>some answers to fans, Like you said, they feel like

0:56:41.200 --> 0:56:44.400
<v Speaker 1>they needed and a we let them in, so you

0:56:44.520 --> 0:56:47.360
<v Speaker 1>got to you know. But on the on the whole thing,

0:56:47.400 --> 0:56:50.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, man, this isn't as what This isn't

0:56:50.239 --> 0:56:53.000
<v Speaker 1>what people think it was, you know, and it was

0:56:53.040 --> 0:56:54.720
<v Speaker 1>as clean as it could be. It was a breakup

0:56:54.760 --> 0:56:56.799
<v Speaker 1>with paperwork. I hate that it happened. No one gets

0:56:56.840 --> 0:56:59.880
<v Speaker 1>married to get divorced. I It's something that haunted me

0:57:00.040 --> 0:57:02.919
<v Speaker 1>for years, you know, made me mad at myself, made

0:57:02.920 --> 0:57:05.680
<v Speaker 1>me you know, you over you played things through where

0:57:05.680 --> 0:57:07.360
<v Speaker 1>I did look back and go, maybe I should have

0:57:07.360 --> 0:57:09.360
<v Speaker 1>done that different. You know, I think you have no

0:57:09.400 --> 0:57:11.839
<v Speaker 1>other choice in those situations to look in the mirror

0:57:11.840 --> 0:57:13.680
<v Speaker 1>and go, Okay, what what did I What did I

0:57:13.760 --> 0:57:14.279
<v Speaker 1>do out of this?

0:57:14.400 --> 0:57:14.440
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:57:14.800 --> 0:57:17.960
<v Speaker 1>How can I stop what I did? If what I

0:57:18.120 --> 0:57:20.200
<v Speaker 1>contributed to this? How do I not bring this into

0:57:20.200 --> 0:57:22.800
<v Speaker 1>the next and which is how it helped me get

0:57:22.800 --> 0:57:24.640
<v Speaker 1>through all of it, you know. But that was the

0:57:24.640 --> 0:57:26.480
<v Speaker 1>part that really just kind of stuck to me a lot.

0:57:26.600 --> 0:57:29.160
<v Speaker 1>Was like, man, I don't think people realize like this

0:57:29.360 --> 0:57:32.360
<v Speaker 1>wasn't this like gruesome battle. It was trying to be

0:57:32.480 --> 0:57:34.920
<v Speaker 1>forced to be something way bigger than it was, you know.

0:57:35.400 --> 0:57:37.240
<v Speaker 1>And I think too, that's why I didn't want to

0:57:37.520 --> 0:57:39.040
<v Speaker 1>add any flame to the fire. Yeah.

0:57:39.200 --> 0:57:41.000
<v Speaker 2>It's funny too, is you'll be able to help somebody

0:57:41.000 --> 0:57:43.400
<v Speaker 2>else the way Brandley called you, because I'm thinking I've

0:57:43.640 --> 0:57:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I've had a lot of contents with Branley, both in

0:57:45.800 --> 0:57:49.000
<v Speaker 2>professional settings and like, if we're playing a festival at

0:57:49.000 --> 0:57:50.800
<v Speaker 2>the same place, you just hang with people, right, And

0:57:50.840 --> 0:57:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I like Brandley a lot me too.

0:57:52.200 --> 0:57:54.600
<v Speaker 1>May it's salt of the earth. What you see is

0:57:54.600 --> 0:57:56.600
<v Speaker 1>what you get. Don't get any better, man.

0:57:56.680 --> 0:57:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Like, yeah, probably pretty scary, dude, if you want to

0:57:59.040 --> 0:58:00.760
<v Speaker 2>be scary towards you, I wouldn't, but.

0:58:00.760 --> 0:58:03.760
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't shove them in an alley, but.

0:58:02.160 --> 0:58:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Ye, but I would also if I needed something. And

0:58:04.440 --> 0:58:05.880
<v Speaker 2>Brandley and I don't talk a whole lot, but I

0:58:05.880 --> 0:58:07.560
<v Speaker 2>do feel like I've had a connection with Brandley where

0:58:07.560 --> 0:58:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I could call and be like, hey, dude, would you

0:58:09.280 --> 0:58:11.240
<v Speaker 2>help me? And he would come and help me without

0:58:11.240 --> 0:58:13.920
<v Speaker 2>it being said he did that for you. Because Brandley's

0:58:13.960 --> 0:58:14.800
<v Speaker 2>been through some crap.

0:58:14.920 --> 0:58:16.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, man, crap that he probably.

0:58:16.760 --> 0:58:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Was like if I handle that different, I would totally.

0:58:19.520 --> 0:58:21.240
<v Speaker 2>And you're doing this now, and what's going to happen

0:58:21.400 --> 0:58:23.919
<v Speaker 2>is and I'm sure of it. It's gonna come around

0:58:23.920 --> 0:58:25.640
<v Speaker 2>where you're gonna be able to do that for somebody now.

0:58:25.720 --> 0:58:25.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:58:26.360 --> 0:58:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And that's that perspective and empathy that you never

0:58:29.680 --> 0:58:31.840
<v Speaker 2>really want to sign up for that paperwork, like, I'll

0:58:31.840 --> 0:58:33.680
<v Speaker 2>have some perspective and empathy because it sucks to have

0:58:33.800 --> 0:58:35.520
<v Speaker 2>it because you had to get it through something.

0:58:35.560 --> 0:58:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I didn't have it before.

0:58:36.720 --> 0:58:39.000
<v Speaker 2>It's so valuable. Yeah, and it rounds you out as

0:58:39.000 --> 0:58:41.360
<v Speaker 2>a person. And I feel like you're like, I mean

0:58:41.400 --> 0:58:42.520
<v Speaker 2>like I'm just looking at you, but I feel like

0:58:42.560 --> 0:58:43.520
<v Speaker 2>you're like happy.

0:58:43.840 --> 0:58:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I am, man, I just feel in a good place.

0:58:45.560 --> 0:58:49.240
<v Speaker 1>I feel I've also allowed you know, I think one

0:58:49.280 --> 0:58:50.960
<v Speaker 1>of the cool things about therapy is it shows you

0:58:51.000 --> 0:58:52.720
<v Speaker 1>how to use tools when you're out of there.

0:58:52.760 --> 0:58:54.400
<v Speaker 2>What I say, like, if therapy doesn't fix you, it

0:58:54.400 --> 0:58:54.720
<v Speaker 2>just give it.

0:58:55.000 --> 0:58:56.560
<v Speaker 1>Gives you tools to understand how to do it. And

0:58:56.600 --> 0:58:59.840
<v Speaker 1>so it's allowed me to win instant before when I

0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I help myself feeling that like kind of just sitting

0:59:03.000 --> 0:59:04.800
<v Speaker 1>on the couch. I don't want to do anything. You know.

0:59:04.920 --> 0:59:06.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it's really feel sorry for yourself,

0:59:06.760 --> 0:59:10.480
<v Speaker 1>but in a way, I guess, you know, And now

0:59:10.520 --> 0:59:12.360
<v Speaker 1>I know how to stop that. Now I go, well,

0:59:12.360 --> 0:59:12.960
<v Speaker 1>what am I doing?

0:59:13.080 --> 0:59:13.240
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:59:13.280 --> 0:59:14.760
<v Speaker 1>Get up, do something, call.

0:59:14.600 --> 0:59:16.560
<v Speaker 2>Somebody, or at least have the awareness that it's happening,

0:59:16.600 --> 0:59:18.120
<v Speaker 2>or at least have the weareness to me is sometimes

0:59:18.120 --> 0:59:20.240
<v Speaker 2>I can't stop it, but I'm like, I know this

0:59:20.320 --> 0:59:22.280
<v Speaker 2>is not good. I know what's happening, and I can

0:59:22.320 --> 0:59:24.480
<v Speaker 2>say something A want and they can. She can help

0:59:24.480 --> 0:59:25.000
<v Speaker 2>me a little bit.

0:59:25.760 --> 0:59:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Man.

0:59:25.960 --> 0:59:27.760
<v Speaker 2>That's I mean, this has been a really good, like

0:59:27.800 --> 0:59:29.120
<v Speaker 2>healthy mind. This is all health and wellness.

0:59:29.160 --> 0:59:29.280
<v Speaker 3>Man.

0:59:29.360 --> 0:59:30.600
<v Speaker 1>I think we might we might have.

0:59:30.640 --> 0:59:31.600
<v Speaker 2>So this is the new show.

0:59:32.720 --> 0:59:33.320
<v Speaker 1>This is it.

0:59:33.920 --> 0:59:36.520
<v Speaker 2>Let me say this that Spirits and Demons out now

0:59:36.520 --> 0:59:39.480
<v Speaker 2>with Megan Patrick. The new EP, Dive Bars and Broken

0:59:39.520 --> 0:59:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Hearts came out in June, because we're in July, so

0:59:42.280 --> 0:59:42.880
<v Speaker 2>two weeks.

0:59:42.720 --> 0:59:43.200
<v Speaker 1>Ago, I believe.

0:59:43.280 --> 0:59:47.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So it's out. It's six tracks. You are you

0:59:47.400 --> 0:59:49.320
<v Speaker 2>on the road a lot? Now? Is it back full?

0:59:49.600 --> 0:59:52.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Yeah? Man? Yo, it's this year really feels like

0:59:52.720 --> 0:59:56.560
<v Speaker 1>it's like it's twenty nineteen, like the last couple of years.

0:59:56.600 --> 0:59:59.120
<v Speaker 1>It was obviously twenty twenty one was weird. Twenty twenty

0:59:59.200 --> 1:00:01.160
<v Speaker 1>two was more open. You kind of had some of

1:00:01.160 --> 1:00:03.320
<v Speaker 1>the places that were you know, you had a show

1:00:03.320 --> 1:00:08.240
<v Speaker 1>car whatever. But now it's Yeah, me and John Party

1:00:08.240 --> 1:00:11.960
<v Speaker 1>played Barefoot Fest I think in New Jersey and it's

1:00:12.000 --> 1:00:14.960
<v Speaker 1>like third Thursday, like twenty seven thousand people out there

1:00:14.960 --> 1:00:17.040
<v Speaker 1>on a Thursday on the beast. If we're back, Yeah, it's.

1:00:16.920 --> 1:00:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Full full till congratulations. Man. I just I don't know

1:00:20.880 --> 1:00:23.840
<v Speaker 2>a like an existence that just feels healthy.

1:00:24.000 --> 1:00:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Thank you man.

1:00:25.040 --> 1:00:28.200
<v Speaker 2>You know that's it's awesome, Like that's where it is. Yeah,

1:00:28.280 --> 1:00:30.480
<v Speaker 2>that's that's what it is. And you're gonna have songs

1:00:30.520 --> 1:00:32.200
<v Speaker 2>to go number one, and you're gonna have seasons that

1:00:32.400 --> 1:00:33.960
<v Speaker 2>you can't get anything to work, and you're gonna get

1:00:33.960 --> 1:00:36.240
<v Speaker 2>back to the number one again. Yes, seasons again. But

1:00:36.840 --> 1:00:38.480
<v Speaker 2>that ain't as much as what it's about. It is

1:00:38.600 --> 1:00:42.600
<v Speaker 2>like just that that consistency and knowing that for me,

1:00:43.000 --> 1:00:44.800
<v Speaker 2>like there's value regardless.

1:00:45.360 --> 1:00:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you know there's more. We look, we're so

1:00:47.280 --> 1:00:48.919
<v Speaker 1>fortunate to do what we love and we're passionate about

1:00:48.920 --> 1:00:51.280
<v Speaker 1>what we do what we do, but it's not who

1:00:51.360 --> 1:00:51.640
<v Speaker 1>we are.

1:00:52.040 --> 1:00:54.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I struggle with that. My identity. I really struggle

1:00:54.680 --> 1:00:57.640
<v Speaker 2>with what my identity is. Yeah, say man, I'm working

1:00:57.680 --> 1:01:01.240
<v Speaker 2>towards it. I still suck at.

1:01:00.080 --> 1:01:01.720
<v Speaker 1>He He's just making tomorrow better than today.

1:01:01.840 --> 1:01:05.800
<v Speaker 2>You guys follow Michael Ray at Michael Ray Music, Instagram, TikTok,

1:01:06.160 --> 1:01:09.240
<v Speaker 2>Michael Ray Official on TikTok, and you guys check out

1:01:09.240 --> 1:01:10.400
<v Speaker 2>the new music this is out now. Michael, good to

1:01:10.400 --> 1:01:10.800
<v Speaker 2>see buddy

1:01:10.800 --> 1:01:14.080
<v Speaker 3>You tue, Buddy, Thank you man, thanks for listening to

1:01:14.160 --> 1:01:15.480
<v Speaker 3>a Bobby Cast production