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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to STUFFE never told you production buy Heart Radio,

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Speaker 2: and today we are doing another happy hour.

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Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome.

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Speaker 2: As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're doing, responsibly,

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Speaker 2: drinking or otherwise.

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Speaker 3: What are you sleeping on, Samantha.

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Speaker 1: My diet soda. Keep it in mind. I drink water earlier,

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Speaker 1: so I'm like, Okay, I feel like I did a

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Speaker 1: good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet

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Speaker 1: soda today.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange

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Speaker 2: dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.

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Speaker 2: I also had one that was just I couldn't stop

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Speaker 2: drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.

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Speaker 2: It was very bizarreting I am drinking a summer shandy

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Speaker 2: a friend left up my apartment. Oh nice, I guess.

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Speaker 3: So hope. I hope it's good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those

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Speaker 1: way back when.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: Uh So, this episode might be coming at you a

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Speaker 2: little late because we've had a couple of on my

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Speaker 2: own technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what

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Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about I said recently, I feel

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Speaker 2: like my life is in disarray. I feel like I

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Speaker 2: have a lot of things that I've let build up

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Speaker 2: that just all around me that I have not fixed

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Speaker 2: for one reason or the other. A big one is

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Speaker 2: my car. So Antha knows about this, and my car

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Speaker 2: has been dead for two weeks now. It does not start.

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Speaker 2: I had someone come out to look at it. It seems

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Speaker 2: like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of

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Speaker 2: wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about

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Speaker 2: kind of the whole car troubles.

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Speaker 3: Joke, which for a long time has been like.

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Speaker 2: A joke about men hitting on women when their car

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Speaker 2: is broken down, and I just got to thinking about

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Speaker 2: that and all the implications they're in. So I know

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Speaker 2: I've told this story before, but when I was in

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Speaker 2: high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not

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Speaker 2: allowed in it unless there was a space after all

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Speaker 2: the men had off first.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I really wanted to do The choices were,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not joking, the choices were automotive are Dance.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do automotive No, it's comical and infuriating.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would

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Speaker 2: be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this

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Speaker 2: would be good to know. They would not let me in.

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Speaker 2: They did let in one of the women from my class,

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Speaker 2: but I hate to say it felt like she was

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Speaker 2: really sexualized.

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Speaker 3: In that class. Oh she would talk about it.

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Speaker 2: So it was like a thing where I wanted to

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Speaker 2: learn and I didn't get the chance at that time.

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Speaker 2: And then, you know, I just never had really an

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Speaker 2: opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like

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Speaker 2: that would have been a nice is that of school

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Speaker 2: I had to attend right it was there. I never

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Speaker 2: did after that, and never did get the technology the expertise.

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Speaker 3: That I wanted.

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Speaker 2: And I will say, I want to say I have

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Speaker 2: always been scared around cars. There are some reasons for

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Speaker 2: that that I've talked about before, but also I'm just

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Speaker 2: afraid of like expensive things. The car is expensive. It

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Speaker 2: makes me nervous. And this is going to sound like

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Speaker 2: way worse than it actually was. But my dad used

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Speaker 2: to ask me to pump gas. So if I needed gas,

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Speaker 2: I'd call him and he would come and he would

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Speaker 2: pump the gas. And so it just made me feel

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Speaker 2: like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: mess up this very expensive piece of equipment. So I

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Speaker 2: just have like really deep seated I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to handle a car. I don't know what to do

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Speaker 2: about it. And that being said, I want to shout

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Speaker 2: out my friend Marissa who once this was before it

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Speaker 2: was like ruined and everything, but it was like the

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Speaker 2: final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My car wouldn't start,

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Speaker 2: and she was like, no, we have to get there

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Speaker 2: on time, and she got that car start.

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Speaker 3: She knew what to do, she did everything.

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Speaker 2: So in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had

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Speaker 2: where it feels like a lot of this car stuff

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Speaker 2: is still being pretty gate.

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Speaker 3: Kept by men.

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Speaker 2: But I have plenty of examples of women in my

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Speaker 2: life that do know what they're doing are good at it,

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Speaker 2: So I just want to make that clear. Also on

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Speaker 2: the other side of that, I my ex, who was

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Speaker 2: a dude, once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew

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Speaker 2: nothing about cars when my car broke down. So it's

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Speaker 2: also like, I think, in a lot of ways a

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Speaker 2: lot of us don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, true story.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff

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Speaker 1: because of so many things i'll let go wrong. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I know what this sound is, so I learned from

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Speaker 1: my bad.

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Speaker 3: Do you feel like you could like do some basic.

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Speaker 1: Like no, Like the basic is like I know how

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Speaker 1: to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with

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Speaker 1: like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure

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Speaker 1: that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take

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Speaker 1: me forever, like forever ever if I really do have

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Speaker 1: to try this, but I remembered how to do it. One,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to change the oil filter, but

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's an easy YouTube. But I know

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Speaker 1: what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like, that's

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Speaker 1: sound like a whalebearing. I think I need to go

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Speaker 1: do this. That sounds like the alignment is off, Like

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Speaker 1: I need to go do this like stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the

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Speaker 2: guy showed up because I did call a repair service

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Speaker 2: because again it won't start so I can't get it anywhere.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I think it's bad because I recognize

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Speaker 2: this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have.

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Speaker 2: The sad thing is I used to be pretty good

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Speaker 2: at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but I used

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Speaker 2: to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've

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Speaker 2: just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,

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Speaker 2: and that's important because I never drive anymore, right, But

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Speaker 2: also just don't feel confident in it. There are a

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Speaker 2: couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,

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Speaker 2: my car doesn't move from its spot very often, so

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Speaker 2: it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.

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Speaker 2: But also there's like a guy that comes out in

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Speaker 2: my building to smoke, but he comes out and he

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Speaker 2: just hangs out, and I don't want to be out

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Speaker 2: there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at

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Speaker 2: me like mmmm. And then my landlord is like ever present,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to get involved. But it's all

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Speaker 2: these like men in.

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Speaker 3: My life that I'm like, I'm not in your life, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but they're like in my.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and

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Speaker 1: put an astrak here with the neighbor, because I have

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Speaker 1: actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I

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Speaker 1: will like it doesn't bother me as much as it

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Speaker 1: bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have a conversation with people. But

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Speaker 1: he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,

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Speaker 1: as well as smoking right on the steps, as well

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Speaker 1: as most sometimes being shortless and a little over like

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Speaker 1: he just hangs out there and like all of those

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Speaker 1: things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out of

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Speaker 1: my way, Like he just purposely stands there staring people down.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,

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Speaker 1: so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: wait for a second. And then he just sits there

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Speaker 1: and stairs.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm. He does.

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Speaker 1: Like he's a whole special conversation in itself.

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Speaker 2: It's yeah, and it's unfortunate because it has like one

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Speaker 2: of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble

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Speaker 2: letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel

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Speaker 2: super comfortable leaving my place all the time.

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Speaker 3: And part of it is what if he's there? What

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Speaker 3: if he's there and.

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Speaker 2: I've literally like gone back upstairs, I see him out there,

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Speaker 2: and to be, he's never done anything to me.

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Speaker 3: He's just like got a vibe that's not great.

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Speaker 2: So I don't want to be out trying to fix

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Speaker 2: something with my car that possibly I could fix if

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Speaker 2: he's going to be out there.

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Speaker 3: So I call in.

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Speaker 2: The service that comes to you, and it was a

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Speaker 2: guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone

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Speaker 2: was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,

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Speaker 2: and now, oh no, because he knows I can't go anywhere.

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Speaker 3: He knows that.

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Speaker 2: Two of my friends who when I was telling them,

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Speaker 2: they were like, they were just asking, oh, come, and

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Speaker 2: they were like, it kind of sounds like do you

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Speaker 2: think he was And I said, no, I don't think so,

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Speaker 2: but I don't have the best track record with that,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will be here

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Speaker 3: getting soon, so see. But then I started thinking about

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Speaker 3: that because like.

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Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of times that whole kind

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Speaker 2: of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take

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Speaker 2: automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that

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Speaker 2: we've been talking about forever about the history of women

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Speaker 2: in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,

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Speaker 2: so I'll help you in this case, like very like

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Speaker 2: heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it

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Speaker 2: is it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you,

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Speaker 2: whereas I think, I like, I used to be able

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Speaker 2: to fix a lot of these things, at least like

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Speaker 2: the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's

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Speaker 2: gotten to a point where.

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Speaker 3: I just gotta do. I feel like I have to.

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Speaker 2: Deal with this because I'm avoiding other dudes, but also

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Speaker 2: like I am scared I'll do damage to my car.

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Speaker 2: I've talked about before. I actually passed out when my

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Speaker 2: parents bought a car because I saw how much it

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Speaker 2: was and I passed out, Like I have a lot

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Speaker 2: of anxiety around how much things cost, and it does

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Speaker 2: feel kind of like.

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Speaker 3: It's out of my control.

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Speaker 2: So this also I just don't It's sad because I

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Speaker 2: also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but

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Speaker 2: I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.

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Speaker 2: And I do want a working car, that's the hoddest.

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Speaker 2: I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies

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Speaker 2: and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes

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Speaker 2: around women driving and men driving that was definitely present

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Speaker 2: in my last relationship. But this, I also feel is

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Speaker 2: changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't

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Speaker 2: really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.

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Speaker 3: But when I like when my ex and I were dating.

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Speaker 2: He was always like, I will drive and he was

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Speaker 2: not a good driver or Samantha, he was actually pretty bad.

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Speaker 3: I was a better driver than him. I feel confident

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Speaker 3: in saying.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make

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Speaker 1: sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick

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Speaker 1: really easily. So like the only times I don't really

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Speaker 1: get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,

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Speaker 1: so I can't sit a whole ride like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,

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Speaker 2: that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal

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Speaker 2: in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to

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Speaker 2: see that because I remember when the show first started

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Speaker 2: there was an episode about like why do men do

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Speaker 2: most of the driving?

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok about

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Speaker 1: a passenger princess. Yes, all over my for you page

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Speaker 1: on TikTok.

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Speaker 2: It is definitely still a thing and I would love

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Speaker 2: to hear from listeners about it, because I always hesitate

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Speaker 2: talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms of,

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Speaker 2: you know, how many times do we have to bring

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Speaker 2: this back?

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Speaker 3: But the thing is they do keep coming back.

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Speaker 2: But I would like to hear from people's other experiences.

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Speaker 2: There is something else that has been happening in recent

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Speaker 2: years where there's been a couple of examples of women

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Speaker 2: owned are women based automotive repair shops. There is there

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Speaker 2: was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.

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Speaker 1: It hasn't. They've made a big announcement to let you

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Speaker 1: know it is no longer owned by a woman, like

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Speaker 1: it has been a thing because they still kept the

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Speaker 1: logo and kept the first part of because the title

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Speaker 1: of it is literally like, my mechanic is a woman.

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Speaker 1: And so when that when that stopped, they didn't take

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Speaker 1: away the name until they finally are like, hey, a

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Speaker 1: woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: the owner. So they had to do my mechanic is

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Speaker 1: and they left that.

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Speaker 3: Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.

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Speaker 2: But there have been a couple of examples of those

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Speaker 2: kinds of things, and it's one of those things where

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Speaker 2: I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of

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Speaker 2: like the women only gyms where I get it, but

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Speaker 2: I think we should address like a larger issue. But

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Speaker 2: I do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out

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Speaker 2: several examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,

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Speaker 2: so I I do understand. But it's also sort of like,

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Speaker 2: if this is what we're doing, we might want to

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Speaker 2: ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the

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Speaker 2: car repair business is just notorious. The car business in

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Speaker 2: general is notorious for flying to people or upselling people,

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Speaker 2: or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,

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Speaker 2: but that when you go into a situation and you

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Speaker 2: feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and

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Speaker 2: I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,

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Speaker 2: it's like not a great situation. And I think that's

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Speaker 2: compounded with women because I think the view is still

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Speaker 2: women don't know what they're doing with cars, but clearly,

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Speaker 2: for a long time we've been prevented from knowing. Even

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Speaker 2: if the class you wanted to take in high school

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Speaker 2: was automotive.

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Speaker 3: And a story. Yes, so those are my car troubles.

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Speaker 2: And car troubles yeah, I just I was gonna I

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Speaker 2: titled it that because that's what like the joke always is,

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Speaker 2: as the guy comes up and he's like car troubles.

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Speaker 2: But if anyone has any thoughts about this, or if

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Speaker 2: you have any examples of these women based automotive repair shops,

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Speaker 2: your experience there, or just yeah, generally, what's the trope

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Speaker 2: the vibe of gender stereotypes around driving right now?

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Speaker 3: Please let us know.

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Speaker 2: You can email us as Stepanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia

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Speaker 2: Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff When

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Speaker 2: Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a tea

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Speaker 2: public store, and we have a book you can get

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Speaker 2: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always too our

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Speaker 2: super producer Christina, to producer My and our contributor Joey,

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Speaker 2: thank you, and thanks to you for listening. Steffan Never

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Speaker 2: Told You is production of Ihart Radio. For more podcasts

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