1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on time the strawberry let subject. 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 1: They don't make them like they used to. Dear Stephen Shirley, 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: I want your honest opinions. I'm young, and I have 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 1: a great job, my own place, and I'm happily single. 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: For now. Here's my issue. I don't think a strong, 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: independent woman should stand by a broke man or wait 7 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: for him to reach his full potential. People always say 8 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: I should not overlook a man that falls short financially, 9 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: but I prefer to remain strong because I am not 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: afraid of being alone. So many women go through the 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: emotional struggles of being with a man just to say 12 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: they have a man. So is it selfish for me 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: to live my own life and continue to pray for 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: the man that God will send to me. I understand 15 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: that men are natural hunters, so once they see what 16 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: they want, they will keep pressing for it. How do 17 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: I know that a man's intentions are genuine and he's 18 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: not looking for the come up? What if he's a 19 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: really great guy but he's living check to check. I 20 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: have been in these types of relationships before, and they 21 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: each ended up as a waste of time and energy. 22 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. I've been broke before, so I'm 23 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: not doubting anyone now that I'm doing much better and 24 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm able to take care of myself. If it's bad 25 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: that I don't settle for half a man just to 26 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: say I have a man, seems like more men are 27 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: looking for someone to take care of them. Now. I'm 28 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: not bashing all men, but what's really going on nowadays? Well, 29 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,119 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you're perfectly, of course, within your 30 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: rights to feel how you feel. You said you're not 31 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: bashing all men. You're just, you know, talking about the 32 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: kind of men that you don't want, which is a 33 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: good thing. I think you know what you do want. Uh. 34 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 1: You say you've been broke before. You're not downing anyone 35 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: you want to be with someone you don't want to settle. 36 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: I think that's perfectly fine. You shouldn't settle. You shouldn't settle. 37 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: If you're truly praying for the man that God wants 38 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: to send to you, then that's what you should be 39 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: open to. Uh. You'll know when it's a man that 40 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: God sends, God sent for you, because he'll be a 41 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: godly man. Uh. Yeah, men are natural hunters. Steve used 42 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: to talk about that on the show all the time. Uh, 43 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: but I think what you need to stay close to 44 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: is what you're praying for, is you're praying for God 45 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: to send you the man that you want. But just 46 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: make sure you're everything. You know, make sure your whole 47 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: and uh, you know, you're a good person and you're 48 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: a good woman. You have something to offer the world 49 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: and a man. Okay, don't just look for a man 50 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: to come and and make you whole. Already be whole. Okay, 51 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,639 Speaker 1: It's okay for you to be strong and independent and 52 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: all of that stuff. Just you know, if you're really 53 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: praying for God to send you a man, just wait 54 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: for that, all right, Steve, Well, this is a weird 55 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: letter because she's saying a couple of things. Uh. First 56 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: of all, I wish I knew how old she was, 57 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 1: because this has a lot to do with it. Now. 58 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: You know, if you don't think that a strong, independent 59 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: woman should stand by a broke man or wait for 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: him to reach his full potential, then you feel that way. 61 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: But let me say tell you something you're saying a 62 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: broke man. You said you've been in relationships with people 63 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: who live check to check. Let me say something to you. 64 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:23,839 Speaker 1: The majority of people are living check to check. That's 65 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,959 Speaker 1: a financial fact. Check to check don't mean you're broke. 66 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: It means you're in a situation where in three checks 67 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: you could be completely out. Well, most people live that 68 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: way until they pull it together. If you're looking for 69 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: a man that's already made, what you haven't said directly 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: in this letter, but what appears to me that you've 71 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: said in this letter that you want somebody that's already made, 72 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: then get in line, because that line is gonna be long. 73 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: And if you're young, there are men who are in 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: the building process. It takes men uh some time to 75 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: pull themselves together. It just does a man that's in 76 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: their twenties. It's gonna be hard to find a guy 77 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 1: that has it together in his twenties. It's going to 78 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: be hard because that's the learning phase of life. So, ma'am, 79 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: you've said quite a lot in this letter. Now, is 80 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: it true to some men are looking to be taken 81 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: care of? Yep, yep, that's true. They're easy to spot 82 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: because they're looking to be taken care of. They don't 83 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: want to pay for the dinners, They don't want to 84 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: pay to take you out. They ain't looking to sponsor 85 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: no trips. They're looking at Okay, what you know, what 86 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: are you talking about now? For guys living check to 87 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,720 Speaker 1: check and trips ain't really available right now maybe once 88 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: a year. But he's doing everything else he can that 89 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: and do. Then you might have a good prospect that 90 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: you're passing on because he's not made yet men who 91 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: have means. Just because a man got money don't make 92 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: him a good man. Oh true? Oh did I just 93 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: say that just because a man got money don't make 94 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: him a good man. So now you can pass up 95 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: on these other men who may have better qualities and 96 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: less funds, and go for the funds and get the 97 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: less quality man. Also, you said you're asking God to 98 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 1: send you a man if that's the case, wants the 99 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: letter fall. See this is how read letters. As Shelley's 100 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: right about several things. She said it in her comment 101 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: to you about it. Now, look, you you can be 102 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: by yourself? What who really want to be by their self? Though? 103 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: I mean, let's just have an honest converse. Put your 104 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: hand down. Other than his bitter as evil, distraught old ass, 105 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: don't know, ran over used and abused guy like that. 106 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: Other than that who don't want to be alone. Everybody 107 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: wants somebody. Then you say, how do I know that 108 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: the man's intentions are genuine and he's not looking for 109 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: the come up? Like I told you, it's easy, he 110 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: gonna want a lot of stuff. What if he's a 111 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: really great guy but he's living check to check. If 112 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: I were you, I was signed up for that because 113 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: that really great guy hard to come by. He ain't 114 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: gonna always be living check to check. Now, great guys 115 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:58,559 Speaker 1: turned it around eventually. Great guys become great men, become 116 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: great father, has become great husband. Money don't determine none 117 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: of that. Am I preaching today? Yes, you are a man, 118 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: a man, amen, and you can preach the more Part 119 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: two of your sermon coming up. Come on, let's get 120 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: to part two of your response to today's strawberry letter. 121 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: They don't make them like they used to. You know, 122 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: I was talking about this young lady who sayings too 123 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: many contradictory things in her letter about coming up. She's 124 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: talking about, uh, you know, majority of people living check 125 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: the check, some me and are looking to be taking care. Uh. 126 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: I told her to the man that has money, don't 127 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: make him a good man. Uh, you're gonna have to 128 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 1: would should out take a man who's living check the check? 129 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: But it has great qualities. Yeah, because he's on the 130 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: come up. It takes a long time for men to 131 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: get it together. And on the break, I was reading 132 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: another line. She said that was quite contradictory. She said, 133 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, I've been broke before, so I'm 134 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: not downing anyone. Okay, you got that line. Surely, don't 135 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: get me wrong. I've been broke before, so I'm not 136 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: downing anyone. Then she said, now that I'm doing much 137 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: better and I'm able to take care of myself, here's 138 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: the contradiction. Is it bad if I don't settle for 139 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: a half a man just to say I have a man? Now? 140 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 1: You just said you've been broke before, so you're not 141 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: down in anyone. Now you're telling me because if a 142 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: man don't have his finances together, that he's half a man. Sister, 143 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: let me, let me, let me let me help you 144 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: understand something. You are setting yourself up for contradictory life. 145 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: A man's money has nothing to do with his level 146 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: of manhood. Some of the best men I know and 147 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: have known in my life have far less than I 148 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: have right now, but I have the utmost respect for them, 149 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: love and admiration. I am constantly in a quest to 150 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 1: become my father all day. I'm just trying to be 151 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: slick Harvey, That's all. I'm trying to be the hardest 152 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: working man I ever knew, the best husband, and the 153 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: best father I've ever seen. This dude was there. He 154 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: didn't miss a beat. He didn't miss a beat. That's 155 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: all I'm trying to be. My dad ain't had a 156 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: tenth of the money I got, but he's the best 157 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,079 Speaker 1: example a man who that I ever saw. So, Sister, 158 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: I think you're wrong, and I think you got to 159 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: make an attitude adjustment. Now you're saying something in the 160 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: letter about um, so is it selfish for me to 161 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: live my own life and continue to pray for the 162 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: man that God will send to me. Suppose God sends 163 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: you this really great man who's living check to check. 164 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: That's the church man man again, because I just can't 165 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: knock these cats that don't have it financially together. Because 166 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 1: I gotta tell you something, I was once that I 167 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: was that dude. I lived in a car for three years. Man. 168 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure man, I met a couple of girls 169 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: while I lived in a car. They ain't see the potential. 170 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: I ain't blame him, and she wouldn't have been in 171 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: there with you for sure. Oh no, man, I ain't 172 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: asked nobody to come get in this car with me. 173 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't a good catch, but I hung 174 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: in there. I just kept hanging in there. These men 175 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,079 Speaker 1: gonna eventually get it together. Good men become good husbands, 176 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,719 Speaker 1: become good fathers. You gotta miss out on a good 177 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: husband and a good father because he don't have a 178 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: good check right now. But if he working and got 179 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: a plan and putting it together, that's called potential. And yeah, 180 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: you should marry potential, And yeah you should hook up 181 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: with potential because y'all can build something together. Everybody would 182 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: love to meet Mr rich Man and go on and 183 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: get their life made right off. But THEMN them numbers 184 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: is few. So listen to me, ladies. It is already 185 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: hard to find a good man. Now you're gonna narrow 186 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: the search to a good rich man. What why that 187 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 1: only five percent? Here's a rate? Okay? Can I preach now? Yes, sir, 188 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: five percent of people make ninetent of the money in 189 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: the world. Five percent make nine pcent of the world. 190 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: So now you want what you cannot be looking for 191 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: one of them five percenters. You know what kind of 192 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: options they got? Fat to shop? Do you understand me? 193 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 1: They're shopping how they want to shop. They got options. 194 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: Don't put yourself in that position. Find you a good 195 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: man with some great potential, and y'all going and build 196 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: a life together. Stop looking for these rich dudes, because 197 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: you ain't the only one. That line is long, and 198 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: they take advantage of the long lines. They interview a 199 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: lot of people, yes, and they're not that long. Thank 200 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: you for the Strawberry Letter. If you have a letter 201 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: or condition or situation that you would like some help with, 202 00:12:54,600 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 1: please send it to Steve Harvey dot com dot Steve 203 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: Harvey FM dot com and we could be reading, dissecting, 204 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 1: and helping your life. All We could make a complete 205 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: marckery of your letter, just like yesterday. Yeah, yesterday it 206 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: was a mockery letter. Today with some serious help right 207 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 1: here for women in needs. Thank you very much. Those 208 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: are my remarks of the Strawberry Letter to you're listening 209 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: to the Stry Morning Show.