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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. It's The Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson.

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Speaker 2: Lena Calzajeroni you got it right, See That's told You

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Speaker 2: is a certified life and empowerment coach and teacher of

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Speaker 2: modern spirituality, mindset, and manifestation. After transitioning from her career

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Speaker 2: as an attorney to pursuing her passion in twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 2: Lena has found her purpose of helping all who are

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Speaker 2: seeking more happiness and fulfillment. Hi, Lena, thank you for

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Speaker 2: being here.

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Speaker 3: Of course, thank you for having me. I'm so excited

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Speaker 3: me too.

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Speaker 2: I love this topic. We're going to get to in

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Speaker 2: just a second. But I saw a post on your

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Speaker 2: Instagram and it said the first thing you want to

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Speaker 2: know when you meet other people is just their story.

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Speaker 2: And I'm exactly the same. It's the first thing I

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Speaker 2: want to know. I want to know why they move

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Speaker 2: the way they move, like why they think the way

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Speaker 2: they think. And as I mentioned earlier, you were previously

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Speaker 2: a lawyer, which we just found out. We have a

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Speaker 2: Louisiana connection where you to school down in Louisiana. But

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Speaker 2: at the time that you were a lawyer, you were

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Speaker 2: six years into a relationship and had just bought a

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Speaker 2: house with your ex. So on paper, things looked amazing,

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Speaker 2: But I want to know what is the real story.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, you just came right out of the gates.

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Speaker 2: I'm here, I'm here.

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Speaker 3: Let's go put that on my Instagram. Yes, yes, So

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Speaker 3: the real story is I think it happens to many

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Speaker 3: of us. We get into a relationship in our early

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Speaker 3: twenties at an age where we don't really know ourselves fully.

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Speaker 3: Lots of us get into a relationship early and we

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Speaker 3: don't really know ourselves at that age, or at least

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Speaker 3: I didn't. And over the years I began to get

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Speaker 3: into like personal growth work and just trying to like

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Speaker 3: learn about myself and what I really want. And I

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Speaker 3: got in this whole journey of like self explos and

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Speaker 3: the more I found out about myself and what I

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Speaker 3: wanted in my life and in my business and in

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Speaker 3: my love, I came to the realization over time that

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Speaker 3: the person I was with was and this sounds mean,

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Speaker 3: but it wasn't actually what I truly wanted. Yeah, it

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Speaker 3: wasn't the dynamic that I wanted. It wasn't the type

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Speaker 3: of partner that I could eventually see myself with. Although

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Speaker 3: there was a lot of love, it was beautiful in

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Speaker 3: so many ways. There were fundamental things that were at odds,

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Speaker 3: spiritual beliefs, career beliefs, things we wanted for our future,

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Speaker 3: and that became clear over time. And it was a

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Speaker 3: hard decision because he was a wonderful person and we

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Speaker 3: weren't having like tons of trouble by any means, but

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Speaker 3: in my heart I knew that it wasn't the person

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Speaker 3: that I really wanted to marry. And he proposed to me,

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Speaker 3: and I actually kind of forced the proposal. It was

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Speaker 3: a stage where I'm like, Okay, it's been six years

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Speaker 3: and everyone around me is getting married. What does this

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Speaker 3: mean about us, Like it's got to happen by the

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Speaker 3: end of this year or it's out. We're out, We're done.

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Speaker 3: And looking back, it's such a silly thing to do,

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Speaker 3: but I think a lot of people do that because

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Speaker 3: there's pressure, and I thought that that was the right thing.

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Speaker 3: I was just doing my best at the time. And

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Speaker 3: when he proposed on the last day of the year,

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Speaker 3: like I gave him toward the end of the year.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, He's like December thirty first.

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Speaker 3: Literally December thirty first, Oh my god. And I knew

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Speaker 3: what was happening, and it none of it felt right.

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Speaker 3: As soon as he proposed, I had this like sinking

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Speaker 3: feeling in my stomach and I was trying to kind

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Speaker 3: of put on a happy face. It just I in

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Speaker 3: my heart, I didn't I knew it wasn't right. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So it took about a year for me to get

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Speaker 3: the courage to call it off. I took a lot

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Speaker 3: of time to figure out, like, am I just mad

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Speaker 3: at him? Am I focusing on the wrong things? Am

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Speaker 3: I expecting too much? Is this? Am I throwing something away? Like?

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Speaker 3: I had to navigate all that talk within myself. And

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Speaker 3: then after getting a lot of help from coaches and

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Speaker 3: psychics and healers, and I went down this whole thing.

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Speaker 3: I really did come to find out that that's how

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Speaker 3: I felt that it wasn't my right person. And no

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Speaker 3: matter what the case was, I knew that I wanted

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Speaker 3: to be one hundred percent certain that this was the

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Speaker 3: person that I wanted to marry, and I knew I

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Speaker 3: didn't feel one hundred percent that way at all. So

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Speaker 3: I had the difficult conversation and called things off. It

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Speaker 3: surprisingly went as peaceful as it could, and then we

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Speaker 3: split up. We kind of went to directions. He went

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Speaker 3: on his path. I went online, and that's that's not story.

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Speaker 3: That's a story.

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Speaker 2: So at the time we mentioned too you were a lawyer,

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Speaker 2: and like, I love that when we tell these stories

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Speaker 2: in hindsight, it's sort of like the version you just gave,

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Speaker 2: which is the pretty picture I mean, And I just

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Speaker 2: know there was so much messiness in all of that.

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Speaker 2: So what would you tell listeners? Because I think what

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Speaker 2: you say or what you're saying is so relatable, Like

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Speaker 2: I've been in a very similar situation with an engagement

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Speaker 2: and all of that as well, but just that knowing

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Speaker 2: inside of us that like something doesn't feel right. So

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Speaker 2: like when you had the difficult conversation and all of that,

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Speaker 2: what then happens next?

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Speaker 3: I also want to say this, The reason I tell

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Speaker 3: the story in this lens of it all ended up

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Speaker 3: fine and kind of not going into the hard part

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Speaker 3: is that I want anybody listening to know that the

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Speaker 3: hard parts end up fine.

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Speaker 2: Okay, tell us now, are what do you mean?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: There were so many different emotions and so many different

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Speaker 3: fears after the conversation. Even though I felt at peace

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Speaker 3: during the conversation, I all of the gamut of emotions

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Speaker 3: came up for me after I was crying incessantly, like

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Speaker 3: I had to break away from my dog that we

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Speaker 3: had bought together. There was just all these things and

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Speaker 3: it wasn't I never mean to say that it was

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Speaker 3: just so easy and it was effortless, and it wasn't

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Speaker 3: challenging on the heart because it was. But at the

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Speaker 3: end of the day, everything worked out well, and looking back,

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Speaker 3: it was a very guided experience. Like I let him

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Speaker 3: stay in the house, I moved out and in with

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Speaker 3: a friend the household right away. We were able to

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Speaker 3: divide up our things very easily. So all the typical

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Speaker 3: things that people are afraid of when going through a separation,

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Speaker 3: like the finances are going to be so bad and

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Speaker 3: what are we going to do? All of those had solutions. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Totally, which that to me is always when you know

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Speaker 2: this is the right thing, this is a guided step,

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Speaker 2: like you said, Yeah, Well, when we first were talking

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Speaker 2: about having you on the podcast, we talked about the

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Speaker 2: topic this much month, which is housekeeping, and I want

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Speaker 2: to mention it and then we'll circle back to it

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Speaker 2: in a minute. But I think that housekeeping is really

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Speaker 2: interesting to think about within our relationships and within the

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Speaker 2: love topic. And everyone you know talks about wanting this

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Speaker 2: soulmate topic, but we don't necessarily always talk about the

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Speaker 2: housekeeping within ourselves that needs to go on to get

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Speaker 2: to the next place. And so even the story you're

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Speaker 2: just telling, it's kind of the first step into that. Possibly,

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Speaker 2: how do you think that that ties into, like that

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Speaker 2: journey you went on with actually owning your truth and

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Speaker 2: stepping into that reality, Like, how was that housekeeping essential

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Speaker 2: for your next steps that you took?

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Speaker 3: Do you mean that? Well, first of all, you said

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Speaker 3: that so beautifully, and I do think everything to find

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Speaker 3: the soulmate kind of relationship that we're talking about that

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Speaker 3: people want so badly, it does take housekeeping. It does

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Speaker 3: take looking within, It does take letting go of a

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Speaker 3: bunch of things which I think we're going to get into.

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Speaker 3: But you're right, the very first step is getting clear

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Speaker 3: on exactly what's really important to you, what you want

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Speaker 3: in a person, what you want for yourself, and what

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Speaker 3: you want for your relationship and life together. A lot

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Speaker 3: of people when they teach love, they focus just on

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Speaker 3: what kind of person do you want. However, you can

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Speaker 3: find a person who's everything on a sheet of paper.

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Speaker 3: But if you don't feel loved, safe, supported, seeing, if

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Speaker 3: it's not the relationship that you want, the life style

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Speaker 3: that you want, then it's not actually a match. There's

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Speaker 3: so many other components other than just a great, amazing person.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so it's.

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Speaker 3: Getting clear on that and then getting the courage enough,

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Speaker 3: courage working up the courage enough to let go of

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Speaker 3: what is not that.

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Speaker 2: M I literally this is so bizarre. But I had

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Speaker 2: this conversation this morning with a friend of mine and

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Speaker 2: she called me and she's dating, you know, she's on

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Speaker 2: the apps, and so you're always kind of like dabbling

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Speaker 2: with a couple different people at the same time at

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Speaker 2: the beginning. And she has two guys that she's dating,

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Speaker 2: and one of the guys is great on paper and

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Speaker 2: is all the things that I think she feels like

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Speaker 2: she should really want, you know, And so it's interesting

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Speaker 2: to watch that versus this other guy who maybe doesn't

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Speaker 2: have everything on paper, but she feels a heart connection with.

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Speaker 2: And it was interesting for me to listen to her stories. Me,

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Speaker 2: you just don't like the guy that's good on paper,

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Speaker 2: like it's very obvious, but the ways that we try

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Speaker 2: to talk ourselves into liking that because of the way

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Speaker 2: it looks like the shoulting that we do just all

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Speaker 2: over ourselves.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, we all do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy.

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Speaker 3: It takes a lot of introspection, and it takes you know.

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Speaker 3: That's why third parties are helpful, and not any third party,

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Speaker 3: like not every friend or friends in bad relationships, or

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Speaker 3: your parents or your siblings. Like a friend who is

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Speaker 3: like minded, a friend who has similar values, someone who's

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Speaker 3: in a relationship, a coach, a mentor like that third

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Speaker 3: party person you can trust is very helpful to helping

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Speaker 3: you see things that you can't see. Like that was

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Speaker 3: a part of my journey too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, we're going to get into a little bit

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Speaker 2: of how to manifest that and how to do that,

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Speaker 2: but I wanted to start with just I loved your

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Speaker 2: definition of manifest station in general, because I find that

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Speaker 2: to be a word that scares a lot of people

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Speaker 2: away because I think they imagine you like chanting and

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Speaker 2: like holding crystals and doing all this weird stuff. And

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Speaker 2: I mean I actually do do some of that stuff,

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Speaker 2: but it doesn't have to look as woo woo, maybe

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Speaker 2: as some may think. So can you just start with

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Speaker 2: telling the listeners what is manifestation? Yes?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, Manifestation to me is deciding that you want to

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Speaker 3: be an active creator of your life. That there's certain

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Speaker 3: things that you want in your life and you're going

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Speaker 3: to put in energy, action, intention to manifest those things.

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Speaker 3: So it's just creating the different things that you want

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Speaker 3: in your life, whether it's career, relationships, friendships, body wellbeing.

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Speaker 3: It's choosing what you want and then pursuing it.

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Speaker 2: So it's literally just tapping into your truth is essentially.

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Speaker 3: What I hear and doing something about it.

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Speaker 2: And then takes the action step exactly, but like the

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Speaker 2: next right step right, Like, it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 2: this huge, big thing where you leave everything in your

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Speaker 2: life and you're like starting something completely new.

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Speaker 3: Correct. Everything is like one step at a time, Okay,

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Speaker 3: And I think manifestation, to me, it goes beyond just

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Speaker 3: an action step because we are powerful. Our thoughts are

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Speaker 3: very powerful, our beliefs are powerful, our subconscious beliefs are powerful,

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Speaker 3: and they guide us to make different decisions and take

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Speaker 3: different actions. So to me, manifesting is using what we

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Speaker 3: know about the power of our mind to help that

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Speaker 3: help us in bringing things to life.

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Speaker 2: I know that you were you're trained, and it's I

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Speaker 2: think that I'm pronouncing this right. Neuro linguistic programming, which

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Speaker 2: for those listening, the definition is it's a science based

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Speaker 2: body of work around mindset, communication, and IMpower power based

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Speaker 2: on the premise that your thoughts influence and shape, influence

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Speaker 2: and shape your reality. So that's basically what you just described, right, Yes,

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Speaker 2: So how does this kind of programming play into manifestation?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so all right. One example is all of us

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Speaker 3: have different conscious thoughts, right, Like, we can kind of

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Speaker 3: be aware of what's going on in our minds and

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Speaker 3: what our self talk is like around any topic. So

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Speaker 3: taking love for an example, if you sat and paid

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Speaker 3: attention to it, you could probably notice your normal thoughts

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Speaker 3: around love, like dating is hard, dating is frustrating, it's

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Speaker 3: hard to find someone, apps suck like the inner conversation

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Speaker 3: or your conscious thoughts.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's very.

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Speaker 3: Important because that landscape of your thoughts very much dictates

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Speaker 3: your life experience. If you're constantly living life through the

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Speaker 3: lens that dating is hard, men can't be trusted, then

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Speaker 3: that's gonna permeate your life and change what you see

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Speaker 3: and what you experience. So it's important to be aware

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Speaker 3: of your inner thoughts and start changing them into more positive,

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Speaker 3: constructive things that will help you reach your goal.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's so true because like I say this all

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Speaker 2: the time, but one of the narratives a lot of

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Speaker 2: my friends have is there are no good men in

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Speaker 2: Nashville's the worst.

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Speaker 3: That's health cleaning. How yes, because it shapes I mean,

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Speaker 3: NLP will tell you, and I won't get into the

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Speaker 3: science because it's not fun or it's fun to me,

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Speaker 3: but like, yeah, normal people, it's it affects how you

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Speaker 3: perceive the world, and how you perceive the world is

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Speaker 3: affects the actions you take and what you see and

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Speaker 3: what you attract, and whether or not you believe the

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Speaker 3: wo wu aspect of it or the scientific aspect of

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Speaker 3: it is based on fact. Like what you believe, what

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Speaker 3: you say to yourself changes your experience.

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Speaker 2: I one hundred percent believe that because the second I

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Speaker 2: just like I got to a place in my dating life,

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Speaker 2: in my relationship life where I had to change my

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Speaker 2: mentality about men because I was drawing in the same

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Speaker 2: kind of men though and obviously there was a lot

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Speaker 2: of inner work I needed to do on myself as well.

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Speaker 2: But one of the things that I refuse to do

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Speaker 2: now is specifically when those friends will say there's no

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Speaker 2: good there are no good men in Nashville, and I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: you're like literally making that true, because the second you

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Speaker 2: say it over and over and over, it's like our

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Speaker 2: brains have this capacity to make everything we believe true

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Speaker 2: so true, and they just so they they're constantly bringing

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Speaker 2: in these men that do validate that exactly, which sounds crazy,

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Speaker 2: but it's real.

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Speaker 3: And think about like, for anybody that made me feel

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Speaker 3: like has a tent around this. Take athletes for example.

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Speaker 3: I think that's the easiest example to use. Like my husband,

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Speaker 3: for example, loves golf. Okay, I can tell if some

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Speaker 3: if he has a bad day or he starts off bad,

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Speaker 3: if his thinking is like I'm not going to hit this,

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Speaker 3: this sucks, this is the worst, it's going to completely

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Speaker 3: affect his ability to focus, his ability to perform right.

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Speaker 3: So athletes, Olympic athletes are trained to practice what they

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Speaker 3: want to happen, like.

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Speaker 2: Bad picturing winning a gold medal or something.

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Speaker 3: Visualizing you know, an Olympic athlete or an NFL player

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Speaker 3: is not going to be like today's game is going

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Speaker 3: to suck. There's no chance we're going to win today.

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Speaker 3: Bad like that would never happen. Not only use their words,

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Speaker 3: but they use their mind, and they visualize themselves winning.

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Speaker 3: They visualize themselves reaching the goal because it creates a

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Speaker 3: patterns in your brain, and those patterns are carried out

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Speaker 3: in real life.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so we have to change our narratives. That's

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Speaker 2: one thing. Everything that that feels like major housekeeping right there, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: But let's dive into the love topic because I was

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Speaker 2: thinking about it when I was prepping for this podcast,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, the thing that we get the

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Speaker 2: most emails about on this podcast are love and relationship

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Speaker 2: questions like period the end. That seems to be the

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Speaker 2: common theme in every person's life in some capacity, whether

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Speaker 2: you're in a relationship or not. So let's just, I

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Speaker 2: don't know, let's just dive into how do we manifest

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Speaker 2: this kind of love? That's just such a big question,

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Speaker 2: So take it as you want, but how do we

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Speaker 2: manifest this soulmate kind of love? And feel free to

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Speaker 2: tell us your story as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, so, as you said, I think there's

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Speaker 3: look I know that you can we're we can manifest

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Speaker 3: a person. Like if I wrote down ten things I

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Speaker 3: wanted to see in a guy, I could manifest those

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Speaker 3: ten things. But about soulmate love, it's not just manifesting

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Speaker 3: a person who has some of what you want. It's

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Speaker 3: doing the inner works so you can manifest the person

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Speaker 3: like the deep connection, the real thing, not just a

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Speaker 3: person who checks boxes, like the real deal. That's soul

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Speaker 3: deep love. And so that takes a little bit of

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Speaker 3: inner work. That takes I wrote down eight things, do

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Speaker 3: you want me to give you?

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Speaker 2: Eight things we would love?

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Speaker 3: The eight things are more housekeeping. These are more things

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Speaker 3: to let go of and so just to get the

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Speaker 3: wheels turning. And you don't have to fully let go

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Speaker 3: or be perfect, or be fearless or be completely healed

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Speaker 3: in order to be in position for your soulmate. But

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Speaker 3: these are things to work on while you're single, so

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Speaker 3: that you're in the best possible place to attract the

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Speaker 3: best fit and have the best chance of a relationship

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Speaker 3: driving after. So these are the things that I've Okay, okay,

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Speaker 3: so letting go. We're in the topic of letting go.

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Speaker 3: So first of all, I think it's really important to

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Speaker 3: let go of the past and forgive anybody that needs

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Speaker 3: to be forgiven in the past. I know a lot

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Speaker 3: of people bring to the table anger, bitterness. Oh my

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Speaker 3: ex was like this. They just bring this stuff to

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Speaker 3: the table, and everybody has histories. But it's about making

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Speaker 3: a conscious choice to one identify like where am I

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Speaker 3: holding on to the past? And two how can I

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Speaker 3: consciously decide to just let that go?

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Speaker 2: But that makes it sound really easy.

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Speaker 3: What if it is?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean?

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Speaker 3: What if it is?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: What if it is easier than we think? Because everything

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Speaker 3: starts with the decision, right, Like say, if I'm try

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Speaker 3: trying to stop the habit of eating candy, Like first

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Speaker 3: I have to make the decision like Okay, this is

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Speaker 3: not good for me and this is why, and then

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Speaker 3: I have to make that decision over and over and

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Speaker 3: over again. But it starts with a choice, right, So

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Speaker 3: we have to make an initial choice. I want to

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Speaker 3: let go of the pass and that already sets you

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Speaker 3: in a different direction.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So if you have a toxic relationship pass, if

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Speaker 2: you got cheated on, if you hate men, if you

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Speaker 2: hate women, if you all of those things. We got

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Speaker 2: to just decide I am going to let go of

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Speaker 2: that narrative.

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Speaker 3: And just do your best to let it go. Okay,

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Speaker 3: just be aware that letting it go is helpful and

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Speaker 3: that right doesn't have to be perfect. Doesn't mean you

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Speaker 3: can't ever think about it again, but try to let

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Speaker 3: it go.

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Speaker 2: So when it comes back up, what do you Is

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Speaker 2: there something we can say to ourselves, like.

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Speaker 3: I forgive, If it's about something someone did to you,

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Speaker 3: I forgive. Maybe you have to forgive yourself for some

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Speaker 3: heed it in the past. Maybe, So it's it's kind

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Speaker 3: of like forgiving and healing and one letting go and

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Speaker 3: one it's like identifying things that you haven't I know

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Speaker 3: plenty of people who have past relationships where they were

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Speaker 3: cheated on and they're still talking about it to this day. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're still bringing the past into the present moment. And

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Speaker 3: you know, like as we just discussed, whatever you focus on,

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Speaker 3: you're going to keep creating. So likely we've got to

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Speaker 3: be willing to let the past stay in the past.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that was me for sure, And like

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Speaker 2: before this last season, I feel like I had been

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Speaker 2: cheated on in a major way. And I just could

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Speaker 2: not fully let it go because the fear felt so

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Speaker 2: big that it would happen again, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I can't go through that pain again. I can't go

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Speaker 2: through that pain again. But you know what happened is

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Speaker 2: that kept I kept bringing in people who were like that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then I finally have gotten to the place where

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Speaker 2: I've let that go and I'm in a different kind

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Speaker 2: of relationship. I mean, people are who knows what the

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Speaker 2: future will hold, but like right now, I don't feel

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Speaker 2: that fear anymore because I've decided like that was the past,

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Speaker 2: that isn't the present.

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Speaker 3: Perfect.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're already Okay, you're house cleaning, house cleaning. What's

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Speaker 2: number two?

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Speaker 3: Number two? So these are some of the things that

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Speaker 3: we just talked about. And it's two and three go together.

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Speaker 3: So okay, the thought world, the mindset world, So your

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Speaker 3: conscious thoughts. So what are those things that you're saying

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Speaker 3: to your friends, those things that you're thinking over and

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Speaker 3: over that are about yourself, that are about men or

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Speaker 3: women in general, or are about relationships so negative limited thinking,

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Speaker 3: They're exactly what we said. There's no good men. It's

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Speaker 3: hard to find men. Yeah, dating it's terrible. Apps are

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Speaker 3: so bad. This is so hard for me. I'm not

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Speaker 3: good at love. So you can talk about men or women.

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Speaker 3: You could talk about yourself for you could talk about

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Speaker 3: relationships are hard? Relationships take away from you. No relationships

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Speaker 3: last every min cheat like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, I always hear the one too. Girls

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Speaker 2: are crazy. This is the one that I hear from

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Speaker 2: any for any men listening. All girls are crazy. I'm

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Speaker 2: going to be alone forever. That's another one I've heard

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Speaker 2: a lot from people. Okay, so when it is left,

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, everyone's already married. Okay, So we have those

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Speaker 2: we have to let them. We have to lay them down.

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Speaker 3: To let them know we're cleaning house. They don't serve

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Speaker 3: you. You can let them go. Literally they do nothing.

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Speaker 2: So if we're having that, though, like, what is something

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Speaker 2: we could shift the focus to be, Because if you

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Speaker 2: let something go, you have an open space, right, So

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Speaker 2: then what do we do? What do we shift it

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Speaker 2: to be?

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Speaker 3: That's where like affirmation and mantra work comes. Okay, I

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Speaker 3: have and this is not a shameless plug for my

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Speaker 3: my course, but I do like also.

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Speaker 2: The place for shameless plugs though, honestly, let it.

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Speaker 3: Fly I do I teach all of this, But that's

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Speaker 3: a great question, because that's it does need to be

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Speaker 3: filled up. And so what I teach is to quite

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Speaker 3: literally list out all of the negative beliefs about ourselves,

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Speaker 3: men and women and relationships, and then you come up

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Speaker 3: with something for each one that is going to replace it.

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Speaker 3: That's more part. So for example, there's no good men

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Speaker 3: out there. There are and by the way, your mantra,

438
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: your affirmation, you might have to practice it until it's true,

439
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 3: Like you might have to play with it before you

440
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 3: actually believe it. And that's okay, change Like, there's plenty

441
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:53,159
Speaker 3: of amazing men out there. Okay, dating is hard, dating

442
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 3: is actually fun. Yeah, you have to say these things

443
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 3: and then it'll become true. So at the beginning it's

444
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 3: a little uncomfort. Is that a lie? But like yeah,

445
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 3: but bullshit a lot right now. But you have to

446
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 3: just like you'd use you'd practice a new language or

447
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 3: learn a new language, you have to solidify this new

448
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,360
Speaker 3: pattern of thinking that's going to be way more helpful

449
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 3: for you. Yeah, okay, so I'm not great at love,

450
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 3: Like it's easy for.

451
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: Me to be in relationships like that one.

452
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, love is normal and natural. We're meant to be

453
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 3: in relationship. Like people also make finding your soulmate or

454
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 3: getting married like this super rare thing. And I think

455
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: it's bullshit. I believe that we're like like even in

456
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 3: the Bible, we're biblically like we're meant to be together

457
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 3: found for this, yes, you know, like yeah, like fighting

458
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 3: to find love and blah blah blah. What if that's bullshit?

459
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 3: And what if it's actually like easy and normal and natural.

460
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 2: Love that because we do make it so difficult and

461
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 2: then we kind of like live in a fairy tale

462
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 2: land of what it would look like versus actually accepting this.

463
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: Like you're saying that love can be fun or like

464
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 2: dating can be fun, all of these things. I can

465
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: have everything I want. It's natural.

466
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 3: It's natural to be. If you desire a partnership like that,

467
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 3: that's natural. It's love is how we were. We came

468
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 3: into this world like love relationships again like in the Bible,

469
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: adam any like, it's right, we're meant to do life together.

470
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 2: Inspired for connections.

471
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 3: Want that and that's fine, But if you want it,

472
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 3: then understand that it's a natural thing of life. Like

473
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: this is the way it's supposed to be.

474
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be hard, okay, Okay.

475
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: What conscious thoughts?

476
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: Conscious thoughts? Yeah, the laying down the past and conscious thoughts. Okay.

477
00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 3: Then there's also the category of sub conscious thoughts. So like,

478
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 3: these are the things that you don't really hear yourself saying,

479
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: and you have to dig a little bit to find

480
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 3: out where they are. But they're usually from this like

481
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 3: deep placed within you. That's like I'm not enough for love.

482
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: Like if you peel back the layers, like what am

483
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,239
Speaker 3: I actually afraid of? What am I actually? What am

484
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 3: I actually afraid of? Is the primary question, And if

485
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 3: you peel it back and keep asking yourself, you find

486
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 3: out that like most of us are deeply afraid to

487
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: be alone, we're afraid we're not enough. And it normally

488
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 3: boils down to like a couple core deep beliefs and

489
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 3: we're not the difference between the consciousness we're not saying

490
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 3: in our head walking around being like oh I'm not enough,

491
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 3: like right, are not on our conscious day to day thinking.

492
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: It's somewhere deep within us. And these are common human

493
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 3: fears that everyone on the planet has.

494
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that point because I think a lot

495
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 2: of times when we're dealing with love and relationships specifically,

496
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: we feel like we can feel like we're on an island.

497
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: Like you said this one earlier, I'm not good at relationships,

498
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 2: and so it can often feel just really like isolating

499
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 2: or what is the word, where it's like you like

500
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 2: you're not unique, and that that love has provided pain

501
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 2: and joy like it's you know, we all. I think

502
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: that's why this is the topic we get the most

503
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 2: emails about, because this is the one connected piece that

504
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 2: we genuinely all seen us want.

505
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and especially after the pandemic, I think people's values

506
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: adjusted and we realize how important human connection and companionship

507
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 3: and doing life with your person is.

508
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. It seems to definitely

509
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: have shifted with the isolation of the pandemic. So okay,

510
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: what's next? Okay, I love all these tips after that.

511
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: So these are this is feelings category. So we were

512
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: in like the mental world, and now we're in the

513
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 2: feelings category. And this way, and honestly, any for anyone listening,

514
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 2: if you find yourself doing any of these things, do

515
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: not feel bad about it.

516
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 3: Don't shame yourself for it because you didn't know any better.

517
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 3: Up to this point, all of us are walking around

518
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 3: doing these things and this is kind of, I feel

519
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 3: like a novel way to approach love. So like, literally,

520
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 3: don't worry if you've done these things. But so the

521
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 3: feelings part is letting go of dominant feelings, not just

522
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: like every once in a while, but if your dominant

523
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: feelings are bitterness, jealousy, anger, fear, distrust, like all of

524
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 3: those negative feelings, if that's kind of the cloud around you,

525
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 3: it's going to be very hard to attract love because

526
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 3: for someone to be for love to come to you,

527
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 3: you kind of have to be in love, Like you

528
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 3: have to be feeling good. You have to be in

529
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 3: love with yourself, in love with your life, and love

530
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 3: with your friends, and love with your coffee in the morning,

531
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 3: like you have to That energy around you attracts love,

532
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 3: and so so many people are just frustrated with it,

533
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 3: and I get it, but it doesn't attract love. To

534
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 3: be in the energy of constant frustration, bitterness, negativity. It's

535
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: just not helpful.

536
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's is that why they say the thing about

537
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: you have to love yourself first, that I think we

538
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: all get kind of sick of hearing, Like you can't

539
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: love someone else until you love yourself first. But the

540
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: way you just described it, I'm hearing that it's about

541
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: kind of making your life something that revolves around love

542
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: in general, loving your job, just being happy on your own.

543
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, absolutely absolutely, and being in the and being

544
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 3: you know. A lot of this is taking responsibility and

545
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: it's not an easy pill to swallow. But the truth

546
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 3: is that we're all in control of how we feel.

547
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 3: And I know feelings pop up from time to time,

548
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 3: but we do have the ability to say, Okay, today

549
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna feel happy, like, yeah, I don't care shit

550
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 3: goes down. I'm going to choose to see things differently.

551
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 3: I'm going to choose to keep my you know, thoughts

552
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 3: positive like I'm going to choose to be happy. I'm

553
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 3: going to focus on what's good. I'm not going to

554
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 3: focus on the issues. So we have a choice in

555
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: how we feel. Right on people to know that you

556
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 3: really can let go of feeling bitter all the time

557
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 3: or pissed all the time.

558
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 4: You know.

559
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that You're making it to me. When

560
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: I hear something's my choice, it's like, oh right. Like

561
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 2: the other mentality is a very victim like mentality and this.

562
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 2: You know, a lot of times we are victimized in life,

563
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: and there's things that happen. But the things that I

564
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: know have kept me stuck in the past is feeling

565
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: like I couldn't do anything about that or that happened

566
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 2: to me, and it's like I have no choice. And

567
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: so when you look at it from the perspective of

568
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 2: I get to choose how I feel, even that's taking

569
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: your power back.

570
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: It is it's the most liberating thing in the world.

571
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 3: And again, like it is so much about your relationship

572
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 3: with yourself, Like what you attract really is a mirror

573
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 3: to the relationship you have with yourself. And the better

574
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 3: you feel about yourself, the better you feel about life,

575
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 3: the kinder you are to yourself, you're going to attract

576
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 3: someone who's on that same vibration, you know.

577
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean I experienced it where I didn't

578
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: And I don't know if you relate to this at all,

579
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: but like in the past, I would have these relationships

580
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 2: where I was spoken to in certain ways and they

581
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 2: were negative and I just thought, God, why do I

582
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 2: keep dating assholes? But the truth was the way they

583
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: were talking to me was actually how I was talking

584
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 2: to myself.

585
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 3: Oof.

586
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 2: I mean it's you know, and like until I could

587
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: change what I believed about myself to be true, I

588
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 2: was still going to date that same guy like over

589
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 2: and over and over. And actually it was in my

590
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: friendships too.

591
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 3: Yeah that's a whole word you just said. Yeah, that's

592
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 3: like a that's like a book. Someone should write a book. Yeah,

593
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 3: it's so true, And that's why I'm we're talking about

594
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 3: like the inner work that you do. It just can

595
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 3: you imagine how it feels to let go of these

596
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 3: things and take your power back and the person that

597
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:39,239
Speaker 3: you can attract from that space versus the person that

598
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 3: you can attract from someone who's holding onto all this garbage.

599
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, totally different people. So it's very important to

600
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 3: do this kind of work.

601
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, did we get through our list? Was that eight? Oh?

602
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 2: What else do we have? So we have?

603
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 3: Okay, So this next one is it's so the how, Okay,

604
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: how you think it's supposed to happen. Okay, so the how,

605
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 3: how you think it's supposed to happen. Who you think

606
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 3: it's going to be like, what you think it's going

607
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 3: to look like, and how you think it's going to happen.

608
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 3: So I actually learned a crazy lesson on this. Okay,

609
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 3: I thought for a millionayears that because I was single

610
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 3: for three and a half years between this X and

611
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: my husband get and I getting together, there was three

612
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,720
Speaker 3: and a half years where I was doing this stuff.

613
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 3: I was in the weeds, I was dating negative. I

614
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 3: had to fix it. I had to fix every single

615
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 3: one of these things that we're talking about. But so

616
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: the how I had this picture of how I thought

617
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: it was going to be. I thought it was going

618
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 3: to be someone walked into the room and there was

619
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 3: this electric thing and all these synchronicities and all these things.

620
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 3: I had this idea of how it was going to unfold.

621
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 3: And I think it's important to dream about things and

622
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 3: know what you want. But that's holding things a little

623
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 3: too tightly and closing you off to a number of

624
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 3: other possible ways it can happen. Yeah, a lot of people,

625
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 3: I know a lot of people. Ninety nine percent of

626
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 3: people don't want to be on apps, right. They don't

627
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 3: think that's how they're going to meet their husband. However,

628
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: I coach so many incredible, conscious, crazy successful men around

629
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: love and they're all on apps because they don't know

630
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 3: where else to be, so I know that there's people there,

631
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 3: you know, so being willing to let go of tight

632
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 3: rules around exactly how you think it has.

633
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 2: To happen and who right and who?

634
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 3: So I thought that So my husband is. I thought

635
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 3: that I was going to have someone with an accent,

636
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 3: international from another country, this like passionate person that they

637
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,919
Speaker 3: were going to be in I never I also said

638
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 3: that I would never be with an attorney, with a doctor,

639
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 3: with anything like that. That was just in my mind.

640
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 3: I had made up this rule, okay, which cut off

641
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 3: a whole like that's a lot of men. Yeah, oh right,

642
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 3: Why I was cutting myself short. My husband is from Atlanta, Georgia,

643
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 3: like a Southern boy, which if you ask me, Lena,

644
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 3: use your intuition, have strong intuition, predict who do you

645
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 3: think are going to be with? Never in a million

646
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 3: years what I have said, A southern a Southern guy

647
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 3: like I just have never been attracted as it's just

648
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 3: wasn't but not what I thought it was going to be.

649
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 3: And he's an attorney. But I had all these preconceived

650
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 3: things about you know, if they're an attorney, then they're

651
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 3: X y Z. Then they are boring and they do this.

652
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 3: They don't have freedom, they don't have flexibility. Turns out

653
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: my husband has his own firm. He has all the

654
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 3: flexibility in the world. He has. He's everything that I want, right,

655
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 3: But I be willing to hold a mirror up and

656
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 3: be like, where am I? What am I doing here?

657
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 3: Where am I myself? Why do I have these rules?

658
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 3: Why can it not be on an app? Why can

659
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 3: it not be someone from this app? You know, like,

660
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 3: what is this shit? And so letting go of who

661
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 3: you think it's going to be and how you think

662
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: it's going to happen.

663
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 2: Well, I'm so glad that you brought up your husband

664
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 2: because what we didn't talk about before we started these

665
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 2: eight things was the reason that I even contacted you

666
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 2: initially about doing this specific topic, was that our mutual

667
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 2: friend said, oh my gosh, I have to introduce you

668
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 2: to my friend. She is in what I would describe

669
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 2: as like the goals type relationship in that you guys

670
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 2: are literally sole connected and just genuinely happy, which I

671
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: think is something we don't see very often, which is

672
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 2: very sad to say, but I do think that that's true.

673
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: So not only are you a coach, but you're speaking

674
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 2: from your personal experience of having the on paper success.

675
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 2: I'm doing air quotes right now. I want to say

676
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 2: that to actually finding the genuine, sole connection.

677
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, and thank you for saying that, and thank you

678
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 3: to Amanda's the most incredible compliment, and it's incredible to

679
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 3: be in. It's a world of difference from every single

680
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 3: other relationship I've ever had, and it is everything that

681
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 3: I want. And of course we have fights and we

682
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 3: and we're both lawyers, so like we can argue. Yeah,

683
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 3: no one wants to throw in the towel in the argument,

684
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 3: but right, but the love is so real and so genuine,

685
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 3: and the connection is so real and so genuine, and

686
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 3: it feels how I've always wanted it to feel. So

687
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 3: it's it's worth it. It's worth it. Yeah, it's worth exploring

688
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 3: these things because it really does make such a difference.

689
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 2: When I think you're just a testament to you said

690
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 2: I had on paper. I was then I broke up

691
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 2: with him living all of these eight things. Have we

692
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 2: made it through the eight? I lost count, so I'm like, oh,

693
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,839
Speaker 2: we have three more? Okay, great, So I love that

694
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 2: we have made it through five. But of these eight things,

695
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 2: like to know that you were living it helps me

696
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 2: even because it's like I like to see the tangible thing,

697
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,800
Speaker 2: the things that are going to give me the outcome.

698
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 2: And so let's get back to our list. Then with that,

699
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 2: all of that said, because with those five things, I

700
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 2: think those are all doable for all of us. But

701
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: what's next on the list doable?

702
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 3: So this is connected to the last one. But this

703
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 3: is so all of us have a list, right, like

704
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 3: we all have a list of what we want in

705
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 3: our person. And again for anyone listening, I highly encourage

706
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 3: three lists. The list about the person, a list for yourself,

707
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 3: how you want to feel in the relationship. Okay, a

708
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 3: list of your like what your relationship is like, your dynamic,

709
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 3: and your lifestyle together. Because if we're manifesting like we

710
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,840
Speaker 3: might as well manifest everything that we want the full picture,

711
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 3: and that is more than just the guy the girl.

712
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 3: You know, it's your life together. What do you want

713
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 3: that to be like?

714
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: So your life together? I like that you also said

715
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 2: how you feel in the relationship because to me, that's

716
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 2: the game changer.

717
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 3: Huge, scene, adored, cherish, loved, respected, prioritized. I feel safe,

718
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 3: I feel like in love, you know, like what is

719
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 3: your experience? Like the person is wonderful, but that's like

720
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 3: a third of it, Like what's your experience?

721
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 2: Okay?

722
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: Anyways, the letting go part was letting go of the

723
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:28,240
Speaker 3: things on your list that are ego based not heart based,

724
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: meaning he has to be in this field of work,

725
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 3: he's got to be tall, he has to be X

726
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 3: y Z, he has to be all of these things.

727
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: I would just review your list and make sure that

728
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 3: it's aligned to what you truly in your heart and

729
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:49,359
Speaker 3: soul want, okay, and across anything that's like you can

730
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 3: try to choose, Okay, I want him to have be

731
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 3: six ' five and blah blah blah, Like you can try,

732
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 3: but I would really comb your list and just double

733
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 3: check your list and ask yourself, is this actually what

734
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 3: my heart really wants? And also make sure the list

735
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 3: is not what your mom wants you to have, your

736
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 3: dad wants you to have what your family says, So

737
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 3: go through your requirements and make sure the requirements are

738
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 3: actually true to your heart. Okay, and it's like all

739
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 3: the ones that aren't.

740
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 2: So I love that you said ego versus heart, So

741
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: ego is what we would want on the outside, the

742
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 2: things that you were saying, the good on paper, all

743
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: of those things, the not the lawyer, not the doctor

744
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 2: or whatever, all of that.

745
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 3: I think people should think more generally, Like I want attraction. Okay,

746
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 3: so if I'm really attracted to someone, does it really

747
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 3: matter the color of his hair? Like I want chemistry,

748
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 3: I want like this sexual connection, Like ask for that

749
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 3: rather than ask for these superficial things. Ask for the

750
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: core of.

751
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 2: What you want. Yeah. Yeah, especially because I think when

752
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 2: we're making if we're in this place in our life,

753
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 2: I would image and you haven't found the soulmate kind

754
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 2: of love that you're looking for. And so that just

755
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 2: proves the point of maybe you just don't know, like

756
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 2: you know, like we attached to these things, and it's

757
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 2: like why I have a friend who attaches to you.

758
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 2: He has to drive a truck. She just really attracted it.

759
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 3: But why, Yeah, like does your because you're gonna not

760
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 3: see your brain is so powerful that you could have

761
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 3: this is what happened to me. An amazing person right

762
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 3: in front of you who meets everything that your heart

763
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 3: wants and your soul wants. But because you're stuck on

764
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 3: a truck or a career like, you're not seeing this

765
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 3: person right, And I have to say this. I am

766
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 3: not saying settle on anything. However, isn't it more important

767
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 3: if you're thinking in the career world, Okay, he's an

768
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 3: attorney or not a doctor. Isn't it more important that

769
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 3: he's doing what he loves, happy in his work, successful

770
00:42:55,320 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 3: in his work, amazing reputation, financially empowered, and lucrative career Like,

771
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 3: think of the more core desires you have?

772
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 2: Okay, can you give us an example, Like if people

773
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 2: are listening and they're like, but like, what, what would

774
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 2: you say?

775
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 3: Well, like, what are things to put on your list?

776
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,959
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like what maybe? What were some of the things

777
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 2: that you've focused on?

778
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean, like, so in the career what I did?

779
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,919
Speaker 3: I break this shit down?

780
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 2: I went through.

781
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 3: A list for the person that I wanted, and I

782
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 3: went into the aspects of his life. What do I

783
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: want him to be like in the realm of his career,

784
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 3: What do I want him to be like in the

785
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 3: realm of his friendships, What do I want him to

786
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 3: be like in the realm of his well being, of

787
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 3: his family, of his spirituality? And I kind of went

788
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 3: through all of those areas But to answer your question,

789
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 3: what was more important to me in my future husband's

790
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 3: career was that he was incredibly successful at what he does.

791
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 3: He's incredibly happy with what he does. He has an

792
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 3: amazing reputation. He's generous, he cares about others, he works hard,

793
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 3: has a great work ethic. He finds time to be

794
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,879
Speaker 3: with his family. He makes time for me every day.

795
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 3: He takes care of himself. He like all of these general.

796
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 4: Things, Okay, and that does make your things yeah, wow,

797
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 4: I'm trying to Yeah.

798
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: And then you that's so interesting though, because I think

799
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 2: it's like we could talk, we could be like, oh,

800
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: it's never going to be that specific and some of

801
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: the things, like you said, the truck, the job, the

802
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 2: specific of the job may not be the thing. But

803
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 2: to have all those other things line up because you've

804
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: said I have everything I want, Yeah, that's crazy.

805
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 3: For the person who says the truck, maybe instead that

806
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 3: they could write like, has a car that I'm obsessed with?

807
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 3: Has been obsessed with? Because what if he has like

808
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 3: a sick maserati are we like turning right exactly? Like

809
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 3: an what if there are things that you might love

810
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 3: that you've never experience and you don't know that you

811
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 3: love yet, right.

812
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: I love that point because that's what I'm saying about,

813
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 2: we just don't know yet, Like, yeah, whatever we've done,

814
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 2: if you're making these lists, it hasn't been working, like

815
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 2: and if I always have a friend who's like, how's

816
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 2: that working for you? And I'm like, right, it's not,

817
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 2: like okay, so maybe we just don't know yet.

818
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 3: May it could be the tiniest weak. So I think

819
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 3: what's more important is those poor elements. Okay, so letting

820
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 3: all of all the things that are like it doesn't

821
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 3: really matter.

822
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, two more.

823
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:39,400
Speaker 3: Okay, so this one is probably unexpected, but it's actually

824
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 3: literal house cleaning. So really think about I love FUNCTUEI

825
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 3: have you heard OFO?

826
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

827
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

828
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 3: I think the energy of your environment really matters. And

829
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 3: so if you're single for a long time, you might

830
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 3: get really used to your home being like not so

831
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 3: welcoming if someone comes over or not like ready and prepared.

832
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: So I think to make sure your environment is clear

833
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 3: and clean and ready, like if you met your person

834
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 3: tomorrow and he like wanted to come over for a date,

835
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 3: like are there beers in the fridge? Is your you know, like,

836
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 3: are you physically environmentally like ready to welcome a person

837
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:18,280
Speaker 3: into your life?

838
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 2: Okay, actually, yeah, I think that point is great because

839
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 2: I mean I will say, like there's certain spots in

840
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,439
Speaker 2: my house that maybe I wasn't as organized or whatever.

841
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 2: And then the first time my current boyfriend came over,

842
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, so you start like

843
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 2: you kind of just like start going through all the

844
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 2: drawers and the like closets, and I just did want

845
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 2: my house to be a little more ready and in order.

846
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 2: That's a great way to say it, and kind of

847
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,919
Speaker 2: like free of clutter or whatever it was, especially from

848
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 2: my past, and that helped. Yeah, clutter is clutter and

849
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: flow are opposites, right, and so okay, do you think

850
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 2: clutter in your mind, clutter in your space, flutter in

851
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 2: your I think kind of constricts the flow. And like

852
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 2: it's not to say that if if your apartments a mess,

853
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,720
Speaker 2: your home's a mess, and your person comes over there,

854
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 2: like it's going to be fine either way. But I

855
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,760
Speaker 2: think what's most important is in the act of getting

856
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 2: your home ready, getting your space ready, getting yourself ready.

857
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 3: It's communicating that you're preparing for this person. It's it's

858
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 3: the message you're putting out that conveys I believe this

859
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,799
Speaker 3: person's coming. I value myself in my space. I want

860
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: to be my best self for this person, and I'm

861
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 3: moving accordingly.

862
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like an inviting energy versus a stagnant like

863
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 2: let's see, yeah.

864
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 3: It's never going to come, or like maybe not deciding

865
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 3: to keep up with your appearances and maybe like and

866
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 3: I've been in this space letting some of that go

867
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 3: because I don't have someone right now. It's not going

868
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 3: to matter. I'll care about my appearances when this person comes.

869
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 3: But energetically, if you start preparing and start loving on

870
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 3: your and caring about how you feel and taking care

871
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 3: of yourself, that puts out this message of self love

872
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 3: of I'm preparing for this relationship and I know that

873
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:10,760
Speaker 3: it's coming.

874
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, love that our last one.

875
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 3: This is pretty general, but it's just being willing to

876
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 3: let go of general doubts, fears, disbelief, and just general

877
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 3: negativity over your love life in general. And I think

878
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: a really great way to remedy that. Because I know

879
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 3: you said that it's hard to find good relationships or

880
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 3: there's not many examples, but I think it's so important

881
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 3: because in the journey of finding love, there's inevitably going

882
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 3: to be times where nothing is happening, nothing is changing,

883
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 3: there's no one in sight, and you fall into old

884
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 3: patterns of it's not going to happen for me, just

885
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 3: this doubt, fear, disbelief in general, and so I think

886
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 3: it's so important to overcome that in an important way

887
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 3: is to surround yourself with examples, whether it's people you

888
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 3: follow online or books you read about love, or just

889
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 3: stories like podcasts like this, like positive stories about love

890
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 3: to give yourself hope and fate and just helping you

891
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:24,359
Speaker 3: navigate the process in as happy, hopeful kind of way

892
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: as possible.

893
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's the same thing about letting go of

894
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 2: old narratives in some ways, like you're just letting it

895
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 2: go of those old ideas that relationships never work, they're

896
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,280
Speaker 2: all bad, they all end in pain, all of that kind.

897
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 3: Of stuff, and the feel like just the fear, just

898
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 3: the disbelief, just the doubt, just the lack just starting

899
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 3: to really start expecting it and start having a positive

900
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 3: mentality across the board of your love life and what's

901
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:53,319
Speaker 3: out there for you.

902
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's general, Well, you are the founder of a

903
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: spiritual wellness retreat company called Sulcation, and I wanted to

904
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 2: mention this because I love this idea. Can you tell

905
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:06,320
Speaker 2: us a little bit about Sulcation.

906
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 3: Yes, this is my favorite thing in the world for

907
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 3: my amazing private clients. I started this in twenty sixteen,

908
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 3: and honestly, it was very connected to this story because

909
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:21,399
Speaker 3: I was contemplating leaving the relationship and I was living

910
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 3: in close proximity with him, and I had all these

911
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 3: voices from other people in my ear and I needed

912
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 3: to get away from that because I wanted to get clear.

913
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 3: So I came up with this idea of this retreat

914
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 3: because I was also learning amazing things about manifesting, and

915
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 3: I just was craving a weekend away with friends where

916
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 3: I was taking care of myself. I was not parting

917
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 3: my ass out like I wanted to get clear. I

918
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 3: wanted to hear myself. I wanted to hear my intuition

919
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 3: and do so in like a good environment. So I

920
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 3: designed a retreat and I did it in Florida, and

921
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,319
Speaker 3: then it was so much fun that I started doing

922
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 3: them into Loom and I've done like ten eleven into

923
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 3: Loom since then they're incredible. They are They've taken on

924
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 3: a life of their own. They like. I just it

925
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 3: gives people time to step away, think about what they

926
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 3: want and call that into their life. Because we're so

927
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 3: damn busy. It's very hard to create space to hear yourself,

928
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 3: like dream up what you really want?

929
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I love that you. Yeah, wanted to

930
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 2: loomb is beautiful. But also just the idea of getting quiet,

931
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 2: I think is so scary. So if you're doing it

932
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 2: with others, it might be a little more inviting.

933
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 3: You know, and I gut it, I got it. You

934
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 3: just show up and it does involve you know, different

935
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 3: healing things like sound healing or Paul cleansing, ceremony, just

936
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 3: different things that are out of the norm that do

937
00:51:56,520 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 3: work and do change your energy and do leave you

938
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 3: a different version of yourself after, a better version of yourself.

939
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 3: After like you're refreshed, you're clear, you're motivated, you're like happy.

940
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:13,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Well, if people are interested in soulcation,

941
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 2: are any of the other things you do, where can

942
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: I find you?

943
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 3: I would just reach out to me on Instagram. I

944
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 3: think that's a very beast place I really respond to

945
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:29,280
Speaker 3: every DM, I can send information on the retreat, on courses, classes, coaching,

946
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 3: all the things.

947
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: That I do to help, And what is your handle?

948
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 3: Lane?

949
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 4: You know what, I'll just put it in a description

950
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,720
Speaker 4: of this underscore Caltageroni.

951
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 2: Yes, and I will put that in this podcast so

952
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 2: you guys can know how to spoil our last note,

953
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 2: I forgot it was your full name.

954
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 3: Just pick that link. Okay, guys, Lena, thank.

955
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 2: You so much for being here. It was so fun

956
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 2: meeting you. And I love these topics because I actually

957
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: am seeing them happen in my life so I can.

958
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 2: I'm also just like, yes, this is true, this works,

959
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: This is actually real stuff.

960
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:09,240
Speaker 3: It works.

961
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it does work. Thank you guys so much for listening.

962
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson,

963
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a

964
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty,

965
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:28,839
Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.