Speaker 1: Amy Robach gave birth to her youngest daughter, Analyse, on
Speaker 1: May tenth, two thousand and six. Now this month, August
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, Amy Robach is going to drive
Speaker 1: that same baby, now eighteen years old, to the airport,
Speaker 1: put that baby on a plane, and send that baby
Speaker 1: off to college in Europe. And at that point, it's
Speaker 1: likely Robock will experience what millions of parents experience every
Speaker 1: single year, feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression. It's something called
Speaker 1: empty nest syndrome. Meanwhile, I'll be back at the house,
Speaker 1: turning Analice's bedroom into a home office. And with that,
Speaker 1: welcome everybody to this episode of Amy and Tza. You
Speaker 1: knew I wasn't going to come on. That's not how
Speaker 1: I was supposed to go. No, no, no, no. Now
Speaker 1: this is fun, This is renewal, this is exciting. Everybody's
Speaker 1: getting a new chapter. But tell me this, babe, when
Speaker 1: was the last time you lived alone?
Speaker 2: I only lived alone for ten months and it was
Speaker 2: when I was twenty two years old. That is the
Speaker 2: last time I have lived alone.
Speaker 1: Wait, in life, your entire life only lived by yourself.
Speaker 2: At twenty, when I went to my first job at
Speaker 2: WCBD TV two Action News. I moved into my sad
Speaker 2: little apartment on Palmetto Boulevard, and I had ten months
Speaker 2: until Analisa's dad moved in while we were engaged before
Speaker 2: we got married.
Speaker 1: Wow, ten months to think. Okay, so let's let's talk
Speaker 1: to everybody about what we're talking about here. That Yes,
Speaker 1: your daughter, who is sitting in studio with us now
Speaker 1: and Alicia, baby eighteen, is about to go to college
Speaker 1: and it's a very texciting time for her, but for
Speaker 1: you and a bunch of other parents, this is a
Speaker 1: very difficult time of transition. And even though empty nest
Speaker 1: syndrome we were saying is not a clinical diagnosed.
Speaker 2: It's not a medical diet, yes, but.
Speaker 1: It's a real thing, a phenomenon.
Speaker 2: We should call it, yes, And I think I have
Speaker 2: been scared about it for the last year. Yeah, I've
Speaker 2: been nervous, like letting go.
Speaker 1: What are you nervous about? I'm asking that genuinely.
Speaker 2: And they do say that women are disproportionately affected than men,
Speaker 2: But I think.
Speaker 1: They say we're not emotionally prepared. We're just we're not
Speaker 1: emotionally mature enough to handle it.
Speaker 3: I think, especially with the trajectory of my life. And
Speaker 3: the one thing that's stayed the same, the one thing
Speaker 3: that's never wavered, is my relationship with my children.
Speaker 4: Like I have never.
Speaker 3: All the ins and outs and ups and downs with life,
Speaker 3: that love was the one constant in my life that
Speaker 3: never changed.
Speaker 2: And so it's not going to change. But the location,
Speaker 2: the logistics, that is what's going to change. And that
Speaker 2: is hard to let go of.
Speaker 3: Because your purpose, of course is to live a full
Speaker 3: and exciting life.
Speaker 2: But a big part of that purpose.
Speaker 3: When you're a mom is making sure your kids are
Speaker 3: okay and making sure they have what they need and
Speaker 3: that they you know, when you have to let them just.
Speaker 2: Go off in the world. You have to let go.
Speaker 2: And that's hard.
Speaker 3: And I'll be fine and I'll get there, but I
Speaker 3: have been I have not been looking forward to this.
Speaker 1: Well, if it's any relief, the statistics show you'll get
Speaker 1: over it really soon.
Speaker 2: Because I laugh because I was looking at that too.
Speaker 2: They said sometimes it takes a couple of weeks. Yep,
Speaker 2: in some cases it does take a couple months. My
Speaker 2: mom will tell you it took her about two years.
Speaker 2: She really has been honest about that. But hilariously.
Speaker 3: I saw on the flip side, some parents report feeling relief.
Speaker 2: And then guilt because they feel relieved. But there's a
Speaker 2: whole new way of operating when you don't have to
Speaker 2: worry or think about or just be constantly monitoring your children.
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, you have all this time back mentally, physically, logistically,
Speaker 2: and it can be great, but it's a big change.
Speaker 1: You h you talked about all the sad stuff, and
Speaker 1: then you listed all these things that sound like you're
Speaker 1: looking forward to later.
Speaker 4: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm just laughing that I saw some people immediately feel really.
Speaker 1: And others don't. But look, everybody listening here. You've if
Speaker 1: you've listened to at least two of these previous episodes,
Speaker 1: you've heard Analyst's name because we're constantly talking about the girls. Analyst,
Speaker 1: Eva and Sabine there are always here and by our side.
Speaker 1: But Analyse is actually in the studio with us, now,
Speaker 1: only a couple of days away from getting on a
Speaker 1: plane and starting her college journey. Can I ask, before
Speaker 1: we're getting into anything, Analyse, I was watching as your
Speaker 1: mom is sitting here you and I wait, I don't
Speaker 1: want to say we're unemotional people. But Mom is sitting
Speaker 1: here crying and we're just taking it in there it is,
Speaker 1: that's the way to put it. But what do you
Speaker 1: what are you thinking and feeling hearing your mom? I
Speaker 1: mean we're ten seconds into the podcast and she's already
Speaker 1: crying about leaving.
Speaker 4: I mean there's been a lot of chairs already, eight months,
Speaker 4: in the past few weeks, in the past few days.
Speaker 4: But I mean, I'm sad, definitely, but I'm not I'm
Speaker 4: not crying as much because I think I'll cry when
Speaker 4: I get there. I'm excited. I don't know, but I'm
Speaker 4: sad for you, but I think you'll have a good time.
Speaker 2: We'll see. And I don't want to put the guilt
Speaker 2: of that on you, because I was telling you my
Speaker 2: mom was a wreck when I went to school, and
Speaker 2: I remember being.
Speaker 4: You're still going to be a wreck.
Speaker 2: Of course I am, And I'm not hiding it very
Speaker 2: well at all. I remember being mad at her for
Speaker 2: not hiding it better because I didn't want to feel
Speaker 2: guilty about leaving her, and I thought, I'm never going
Speaker 2: to do that, And here I am doing it, and
Speaker 2: it's not like anyone's doing it to someone. It's just
Speaker 2: it's a sign of love and it's a part of
Speaker 2: the process, you know, And for me, I come by
Speaker 2: it naturally obviously, like this was my mom. My grandmother
Speaker 2: was like this. We we love hard and it's hard
Speaker 2: to like go unless you.
Speaker 1: Feel any guilt. You are any way. You want to
Speaker 1: comfort your mom out of what we've seen in over
Speaker 1: the past couple of weeks. Do you feel that at all?
Speaker 4: I don't feel guilty. Good, But yeah, I don't. I don't.
Speaker 4: But because I'm excited for you. I think this is
Speaker 4: in a chapter and I think it will be fun.
Speaker 4: You have many things to look forward to.
Speaker 2: That's very sweet. What are you most excited about, m.
Speaker 4: I'd definitely say new experiences, new friends. I love all
Speaker 4: my friends, don't get me wrong, but I think just
Speaker 4: like new characters in my life, and especially in Boulder, hiking, skiing,
Speaker 4: all the outdoor activities. Living in New York, you don't
Speaker 4: really do that as much, so that will be exciting.
Speaker 4: Classes picking my own classes is very fun. Never done that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get some you get some autonomy. We were
Speaker 2: talking we took the train up the w train up here,
Speaker 2: and we were saying, I was saying to you, this
Speaker 2: is going to be the like you've had a few
Speaker 2: tastes of freedom, but you're gonna act actually have this
Speaker 2: moment where you think, oh my god, Yeah, I can
Speaker 2: get up when I want to, I can go to
Speaker 2: bed when I want to, I can stay out as
Speaker 2: late as I want. I can do and eat and
Speaker 2: be whoever whatever I want. And that is a really
Speaker 2: cool that moment when you're like, I am free and
Speaker 2: you don't have a lot of responsibilities, at least financial
Speaker 2: ones right now.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, this is it.
Speaker 1: You know, and we can you. I'll let you tell
Speaker 1: everybody you're you're going to be enrolled. You are in
Speaker 1: rolled now at University of Colorado at Boulder, but you
Speaker 1: get to spend your first semester elsewhere. I'll let you
Speaker 1: tell what's about to happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm going to Spain for my first semester, which
Speaker 4: will definitely be a culture shock for me. I've spent
Speaker 4: some time in Europe, so hopefully it won't be too scary.
Speaker 4: But that's yeah, that's only for September to December, so
Speaker 4: don't be there for that long. But that will be
Speaker 4: a fun little transition to my first semester in college
Speaker 4: and then I go to Boulder.
Speaker 2: And you say you were feeling a little bit of
Speaker 2: anxiety because although it's super cool to get to go
Speaker 2: to Seville or Sabilla, however you want to say it,
Speaker 2: in Spain, you'll basically be going to Boulder in this
Speaker 2: spring semester, and you were a little concerned that maybe
Speaker 2: you'll be catching up or they'll be clicks already formed.
Speaker 2: So there's some anxiety. Like you're always anticipating, you know,
Speaker 2: what's going to happen next. So have you been able
Speaker 2: to just focus on right here, right now today instead
Speaker 2: of thinking, oh, no, what's going to happen next semester?
Speaker 2: Don't we all do that and just psych ourselves out?
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm trying to focus on the present right now
Speaker 4: and not the future because I will technically be a
Speaker 4: transfer student even though I'm enrolled. But like people will
Speaker 4: look at me as like, oh, she's coming and she
Speaker 4: hated her school first semester, Like until I explain it,
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just feel like, I mean, I
Speaker 4: haven't really been the new kid that many times, but
Speaker 4: I've seen all the movies, you know, all the TV shows,
Speaker 4: and it always looks like the worst thing ever to
Speaker 4: be the new girl. Yes, I'd rather not be that.
Speaker 4: But my best friend is going to Boulder, so she'll
Speaker 4: be there lay out the land for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's me. We talked about even the last podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah to me, why Boulder? Can you explain it?
Speaker 2: It?
Speaker 1: Golda became the hot school when everybody was looking why, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 4: It was incredibly random. I wasn't even going to apply.
Speaker 4: I applied to like eight other schools and all of
Speaker 4: them I mainly got into. And I was like, don't
Speaker 4: want to go. And I got into Boulder and this
Speaker 4: like weird program didn't even get any money. Like it was.
Speaker 4: It was very random. Not probably the best school for
Speaker 4: me to go to logistically, but I saw it and
Speaker 4: I was like, I have to go. I felt a
Speaker 4: poll and I couldn't explain it. I couldn't tell you why,
Speaker 4: but I just knew.
Speaker 1: And it was really nobody was a ton of your
Speaker 1: friends and everybody seemed to think that was.
Speaker 4: The Yeah, it never was. It never was at school,
Speaker 4: which is so weird, Like it kind of was a
Speaker 4: kind of a I don't know. It wasn't the most
Speaker 4: popular school, at least in New York. I don't know,
Speaker 4: it just happened.
Speaker 2: And I know the skiing and the hiking, and and
Speaker 2: your degree also plays a role in that as well.
Speaker 2: Where you wanted to go. And then we were wondering
Speaker 2: if the Dione Sanders effect had some sort of impact
Speaker 2: on people thinking suddenly the Boulder was school because their
Speaker 2: football program has been in the national Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know you're excited about football season when
Speaker 2: you get their next ball.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I was planning on joining the team.
Speaker 1: Football.
Speaker 2: But you have our word that we will be showing
Speaker 2: up for a football game yes or two. Why did
Speaker 2: you want to go so far away from mom? Like,
Speaker 2: you know, I tried so hard to get you to
Speaker 2: stay on the East Coast. I even was trying to
Speaker 2: pitch University of Georgia, where a family is, and you
Speaker 2: wanted nothing to do with it. You you only applied
Speaker 2: to one school on the East Coast.
Speaker 1: And isay.
Speaker 4: She was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she never left and she probably never will.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, it had nothing to do with you, obviously.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I wanted to change. I felt like
Speaker 4: it was just right for me. There wasn't really that
Speaker 4: much behind it, but I was kind of like why not.
Speaker 4: I know, I want to live in New York when
Speaker 4: I'm older, in my twenties, so it's like, why not
Speaker 4: change it up for four years?
Speaker 1: But specifically you did. I'm not getting away from Mom,
Speaker 1: but you wanted to get kind of away from New
Speaker 1: York and the Northeast. That was a part of distance
Speaker 1: from this place.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, And that's bold because you want to see
Speaker 2: something else, you want to see something new. And for
Speaker 2: those of us who weren't raised in New York, I
Speaker 2: always appreciate people who do have the wherewithal to experience
Speaker 2: other parts of either this country or the world, because
Speaker 2: New York is truly a bubble and when you meet
Speaker 2: folks and we know a lot of them who were
Speaker 2: born and raised here and never left, there is a mindset.
Speaker 2: And so I do think it's cool just because we've
Speaker 2: had the experience of seeing how other people do things,
Speaker 2: and New York is very much different than the rest
Speaker 2: of the country for sure. And it was interesting because
Speaker 2: I looked it up because I just thought, Wow, I
Speaker 2: was upset that you were going so far away. But
Speaker 2: I'm happy that you're going to where you want to go.
Speaker 2: But do you know that only fifteen and a half
Speaker 2: percent a freshman at ten schools more than five hundred
Speaker 2: miles away. So wow, lucky me, I got one and
Speaker 2: a fifteen percent. So only fifty percent of freshmen go
Speaker 2: five hundred miles or more away from their home. Fifty
Speaker 2: two percent of students don't go more than one hundred
Speaker 2: miles from home. I think I went about forty miles
Speaker 2: from home, and that's more typical. How about you went
Speaker 2: very far.
Speaker 1: Across the state. I don't know the mileage, but yeah, stay.
Speaker 2: In state state for very much. Do you think you're
Speaker 2: going to be homesick?
Speaker 4: I think a little bit, yes, But I also you
Speaker 4: didn't have phones or FaceTime.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 4: There's a big difference as to where, like I can
Speaker 4: see your faces, I can see our dog's face.
Speaker 2: Who or what will you miss the most?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: I was thinking she was going to say Brody the
Speaker 2: dog or not. Well, I mean, just be honest. You
Speaker 2: can't say and your sister your sister too?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Is there is there something about New York that
Speaker 2: you will miss? Forget the people the most?
Speaker 4: Mmm, I'd say walking on my own. I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm not going to be doing a lot of that,
Speaker 4: even in Spain. I think it's going to be like
Speaker 4: walking in groups to classes, just because I think they're
Speaker 4: probably pretty protective of these eighteen year olds just being
Speaker 4: dropped off in Europe. So I think that sense of freedom.
Speaker 2: You're going to miss your alone time. Yes, you like
Speaker 2: alone time.
Speaker 4: I do like alone time.
Speaker 2: I sent TJ picture. He's like, what's analyst doing? And
Speaker 2: I sent him a picture of your door closed? And
Speaker 2: I said, per usual, she's in her room. I thought
Speaker 2: you might say asuka sushi.
Speaker 4: Oh, I do love a suka. I'm going to miss
Speaker 4: like Chipotle, Chick fil A, Keynes, all the good ones.
Speaker 1: How about this? What is the thing you think will
Speaker 1: be maybe even the day. I don't know how you're
Speaker 1: gonna set up your room and everything when you get
Speaker 1: over there. But what's the thing you think you would
Speaker 1: see in your room often or that will remind you
Speaker 1: of home and make you a little sad.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm bringing a bulletin board. I don't really have
Speaker 4: a lot of photos printed out. The I brought really
Speaker 4: strange photos like it's I don't even know if it's
Speaker 4: gonna remind me of good times because I don't have
Speaker 4: any printed.
Speaker 2: We can stop by Dwayne Reid tomorrow and print some
Speaker 2: photos for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, photoed don't They're like really random, very strange.
Speaker 2: I gave you a photo of us to take with you.
Speaker 4: Yes, I have that, you have the wind, you have that,
Speaker 4: and I have a few like friendom decor that I
Speaker 4: took off my walls to bring.
Speaker 2: Uh so, I wait, are you gonna bring your baby blanket?
Speaker 2: Here's a little fun fact about Anally's. She never goes
Speaker 2: anywhere without her Gigi overnight typically. I mean, I think
Speaker 2: you've done some sleepovers without it recently. I didn't bring it.
Speaker 2: But what kind of shape is it in? And are
Speaker 2: you bringing it?
Speaker 4: It almost looks like a sleeping bag. I wonder if
Speaker 4: people can relate to that. I used to sleep in it.
Speaker 2: It's very small too.
Speaker 4: It's very small, incredibly small. So I don't really bring
Speaker 4: up that many places.
Speaker 2: It's in her room, trust me.
Speaker 4: Here's the funny thing.
Speaker 2: She actually had an original, beautiful baby blanket with her
Speaker 2: name embroidered. I think one of my friends gave it
Speaker 2: to you from Pottery Barn Kids or something. And then
Speaker 2: you got carsick and we had to throw the blanket
Speaker 2: out and desperation because you were like gig you just
Speaker 2: that's what you called it. We had to stop by
Speaker 2: a Coles and get a random you know, just pink
Speaker 2: and white with clouds on it, and that is still
Speaker 2: the blanket.
Speaker 1: You have no idea.
Speaker 4: I think Eva made it up.
Speaker 1: I don't know brand.
Speaker 2: So many parents are dealing with this, and if they
Speaker 2: haven't already, they will soon enough. This is the day
Speaker 2: that so many of us dread. And then we don't
Speaker 2: know what to do, because yes, we're trying to give
Speaker 2: you your freedom and let you have your independence. But
Speaker 2: I have some questions for you, like genuine questions about
Speaker 2: what you want, what you need from me while you're
Speaker 2: at school. How often should I check in with you?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: I think I think parents want to know what the
Speaker 2: right call is.
Speaker 1: But we won't know, will we?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: So she gets this, she might miss mama. We might
Speaker 1: want to give mama some suspence.
Speaker 2: She can always call me. My question is you can
Speaker 2: always text me? You can always call me? You know that?
Speaker 2: How often should I be texting you daily? Weekly?
Speaker 4: Not daily?
Speaker 2: Okay? Once twice a week, three times a week, week,
Speaker 2: twice a week, okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1: I wish you would have asked me these questions.
Speaker 2: No, what No. The next one is how should I
Speaker 2: check in FaceTime? Text or call? So a text? Is
Speaker 2: it okay to FaceTime?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Text me first?
Speaker 2: Text you.
Speaker 4: You never know what I'm going to be doing. There's
Speaker 4: also a time difference.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: That sounds a little ominous. You never know where I'm
Speaker 1: going to be, Like, what the what are your plans?
Speaker 4: Still? I don't know?
Speaker 2: All right, Okay, twice a week and I text you first. Okay,
Speaker 2: I can handle that, and then you can call me anytime.
Speaker 4: Hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, And that's probably a general letter. I think that's
Speaker 2: a good thing to do, Okay. And I have been
Speaker 2: people been giving you advice, like telling you what you
Speaker 2: can expect or what you should do, like and if so,
Speaker 2: what's the best advice you've received?
Speaker 4: I honestly have not. I haven't really received advice from
Speaker 4: a lot of college students, more like adults. Best advice
Speaker 4: I've received definitely to not overthank it too much. I
Speaker 4: feel like I've I've been thinking about it a lot,
Speaker 4: not in a good way. I think I just kind
Speaker 4: of need to show up, see how it is and
Speaker 4: figure it out. Like that's like our life motto. Ever
Speaker 4: since your kids like, you'll get there, you'll figure it out,
Speaker 4: And I think that's that's how I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 4: It's perfect way to go.
Speaker 1: You rob, you have any learns about her readiness, I'd
Speaker 1: say that, and that a lot of parents might understand
Speaker 1: this that I actually didn't. I didn't fly for the
Speaker 1: first time until I was a senior in college. And
Speaker 1: you have kids who have traveled all over the world
Speaker 1: and buy themselves in a lot of situations. So you
Speaker 1: might not have the readiness issue. But do you haven't
Speaker 1: you so?
Speaker 2: So yes, And I do think that is something to
Speaker 2: point out. I kind of always made it a point
Speaker 2: to I didn't spoil my kids with things. You guys
Speaker 2: didn't have a lot of material things. I wasn't buying
Speaker 2: you lots of clothes or any of those things. But
Speaker 2: what I did do is I went went hard on
Speaker 2: the experience and so and you all did a lot
Speaker 2: of travel on your own. You did service trips, and
Speaker 2: you went and without me and for weeks at a time.
Speaker 2: So I do feel like you're good at that independence.
Speaker 2: You know how to navigate an airport. You even know
Speaker 2: how to navigate an international airport, which is cool. What
Speaker 2: I worry about is because you've had that experience that
Speaker 2: you think you know more than you do. And that's
Speaker 2: always my worry, that there's this elevated sense of I
Speaker 2: got this, I know this. Also, being a New Yorker,
Speaker 2: you you're street savvy to an extent. However, you're in
Speaker 2: a foreign country, you don't fully speak the language. You
Speaker 2: are fairly proficient in Spanish. But it's this idea of
Speaker 2: not knowing what you don't know, and that's what always
Speaker 2: worries me.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you're saying I can be cocky.
Speaker 2: No, it's just no, it's no. And that may sound
Speaker 2: like that to you. That's not what I meant.
Speaker 4: I meant that, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Well, there's there's a there's a sense and it's not
Speaker 2: it's not anything that that you are doing wrong. It's
Speaker 2: just that you can't know what's out there. You can't
Speaker 2: know what could be out there. So my big I'm
Speaker 2: always about I don't want you to be alone. I
Speaker 2: always want you to have a buddy. Those are things,
Speaker 2: those are the things I worry about your safety more
Speaker 2: than that.
Speaker 4: Of course, well I will have a buddy. That's why
Speaker 4: I said I was going to miss being alone. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't want to put myself in a
Speaker 4: situation where I wouldn't want to be doesn't sound like fun.
Speaker 4: So I mean, I'm going to try my best. I mean,
Speaker 4: I will say, your point goes both ways, so like,
Speaker 4: I do know what's out there, but I also could
Speaker 4: be too smart about that, So yes, I will. I
Speaker 4: will keep an extry out be aware.
Speaker 1: I never got that since in all the time that
Speaker 1: she was ever had the feeling of Oh I got
Speaker 1: the are you just worried about it or you see something.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm just worried about it. I don't You're
Speaker 2: You're not like that. Yeah, but she is the one
Speaker 2: that people, even her older sister would lean on for
Speaker 2: navigation logistics, Who has the tickets? What gator are we at?
Speaker 2: You have always been that person who has all of
Speaker 2: that together, and that is I do know that you're
Speaker 2: You're very good with that. So I do appreciate that,
Speaker 2: and that'll take you a long way when yeah, people
Speaker 2: probably will be leaning on you.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And except for the time I lost I forgot
Speaker 4: my passport at home and we had to drive all
Speaker 4: the way back and I just switched our flights. Remember that, Oh.
Speaker 2: How could I forget? Yes? And yep, and you ended
Speaker 2: up right next to the bathrooms at the back of
Speaker 2: the plane.
Speaker 4: That was great. Yeah, the next day.
Speaker 1: My tip was I don't know if y'all did it
Speaker 1: that morning, but my tip to folks who are flying internationally.
Speaker 1: I have literally done this the night before. I will
Speaker 1: take my physical passport and sit it at the front
Speaker 1: door to where you care. It's impossible to forget it.
Speaker 1: You can do anything as long as you have your passport.
Speaker 2: That's true, you need your passport and you need some
Speaker 2: form of financial support. But I know that this has
Speaker 2: been a really tough two years and you have come
Speaker 2: a long way, and I've been so proud of you
Speaker 2: and impressed by you and how you've handled all. You
Speaker 2: have been by my side through the whole thing. Was
Speaker 2: you see with me the last two years going through
Speaker 2: a lot of this together. Ava was with us too,
Speaker 2: but she was in her own place in MoU so
Speaker 2: it was a little bit of a distance from some
Speaker 2: of what we went through. Are there any lessons that
Speaker 2: you learned that you will take with you to college
Speaker 2: what you've experienced these past two years, because it's probably
Speaker 2: much different than most people your age.
Speaker 4: I would definitely say not to dwell on the past.
Speaker 4: That would be my big thing. Things happened for a
Speaker 4: reason and might not be for a good reason, but
Speaker 4: eventually it all works out. And I think that also
Speaker 4: really applies to college. There's so many things that's going
Speaker 4: to happen to me and I just kind of have
Speaker 4: to keep going.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to let go of control because you
Speaker 2: never really had it anyway. Yeah, and then when you
Speaker 2: learn that, you're like, Okay, now what do I do
Speaker 2: with this? I have to I have to kind of surrender.
Speaker 4: Right myself and keep going.
Speaker 2: That's know who you are, and tomorrow's a new day,
Speaker 2: exactly right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love the that's called resilience and that's and that's
Speaker 2: I mean, those are hard lessons to learn, but they're
Speaker 2: ones you'll never forget. Yeah, tell me about your classes. Well,
Speaker 2: you said you got to pick your own classes. I
Speaker 2: think I know what they are, but why don't you
Speaker 2: tell us what the classes are?
Speaker 4: I have an intro to psych, which I've never done.
Speaker 4: That's not my intended major either, but I think that
Speaker 4: would be interesting. I have a business and Entrepreneurship class,
Speaker 4: which I want a major in marketing, so that should help.
Speaker 4: I have a writing seminar, an intermediate Spanish one, which
Speaker 4: is like the second best Spanish class, which I'm quite
Speaker 4: worried about. I hope that goes well. And I have
Speaker 4: I don't know what my last one is.
Speaker 1: I clearly forgot the spanh you're proficient? Is it fair
Speaker 1: to say you're proficient in Spanish?
Speaker 4: I understand better than I can speak it?
Speaker 1: Is there any will you have the option? I don't
Speaker 1: think I've asked you this. Do you have the option
Speaker 1: to extend your studies in Spain?
Speaker 4: I could, yeah, but I don't want to ask.
Speaker 1: What happens over there?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What happens? It really stays over there.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. And so we had we actually this
Speaker 2: I think helped a lot. I was impressed because when
Speaker 2: we went to college, unless you had a roommate or
Speaker 2: someone who you were bringing with you, or you could
Speaker 2: connect with from your high school going to college, which
Speaker 2: is what I did, you kind of it was the
Speaker 2: luck of the draw. Whatever roommate you got, you got.
Speaker 2: But social media, as much as we liked bash it,
Speaker 2: this has been really remarkable to see this process where
Speaker 2: you get to meet all the kids and actually kind
Speaker 2: of get to know each other online before you ever
Speaker 2: decide who you're going to Spain with right or who
Speaker 2: you're rooming with.
Speaker 4: It's it's very interesting. Almost every single person I know
Speaker 4: who are going to all different schools have this like
Speaker 4: group chat. Somehow everyone just finds each other. I got
Speaker 4: added to it randomly. I don't know how it was made.
Speaker 4: I don't know how you found each other or got
Speaker 4: their snapchats. But there's a huge group chat. And then
Speaker 4: you go out to dinner and like everyone meets each
Speaker 4: other and there's really random just like thirty girls in
Speaker 4: this group. It's it's so weird. I think it's really strange.
Speaker 4: But I will say it has been my process easier.
Speaker 4: I have a roommate, I have a few people I
Speaker 4: know going in. I mean I haven't I've met her twice,
Speaker 4: but I haven't met the other people yet. So but
Speaker 4: I will say social media is it's it's great.
Speaker 2: That takes a lot of the stress away when you've ordered,
Speaker 2: Like and we.
Speaker 4: Would have stayed closer if I hadn't had that, because
Speaker 4: I would have been nervous, worried. Really yeah, well, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, or you would have been sure that you
Speaker 2: went somewhere where you knew was going, where your friend
Speaker 2: was going. I mean, that's that's so much of it,
Speaker 2: because it's all so new and different. So not to
Speaker 2: have anyone you know, something that's very scary. So yeah,
Speaker 2: we get to meet your roommate Jenna and her mom,
Speaker 2: and that that every time you've met her twice now,
Speaker 2: and that makes you feel a lot calmer and better. Like,
Speaker 2: you know who I'm going with. You're actually going on
Speaker 2: the same plane together, like plan that, and I'm not
Speaker 2: going with you. I offered to what happened, But.
Speaker 4: No other moms are going. I don't think anyone's family
Speaker 4: is going. It's because it's it's such a quick semester.
Speaker 4: It's it's only three and a half months. It's very quick.
Speaker 4: If it was a full year, yes, but for Boulder.
Speaker 2: For Boulder, I'll help move you in so and so
Speaker 2: I'll go through the process again, all over.
Speaker 4: Over again, and then next year you can do the
Speaker 4: same thing.
Speaker 2: Well I'll be good by then I will have gotten
Speaker 2: used to it. But yeah, I think it'll be interesting
Speaker 2: to kind of just say bye. And and that's a
Speaker 2: weird thing seeing other people's parents pack up the door.
Speaker 2: Even with Ava going to n y U, I still
Speaker 2: drove a car over and helped her up in her
Speaker 2: norm So to not help you set up your room
Speaker 2: feels very very strange to me.
Speaker 1: We gotta do this twice. Yeah, but by the time
Speaker 1: you get over the empty nest syndrome, once she's settled
Speaker 1: in Spain and you're good and you find your joy
Speaker 1: and your freedom, she's gonna come back Christmas baby really tight,
Speaker 1: and then you gotta take her back out to yeah,
Speaker 1: and then do the whole thing again.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: I all know of that.
Speaker 2: That's tough and yeah, and I was also thinking, like
Speaker 2: we've had to get all this stuff that you're gonna
Speaker 2: be getting in Spain, Like what do you do? Just
Speaker 2: like toss it.
Speaker 4: It's a whole new thing.
Speaker 2: I don't even know to drive it back Like great
Speaker 2: for the next persons not have to buy all new
Speaker 2: things to go to Boulder. But it's fine. It's a
Speaker 2: five below.
Speaker 4: That's a thing there.
Speaker 3: Five below that was your favorite favorite favorite store growing up.
Speaker 2: And I loved it too, because everything is five dollars.
Speaker 4: I take my sisters now for their birthday Christmas. I'm like, guys,
Speaker 4: five below trip, let's go, and they're so excited.
Speaker 1: Who else do you have? Isn't it more than don't
Speaker 1: you have several people you know going to Bolder?
Speaker 4: Yeah they're not, I mean, not as close as I
Speaker 4: am with Neve, But yeah, I do know quite a
Speaker 4: few people. I'd say like ten, just from all parts
Speaker 4: of life. Like those service trips. Were talking about three
Speaker 4: of those people who I am that on one trip
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty two are all going to Boulder. So random,
Speaker 4: so weird, and I haven't talked to them in like
Speaker 4: two years and they're going there.
Speaker 2: So wow. And again the power of social media that
Speaker 2: you could stay connected and know that you all are
Speaker 2: going to go there. Yeah, what are you most looking
Speaker 2: forward to? Like when you get to Boulder? Hm?
Speaker 4: I really want to hike?
Speaker 2: That is so funny.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, and oh no, no, no, no skiing over hiking.
Speaker 4: Hiking's more accessible for me. Skiing means like I have
Speaker 4: to go and rent skis into the whole thing.
Speaker 2: But it is funny. I mean, I will say this,
Speaker 2: I'll brag on you a little bit because you were
Speaker 2: just twelve years old when you summitted Killemanjarro and it
Speaker 2: was remarkable because you were throwing up. I probably could
Speaker 2: have gotten me. I don't know know. I was wondering
Speaker 2: if I was the worst parent in the world or
Speaker 2: this was a good motivating experience for you. But you
Speaker 2: struggled and you did it anyway. And there were a
Speaker 2: couple of times where you're like, and you've you've you
Speaker 2: climbed Mount Baker, which is a glacier, You went up
Speaker 2: the Roman Wall. You said you couldn't do it. The
Speaker 2: guy who actually had summited ever said you're going up.
Speaker 4: Oh, he dragged me basically, but but you walked.
Speaker 2: It was your feet that got you up. And I
Speaker 2: and I've seen you've done the You've done the Andes Mountains.
Speaker 2: You got up to like fifteen thousand feet there. So
Speaker 2: you and you hated it every step of the way,
Speaker 2: and and you complained every step of the way, which
Speaker 2: I understand. You were a kid. So it's so funny
Speaker 2: the kid who I I did force you, I did
Speaker 2: push you now says you like hiking. What what was
Speaker 2: the change?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: How did you go from hating it and not honestly
Speaker 2: like hating me for it and saying, now I hate
Speaker 2: hiking because you made me do it. What was the
Speaker 2: change where suddenly you're like, I like this, Well, I
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 4: I think I securely liked it all along. It's just
Speaker 4: you want to hate things that your mom makes you do.
Speaker 4: That's that's just a guarantee. I don't know. I I
Speaker 4: being at the top is just that's an unmatched failing.
Speaker 4: So I kind of just relished in that. We also
Speaker 4: haven't hiked in a while, and so I do kind
Speaker 4: of miss it because it really did take up a
Speaker 4: lot of our time. Like we would go upstate and
Speaker 4: we'd hike up, or we'd go up and down our
Speaker 4: driveway what like.
Speaker 2: The entire day with fortys yes, and ever.
Speaker 4: We did that every single weekend.
Speaker 2: Because you had to train. There's no way you can
Speaker 2: walk up.
Speaker 4: It's weird to not have that because it was so
Speaker 4: it was a part of your life. It really was.
Speaker 4: So I'm excited and also Colorado, like, you can't not
Speaker 4: like hiking in those mountains. It's so pretty.
Speaker 1: What age were you carrying them the packs?
Speaker 2: Oh eleven, yeah, forty pound packs because to go up
Speaker 2: Mount Baker, to go up a glacier like that, and
Speaker 2: we were we actually camped on the glacier. Oh yeah, yes,
Speaker 2: and we had crampons and anyway you have to carry.
Speaker 2: Basically you have to carry possible you have to have
Speaker 2: a pick axe. You have your crampons, but you also
Speaker 2: have to have clothing for any possible weather. When you're
Speaker 2: up that high on a mountain, when you're doing serious hiking,
Speaker 2: you have to have rain, your warmth, you have to
Speaker 2: be able to have layers. There's just a lot of
Speaker 2: things you have to carry, and you're own water. We
Speaker 2: actually drank the water from the glacier. But you know,
Speaker 2: we had to carry MREs ready to eat meals. What
Speaker 2: did I said? I don't know if I said that
Speaker 2: meals ready to eat? Is that what it is? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, there's a lot of things you have to carry. Now,
Speaker 2: we did take some things out of your pack and
Speaker 2: put it in ours to lighten your load, which I get.
Speaker 2: And then the nice thing is the final stretch up
Speaker 2: that Roman wall. Our guide let you leave the pack,
Speaker 2: which is almost never allowed. But I don't yeah, at
Speaker 2: the very end.
Speaker 4: Because it was really rough. It was rough.
Speaker 2: It was tough, but like you said, if you when
Speaker 2: you get to the top, it's an unmatched feeling and
Speaker 2: the only reason why it's an unmatched feeling is because
Speaker 2: it was so hard. If it was easy. I remember
Speaker 2: I told you guys this. I don't know if you
Speaker 2: appreciated it, but I wanted you to feel what it
Speaker 2: was like to get to the other side of pain.
Speaker 2: To get on the other side of pain. That was
Speaker 2: your favorite because it's a Umanism for life. If you
Speaker 2: get through this really tough time, you don't think you
Speaker 2: can do it. You actually want to quit a million times.
Speaker 2: But when you keep pushing yourself and you get to
Speaker 2: the other side of it, you're like it was You
Speaker 2: always end up saying it was worth it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: And now you're going to be hiking it. I'm so
Speaker 2: excited to hear that that that is going to be
Speaker 2: an awesome thing to see you hiking and skiing. And
Speaker 2: I would say, my biggest advice to you is to
Speaker 2: go to class. Don't skip class. Go to class. That's
Speaker 2: the plan. It would be more than a plan, it's
Speaker 2: my life.
Speaker 4: No I will, I promise.
Speaker 2: That's good. And what you say, you're getting a marketing degree,
Speaker 2: But what is it that you are hoping that you
Speaker 2: can do with your college degree?
Speaker 4: No idea? I got nothing honest answer that decision will
Speaker 4: be made throughout time.
Speaker 2: That's very fair.
Speaker 4: I kind of want to be like Emily in Paris
Speaker 4: if anyone's seen that.
Speaker 2: Show one of your favorites. And how you mean you
Speaker 2: want to live abroad and be in a marketing firm.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't have to be abroad. Maybe there's like
Speaker 4: offices abroad and I can travel, but yeah, something like that.
Speaker 4: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: You get the reference to Emilion parents reference. I'm not
Speaker 1: alone in the room?
Speaker 2: Okay, season four just drop? Did you finish?
Speaker 4: It's only one part? One part?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: We were actually all at TJ's. Was that at TJ's birthday? Yeah,
Speaker 2: the first night when Emily and Paris dropped.
Speaker 4: Oh, and then.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't think we're gonna watch that
Speaker 2: because half the room doesn't watch it, meaning TJ has
Speaker 2: no idea what the show even is.
Speaker 1: I said, do your thing, say you could go ahead.
Speaker 1: I just some four seasons behind.
Speaker 2: Apparently if you watched the first episode you'd be like, nah,
Speaker 2: you would not like it.
Speaker 4: Really now.
Speaker 1: Italy thing something? And then what was the Rome and
Speaker 1: the Under?
Speaker 4: The Under?
Speaker 2: When we were in Rome, we found a really cheesy
Speaker 2: movie called Gelato that you know what. You know what
Speaker 2: if you watched that and enjoyed it for whatever reason
Speaker 2: you enjoyed it, then you would enjoy Emily and Pass.
Speaker 4: I love a good cheesy movie our TV show.
Speaker 2: Can you explain why you like rom comms to tj M?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just I love the false perception
Speaker 4: of love. I think it's very unrealistic, but it's also
Speaker 4: so fun to watch.
Speaker 2: Do you think it gives and I'll just say, specifically
Speaker 2: young women a false expectation. Isn't that damaging?
Speaker 4: It's so damaging. I mean, we grew up watching them,
Speaker 4: you love them. We were even like the Barbie movies
Speaker 4: and and their love interests. I'm like, what's happening? It's
Speaker 4: not real, but that's my way to escape.
Speaker 1: I'm not convinced. I've been saying this to her a
Speaker 1: lot recently. I'm not convinced you are her kid, because
Speaker 1: you all are so different. Just y'all both watch rom coms,
Speaker 1: but for different reasons. You you answered like dead pant,
Speaker 1: Yeah it's it's it's a total load of crape, but
Speaker 1: still it gives a false import.
Speaker 5: You're you all are so different, I swear, And what
Speaker 5: did I tell you when you question whether or not
Speaker 5: Analyst was actually mine from a DNA standpoint.
Speaker 1: Wait, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I told you that twenty three and meters has proved that,
Speaker 2: in fact, is my child.
Speaker 1: Even the fact that you have to turn to a d.
Speaker 2: Well, I just be like that was irrefutable. I mean,
Speaker 2: if you really had questions, I can promise you. I
Speaker 2: can assure you she is my child.
Speaker 1: I think you and Ava are pas. They say, exactly
Speaker 1: the same person.
Speaker 4: They grew up on the sandpod.
Speaker 2: But who do I get along with better on a
Speaker 2: day to day basis you? Because when you're too much alike,
Speaker 2: you butt heads and we compliment each other. So I
Speaker 2: think it's it's extra sad because you've just been like
Speaker 2: such an awesome I don't want to call you a
Speaker 2: roommate because you're my daughter, but to live with just
Speaker 2: just like what a unique experience. You can look at
Speaker 2: the bad and the negative with divorce and upheople and
Speaker 2: all of that. That's not anything I would ever suggest
Speaker 2: or want for anyone or any family. However, we have
Speaker 2: had the unique experience of being able to just be
Speaker 2: the two of us, and we always had so many
Speaker 2: people in our apartment and so many people different living
Speaker 2: with different people living with us at different times. And
Speaker 2: we've always had a lot of people. Even during the pandemic,
Speaker 2: we had a commune. Basically we had friends living with us.
Speaker 4: It was like fifteen people up there.
Speaker 2: We did, and it was a bubble, but it was
Speaker 2: like fifteen people and so we're used to having just
Speaker 2: a loud crowd around.
Speaker 4: Us, and so it was. Yeah, it was a big
Speaker 4: change though for just us too, it was. But I
Speaker 4: think we did got into a groove. We did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we've I think we've only had like one
Speaker 2: or two flare ups ever, like in eighteen years. And
Speaker 2: that I'm just appreciative of your You have a very
Speaker 2: calm and cool like you're the cool girl. Everybody wants
Speaker 2: you to be their friend. It's like TJ's the cool guy,
Speaker 2: everybody wants him to like them. You have that same quality. Me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, please like me, please like me, which is annoying.
Speaker 2: And I get that.
Speaker 1: So we get along, but we don't get it because
Speaker 1: we're just sitting back mind in our own business in
Speaker 1: the corner. Yeah, why are you all trying to pull
Speaker 1: us into this? We are absolutely and I that's the
Speaker 1: thing about Anily. There have been times we have a
Speaker 1: room full of people and I don't understand anything they're
Speaker 1: talking about, and I think it's ridiculous and silly, and
Speaker 1: everybody's into it. And then I finally cut my ales
Speaker 1: off an Anily. She's got the same look on her
Speaker 1: phrase as I do. I say, Okay, I found my tribe.
Speaker 4: That shouldn't be my whole life. It's like Ava and
Speaker 4: Mom talking and I'm like, just there, absolutely silent.
Speaker 2: It's hard to get a word in. Edge Wise, I
Speaker 2: will say yeah, and then add my mom, no, needn't miss.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm we'll never speak again.
Speaker 2: You and Pop my dad will just be like, I'll
Speaker 2: take it in, observe, listen, and probably be the wiser
Speaker 2: for it, because the less you talk, the more you learn.
Speaker 1: How often did you Analyst feel like it was funny
Speaker 1: at times but that you all were roommates, certainly more
Speaker 1: so in recent months as you got more freedom, and yeah, graduate, yeah,
Speaker 1: but it was It's funny that I absolutely see you
Speaker 1: all texting or talk and say, hey, what are you
Speaker 1: doing tonight? What are you doing? Can I have the apartment? Well,
Speaker 1: we want the apartment? Like you do talk like we do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's only been in recent months. Yes, I definitely
Speaker 4: think in the beginning it was what was I like sixteen, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I obviously had the trick curfew. It wasn't as much
Speaker 4: as like, yes, I raised you like I'm going wherever
Speaker 4: I want.
Speaker 2: I raised you very strictly, yes, New York extity.
Speaker 4: And that now it's I mean, what's the point I'm
Speaker 4: living anyway, So it's kind of just I'm.
Speaker 2: A big believer. This past year it's I've I made
Speaker 2: a conscious effort to loosen the rope and to let
Speaker 2: you have more freedom, just because when it happens drastically
Speaker 2: and everyone has their own way of parenting, but when
Speaker 2: you go from being strict and curfuse and you know,
Speaker 2: do this, don't do this, and if you do this,
Speaker 2: you're gonna be punished and there's gonna be consequences. I
Speaker 2: absolutely raised you like that up until this last.
Speaker 4: Year, and then I thought, which I think is totally fair.
Speaker 2: I just wanted it to be a little bit more
Speaker 2: of a transition and less of a jarring, completely opposite experience, right,
Speaker 2: And it's been fun because A I trust you, You've
Speaker 2: I don't I don't think you've you're not somebody who
Speaker 2: was sneaking around or yeah, so I've just I felt
Speaker 2: more comfortable doing that.
Speaker 1: You come back some nights, Oh.
Speaker 4: That was this year.
Speaker 2: Well, the first time you had no curfew was your
Speaker 2: prom I said.
Speaker 4: Oh, yes, I didn't even stay at that late that night,
Speaker 4: and you didn't.
Speaker 2: But I told you you didn't have a curfew. You
Speaker 2: were like home at a fairly decent hour. I was like,
Speaker 2: that's funny. It's not how it always works.
Speaker 4: It's hilarious.
Speaker 2: It's more fun when you can sneeze, right. But no,
Speaker 2: it's been it's been a really it's been a really
Speaker 2: good year. And I've been, like I said, so impressed
Speaker 2: with how you've handled everything. I mean, paparazzi. You you
Speaker 2: actually even handled all that so while that that upset
Speaker 2: me more than anything that you know, he was at
Speaker 2: the time, you were under eighteen and your picture was
Speaker 2: being taken without you wanting it to and and you
Speaker 2: handled that with grace, because yeah, what.
Speaker 4: Did you say?
Speaker 2: One time You're like, ooh, they got me good.
Speaker 4: Well, we were in a fight. Do you remember that?
Speaker 4: We were bickering home from the gym. I was, I
Speaker 4: was so mad and you were so mad at me,
Speaker 4: and there there's a picture. I'm like, I have this
Speaker 4: disgusted look on my face and you look like there's
Speaker 4: steam coming out of you. And they got us right,
Speaker 4: we were doing that.
Speaker 2: It was just either you said something or did something
Speaker 2: else like that is inappropriate analyst. So I was giving
Speaker 2: you a stern talking to.
Speaker 1: The headline to try to make.
Speaker 4: Fun of the fact that, No, I don't think they
Speaker 4: caught on that we were fighting, but we knew we were.
Speaker 2: And yes, and you're like, they got me good.
Speaker 4: They've gotten this. They've gotten me good a few times.
Speaker 2: And then you've taken pictures and made fun of me,
Speaker 2: like the one on the city bike. We ended up
Speaker 2: trying to treat a lot of this to.
Speaker 4: Make light of the situation. It's very strange, and we've tried.
Speaker 2: To treat a lot of this with humor and humility.
Speaker 2: And I think you know, as hard as it's been, like,
Speaker 2: those are lessons you will take with you when things
Speaker 2: get tough. Sometimes humor is the only thing that gets
Speaker 2: you through.
Speaker 4: We love dark humor.
Speaker 2: You're great at dark himmer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's my forte.
Speaker 2: So does this one over here? Another thing you have
Speaker 2: in common that that dark humor, that what did I say, devilish,
Speaker 2: devilish la something like, ye, do you have the same thing.
Speaker 4: It's my favorite thing to do. It always makes people laugh,
Speaker 4: and I love making people laugh. That's the goal.
Speaker 2: From the time you were a little like you were
Speaker 2: a one year old little bobblehead, could barely walk. You
Speaker 2: were making us laugh that but that's you have always
Speaker 2: been the comedic relief in the family, which has been
Speaker 2: which has been fine.
Speaker 4: I actually just got a fortune cookie and my fortune
Speaker 4: was like you make the room like happy with your
Speaker 4: comedy or something.
Speaker 2: And that has absolutely been the truth. Ava likes to
Speaker 2: tell you all the time that you were an accident, yes,
Speaker 2: or a mistake.
Speaker 4: She goes, a mistake is her favorite thing.
Speaker 2: I think it's a mistake. You weren't planned, is the point.
Speaker 2: But it's I and I said, yeah, but she knows this,
Speaker 2: this this is fully discussed. But I was one and done.
Speaker 2: But you know what I said, you were like the
Speaker 2: greatest joy that I ever ever got. That I wasn't
Speaker 2: choosing or that I I didn't think I wanted, Like
Speaker 2: you were something that came into my life that was
Speaker 2: just turned into the most beautiful thing. Have you ever
Speaker 2: had something where you didn't intend to have it or
Speaker 2: you didn't want it necessarily and then you got it
Speaker 2: and you're like, this is the best thing that ever happened. Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: that's how Annie was this sweet little thing and I
Speaker 2: called her my beanbag you and I think this is
Speaker 2: what makes me cry, because you never wanted to leave
Speaker 2: my side when you were little, and Aba was the opposite. Hilariously,
Speaker 2: she was always running away and saying see you later, bye.
Speaker 2: And and now you kind of have done a reversal,
Speaker 2: weave my side and you're like, see I you. You
Speaker 2: declared early on, maybe even middle school, I am not
Speaker 2: going to college in New York.
Speaker 4: You knew. I knew. Yeah that was not because I've
Speaker 4: lived here. I don't know. I just I couldn't. I
Speaker 4: couldn't keep doing it.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: I love that you're sprouting your wings, and I will
Speaker 2: be okay. I will be okay, And I never want
Speaker 2: you to worry about that or make a decision based
Speaker 2: on that, because I love seeing you do your thing,
Speaker 2: and I love that you're different than me, and I
Speaker 2: love that you're different than your sister. I love that
Speaker 2: you have your own way of operating and going through life.
Speaker 2: It's fun to watch you and I can't wait to
Speaker 2: see what you do next.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Is there anything rooms you're looking forward to?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Is there anything? Not as a joke here, but a
Speaker 1: lot of parents who do their kids. There was even
Speaker 1: this thing? Was it emptiness? Divorce? Right? Once you have
Speaker 1: time to now focus on each other, you realize, oh,
Speaker 1: we don't like each other. Yep, there's a thing, But
Speaker 1: a lot of folks start to re discover themselves and
Speaker 1: start doing. But is there anything you are looking forward
Speaker 1: to possible?
Speaker 2: Well? There? The thing is, there's been so much change,
Speaker 2: and my focus and your focus has been on making
Speaker 2: sure our kids are okay. Now that I've got the
Speaker 2: two girls like out in the world living their lives,
Speaker 2: and I don't know how much much you know, I've
Speaker 2: focused on me or on me and on us. Of
Speaker 2: course there's been an element to that, but it's always
Speaker 2: been in the background of them. And so they say
Speaker 2: to your point that either a lot of times what
Speaker 2: happens in a marriage or any relationship is either when
Speaker 2: you have that now quality time where you're not distracted
Speaker 2: with kids, you either find this new bond and you
Speaker 2: grow closer and you have this like I think that
Speaker 2: happened for my parents big time, like significantly, which was
Speaker 2: cool to see. But or you realize that you don't
Speaker 2: need to be together and you need to find something
Speaker 2: else or someone else, So it's a time to really
Speaker 2: re evaluate everything.
Speaker 1: So, wow, this is gonna be the no.
Speaker 2: But you know, you know what's interesting too, is like
Speaker 2: getting in a relationship later in life when you already
Speaker 2: have kids. You never got that honeymoon period where you
Speaker 2: just got to be the two of you, right, And
Speaker 2: I know we have Sabine, but the thing is you
Speaker 2: are always focused the kids. You're always a major part
Speaker 2: of any relationship you have. So this will be kind
Speaker 2: of the first time where I can focus lucky you
Speaker 2: on you and us in a way that how's that
Speaker 2: going to go?
Speaker 4: I haven't been able to do before, Scared.
Speaker 2: It'll be too much.
Speaker 1: Well, it's true. Every single morning, I think you know this,
Speaker 1: at least we our day is structured. We can't do
Speaker 1: anything until we hear from you and Toby about what
Speaker 1: the day and then we fill it in around you guys.
Speaker 1: So to think now we only have the being schedule, yeah,
Speaker 1: right to consider and we usually can't fill out our
Speaker 1: schedule at least until later because.
Speaker 4: I never wake up my mind, and you don't wake
Speaker 4: up till eleven.
Speaker 1: Yes, you don't wake up until eleven o'clock.
Speaker 4: No, I wake up that like ted, That is a
Speaker 4: normal time to wake up. But you guys are just crazy.
Speaker 1: But you don't come out and say hello until eleven.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have to I have to process be waking up.
Speaker 2: That is where different significant.
Speaker 4: Maybe when I'm older, I could see myself being an earlier.
Speaker 2: But you know, but how how much have I annoyed
Speaker 2: you in the last and a half every day asking
Speaker 2: you what are you doing?
Speaker 4: And you're like, You've never acted like this. You've never
Speaker 4: like said that before, because there's always like, oh, you
Speaker 4: went to work, I went to school. We kind of
Speaker 4: like met at home, you know.
Speaker 2: But now I have a lot more time, and I'm
Speaker 2: trying to incorporate you, and I know you're leaving soon,
Speaker 2: so I was trying to incorporate you in as much
Speaker 2: as possible and you were like, now you're suffocating.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, mom, I've never had someone care this
Speaker 4: much about my schedule.
Speaker 2: Can you please go back to what you used to
Speaker 2: do in the morning and I didn't have to see you.
Speaker 1: I could go to work many times that I say, heye,
Speaker 1: just give her a beat. Don't worry about it because
Speaker 1: she's stressing you out about your schedule, because she's trying
Speaker 1: to make some plan. Think I don't know.
Speaker 4: I let it go. Thank you.
Speaker 1: What are we going to do now? There's no wow.
Speaker 4: I there will be a.
Speaker 2: Transition, and I think we will all find some freedom
Speaker 2: that we didn't have before, and we can still have
Speaker 2: a beautiful, loving relationship. But it's just gonna it's gonna
Speaker 2: change a little bit, and it's been changing this past year. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you shift. I'll always be your mom, but I get
Speaker 2: to be a little bit more of your friend now,
Speaker 2: and that's kind of fun. I can I can take
Speaker 2: my hands off the wheel a little bit, and I
Speaker 2: you know, little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.
Speaker 2: I always wanted to do the hard work early, not
Speaker 2: that you weren't going to make mistakes. I hope you
Speaker 2: make plenty of them. I just hope you make them safely,
Speaker 2: but that's how you learn. But I do feel like
Speaker 2: it's nice to know that I put in the work early,
Speaker 2: and now you get to lead the way and make
Speaker 2: your own path. And I feel good about it.
Speaker 4: I feel good about it, definitely.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't wait. I can't wait to watch you fly.
Speaker 4: Oh wait.
Speaker 2: I had these cute little quotes I wanted to leave
Speaker 2: anyone who's going through this. Sometimes I like quotes, tej.
Speaker 1: You like quotes. I was bracing for it.
Speaker 4: I oh no.
Speaker 2: So these were the two quotes I really liked, and
Speaker 2: I wanted to share these with any other parent out
Speaker 2: there who's going through this. These these made me. The
Speaker 2: first one's from the Dali Lama give the ones you love,
Speaker 2: wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.
Speaker 2: I thought that was very sweet.
Speaker 4: Preach.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna get that tattooed on me.
Speaker 2: I love that I had that impact on you or
Speaker 2: the doll. I would you say in your handwriting, Oh wow,
Speaker 2: that's not cheesy. This one, however, has some humor to it,
Speaker 2: and this made me laugh. And I think sometimes, as
Speaker 2: we talked about, that's what we need in these moments
Speaker 2: when we're a little sad. However painful, the process of
Speaker 2: leaving home for parents and for children, the really frightening
Speaker 2: thing for both would be the prospect of the child
Speaker 2: never leaving home.
Speaker 4: It was kind of fun.
Speaker 2: This is what is supposed to happen for all parties involved.
Speaker 2: And I remember when I first held you. You, I
Speaker 2: told myself, my job is to make sure this little
Speaker 2: girl can live on her own and be happy with
Speaker 2: herself and move on from you know, from being under
Speaker 2: my under my wing. That my job is to make
Speaker 2: her independent of me and to be successfully independent and happy.
Speaker 2: And so I remember reminding myself of that along the way,
Speaker 2: that that was my number one job to guide you
Speaker 2: to be your own person.
Speaker 4: Think about how annoyed you would be if I stayed
Speaker 4: at home entire life.
Speaker 1: You know, if you stayed for the next couple of years.
Speaker 1: I don't think she'd be upset. I think she'd be
Speaker 1: excited about that. I think you would.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I still have a winter break and summer break.
Speaker 2: Although wat she'll start becoming like an instructor and staying
Speaker 2: there and everything. I could see you doing all sorts
Speaker 2: of stuff, But it's your life to live, and I'll
Speaker 2: be okay, and I can't. I'll be your cheerleader, cheerleader
Speaker 2: back home no matter what. I love you, I love you.
Speaker 1: I love you guys too. All folks. We appreciate you
Speaker 1: all listening as always. Folks, if you're out there, if
Speaker 1: you're about to send your kid off, you're going to
Speaker 1: be okay. The three steps they say of this, what
Speaker 1: is it the empty nest syndrome. It's grief, relief, and
Speaker 1: then joy. It's coming. Everybody's going to be fine. It's
Speaker 1: tougher on some than others, but a lot of folks
Speaker 1: go through and they make it through, are just fine,
Speaker 1: and some come out really well on the other side.
Speaker 1: So es, you're going to be okay. I'll be here
Speaker 1: with you through this one and then the next time
Speaker 1: we have to do it with their in December, right oday,
Speaker 1: I'll be here with you. Now, let's go get that
Speaker 1: contractor and start working on her room.