WEBVTT - Return to Paradise with Abigail Heringer 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.680 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and Dared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.119 and I Heart radio podcast. What's going on? Everyone, Welcome 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:14.120 to an all new episode of Help I Suck at 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:16.960 Dating and Boy, oh boy, do we have a great 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:20.200 episode in store for you today. A woman that does 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:22.759 not well. She did kind of stuck at dating at 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:26.520 one point, um as far as we saw, but whatever, 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:29.360 she doesn't suck anymore. She was one of the fan 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:32.320 favorites from this most recent season at Bachelor in Paradise. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:39.640 Abigail Harringer, Yeah, Harringer is here joining us. Abigail, how 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.440 are you? I'm good, Thanks guys for having me come 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:45.880 on today. Of course, thanks for coming on. You're you're 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:48.320 the one who really keeps us in line. Usually this 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:49.760 goes off the rails. As you can tell. My Mike 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:53.080 has been struggling. But Abigail, how are you? How are you? Noah, 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:58.040 what's new in your life? Yeah? We're not really busy. Um, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:01.440 I actually just popped up in moved across the country. 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:03.400 Um wh I was living in New York for a 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:06.679 little bit. So my life is just kind of still 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:10.240 in suitcases and whatnot at this point. But um, you know, 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:12.600 what's going well? And then we just did a trip 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.440 to coast Um which was really fun. And now he's 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:19.199 back to working at the hospital, so we've been staying busy. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.800 So you moved in with him. Um. Yeah, So we 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:26.120 have an apartment with one of his other friends. Um. 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.360 So it's the three of us and one apartment. So 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:33.400 we're beach right now, in Hunting Beach. Nice. Nice. You know, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:37.000 it's funny, you guys are so similar to Kaylin and 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:39.720 mys beginning of our relationship because we came off the show. 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.440 We did a bunch of traveling together. We eventually moved 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.120 in together with like one of my best friends, and 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.480 so there was three of us living in this house together. UM. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:52.200 I hope that. I hope that your guys relationship is 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.400 way more successful than ours, not that ours isn't successful. 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.080 I'm just saying I don't know. I don't want to 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.960 be as successful as ours, like oh toot my own horn. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.280 I'm just saying I wanted to be even above and beyond. 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:07.280 You know, you're starting out in a similar path here, 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:10.960 so I just don't want that to Uh sorry, I'm 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:14.600 getting losing my train of thought here. Anyways, Um, jed, 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.359 what what kind of questions do you have for appiol today? Well, 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.360 so you lived in New York. Is that where you're born? No, 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.280 I was actually from Oregon, and then I just made 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:27.320 out to New York. Actually right when Matt season was airing. UM, 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.680 one of my friends from college and I were just like, 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:32.760 we want to try a new city, try something new. Um, 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.360 And I knew a couple of the girls from the 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.760 show lived in New York, so it just seemed like 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:40.040 a good bit. And with COVID pricing, Tube write was 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.680 actually cheaper in New York than it was in Portland 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.600 at the time, like we had to take advantage of it. Um. 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.480 But then my lease ended and I missed my family, 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:52.239 I missed the West Coast. No, I was in California, 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:56.239 so it just made sense for me to come to California. Well, 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.280 I'm assuming you obviously came to California be closer to family, 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.440 but also because and Noah is Noah from southern California. No, 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.840 he's actually from Oklahoma. He's in Tulsas. So when we 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:09.200 were in hiding, because when we left Paradise and we 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:13.200 had to be in hiding until obviously the final episode. UM, 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:15.760 it was a lot of secret visits to Tulsa and 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.359 then he started tracked in January this year, so we've 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.480 been in California since. So how did you How did 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.200 you guys decide that you were going to move to 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.560 California and he wasn't gonna move to New York. Um, 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.000 so I knew I didn't want to be in New 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.520 York long term. Like I love the city, but it's 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:35.480 a very like I'm used to kind of the slower 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.400 vibes of just being able to like go for walks 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:41.920 or drive places, just things like that, and living in 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.080 the city is very kind of hustle and bustle and 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.920 just a little exhausting. Um. And then he was looking 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:52.000 at contract and he wanted to obviously go somewhere warmer 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.600 for the winter, so this one came up. It's in 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.200 Huntington Beach, which I like l a, but I definitely 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:00.320 like how Huntington's a little bit further. Oh, it's a 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.640 little bit more low key and quieter. So it just 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:07.440 like that, are you gonna have a car in California? 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.120 So No, and I are sharing his car right now 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:12.880 because he works night ships, so I have it during 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:16.040 the day pretty well. But you have the fore runner, 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.360 so gas right now, like prices are still in California, 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.839 and I think his car probably gets like tea miles 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:24.000 per hour, So like filling up his tank is such 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.800 a paint right now. So maybe I'll look into getting 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:30.000 like a little electric car or like scooter or something. 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:35.479 I heard gas was seven dollars. Is that true? It's 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.560 south to seven, but it's north of six. I mean 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:40.320 I would believe it. I haven't built up his tank 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.360 in a while, so I'll have to ask him. So 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:46.520 how is long distance? What did you guys do to 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:49.200 keep the romance alive while you were you know, almost 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:55.479 three thousand miles apart. Yeah, I mean it's not fun. Um, 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:59.320 just like going that long without seeing somebody. But um, 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.080 I feel like we did pretty well. Like we were 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.440 able to see each other a lot. I think just 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:07.440 a flexibility with my kind of schedule. I was able 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.159 to fly on see him a lot, a lot of 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.520 face times, a lot of light show dates maybe dates 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.560 and whatnot. Um, and then just trying to make the 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:21.600 time that we did zoom dates. So you like zoom 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.039 together and watch a show. Oh yeah, I will like 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:27.799 start the show at the same time and then I'll mute, 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.480 but I just used to catch and Nate I think 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:33.279 he'll play it on his TV ever. Yeah, are you guys? 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:35.720 Are you guys good at those types of um? Not 0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:38.520 like relationships, but like every relationship at one point the 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:40.000 kind of has to go through that long distance thing. 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:42.039 Are you guys good at like the long distance relationship 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:46.560 or um? We knew that we did not want to 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:48.240 do long distance, like if we had to do it 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.640 for more than a year, like, I just don't think 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:52.800 it word to words, Not that we would have been 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:55.400 able to do it, but I think we just really 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.560 value that time together. So I think that's why when 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:00.720 mine leaves was dun date, it wasn't lay a question 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:04.159 of okay, yeah, like we're going to take that step together, UM, 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:07.279 just because I mean, people make it work for years, 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:11.600 but it's just not in my nature to doce Jed, 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.800 can you do long distance? I did. The only time 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:16.880 I've done long distance was with my ex girlfriend. She 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.960 studied abroad in Italy and I was for six months. 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:20.480 But the only reason we really made it through is 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.920 because we knew there was an endgame. It wasn't oh, 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.240 who's moving where? How long is this going to take? 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:27.919 We knew that I knew that she was back in 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:29.560 six months. I don't think i'd be able to do 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.880 long distance um as much as I like my own 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:35.679 personal time, and Dean, you can relate to this where 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.640 I need just to be alone for a while. Uh, 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.039 I also can't be I I don't want to be 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:45.360 alone for like weeks or months at a time and 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.360 then see someone and then have to leave and then 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.960 do that all over. That's really tough. If if Kaylin 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:52.679 and I had to do long distance for whatever reason, 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:57.520 like let's say she got a work thing in um 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.000 Japan for nine months and I had to be in America, 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:02.800 I've guarantee you she would break up with me within 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:05.240 like two months. I'm so bad, like a sense, like 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.359 I hate phone calls, I hate face times, and she 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.840 loves us things, and after like the first couple of weeks, 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.800 she'd be like, why are you not answering my phone calls? 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:15.560 I'm like, I don't know, I just don't like it. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.800 Let's just text. Let's just text. Texting is good, and 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.920 it's tough too, because then you get like and then 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:22.600 you're on the phone with each other and you have 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.160 to call every night, so you're like, might start getting 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:28.600 annoyed at one another. We have nothing to talk about. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:32.119 My biggest pet peeve even outside of romantic relationships, actually 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:34.080 probably less so in romantic but even like in her 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:39.640 personal relationships is when people call without a designated purpose, 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:43.080 Like if you just call just to talk, I I 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.840 Will explode. But like if you call and you're like, hey, 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:47.560 like where are you? Are you coming? Okay, you're even 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.120 here in five minutes? All right, see then but no, 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:50.600 if you just call and you're like, hey, what's up? 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.960 Like how are you? What's new? Oh my gosh, nothing 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.080 infuriates me more than that for some reason, and that's 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:58.280 probably not good. But um, anyways, back to the subject 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.160 that hand, Abigail, what have you learned about Noah since 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.000 you guys have started dating or what's your favorite thing 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.640 that you've learned about him? Um? My favorite thing about 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:12.240 him that I've learned? Um, honestly, he really surprised me 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:16.280 and how much after he's setting into our relationship. I 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:18.960 think just because when you leave Paradise you are still 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:22.840 kind of in that bubble and kind of okay, like, um, 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:24.680 not like I had a fairy toe because obviously then 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:26.840 like well, for us, but I think you kind of 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:30.720 just have that bubble of okay, Um, it's really easy 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.000 to kind of just focus on that relationship, but then 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:34.520 when you get to the real world, you have all 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.360 these distractions come up. And I've just been really impressed 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:41.760 with how much he prioritizes our relationship, um, you know, 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:43.600 just on a day to day basis, and then also 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.480 just with like his contract for his hospital, how much 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.640 he was just like checking in with me, kind of 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:50.520 failing me and saying like, would you be happy with 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:54.400 this location. I'm gonna request to work like four days 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.199 so we'll have three day weekends. I was like, oh, 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.800 that's really sweet. Yeah, you guys are definitely one of 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.720 my favorites in Paradises past season. But I at the 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:04.600 top of the episode, I mentioned you guys sucked at 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.360 one point on the show, and I want to bring 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.240 that up real quick. So at the prompt on the 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.080 prompt it you guys like we're kind of going at 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.440 it against each other, Can you just like walk that 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.040 over with us real quick? And I'm sure you're probably 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:17.040 sick of reliving it. Obviously it's okay because everything ended well, 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.040 so like maybe it's funny to look back and laugh 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.280 at So can you just talk about that for a second, 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.960 like how did that all unfold? And then how did 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:27.559 you guys kind of rekindle after the fact. Yeah, So, 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:32.720 I think kind of the issue on Paradise was obviously communication. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.959 We just did not do a good job of communicating. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.800 And I think for me, I'm a very bite list 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:40.920 of person when it comes to dating, and like, yes, 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:42.720 I know what I signed before when I went on 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:46.080 the show, but just the idea of, you know, a 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.720 proposal after two and a half weeks, like that just 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:52.280 scared me the entire time. Um, I was having so 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:55.480 much fun with Nolla a day basis, but then when 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.839 it came time to half those conversations, it was kind 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.839 of like an inner battle with myself of Okay, I 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:02.400 want to show him how much I care for him, 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:04.160 but I also don't want to scare him because we've 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.240 only been talking for a week, and so I just 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.560 wouldn't say anything. And then he kind of took it 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:13.479 as Okay, well, she's not really expressing how she feels 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.520 about me. Does she not like me as much? And 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.800 then he was having that like we just weren't talking 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:21.400 to each other about it, um. And obviously that backfire 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:26.160 because I mean everyone saw kind of whappen um. But 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.880 then watching it back, it was really eye opening because 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.440 when we loved Paradise, I was really mad at him. 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:35.200 I was just like, you've blindsided me. Um. We said 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.120 we were going to be open with each other so forth, 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.120 But then watching it back, I was like, Okay, he 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.680 really was trying. Like I didn't see a behind the 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.520 scenes stuff. He really was trying. And I felt so horrible. 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:48.959 And I mean we could laugh about it now because 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:52.520 it worked out right. UM. Do you think that it 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.959 had you not been that way? Do you think he 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:58.360 would have proposed you at the end of the show? Um. 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:01.680 So we actually said kind of from the very beginning that, Um, 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.120 neither of us wanted to get engaged. I think we 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.560 were very open to the idea of leaving in a 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.720 very serious relationship. But I think we were just hie 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:13.719 on the same page of it's a very big thing 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.440 and a really special thing. We only want to do 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:18.040 it once. We want to be so sure um to 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:21.599 do it. So I think we always knew that the engagement. 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:23.560 I just felt we were going to lead together like 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:26.560 that was stud and Stone and apparently it was, but 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:30.000 then we got back together. But um, I we both 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:34.199 wanted to just lead paradise and not be engaged. Those producers, man, 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.959 they can convince they can convince the penguin to buy 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:38.400 some ice from them. Like I feel like if you 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.600 got towards the end, I guarantee those thoughts would have 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.800 like crept in because they were just like be driving 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:45.640 home because the same thing happens to every single couple. 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.200 And I think because you guys left early before the 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.360 engagements even were an option, and I think that's always 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.319 the best option too for any couple, Like the same 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:54.680 thing happened to me and Kalen. You know, there was 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.320 no pressure for us to get engaged from the producers 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:00.120 because we weren't there during that time, and so you're 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.640 able to leave and just like have a lot less 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:06.760 responsibility in regards to like that aspect of it, I guess, Abigail. 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:08.880 So the question becomes, you guys have been together for 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:14.080 what nine ten months now? So in Bachelor World, Oh 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:18.560 my god, that's like seven years now, any thoughts about 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.240 an engagement moving forward? More confident in the idea of 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:26.280 it now? Um? Yeah, So we definitely have talked about it. Um, 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:28.600 it's definitely. I mean, we wouldn't be dating each other 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.320 if that wasn't in the cards. Um. I think right 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:34.240 now we're just enjoying taking the big step and moving 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:37.800 in together, um and really just kind of enjoying die 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:42.480 and then we'll address the engagement down the roll. But 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.520 there's no timeline. Um. I don't think there's really ironically 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:48.560 like a pressure on us. I know, like as a 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:51.720 bachelor couple, Like people are always commenting on my pictures 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:54.880 and stuff saying once the engagement. Some people were messaging 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.400 me thinking our trip to Costa Rica was gonna be 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.760 like a proposal trip, and I'm might, we haven't been 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.160 eating for a year, So it's isn't that the most 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.000 isn't that the most? Um? Infuriating things sometimes too, where 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:07.880 you're just like, let us just live our lives and 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:09.800 let us be a regular couple and don't put that 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:12.880 pressure onto us. It's that and then it's just like 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.280 when we don't follow like the timeline of the show, 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:18.360 I think people are like, oh, they're not serious about 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.400 like they're not serious at each other or they're doom 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.360 and I'm like, but if it was a real world. 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.080 Like in the real world, people usually date for over 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.640 a year before they take that next step. So it's 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.800 just yeah, it's yeah. I mean, hey, Caitlin and I 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.600 are coming up on three years and there's still no engagement. So, um, 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.439 let us be let's be the big example for you. Yeah, right, 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:40.920 it'll come. It'll come eventually, maybe if she ever asked. 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:42.680 I'm just waiting for her to ask. She hasn't. She hasn't. 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.960 She's gonna get on one knee at some point. Um. So, 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.080 we do have a couple of topics of the week 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:50.520 that we want to get to. We also have an 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.680 email coming up later on in the show, but first 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:54.559 let's take a quick break and then we'll come back 0:13:54.559 --> 0:14:08.480 with Abigail and talk about some hot topics. Allright, welcome 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.720 back to help I suck at dating. Dean, myself and 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:16.719 Abigail are here. So there's a topic that I want 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.520 to talk about, and it's it's it's about breaking up, 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.040 which is quite sad. And I'm not saying that anybody 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:27.000 should break up within this. We've all broken up at podcasts. Yeah, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.560 so so has everybody here been broken up with and 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.720 have been the person to break up with someone yeah, 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:35.880 of course, certainly. I don't think I've broken up with 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:42.560 somebody never uh no, not even like Jimmy from sixth grade. 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.840 I feel like the closest was I knew I was 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:51.120 over the relationship, but I like slowly creeped my way out. 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.360 It was never sit down conversation. So I feel like, 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.880 I'm can we get that? Give you a little more 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:58.400 detail on that. How do you slowly creep out of 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:03.960 a relationship? You just don't do that slowly to back 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:07.040 out of it. Um. Yeah, I was in Polis. I 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.840 was dating this guy, like it wasn't a super serious relationship, 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.240 and he was two years older, so he had just 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:17.720 graduated college, and at that point I was just like, okay, 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.960 I know, like we're not gonna get married. I want 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:23.240 to enjoy college so for um, So it's just kind 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.239 of more of just like I wasn't responding as much 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.400 so forth, and then I would kind of push it 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.680 on him where he was like, yeah, like I don't 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:32.720 think this relationship is working. I think we should like 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:37.600 go our separate ways. So like I indirectly try to 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:40.280 make that happen, but I couldn't bring myself to be 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.800 like I don't think this is working. No, I don't. 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.200 I'm not saying you broke up with someone on Paradise, 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.320 but I don't remember. Were there guys that you had 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.600 to turn away? There had to have been guys that 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.880 wanted to day you were asked you on a date 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.880 and you said no. Um. I tually know because Noah 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:01.040 and I went on our the very first day, so 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.080 I already have the power from their first day. So 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.000 I never like the guy asked. And then when guys 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.200 would like pull us a side, like new guys coming in, 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.400 they would be like, like, what's your situation and stuff? 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.520 Maybe I should have been more open, but I always 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:15.160 pushed this slight yeah, like knowing that I went on 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:16.920 a date, I'm happy with him. I here are the 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.640 girls are? So don't worked out, don't be more open. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:23.400 You know exactly what you needed to do. Most of 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:28.280 those guys down anybody on Paradise. Yeah, you found you 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.320 found the best guy that you could have found for 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.200 yourself and probably in the entire history of the show 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.120 even too. Hey, quick question not to get us to 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.640 derailed from the conversation. What are those little bobblehead soccer 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:42.680 player guys behind you? Oh, that's his friends. Um, the 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:44.920 third guy that lives with that, Justin, they're like little 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.640 lets them Okay, cool, they're cute. I was just yeah, 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:50.480 I was curious. They're not mine. They're not mine. I 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.240 have no idea what they are feeling the pressure now. 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.320 I wish I knew. Is he feeling the pressure to 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:58.960 move out? Now? Now that you're here? Asked what you know? 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.200 We it's a really big apartment and we have a 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.119 lot of funds together. Um, I did it happen nicely? 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:07.680 Do it kind of like easing instead of just I 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.919 don't know it works for us. I agree, it's it's 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:12.919 funny too. Whenever I told anyone that we had like 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.119 Kyl and I had a roommate, everyone I always kind 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:16.879 of looked at us weird, But honestly I loved it. It 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.560 It was great Like if Kylen wasn't home, I'd get 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:20.040 to hang out with my best friends, and if I 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.159 wasn't home, they could like hang out too. So it 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.160 was like, I don't know, well, that's why you loved 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:26.440 it because it was your best friend, Dean. If it 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:29.720 was Kaylin's best friend, I'm sure the situation would have 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.919 been differently. That's feel like the best guy and your 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.720 girlfriend under water birth. That is pretty. They should make 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:39.120 like a sitcom out of this or something. Yeah, Dean, 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.119 you were living the damn dream. You kidding me? And 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:42.359 it was like, oh, I had to hang out with 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:44.280 my girlfriend and my best friend. Well my girlfriend's not 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:45.720 here and with my best friend, and my best friend's 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:47.679 not here and with my girlfriend. Sadly, it's all come 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:51.520 to an end because we move out on Tuesday. Ah, well, 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:53.920 did you get the place in l A. We got 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.119 a new a studio in Los Angeles. It's three square feet. 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:02.199 It is absolutely tiny, so there. Yeah, it's like a 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:08.000 New York shoebox. But my little New York apartment. Yeah, 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:10.480 and I'll tell you what. Rent prices are so ridiculous 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.520 right now we're paying nearly three thousand dollars a month 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.760 for the tiniest little apartment. But that is what I 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:20.520 would My office here in Audrey's is probably about about 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:22.159 thirty square feet. I'll give it to you for a 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.760 cup of coffee a month. You know what, Wait, do 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:29.600 I buy you the cup of coffee? Yeah, but you 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.520 have to spend it at Audrey So really you're just 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.359 paying me. Do we get back on track. Here, what's this? 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:35.919 What are these breakups you want to talk about? All right? 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:39.800 So this is from excuse me. It's an article titled 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:43.000 how to break up with someone in the healthiest way possible. 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:47.680 These are eight breakups don't So these are eight breakup 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.400 don't do. Not do. These the mistakes to avoid when 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:54.679 breaking it off. One do not break up over text 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:58.280 or email. It says, remember when carry was broken up 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.000 with over a posted note in sex in the City. 0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:03.560 Don't be that person. If you care about someone enough 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:05.280 to be in a relationship with them for a period 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:07.160 of time, you owe them the respect to have an 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:12.280 in person conversation. This one doesn't apply if you're concerned 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.440 about your safety, though, so if you're not concerned about 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.479 your safety and everything is good, I agree with this. 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:22.320 Don't break up over text or email? Email? What are 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:26.960 you resigning from a job? Godfort bit damn and I 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:28.679 ever break up, I'm going to send her a facts 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.119 and I'm just gonna say sorry, this isn't working out 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.120 because I feel like this is what I did with 0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:42.760 my relationship. Yes, I do agree, text or email is 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:45.720 a big no. Now I disagree, go for it, just 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:48.359 send it. Send the text. If you don't like it, 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:51.160 obviously isn't important enough to you anyways, just press the send. 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:53.400 But and I've done it before, I think I think 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.240 it's okay. I think it kind of like helps both 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:58.000