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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls podcasts, a

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Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information,

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Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com.

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Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning

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Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a

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Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session of the

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Since we're a week away

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Speaker 1: from Valentine's Day, I thought it would be good to

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Speaker 1: have a little chat about some of the stressors that

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Speaker 1: commonly come up around this holiday and share some tips

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Speaker 1: for how you can manage them. If any of these

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Speaker 1: things have been a stress of for you, or if

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Speaker 1: you've had other stress related to Valentine's Day, be sure

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Speaker 1: to share that with me on social media using the

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Speaker 1: hashtag tv G and session. So first, I want to

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Speaker 1: chat about managing Valentine's Day stress when you're single. So

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Speaker 1: if you're single, it may be difficult to see all

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Speaker 1: of this information about relationships and gifts and date night,

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Speaker 1: and so it's very normal to have some feelings about that.

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Speaker 1: So Tip number one is that it's okay to allow

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Speaker 1: yourself to be sad, disappointed, or whatever else you may

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Speaker 1: be feeling in response to the holiday. Your feelings are

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Speaker 1: valid and you're entitled to feel however you're feeling and

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Speaker 1: to fully experience them. Tip number two, try to remember

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Speaker 1: that you're worth is not tied. So whether you're in

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Speaker 1: a relationship or have a cute gift to show off

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Speaker 1: on that day, you are worthy, simple because you exist.

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Speaker 1: Tip number three celebrate Galantine's Day instead. So you really

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Speaker 1: never need a reason to get together and have a

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Speaker 1: great time with your girls, but this can be an

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Speaker 1: excellent excuse to do just that. So maybe y'all can

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Speaker 1: arrange to have a private self cook you a fabulous dinner,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you're just ordering pizza and spend the night

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Speaker 1: watching Living Single reruns. Whatever it is, it's totally up

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Speaker 1: to you, but using this day to get together with

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Speaker 1: your girls and celebrate Galantine's Day could be a great idea.

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Speaker 1: Tip number four spend the day doing kind things for

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Speaker 1: other people. You can make cute goodie bags for your

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Speaker 1: younger cousins or kids in your neighborhood. You can volunteer

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Speaker 1: at a local agency, or make a donation to your

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Speaker 1: favorite charity. Or Tip number five, you do nothing at all,

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Speaker 1: so February fourteen can be a day just like any

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Speaker 1: other day and you go on with business as usual.

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Speaker 1: If you're in a relationship, you might also be feeling

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Speaker 1: stressed for different reasons about Valentine's Day, so here are

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Speaker 1: a few tips that may help you as well. Tip

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Speaker 1: number one, you want to have a conversation with your

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Speaker 1: partner ahead of Valentine's Day about your expectations. Some people

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Speaker 1: are really into it and some people really aren't interested

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Speaker 1: at all. But like many things in a relationship, it's

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Speaker 1: a good idea to be on the same page about

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Speaker 1: how or if y'all are going to be celebrating. And

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Speaker 1: this is also a good reminder to not expect your

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Speaker 1: partner to be a mind reader. So if you know

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Speaker 1: that you really want to celebrate or get a gift,

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Speaker 1: it's okay to share that it's important to you. Don't

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Speaker 1: expect that they will just know. Don't expect that they

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Speaker 1: will just know and then be disappointed when it doesn't happen,

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Speaker 1: especially if this is a newer relation and chip. Tip

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Speaker 1: number two, try to manage your ideas about what a

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Speaker 1: gift or celebration or lack thereof mean about your relationship.

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Speaker 1: So let's say that you and your partner didn't have

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Speaker 1: the conversation ahead of time, and you really wanted to celebrate,

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Speaker 1: but your partner doesn't actually get you a gift. It

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Speaker 1: does not mean that your partner doesn't love you or

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Speaker 1: doesn't care about you. It might just mean that they

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Speaker 1: didn't know. So use this as an opportunity to have

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Speaker 1: the conversation and to attempt to manage expectations about holidays

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Speaker 1: and gift giving going forward. And then tip number three,

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Speaker 1: try not to blame or shame each other for whatever

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Speaker 1: way you feel about Valentine's Day. We all have different

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Speaker 1: traditions and different opinions about how we like to celebrate,

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Speaker 1: So it's okay if your partner wants to celebrate, but

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Speaker 1: it's also okay if you don't want to. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to judge one another or make this about something

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Speaker 1: that it's not. Try to find a way to compromise

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Speaker 1: so that everyone's feelings and needs are taken into consideration.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious to hear if Valentine's Day is currently our

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Speaker 1: has caused you stress in the past, and how you're

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Speaker 1: planning to celebrate. If you are this year, be sure

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Speaker 1: to share your thoughts with me on social media using

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Speaker 1: the hashtag TBG in session. If you're searching for a

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Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to check out our

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Speaker 1: therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory.

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Speaker 1: And don't forget to grab your tv G sweatshirts, t shirts, mugs,

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Speaker 1: or a copy of our guided break up journal over

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Speaker 1: in our store at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

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Speaker 1: slash shop. And if you want to continue this conversation

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Speaker 1: with other sisters who listen to the podcast, join us

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Speaker 1: over in the Thrive tribe at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com slash tribe. Think so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: again this week, and I look forward to continue in

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Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care