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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast

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Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental

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Speaker 1: health podcast with Jay Glazer. I'm your host, Jay Glazer,

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Speaker 1: And one of the things that I wanted to do

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Speaker 1: with this podcast is have people on from all sorts

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Speaker 1: of walks of life. One of those people that I've

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Speaker 1: helped is a guest of mine. Right now, I want

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Speaker 1: to bring in a friend of mine now I'm proud

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Speaker 1: to call I'm a friend and a brother now and

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Speaker 1: Keith Madden and Keith just reached out side on scene

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Speaker 1: one time, send a message in and the people who

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Speaker 1: run my social media are like, oh my god, you

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Speaker 1: gotta hear this guy's story. With that, Keith, I welcome

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Speaker 1: in your brother. Keith has a wild story he's gonna

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Speaker 1: tell us. And I'm just gonna let you tell Keith

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Speaker 1: that the floor is yours, and then we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a deeper conversation about it because there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: people out there who are like you, who considered committing

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Speaker 1: suice side and are now thank God's still here with us,

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Speaker 1: and what are we gonna do with that, so keep

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Speaker 1: the floors your Boddy. So a vacation plan three days

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Speaker 1: and I was in, as Jay says, the gray, gray gray,

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Speaker 1: and I was just so down and depressed. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I will have to come

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Speaker 1: back from this vacation. I can just take a couple

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Speaker 1: of days. I came up with a plan. It really

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Speaker 1: kind of put me a piece before I left. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not gonna be miserable anymore. And I

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Speaker 1: left on Monday morning and going down the road. What

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Speaker 1: my plan was to go there for a couple of

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Speaker 1: days and then wonder at an ocean, take a deep

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Speaker 1: breath underwater, and to just be done. I figured if I,

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Speaker 1: you know, hung out around a little tiki bar enough

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Speaker 1: and they said, well he had two monchs to drink,

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Speaker 1: nobody'd ever know. It just beyond me. So as I

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Speaker 1: got closer down there, I realized I needed a few

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Speaker 1: things for a couple of days. And uh. I kept

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Speaker 1: looking for a store and could find store and by GPS,

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Speaker 1: so let me take the next right turn. I thought

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Speaker 1: it was taking me on the road to where I

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Speaker 1: was going. It took me into the parking lot of

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Speaker 1: basically the story I have been looking for all day.

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Speaker 1: I said, hey, this works out. I go in and

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Speaker 1: she took a wrong turn. I took a wrong turn.

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Speaker 1: Was turned out to be the right turn. But as

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Speaker 1: I go in there and I started gathering up a

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Speaker 1: few little things I needed, and I realized I didn't

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Speaker 1: have anything to read. I read a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: had order of the book from Amazon Prime, like five

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Speaker 1: or six days before I left. It's usually one day,

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Speaker 1: two days. Always, well, my book didn't come. And so

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Speaker 1: when I got myself, I was like, hey, I'll right

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Speaker 1: walk over to the book. I'll and see if I

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Speaker 1: can find, you know, something to look at, at least

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Speaker 1: the magazine or something. I get over there. They've got

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Speaker 1: all the books pretty much piled in cards, doing some

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Speaker 1: kind of reset or something, except for one book. And

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Speaker 1: there's one books on the top shelf. And so I said,

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Speaker 1: I read I'm Breakable. And I read the cover, and

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Speaker 1: I read the back, and I read the inside, and

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Speaker 1: then I sit there and read the four and I said,

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Speaker 1: this book. I think this is a book I need

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Speaker 1: to read. Only books on the shilf was this book.

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Speaker 1: Next morning, I got up went for lal. He came

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Speaker 1: back started reading the book and pretty much read most

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Speaker 1: of it that day. Got up the next morning and

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Speaker 1: finished the book, probably around eleven clock, and said, I

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Speaker 1: don't need to do what I came here to do.

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Speaker 1: I'll back up to my room, back my stuff and left.

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Speaker 1: Came back. All my friends are asking, man, you had

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Speaker 1: like two more days or something, did you. I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: pretty much, but I had to come back. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: stay there. I had to come back. And so I

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Speaker 1: told a few of them my story, and they said,

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Speaker 1: you know, they were kind of balling the way. And

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Speaker 1: then I said Jay, and no, thank you him for

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Speaker 1: right in the book. And then Jay has kind of

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Speaker 1: pushed me to help share my story, and I'm glad

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Speaker 1: I do, and I have. First of all, thank god

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Speaker 1: you took that wrong turn. Thank god Amazon didn't show

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Speaker 1: up with the book. The book came the next day

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Speaker 1: when I got back home. No way, really all right?

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Speaker 1: So so clearly there's other forces here right there are

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Speaker 1: looking out for you to make sure you're still here. Man.

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Speaker 1: If you don't, if you don't believe there's some kind

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Speaker 1: of line force out there looking out for you, you should,

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Speaker 1: as as you say in your book, the Universe conspires

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Speaker 1: to save us, help us. It's not against us. So

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Speaker 1: there's a lot to unpack here. And that's man. I

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Speaker 1: still like, I get choked up because um m hmm

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Speaker 1: to think that something I wrote saved another man's life

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Speaker 1: across the country from me. It is powerful for me, man, powerful,

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Speaker 1: and I got no problem crying here to you about it.

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Speaker 1: As many times if I I've shared the story, and

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Speaker 1: then a lot of my friends have shared the story

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Speaker 1: and people that I you know, they're like total strangers

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Speaker 1: as people are really gonna know, we'll walk up and

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Speaker 1: give me a hug now and say, you know, thanks

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Speaker 1: for sharing. That helps me, helps me realize that I'm

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Speaker 1: not the only one out there and is but and

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Speaker 1: I think everybody needs to nobody. You're not a long

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Speaker 1: We're all in this together and we gotta help each

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Speaker 1: other out. We're gonna be team mates. What was it

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Speaker 1: about the book? Like, what part did you read that

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Speaker 1: got you to say, okay, you know what, suicide is

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Speaker 1: not an option? Now? You know, I don't know what

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Speaker 1: part I think as I went through it, and then

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Speaker 1: I would go back through and at the end where

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Speaker 1: you kind of sum up each chapter, if you go

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Speaker 1: back through and just read. After you read the book

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Speaker 1: and you go back to start reading each one of

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Speaker 1: those in a row, it kind of forms something that

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Speaker 1: speaks to you. It speaks to me, it did to me,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, and then I get to think about my kids,

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Speaker 1: how many people I would have heard? So I mean,

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Speaker 1: not only did you save yourself, but like if you

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Speaker 1: had gone, you would have you would have been gone,

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Speaker 1: but your parents to you, you took care of Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: and that's man. You gotta think about what you would

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Speaker 1: have left behind there. I would have left up behind.

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Speaker 1: I would have left up behind a lot of people

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Speaker 1: that care about me. But I guess you know, when

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Speaker 1: you're in that great you don't realize how many people

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Speaker 1: out there really care about you. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: something I need to do every day and other people

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Speaker 1: that he's just let somebody know you're thinking, you know,

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Speaker 1: make sure hey, you having a good day. I think

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Speaker 1: that was probably one of the things in book is

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Speaker 1: you don't always have to tell somebody yeah, I'm good,

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Speaker 1: because there's a lot of days when you're not good.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you don't want to spoil your guts out

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Speaker 1: out of everything and just say hey, I'm not having

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Speaker 1: a good day, struggling a little bit today, think about me.

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Speaker 1: That's all you got it, Keith. You're the exact reason

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Speaker 1: I wrote this book, ma'am, exact reason for somebody like

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Speaker 1: you to help save somebody, but then for them to

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Speaker 1: really understand. Okay, I got another lease on life, and

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Speaker 1: now I could be of service to others. Tell us

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Speaker 1: what you've done since, Like had you killed yourself that day,

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Speaker 1: how many people you think would have been affected? A

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Speaker 1: lot of people would have been affected. I mean I

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Speaker 1: hear it every day now, just out but you know,

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Speaker 1: we're glad you're still here. Yeah, and hopefully by sharing

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Speaker 1: my story, if I say, one person, if it helps

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Speaker 1: one person, it's worth sharing this story. It's hard to

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Speaker 1: do a lot of days, it's really hard to share it.

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Speaker 1: But you know what you gotta do it tell everybody

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Speaker 1: what you did. Though, after which this blew me away

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Speaker 1: with the book and the cards. So I was telling

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Speaker 1: people my story and this lady who was a very

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Speaker 1: very good friend of mine, Tracia Singletary, she wrote this

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Speaker 1: card for me. So I went and started buying books

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Speaker 1: and give them away, and I was getting away and

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Speaker 1: I told j Hey, here's what I'm doing Colese. People

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Speaker 1: need to read this book. We need to share this book,

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Speaker 1: and everybody will tell you, yeah, you know what, I'll

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Speaker 1: go by. Guess what. Most people are not gonna go

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Speaker 1: buy it, but you hand them a copy, they're gonna

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Speaker 1: read it. And so a friend I made a card

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Speaker 1: I put in there. It just basically said, as this

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Speaker 1: book helped me and I help, I hope it helps you.

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Speaker 1: It's I'll read. I got to hear it. So Keith

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Speaker 1: started handing out this card, which you know, again this

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Speaker 1: is a an audio podcast, so people can't see it.

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Speaker 1: But the card said, I hope this book is a

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Speaker 1: blessing to you. It brings you as much peace as

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Speaker 1: it as it has brought me. I'm trying to get

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Speaker 1: through this without crying, man, but it's hard. I battled

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Speaker 1: depression the majority of my life, while tons of people

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Speaker 1: have poured positivity into me over the years. Jay Glazier's

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Speaker 1: book Unbreakable had the right words at the right time.

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Speaker 1: Quote living in the gray depression. Anxiety sucks, but it

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to beat us. End quote. Let's talk more.

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Speaker 1: As you're reading this book. I'm here for you while

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Speaker 1: I'm working on myself vulnerability makes it strong Keith Madden

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Speaker 1: And then you left your phone number. People cold I

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Speaker 1: shared my story. I hadn't this is something and tell you.

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Speaker 1: I hadn't shared what I put on your Instagram. But

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Speaker 1: I did the other day and I got a huge

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Speaker 1: response from people, reached out. A lot of people said, hey,

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Speaker 1: I ordered the book as soon as I read that,

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Speaker 1: as soon as I saw your post and I saw

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Speaker 1: your video, I ordered the book. So it's a lot

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Speaker 1: easier to tell people that you really don't know your story.

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Speaker 1: But people that are your friends, that are really your

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Speaker 1: friends you're going your whole life. Sometimes it's hard to

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Speaker 1: tell them yeah, because they're gonna go keep what the

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Speaker 1: funk are you're doing? We need you here, absolutely, and

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Speaker 1: that's the response you should get from them. So, you know,

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Speaker 1: I've had a lot of people call me, message me,

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Speaker 1: text me, order the book. It's been pretty neat. Hey,

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Speaker 1: how's it feel now to know that your service to people?

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Speaker 1: It feels good. It feels really good. And you know,

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Speaker 1: when somebody calls and says thank you. I struggle with

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Speaker 1: this too, it makes it all worth while. And the

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Speaker 1: one thing I do now is when I wake up

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Speaker 1: in the morning, I used to get up. I was

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Speaker 1: in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood

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Speaker 1: all day. I was negative all day. Now I get

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Speaker 1: up and I meet myself saying I had a cup

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Speaker 1: of Colfrey. What is gonna be good today? There's gotta

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Speaker 1: be something I can look forward to today. No matter

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Speaker 1: what's going on, you think about, something you're gonna do

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Speaker 1: is gonna be a good part of your day. And

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Speaker 1: that's kind of how I keep myself in the blue Now.

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Speaker 1: When I originally reached out to you, my thing to

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Speaker 1: you was, man, since you've opened up and you've told

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Speaker 1: people your people, how many people you think that you

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Speaker 1: saved or affected it? I think you said, well, I

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Speaker 1: think I've helped at least five of my inner circle, right,

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Speaker 1: and then now how many? Like I don't know what

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Speaker 1: those five people have done? And you know, it's a

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Speaker 1: trickle down thick and I hope a hundred hundreds. Right.

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Speaker 1: That was that was my point, Like you never know,

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Speaker 1: like you end up sharing your story, you save one person,

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Speaker 1: like again, this book saved your life. You may have

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Speaker 1: saved someone who end up saving thousands. You just don't know.

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Speaker 1: That's why being a service is one of my pillars

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Speaker 1: of fighting the gray. And you know, being a service

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Speaker 1: could be working for charity. It could mean helping feed

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Speaker 1: the homeless, it could mean help with the elderly, but

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Speaker 1: it could simply mean this telling somebody a story and saying, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm here. If you're struggling, I got your back, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and I know now you know, I've got so many

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Speaker 1: people have in my back now that I can't quit.

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Speaker 1: Like you said, I can't quit. I got too many

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Speaker 1: people out there invested in me to quit. One of

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Speaker 1: the deals we made. I'm like, Keith, we're walking to

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Speaker 1: walk now, but now I need you to see a

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Speaker 1: therapist because I'm not a therapist. And Keith was like,

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Speaker 1: you're my therapist. I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: just dud who's funked up, who's learning how to be

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Speaker 1: good with this funk up this who's just as dark. Right,

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Speaker 1: you need a therapist, and you gotta still come up

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Speaker 1: with your end of that bargain. I will do it right.

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Speaker 1: And then because you now have a you got a

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Speaker 1: voice now, man, So what you'll learn from your therapists,

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Speaker 1: you'll be able to teach all those other people. Now

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Speaker 1: kind of look to you for this right that that no,

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Speaker 1: they could turn to you for this right. You know what,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to know. That's why of that cards

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Speaker 1: in every wook. I want to know they can turn

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Speaker 1: to me, and I'm not you know, I'm saying way,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a therapist. But know I listened to my

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Speaker 1: friends now seemed to like open up to me about

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Speaker 1: a lot of things. And that's good. At least they're talking.

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Speaker 1: You know, what was the reaction from your kids and

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Speaker 1: family when they found out? Not good? You know, they

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Speaker 1: know my kids are like bad, you know, it was

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Speaker 1: just like we're glad you're still here. It really upset

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Speaker 1: my parents. They checked on me like too many times

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Speaker 1: a day for a while there, but they were checking

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Speaker 1: on me, and I know they were concerned and they

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Speaker 1: should be. You know, my kids call and check on me,

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Speaker 1: and you know, for while, I didn't really want to

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Speaker 1: tell them because I knew you would probably upset them.

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Speaker 1: And I said, well, if I don't tell them, can

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Speaker 1: I tell everybody else? And somebody's gonna tell them. So

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Speaker 1: I just had to have us sit down and talk

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Speaker 1: to with them and where we are. They were upset,

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Speaker 1: but they're good now and they know if they get

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Speaker 1: in that spot, they're better call me that. Do you

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Speaker 1: now know when you get in those spots and suicide

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Speaker 1: cannot be the answer. It's not an answer. It's definitely

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Speaker 1: not the answer. Now you see. Also, like, man, you're

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Speaker 1: tough dude. I'm a tough dude. Let's just take that

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Speaker 1: pain on so we don't put this kind of pain

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Speaker 1: on other people. I agree, save the world, even if

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Speaker 1: it's the one person at a time, no doubt. But

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Speaker 1: if we gotta save ourselves just so we can prot

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Speaker 1: that pain for other people, that's that's that's a real

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Speaker 1: tough guy. That's a real man. And it it hurts people,

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Speaker 1: Like for those who are listening, they're going, man, how

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Speaker 1: did you somebody get this bleak and dark? Like? And

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Speaker 1: Keith and I have talked about this like minds every day.

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Speaker 1: It's it's I'm always man, I wake up in the gray.

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Speaker 1: I've got a I now figure out ways to get

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Speaker 1: in the blue. But fifty two years of having that

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Speaker 1: pressure behind your rib cage fucking sucks. And reading the book,

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Speaker 1: I realized, you know, my friend is always give me

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Speaker 1: a hard time because I was always negative. You know,

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Speaker 1: you say, hey, sunshine, and I'd be like, yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was probably raining a little while. And I was just

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Speaker 1: so negative for the last fifteen in the years, and

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Speaker 1: reading through the book, you realize if what I was

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Speaker 1: being negative just to be negative, it was like something

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Speaker 1: screwed up up here. And so then you start trying

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Speaker 1: to be more positive. And I've had a lot of

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Speaker 1: my friends and a lot of people tell me you're

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Speaker 1: a different person. Yeah, I'm a different person. I'm not

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Speaker 1: that idiot they want to kill usself. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: be a positive person and just have a better life.

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Speaker 1: And that that takes work. It's not easy when you

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Speaker 1: have mental health issues. It's not easy, folks, but it's

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Speaker 1: worth putting the work in this. So Keith again, he

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Speaker 1: reached out and and I don't. I don't check my

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Speaker 1: own d m s because they funk with me, and

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Speaker 1: um trying not to see comments because because it hurts

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Speaker 1: my feelings, Like I just don't. I don't have the

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Speaker 1: mental health capacity for it. I'm not gonna lie to you,

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Speaker 1: but but my team will like send me the good

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Speaker 1: ones to help lifts me up. It's pretty cool. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I never expected to response to say, you know, thanks,

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Speaker 1: frighten us, but but it moves me. And what you

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Speaker 1: don't know is when you send that message, man, I

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Speaker 1: was going through a fucking hard, hard, great time so

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Speaker 1: and I don't think I've ever thank you, but I

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Speaker 1: gotta thank you for lifting me up for a period

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Speaker 1: where I was stuck, man, and you got me unstuck.

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Speaker 1: So I want to thank you. Thank you for the

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Speaker 1: courage to reach out and being vulnerable. Man, that's true strength.

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Speaker 1: And thank you for reaching out to me and trying

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Speaker 1: to keep me a little bit strange, even though you're

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Speaker 1: not not therapist. But then keep the story out there.

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Speaker 1: The rock comments and my comments. All these people just

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Speaker 1: started commenting, and you're like, man. And then Keith Kim

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Speaker 1: I had to meet me down with the Carolina Panthers

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Speaker 1: and he was the star because he talked about his

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Speaker 1: vulnerability and well the other way around. They were like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, we're here with the guy who's been

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Speaker 1: through it and fought his way back. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I want you to understand that your story he's going to,

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Speaker 1: I hope, lift a lot of other people. But you're right, man,

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Speaker 1: if it's brick bright break, if it's one at a time,

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Speaker 1: then it's worth it for us and for you to

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Speaker 1: tell your story. Man, Let's do it. Keith Mattin here

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Speaker 1: who man? He is again lifting people up, helping them out.

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Speaker 1: He's being of service. He's using his own issues of

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Speaker 1: the grade to come through the other side of the tunnel.

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Speaker 1: Being unbreakable means something trying to break you but didn't,

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Speaker 1: so you're stronger when you come through the other side

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Speaker 1: of that tunnel. Keith, brother, thank you for joining us

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Speaker 1: with my friend you'd be unbreakable. Remind yourself every day.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you can see that. I look

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Speaker 1: at it every day to remind myself to be unbreakable.

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Speaker 1: And that for people don't know because this is audio,

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Speaker 1: tell him what it is. It's the uh be unbreakable

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Speaker 1: is on the inside cover of the book Unbreakable, And

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Speaker 1: I had the tattoo on my put on my arm

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Speaker 1: to remind myself every day to be unbreakable. I love it, man.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Jay