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Speaker 1: Welcome to alchemy this. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes

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Speaker 1: that Kevin Pollock. What's that You have a script for

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Speaker 1: me to read? I'd love to, but first this. Over

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Speaker 1: the years, I've been damn hell lucky to see my

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Speaker 1: fair share of true alchemy. By definition, alchemy is when

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Speaker 1: a person creates something through a seemingly magical process. And

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Speaker 1: my dear ding dongs and ho hoes, Like I said,

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Speaker 1: I've been witnessed to the stuff on several occasions. An example,

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Speaker 1: you ask sure if you're gonna be a horse's ass.

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Speaker 1: Let's see. Uh, here's one. The names math Ou and

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Speaker 1: Lemon may sound like the fresh fish of the day

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Speaker 1: to you, but every day on the set with those

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Speaker 1: two meant studying at the feet of great alchemists. But

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Speaker 1: I digress, folks. Not too long ago the idea hit me.

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Speaker 1: What if I brought together the right creative people and

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Speaker 1: ask them to make shut up based on my own twisted,

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Speaker 1: demented ideas that offered it as a podcast of this

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Speaker 1: seemingly magical process, And what if I called it alchemy?

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Speaker 1: My boy, you don't look a thing like me. Well,

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Speaker 1: after months of tinkering, I'm so very proud to welcome you,

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Speaker 1: dear friends, to Alchemy this. Let's meet our group of

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Speaker 1: alchemists now be in no particular order. Say hello, Mr

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski. Craig, tell the folks a little about yourself.

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Speaker 1: Oh hi, Kevin h fancy running into you here. It's

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Speaker 1: really crazy at this Alchemy lab. Boy, my My theater

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Speaker 1: just permanently closed its doors this week, so it's good

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Speaker 1: to have that next gig lined up already. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for sharing. Next up, the unfairly talented Vanessa Raglan Vanessa,

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Speaker 1: what's the last dream you remember? I actually took a

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Speaker 1: little morning nap and uh. The dream was that they

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Speaker 1: moved the trash cans at my apartment complex to directly

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Speaker 1: in front of my door, and it felt extremely personal. Yes,

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Speaker 1: quite the affront. What would a super team like this

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Speaker 1: be without Mr Chris Alverado, That's what I asked myself, Chris,

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Speaker 1: what's on your mind? Daddy? Hydration? I think hydration is key.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for that, and of course, why not include

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Speaker 1: the super freak Mr Joey Greer gris Stir What is

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Speaker 1: your effinity? You know? I don't know. I'm still trying

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Speaker 1: to figure that out. But through a process of meditation

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Speaker 1: and high interval training. I think I'm figuring it out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: good luck last, But to hell with you if you

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Speaker 1: think him last. Mr James Keeney, can I call you

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Speaker 1: Jimmy Jack? My name's not Jack, but you can call

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Speaker 1: me whatever you want. I just feel lucky to be

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Speaker 1: in a room full of such talented people, and you

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Speaker 1: certainly should. Okay, let's get to our first scene, shall we.

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Speaker 1: Let's just jump in. We take you now to a very,

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Speaker 1: very upscale hotel in Denver, Colorado. The hotel concierge has

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Speaker 1: the task of juggling phone calls from the gas. I understand,

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Speaker 1: I understand. I will get those flowers to you right away.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Hi, concierge. Uh huh h, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, yes, help you listen. My wife is due

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Speaker 1: in seventeen minutes. Wait, seventeen minutes. I can call it. Run.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna be here in seventeen minutes. I have a

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Speaker 1: very bad gift for my wife. Oh, I can help you.

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Speaker 1: I killed my wife's mother. Sir, sir, look at me,

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Speaker 1: look at me right in the ice. Okay, I will

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Speaker 1: take care of this. This is my job. It is

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Speaker 1: my pleasure to serve and to be of service. Give

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Speaker 1: me the gun here. I just need something, okay, need me?

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Speaker 1: Well here start with this. Here's a cucumber water. Thank

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Speaker 1: you a God. There's base with it. Two. That's good,

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Speaker 1: that's right. I'm going to take the prints off of

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Speaker 1: this gun, and then I'm gonna tell you about a

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Speaker 1: wonderful oyster bar. That sounds great, but but the oyster

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Speaker 1: bar isn't going to be a gift from my wife.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna be here, ring, ring, ring, ring, part of me.

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Speaker 1: One second, Hello, concierge, This is Marvin mqugh in fourteen twelve.

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Speaker 1: Hi Marvin. There's no CBS on the television, Marvin. There is.

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Speaker 1: It's just not the normal channel that you're used to

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Speaker 1: at your home. CBS is channel two at home, it is.

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Speaker 1: But here with our sad, I'm look at a channel

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Speaker 1: two now and it's a guide telling me about the

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Speaker 1: hotel lobby. That's right, Marvin. So so CBS here, like

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Speaker 1: I said to you before, I want to watch in

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Speaker 1: c I s understood, and that's on channel two O

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Speaker 1: two two O two. Well how do you get there? So?

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Speaker 1: Are you having your remote? I can put I. I

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Speaker 1: see the button. It says channel. Yes, so if you're

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Speaker 1: at two, you can also hit it two hundred times.

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Speaker 1: I think that might work. Actually, Marvin, give it a shot. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but didn't C. I I like to watch it live.

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Speaker 1: It's right. I don't know if it's fully like. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you're watching a live taping of it.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to watch n C. I yes, as it's happening. Understood.

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Speaker 1: Use me. Oh, I look like an idiot with this

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Speaker 1: gun in my hand in front of your desk. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Here, you can give it to me. Marvin.

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Speaker 1: This is Marvin mckugh in fourteen twelve. Okay, sir, what

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Speaker 1: kind of gift do you want? Yes, Marvin, I'm listening

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Speaker 1: to you. The baby would be fine. You said there's

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Speaker 1: babies here. Obviously, this picture of my my wife's dead

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Speaker 1: mother is not gonna work. If you want a baby,

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Speaker 1: look at me, look at me right in the eyes.

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Speaker 1: I'll give me one second. Hello because h hello fighting.

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Speaker 1: Let me say my name. I am send me macclvie

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Speaker 1: my first time when my new name were in the Honeymoons. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: did you hear that? Mr Devin mcleby. This is Devin macleby, mcallby,

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Speaker 1: and that is my wife you are talking to. Don't

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Speaker 1: try anything funny. We were wondering. You asked, we want

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Speaker 1: to know if you have any uh, we want to

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Speaker 1: know if you have any any turndown service. If you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? I think, I think I know

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Speaker 1: what you mean is anybody can come up here and

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Speaker 1: turn it down. You know what I mean? I do not.

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Speaker 1: I do not. Well okay, so um in a layman's term,

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Speaker 1: Well that's my wife, that's my wife. Okay. We saw

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Speaker 1: that you have a big aquarium, so what we would

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Speaker 1: love and I didn't see it all the men, you know,

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Speaker 1: could you have someone bring us up the heel from

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Speaker 1: the from the lobby aquarium. Yeah, we're going to bring

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Speaker 1: it right back, bring it back by we well, we

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Speaker 1: bring it back before we leave. But if someone goold,

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Speaker 1: bring us up. Okay, you too, Listen to me, Listen

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Speaker 1: to me. Okay, this is Marvin mckugh in fourteen twelve.

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Speaker 1: I'm a guest here at the hotel. I don't know

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Speaker 1: who I spoke to earlier. I don't know if it

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Speaker 1: was you that I spoke to. You're looking for Channel two.

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Speaker 1: I'm having it. I accidentally hit Netflix. I don't want that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you can hit exit, I can. Yeah, you just hit

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Speaker 1: exit on the remote. Okay, hit input because Stranger Things

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Speaker 1: is on now and I want to watch n C.

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Speaker 1: I s understood if you had I want to. I

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Speaker 1: want to see Mark Harmon solves murders there in the Navy.

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Speaker 1: That's that's yes, that's wonderful. Hit exit on the remote

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Speaker 1: and then hit input twenty two times. Okay, I think

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Speaker 1: I just checked out of the hotel. My wife is

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Speaker 1: gonna be here any minute. I'm standing here with a

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Speaker 1: gun in my hand. At what you need? A baby? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: How old? I mean as little as possible. So I

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Speaker 1: got a baby. You gotta what, Marvin? Just give me

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Speaker 1: one se gets served. I have a baby forty eight, babe,

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Speaker 1: it's old. It's all yours. I'm right now. I am

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Speaker 1: here to serve you. It's some kind of cooking show.

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Speaker 1: Give me one second. Hell concierge Hi. Yeah, we were

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Speaker 1: on hold for a little bit and then we just

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Speaker 1: hung up because no one I was talking to us,

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Speaker 1: so we didn't do anything. Yes, you wanted the eel

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Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yeah? We want a couple of eels

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Speaker 1: you to listen to me. This is Marvin McK in

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Speaker 1: Room fourteen twelve. HR. I'm not in right now, but

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Speaker 1: if you want to leave a message, please do so

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Speaker 1: after the beep. Do you listen to me, Marvin? If

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Speaker 1: you call me again with another fucking question about how

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Speaker 1: to change the fucking channel. Hello, it's Marvin mcq in

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Speaker 1: fourteen twelve. Him, Marman, it's saying that I bought a

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Speaker 1: five dollar Snickers. I didn't do that. You did? Congratulations? No,

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Speaker 1: I did not enjoy, sir. What you do with this? Baby? Mokay, guys,

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Speaker 1: what you do with this? He Marvin? If you don't

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Speaker 1: eat that fucking snickers? Hello, concierge, how can I help you?

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Speaker 1: I would like to have a nice place to sleep tonight.

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Speaker 1: One second? Okay, okay, This is Marvin mqugh in fourteen twelve. Hi, Marvin,

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Speaker 1: you have a guest staying with you? Oh good, I

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Speaker 1: could use some company. It's ver. What was your name, Marvin?

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Speaker 1: M What was your name? Toot? May? Excuse me? May

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Speaker 1: to May? Is that Wade? Is that Marvin? We're on

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Speaker 1: the party line, little baby dude. Say what you are sir?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for waiting. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: A little miracle. Of course, that's what we do. Herencier

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Speaker 1: provide miracles. Hi, honey, I'm sorry only Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: hold on, let me put this in a bag. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, are you earlier? Is this what time you

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Speaker 1: said you'd be here. I'm a little early. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm classic me. I hope you have something really special?

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Speaker 1: He does I do. I am the concierge. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to tell you what your husband has purchased for you today.

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Speaker 1: Your husband's big surprise for you on your birthday is

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Speaker 1: he killed your mother in cold blood. I have the

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Speaker 1: gun with the prince. I will have those prints printed

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Speaker 1: for you. This is this is better than an n

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Speaker 1: CIEs episode. You can hang these prints in your feel

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Speaker 1: free to print the print. She is dead? Was she

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Speaker 1: in a lot of pain? It's always the biggest guest

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Speaker 1: star is always the murderer. I can't. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to say. I mean, she did know. It was

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Speaker 1: me trying to look at my eyes. Excuse me, that's

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Speaker 1: my thing. You want to look in my eyes. It'll

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Speaker 1: only happen if we all look into your eyes. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so do I initiate her? You can if you look

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Speaker 1: at me, I'll started off. Look look into her eyes.

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Speaker 1: When I met you, seven just doesn't feel like there

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Speaker 1: is God. I knew there was something special about you,

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Speaker 1: the way you had secrets and sharp things in all

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Speaker 1: your pockets. And then we got married and for a

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Speaker 1: while everything was horrible and wonderful. And today you've given

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Speaker 1: me the greatest gift you could ever give me if

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Speaker 1: you took her off the face of this planet. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much. Happy birthday to me. Hey what's in

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Speaker 1: that bag? It was a baby? Yeah, yeah, I'm calling

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Speaker 1: it because there seemed to be a problem with some

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Speaker 1: of the lights and the Let me take you now

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Speaker 1: to a hideout. In this hide is the leader of

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Speaker 1: a British gang of thieves. He's about to explain their

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Speaker 1: next heights, which is the home vault of a notorious

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Speaker 1: mom bas Alright, you lock Clark, calm down, calm down down.

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Speaker 1: I think you should do something to sort of class

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Speaker 1: up that. It's not very nice here is it. It's

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Speaker 1: all very nice. It's not very nice. There's no decoration,

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Speaker 1: so it's just in the loom. There's no candles. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is my mom's place. Rebecca all right, you insult

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Speaker 1: me mom again, I'll fucking knock your teeth. Come on,

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Speaker 1: I asked my lady. You're doing that my mom on

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Speaker 1: it's oh, come on, don't do that. Don't do that

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Speaker 1: to my lady. All right, all right, thank you bloody professionals. Alright,

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Speaker 1: what's the job man? You said? You said you've got

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Speaker 1: a lott of bangers that day around, right, so we're

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Speaker 1: gonna make a big smashing with it. Every one of

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Speaker 1: you has a specialty, right, yeah, yeah, I do nails.

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Speaker 1: Fucking hell, Rebecca, you did the best nails I've ever

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Speaker 1: seen this city. If your mom wants to get some

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Speaker 1: free nails here, Rebecca, all right, So we're going to

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Speaker 1: take advantage of that. We're going to set up a

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Speaker 1: fake nail salon, only do real nails, all right. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna look like a real nail salon, a real manny

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Speaker 1: petty place. Don't touch feat because they make me vomit.

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Speaker 1: All right, it's a real manny place. It's a manny place,

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Speaker 1: does not life feat alright. Alright, So we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: this up and running for like three weeks. All right,

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Speaker 1: get it, get a client telling, make it legitimate. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna pay taxes. All right, Wait, what's going on, mate?

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Speaker 1: We're starting a business but robbing. We are robbing someone

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Speaker 1: when bloody thieves. All right, all right, all right, But

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Speaker 1: in order to get the caper started, we've got to

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Speaker 1: open a many salon. Right, we should keep on the water,

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Speaker 1: we should do um. We put it in a really

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Speaker 1: good location. Um, I'd like to have like fancy ladies come.

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Speaker 1: All right. Well, oh, last time, look at where you'reing

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Speaker 1: from now. Last time I started a business, it thrived.

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Speaker 1: It was a small tech company. We were using it

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Speaker 1: as a front, but it ended up doing very very well.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, look, Mr Velvet, we we appreciate your expertise.

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Speaker 1: We appreciate you've been in the business for a while.

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Speaker 1: Two years. Yeah, it's not as long as I was thinking,

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Speaker 1: but that's a decent amount of time. You're you're easily

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Speaker 1: the most well dressed member of the crew. Excuse you,

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Speaker 1: if you are we going to have a website, I

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Speaker 1: haven't thought about that. You've gotta make a website forget there?

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Speaker 1: All right. Well, that's why I brought in the new guy,

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Speaker 1: who's a web master. I've already set up something and

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Speaker 1: called Daddy if you guys want to take a look,

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Speaker 1: just take a look. Because it's mobile friendly, so it

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Speaker 1: should be formatteded mobile device. What's the website. It's www.

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Speaker 1: Snasy fingers com. Good Night. That's the name of our gang.

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Speaker 1: That's what I thought. What the point was, it's we're

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Speaker 1: starting a business as a front. Yeah, but there's no

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Speaker 1: reasonings that, there's no reason not to optimize our search engines.

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Speaker 1: And we say, this is why I keep Mr Velvet

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Speaker 1: around for this, this veteran expertise. Don't put the name

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Speaker 1: of your gang in the name of your website. Don't

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Speaker 1: do it in the U R L. Mate, don't do

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Speaker 1: it in the R at least would have been nice

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Speaker 1: before I pay. I bought this for five years. So

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Speaker 1: now we've got What am I gonna do with this

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Speaker 1: web doing it is very lucky though, that it's about

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Speaker 1: nails fingers. I mean, it's very lucky, really. So maybe

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Speaker 1: you could just change the name of the gang and

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Speaker 1: we could keep the website. We're not changing the name

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Speaker 1: of the game. That's my lady. That's my lady. That's

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Speaker 1: it's more very good name for a nail place. So

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Speaker 1: I've got a snazzy fingers. Roger can't talk to you

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Speaker 1: for a moment. Sure, let's go to the loop. Step

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Speaker 1: into the loop. We don't have to go to the loop.

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Speaker 1: While we're in the loop. I don't mind if you

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Speaker 1: do all right? Do you? If no, go in all right?

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Speaker 1: I gotta go number two. So known that ahead of time.

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Speaker 1: What a bloody ol do we? What bloody ol do

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Speaker 1: you we? Whatever Beck is making just put a whole

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Speaker 1: bay of little stuff to get and it's all just

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Speaker 1: meets pieces corn pieces is alright, alright, you should have something.

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Speaker 1: It's fantastic, is it not? A little greens? And I

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Speaker 1: talked to you for a second. Absolutely, I had a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend once. Congratulations, No, she broke my fucking heart. Oh sorry,

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Speaker 1: I've learned to stay away from women. Well that's too bad.

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Speaker 1: We're very fun. I disagree. What are you doing to me,

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Speaker 1: Mr velvet? I'm letting you know. You know, as soon

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Speaker 1: as my boyfriend's done taking this ship, he'll be back.

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Speaker 1: I will kill your fucking boyfriend. You understand. Anytime you

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Speaker 1: pissed me, anytime you pissed me off, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: take it out on him. That's not nice. But look,

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Speaker 1: it's just every time you say something means to Rebecca,

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Speaker 1: you know what I means, Like you're creating a fissure

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Speaker 1: in all relationships. I'm creating a fissure. I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to be the leader of this bloody gang. Mate. I

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Speaker 1: respect that, mate, I respect that Mrs Being weird, Babe,

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Speaker 1: that Mr Velvets being weird. Just sit there and it's

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Speaker 1: all right. Now. Do I have the tape in www?

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Speaker 1: Or is it a quicker way to get to it? Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I've pretty much optimized the search engine. If you put

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Speaker 1: your own name in, it will be the top five

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Speaker 1: on Google, my own Mr Velvet, any one of our names. No,

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Speaker 1: you need to remove from my website immediately. We're fucking

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Speaker 1: gang members. That's what I'm saying. We've got a professional website.

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Speaker 1: But it's just like, I know, it's your mom's place.

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Speaker 1: I love your mom, been there for me from the

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Speaker 1: very beginning, you know what I mean. Practically brothers exactly. Mate.

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Speaker 1: It's like you tacking our sister who I'm sleeping with,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, Mate, that's blad mate. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, She's pretty much your sister. She's my sister. Mate.

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Speaker 1: I love you, mate, I love you. Let's bring it in.

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Speaker 1: Don't lift me up, don't lift me up. Don't lift

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Speaker 1: me up, mate. Oh look, I thought it might put

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Speaker 1: me put me back down, paying all right? Oh lord?

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Speaker 1: Oh so I have my own my own page and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: You can put anything you want for your biography. And

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Speaker 1: that's your picture. It's the best one I could find.

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Speaker 1: I've happily replaced it if you like. That's no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: that's yeah. That's a pretty good picture, mate. It looks good.

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Speaker 1: That's my knee. That's my knee the picture. No, no,

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Speaker 1: your hand is on my knee. That's my don't get

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Speaker 1: the wrong idea. What I what idea went? All right?

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Speaker 1: I can't out but over airing from the loop. But

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Speaker 1: you've got bios and pictures of us on the website.

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Speaker 1: It's no good nail menu. Alright, let's get a bloody

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Speaker 1: nail menu. Thank you. I'm sorry. I don't know a

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Speaker 1: lot about nails, but I wouldn't trust somebody to make

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Speaker 1: my fingers look good if I didn't know where that

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Speaker 1: coming from. Rebecca nosed a shot on about mail about

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Speaker 1: nails whatever, whatever, whatever. We've both got a different ship.

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Speaker 1: Mr Velvet whild that what was that? Mr Velvet came

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Speaker 1: out and now we're from you? Were you about to

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Speaker 1: stow free style on Mr Velvet? Just a bit of

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Speaker 1: a beat of oh if I must, and then I must.

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Speaker 1: It's the Mr Velvett on the fucking Mike. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to get down and commit crimes tonight. I'm with my

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Speaker 1: four mates. Can't you see fine us at w W?

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Speaker 1: What's about me? Okay, it's four of it in one

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Speaker 1: of me. Anytime she bugs me, I'm going to fuck

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Speaker 1: you want my professionals? Yeah, I'm a might you broke

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Speaker 1: my laptop? We'll take you now to a small bar

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Speaker 1: in the Bronx frequented by the local police. Tonight there's

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Speaker 1: a memorial service, so one of the brothers, I'd like

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Speaker 1: to just start off by saying that Jerry was one

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Speaker 1: hell of a good officer. Jerry was good. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's not much better that the Black and Room could

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Speaker 1: ask than a Jerry underneath it. But behind every Jerry

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Speaker 1: is it? Denise. You're here, and Denise is gonna tell

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Speaker 1: us a little bit. We we might not know everything

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Speaker 1: about Jerry. He was a great condamn partner. But Denise

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00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: lived with Jerry Denise right with Jerry. Hello, Hello, Horrible

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00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 1: to be here under such circumstances. Horrible to eat that

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Speaker 1: ship food. Here's I don't want to fucking clean up.

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Speaker 1: I wipe it on my sleeve. Um. So I guess

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Speaker 1: I should say thank you all you fuckheads like my

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Speaker 1: life in like fifteen different ways. Okay, we know you

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Speaker 1: don't mean it, Denise, I don't mean it. Is not

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Speaker 1: grief talking. This is de niece talking. Okay, Okay, Jerry,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Jerry. That was grief. That was grief talking, Jerry.

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Speaker 1: Jerry did more than die because you know what, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Jerry was an officer. Oh good, give it up for

350
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Speaker 1: you guys. Oh, thank you for protecting us. I know everything. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here I am and no I have not been drinking,

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Speaker 1: Yes I have. I don't care, okay, no, no, no,

353
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Speaker 1: Look at you, Look at you. You're sucking animals, all

354
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Speaker 1: of your animals. Okay. And you're so sad. Oh, you're

355
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Speaker 1: so sad. You know what. I'm sad. I'm sad for

356
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 1: like twenty two reasons right now. Only one of them

357
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Speaker 1: is Jerry. There's twenty one other reasons that you guys

358
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Speaker 1: don't even know about. Okay, no, listen, I know we

359
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: protected service what you guys say, but you don't even

360
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,080
Speaker 1: do that. You don't even do that at all. No,

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Speaker 1: you don't. I protect and or serve every day. Oh

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00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 1: do you tell me all about that damon one or

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Speaker 1: the other at least? Yeah, I think none of the other.

364
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 1: I know what you all do. You gossip like little girls. Okay, no,

365
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:21,199
Speaker 1: I see the emails, emails, well, like little girls. It's

366
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Speaker 1: Tony Marciano. First of all, what kind of hair is that?

367
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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? You go? Okay, Jerry was

368
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 1: using my computer to read your damn emails? And are

369
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 1: your email friends? Say, up all fucking night gossiping with

370
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Speaker 1: you guys. You can't read it. If it says dock

371
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Speaker 1: of you can go dock of yourself. Right now, we go,

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Speaker 1: go dock of yourself. Okay. I've been a wife. I've

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Speaker 1: been a wife in this situation for years, and all

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Speaker 1: of us, all the wives, we're getting together. Okay, yeah,

375
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Speaker 1: that's right, always right, because you know we know everything.

376
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 1: We've been reading you shitty little emails. We know that

377
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: you keep stuff that you're not supposed to be keeping. Yeah,

378
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: you shouldn't put that in the emails. Guy, mostly just

379
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: send a lot of gifts back and forth. Yeah, you're

380
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: roll pranking each other. The gun pranks are not funny, guys.

381
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 1: It's funny you put a hollow bullet and it doesn't work,

382
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,479
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? That's funny when you need

383
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: to use it. Those hollow mollets are actually sometimes worse.

384
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 1: If that's the side point. Actually, she shouldn't be reading

385
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: the email period. You come up here, You come up

386
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 1: here and you look at my eyes and tell me

387
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,879
Speaker 1: not to read the emails. Okay, because you know what,

388
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of stuff for you guys,

389
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Speaker 1: right right? Who brings the donuts? Okay, Cherry, Jerry brings

390
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: two dozen donuts. Do you think Jerry got the doughnuts donuts?

391
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: You guys are animals. Okay, I still mean you stop

392
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Speaker 1: telling me, Damon. If Damien fucking tells me one more time,

393
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: I don't mean especially you, Damon. Especially you know what

394
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Speaker 1: you did. I know what you did with Jerry. They

395
00:24:52,359 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: made out at the Christmas party. I don't even about

396
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: that guy show time. Well it's the Christmas party, you

397
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: know is somebody places husband? Okay, he would talk about

398
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: you in his sleep damon, how do you think that feels.

399
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: I've been waiting all day to Jerry come home. I

400
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 1: try to look nice, Scarra when nice sleep. They were

401
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 1: partners for twelve years kissing. They should not be kissing. Jingle, Hey, damon,

402
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas. Don't care. I'm okay, I'm okay. In the

403
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: cup game. Well, what was that, missletoe? Oh? I guess

404
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 1: it is? Yeah, get away from me. No, you get

405
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: away from me. But I guess, you know, I guess missiletoe.

406
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: So I guess we'll obligating. Yeah, I mean, I'm believe

407
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: in Jesus Christ. You know. Well, I guess we gotta

408
00:25:51,000 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 1: kiss a little bit. That's a real slurping one. Actually,

409
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: I mean like in a funny way, that kind good. Yeah,

410
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're if we're doing jokes and whatnot. Yeah,

411
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: I mean, let's keep the bit going, right, I mean,

412
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: you know, follow the funny, that's what they fo. You

413
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 1: gotta heighten it a little bit, yeah, you know, I mean,

414
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: maybe bring it back lady. So whatever you guys said

415
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: at that party and then you started taking more improv classes,

416
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,719
Speaker 1: all of you fuckheads are supposed to be protecting and

417
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: serving and yet I'm going to your shows at eleven.

418
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: We can get fifteen dollars and happen to buy two beers.

419
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 1: I gotta kid, I paid for a babysitter to go

420
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: to your shows. Were all kissing. It was a great improviser. Okay,

421
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 1: Jim was, but Jerry was. Okay, who was good? Jerry was?

422
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: All right? You take that back. It was all right.

423
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: I thought Jerry was great. Damon's getting off feisty over

424
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 1: this some something right now about Copro? What is it? Bobby?

425
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: All right, two guys get on the stage, whether then

426
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 1: they want to connect with each Other's hard to do

427
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: every day. We're depend on the pavement. We've got tools

428
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: on the belt. I'm sorry, Bobby, but I recall a

429
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 1: scene with you and the sage that changed my life.

430
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: I did. I remember that. I thought it was a

431
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: big deal. It was such a great scene. Man, I

432
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: was bullshit, dude, wasn't bullshit. It was a great scene.

433
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: I remember that scene. That was good. You guys have

434
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 1: some good moments. I'm not negating that. But I'm here

435
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: as a widow. Remember was that night that Kevin Pollock

436
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: was in the audience, shouted out a suggestion and you guys,

437
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 1: improvised up suggestions day and gentlemen, welcome to the can

438
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,240
Speaker 1: Can Club. We got some really hot teams for you.

439
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: We got all that in the bag of chips. We

440
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: got made up on the spot, and now we have

441
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: some cop prob anybody, everybody in the audience. Can we

442
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: get a suggestion? How about from you, sir? Yeah? How

443
00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: about one of you guys, Hie, One of those is

444
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: my husband, Kevin Pollocks on. My tips are terrific. The second, honey,

445
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: could one of you be like a therapist in a

446
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: prison and the other ones in inmate. I know that's

447
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: tough for cops to think, but something like that. Alright, alright, alright,

448
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: I'll I'll be a therapist. Hold on, we like to

449
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 1: talk this out really quick before we start. Just I'll

450
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: be a way stuff. Okay, you said I was a prisoner, right, yeah, alright, murder,

451
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: All right, here we go. I'm gonna play a chair.

452
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 1: Oh that works, damon? Yeah. So you know I did it,

453
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: and uh I regret it. M You know, I made

454
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: a I made a gut move I thought was I

455
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: thought I was defending something that wasn't even mine. You know,

456
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: I realized that now and Uh. Every day I wake

457
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: up and I feel the soul that I took. That's hilarious.

458
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: Oh do you feel good about it? No? I just said,

459
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: what's this? What's this behind your ear? As a cat?

460
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you can't have a cat in prison.

461
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: And um, I want to go to sleep. I see,

462
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: I see the wounds and they get bigger. And when

463
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: I go inside the wounds, I see myself, when I

464
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: see my family, and I see what could have been

465
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:34,479
Speaker 1: the damage I did. Oh my god. He left right

466
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: after that. All right, So I don't know how good

467
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: that was. You know what I'm saying. It was a

468
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: fantastic scene whatever, whatever, whatever, equal amounts moving and I'm

469
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: grieving here and you know you don't mean it to God.

470
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: I got guns too, okay. Oh, I got the emails. Honey.

471
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: I know who else has been kissing. You've all been kissing.

472
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: You guys lock each other in the cells and you

473
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: take turns of the emails. Everybody's kissing at night from

474
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: the weird No, it's not weird. Okay. We're trying to

475
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: get into the minds of the of the criminals kissing

476
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: criminals kissing criminals, and our inprov teacher says, we've got

477
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: to be more empathetic. So, but the niece, I think

478
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: we all know why it is. You're getting all loud

479
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: this need this evening. Well, my husband's dead. Love to

480
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: stay that, it's none of that. What is it that,

481
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: Mr genius? You want to do this right now? I

482
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: think I do. Okay, bring it on. I know this,

483
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know. Okay, yeah, hand it up.

484
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: Everybody looking at me. Yeah, we only got thirty more minutes.

485
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: Can I have another drink? Please? At the lights? Please?

486
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: I want I want to there in service. Yes, I

487
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: want a wine. Okay, we'll pink pink wine. You want

488
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: red and white? Jesus Christ. Want me to bring up

489
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: like a special or yeah yeah, yeah, yeah special Denise.

490
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask every man in this room to raise

491
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: that hand if they've made love to you, and we're

492
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: gonna see what's gonna happen on the count of three. One.

493
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: I'm interested too, three Jesus Christ, everyone here, holy ship

494
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: at all fairness. It's just if you sleep with Summer,

495
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: you've slept with everybody they've slept with, and I slept

496
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: with Jerry, so that the same thing I was going

497
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: to say I did not sleep with a sage and

498
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: I was. I'm just saying I slept with everyone. Jerry

499
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 1: slept with curiously through Jerry. Are we raising the hands?

500
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: If we stop with Jerry, let's do let's do that.

501
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: Let's do it one through a ready. Wait, wait, I

502
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: want that music and let me get that let me

503
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: get that special back. Thank you? All right, everybody, on

504
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 1: the count of three, raise your hand if you slept

505
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 1: with Jerry. I hold on, I haven't said everybody raised

506
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: her head. Everybody you don't know I did it like

507
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: a million times. Well you were his wife? Yeah, sorry,

508
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: I'll wait for three. No, it's okay. The experiments over.

509
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: The point is you're mad somehow. You're mad at us

510
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: because maybe you love all of us. Maybe it didn't

511
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: love Jerry. Maybe you are part of the reason why

512
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: his death was so suspicious. I don't know. It was

513
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: nothing suspicious. He died in the line of duty because

514
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 1: people out of here suspicious. We got the room. Hold

515
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: where we want. Hold on. That's Kevin polla come in,

516
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: Kevin Poll can come in? Can you sign my Willow poster?

517
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: You remember me? Hi? Hi? You sign the Kingking my husband.

518
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: Jerry's dead. You came to our cup prop and made

519
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: my agent for dinner. Well, we were in a kind

520
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: of a heated moment. I didn't mean interrupt. Oh. We

521
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: take you now to a high rise of office building

522
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: in downtown Los Angeles for the reading of the will.

523
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: M alright, gather rounds everyone. Uh, okay, I'm not sure

524
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: why I printed out copies of the will for everyone. Um,

525
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: what page are we starting on? We're gonna start on one.

526
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: We tried to save paper by doing front and back,

527
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: so we went double sided. But only half of them

528
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: are broken back. That's fine, I'll figure it out. Okay, Well,

529
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with with page one of the will

530
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: once again, my okay, I have it. I have it.

531
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: Please stop stop shuffling the papers trying to find which

532
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,479
Speaker 1: is page one? Okay, it's got a big one on

533
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: the front. It is quite a lengthy will with a

534
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: lot of complicated coddessils. It's a fancy lawyer word. I

535
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: don't know that word. It's uh, you know, a coddessil. No,

536
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: I don't, Just like, how do I break it down?

537
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: Just a simple way? Can you use a coddessil in

538
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 1: a sentence? He just did and we didn't understand well

539
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: he was using the word coddessil. Guys, please, Ari, I

540
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: just want to say that our dad loved you very

541
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: much and we're very happy that it's you who's doing

542
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: He's not going to give you anything more rounding it.

543
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 1: I hate you all as you all know. You're your

544
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: father and husband's finances were very complicated. Ah. He had

545
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of pots cooking and a

546
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: lot of different places. Um. So we're going to begin

547
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: with are those the caddessils. I'm going to get to

548
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 1: the coddessils. Gonna start with the with the provisions, and

549
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: then we're gonna move on to the consessils. Okay, Provision

550
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: number one. Page here we go, Page one, the bulk

551
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 1: of of my home, your home. This is it's written. Well,

552
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: then read it in his voice. That's a good point. Okay,

553
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: confusing to hear two. I agree, I do do what

554
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: pretty good? Jeremiah, da Dad? Is that you? That was

555
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: so weird? That was still me? Still? Um, but it

556
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: gets a little lower lower, red, little puff, little gruff.

557
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: You're not going to get more teach you. Okay, this

558
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: is me Ari doing a Jeremiah voice, very very good

559
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 1: provision number one. Really, thank you, thank you? Do you

560
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 1: do any other impersonations or I do? Uh Morgan Freeman,

561
00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: can we do you mind if well still read the okay,

562
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 1: thank you? Okay. The Bulk of my Home. I mean

563
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: it's okay, that's alright, I'm working, Okay, I'm gonna go

564
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: back to the Jeremiah, what do you have any others?

565
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: Or can you just get to it? Um, you're not

566
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 1: going to get more. You're not gonna get they're baiting

567
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 1: each other. The Bulk of my Home, Ramsey Manner. We'll

568
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 1: go to my lawyer. What the what the fuck? Hold

569
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: the phone? Stop disagree, I'm sorry. Stop you're on page one.

570
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 1: Stop stop no, no, no, no. It should be not

571
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: given Tory. It just says the bulk. It said that

572
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: it's going to be divided up further. But yes, excuse

573
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. Bulk means big, that's big of

574
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 1: it goes to Ari define book big. I think it's

575
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a direct synonym. I mean

576
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 1: it's the big, the largest part, the big of it.

577
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 1: It's going to Ari. This is strange. Did you know

578
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 1: this is gonna happen? I'm just I'm reading this in

579
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: the moment as you guys are. I didn't want a daughter,

580
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 1: but this hurts. He definitely didn't. I'm not surprised. It

581
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: doesn't even it doesn't even sting that party. You were

582
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: the big of his problems. You're the big. Keep reading. Oh,

583
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 1: moving on to the cutestile, kindly fine other sections of

584
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: Ramsey Manner. Are we still on page one? I'll let you,

585
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 1: I will say, flip when we go to page two.

586
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: Other sections of Ramsey Manner, Flip. Get those people out

587
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: of here. They're part of the family. They can be here.

588
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: You're not going to get more. You're not going to

589
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,839
Speaker 1: get more other sections of Ramsey man Back on page one.

590
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: Just back on one, back on one second, back on one.

591
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: Other sections. So we didn't flip. Other sections of Ramsey Manner. Flip.

592
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: I'm on page three, Okaya, flip your page. When I

593
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: say flipped, it's on the same page on the other side.

594
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 1: Other sections of Ramsey man What are we doing with

595
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,479
Speaker 1: the cats? Are the cats gonna get tiv up about

596
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 1: the cats? I don't know what does cottessial mean? True

597
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: or false? We'll be divided equally among my issue? What's

598
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,919
Speaker 1: his issue? What is your deal besides not wanting your daughter?

599
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 1: What was his issue? Okay, what's up, Elijah? Yeah, I

600
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 1: just want to Can I say something on the record?

601
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: Are can you put this on the record? Okay, this

602
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: is all being recorded, by the way, we all hate Elijah.

603
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 1: I'm an architect and I'm very successful. So they're mad

604
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 1: he designed a seven eleven and guess what it looks

605
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 1: like the rest of the seven elevens. That's at the point.

606
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: Hard to do that? How hard it is to do that.

607
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: You're like one of those people that see modern are

608
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: and say I can do that. Yeah, that's what you are.

609
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: You're a person that was never loved. I don't know

610
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: a lot about architecture, but that that's a good gig.

611
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 1: Seven seven eleven account, Thank you. Ari. Ari knows business.

612
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: It's more like a construction thing than architecture. You know,

613
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: they draw it first. You just copied what you've what

614
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: they all are. It's hard to do when I say issue. No,

615
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 1: this is ari as Jeremiah. When I say issue, I

616
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 1: mean my children. It's a fancy legally's way of seeing children.

617
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: And now we take it to the last Easter dinner

618
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,280
Speaker 1: that they all celebrated together. That have these mash potatoes

619
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: I made? Alright, alright, don't worry. I'll eat everyone's potatoes.

620
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: Did you notice I've been getting more masculine. Yeah, I have.

621
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: I've been happy with that. The hot dogs here? He

622
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,280
Speaker 1: can't you put work aside? Elijah for once? So proud

623
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: of this? Of course, of course? And do you have

624
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 1: any suggestions? Where's the slurping machine? Oh? You know where

625
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 1: that is? Back left? You know, I've been creating teeth

626
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: for kids born without teeth, um, and they're coming along,

627
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: awesome teeth. For keeping creating teeth for kids born without teeth. Well, Dad,

628
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: you said you wanted a son that was productive, and

629
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: I'm doing the best I can. I've noticed a lot

630
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: of kids were born without teeth, and I have a

631
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 1: three and some born without teeth. But then the teeth

632
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 1: grow in when well as they as they age. You

633
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 1: don't you don't need fake teeth. Let them be baby failure. Guys,

634
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: can we just say a quick grace before we eat? Yes, yes,

635
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 1: Elijah do I'll do it. M M. Dear God, dear God,

636
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much for today, thank you so much

637
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 1: for tonight, Thank you so much for the cats that

638
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: I have in stable. Ben, she stopped. I don't have

639
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 1: a prayer. Do not stop in the middle of a prayer.

640
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 1: God listening. I want to say thank you to Dad,

641
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 1: thank you Benjie for always being there when I didn't

642
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 1: know where the light was. It's usually in the semi eleven.

643
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 1: It's like it's the whole. It's where they all are.

644
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 1: And I just want to say thank you Elijah and

645
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 1: what and Margot Jesus Christ. I'm glad you said it

646
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 1: because I was blank, right, you forget Margot um whatever.

647
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: That's not a prayer. And Tyler m hm always being

648
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: there for when we needed it, but never being there

649
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 1: when we didn't know. Dad again, I just want to say,

650
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 1: I know it's in the stars. We're gonna have a

651
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: hundred more Easters together. That's impossible for you, but for

652
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: me and Dad it's possible. I hate you. I hate

653
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: You're not going to get more of the mashed potatoes.

654
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: What do you mean You're not going to give me them?

655
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,840
Speaker 1: Back to the reading of the will, We're on page

656
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: four CODSSIL number twenty flips. I still don't get it.

657
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 1: The cats. Finally, the cats will be donated to a shelter.

658
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: That's good. That's good. Okay, here we go. Here's the show.

659
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: Because spang and now to ring your pants is something

660
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: that very human being needs to do. I'm working on it.

661
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,440
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Benji. Tell us how we're all terrible people,

662
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: terrible people. Tell us how you love the cats. Tell

663
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: us how you loved dad. Tell me how I'm not

664
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: gonna get anything in your babies. Don't need tea. Don't

665
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: tell yourself that you're the best. I am the best.

666
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 1: And tell Ari that you love him. Tell Ari that

667
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:36,959
Speaker 1: you love him, Tell Ari that you love him. Ari,

668
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: I'm listening. I am. I can't say you love me,

669
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 1: can't you? Dad? Yeah, it's me. It's your dad, Daddy, Daddy, daddy, daddy.

670
00:43:56,320 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 1: I'm still and I know of the youth voterers would

671
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 1: be all over my fortune. That's right, Ari, to the

672
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: one who's dead. We hope you've enjoyed alchemy. This right

673
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 1: to us. If you dare. With your comments, as well

674
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:22,840
Speaker 1: as suggestions for possible scenarios for group, be as specific

675
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: as possible with characters and setting, let your mind expand

676
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 1: and share. I want to thank today's participants the alchemy.

677
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: This players just called him that just now also right

678
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: to us with your suggestions of what they would be called.

679
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: Do so at your name here at alchemy this dot com.

680
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: That part is not a joke. That's the name of

681
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:56,439
Speaker 1: the email. Your name here at alchemy this dot com.

682
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 1: All right, let's go around and say thanks Chris Alvarado,

683
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: thank you so much, Thank you for having me. That

684
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: was so much fun, super groovy. Anything you'd like to

685
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: share with the fine folks, and you know already you

686
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: can always find me at at Joey Greer anything that's

687
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: all social media platforms at Joey Greer, at you or anything.

688
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski, thank you so much, so excited to be

689
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 1: an a t P. Yeah, I like it at Kikowski

690
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: on Twitter, drunk History on Comedy Central. Nicely done, Greer stir.

691
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 1: I just want to say, you know, we came in

692
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: here with a with a plan, and sometimes sometimes it happen,

693
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 1: sometimes it doesn't. And the thing that if there's one

694
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: thing that we can always have, you know, check me

695
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: out at Chris Alvarado at Chris Alvarado and just hit

696
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: me up on Thank you folks, Please a be seated

697
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: until the end. James Heney, what do you got for too.

698
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: Great times. Great times. If you get the opportunity to

699
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: check out the real James Heney on YouTube, there you go.

700
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 1: Love to habit. But as to tell us about that

701
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 1: damn theater, honey, I'd love to located in the heart

702
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: of some part of Los Angeles that I'm still not

703
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,799
Speaker 1: quite sure aware. You can find Dynasty Typewriter at the

704
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: Hayworth to eleven will Share. The website is Dynasty Typewriter

705
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: dot com. It's a beautiful Art Deco theater built a

706
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 1: ninety six and now filled with all the modern amenities

707
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: you could want, including a popcorn and yeah, two fog machines,

708
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 1: one piano, limitless possibilities, love it and hunted for those

709
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: of you really that sort of thing. All right? You

710
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: want to thank Raphael? Uh, yeah, dog, I'll get the

711
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: pronunciation of his last name, which I probably should have

712
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 1: done before we got in here so I could thank

713
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: him properly. But thank you so much our engineered for

714
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: today boom? Should we go with bom? Not even close?

715
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: All right? Good to know again? Right to us at

716
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. I'm your host,

717
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 1: Kevin and polic Until next time,