WEBVTT - The Star Wars Holiday Special of 1978 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:04.280 Welcome to you stuff you should know Frondhouse Stuff Works 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:13.000 dot Com. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:17.959 Clark with Charles W. Chuckers Bryant and Jerry Jerome Role. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:24.439 And uh, it was the Wookie mother. Yeah, Mala, that 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.840 was the Wookie wife. Oh and mother. Yeah sure, Chebacca's 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.280 mom is not with them any longer. She left. She 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:34.400 was not about to appear in that. She went out 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:38.720 the window. I'm excited about this. I have to say 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:43.120 we should say Happy Star Wars Day. Yeah, today is 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:48.080 um December. Um, I have my opening night tickets? Do 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:54.720 you really sure? Wow? You know? I do you into it? Oh? Yeah, 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:56.720 well I will definitely go see it in the theater, 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:59.800 but um, why won't be the opening night? Sure, I've 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:04.280 got I'm really adept at like ignoring spoilers, people talking 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.200 about stuff all like, so I can I could conceivably 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.320 see this movie a month after it comes out and 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:16.720 still going fresh. I'm an ostrich. Yeah you black yourself out, Yeah, 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:21.200 you go dark. I moved myself go to sleep, faith, 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:24.520 you go to the dark side. I've been there a 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:27.360 while now. Uh, well, Happy Star Wars Day, though, I'm 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.759 sure that I think this pairs nicely with Christmas. Star 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:34.199 Wars Day. It's all come together. Yes, Um, we already 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.640 missed Life Day though, so happy belated Life Day. Are 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:41.000 they celebrating it this year? No? Yeah, but it's every 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:47.040 three years. Mm hmm our cane man, nice job. Okay, 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:50.800 so it's every three years, started in nine eight. Let's 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:55.480 do the math, shall we? Mm hmmm, quick math break. 0:01:55.520 --> 0:02:00.520 I believe that two thousand fourteen was the last Life Day. Man, 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.360 we just missed, and then again in seventeen. Okay, soeen 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:06.800 we'll celebrate Life Day. Will put on our red robes, 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:12.480 are ultralong, straight ironed wigs, and we'll celebrate Life Day 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:14.760 the way it was meant to. And if you have 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:17.320 no idea what we're talking about, we are talking about 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:22.560 Life Day, which is a celebration, uh that wookies in 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:25.200 the Star Wars universe have every three years. Yeah, it's 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:31.200 like their Christmas or their Quanta. Supposedly, it's sort of 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.519 like Earth Day too. They celebrate the diversity of their 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:37.600 ecosystem and also remembrance of the dead, and they also 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:41.240 give the gifts the fins. Basically, yeah, it's a it's 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.560 a very interesting part of the Star Wars canon. It is, 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.880 and it's almost entirely made up, dashed off you could 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:52.919 possibly say, by um George Lucas in the seventies. Um. 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:58.680 And it's the basis of what is become derided as 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.639 like one of the worst things that ever happened to 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.320 the Star Wars galaxy. Well, not only that, one of 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:07.960 the worst things ever aired on television. Yeah, this galaxy. Yeah, 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.760 at first that sounds like hyperbole, like, come on, it's 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:14.760 because it was Star Wars. We had high expectations. But 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.920 it's really that bad. Yeah. The people who say that 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:20.120 haven't seen even a second of it. Yeah, however, I 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:23.600 watched it, uh when I was a kid, then again 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.200 this week, and you watched it twice this week. Yeah, 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.840 I watched it last night and this morning. There's something 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:32.840 about it. It's mesmerizing, it really is. It's one of 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:36.440 those things that you start watching it and you want 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.880 to turn it off, but you want to see just 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:42.680 how absurd it can get. Almost Yeah, and it starts absurd, 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.400 it stays absurd. In the middle, it's increasingly more absurd, 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.520 it's a little less absurd, finishes super absurd. Yeah, it's 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.120 just a train wreck in every single sense of the 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.760 word to bottom. It's extraordinarily difficult to overstate how bad 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.840 this is. And some people have, you know, in researching this, 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:03.640 you read about it, you read descriptions of these things, 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:07.480 and it just can't possibly be gotten across until you 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.080 see it. So luckily, as we will see, you can 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:13.000 go onto YouTube and watch it, and you may even 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.520 enjoy this episode more if you pause, go spend two 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:20.400 hours watching this thing and then come back and laugh 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:22.880 along with us. Yeah, there's a great Over the years, 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:25.720 there have been many segments of it on YouTube from 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:30.320 badly VHS tapes, but there's one really pretty good version 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:34.520 of it in full UM brought to you by w 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:38.839 h I O Dayton, Ohio, channel seven. Because that flashes 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:43.400 up on the screen periodically. Man, it is high quality. 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.479 It looks good, and it has to basically be the 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:50.599 copy that the actual UM affiliate broadcast. It's like that 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.680 that quality compared to the other stuff floating around on YouTube, 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:59.120 clearly recorded on the r which we're really expensive, very expensive. 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.039 I did some calcula aiding on west Egg okay, UM, 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.800 so the average VCR went for about a thousand dollars. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.320 There were brand new it's amazing thousand dollars in nine money, 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.680 so they're about thirty eight hundred dollars in two thousand 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.800 fourteen money. Luckily, there were some rich people out there 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:18.039 recording this stuff, and the wealthy have saved us all 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:22.520 again yet again, as they always do. We need to 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:25.000 shout out some articles that we used for this. There's 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:28.000 great a great article in Vanity Fair called the Han 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:33.480 Solo Comedy Our exclamation Point by Frank did Jacomo. And 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.080 then there's uh, the Star Wars Holiday Special was the 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:39.159 worst thing on television ever by so when we kind 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:43.320 of know Alex Pasternack uh from Motherboard, yeah, which is 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:47.320 uh not wired, it's uh vice. We wrote a little 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.480 bit for Motherboard back then, and we had a call 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:53.680 that like we're like old Motherboard vets basically, and when 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:56.280 they're one more, there was another one and I don't 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:00.040 know who wrote this one, chuck Uh, Yeah, it's the 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:03.080 the titles the Star Wars Holiday Special. George Lucas wants 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:06.160 to smash every copy of with a sledgehammer, which was 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.599 a famous quote, uh supposedly at a convention by Lucas, yes, 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.400 which is not correct. He didn't ever say that. No, 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.479 Okay that that sounded like something that people made up. Yes, 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.919 but if you go on the internet, you will quickly 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.240 believe that he did better. Apparently didn't. So let's I'm 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:24.120 sure he felt that way though, clearly because he did 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.760 appear on Robot Chicken and I think two thousand five 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.000 on the therapist couch talking about how much he hated 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.200 this special. Alright, so let's set the background, shall we 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:37.120 Shall we go back to summer, getting the old way 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:45.640 back machine. All right, let's do it all right here 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.760 we are, there's Waterson. Yeah, I'm just a little six 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:52.480 year old excited about Star Wars. I am. I've just 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.920 turned one. Yes, you don't know what's up yet. I 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:59.320 please forgive me if I urinate myself, no problem. Okay, 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.320 So what has happened is Star Wars has become a huge, 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:08.120 huge hit, seemingly out of nowhere, establishing George Lucas is 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.720 one of the brilliant young minds and filmmaking, even though 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:14.239 when his first movie it was his first huge, huge 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.840 breakout hit. Oh yeah, for sure, talk I mean talk 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.320 about a breakout hit like no one had ever seen 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.280 anything like it before. Two thousand one had come out 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:26.480 in the late sixties, but it wasn't it's still it 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.680 still isn't accessible to all audiences. You know, it's of 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.640 cerebral film. Yeah, it's not an adventure movie. This was 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:36.400 This is like basically swashbuckling on the screen. But you know, 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.280 in a galaxy far far away. Star Wars just changed 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:43.080 everything and it came on just like a hammer. Um, 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.720 there's a new hope by the way, yes, and then 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:48.360 then we're gonna get stuff wrong, nerds, So yes, just 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:51.040 go ahead and get your little fingers ready to email us, 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:52.800 like if it wasn't driven home that I'm not a 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:55.120 nerd by the fact that I don't have opening night 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.280 tickets or any tickets yet, give me a break, and 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:03.960 by proxy chuck to Okay. So, um, it's it's hard 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:08.600 to stay how great Star Wars was in everyone's mind, right. 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:11.800 Bill Murray came out with that lounge singer Star Wars thing. 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:14.200 It was everywhere and if you if you just listen 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:17.000 to the lyrics of it, he's really it's just Bill 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:20.080 Murray singing about how much Star Wars is awesome. Right. 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:26.120 So by the following year, Um, George Lucas was he 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.680 wanted to figure out a way to keep audiences just 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.360 engaged with the whole Star Wars franchise that he was 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.200 just starting to build. But he knew the Empire Strikes 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:39.240 Back was a couple more years out, so um he 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.559 I think he was approached by some TV executives who said, 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:46.720 have you considered doing some sort of TV special? They're 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:49.240 all the rage right now. We have a we have 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:52.320 a graphic that's really awesome that we set aside just 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:56.319 for TV specials here at CBS. Why don't you let 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.760 us let's get together and do a Star Wars special. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:03.160 That's right. Producers Gay R. Smith and Dwight him me on, Uh, 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:05.679 we're working over at CBS, and they said, this is 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.280 a great way to keep the spirit alive while you're 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.760 making your other movie. Maybe move some more toys, yeah, 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:17.480 which George Lucas got. So it was right before Thanksgiving, 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:18.839 and he said, there'll be a lot of people watching 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:22.200 TV um pre holiday season or I guess in the 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:26.280 holiday season. Well, the weekend before Thanksgiving, it's like everybody's shopping, 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:29.840 sitting around family like waiting to actually do stuff. That's right, 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:32.800 perfect time to broadcast something on TV. So Lucas says, 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:36.360 all right, let's do this. I don't have a ton 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.920 of time, but how about this. I'll get I'll get 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.640 a story together, and then you can go hire a 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:45.080 whiz bang team of of veteran writers and producers and 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.880 directors whatever genre you think is appropriate. And those are 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.920 the words that will haunch on George Lucas to his grave. Yeah, 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.800 so Lucas said, here's my idea. I wanted to be 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:59.600 based um on Wookies, and I wanted to take place 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:04.280 on home planet of Kazook or Wookie planet. See. Is 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.760 that you say ka zook? That's how it's pronounced in 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.720 the episode the Holiday Special, but it's also pronounced different ways. 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:15.640 Other times. I would have pronounced that cashi e e 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:20.120 got spell it k A s h y y y k, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.880 which I mean. I guess that sounds like Chewbuck's planet sure, 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:28.600 also called G five Wookie planet see or Eaton is 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:31.920 a mid rim planet. Right. So the whole reason, apparently 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:34.920 that George Lucas was interested in featuring the Bookies was 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:39.040 it is what we in show business call low hanging fruit. 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:41.839 The reason why it was low hanging fruit was because 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:46.040 they had just established the different scenes that would make 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:50.400 the cut for Empire Strikes Back, and uh, what how 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:53.559 did you pronounce it? Again? Kazook. Kazook had not made 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:57.000 the cut. Uh. Even prior to this, apparently for a 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.440 new hope, George Lucas had whipped up a forty page 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.000 what's known is the Wookie Bible. It's like a forty 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:07.559 page supplement that's all about Kazook and Wookies and Chewbacca 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:11.839 and his family and everything about wookie. Um. Right, so 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.960 he's like, I've got this thing already. You know established 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.160 I love Wookies. Um, they didn't make the cut. I'm 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.520 a little sad about that. They're not gonna Kazook is 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.280 not gonna show up in an Empire Strikes Back. Let's 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.400 let's build the entire special around Wookies. It's basically the 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:31.400 one demand me George Lucas has. That's it. I'll be 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:33.960 totally hands off from this point on which kind of 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:37.360 was He totally wasn't. It was actually this experience that 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.320 apparently taught him to be the very hands on person 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.520 that he is famous for being. It came out of 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.679 this Christmas special. Absolutely he was burned, and um, he 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:51.640 was iron grip after that on everything. So here's some 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.160 some of the folks behind it. Bruce Balanche, famous uh 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.720 TV writer. You've probably seen him on Hollywood Squares. Wasn't 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.320 he suspected of being Thomas pinch On for a while, 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.000 So I don't know, or was Thomas pinch On on 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:07.640 Hollywood Squares? I have no idea. I may be confabulating 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:11.000 some stuff confounding. Yeah, there's some con of some sort 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:14.120 going on that sounds like it. So Valanche was hired 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:18.240 as a writer. A guy named Lenny RiPPs was hired 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.280 as a writer, who has some great quotes in that 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.960 Vanity Fair article he does. His first quote was, we 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.040 were really excited because this is Star Wars. How could 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:31.559 it lose? Famous last words? Who else was hired? There 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:35.920 was a husband and wife team, the welch Is, who 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:41.080 are the parents of of folk singer Gillian Welch. I'm 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.120 a big fan of and I had no idea that 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:47.120 her parents. They were producers slash songwriters of the day. 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.040 They were big on the variety show scene, which would 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.520 turn out to be a really key cog in this 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:56.200 whole experience. So I feel like, right about here, Jerry 0:12:56.240 --> 0:13:01.640 should insert a needle coming off of our record sound effect. Okay, 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:06.720 thanks Jerry, So Chuck, you just said singer songwriters. What 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.240 would that have to do with Star Wars. Yeah, well, actually, 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.600 in this Star Wars holiday special for those of you 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:16.559 hadn't seen it, there are musical numbers. They decided from 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.960 the outset that there should be musical numbers. And the 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.800 reason that they decided that there should be musical numbers 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.880 is because the people who sold George Lucas, and at 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:27.760 the time it was started, the Star Wars Corporation was 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.840 what it was called um On. The idea of doing 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.680 this TV special was that everyone would love a variety show. 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.760 Great idea, Let's do a variety show. The problem was this, 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.439 Apparently George Lucas didn't watch enough TV and he also 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:47.480 overly trusted people who talked to him because by yes, 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:53.000 variety shows had dominated television for over ten years, but 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.280 it had come to an end. It was getting stale. Yeah, 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.720 we're talking to Carol Burnett show. One of my favorite 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:03.080 had just been canceled for eleven season. Sunny and Chair 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.920 had just had its last season. Yeah, I mean what else, 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.040 like he Hall was he I was still going on 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:13.760 probably think still on solid golden yet to come on 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:16.480 and take up the mantel that that would never write 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.360 a show. Oh, it was a little bit and there 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:22.880 was talking in between the songs. Remember the Mandrell's Sister show. 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:25.840 I never watched that one. Well, it was with that 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:29.440 country chic thing that happened. It was a big deal 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.360 in the It's kind of happening again. I think, oh, 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.080 because of that dude, the guy who won all the 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.800 c m A Awards. I don't know, he's like, he's 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.120 he came along. He's like, actually country. His dad's like 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:46.640 a coal miner for real from Kentucky. I think something. Yeah, 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:50.000 he's come along and been like, what are you guys doing? Well, 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.640 there's a revival in like good country music. Again, that's 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.960 like in the tradition of Merle Haggard and and I 0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.400 guess that's probably where the country sheet came from, because 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:01.040 there was actually good country going on. Yeah, Johnny Cash 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:05.440 at a variety show. I knew they did like a 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.880 Sunday singing thing like out in Virginia. Yeah, he had 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:10.840 his own variety show. Was actually pretty good. There's some 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.480 like really great performances. Do you know how many nerds 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.840 are like get back to start war? I know, I'm 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.120 so sorry. Alright, So the Variety Show is is dying 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.800 sort of, and so they figured, what a great time 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:26.120 to take the biggest movie property on the planet and 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.680 wedge it into the Variety show milieu. I don't know 0:15:29.720 --> 0:15:32.280 if wedge is the right word. I think maybe uh 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:35.720 nestle it in there and then start hitting it with 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:39.320 the blunt edge of an axe until it mashes into 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.520 that crevice. You know. That's because this is the time 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:46.920 when Fantasy Island had just started, um Mork and Mindy 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:50.520 was about to change things. Charlie's Angels was getting huge. 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:55.680 It basically television as we knew it from two whenever 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.120 the real world came along. Just escape as television is 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.480 what they called it was was starting and it was 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.840 the hip new thing. So basically, if they had turned 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:07.360 Han Solo and Princess Leiah and Luke Skywalker into maybe 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:11.680 you know, sexy detectives, it might have gone over even better. 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.040 But they went the other way. They decided to latch 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:19.720 onto this extraordinarily stale um genre of television, and they 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.800 hired the best in the business, like there was there was. 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:24.720 There was a quote from I think Lenny RiPPs, who 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:28.280 was saying like we had literally a dream team, a 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:33.000 variety show dream team, and everybody was good, but there 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.400 were probably no bad welders on the Titanic. He there, 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.000 that's a great quote. Yeah. The guy they hired to 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:40.720 direct it initially was a dude named David A. Coomba, 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.160 and he had made his name, uh for Welcome to 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.720 the fillmore East. It was a concert documentary with Van 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:50.800 Morrison Van Morrison and the Birds in nineteen seventy one, 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.960 and he actually was at usc Film School at the 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.640 same time as Lucas, even though they didn't know each other. 0:16:56.280 --> 0:17:00.120 And um, he only ended up directing about three segments 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.000 of the thing before he quit, yea, before he walked off. 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.680 Some say he was actually let go, but we'll get 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.520 to him in a minute and who replaced him. As 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.520 as we get along down this uh gross road, well, 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:36.240 let's let's take a little break because I'm I'm overly excited. Okay, okay, alright, 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.920 so we've established most of the main players. We'll we'll 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.439 get to a few more. We should point out that um, 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:47.640 Mark hamill And and Harrison Ford and Carrie Fischer, Peter Mayhew, 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:52.680 they had no grounds to refuse to be on this basically, yeah, 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:55.639 pretty much. They were not huge, huge stars, yet they 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.600 could throw their weight around and say this is terrible 0:17:57.640 --> 0:17:59.600 and I'm not doing it. They were. They were big 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.400 overnight because of Star Wars, for sure, but they weren't 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.960 to the adoring public back at the studio. They could 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.560 still be bossed around. And this is the result of it. 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.480 And you can tell also, um, just from watching the 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:17.520 actual special, Like Harrison Ford is not happy to be 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:24.320 there at any point, Um, Princess Leiah is clearly on drugs. Uh. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.399 Was she on drugs at this point? She? If you 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.679 watch it, she's she's on drugs. Especially the ending scene. 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.959 Mark Campbell, it looks like he's happy to be there. 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:36.920 Actually he was fine, but apparently he said no, I'm 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.040 I'm not doing a musical number. And if you watch 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.800 his part, wedging a musical number in there would have 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:47.840 been even more painful. Um. But they everybody who was 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.840 part of the actual Star Wars franchise that wasn't wearing 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:54.760 like a full body costume was like, I really wish 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:57.320 I wasn't here, And you can tell. Yeah. In fact, 0:18:57.400 --> 0:19:01.600 in the opening uh credit sequence, they're showing the picture 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:04.359 that you know the faces of the people, and you 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:06.840 see Harrison Ford as if he's flying the Millennium Falcon, 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:08.720 and you can you can just hear the guy off 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:11.240 screen going, now, look at the camera and just give 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.480 a nod. Just look at the camera and give a nod. 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:15.639 And he finally you can tell he's piste off and 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.439 he looks up at the camera and just sort of 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:19.960 smirks yeah, and points at the camera like Okay, I'm 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.040 looking at the camera, and then to what he's doing. Yeah, 0:19:23.080 --> 0:19:25.399 it's pretty awesome. I felt bad for him so early 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.480 on Valanche and others did. Did you feel bad for him? Though? Really? 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.199 I mean, like, come on, it's Harrison Ford's Hans Solo. 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.200 He has to go do this for like five days. Yeah, 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:39.919 I felt terrible for him. I think it's hilarious that 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.040 they had to do this, especially now. Well, early on 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.200 Valanche and others knew that they may be in trouble 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:49.800 because they decided not to subtitle any of the Wookie dialogue, 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:53.200 and they literally started after a brief opening scene setting 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:57.080 it up here. Here's the basic plot is Han Solo 0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:00.439 is trying to get Chewbacca back to Kazook time for 0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:03.800 life day so we can celebrate with his family. That's 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:07.200 the basis of the entire two US bases. The entire 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:11.040 two hours. They encounter a space battle and they're delayed, 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:14.040 and the next two hours are kind of what's going 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:18.440 on while the delay is happening. Back back on Kazook 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:21.719 because you hear, like, okay, well, Han Solo and Chewbacca 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.080 evading the Imperial Guard and all that stuff for two hours. 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.719 I would watch that. I would too. That's not what 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:32.240 they show. Killing time at the Wookie household, that is 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:35.840 what they show. That's what they do. It's people hanging 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:39.800 out waiting for Chewbacca, worrying about him, and then killing 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:42.760 time while they wait for him to come back. Literally, 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:45.200 so um and so hold on. So you say there's 0:20:45.200 --> 0:20:48.560 a setup, right, Yeah, that's the initial setup and then chuck. 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:55.040 That's followed by this. Yeah, it's followed by literally ten minutes, 0:20:55.440 --> 0:21:00.760 ten solid minutes of incomprehensible Wookie speak. So let's let's 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:02.760 join it for a second, shall we. Yeah, let's all 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:51.360 enjoy it. And again, you said ten minutes, and you're 0:21:51.400 --> 0:21:54.520 not exaggerating, you're not being hyperbolic. You can time it. 0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:57.600 That's it's ten minutes. Of Bookie's talking to each other 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:01.639 with no subtitles. Fortunately, I couldn't follow it at first, 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:04.680 Like I didn't even know who it was. I thought 0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:08.440 it was might have been Chewbacca's mom and dad. Oh yeah, 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:11.400 that's a little brother. And I don't find out until 0:22:11.440 --> 0:22:15.840 later when Mark Campbell shows up via skype call and says, 0:22:16.160 --> 0:22:20.320 he really explains everything that had just happened, Like, you're 0:22:20.400 --> 0:22:25.960 Chewbacca's father, Itchy, you'r Chewbacca's son, uh Lumpy Lumpy, and 0:22:26.240 --> 0:22:30.720 you're Chewbacca's wife. Oh yeah, thank you. So before everybody 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:34.600 starts like freaking out, we know that that's actually their nicknames. 0:22:35.119 --> 0:22:38.000 Their real names are. His father is h a ti 0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:42.240 chick cook, a tchick cook, it's really hard to pronounce. 0:22:42.320 --> 0:22:45.960 Mulatto Buck is his wife, and his son is lump 0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:50.040 O war Rump but as named by Lucas. But yeah, 0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:55.480 but Lucas also named him Lumpy Itchy and Mala so um. 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.399 They're all back there wringing their hands, trying to figure 0:22:58.400 --> 0:23:01.600 out ways to pass the time until they get word 0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:04.639 from Chewbacca that he's made it to uh what is it, 0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:10.959 ketchuck kaz kazook Um just Ketchup, Ketchup or cats up 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:16.000 if you're fancy. Um. But Chewbacca is having trouble getting 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:22.159 back to Ketchuk because there's Kazook, because there's a blockade 0:23:22.400 --> 0:23:26.040 by the Empire and they're looking for rebels, specifically Chewbacca. 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:28.480 Who I didn't realize this. He's the most famous Wookie 0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:30.760 of all. Did you know that? Yeah, of course I 0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:32.879 didn't know that. Well, I mean he's the only one 0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:36.600 that really appears in the movies. I mean, but we're seeing, like, 0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:40.440 you know, these people's view of the universe. What about 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:44.120 back on Kazook. He might have just been a fly 0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:47.360 by night wookie, right, yeah, but not the case very 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:50.160 famous wookie. Yeah, and he really loved it, like soak 0:23:50.240 --> 0:23:54.480 in his fame. Alright, So he realizes there's a problem Valanche. 0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:57.480 He goes to Lucas and it's like, I don't know, man, 0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:01.080 this is your world, but may not be the strongest 0:24:01.880 --> 0:24:03.879 thing to do to set this in wookie Land and 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:07.720 have all this comprehensible dialogue. And he says he was 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:11.119 met with a glacial stare. Uh. Well he put it 0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:13.880 a little differently than that. Well, he said glacial stair. 0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:17.359 He did the glacial stair that he got was for 0:24:17.800 --> 0:24:21.000 this quote. He said, these people just talk and what 0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:24.119 sounds like fat people having an orgasm. He goes, if 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:25.919 you want, you can set up a tape recorder in 0:24:25.920 --> 0:24:28.840 my bedroom and I'll do all of the follying for it. Yeah. 0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:31.399 He's a large guy, he is, so uh that's what 0:24:31.520 --> 0:24:34.879