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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some

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Speaker 1: ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want

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Speaker 1: to hear the wisdom from two old heads that know

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Speaker 1: more than they know what to do with, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to wait for a quick message from our sponsors

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Speaker 1: for the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My friend tried to frame me for his mistake and

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Speaker 2: it backfired on him.

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Speaker 3: That's the sound.

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Speaker 2: Early in November, we went to pick up car parts

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Speaker 2: after work that my friend I'll call Aaron because his

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Speaker 2: name's Aaron, and I think he's being an idiot, had

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Speaker 2: bought on eBay and you get to go through some

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Speaker 2: back roads to get to the property and picked it

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Speaker 2: up and all was well. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from Floodweight, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash.

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Speaker 4: Okay, story Time suppered it.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to

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Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

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Speaker 2: what you'd do. In the comments, so Op says it

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Speaker 2: had been rating for part of the day, but really

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Speaker 2: picked up when we were loading the parts and we

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Speaker 2: got to a causeway we'd passed only an hour before.

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Speaker 2: It was now covered in what looked like half a

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Speaker 2: meter of water, and we stopped. I'd been navigating and

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Speaker 2: knew we could back up and take another much longer route,

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Speaker 2: even though the highway was just a bit on the

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Speaker 2: other side of the causeway. There was no way I'd

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Speaker 2: go through the water as it looked right now. But

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Speaker 2: because I'd been caught on a causeway twenty years ago

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Speaker 2: and less water and had my car pushed off into

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Speaker 2: the river, I didn't want to risk it. I didn't

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Speaker 2: lose that car, but it's one of the scariest moments

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Speaker 2: of my life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really hard to tell how deep standing water is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, let's not test it.

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Speaker 2: I said we had to turn back and could take

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Speaker 2: a different road ten kilometers around, but that would take

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Speaker 2: us via a bridge over the same river. Aaron decided

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Speaker 2: to push on and started moving. That is not a

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Speaker 2: decision that he should make, just kind of without everyone's,

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Speaker 2: you know, agreement. Aaron decided to push on and started moving,

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Speaker 2: and I panicked and got straight out. It was far

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Speaker 2: more water than I'd have to go through when I

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Speaker 2: nearly lost my car in life before I got out

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Speaker 2: well before the water got through, so I didn't let

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Speaker 2: water in the car. By the way, Aaron didn't even

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Speaker 2: get halfway across, and the water pushed his car off

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Speaker 2: the side, rolled it completely over, and it ended up

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Speaker 2: right on the bank fifty meters downstream. That I would literally,

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Speaker 2: I would literally like, maybe never drive with this guy again.

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Speaker 4: Slash.

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Speaker 2: Also, maybe never be his friend again. If I said, hey,

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Speaker 2: let's not do that. That is incredibly dangerous, you said no,

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Speaker 2: it's fine. He was extremely lucky not to drown, and

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Speaker 2: I ran down and helped him out immediately. He was

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Speaker 2: aggressive and combative because he said with my weight in

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Speaker 2: the car, he could have easily have made it across.

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Speaker 3: That is not that's not true, as that works, as

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Speaker 3: how that works.

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Speaker 2: Come on, I'm sorry he's mad at you because you

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Speaker 2: wanted to get out of the car that immediately flipped over. Admittedly,

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Speaker 2: I'm one hundred and thirty kilograms, but his car is

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Speaker 2: sixteen one hundred and fifty kilograms Commodore wagon with a

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Speaker 2: couple hundred kilograms of eBay parts in the back, so

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Speaker 2: it's not like I'd have made much of a difference.

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Speaker 2: We phone for help, and the river went down within

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Speaker 2: an hour and made it across the causeway by foot.

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Speaker 2: We haven't spoken since, and he's avoided me in places

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Speaker 2: we usually go.

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Speaker 3: And you believe that all he needed to do is

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Speaker 3: wait an hour, wait an hour. He made a decision

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Speaker 3: where his car flipped and.

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Speaker 2: His unusuably now lost that car.

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Speaker 3: Presumably I would assume that's a total loss.

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Speaker 2: But on Friday I received a letter from a lawyer

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Speaker 2: I know is real in our town, but it sounds

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Speaker 2: like it was written by my friend. It's asking for

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Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars for the car and personal damages because

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Speaker 2: I made the car unsafe by getting out. That is

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Speaker 2: such an easy case to get, easy case to win.

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Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, what an easy case to win?

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Speaker 3: Is this leak in court or civil claims?

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Speaker 4: I am no, it just says lawyer.

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Speaker 2: It was a nineteen ninety seven Commodora, maybe worth fifteen

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Speaker 2: hundred on a good day. Someone reassure me it's not

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Speaker 2: up to me to sit in someone's car when they're

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Speaker 2: doing something dumb, is it? No? I'm sorry if you

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Speaker 2: went to a freaking theme park and uh, there was

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Speaker 2: like a loose screw or something, and they were like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, no, you can't get out because your your weight.

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Speaker 2: If you'd get out though the it'll just imbalance the thing.

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Speaker 2: And be like, no, no, I'm not gonna stay in

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Speaker 2: the broken rollercoaster. So why would you stay in a

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Speaker 2: car that you knew was unsafe to go through?

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Speaker 3: It just is just clearly more evidence that this guy's

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Speaker 3: a freaking idiot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, relevant comments wolf cy alone says, So what I

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Speaker 2: gather from this friend wants to cross River washed Road?

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Speaker 2: You say it's a bad idea, he says, Nah, maate,

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Speaker 2: I'm doing it.

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Speaker 4: You get out.

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Speaker 2: At fear of your own safety, friend drives in and

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Speaker 2: car washes away. Your friend blames you because one hundred

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Speaker 2: and thirty kilograms could.

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Speaker 4: Have saved it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds like a crock of crap. I don't

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Speaker 2: think you are liable for crap. However, I would consult

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Speaker 2: an attorney for legal advice pertaining to this situation. You

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Speaker 2: are in imminent danger and acted on it by ensuring

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Speaker 2: your own safety. There's nothing wrong with that. However, do

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Speaker 2: not repost responses here and show them what people say

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Speaker 2: to you, you could be liable for reasons or even

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Speaker 2: be incriminated. Opie says, yeah, that's what happened. I got

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Speaker 2: carried away in a moment of salivating over internet justice.

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Speaker 2: I won't say anything to him about this post, and

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Speaker 2: deleted says you're probably ex friend is an idiot. Hasn't

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Speaker 2: he's seen the If it's flooded, forget it adverts the

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Speaker 2: bloody police put out every time there's a decent amount

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Speaker 2: of rain. It's unlikely that an actual solicitor would have

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Speaker 2: written such a letter of demand, given how patently ridiculous

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Speaker 2: this claim is, but you'll want to double check that's

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Speaker 2: actually the case by calling them directly using a number

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Speaker 2: taken from their website. If they did actually write the letter,

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Speaker 2: just hang tight until you're actually please serve with a lawsuit,

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Speaker 2: get a solicitor of your own at that point, if

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Speaker 2: they didn't write it and you're feeling petty, uttering false

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Speaker 2: documents is an actual criminal offense, so you could daub

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Speaker 2: them into the police personally. I dropped this idiot like

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Speaker 2: a hotspud. Not only did they try to risk your life,

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Speaker 2: they're now trying to extort money from you because they

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Speaker 2: played stupid games and won a stupid prize. Witty and

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Speaker 2: Pithy says, I used to practice law and NSW I

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Speaker 2: am no longer authorized to practice there, and this cannot

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Speaker 2: be relied upon as legal advice, but general advice to

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Speaker 2: inform your next steps. Observe whether the letter of demand

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Speaker 2: states do date and whether they provided you with time

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Speaker 2: to reply. If you do not comply with those dates,

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Speaker 2: then the next step for Aaron is to follow statutory

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Speaker 2: process for reassuring the letter of the demand and until

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Speaker 2: eventually bringing a claim to court for a debt owing.

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Speaker 2: I recommend you look to NSW Statute on the Letter

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Speaker 2: of Demand process. It details the time periods and process.

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Speaker 2: Do not cant the lawyer or speak to Aaron, or

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Speaker 2: write or say anything to them or other people around them.

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Speaker 2: Do not try to write to them about your version

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Speaker 2: of events. If I was advising a client, I would

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Speaker 2: instruct them to delete any Reddit post as well as

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Speaker 2: it is relevant evidence that can be used to cross

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Speaker 2: examine any written evidence you wish to provide and may

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Speaker 2: undermine your credibility as a witness given a formal dispute.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he said, she said? Situation the reliability as a

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Speaker 2: witness is important. You should retain a lawyer promptly who

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Speaker 2: will draft a response to the letter of demand and

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Speaker 2: provide you with counsel. Opie says, there's no due date

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Speaker 2: or info about a time to reply, just a statement

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Speaker 2: that because of my actions, their client is out a

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Speaker 2: total of fifty K and I need to pay it.

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Speaker 4: That is ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, and it's not in any way your fault.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't even know, Like it's insane that a

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Speaker 2: lawyer would even take that case on.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know if I wonder if this guy

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Speaker 3: really even uses the lawyer or if you just like

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Speaker 3: chat GPT. Yeah, like the document that he would need

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Speaker 3: to send to like start it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe there's nothing about court or how to pay or

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Speaker 2: when makes me think it's more likely a fake. I

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Speaker 2: won't contact Aaron about it or ask him to read

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Speaker 2: over this thread in the case, I want to save

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Speaker 2: myself money and just send a copy to the lawyers

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Speaker 2: involved and say, can I get you to validate that

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Speaker 2: this was sent from you? Is that likely to be

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Speaker 2: a risk or should even that go through a lawyer?

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Speaker 2: I pick, I recognize that might be going beyond what

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Speaker 2: you're allowed to advise. I'll probably hit up a lawyer

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Speaker 2: of my own this week. And there is an update, folks,

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Speaker 2: But do you have any thoughts before.

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Speaker 4: Jumping in?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I think if you want to avoid the legal headache,

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Speaker 3: I would just like not even bother with talking to

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Speaker 3: a lawyer, and I'd just be like, hey, I talked

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Speaker 3: to a lawyer and this documents fraudulent and we're going

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Speaker 3: to prosecute you for it. Yeah, and then he'll probably

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Speaker 3: just disappear from your life.

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Speaker 4: So that would be great.

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Speaker 3: Then you skip off the nonsense legwork. I doubt you should.

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Speaker 3: Even if you tried to sue this guy for like

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Speaker 3: I don't know, damages against you, he probably will never

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Speaker 3: pay up. So it's just.

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Speaker 2: It's studies the money to pay out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just scare him a little bit and then move

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Speaker 3: on with your life.

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Speaker 2: There is an update NSW Australia. I went to a

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Speaker 2: lawyer my parents had used a few years ago, and

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Speaker 2: they recommend it. She took one look at the letter

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Speaker 2: from my friend Aaron's lawyers and said she has concerns

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Speaker 2: about it and she'd respond. She contacted his lawyer, and

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Speaker 2: my lawyer mailed me to tell me Aaron's lawyers aren't

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Speaker 2: his lawyers at all, but to contact her if I

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Speaker 2: heard more otherwise, no need for more action, yep eli, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because that was such.

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Speaker 4: A bogus claim. Yeah, any final thoughts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry that your friend uh turned out to

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Speaker 3: be this guy?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, turn out to suck.

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Speaker 3: Some people would rather throw away an entire friendship for

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Speaker 3: fifty instead of just being like I was wrong.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: Shouldn't have gone into that flood. Yeah, Aaron had apparently

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Speaker 2: faked up the letter and admitted as much to me

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Speaker 2: yesterday when he finally decided to talk to me. He

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Speaker 2: wants me to retract my complaint to his lawyers about

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Speaker 2: him using their letter head. I hadn't complained to them myself,

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Speaker 2: so I did the time honor thing and told him

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Speaker 2: to go pound sand. But it might have rhymed with

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Speaker 2: go eat a bag of wieners. Comments from the suburb

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Speaker 2: common one says, oh, no consequence. Reply says he was

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Speaker 2: trying to shift the blame onto Ope and made himself

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Speaker 2: the victim in the process. Too bad, it was as

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Speaker 2: flimsy as his fraud letter. Hopefully he ends up in

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Speaker 2: even more debt and no empathy. What kind of crappy

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Speaker 2: friend is this? Comment two says lawyers tend to get

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Speaker 2: really mad when people impersonate them. This ain't just f

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Speaker 2: around and find out this is glitter. Glue is not

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Speaker 2: a snack level of stupid. Comment three says as soon

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Speaker 2: as I saw Aaron and driving across a flooded area,

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Speaker 2: I was like, these have to be some of the

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Speaker 2: people where I grew up with from in rural NSW, Australia.

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Speaker 2: So many stories here every fen year, whenever we get

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Speaker 2: excessive rainfall and floods about some stupid guy going ah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: nah mate, only a few inches of water. Hey, it'll

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Speaker 2: be all right. Next minute, another story on one of

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Speaker 2: the news channels about some guy in a car or

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Speaker 2: truck literally dragged underwater from his zone stupidity. I swear

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Speaker 2: they all think they're top crap and it never happens.

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Speaker 4: To them, and it always does.

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Speaker 2: Aaron is so frickin lucky actually survived an op. Props

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Speaker 2: to you, mate, you've got actual common sense for bailing. Also,

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Speaker 2: to top it all, when an absolute dumb move for

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Speaker 2: faking a lawyer's letter, I'm amazed to even could write

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Speaker 2: a letter that's legible far out reply says, there's one

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Speaker 2: street here in Los Angeles that floods every time it rains,

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Speaker 2: and every single time someone gets stuck in the water,

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Speaker 2: to the point that news crews set up cameras to

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Speaker 2: catch the idiots. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean, LA's just not built for flooding.

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Speaker 3: Uh, not built.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, people do not do well. What are We.

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Speaker 3: Invited my husband's friend to our open relationship and she

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Speaker 3: never moved on.

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Speaker 2: Ah uh oh.

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Speaker 3: This started in twenty twenty two and ended with us

257
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Speaker 3: filing oh police report yesterday.

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Speaker 4: He really never moved on.

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Speaker 3: And by the way, and this comes directly from our subreddit,

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Speaker 3: just letting you know first and background. Husband and I

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00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:26,160
Speaker 3: have been together twelve years, married for four He's been

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00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,160
Speaker 3: friends with Lolas since high school and though they never dated,

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Speaker 3: they did have a brief physical relationship. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from user specific Orchid four nine seven three.

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00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,199
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

266
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,360
Speaker 3: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit where this story

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00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,400
Speaker 3: was submitted.

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Speaker 5: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're already give

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Speaker 5: good advice goofly folks, but we don't always have all

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Speaker 5: the answers, Uh, we only know what we would do

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Speaker 5: in any given situation, so if you would do something different,

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Speaker 5: let us know in the comments.

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Speaker 3: You know, okay. Right after high school they had a

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Speaker 3: bit of a falling out because she started dating a

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Speaker 3: guy who wasn't okay with her having guy friends, so

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Speaker 3: she cut husband off. Maybe two years past and Lola

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Speaker 3: reached out to husband to apologize for cutting him off.

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Speaker 3: She explained how toxic her ex had ended up being,

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Speaker 3: and they slowly rebuilt their friendship. I never had a

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Speaker 3: problem with this, as one, I trust my husband, and two,

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Speaker 3: Lola never seemed interested in anything other than friendship. After

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Speaker 3: we got married, husband and I discussed the potential of

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Speaker 3: a third in our relationship, I promised, this is relevant.

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Speaker 3: Before we started the looking process, we set ground rules

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Speaker 3: and expectations. Our immediate friend circle was off limits, obviously,

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Speaker 3: but I was open to the idea of more distant

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Speaker 3: friends so long as we all communicated. Lola fell into

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Speaker 3: this category. I was hesitant at first, but ultimately decided

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Speaker 3: that if she was open to the idea, we could

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Speaker 3: see where it went. Husband told her about our relationship

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Speaker 3: dynamics and asked if that was something she would be

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Speaker 3: interested in. She said she would need to think about it,

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Speaker 3: and then a couple months later she declined the offer.

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Speaker 3: Husband accepted her answer and their friendship resumed as usual.

295
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,839
Speaker 3: To clarify, their relationship was mostly texting and only meeting

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00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,480
Speaker 3: to hang out in person once every couple months. We

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00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,720
Speaker 3: eventually started a relationship with someone else, though it was

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Speaker 3: short lived. This occurred around March twenty twenty two. By

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00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,480
Speaker 3: May twenty twenty two, husband got a new job roughly

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00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,680
Speaker 3: thirty minutes away. Since I work from home and lived

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00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,040
Speaker 3: too close to toxic family, we decided to move closer

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00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,000
Speaker 3: to his new job. We began house hunting, and it

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00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 3: was a long process, so we put house hunting on

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00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,240
Speaker 3: pause until the spring, or at least until after the holidays.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward to January twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 4: And I'm pregnt.

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Speaker 3: We had been trying and were over the moon to

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Speaker 3: be expecting. This meant we needed to house hunt immediately.

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00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,320
Speaker 3: In April, we closed on our house and were so

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Speaker 3: happy to share our joys with our friends and family.

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00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,160
Speaker 3: Lola has never wanted kids. She made it very clear

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00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 3: she was much happier as a dog mom, so when

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00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,640
Speaker 3: she congratulated us. There was never a hint of jealousy.

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00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,080
Speaker 3: With a new house and baby on the way, we

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00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 3: paused looking for another partner. Life got busy, and admittedly

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Speaker 3: we were in our own little bubble of bliss, so

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Speaker 3: a husband wasn't reaching out to Lola as often, though

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Speaker 3: if she reached out, he would reply. In October twenty three,

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Speaker 3: we welcomed the most beautiful baby girl into the world.

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Speaker 3: As most new parents do, we neglected some of our

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00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:35,720
Speaker 3: more distant friendships. Most of them were understanding. Lola was not.

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Speaker 2: This is such an awkward relationship with this girl, like

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00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 2: you asked her to be in your open relationship. She

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Speaker 2: rejected that, but she's still around.

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Speaker 4: I'm confused.

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Speaker 3: She started getting angry with husband for not reaching out more,

327
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,200
Speaker 3: and she said she felt like he didn't care about

328
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,480
Speaker 3: their friendship. He apologized and explained that life had been

329
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 3: busy and it was hard to focus on things outside

330
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,560
Speaker 3: of me and our baby. Lola eventually escalated, saying husband

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00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,680
Speaker 3: was mad because she rejected him when he brought up

332
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 3: our open relationship. She started being very nasty and wouldn't

333
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 3: listen to anything husband had to say. It got to

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00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 3: a point where her Husband told her that if she

335
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 3: truly thought he didn't care about their friendship and only

336
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,120
Speaker 3: wanted to sleep with her, then maybe they just shouldn't

337
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 3: be friends. He blocked her number. A few months passed

338
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,320
Speaker 3: and she started messaging him from a different number, accusing

339
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 3: him again of only wanting to sleep with her and

340
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,640
Speaker 3: not caring about their friendship. He tried to explain that

341
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 3: he respected her choice when she said no, and that

342
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,920
Speaker 3: he didn't have any hurt feelings about it and he

343
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,320
Speaker 3: wasn't ignoring her, he was just distracted by life. Lola

344
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 3: accused him of making excuses, and husband reached his limit.

345
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,160
Speaker 3: He told her that if she didn't believe anything he said,

346
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 3: why keep reaching out. He blocked that number two several

347
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 3: months went by, and then on a random Thursday night,

348
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 3: husband got a text from a random number said, why

349
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,040
Speaker 3: haven't you noticed that baby looks nothing like you? Darling?

350
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 3: Genuine concern. Don't bother asking who this is. I just

351
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,000
Speaker 3: want you to think about it. Don't have a good.

352
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,880
Speaker 4: Night, don't ask who this is. It's not Lola.

353
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 2: But have you thought about the fact that your wife

354
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 2: is probably cheating on you?

355
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 3: Husband replied that he really thought they had the wrong number.

356
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,119
Speaker 3: The number texted back, there you go again, but have

357
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,160
Speaker 3: it your way, just wondering. We had a good laugh

358
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 3: about this and assumed it must be Lola, because who

359
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,120
Speaker 3: else would it be. The next night, more texts came

360
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 3: in from the same number. They said, I just want

361
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 3: you to admit it open marriage and all right, you

362
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 3: dumb sea word, that kid isn't yours. I gave you

363
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 3: such a blessing by telling you. Husband responded, asking what

364
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 3: she wanted from him, why she was trying so desperately

365
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 3: to screw with his marriage. The number replied back, I'm

366
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 3: not wrong, though, am I. Husband told her that I

367
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 3: don't see other men and never had any interest in

368
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 3: seeing other men, and asked again why she was trying

369
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 3: so hard to mess with him. What did she want

370
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 3: from him? She wants the baby, she replied, suffering seems

371
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 3: like a decent request. Who is this lady? His number

372
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,080
Speaker 3: husband told her he never understood. They had been doing

373
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 3: so well, and then once he told her we were

374
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 3: moving and expecting, everything went haywire. He asked why and

375
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 3: begged her to help him understand, literally block her.

376
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 4: Why are we entertaining her?

377
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 3: This is just like I want to know why you're

378
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 3: so deranged, She said, I'm not interested in simplifying my anger.

379
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 3: I cannot make this easier for you. I'm open to

380
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 3: a phone call, but even then I don't know that's

381
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 3: all I can offer. Husband told her she wouldn't let

382
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,919
Speaker 3: him leave or stay. She wanted him to admit to

383
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,919
Speaker 3: something that wasn't true, but she refused to believe anything

384
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 3: else he had said. He admitted he should have reached

385
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 3: out more often, but life happens to everyone. They grow

386
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 3: up and have their own life and time gets away.

387
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 3: He explained that it had been three years since he

388
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 3: had seen his best friend, and he could have sworn

389
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,360
Speaker 3: it was only a few months ago. He reminded her

390
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 3: they weren't in high school anymore and were both adults.

391
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 3: He apologized again for how she felt, but told her

392
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,440
Speaker 3: there was no reason to believe it would end any

393
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 3: differently than it always had, with Lola hating him. He

394
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,199
Speaker 3: admitted she had been an incredible friend and that he

395
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,479
Speaker 3: was happy when she was in his life, but he

396
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 3: was now happy without her in it, and he refused

397
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 3: to go through this again. She replied that his assumptions

398
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 3: were annoying and told him to grow out of assuming

399
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 3: who she was now, She said he didn't know her.

400
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 4: I don't want to know you. Leave me alone. I

401
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 4: want to know less of you.

402
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: Stop talking to me freak Yeah, sorry that was rude,

403
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 3: but you're acting freakish like you're acting like I'm going

404
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 3: to get a letter in the mail written with newspaper clippings, yuicks.

405
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,679
Speaker 3: He asked her again what she wanted from him, pointing

406
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 3: out that she seemed to hate him so much, but

407
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 3: wouldn't just leave him alone or let him leave. She

408
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 3: told him, who said I hated you. No one's forcing

409
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 3: you to respond or deal with me either. To be honest,

410
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 3: I'm not that scary, but I'm not surprised. People run

411
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,239
Speaker 3: when I'm mad. I'm very cold, I'll admit that. He

412
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 3: blocked her again, but a few weeks later, another new

413
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 3: number texted, calling him a liar, telling him not to

414
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 3: ever contact her again and saying he only wanted what

415
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 3: he couldn't have. She told him, ef you small weena man,

416
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 3: leave me alone.

417
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 4: You mad?

418
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 3: I figured it out. Husband told her this was the problem,

419
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 3: that's why she kept lashing out at him. He said,

420
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 3: if she wanted to talk, just talk, but instead she attacked.

421
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 3: He explained that she herself acknowledged it was an issue,

422
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 3: but then turned around and kept doing it. He said

423
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 3: he had told her the truth over and over, but

424
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 3: she refused to listen and never would, so he was done.

425
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 3: It seems like every time he says he's done, he

426
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 3: just continues to apply to these stupid messages.

427
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like if you're done, you got to

428
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: just stop replying all together.

429
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 3: I think you need to do it and be like,

430
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 3: next time I'm calling the police. Yeah, next time I'm

431
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 3: following a report. Next time there will be consequences exactly.

432
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 4: She replied, is that what you think it is?

433
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 3: I just want to add, don't ever say attack to

434
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 3: a person of color. You should know yourself how fensive

435
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 3: that is. I never attacked you. You were a crappy friend,

436
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 3: and I didn't let it slide. Blocked again, But then

437
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 3: came another number, This one said, what's your dame problem?

438
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 3: Grow up and actually answer so over this crap and

439
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,719
Speaker 3: don't ever come at me that you're busy with a baby,

440
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 3: you chose to have what whatever?

441
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: Just you're busy with the baby you chose to have

442
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 2: What does that mean?

443
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 4: Yeah?

444
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 3: At this point, either just like stop responding to her,

445
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 3: or like get a new number.

446
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 2: That's like saying like, oh, were like you're busy with

447
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 2: college that you chose to go to.

448
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 4: Yes I am, I am busy.

449
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 2: I yes, I chose to do it, and I'm busy

450
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 2: with it.

451
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 3: Honestly, take screen caps of this and put it on

452
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 3: social media and say, look at what she sent today

453
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 3: her until.

454
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 4: She stopped soccer and keep blocking.

455
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 3: We already know what we all want him to do.

456
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 3: We want him to stop replying. Yeah, so husband told

457
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 3: her he wasn't going to speak to someone who only

458
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 3: wanted to cause harm to him or his relationship. He

459
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: warned that the number would be blocked in any further

460
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 3: contact would be collected as evidence towards intimidation charges, which

461
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 3: leads us to the other day, when yet another new

462
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 3: number texted, are you still mad or holding a grudge?

463
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: How does she get all these numbers?

464
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 3: I'm disappointed in how all this turned out. He immediately

465
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 3: blocked and we filed the police report.

466
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 4: Good.

467
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,399
Speaker 3: It's sad that it has come to this, and I

468
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 3: almost feel bad because Lola is clearly unwell mentally, but

469
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: no sane person behaves this way. We hope that a

470
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 3: nice chat with a police officer will help reinforce the

471
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 3: boundary and maybe give her a wake up call to

472
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 3: work on herself. Yeah, and that is the end of

473
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 3: that story. Yeah, low key and honestly, like I think, uh,

474
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 3: I think we kind of need to give husband a

475
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 3: wake up call that like, not every issue has to

476
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 3: be like fully worked out in like a mature like

477
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 3: we could just thought the way when the person we're

478
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,479
Speaker 3: talking to is not mature and thoughtful.

479
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's not reasonable, so don't try to reason mother.

480
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was way too many attempts.

481
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

482
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 6: I asked for a few hours to myself each week.

483
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 6: My wife got furious.

484
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 4: Let's need a little bit of a lone time here.

485
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 6: I thirty four mail, was always sort of an introvert

486
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 6: before I was married to my wife. Thirty three of you,

487
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 6: I had friends, but I always needed a few nights

488
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 6: alone to unwind and do nothing but f around on

489
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,360
Speaker 6: the computer, watch TV, play video games, et cetera. By

490
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from user just six hours And

491
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 6: if you want submit your own stories, go to the

492
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 6: r slash. Okay, storytime separated it. I'm key on and op,

493
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 6: he says, I recently got promoted, and I've been working

494
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 6: fifty hours a week, which I know is not that much,

495
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 6: but I have people in my face all day long,

496
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 6: phone calls, questions, clients and employees in and out of

497
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 6: my office. I eat at my desk and I'm answering

498
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 6: my phone between bites. I also have an hour commute

499
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 6: each way, so I am out of the house eleven

500
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 6: hours a day. I get home around seven. My wife

501
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 6: does not work, which I'm okay with. We have two boys,

502
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 6: five and seven. One just finished pre K one just

503
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 6: finished second grade, so they were out of the house

504
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 6: six to seven hours of the day as well. Now

505
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 6: that it is summer, my wife put them into a

506
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 6: summer day camp program that runs from nine to five,

507
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 6: so they are out of the house eight hours a day.

508
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 6: My wife supposedly uses this time they were in school

509
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 6: and the time they are now in summer camp to

510
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 6: make our next days, make our next day lunches, our dinners,

511
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 6: and to clean the house, do laundry, run errands, etc.

512
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 6: So here's the problem. My wife feels that when I

513
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 6: get home at night and all weekend days are for

514
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 6: family time. I love spending time with her and I

515
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 6: love spending time with the kids, but she thinks that

516
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 6: since they are at school during the day and I'm

517
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 6: at work, that we need to spend every night and

518
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 6: weekend together, no matter what I've suggested her or my

519
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,439
Speaker 6: parents watch them here and there so that we can

520
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 6: have a date night and or relax by ourselves. But

521
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 6: she gets really upset that we would pawn them off

522
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 6: onto other people when we spend thirty five to sixty

523
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 6: hours away from them each week already.

524
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: Hmmm.

525
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 6: I'm trying really not to feel resentful, because i really

526
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 6: do love them, But a typical night consists of me

527
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 6: coming home from work, having dinner with the family, helping

528
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 6: the kids with homework, helping my wife clean the kitchen,

529
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 6: watching TV with the kids before bed, putting them to bed,

530
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 6: setting up their stuff for the next morning, and then

531
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 6: taking a shower and crashing out. I have literally zero

532
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 6: time for myself the weekends. My wife expects me to

533
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 6: spend the entire forty eight hours doing family stuff, taking

534
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 6: the kids to their grandparents' house, playing, going to the zoo,

535
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 6: bringing them shopping, etc. I'm not against family time, but

536
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 6: between having people in my face all day at work

537
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 6: and then having this spend all night doting on my

538
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 6: kids as soon as I get home twenty four to seven,

539
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 6: three one hundred and sixty five days a year, I'm

540
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 6: feeling very burnt out. It's really hard for me to admit,

541
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 6: and I hope I don't get blasted, but I'm starting

542
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 6: to feel very resentful towards my wife because she's home

543
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 6: without them for seven to eight hours a day every day,

544
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 6: and I can't imagine that she's really spending all those

545
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 6: hours every single day doing chores. She has to have

546
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 6: at least some free time to do. She has to

547
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 6: have some free time to herself throughout the week.

548
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 3: Right.

549
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 6: I don't want to assume, because I've never had to

550
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 6: take care of a house and I can't pretend to

551
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 6: know what it entails, but really, now, even an hour

552
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 6: of free time. A few weeks ago, I asked her

553
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 6: if it was okay if two nights a week I

554
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 6: spent a few hours by myself. I don't mean that

555
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 6: I will go out to a bar or come home

556
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 6: or anything, or not come home or anything. I mean

557
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 6: I'll come home, eat dinner, do the dishes, and then

558
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 6: maybe go in the basement to watch them TV, play

559
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 6: video games, have an adult or two and just zone

560
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 6: out from like a thirty PM to when I go

561
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 6: to bed. I usually go to bed by eleven. I

562
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 6: also requested that we have either of our sets of

563
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 6: parents who are more than willing to watch the kids

564
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 6: one week in night every other week or so, which

565
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 6: she flat out refused. Anyway, she started crying. She kept

566
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 6: saying that she has no free time either, and I

567
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 6: think that I deserve more free time than her, just

568
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 6: because I work and she doesn't. She feels like I'm

569
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 6: saying I need time away from my family because I

570
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 6: don't want to be around them or something. It's not true.

571
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 6: I like being around them, but sometimes I just need

572
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 6: to be around nobody. I never get that anymore. I

573
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 6: thought about asking just for one night a week, but

574
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 6: we've tried in the past when my kids were younger,

575
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 6: which she hated back then too, and it didn't work

576
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 6: out well because I would spend that one night a

577
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 6: week I guess trying to savor it because basically I

578
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 6: would end up staying up really late because I knew

579
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 6: that once my night, I wouldn't get another one for

580
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 6: an entire week, and then I would end up being

581
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,959
Speaker 6: exhausted the next day with a pissed off wife. If

582
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 6: I have two nights to look forward to, then to

583
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 6: me it becomes more of a okay, two nights over,

584
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 6: but I will have another one in just a few

585
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 6: days sort of thing, and I won't feel the need

586
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 6: to stay up quite as late. She thinks this is unacceptable,

587
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 6: that I need to be a parent just as much

588
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 6: as she is. I don't think she should be solely

589
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 6: responsible for them, but I feel like she isn't with

590
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 6: them during the day. Why can't I not be with

591
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 6: them for two to three hours twice a week. I'm

592
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 6: asking for six hours a week of alone time max,

593
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 6: not even an entire day. Am I really unreasonable? Does

594
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 6: making the choice to become a father really mean giving

595
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 6: up all of your alone time? Am I being a

596
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 6: piece of crap for wanting to be away from them

597
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 6: for just a few hours. I'm trying to do my best,

598
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 6: but I'm finding myself fantasizing about getting a divorce just

599
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 6: so that we would have fifty to fifty custody and

600
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 6: I wouldn't be forced to spend all day spend all

601
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 6: of my free time with them. I know that's horrible

602
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 6: and disgusting, and I know logically that isn't what I want.

603
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 6: But I'm feeling like I'm being burnt to a Crisp.

604
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 6: We have an update. Boy, yeah it's a BROCOLI.

605
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 4: I think that's ope being burnt to Crisp.

606
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 6: Oh boy, yeah, no, Opie, you're definitely you're on the

607
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 6: verge of actually legitimately having a crash out, if not

608
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 6: already there. Yeah, we are human. People have different rates.

609
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 6: Like I'm an extrovert. I love going out. I have

610
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 6: that energy that I can go out literally every week,

611
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 6: but there are times where I'm like, I want at

612
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 6: least one day or a weekend just do nothing. Yeah

613
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 6: that's so fair, But I'm not a parent, right. The

614
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 6: thing is, you are okay of being a parent, but

615
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 6: she wants you to be a parent twenty four to seven.

616
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 6: That is your job, but you deserve to have at

617
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 6: least an hour or two just to quietly sit down

618
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 6: on the couch and be like, right, I need that.

619
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 7: Piece exactly, Like, yeah, some people you know might be well,

620
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 7: she might be in a place where like if she's yes,

621
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 7: she's really busy at home, but she's also alone at

622
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 7: home all that time, so she probably her idea of

623
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 7: like relaxing is hanging out with you and hanging out

624
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 7: with the kids and stuff, especially since you're so busy

625
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 7: and he's not even gone for like a normal eight

626
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 7: hour a day worth.

627
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 6: Plus hour commutes and everything like that.

628
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 7: Yeah exactly, So he's gone a lot of the time,

629
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 7: so he probably she probably just wants to relax by

630
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 7: hanging out.

631
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 6: Yeah exactly. He had different ways of, you know, having

632
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 6: that peace and relaxation. Hers is probably you get to

633
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 6: go home and have family time.

634
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 4: Right update.

635
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 6: Truly thank you all for your replies to me. I

636
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 6: just want to clarify that my seven year old's bedtime

637
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 6: is only at ten at the latest in the summer

638
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 6: when he is off. Although I agree that he is

639
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 6: not really off when he's going to day camp at

640
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 6: nine am, my wife feels like it's not worth fighting

641
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 6: with him to go to bed earlier when it is

642
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 6: his break. After seeing all of your replies to my

643
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 6: last post and realizing I wasn't getting crucified for wanting

644
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 6: some time away from the kids, I decided to try

645
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 6: and bring it up to my wife again. I told

646
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 6: her I would really like to take her out that

647
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 6: last weekend and if we could, please let the kids

648
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 6: spend some time with my parents. She kept questioning me

649
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 6: non stop. Why do I need to be away from

650
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 6: the kids. Why do I think it's okay to drop

651
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 6: them off at my parents? Why don't I want to

652
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 6: take responsibility for them on the weekends lately? I believe

653
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 6: she was referring to the last time I brought up

654
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 6: weekend date nights, because I'm with them every weekend. I

655
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 6: told her, I love the kids to my grave, but

656
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 6: that I can't just be a worker and a father

657
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,719
Speaker 6: one hundred percent of the time. I explained to her,

658
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 6: I just need some time, not a lot, but some

659
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 6: to be just me and nothing else. She called me

660
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 6: a selfish a whole and then if I wanted to

661
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 6: spend so much time away from my family, I might

662
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 6: as well get out of her face and away from

663
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 6: the house. This was Friday night. Saturday morning, I woke

664
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 6: up and tried to talk to her again. I told

665
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 6: her that I just wanted to spend some time with

666
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 6: her away from the kids. You want to spend some

667
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 6: time with your wife.

668
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, wait, okay, that's also nice too. It's like I

669
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 7: just want to have date night.

670
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

671
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 6: To feel that I was still a person in a

672
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 6: relationship with someone I loved and not just a father.

673
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 6: She started getting emotional and angry again, same as the

674
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 6: night before, and it was at this point I snapped.

675
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 6: I told her that I was going to spend time

676
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 6: away from the kids that night, and she can either

677
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 6: join me and let my parents' baby sit like they

678
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 6: want to, or I would go alone. This was not

679
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 6: my best moment. Long story short, I went alone. Whoa.

680
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 6: But I quickly realized that I have no idea what

681
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 6: to do with myself on a Saturday afternoon. I haven't

682
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 6: seen my friends in forever. They're all married, and my

683
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 6: wife clearly doesn't love me spending time out of the

684
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 6: house seeing them. The only friend I have that is

685
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 6: single is a bartender at a pub about twenty minutes

686
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 6: away from my house, so I went there.

687
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 4: Ah, gosh, that is crazy.

688
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 6: The fact that you literally have no social life, Yeah,

689
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 6: that's big. She's legiti and I want to see what

690
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 6: if she has any friends or what have you. But

691
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 6: the fact that you actually you are a father when

692
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 6: hundred percent of the time, but during that time that

693
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 6: you're a father, you can also be yourself. You can

694
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 6: you can go do your own thing like this is

695
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 6: crazy that she's not giving you even an hour or

696
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 6: two hours a day to just unwind.

697
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 7: I know, honestly, it's like I don't I wouldn't know

698
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 7: how to talk to this woman about all of this

699
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 7: because clearly all these reasonable things that he's explaining or

700
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 7: is not making sense to her.

701
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 6: I see so much logic with you, okay, and I

702
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 6: see no logic in what her reasoning.

703
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 7: Is again, because even when he snapped, he's like, you

704
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 7: can come with me. It's not that I hate my kids,

705
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 7: it's just my parents want to babysit. Yeah, because they understand,

706
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 7: and so you can let them do that. You know,

707
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 7: the kids are gonna be taken care of, my parents

708
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 7: will be babysitting them. Like, I feel like at this

709
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 7: point he needs to just kind of like shoot out

710
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 7: like some random hypotheticals of why she could be feeling

711
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 7: this way of like do you not like my parents

712
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 7: watching our kids? Do you do you, I don't know,

713
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 7: feel like you know, having something like a nanny or

714
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 7: do you even like that they're in daycare? Do you

715
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 7: feel like it's not okay for other people to raise

716
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 7: them or something like that?

717
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 4: Like yeah, like do you not want me to have

718
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:13,439
Speaker 4: a social life.

719
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,959
Speaker 7: Do you have a social life or do you feel

720
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 7: guilty for having a social life, Like, like, try to

721
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 7: come up with all of these crazy things and hopefully

722
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 7: that will kind of make her get to a point

723
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,399
Speaker 7: where she can explain herself.

724
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 6: By her Yeah, we need an explanation why she's not

725
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 6: allowing you other than like her shutting down or shutting

726
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 6: you down an idea down of like you want to

727
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 6: spend time with it just us that like bad. I

728
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 6: think a therapist or a counselor or something just to

729
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 6: manage as like a mediator and like be present of

730
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 6: like why do you get like this when you ask

731
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 6: you that question? Do you think not having alone time

732
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 6: or like just a one hour wind down time even

733
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 6: that is too much.

734
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 4: To ask for. I don't know.

735
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 6: And I would also just try and be like our

736
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 6: friends have kids too, Maybe we should like mingle like again, like.

737
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 4: I don't know, play outside while we talk something. I

738
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 4: don't know.

739
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 6: I think people deserve a social life, like you're allowed

740
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 6: as long as you're being a one hundred percent of

741
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 6: father all the time and doing what you need to

742
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 6: do and being there for your family and providing for

743
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 6: them and not. You know, it sounds like you're not

744
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 6: selfish at all. Right, it sounds like you're not lazy,

745
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 6: So it sounds like you're doing everything right. You just

746
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 6: deserve that.

747
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 4: Time, exactly.

748
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 6: I literally only had two adult sodas. The bar was

749
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 6: pretty empty since it was a fairly early afternoon, and

750
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 6: I got bored pretty quickly, and I decided to leave

751
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 6: and go back to my family. My wife, though, was

752
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 6: not impressed. Now she was accusing me of choosing to

753
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 6: go drinking at a bar over my family. I had

754
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 6: no idea how to get through to her that all

755
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 6: I want is to have one or two days a

756
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 6: month to spend on a date night, and one or

757
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 6: two nights a week to play video games for an

758
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 6: hour or two so I don't go crazy. I can't

759
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 6: take the constant twenty four to seven stimulation without a

760
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 6: mental break to myself to zone out anymore. I can't

761
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 6: take not having time alone with just me and my wife.

762
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 6: I just want to run away. I never would, but

763
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 6: oh my god, I want to. After Saturday, I just

764
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 6: let things go back to normal. My wife has been

765
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 6: pretty icy with me, but nothing else has really happened since.

766
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that's all we get.

767
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 6: Ope, yeah you can't. It's not relationships are a two

768
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 6: way street or it's a two way dance. You're dancing

769
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 6: her dance the entire time. Yeah, you know you got

770
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 6: to be like, hey, can we slow it down? Can

771
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 6: we just slow down this dance a little bit. It's

772
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 6: kind of crazy, it's very crazy.

773
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories, but

774
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

775
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 7: I blacked out around my wife's friends, and I might

776
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 7: have ruined everything.

777
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 4: What did you do? My twenty nine.

778
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 7: Male wife thirty five female. We're both active duty military.

779
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 7: We're not stationed together yet because that's the military, and

780
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 7: we're apart by an eight hour drive. We married last

781
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 7: July after meeting during training and falling deeply in love.

782
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 7: We had only known each other for two months. Oh well,

783
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 7: I recently returned home from a seven and a half

784
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 7: month deployment. By the way, that comes from HM three

785
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 7: Grundle And if you want to submit your own stories,

786
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 7: go to the r slash. Okay, sorry, time supper at

787
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 7: it and I'm Angie, I'm keon and Opie says. Last weekend,

788
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 7: I drove up to see my wife for the weekend,

789
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 7: which happens about once per month. We try to see

790
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,240
Speaker 7: each other as often as we can, but our jobs

791
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 7: and available time off to accommodate the drive are difficult

792
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 7: to come by. She lives with her sister, Melissa, and

793
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,320
Speaker 7: eleven year old nephew Billy. The nights started off great.

794
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,240
Speaker 7: We had dinner and drink some wine. We were waiting

795
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 7: for mutual friend to arrive, so we spent some time

796
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 7: by dancing. She's Colombian and I'm learning salsa and but

797
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 7: it was a lot of fun and I remember how

798
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 7: close we danced together. Concerning this mutual friend, whom i'll

799
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 7: call Pam, I have some past issues with her that

800
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 7: weren't resolved. At times, she could be a total witch

801
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 7: to me. I entruy you her to my wife because

802
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 7: she lives in the area. They have since become very

803
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 7: good friends. Pam brought over tequila and vodka.

804
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 4: We were at the.

805
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 7: Dinner table talking, and that's the last thing I remember.

806
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 7: I woke up in bed by myself, soaking, wet and

807
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 7: hung over. I had an odd feeling upon waking that

808
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 7: something bad had happened. I walked downstairs and saw my

809
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 7: wife making breakfast for Billy. She was clearly pissed when

810
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 7: she saw me and ignored me completely. I asked her

811
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 7: what happened, and she told me that I got into

812
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 7: an argument with Pam which turned into a yelling and

813
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 7: cursing match. The details for my wife were vague. Apparently

814
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 7: Pam tried to walk away from the conversation, but I

815
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 7: kept after it, yelling and cursing. My wife tried to

816
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 7: calm me down. I ended up passing out next to

817
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 7: my car in the rain.

818
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 4: A wow.

819
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 7: My wife had tried to get me inside, but I

820
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,399
Speaker 7: kept refusing until she threatened to call my mom, and

821
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 7: then I went inside and passed out. She also told

822
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 7: me that I yelled and cursed at Billy. This really

823
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 7: upset me because he's eleven. I used to work as

824
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 7: an investigator for incidents protecting children and had to deal

825
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 7: with parents like that all the time, swearing that I

826
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 7: would never be like them.

827
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 4: After hearing that.

828
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 7: I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I packed my

829
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 7: things and left, driving the eight hours back home after

830
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 7: being there for less than a day. My wife and

831
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 7: Pam wouldn't answer their phones when I tried to call them.

832
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 7: I left voicemails with an apology and asking them to

833
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 7: call me. At this point, I was going crazy, trying

834
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 7: to remember anything at all. The fact that Billy was

835
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 7: so upset by the situation really bothered me. Why would

836
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 7: I do something like this? What happened? For the first

837
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 7: and second days after this, I was a wreck, unable

838
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 7: to concentrate, eat, or sleep. I'm normally a happy drinker.

839
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 7: I didn't remember drinking that much, but my wife told

840
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,760
Speaker 7: me that I drank most of the bottle of wine,

841
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 7: plus two shots of tequila and three margaritas. Since no

842
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 7: one was talking to me, I started thinking about my

843
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 7: past with Pam. I really don't know why I kept

844
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 7: her around as a friend. She could be manipulative, and

845
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,800
Speaker 7: I remember hating getting into arguments with her because she

846
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 7: would dig deep and embarrass me in in front of

847
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 7: a group of friends. Before introducing her to my wife,

848
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 7: I had told her about our past. I'm starting to

849
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 7: believe that Pam brought me to a point where I

850
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 7: said something stupid and it escalated from there. I knew

851
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 7: my wife didn't want to talk to me, which compounded

852
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 7: our other problems. Since returning home from the deployment, things

853
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 7: have changed. She would be bothered by something I did

854
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 7: in the past or recently, and what I'd asked her

855
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 7: to tell me. She would say that she didn't want

856
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,800
Speaker 7: to or I shouldn't have to tell you these things.

857
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 7: I've concluded that she's afraid of being a nagging wife.

858
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 7: I can identify a few things that I'm striving to fix.

859
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 7: I don't really cook, so I started learning, and I'm

860
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 7: loving it. She likes to dance, so I'm on board

861
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 7: with dancing with her and taking lessons when I can

862
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 7: afford it. That's sweet, she said. Calling just once a

863
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 7: day at nine pm wasn't enough, so I started calling

864
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 7: around five or six pm, and then.

865
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 4: Again before I go to bed.

866
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 7: After this whole week, I would send a text or

867
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 7: Facebook message saying that I love her and want to

868
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 7: fix things. Finally, tonight there was a breakthrough in communication.

869
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 7: She brought up a lot of things that bothered her

870
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 7: that she had never mentioned before, like issues from last year.

871
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,600
Speaker 7: Since I returned home, she's been reluctant to communicate problems

872
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 7: with me. I'm very open about things, and when there's

873
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 7: a problem, it needs to be talked about. I understand

874
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 7: solutions come mostly in two ways, compromise or sacrifice.

875
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 4: She's my wife.

876
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 7: I love her so much and I am willing to do

877
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 7: what's needed to make this work. I love her very much,

878
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 7: and our distance has put a strain on our marriage.

879
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 4: We hardly see each other.

880
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 7: She can't communicate her issues with me, and now I

881
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 7: have fed up by disrespecting her and her.

882
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 4: Family and friend by getting wasted.

883
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 7: I only hope that when we can actually talk in

884
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 7: the phone, we can put these issues to rest. As

885
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 7: for Pam, if we're to be in a room together

886
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 7: at all, we need to bury the hatchet. I don't

887
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:49,479
Speaker 7: think Pam is willing to do that, but I don't

888
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 7: know since she refuses to talk to me. So any

889
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 7: advice please, And there is an update. But what would

890
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 7: you say about this whole mess?

891
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:01,399
Speaker 6: Oh? Well, I mean things like this happen. I feel

892
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 6: like you got you definitely have to take accountability, which

893
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 6: you sort of are what you are. Yeah, you know,

894
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 6: you're the relationship with uh, you know, adult beverages. Maybe

895
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 6: you gotta take a look at that, and you know,

896
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 6: see your new relationship with that and the fact that

897
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 6: you drank that much and you kept going and yeah,

898
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 6: you gotta maybe you know your limit. You probably do

899
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 6: do know your limit.

900
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 4: But like something yeah somethings.

901
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, and uh yeah, you gotta make up for it.

902
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 6: I again back to me when with my situation, when

903
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 6: I did that, uh my relationship with adult beverages, I

904
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 6: stopped for a while. I was like, uh, don't done it.

905
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 6: I hated that, And now I'm a little bit more

906
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 6: uh self controlled about it. And you just got to

907
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 6: own up to it and you gotta make amends and

908
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 6: work work on it. And it looks it seems like

909
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 6: you're doing that the PAM thing. You already called it out.

910
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 6: You're like, why am I even friends with this woman?

911
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 2: Right?

912
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 6: What's the point? Yeah, Like she definitely is owned apology.

913
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 4: For sure for whatever happened.

914
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 6: For whatever happened. But from then you're like, maybe there

915
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 6: was a reasoning behind that.

916
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I mean if you're noticing things, this is

917
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 7: kind of making you really reflect and think about like

918
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 7: problems maybe within your marriage.

919
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe that's something to think more about. Because it

920
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 4: was only a couple months before you guys got married.

921
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 6: You did rush that pretty quick.

922
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 7: Yeah, So yeah, I mean all that you can do

923
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 7: is just like apologize and be there for these people.

924
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess exactly. All you gotta do is just

925
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 6: like you know what, going above and beyond and keep

926
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 6: doing what you're doing. It seems like you're doing the

927
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 6: right things. But just know that you're sorry, and just

928
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 6: you're like, I'm gonna be better.

929
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 4: But we do have an update.

930
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 7: It had been almost a month since the incident above,

931
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 7: and I had slowly repaired my marriage step by agonizing step.

932
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 7: Things were looking really good and we were excited to

933
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 7: see each other. We were going to my cousin's wedding.

934
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 7: I put in for leave, which would make this trip

935
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 7: about six days long. This was the perfect opportunity for

936
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 7: healing our marriage. Overall, the whole weekend was great. The

937
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 7: spicy sleep was awesome, and there weren't any moments where

938
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 7: we stuck in the past.

939
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 4: Where we were stuck in the past.

940
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 7: We both felt our love return with the same strength

941
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 7: that we felt when we got married. God, I love

942
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 7: her so much. We did get hung up on the

943
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 7: issue of having children. She's pushing the biological clock and

944
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 7: wants to get pregnant. I wanted to wait until we're

945
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 7: both stationed together, which will be about two years in

946
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 7: the future.

947
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 4: At soonest.

948
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 7: The military is weird when it comes to dual military marriages. Anyway,

949
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 7: After my cousin's wedding and a few drinks, we had

950
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 7: a long adult conversation about the pros and cons of

951
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 7: having children. I say adult conversation because she has quickly

952
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 7: turned emotional on this subject, which used to lead to arguing.

953
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 7: We agreed that she should stop taking birth control and

954
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 7: we'd try for a child. She's looking at deployment sometime

955
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 7: next year. Getting pregnant would remove her from deploying. I

956
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 7: weighed the two options and quickly concluded that her being

957
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 7: deployed for nine months might ultimately destroy our fragile marriage,

958
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 7: and having a child would strengthen it. After she fell asleep,

959
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 7: my mind was racing. Before committing to having children, I

960
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 7: needed to know for sure that I'm the only man

961
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,240
Speaker 7: in her life.

962
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 4: Interesting. I don't know why my thoughts were like this.

963
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 7: I had no reason not to trust her, though in

964
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 7: my gut I knew anything as possible when you deploy

965
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 7: and are gone for seven and a half months.

966
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 4: I started digging through her.

967
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 7: Emails and found out that she sent to someone. I

968
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 7: started digging through her emails and found one she sent

969
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 7: to someone that she used to work with, a supervisor

970
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 7: all called Jody. It was a goodbye email. She was

971
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 7: upset that Joni moved to a new duty station without

972
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 7: calling her. She was upset that she couldn't call and

973
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 7: said that she loved him.

974
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 4: This email was dated shortly.

975
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 7: After the drinking incident, about a month ago. Needless to say,

976
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 7: I started to break down when I read this. I

977
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 7: dug further and could tell that she erased any history

978
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,760
Speaker 7: between the two of them. But I found other emails

979
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 7: when I was deployed. Most of them contained I love you,

980
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 7: I miss you, or I want to hear your voice.

981
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 4: I went back to bed, shaken and paralyzed.

982
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 7: We woke up the next morning and had spicy sleep,

983
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 7: which helped dampen the shock. For a moment, I thought

984
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 7: things were too good for all of it to be

985
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 7: ruined by my snooping. The drive home was agonizing. I

986
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 7: kept thinking about those emails and how I would confront her.

987
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 7: She even brought up her last marriage. Her husband cheated

988
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 7: on her and she found out. Nothing prompted her to

989
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 7: talk about it. It was just a morbid coincidence. I

990
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 7: was on the brink of tears. She noticed that I

991
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 7: was sad, but I played it off because her story

992
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 7: brought up memories of past relationships where I was cheated on.

993
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 7: We When we got to her house, before we went

994
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 7: to sleep, I asked her if she loved me. She

995
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 7: said yes, with all her heart. I asked if I'm

996
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 7: the only one in her life. She said that I'm

997
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 7: the only one. She looked me directly in the eyes

998
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 7: and said it. I went numb and went to sleep.

999
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 7: At this point, I'm back home and don't know what

1000
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 7: to do. The whole drive home, I contemplate a divorce

1001
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 7: or keeping this a secret and maintaining our marriage, though

1002
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 7: with the promise I made about having kids, I don't

1003
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 7: know if I can let this though. I don't know

1004
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 7: if I could let this go. I keep spiraling out

1005
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 7: of control. I usually keep in touch with my family

1006
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 7: when I'm stressed to this degree, but I know if

1007
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 7: I tell them everything will go down in flames.

1008
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 4: I love my wife so much. This hurts so bad.

1009
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 7: I don't want this to end. I just don't know

1010
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 7: if I could ever trust her again. I feel so betrayed.

1011
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,439
Speaker 7: Jody is out of the picture for sure. I don't

1012
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 7: know what to do. I haven't confronted my wife. I

1013
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 7: don't know if I will.

1014
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 4: I need help and we do have another update.

1015
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,839
Speaker 6: But I don't know. This relationship that you guys have,

1016
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 6: you said, it's so fragile, and the fact that you

1017
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 6: had to snoop and you have that thought in the

1018
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 6: back of your your mind, right.

1019
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 7: You had the idea to snoop at all in the

1020
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 7: first place, that's already a red flag.

1021
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 6: Yes, and it seems like you guys have been married

1022
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 6: not that long, let alone known each other.

1023
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:01,240
Speaker 1: Yeah that long?

1024
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, so exactly.

1025
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 6: The fact that you already stooped was a very very

1026
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 6: bad sign. But now that you know and you're gonna

1027
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 6: be having this thought, the one thing you gotta do

1028
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 6: again is just own up to it and be like,

1029
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 6: who's Jody right? And she like, were you stooping through

1030
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 6: my stuff? And yeah, you own up to it.

1031
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: I did.

1032
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 6: And you know what, if that hurts your relationship again,

1033
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 6: that's on you.

1034
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1035
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 6: But yeah, that that's already coming from a place of

1036
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 6: you're not secure enough in your relationship.

1037
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think there are problems here. I feel like

1038
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 7: you definitely should talk about it. If it's bothering you

1039
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,760
Speaker 7: this much. I don't think you should ever just ignore

1040
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 7: it and let it happen. I guess, but yeah, yeah,

1041
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 7: good luck to you. But we have a second update.

1042
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 7: So I went to work this morning and got through

1043
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 7: the day the best I could. I found the I

1044
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 7: found the legal man and asked for advice. I was

1045
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 7: given the number for Base Legal. I contacted them and

1046
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 7: asked to start the process for a divorce. I also

1047
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 7: stated that this was due to infidelity between my wife

1048
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,879
Speaker 7: active duty, and an E seven that she worked with.

1049
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 7: The women on the phone took down their names. She

1050
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 7: said that there were no more appointments for this week

1051
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 7: and now as soon as that I could come in

1052
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 7: is next Monday, during walking hours. So that's the plan.

1053
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 7: Go to legal on Monday, start the process. I've been

1054
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 7: told my friends that military legal cannot represent me in

1055
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 7: court anyway. Once the papers are on their way, I

1056
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 7: will confront my wife. Unfortunately, this has to be done

1057
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 7: over the phone due to the distance and the fact

1058
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 7: that if we're ever in the same room again, bad

1059
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 7: crap is going to happen. I plan to confront her

1060
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 7: swiftly and succinctly. No bs, no crocodile tears, nothing, just

1061
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 7: I know about you and Jody. I don't want details,

1062
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 7: I don't want crap. I've filed for divorce and then

1063
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 7: hang up, never to talk to her again unless this

1064
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 7: goes to court.

1065
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 4: What do we think about? Is wonderful plan right here?

1066
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 6: Op, you're definitely a doer not a thinker. Yeah yeah, wow,

1067
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 6: you definitely like that good idea. And then you're like.

1068
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 3: No, yeah, buddy, Oh my gosh, buddy.

1069
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 6: The fact that you had zero you didn't even ask,

1070
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 6: you'd even ask you, just like I saw the email's divorce,

1071
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 6: I asked if you love me Stille divorce.

1072
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,760
Speaker 4: That's so crazy, even if.

1073
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 6: It is true that she is cheating on you, The

1074
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 6: fact that you didn't confront her first, even if it's

1075
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 6: over the phone, who cares If you didn't confront her,

1076
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 6: You're not gonna.

1077
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,400
Speaker 7: Confront her before you're getting the divorce papers. You're confronting

1078
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 7: her with the divorce papers, and you're not even gonna

1079
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 7: like hear her out. You shouldn't be married to anyone, honestly. Yeah,

1080
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 7: and maybe if she is cheating, then yeah, maybe she

1081
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 7: shouldn't either.

1082
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 6: Like, yeah, if she's cheating, great you caught her. But

1083
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 6: like again, you're you're jumping so far to conclusions. Yeah,

1084
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 6: without any evidence other than you read emails, right, and

1085
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 6: that's it.

1086
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 4: But we do have a little bit more.

1087
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 7: I've collected everything she's given to me or that reminds

1088
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 7: me of her, and put it in a pile to

1089
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 7: be destroyed at some point. All pictures, cards, books, everything,

1090
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 7: I think destroy it. The rest that belongs to her

1091
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 7: I've packed in her suitcase and we'll mail it to her.

1092
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 7: I hope she looks upon it as another reminder of

1093
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 7: what she destroyed. I plan on telling my friends and

1094
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 7: family about it after I confront her.

1095
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 4: From there, I could give.

1096
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 7: Less than two flying puckered raccoon ales about what happens

1097
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 7: to her or Jody. If what y'all have told me

1098
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,760
Speaker 7: to do is true, they will both go to NJP,

1099
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 7: maybe courtz martial, though from there it's hard to tell

1100
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 7: to what degree the punishment would be if it's different.

1101
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 7: It's different for each service and command, but it won't

1102
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 7: be pretty.

1103
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 4: And I don't care. It has been. It has been

1104
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 4: difficult to do the basics. I can't sleep or eat.

1105
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 4: No f's given this too shall end?

1106
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 1: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories.

1107
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 3: But a quick three minute break from as from our sponsors.

1108
00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 2: My husband prioritized video games over our baby, so I

1109
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 2: refused to move abroad.

1110
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 4: But Babo was playing the SIMS. It was like a

1111
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 4: version of our baby.

1112
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 2: I twenty two female have been married to my husband,

1113
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 2: will call him Isaac for the post twenty two mail

1114
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 2: since December twenty twenty two and together since December twenty nineteen.

1115
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 2: My husband is in the service and we are stationed

1116
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: in Europe. By the way, this comes from looking for

1117
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: advice and if you want to submit your own stories,

1118
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,879
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime severed it. I'm

1119
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 2: Sophia and I'm Angie and Op says for some backstory.

1120
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 2: We married while he was home for Christmas during basic training,

1121
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,720
Speaker 2: and he immediately left after to go to South Korea.

1122
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 2: He had made the decision to leave and go on

1123
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 2: his own without talking to me, and I decided to

1124
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 2: shuck it up and manage until he got his next PCs.

1125
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 2: During this time, we hadn't communicated much and that caused

1126
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 2: a lot of tension for me. I was blindly following

1127
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 2: him and at one point considered leaving him since he

1128
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 2: prioritized his friends over spending the little window of time

1129
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 2: we had to talk together trying to keep the relationship alive.

1130
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 2: I decided to go and try to make things work

1131
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 2: since our marriage really hadn't had a chance and things

1132
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 2: were okay.

1133
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 4: I was having a hard time.

1134
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 2: Due to cultural differences, especially in a military environment, which

1135
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,439
Speaker 2: I had never been in previously. Also, having a lack

1136
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: of friends made things extremely lonely for me while staying

1137
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 2: in Europe, and I became a bit depressed and hardly

1138
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 2: left the house. In November twenty twenty four, I found

1139
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 2: out I was pregnant, and early twenty twenty five, my

1140
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 2: husband was told he'd be taking a pay cut. Never

1141
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 2: really let me in on our finances, even though I'm

1142
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 2: financially dependent on him, and just kept assuring me that

1143
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 2: we could make it work with the baby being on

1144
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 2: the way. However, during this time, he received an offer

1145
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 2: to go to some special school for training for his position,

1146
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 2: but it'd be for two months and I'd have to

1147
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 2: stay in Europe by myself. I wasn't comfortable with it

1148
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: due to being completely alone, pregnant, and the possibility of

1149
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:01,240
Speaker 2: something happening and being alone during it. He had offered

1150
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: to send me home for this time, which I was

1151
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 2: grateful for since my mother was having health issues. I

1152
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 2: was around six months pregnant and would have been close

1153
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: to eight months when I was supposed to arrive home.

1154
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 2: First arriving to my home state and starting to receive

1155
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 2: OBIE care, I found out my pregnancy was high risk

1156
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 2: and that I had IUGR. This was scary, and I

1157
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 2: was reaching out to my husband trying to ease any

1158
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 2: anxiety and also still try to keep him in the

1159
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 2: loop as he missed the appointments. Isaac never really reacted

1160
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 2: to the situation and just said that everything would be fine,

1161
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,840
Speaker 2: kind of brushing it off. The man who brought me

1162
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 2: to every OBI appointment and was very involved in the

1163
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:47,359
Speaker 2: pregnancy became radio silent again, like our separation when he

1164
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 2: was in Korea. Any updates i'd give him, he'd just

1165
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 2: leave me on red and when I'd ask why, he'd.

1166
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:56,320
Speaker 4: Just say, I don't know what you want me to say?

1167
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 4: You do?

1168
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,280
Speaker 2: You do know what she wants you to say? Telling

1169
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 2: you what she wants you to say.

1170
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 4: Listen to her and then say it.

1171
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 2: It's like you gotta do truthfully, That's it's pretty simple.

1172
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,879
Speaker 2: My goodness, this crew tiring and was stressful on top

1173
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 2: of an already stressful situation, and was stressful on top

1174
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 2: of an already stressful pregnancy. I was hoping he'd become

1175
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 2: more involved again once he was able to take leave

1176
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 2: and try to be here for the birth.

1177
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 4: I was wrong.

1178
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 2: He came to our home state on the notion of

1179
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 2: him being on leave, so he doesn't need to worry,

1180
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,959
Speaker 2: help out, or do much of anything. All day long,

1181
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 2: almost twenty four to seven, he's on his PS five

1182
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 2: with his friends or on his gaming laptop playing Minecraft.

1183
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,720
Speaker 2: It's worth mentioning. We decided to get me a dog

1184
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: for when we are supposed to fly back to Europe.

1185
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: But he's been no help training or managing our dog's behavior,

1186
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 2: and this was very foreshadowing for me. He knew it

1187
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 2: was risky getting a dog during this time, but before

1188
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 2: having my son, I worked hard to get him to

1189
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 2: learn some basics, like say, we were hardly interacting with

1190
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 2: each other, and tensions got worse when he didn't want

1191
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:07,320
Speaker 2: to help my mom out with groceries or little things

1192
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: while we stayed with her waiting for our baby to

1193
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 2: make his arrival. Completely free, she'd give up his bedroom

1194
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 2: so we'd have space. But two weeks before the induction,

1195
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 2: my husband made a comment suggesting that our child and

1196
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 2: I should stay behind so we could get BAH and

1197
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 2: separation and try to save some money while I stayed

1198
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 2: with my mom. Then he finally admits how much he's

1199
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 2: now receiving and it's not even enough for one person

1200
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 2: alone to live off of, nevermind three what.

1201
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 4: Is he doing? Yikes?

1202
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 2: Dude, Like again this whole time, he's just been leaving

1203
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 2: op in the dark. Yeah, and right before she's about to,

1204
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 2: you know, have this baby, he's like, so we can't

1205
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,919
Speaker 2: afford to have this baby. Yeah, and also you need

1206
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 2: to get a job. Yeah, what do I mean? Like?

1207
00:56:56,680 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 4: How do you? I don't get how you like think way? Yeah?

1208
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 4: Like and like not catch this ahead of time? You know,

1209
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 4: I have no idea.

1210
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:08,760
Speaker 2: I think that he knew this was all gonna happen,

1211
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 2: and he's just putting everything off. He tells me this

1212
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,840
Speaker 2: over not wanting to purchase us fast food since he

1213
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: didn't want to get groceries. After just buying a brand

1214
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 2: new PS five, three hundred dollars worth of Pokemon and

1215
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 2: a three K leg sleeve. Mind you, I have been

1216
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 2: nickel and diming myself to not be a burden and

1217
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 2: just getting my necessities. This caused me to stress more

1218
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 2: and as I tried to make a plan and figure

1219
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 2: out what me staying behind would look like. But after

1220
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 2: creating the plan, my husband says that it was a

1221
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 2: joke and that we'll all be going back together and

1222
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 2: make things work financially. Two weeks after that conversation, our

1223
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 2: son was born. It was thirty six hours of induced

1224
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 2: labor and it was exhausting. All things considered. It went

1225
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 2: exceptionally well and we were both over the moon being

1226
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 2: first time parents. But once we arrived back at my

1227
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 2: mom he instantly started playing video games.

1228
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 4: All day long. Again.

1229
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 2: When he'd take the baby, he'd just sit him in

1230
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 2: his lap while he played and barely paid any attention

1231
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 2: to him and was very careless. Many times our dog

1232
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 2: has tried to jump into his lap and nip at

1233
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 2: the baby. One day, Isaac had even fallen asleep on

1234
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: the couch with our baby in an unsafe position with

1235
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 2: our dog free roaming, and my younger sister had to

1236
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 2: take our baby from him. Then he had me primarily

1237
00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 2: taking care of our child all day and all night.

1238
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 2: I was barely functioning for the first month, while my

1239
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 2: husband seemed to be having a great vacation.

1240
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, she just had a child.

1241
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 2: She just had a kid.

1242
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 4: He needs to be stepping up so much while she

1243
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 4: heals well.

1244
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 2: It feels like he is on leave and thinks that

1245
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 2: it's you know, he doesn't have to do anything right.

1246
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,480
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you're on leave because you just became

1247
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 2: a parent.

1248
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're You're supposed to be given time to take

1249
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:55,080
Speaker 7: care of your child, but you're not.

1250
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 4: You're not doing that. Oh my god.

1251
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 2: As my belly started going down my first week home

1252
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 2: with a baby, I mentioned that I was slimming down

1253
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,440
Speaker 2: way faster than I thought and was feeling confident even

1254
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 2: though I had a little mom pouch. Isaac turns to

1255
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 2: me and says that I better get on them crunches,

1256
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 2: and that flipped a switch in my brain. I'm aware

1257
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 2: of the hormonal plummet happening at this time, but found

1258
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 2: myself crying over how he wouldn't check up on me

1259
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 2: with how I'm doing physically or mentally, but I was

1260
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 2: bending over backwards to make sure he was fine. One morning,

1261
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 2: I asked him to pick up baby wipes, and when

1262
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 2: he came home. He came back with protection and lube.

1263
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 4: That's crazy, that's crazy. I hope that's aren't for you. Yeah,

1264
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 4: I hope those aren't for.

1265
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 2: You, because you're certainly nothing's happening there.

1266
00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 4: Uh huh.

1267
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 2: As tensions progressed, I had taken my husband aside to

1268
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 2: go on a drive so we could speak freely while

1269
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 2: my mom watched our son, and I laid everything out

1270
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 2: there and how uneasy I felt. I desperately wanted him

1271
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 2: to say something, literally anything. He defended the protection in lube,

1272
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 2: saying that it it was for just in case once

1273
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 2: I was cleared, and then everything would be better once

1274
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 2: we got back to Europe. Do you think the baby's

1275
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 2: just gonna disappear when you're in Europe?

1276
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,959
Speaker 4: Yeah? What? Baby just doesn't exist there?

1277
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:13,320
Speaker 7: And like, if that's true, that that's why you're getting

1278
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 7: all of that stuff, why would you get it now

1279
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 7: when she's not cleared, she's still healing down there.

1280
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, and also didn't get what she sent him there for.

1281
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, you are supposed to get things that you needed now,

1282
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:27,919
Speaker 7: supposed to get baby wipes. Yeah, Oh my god, I'm

1283
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 7: terrified to go back since I am completely alone there

1284
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 7: aside from my husband and now child, for seeing myself

1285
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 7: taking on our son mainly on my own while he

1286
01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 7: works during the day and would just come home and

1287
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 7: be on the game all evening. Since I'm financially dependent

1288
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 7: on him, having to rely on him to send us

1289
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:48,560
Speaker 7: back if things didn't work out feels dangerous.

1290
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 4: I should mention.

1291
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 2: That he never says anything when I try to talk

1292
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:56,160
Speaker 2: about anything regarding our relationship. He's been He's been taking

1293
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 2: our son a little bit more during the day while

1294
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 2: I try to sleep, but that's it. He's still careless

1295
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 2: with him. Even when I try to give him pointers

1296
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 2: or correct him, he just ignores me and continues on

1297
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 2: leave him, leave him, get out of it.

1298
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 4: Go abroad with this man.

1299
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 2: Can't take care of you, can't take care of your son,

1300
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 2: doesn't really seem to care about his family at all.

1301
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 7: Right, He needs to be alone and figure out that

1302
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:25,480
Speaker 7: he can't even take care of himself. If he's spending

1303
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 7: all of his money on games and all that stuff

1304
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 7: and it's not even enough money to afford himself anyway,

1305
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 7: then yeah, he needs to suffer those consequences.

1306
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 4: Yep.

1307
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 2: But you need to stay with your mom, find a

1308
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 2: way to support yourself apart from this guy.

1309
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 4: Yep, and go from there.

1310
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 2: He's still purchasing Pokemon and clothes for himself, even though

1311
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 2: we're still on a tight budget, and he's yet to

1312
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 2: even check up on me, still physically or mentally, and

1313
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 2: won't even pay me the slightest compliment. I felt myself

1314
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 2: pulling away from him, but we're now verying new parents,

1315
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 2: and I don't want to deprive him of our son.

1316
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 2: We've been together since we were juniors in high school,

1317
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 2: so staying in the States feels like the end of us.

1318
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 2: I've talked to my mom and friends, but everyone is

1319
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 2: so biased and I just need someone to tell me

1320
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,720
Speaker 2: their thoughts on the situation. I was banking on our

1321
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 2: son's passport not arriving in time for the flight, but

1322
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 2: it came within two weeks, and now I really need

1323
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 2: to make a decision before we leave in the next

1324
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 2: two weeks. I know I don't want to go, but

1325
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 2: I guess I need someone unbiased to validate the decision.