Speaker 1: And oh my god, let's do this. Hell I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio podcast. Hello, Hello everyone, Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us for another episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: That's Vanessa beatboxing in the background, joined in studio by
Speaker 1: Jared Easton and Erica the usual suspect. Today, UM, very
Speaker 1: special episode for you. We're gonna talk a little bit
Speaker 1: about what Jared and Ashley were arguing about all last
Speaker 1: night for a few hours, arguing having an adult conversation about.
Speaker 1: We also have a very special guest joining us by
Speaker 1: the name of Taylor Nolan. You know her from Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise, Vanessa's bestie from her season. Um, and we're
Speaker 1: gonna take some emails later on as well. Yeah, absolutely
Speaker 1: should be pretty Goodhow but we freaking we jump right
Speaker 1: into a discussion that I actually posted on the Help
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating Facebook group, which a lot of
Speaker 1: people voted on. Thank you for doing that. Uh So
Speaker 1: I asked the question, guys, is leading on leading someone
Speaker 1: on the same as giving someone mixed signals? And the
Speaker 1: reason I thought about this because I was watching Colton
Speaker 1: and Tia and their saga that continues to go on
Speaker 1: Bachelor Paradise and a a lot of people are accusing Colton
Speaker 1: of leading Tia on and I couldn't disagree more. Vanessa,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts? Are leading someone on the same
Speaker 1: as giving them mixed signals? Are they two different things? Okay,
Speaker 1: if we're basing this off of Bathroom Paradise, um, I'm
Speaker 1: probably gonna made fun of Remember when we roasting me
Speaker 1: last time. So like Vanessa never watches anything faster related, Well,
Speaker 1: I thought up to date with Bathroom Paradise, Vanessa up.
Speaker 1: Oh no, we were saying that that round of a plus. Listen,
Speaker 1: I just saw this place. So when anyone wants to
Speaker 1: blame your house, all right, moving on leading someone on
Speaker 1: versus sending mixed signals, I think it's the that's the
Speaker 1: same book. Wow, it's the exact same thing. We're dropping
Speaker 1: bs bombs too, that's our passion, always feel about it. Well,
Speaker 1: then you have the backing of our friends over at
Speaker 1: the Facebook group because of you said that leading someone
Speaker 1: on is the same as mixed signal. Now I disagree,
Speaker 1: so do I. I would like to know if are
Speaker 1: female voters. I'm sure they're mostly female. I would imagine. Yes, Okay,
Speaker 1: well this is my take on it. Um. I know
Speaker 1: we like we were kind of discussing this last night
Speaker 1: and someone was like, yeah, but that's the whole point
Speaker 1: of dating. I think that if you are, we're at
Speaker 1: an age. I mean, I'm a little bit older. I
Speaker 1: just figured out that I'm the oldest in the in
Speaker 1: the studio right now, son an age where if you
Speaker 1: know you're into someone, um, you're going to treat them
Speaker 1: in a respectful manner where you're not going to dive
Speaker 1: in deep into sending them signals of like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I want to be with you, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: want to scarce monogamously, and then it's two months, you
Speaker 1: months down the line. That's not where your head as
Speaker 1: is anymore. If you know, if that's not where your
Speaker 1: head is, that then you shouldn't be sending those singles
Speaker 1: at the beginning. You should, you know what I mean? So,
Speaker 1: I think leading someone on and then it's the same,
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. I understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: But having said that, I think listen, leading someone on
Speaker 1: is with the intent of pretty much lying to them.
Speaker 1: We're sending mixed signals. I think is someone being honest
Speaker 1: and saying, hey, I'm confused right now. See I think
Speaker 1: you're okay. Sorry, no, go continue, I want to hear
Speaker 1: you much jumping, Let's go. I think they're so completely different,
Speaker 1: it's not even they don't even compare in the sense
Speaker 1: that leading someone on is your intentionally kind of keeping
Speaker 1: them on a string, maybe going out of your way
Speaker 1: to do romantic gestures or things for them. No, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: let me finish, please while you please not interrupt you
Speaker 1: while I'm trying to do. On the On the on
Speaker 1: the flip side of that, on the contrary, sending mixed
Speaker 1: signals is something that I am. I've I'm guilty of.
Speaker 1: I've done that before solely because I'm not going out
Speaker 1: of my way to do romantic gestures. But I think
Speaker 1: in apparently I'm an affectionate person, and sometimes that affection
Speaker 1: can come across as showing interest. And so what I'm
Speaker 1: saying the difference is is sending mixed signals and leading
Speaker 1: someone on are so different because you can be kind
Speaker 1: to someone and that person is going to perceive those
Speaker 1: actions and that kindness as affection, while sending leading someone
Speaker 1: on is like sending them flowers or taking them out
Speaker 1: to dinner, that kind of thing. And I think that
Speaker 1: leading someone on is and it's literally leading them to
Speaker 1: believe that there's a relationship at the end of this
Speaker 1: when you know there isn't send exactly. It's the same
Speaker 1: thing as sending a mixed action. That's one thing. Hold on,
Speaker 1: if you're talking about effect enough one thing. But if
Speaker 1: you're if you're sending and we spoke about this on
Speaker 1: the podcast last week theme I forget what the terminology is.
Speaker 1: But if you're sending someone a text message read commenting,
Speaker 1: or last thing at night, or like a sweet message
Speaker 1: of like I think I'm thinking about you, or just
Speaker 1: something that makes the other person assume that you're into them,
Speaker 1: that is leading someone on. But that's also not sending
Speaker 1: mixed signals. That's the definition of leading them on, not
Speaker 1: mixing signals. That's the difference is that's that's one thing,
Speaker 1: absolutely right, if you're if you're you're sending it, sending
Speaker 1: a message one day and then you're not that you are,
Speaker 1: that you are that you're not. Yeah, but mixing those
Speaker 1: is also being honest about your confusion. For example of vans,
Speaker 1: if somebody came up to you and said, hey, I
Speaker 1: really like listen. I would rather have somebody be honest
Speaker 1: about um their confusion rather than lie about their decisiveness
Speaker 1: and then find out that they were never really interested
Speaker 1: in having relationship at the end of the road. For example,
Speaker 1: I think that giving me signals, like Dean said, is
Speaker 1: doing romantic things. Having said that, being honest and saying
Speaker 1: I'm confused about my feelings. I'm not sure where to
Speaker 1: go from here, but like, I like you, I like
Speaker 1: you in my life, but I'm not sure if this
Speaker 1: is going to be a long term thing. I feel
Speaker 1: that's sending mixed signals because you're doing one thing but
Speaker 1: also saying another. Having said that, leading someone on would
Speaker 1: be like I want a relationship with you, I want
Speaker 1: to um, you know, end up with you, and then
Speaker 1: he knows all the while he's just using you, and
Speaker 1: he's saying these things just to get you in bed. Well,
Speaker 1: I think if you're being honest, if you're communicating your
Speaker 1: thoughts and saying I'm not sure if I want to
Speaker 1: be with you, that's a whole but that's the whole
Speaker 1: other conversation. I'm just if you remove the honestly aspect
Speaker 1: of it, and if and someone is just sending you
Speaker 1: the wrong signals and the wrong text messages at the
Speaker 1: right time, after the right text messages at the right time,
Speaker 1: but they're just bored and they need like validation from
Speaker 1: another person. Then that's leading someone on. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: also you're being honest. If you're being honest about it,
Speaker 1: then it's two different things. Yes, I agree with you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I think the difference it lies in that mixed
Speaker 1: signals is honesty. I don't know for me, for example,
Speaker 1: like if I call back on my own past, Yes,
Speaker 1: I did romantic things for Ashley and I wanted her
Speaker 1: in my life because I really cared about her. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, I was away a little saying
Speaker 1: like I think we should be friends, and I was
Speaker 1: also lying to that extent because I was more confused
Speaker 1: than I was leading on. But I just always thought
Speaker 1: to be better to say, let's just be friends, because
Speaker 1: it's unfair for me to be one foot in one foot?
Speaker 1: So are you leading your send your mixed signals. I
Speaker 1: was never leading her on, And that's what always makes
Speaker 1: me mad is that Ashley once said that you led
Speaker 1: me on. I was like, no, I did not. I'm
Speaker 1: remember lying to you, I'm gonna have to agree with Actually,
Speaker 1: I think you were leading her on because you were,
Speaker 1: like you said, you were doing romantic things for her.
Speaker 1: That's leading her to believe that you're interested in having
Speaker 1: a relationship for her. I'm not saying that you lied
Speaker 1: about anything or anything that I just the way that
Speaker 1: I look at him is leading someone on. Is someone
Speaker 1: thinks there should be a relationship and the other person
Speaker 1: doesn't while sending mixed signals. Is it's it's the relationships
Speaker 1: are removed from it. It's just like you're being a
Speaker 1: kind affectionate person for whatever reason. Like that me, that's
Speaker 1: just who you are, because you are you, Jared. You
Speaker 1: are a very kind and affectionate person. But if you're
Speaker 1: going out of your way to like set up these
Speaker 1: romantic things for her and like make her feel like
Speaker 1: she has a glimmer of hope to like date you,
Speaker 1: that's leading someone on. So are you saying that you
Speaker 1: let on both Christina and Daniel. I think I said
Speaker 1: I think shots are being fired here today. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying if if if you are describing that exact explanation
Speaker 1: of me with Ashley, then you have to say it
Speaker 1: about yourself, but I dated both of them. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm engaged Ashley, okay, rubbing it in my
Speaker 1: face a little bit more. No, I don't it in
Speaker 1: that way. But like if you're putting on the day asked,
Speaker 1: I'm saying you, I think that you did lead her on.
Speaker 1: I'm very very happy that you two were able to
Speaker 1: lead into this engagement together. Of course, you guys are
Speaker 1: my favorite couple of all time. Um, I think that I,
Speaker 1: like I said earlier, I'm good at sending mixed signals,
Speaker 1: good obviously being a relative term. I do send mixed
Speaker 1: signals because I want to love everyone and I want
Speaker 1: everyone to love me back. And by doing that, it
Speaker 1: sends it sets someone up to be like, okay, like
Speaker 1: he's interested in me, even though the interest isn't maybe
Speaker 1: quite as high as it is totally. But I was
Speaker 1: even gonna back you up because I think back upon
Speaker 1: the Last Paradise and I said that Dean wasn't leading
Speaker 1: on Christina, or Dean wasn't leading on Delo. He gave
Speaker 1: them mixing because he was confused. But you were always
Speaker 1: honest in your confusion. For example, like like Chris is
Speaker 1: about to be called out tonight apparently on Bachelor Paradise
Speaker 1: for leading to you on because he said, Hey, I
Speaker 1: this guy. He's on Bachelor and Paradise. But he pretty
Speaker 1: much told Tia, I only want to be with you,
Speaker 1: and then he went to go and kiss Crystal. He
Speaker 1: was leading Ti on compared to Colin, who was like, yes,
Speaker 1: I do like you, but on confus used about my
Speaker 1: feelings and so he was doing nice things but also
Speaker 1: saying he didn't want to be in a relationship. So
Speaker 1: he was sending this was leading to the Okay, can
Speaker 1: I time in? So I think, let's say hyposthetical situation.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put Dean and I in this, Okay, So
Speaker 1: let's say beans in love with me. Yeah, okay. So
Speaker 1: I know that Dean's in love with me, and I
Speaker 1: take advantage of the fact that I'm getting attention from him,
Speaker 1: and I kind of want it and I like it.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to send him those signals that make
Speaker 1: him assume that I too, am into him. No, here's
Speaker 1: the questions, because that's you leading me on. I think, well,
Speaker 1: here's the question for you, Vanessa. If if this was true,
Speaker 1: are you into Dean? Could you possibly think that there
Speaker 1: was a relationship between you and Dean in the future,
Speaker 1: or do you know right now that there's no possibility
Speaker 1: of you guys ending up together. I think, well, in
Speaker 1: our treation, I I mean, it depends, It depends where.
Speaker 1: It always depends on what Okay, what happens is there's
Speaker 1: two people that have two different expectations on relationships and
Speaker 1: on dating. I'm the type of person that's like, Wow,
Speaker 1: if I'm going to give someone attention, it's because I
Speaker 1: actually really like them. I'm not gonna call a guy,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna kiss the guy, or
Speaker 1: I'm not going to sleep with someone if I'm not
Speaker 1: a hundred percent into them. So I assume if the
Speaker 1: guy is texting me, or if the guy wants to
Speaker 1: kiss me or hold my hand in public, because he's
Speaker 1: a hundred percent into me as well, And then if
Speaker 1: he's not, I get confused. I'm like, what the posts?
Speaker 1: Why why are you? Why are you leading me on?
Speaker 1: Why are you sending big signals if you were doing
Speaker 1: everything that in my book describe a person who's really
Speaker 1: into me with two yes, But I think you're taking
Speaker 1: out the part the person's definition. But it depends on
Speaker 1: what the person's definition is of, Like listen, if I
Speaker 1: was someone that would be if I work at on Paradise,
Speaker 1: I think it'd be like, ah, kiss Sara, Sara. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't think i'd be flying for one specific person
Speaker 1: because it seems to me like everyone on Fairdise just
Speaker 1: kind of enjoys their time getting to know multiple people.
Speaker 1: It's not like being on the bast Or franchise totally
Speaker 1: for one person. And that's totally fine, But I think
Speaker 1: what the part that you're taking out when you're describing
Speaker 1: that one relationship or like hypothetically speaking that one relationship,
Speaker 1: you're taking out the conversations that you guys have. And
Speaker 1: if he was saying, listen, I'm confused about where we're
Speaker 1: going and I'm still open to dating other people, then
Speaker 1: I think he's sending you mixed signals. But if he's
Speaker 1: telling you, hey, I think we can end up in
Speaker 1: a relationship together in actuality, he's just lying because you
Speaker 1: know he wants something else from you, then I think
Speaker 1: that's leading someone on. I see your point. I think
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I don't know, but I guess that
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just saying, if you didn't have that conversation
Speaker 1: and if you're not at that stage in the relationship yet,
Speaker 1: but everything else leads you to believe that you're you
Speaker 1: are monogamous and that you are committed to each other,
Speaker 1: and you know before you have that conversation, because there
Speaker 1: are certain like relationships that you can be in and
Speaker 1: kind of put the puzzle pieces together and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have to be asking this question right now
Speaker 1: and put holes in the relationship and like get you know,
Speaker 1: stuck the magic out of the first couple of months
Speaker 1: in it. I think you as absolutely. I think I
Speaker 1: think Jerry kind of sold me on his thought process
Speaker 1: because what we've seen a lot, especially a better paradise
Speaker 1: is here. Well, and let me defend it for a second,
Speaker 1: because I feel like what we've seen a lot of
Speaker 1: in Bachelor in Paradise this year, almost at every turn,
Speaker 1: is guys saying what they need to say in order
Speaker 1: to keep a girl on the line. Like you see
Speaker 1: Chris talking to Tia to make her feel comfortable and
Speaker 1: then he goes and does something completely different. That's that
Speaker 1: level of dishonesty I think is the what the foundation
Speaker 1: of leading someone on versus mixed signals is like it's
Speaker 1: an authentic terror between not really knowing what to do
Speaker 1: sort of things. So I understand you're coming from. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry if me saying that you let Ashley on him
Speaker 1: across is me calling you a lie or anything that
Speaker 1: because you're not it did not at all. We're talking here, Okay,
Speaker 1: I love it. I'm having discussions like this where people
Speaker 1: are in two different points, like trying to argue to
Speaker 1: three different points. You want to know whose point I
Speaker 1: think we should take into account is Taylor's? I totally agree.
Speaker 1: Can we get her in here real quick? I think
Speaker 1: while Taylor is coming in here, I have something very
Speaker 1: special that I want to talk about because I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys. Are you guys big Lionel Richie's face,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, tiny dancer, dog God, here we go
Speaker 1: that I want to tell him I'm more of your
Speaker 1: favorite favorite kind of guy or all night long? The
Speaker 1: cool thing is, guys, listen all night Long is one
Speaker 1: of my favorite. Also, endless love, Happy Gilmore. Please tell
Speaker 1: me you guys know where I'm talking about over here.
Speaker 1: Lionel Richies all the hits Las Vegas residency has returned
Speaker 1: to Zappo's Theater at Planet Hollywood. Guys, it's after an
Speaker 1: amazing three year run. The final sixteen dates of Lionels
Speaker 1: All the Hits Vegas Residency will be this August and October. Guys,
Speaker 1: I am going. I'm super excited to listen to Line
Speaker 1: Richie Live. It's there. We're gonna hang out, We're gonna
Speaker 1: hold hands, We're gonna listen endless left together signals. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be amazing. Maybe I'll lead you on and you
Speaker 1: send me mix sages all right, guys. Tickets, v I
Speaker 1: P tables and meet and greets are available at ticket
Speaker 1: master dot com from Lona Richie's Paul the Hits Las
Speaker 1: Vegas Residency check it out at the Zappos Theater this
Speaker 1: August and October at Planet Hollywood. Now, boom uh, we
Speaker 1: have a very special guest in studio, Taylor. How do
Speaker 1: you say your last aim? So sorry, A lot of
Speaker 1: coated last night, So I completely blanked because I am
Speaker 1: an idiot. If you haven't recognized by that. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. Yeah, thanks for having me, Taylor.
Speaker 1: We want your input on this real quick. Um leading
Speaker 1: someone on verus sending mixed signals quick one minute thoughts
Speaker 1: on what the differences could be between the two of them,
Speaker 1: or do you think you're the same um at first?
Speaker 1: Like my gut, I would say that they're very different.
Speaker 1: Leading someone on, you are giving them signs that you're
Speaker 1: interested and maybe you're just like with holding a little bit,
Speaker 1: whereas Nick signals as like you're very hot and cold okay, interesting,
Speaker 1: Like mixed signals is like you're you're definitely going for it,
Speaker 1: you're pursuing it, but then you're also like acting completely disinterested,
Speaker 1: whereas leading someone on, I feel like the opposite, yes,
Speaker 1: is kind of lacking, acting interested when you're really not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of Okay, I got that. I like that. I
Speaker 1: like that aspect. I agree. I think that's nailed right
Speaker 1: on that perfect side with me. Were you not listening,
Speaker 1: I had the other side to it to me. I'm sorry, girl,
Speaker 1: I would have had your back. So, Vanessa, do you
Speaker 1: want to take it? Because you and Taylor obviously have
Speaker 1: a strong friendship from your time on the season together,
Speaker 1: and I think you guys have hung out quite a
Speaker 1: bit post season as well, Right yep, yeah, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be with each other, got in. Yeah, we're face
Speaker 1: timing before this, and then we're going to be together
Speaker 1: at a conference here soon together too, So I forgot
Speaker 1: a thought that Yeah, just's in a couple of weeks. Yes,
Speaker 1: excited to see you. Thanks guys. All right, well, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: what kind of questions you want to lead off with Taylor,
Speaker 1: because obviously we have a lot to cover. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying you got is really besties. It's just it's
Speaker 1: mostly appropriate for you to be asking. And just to
Speaker 1: give it a little background, I don't think anybody needs it. Taylor,
Speaker 1: you're obviously on next season of the Bachelor, and then
Speaker 1: you went on Bachelor in Paradise last year with Dean,
Speaker 1: and then you were engaged to Derek, which has recently ended.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to hear about that. Um, just to give
Speaker 1: our audience a little background on Taylor, you probably already
Speaker 1: know it. You also have a podcast I do. It's
Speaker 1: called Let's Talk About It with Taylor on Perfect Let's
Speaker 1: Talk About It. I love the name of that, And
Speaker 1: so Vanessa go, what question he's got for Taylor? Well, actually,
Speaker 1: Taylor and I I just I was on Taylor's podcast,
Speaker 1: uh like maybe last month. We're talking about breakups and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, having to deal with the public breakups and
Speaker 1: the steps of going getting over someone blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: I think so, I think I want to ask, and
Speaker 1: I know obviously all the answers and I have mulsible
Speaker 1: questions that I'm like, you know what, we'll keep it
Speaker 1: for a private conversation, But I guess I just people
Speaker 1: probably want to know, how are you dealing with the
Speaker 1: aftermath of your public break up and where your your
Speaker 1: heart and your head is at right now. Fantastic question, Vanessa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean how I handle it. Like initially, it's just
Speaker 1: a lot of support from friends and family and just
Speaker 1: kind of like getting disconnected a little bit um from
Speaker 1: everything social wise, a little bit of disconnect from the
Speaker 1: relationship communication wise, and like really just getting back in
Speaker 1: touch with your life and the people that you care about,
Speaker 1: and um, for me, it's like getting back to the
Speaker 1: things that I'm really passionate about and give me life
Speaker 1: and give me happiness. And for me, that's like animals
Speaker 1: and food, plants, plants. What's your favorite animal? Cat? Cat? Cat?
Speaker 1: I think a tat And I'm like, wait, not down
Speaker 1: with one? A tat is Yeah, cat, I'm like a
Speaker 1: crazy cat at heart. Um right now, I have one.
Speaker 1: I had two. They came together. They were my foster's
Speaker 1: used to foster a lot um and I did a
Speaker 1: lot of rescue work when I lived in Baltimore, so
Speaker 1: they were my fosters and then um, I adopted them
Speaker 1: and one of them passed away recently at the same
Speaker 1: time as the breakup. Oh my god, I'm what's your
Speaker 1: cat's name? Lily? Lily, That's such a great name. Yeah.
Speaker 1: She came to me with it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: how right, you know, rip the l okay. So what
Speaker 1: kind of advice would you have for the listeners that
Speaker 1: are dealing with a breakup themselves? Obviously it's a little
Speaker 1: bit different from your situation to the next, just because
Speaker 1: of obviously the publicity of it and then the engagement
Speaker 1: is a little bit more severe than like a boyfriend girlfriend.
Speaker 1: But for the listeners out there, because we do often
Speaker 1: get emails or callers or people like inquiring, like I
Speaker 1: just went through this breakup, it's incredibly challenging for me.
Speaker 1: And obviously you deal a lot with mental health because
Speaker 1: that's your you know, your interest in what you study
Speaker 1: in college and what your profession is all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. So what kind of advice would you have
Speaker 1: for a listener um that's kind of going through a
Speaker 1: similar situation. Yeah, first, I would say, like practice being
Speaker 1: kind to yourself. Um, Like self compassion is something I
Speaker 1: think everyone struggles with actually implementing because it's kind of
Speaker 1: a weird concept, um, but really just actually like sitting
Speaker 1: and being kind to yourself. So I think you beat
Speaker 1: yourself up and you second so many things about yourself
Speaker 1: during a breakup, and you know, you feel sometimes there's
Speaker 1: like the sense of rejection or sense of being alone
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be alone forever, and just kind of
Speaker 1: giving yourself those like, um, checking in on that inner
Speaker 1: talk and like giving yourself reality checks you know, and
Speaker 1: mean kind to yourself. Yeah, those are really important things
Speaker 1: to do, was it? Um? So if we rewind a
Speaker 1: little bit, you were, like I said, you were on
Speaker 1: NIX season to The Bachelor, and you were famously known
Speaker 1: for going on a two own kin. So, uh, did
Speaker 1: you ever talk to Kurin after the show? Did you
Speaker 1: guys ever become friends? Because then you went to Paradise
Speaker 1: and the whole thing happened. Um, I think our listeners
Speaker 1: would be pretty curious, like, because I feel like we
Speaker 1: always see like two on ones and people that like
Speaker 1: appear to hate each other on the show, And um,
Speaker 1: did you guys actually hate each other? Were you kind
Speaker 1: of friendly? I don't even, honestly, I don't even know.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm asking. I don't even. Yeah no, Um,
Speaker 1: I mean we spoke at Women's Hell all and then
Speaker 1: uh didn't see each other or speak to each other
Speaker 1: again until Paradise. Um, but even was short lived because
Speaker 1: obviously the whole was on the beach for two days.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so, um, I mean we're not friends. We're
Speaker 1: not like people that catch up or message each other
Speaker 1: or have literally any interaction. Do you guys follow each
Speaker 1: other on Instagram? I don't believe she follows me, and
Speaker 1: I don't. I just I'll never forget that too. On
Speaker 1: one day because man, you guys, yeah, there was a
Speaker 1: big were there. Oh my god, you missed out. I
Speaker 1: was at like a viewing party in Atlanta with all
Speaker 1: these different Bachelor people and um, like James Taylor was
Speaker 1: there and Wells was there, and there was a bunch
Speaker 1: of us jin seven o uh seven. God, I can't
Speaker 1: pronounce anything Um, but I just vividly remember that too
Speaker 1: on one and then um, so then you went to
Speaker 1: Paradise and did you know, so you got engaged not
Speaker 1: on the show, but you got engaged on the reunion show.
Speaker 1: Did you see it coming at all? The engagement? Come on?
Speaker 1: Yes you did. I remember I was at in event
Speaker 1: in Nashville after Yes, Vanessa, would you want to bet
Speaker 1: money on it? If I could see it coming as
Speaker 1: an outsider, I there had to be like your hint,
Speaker 1: like an inkling inside of you that's like, Okay, something
Speaker 1: big is going to happen here. But let's talk about
Speaker 1: that for a second. Obviously leading up to it before
Speaker 1: and because we had a unique season of Paradise obviously
Speaker 1: with the whole scandal quote unquote um with Kriton de Mario,
Speaker 1: so I could be like we were kind of working
Speaker 1: on an abbreviated timeline, but also because you and Derek
Speaker 1: kind of hit it off in the beginning the first
Speaker 1: So for the listeners, I guess we had a timeline
Speaker 1: of we filmed for like three days and then we
Speaker 1: were all together for like two days, and then we
Speaker 1: all left for maybe like a week and a half.
Speaker 1: We were there for like five days five days total
Speaker 1: before we left right and then So so the interesting
Speaker 1: I guess dynamic with these relationships is for those like
Speaker 1: for that week and a half, there's like ten days
Speaker 1: where a lot of the cast members who had never
Speaker 1: met each other, like a Taylor and Derek, like me
Speaker 1: and Christina were interacting on a day to day basis
Speaker 1: off off camera, like via text like whatever it is
Speaker 1: you guys all hanging out. When you guys had to
Speaker 1: leave the resort and go back to the Vendanta where
Speaker 1: you go, you guys were able to interact. So you're
Speaker 1: really developing your relationship with Derek and you with Christina
Speaker 1: off and I remember this day, I was like Ben's
Speaker 1: Orn and Raven. We're all like caddled up next to
Speaker 1: each other, which is just hilarious look back and look
Speaker 1: at now. I remember you and Christina were like sneaking
Speaker 1: because we weren't supposed to like get out of our
Speaker 1: hotel room. Remember there were all these rumors of like
Speaker 1: who's sneaking around tonight? Like well, so so it was
Speaker 1: just a weird timeline for us because we kind of
Speaker 1: had the to experience both of obviously being on camera
Speaker 1: at the beach with each other and then also kind
Speaker 1: of like real world stuff as well. Um, but it's
Speaker 1: still such a quick amount of time. And it's funny
Speaker 1: because I got dinner with a friend actually not too
Speaker 1: long ago, and she was talking to me. She's like,
Speaker 1: she's like, obviously, none of these bacheloration relationships work out
Speaker 1: is because you don't really have enough time to build
Speaker 1: a friendship with them before you really like dive into
Speaker 1: a relationship. And so when you look back, maybe like
Speaker 1: on your time on the beach on Paradise, do you
Speaker 1: think that, like the timeline was too quick to get engaged,
Speaker 1: but you I mean maybe because you had a little
Speaker 1: bit more time with him, Like, what are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on kind of the timeline from meeting to him bending
Speaker 1: the knee? Vanessa? Wait, the timeline between? Do you think
Speaker 1: what are your Vanessa, what are your thoughts about the
Speaker 1: timeline of getting engaged in the show, Because there are
Speaker 1: there are critics, Yeah, I mean, Vanessa's engaged after three
Speaker 1: months exactly. Their critics that say people are getting engaged
Speaker 1: way too soon. You well, okay, there's three single people.
Speaker 1: It's a little it's a little quick. It's a little quick,
Speaker 1: for sure. Would you if you could go back and
Speaker 1: change anything, would you anything at all? Even like what
Speaker 1: you what you wore at a rose ceremony or something
Speaker 1: like that. If I could go back and change things,
Speaker 1: which I'm a strong could say yes that you can
Speaker 1: say yes to that. The answer is obvious. Yes, we
Speaker 1: all want to go back and change things certain things, sure,
Speaker 1: but also like I strongly believe and I'm happy with
Speaker 1: like how everything has led me to where I am
Speaker 1: today kind of thing, Butterfly, Like you could have changed
Speaker 1: something small. I could brush your teeth an hour or
Speaker 1: later in the day, and yeah, I would have no
Speaker 1: idea where I would be out to be a very
Speaker 1: different person. Um but I think like one of the
Speaker 1: biggest things I've learned that like I want to change
Speaker 1: in my life going forward, um is I think just
Speaker 1: like understanding and empowering myself to like take more control
Speaker 1: over the decisions and the things that happened in my life.
Speaker 1: If that makes sense. Well, so what made you kind
Speaker 1: of have that fun is there's it Was there a
Speaker 1: specific moment or that you're like, okay, like I need
Speaker 1: to take more control over this, or was it something
Speaker 1: like just kind of piled up just like I think
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of pressure developing a relationship on
Speaker 1: the show, and that things, you know, move a lot quicker,
Speaker 1: and you know, people aren't always necessarily on the same
Speaker 1: page with things, and um, I think it's important like
Speaker 1: to not only speak up and like speak your truth,
Speaker 1: but also like make sure that that you heard and
Speaker 1: make sure that your voice is heard and that you
Speaker 1: feel like your voice matters. It's interesting when you say that,
Speaker 1: because you are, um a rare exception to the Bachelor
Speaker 1: couple rule. A few exceptions that you got engaged after
Speaker 1: spending time off screen with somebody. You know, you guys
Speaker 1: like paradise. And then so paradise ended, you know, late
Speaker 1: June filming, I really believe it was, and then you
Speaker 1: guys spent a couple of months and then went to
Speaker 1: roon and show August. If I had to assume about
Speaker 1: this exact time, holy holy. And so it's interesting that
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't get that. A lot of
Speaker 1: people have the month of filming and then they're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're either going to do this we're not going to
Speaker 1: do this. Um, So I wonder if you could talk
Speaker 1: a little bit about that, like leaving spending some time
Speaker 1: with him and then getting engaged, and then I also
Speaker 1: had a quick question um that I'm completely blanking on,
Speaker 1: so just go with yours on that. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it was it was nice to be able
Speaker 1: to see each other outside of you know, Mexico, but
Speaker 1: it was also like we were both kind of still
Speaker 1: in weird places in our in our lives. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: I was still kind of trying to figure out where
Speaker 1: I wanted my life to go post my season um,
Speaker 1: and he was still kind of in like a weird
Speaker 1: um what's the word I'm looking for, like limbo. He
Speaker 1: was in a weird limbo state as well. Like we're
Speaker 1: both kind of in limbo states in our lives, which
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people coming off the show are, yes,
Speaker 1: in what way just like transitioning what locations are just
Speaker 1: like headspace locations jobs, you know, just not really kind
Speaker 1: of knowing what you're going to do and just like
Speaker 1: kind of staying open to whatever comes up or trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what you want to pursue. Um. And
Speaker 1: so you know, we're both kind of in weird phases
Speaker 1: like that, and so we would like take trips and
Speaker 1: you know, we were like long distance. Um, but you know,
Speaker 1: then you're kind of like trying to see if you
Speaker 1: can make things work. And then it's kind of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're really trying, really trying. Well. Wasn't there a couple
Speaker 1: of moments where you guys planned on moving to New
Speaker 1: York together? I'm like, I remember seeing something like that,
Speaker 1: but I could be mistaken. Yeah. Yeah, So he um
Speaker 1: accepted a job in Connecticut and um yeah, and UM
Speaker 1: we discussed, like you know, the potential of me moving there,
Speaker 1: and um, it it didn't happen. I mean I spent
Speaker 1: about like two weeks of every month out there, so
Speaker 1: like I did a lot of the traveling back and forth, um,
Speaker 1: because he was getting situated in this new job and
Speaker 1: um where the Seattle. Yeah, and my family so like
Speaker 1: the three days after the reunion films, my step dad
Speaker 1: went into cardiac arrest and likest like died and so
Speaker 1: came back and all this stuff was so my family
Speaker 1: was going to like a really weird period of time
Speaker 1: as well. Um, and he had to have like a
Speaker 1: whole career change. He was a pilot for like twenty
Speaker 1: plus years and UM, so I really wanted to spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time in Seattle with my family to
Speaker 1: make sure that like they weren't a good place. My
Speaker 1: mom's like traumatized by this, and she watched her husband
Speaker 1: die in front of her basically and then come back
Speaker 1: to side with a roller coaster. Um. And then like
Speaker 1: my cat Theo was super sick and so I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to be here for him. So
Speaker 1: they were just like a lot of other things going on,
Speaker 1: and our relationship was still you know, we were really
Speaker 1: like working to try to make it work and see,
Speaker 1: you know, if this is like something that we're both
Speaker 1: mutually like really wanting to move forward with, and that's
Speaker 1: going to bring a lot of like positivity and connection
Speaker 1: in our lives. And there were a lot of things
Speaker 1: that like we were different on and in different places
Speaker 1: in our lives. And um, you know, he he was too.
Speaker 1: He has like such a hard work ethic and he
Speaker 1: works so hard and something I really admired about him. Um,
Speaker 1: but it does make it a little bit more difficult
Speaker 1: in terms of like balancing your relationships in your life.
Speaker 1: And um, so it's like, you know, I would go
Speaker 1: to Connecticut and would talk to Vanessa a lot, um
Speaker 1: and just you know, it's like a little lonely and
Speaker 1: it's a little different. Was it mostly you traveling out east?
Speaker 1: And I feel like he didn't really come out west often? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it was it was always me coming um to
Speaker 1: visit there. How many times did you, like once a month,
Speaker 1: two weeks out of the month. She said, yeah, about
Speaker 1: two two and a half weeks out of each month
Speaker 1: I would be there. So I was living out a
Speaker 1: suitcase for a long time. UM, that state of limbo
Speaker 1: just kind of like had can infatuating. Is that your
Speaker 1: first long distance relationship? No, so I was in the
Speaker 1: longest sit relationship. UM a few months prior to the show.
Speaker 1: I think the show had started in August nine. Got
Speaker 1: out of that relationship like that December. UM, and we
Speaker 1: had started dating in Baltimore and then I moved to
Speaker 1: Seattle and we were long distance for like four months.
Speaker 1: So I've done it before, but it was like back
Speaker 1: and forth. I have a question that's kind of off topic,
Speaker 1: but on topic, So speaking of since you know you
Speaker 1: were doing long distance, I did long distance with Nick,
Speaker 1: and then I decided to move out to l A
Speaker 1: because that's where he was at and he was reporting
Speaker 1: gasing and all that stuff. So so, um, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not I love long distance relationships, but I'm not someone
Speaker 1: who's a post to long distance relationships. After how long?
Speaker 1: After how long do you think is an appropriate amount
Speaker 1: of time to decide who moved where and who should
Speaker 1: move where? Like, how do you make that decision? Is
Speaker 1: that some three months of dating that you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: we have to take this relationship with stuff further on
Speaker 1: the side, you know, a permittent spot where we can
Speaker 1: actually build a solid foundation? Is it sis months? But
Speaker 1: after a year? I think it's like about six months
Speaker 1: is the cut off line? See, I don't feel like
Speaker 1: you can put any kind of time limit on it
Speaker 1: because I think it really depends upon what the connection
Speaker 1: is and what the you know, I'm very black and white.
Speaker 1: I know we're working on having like getting comfortable with
Speaker 1: this gray area and not necessarily knowing everything that's going
Speaker 1: to happen. It happens in the gray area, it does.
Speaker 1: That's where that's where all the magic happens to Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't. I think it's really depend Like
Speaker 1: I think there needs to be a lot of communication
Speaker 1: about it, um, because you want to make sure that
Speaker 1: you guys are built on the same page. Well, and
Speaker 1: it needs to be progress being made towards that too.
Speaker 1: It's like, I mean, long distance relationships. Some people can
Speaker 1: do them, some people definitely can't. I would say majority
Speaker 1: can't do them. So it's like if you don't, you're
Speaker 1: not you don't like them, right, I'm very anti long distance.
Speaker 1: I'm anti long distance. But like I hate to say it,
Speaker 1: but it's like if you I mean, you're in a
Speaker 1: relationship with Derek for almost a year, like nine months,
Speaker 1: ten months, whatever it is, um, and there was never
Speaker 1: the moment, well there was there was maybe conversations that
Speaker 1: you guys are gonna live together and all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, but um, I don't know, like what like
Speaker 1: that just it's such a straining on the relationship, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And for me, I mean honestly, I didn't feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, okay, we needed to move towards moving in
Speaker 1: with each other. I know. That's more so where he
Speaker 1: was at, like he really wanted me to be there. Um.
Speaker 1: It was again, like I said, he was working all
Speaker 1: the time and so like his community was really just work. Um,
Speaker 1: And you know, I think it's like a little lonely
Speaker 1: out there, um, And so it meant a lot to
Speaker 1: him when I was out there visiting, But to me,
Speaker 1: it wasn't like we need to move in with each other.
Speaker 1: You know, for me, it would have made a big difference,
Speaker 1: like if he had came, if there had been more
Speaker 1: of back and forth, like if he had seen more
Speaker 1: of me in in Seattle and in my home and
Speaker 1: in my community, which like he got to see a
Speaker 1: little bit post show, but it's you know, all that
Speaker 1: stuff was happening with my family, with my cat, and
Speaker 1: like it's again post show, you're kind of trying to
Speaker 1: like decom pressed and like get back into like what
Speaker 1: your life is going to be and how it's gonna
Speaker 1: be in Like for me, that's like, Okay, you're getting
Speaker 1: to know me again and you care about like who
Speaker 1: I am and what's important to me. Right, that makes sense? Well, so,
Speaker 1: I mean, I obviously I know it's not the easiest
Speaker 1: thing to talk about in the world. And I've definitely
Speaker 1: like we've all had to go through these moments where
Speaker 1: it's like you kind of talk about these breakups. Um,
Speaker 1: was there like maybe a moment that you guys were
Speaker 1: together where you were like Okay, wait, maybe something's misfiring
Speaker 1: here and it doesn't necessarily feel like it should be
Speaker 1: working as easy as it should. Is it something that
Speaker 1: you are willing to talk about, because there's always like
Speaker 1: it's always hard to define it as one moment like
Speaker 1: this is the moment where things started to go awry
Speaker 1: a little bit. But is there a point? Thank you? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the fresh off of Taylor and I'll
Speaker 1: put it on to me right now. I feel great, friend,
Speaker 1: I remember right. So I'm very candid about you know,
Speaker 1: Nick and I have been gone through a couple of therapy,
Speaker 1: and I think it's something most couple should do. Um,
Speaker 1: I only started this individuals one. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: saying I don't starting therapy once I was on the
Speaker 1: Bachelor and I realized just how creatives express. I'm not
Speaker 1: all right. I don't like writing things down, so I
Speaker 1: like talking about it. But every now and then, when
Speaker 1: you talk to your the same sister, the same front,
Speaker 1: you know, you get you're getting the same piece of advice.
Speaker 1: But it was just so nice to hear from a
Speaker 1: third party. Um. And then we did a couple of
Speaker 1: therapy and remember that they're asking us what was go
Speaker 1: back in time, and I want you guys to think
Speaker 1: about this too. Maybe practices just like your significant other. Um,
Speaker 1: go back and think of when was the last time
Speaker 1: you truly stuff connected to your partner? Think about it
Speaker 1: and let me know. So I'm like, all right, so
Speaker 1: I thought about it. I'm like, I got it. The
Speaker 1: last time I felt was blah blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: Nick didn't remember that moment in time where I felt
Speaker 1: so in love with him. So and he mentioned once
Speaker 1: one part in our relationship where he's like, this is
Speaker 1: where I felt the most connected to you. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't remember that part. And it made me so
Speaker 1: that and that's when we realized we don't value the
Speaker 1: same sort of Um, I can't put my works at
Speaker 1: a moment. Well, that you guys weren't actually connecting with
Speaker 1: each other. We were connecting what we were. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: were connecting with maybe like the I t of like,
Speaker 1: I'm not even the idea that's not even true because
Speaker 1: I was in love with him and I did love
Speaker 1: him and I still care about him, you know, but
Speaker 1: I it was we didn't share the same type of connection.
Speaker 1: Well you're yeah, if you're not gonna value just holding
Speaker 1: my hand in the street. Well, it's interest. That wasn't
Speaker 1: my example, but I think that's. Um. That's when I
Speaker 1: started realizing it's interesting, Like you said, Vanessa that you
Speaker 1: were in love with Nick and he was in love
Speaker 1: with you. You guys developed feelings on the show. Everybody does.
Speaker 1: And then I remember a couple one said this when
Speaker 1: they got off the show. Yes, we're in love with
Speaker 1: each other, but honestly, it felt like that's when we
Speaker 1: started dating, which is so crazy. Do you agree with that? Taylor,
Speaker 1: Like you went on the show, you got engaged, Derek,
Speaker 1: did it feel like after you guys left, was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're in love each other, but now it feels like
Speaker 1: we just started dating. Yes, is that? But no, like
Speaker 1: a lot of bachelor couples say that. I think even
Speaker 1: Sean and Katherine said that at one time, where Sean
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I love with Katherine, but it feels
Speaker 1: like just like now the relationship starts. Even I mean
Speaker 1: even throughout our whole relationship, it's still kind of felt
Speaker 1: like we were waiting to reach that point of like, okay,
Speaker 1: can we start dating, because it still didn't even really
Speaker 1: feel like we were dating, and that was one thing.
Speaker 1: I mean I went back, um not to basically during
Speaker 1: the breakup or right after it was announced. Um, I
Speaker 1: had gone back and rewatched this interview that we did
Speaker 1: um together with and he was like Access Hollywood or
Speaker 1: something it was, and she was asking all these questions
Speaker 1: about like still like I guys gonna move in with
Speaker 1: each other, like what you guys can do? And we
Speaker 1: were so on different pages, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like I wanna go really slow and like
Speaker 1: I want to have my place and I want my
Speaker 1: man to have his place, and I want to go
Speaker 1: over to my man's place, you know, and like have
Speaker 1: those weekends and like keep the romance alive, developed the
Speaker 1: romance even and like just date each other and even
Speaker 1: doing long distance basically right off the bat, like we
Speaker 1: didn't really actually have that opportunity to like do that
Speaker 1: kind of dating. And so you can call him and
Speaker 1: be like, hey, why don't you come over tonight and
Speaker 1: we'll watch a movie. It's like he's you know, two
Speaker 1: thousand miles away, a little bit more movie, yes, in
Speaker 1: New York. I guess it's a little bit more than two. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I've always found that very interesting because a lot
Speaker 1: of people, you know, they criticized the show a little bit.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, the feeling is very real. But you know,
Speaker 1: when you get off the show, that's when the dating
Speaker 1: really starts. And I always feel grateful for the fact
Speaker 1: that Ashley and I kind of went through that a
Speaker 1: little bit before we ended up together, because we did
Speaker 1: have that opportunity to just like hang out and go
Speaker 1: over each other's houses and and create a friendship and
Speaker 1: then turn it into a relationship. And um, um, so
Speaker 1: it's it's it's very interesting. Um. But you know, Taylor,
Speaker 1: you're you're a wonderful champ for coming in and talking
Speaker 1: and opening yourself up about everything. It's not easy. You know,
Speaker 1: we've all been there. We've had to talk about tough
Speaker 1: times and we're not talking about this, are we? No,
Speaker 1: not at all. But I figured that transition a little
Speaker 1: bit maybe a little bit easier conversation having to talk
Speaker 1: about it. You know. I also wanted that I think
Speaker 1: it's important and I said this, I keep saying this,
Speaker 1: It's important to no matter what, no matter how or
Speaker 1: what your relationship when you know, no matter what you
Speaker 1: went through in your relationship, good that ugly said, Um,
Speaker 1: I think it's important to always talk highly of the
Speaker 1: person that you were once with and not hope not
Speaker 1: even just talk highly, but hopefully like actually feel that,
Speaker 1: like you have to be able to see that in
Speaker 1: your partner. It's easy to it's it's easy to just
Speaker 1: sometimes be so angry and upset and be in that
Speaker 1: dark space and you just want to like, you know,
Speaker 1: throw that person umber. But or because something that you're
Speaker 1: feel like agent to you or something that you interpret
Speaker 1: it or whatever it is. And I think it's important
Speaker 1: that to uh, like you said, like to just believe it,
Speaker 1: but also to say it out out. Um, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then there's a great job at that, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's something like we talked about a little bit on
Speaker 1: on the episode of my pod that you came on, um,
Speaker 1: talking about breakup, where like throughout my breakup, especially you know,
Speaker 1: leading up to when we were going to publicly announced
Speaker 1: and even when privately it was happening, and just trying
Speaker 1: to like really focus on the positive of our relationship
Speaker 1: and the positives of who he is and like the
Speaker 1: things that I really admired about him and the things
Speaker 1: that you know, we shared together that we enjoyed and
Speaker 1: and it's weird talking about, you know, like the actual
Speaker 1: dating aspect of it, because even there were like there's
Speaker 1: different layers the relationship that you developed, Like on Paradise,
Speaker 1: relationship was very different, and like the feelings that I
Speaker 1: had for him on Paradise were very different than the
Speaker 1: feelings I had for him in real life, and like
Speaker 1: parts of me didn't really feel this strong sense of
Speaker 1: like being in love with him until way after that,
Speaker 1: to way after even the proposal. Even so like for me,
Speaker 1: it's like looking back at all these different stages of
Speaker 1: our relationship and like really trying to remember all of
Speaker 1: those positive things, because it's like you can get so
Speaker 1: wrapped up in in the negative and why this isn't
Speaker 1: working out and how your heart hurts, and so you
Speaker 1: want to make sense of why this is a good
Speaker 1: decision for you, so you focus on the negative, but like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: this is why, like yeah, this is why this isn't
Speaker 1: a good idea. But it's like, you know, like that's
Speaker 1: someone you shared a lot of things with, and you know,
Speaker 1: you shared your heart with, you shared your soul, and
Speaker 1: you shared your family and your life, and you know,
Speaker 1: I think it's important to like continue to try to
Speaker 1: nurture that. So so when you guys broke up, you
Speaker 1: said you broke up privately obviously, and then the public
Speaker 1: kind of announcement happened. M tough question here, who initiated
Speaker 1: that first conversation of you guys separating privately, of a
Speaker 1: separating private like when you like, who initiated the first
Speaker 1: conversation is like, hey, maybe we should consider breaking up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it was both. However, he was more.
Speaker 1: There were two trips that I had taken out to
Speaker 1: see him in Connecticut, and um, he more took the
Speaker 1: initiative of saying, like, you know, I don't think this
Speaker 1: is right anymore. And I was on the same page,
Speaker 1: but I was too scared and I didn't want to
Speaker 1: let it go. And I'm someone that like really tries
Speaker 1: and wants to, you know, well, let's try this, let's
Speaker 1: try this, let's do this, because I tried to see
Speaker 1: where like, no, it could work, like if maybe we
Speaker 1: just tried these things. I bet it was almost a
Speaker 1: sense of relief when you heard that the third time.
Speaker 1: The third time, so after that second time that I
Speaker 1: was talking about, um, well, I left and we were
Speaker 1: basically like taking space. We're basically on a break kind
Speaker 1: of thing. Um. And then I went back and in
Speaker 1: that trip it got brought up again and I didn't
Speaker 1: fight it, and I was just like let it flow,
Speaker 1: like this is where it's going, Like this is where
Speaker 1: you've wanted it to go. You're just like I don't
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen afterwards, and that part's like
Speaker 1: really scary. So I was just like be present, let
Speaker 1: be this is where it's going to go, and like
Speaker 1: went with it. And then afterwards it was such this
Speaker 1: sense of of relief and like a weird sense of
Speaker 1: like freedom almost, and you know, it was very connecting
Speaker 1: for us, even like I think we connected in a
Speaker 1: very strong way um before I left that trip, because
Speaker 1: it's we did take a second like to look back
Speaker 1: at at our relationship and like where the positives were
Speaker 1: and where we did connect, and so there were I
Speaker 1: think some blurred lines there, but it it was for
Speaker 1: me like a very good sense of like closure of
Speaker 1: like this isn't right and we wish that it could
Speaker 1: have been different, but like I always have love for now.
Speaker 1: Of course, No, I think that's don't you think it's
Speaker 1: kind of silly to how there's so much outside pressure
Speaker 1: to like you almost like feel like you're letting other
Speaker 1: people down. It is there's so many layers to the breakup,
Speaker 1: and that's where like, this has been such a different
Speaker 1: breakup than any breakup my entire life. And that's what
Speaker 1: people can understand is there is an outside influence and
Speaker 1: you try not to let it affect your relationship, either
Speaker 1: positively or negatively, but the fact of the matter, it does. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's this whole other part of your identity that like
Speaker 1: impacts your day to day life. And a lot of
Speaker 1: people will say, well, that's what you signed up for,
Speaker 1: and it's like, yes, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: did I think I was going to get on the show?
Speaker 1: Of course I didn't. And also, just because that's what
Speaker 1: you signed up for, it doesn't mean that it can't
Speaker 1: also be difficult to experience exactly exactly. And I think
Speaker 1: it's also people get to have a perception of who
Speaker 1: you are based of how proceed on the show, um,
Speaker 1: and so they have this idea of you, and if
Speaker 1: they like you, then they'll support you through the through
Speaker 1: the relationships and through the breakup. If they don't like you,
Speaker 1: then you'll get the back blast and you'll get the
Speaker 1: one you'll be the ones whole blame for the relationship
Speaker 1: that's not working out. You know, it's like it's never
Speaker 1: I was asked this when I did the interview for
Speaker 1: a second and Garrett got engage and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: said this in the last and everyone was at the
Speaker 1: a f R that if utal in industry to door a,
Speaker 1: you'll pick people off with you and not only this industry,
Speaker 1: in this life. You know, always have an opinion and
Speaker 1: so to the past. That will make you the happiest
Speaker 1: no matter what people are going to do with you. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I agree. You have to do it's best for you,
Speaker 1: um and try to block out all the nights because
Speaker 1: if you listen to everybody's opinion, you're just going to
Speaker 1: tear yourself apart and make matters worse for yourself. Um. So,
Speaker 1: Taylor obviously going through a breakup. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: Pele listeners like we talked about that are going through breakups,
Speaker 1: and we talked a little bit of advice that you
Speaker 1: can give them. But if you could say one thing,
Speaker 1: um to anybody going through a breakup right now, that's
Speaker 1: dealing with heartache or confusion. Um. One piece of advice
Speaker 1: that you've really taken from your experience throughout this, what
Speaker 1: would it be. It's okay to not be okay and
Speaker 1: let yourself be not okay. I feel like I always say,
Speaker 1: like feel all the feelings. Like it's easy to distract
Speaker 1: yourself and you know, jump from one thing to the
Speaker 1: next door to just be a busy bee and distract
Speaker 1: yourself from feeling those painful feelings. Um. But my biggest
Speaker 1: piece of advice going through a breakup, you gotta be
Speaker 1: in it. It's uncomfortable, but like let yourself feel that
Speaker 1: heartache and you'll move through it. Like you don't have
Speaker 1: to project this highlight reel onto social media that you're
Speaker 1: you know doing totally find an awesome and not faded
Speaker 1: by life at all. Um, you know it's okay to
Speaker 1: like show that vulnerable side of you and you know
Speaker 1: say that like, yeah, I am struggling right now because
Speaker 1: this hurts. Yeah. It's so funny that you mentioned social
Speaker 1: media because there's literally a book right in front of
Speaker 1: Dean myself that says how to be as happy as
Speaker 1: you look on social media. Co Um. So Taylor. Tell
Speaker 1: us what you're up to right now? Where you still
Speaker 1: in Seattle? Yeah, so I'm still in Seattle. Seahawks fan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm and Diard Patriots fan. I wouldn't have guessed. I
Speaker 1: know obviously from doing on. I love the Seahawks, though
Speaker 1: I've always loved Russell Wilson. I know your defense falling
Speaker 1: apart a little bit, but we don't have talk about
Speaker 1: that right now. Um, so tell us about what else
Speaker 1: you're up to. You have your podcast, what's going on
Speaker 1: with that? Yeah? So have the podcast recording with some
Speaker 1: people here in Elin now. Um. I was telling Dean
Speaker 1: on the way here that in Seattle, I have my
Speaker 1: first apartment. That's just my apartment, like no roommates, no,
Speaker 1: like boyfriend. Um, that's just me and well and all
Speaker 1: my plants. And it's really great and it feels like
Speaker 1: really good to be back in touch, especially after everything
Speaker 1: with the show. You know, there's this whole like limbo
Speaker 1: state and honestly, am I allowed to swear on here? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The show really you up, Like it really picked me up,
Speaker 1: and I got real disconnected from like who I was
Speaker 1: and it I was. I was shook after that first experience.
Speaker 1: So it feels so nice to like just feel like
Speaker 1: Taylor again and you feel like some normalcy to your life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels really good. Do you and Derek still have
Speaker 1: any line of communication at all? Do you guys talk?
Speaker 1: I know you, Hey, you keep staring daggers at me
Speaker 1: a rey single time. That's question. Dar wants talk about football.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about your last We got to
Speaker 1: ask our questions. Is Russell Wiston better than every wronger stuff? Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's uh exclusive to text, and that's very short.
Speaker 1: I still have stuff um in Connecticut that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get back. Um. So yeah, there's but you're friendly,
Speaker 1: all right, never mind, I try to be friendly. Um.
Speaker 1: And then there's also times where like I feel like no,
Speaker 1: I have to like assert myself and be like no,
Speaker 1: that's not like I think it was. For instance, I
Speaker 1: think every couple goes through for instance, like what I
Speaker 1: just I think this is the hardest thing actually is
Speaker 1: that everyone handles breakups differently. And like I'm someone that
Speaker 1: that wants to still, um depart connected and a lot
Speaker 1: of people need that like disconnect like that just cold,
Speaker 1: They're not cold, the clean cut, clean cut cold cuts
Speaker 1: to a fantastic people. Yeah. I don't block people, but
Speaker 1: I I advocate if you need to. Yeah, and like
Speaker 1: I understand people, like know your boundaries and like for me,
Speaker 1: I still feel like most of my exes, I'm close
Speaker 1: with one of them. I just spoke to uh two
Speaker 1: days ago, and you know, he was like the longest
Speaker 1: relationship I ever had and we lived together. And was it, Nick,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, Come on, that was a joke. We're all
Speaker 1: friends in here, we go there it is. I was
Speaker 1: waiting for it. Well, no, so I mean it. It's
Speaker 1: just you know, I still want to feel connected and
Speaker 1: want to leave it at least on a friendly you know,
Speaker 1: Like I talked to his mom and his sister and
Speaker 1: I'm like close with them and I think they're wonderful people. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't think he he prefers to not
Speaker 1: speak at all. He he definitely prefers to have no contact.
Speaker 1: Um and and I respect that aside from like I
Speaker 1: just want to my stuff. Of course, logistical things are
Speaker 1: it can be difficult to figure out when you don't
Speaker 1: right before before we move on, Before we move on
Speaker 1: to the final segment, which is emails. One final question
Speaker 1: for you, but everyone's dying to know. Will we ever
Speaker 1: see you on Paradise again? I doubt it, Okay, I
Speaker 1: doubt it. I highly doubt it. You never know where
Speaker 1: you're gonna be any year from now. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't ever want to like close
Speaker 1: myself off. I put myself like in a box. You know.
Speaker 1: It's definitely an interesting experience. Um. And if the time
Speaker 1: is right in my life, then maybe it's something I'd
Speaker 1: be open to. But you know, if it was like tomorrow,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, six or seven months, I'd be shocked.
Speaker 1: If you're not getting a phone call from somebody and
Speaker 1: I drive over here. Is funny enough because Taylor and
Speaker 1: I were just talking discussing our time on Paradise actually
Speaker 1: like the early days of it as well, and how
Speaker 1: we both kind of like sat down and we were
Speaker 1: like talking to each other near the pool or whatever, um,
Speaker 1: and how I was like giving her advice on her
Speaker 1: relationship with Derek, and she was giving me advice on
Speaker 1: my relationship with Christina, And it's just funny like look
Speaker 1: back on that moment and be like, like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: we didn't really know what the heck, we were talking
Speaker 1: about But if you go back to Paradise the second time,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if anyone this room cann't
Speaker 1: test to go into Paradise twice, but I'm sure you
Speaker 1: go in with like maybe a newer like amount of
Speaker 1: knowledge going into it. Yeah, you want to Paradise, of
Speaker 1: course you go into It's probably very similar to your
Speaker 1: experience going to when you're as where you're just a
Speaker 1: little bit more aware. You know, you kind of know
Speaker 1: where you're going in for you know where you're walking
Speaker 1: into the first time you go to Paradise, it's just like,
Speaker 1: you know, unicorns and rainbows. You're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's like Christmas morning. And then I think when you
Speaker 1: go back for a second time, maybe specifically to Paradise,
Speaker 1: you're just a little bit more aware of your surroundings.
Speaker 1: So that would be the only difference. Really. Let's be
Speaker 1: on emails. Let's do emails cool. Who wants to America? Mark?
Speaker 1: I mean, we love you, obviously, but Mark Mark was
Speaker 1: placed on this earth to read emails podcast. Uh he
Speaker 1: decided not to be placed on this earth for that reason.
Speaker 1: I don't know. You can get a very upset text
Speaker 1: vacation thing. He's got a great voice. Yeah, I'm chopped audiobooks,
Speaker 1: that's what. Yeah, thanks Vanessa. Well, we all love you,
Speaker 1: I know, I mean, Okay, anyway, this first email is
Speaker 1: actually really interesting, so I'm excited about it. It's from
Speaker 1: an anonymous sender. Always the best anonymous emails us every week.
Speaker 1: This poor person, I know. Uh there's they said us
Speaker 1: another one later. But dear Dean, Jared and Vanessa and Taylor.
Speaker 1: I'm just an average twenty three year old guy from
Speaker 1: Texas with some not so average dating issues. I recently
Speaker 1: started talking to this girl. She's pretty. She gets along
Speaker 1: with all my friends. It's great. I'm picky with relationships,
Speaker 1: but she checks just about everything off the list. We've
Speaker 1: been talking for a month and see each other quite often.
Speaker 1: I'm planning on making things official. But there's something I've
Speaker 1: been tiptoeing around and haven't told her yet. About two
Speaker 1: years ago, I was talking to a guy who I
Speaker 1: met at the gym. We fooled around a couple of
Speaker 1: times and would hang out on occasion, just to test
Speaker 1: the waters and see how it goes. This only lasted
Speaker 1: two months or so, and I didn't share it with anyone.
Speaker 1: I decided to end things, But I've run into him
Speaker 1: at the gym every once in a blue moon throughout
Speaker 1: the years. We'll talk for maybe five minutes and go
Speaker 1: our separate ways. My question is, should I even tell
Speaker 1: her about this guy? If so, how is this something
Speaker 1: I should have shared from early on? Help? I don't
Speaker 1: want to screw this one up. She's perfect, man. That is.
Speaker 1: There's um like a lot of I think, like shaming
Speaker 1: going on internally with like the fact that he feels
Speaker 1: like this is something that he has to inform her of,
Speaker 1: as if it's like this baggage, that it's this like
Speaker 1: big red flag for him, like it's okay. Society kind
Speaker 1: has to make it feel that way, which is certainly
Speaker 1: a bummer. I don't think it's really something that he
Speaker 1: should share unless it specifically gets brought up in some
Speaker 1: sort of way. Yeah, if it naturally flows with the
Speaker 1: conversation and you can be like, yeah, this this was
Speaker 1: my experience, and this was you know what I like,
Speaker 1: this is what I didn't like, this is what I learned. Um,
Speaker 1: then absolutely you should feel feel you know, empowered and
Speaker 1: confident to share that as you would with if it
Speaker 1: were a woman that you had had an experience with totally.
Speaker 1: I also think they've only been talking for a month
Speaker 1: and there not even official yet, So is it really
Speaker 1: something that needs to be brought up at this moment?
Speaker 1: It seems kind of premature. He's almost like suggesting it
Speaker 1: as like this might be a deal breaker for her,
Speaker 1: so let me let her know ahead of time, But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's a deal breaker. Then he should have
Speaker 1: been with her, you know. I think the only question
Speaker 1: I would have accept him for who he is? Yeah,
Speaker 1: is he is he? Is he bisexual? I think that
Speaker 1: would be a conversation does he still think about guy?
Speaker 1: Is he like which is actually attracted to guys? Or
Speaker 1: was there one thing? Because that should be a conversation
Speaker 1: you have with your signey thinking O, they're obviously, but
Speaker 1: that's something. It sounds like he hasn't talked to anyone
Speaker 1: about this, So I would say, do some like internal
Speaker 1: reflecting on some of that and talk to someone before
Speaker 1: you talk to her about it, Like find someone else,
Speaker 1: a friend, a family member, whoever, who you trust and
Speaker 1: who you feel comfortable with, and like share in process
Speaker 1: this experience with them and get get a little comfortable
Speaker 1: talking about it exactly. Figure it out on your own
Speaker 1: before you bring it up with somebody else. Yeah, good advice.
Speaker 1: You have very good advice. We should holp you here
Speaker 1: all the time. Yes. Usually it's like all of us, Okay,
Speaker 1: do we feel ready for the next one? Then great.
Speaker 1: This one is titled do I Tell Him? I've been
Speaker 1: in love with him? And it's from Emma, Hi, Danjured,
Speaker 1: and Vanessa and Taylor. I'm twenty one years old and
Speaker 1: have an issue. I basically grew up with this guy.
Speaker 1: We briefly dated in middle school in early high school.
Speaker 1: He's a year older than me. We were very close,
Speaker 1: and I'd consider him my first love, even though we
Speaker 1: were never super serious because of our age at the time.
Speaker 1: He's now graduated and I'm heading into my senior year
Speaker 1: of college. But while he was in college, he got
Speaker 1: a new girlfriend who's my age and they've been dating
Speaker 1: for over a year. I'm happy for him and they
Speaker 1: seem to be serious. But every now and then we're
Speaker 1: in contact in subtle ways, snapchat's happy Birthday, text, commenting
Speaker 1: on relatable stuff, etcetera. I know in my heart I
Speaker 1: will always love him and could even see a future
Speaker 1: with him. I really think he should know this, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a home wrecker and step
Speaker 1: on toes in their relationship. Oh god, I mean this
Speaker 1: one is obviously a tough one. I think listen, Emma,
Speaker 1: if you have feelings for this guy that's in a
Speaker 1: relationship and a very serious one, then you should not
Speaker 1: talk to him because he probably doesn't feel the same
Speaker 1: way back and he thinks that he's just staying friend
Speaker 1: with you. If is he sending mixed signals or is
Speaker 1: he leading her on which one? I think neither. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's doing If it's literally like happy birthday
Speaker 1: text and like commenting on relatable stuff, that's kind of
Speaker 1: it's not the best, but it's really not anything red
Speaker 1: flag either. This is this is coming back to my
Speaker 1: first comments. She has an idea of him and what
Speaker 1: receptive being is and the sciences leaves as, oh my god,
Speaker 1: did think that you know the science ares and not
Speaker 1: satistic to leave and he's probably just like yeah, we
Speaker 1: mean more just front presses cresses like I think she
Speaker 1: also it sounds like, Emma, you have a little bit
Speaker 1: of like a story built up about your guys relationship,
Speaker 1: and that maybe it's more of the story that you're
Speaker 1: in love with of you know, he's gonna be in
Speaker 1: the in this relationship and we've dated through middle school
Speaker 1: and all this stuff, and you know that then eventually
Speaker 1: it's going to be the two of you. And he
Speaker 1: could feel similarly, but he needs to like work it
Speaker 1: out throughout his life and come to that on his
Speaker 1: own as well. And if he's in the relationship that
Speaker 1: he's in now, and if you really, you know, truly
Speaker 1: have love for him, then give him the freedom in
Speaker 1: the space to experience that. And I think, um, there
Speaker 1: was another point that I wanted to say. It sounds
Speaker 1: like my best friend's wedding. That's exactly what it sounds
Speaker 1: like to me, Like she's being the friend that she's
Speaker 1: actually in love with this guy when he's dating someone else,
Speaker 1: and she just withholds it for her entire life while
Speaker 1: still being like the friend and staying there. Um. I mean,
Speaker 1: at some point it's got to go on one of
Speaker 1: two directions. Yeah, I was. My other thought was like,
Speaker 1: why think about why you would want to tell him?
Speaker 1: And it's my guests because from similar situations with friends
Speaker 1: that I've experienced that like, you're you're almost kind of
Speaker 1: searching for the sense of validation that he also feels
Speaker 1: the same way and like yearning for that connection. And
Speaker 1: so I would like ask yourself, like, well, why would
Speaker 1: I tell him? Like it would bring more Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: like if he's already in this place, like let him
Speaker 1: be in that place, and if if it's if it's
Speaker 1: supposed to work out, you know, then hopefully it will
Speaker 1: one day. But also, to use some buzzwords that we've
Speaker 1: used on this podcast before, it sounds like, if she
Speaker 1: really has these feelings for him, it could almost be
Speaker 1: beneficial to put them out of the table and then
Speaker 1: that way you can be like, look, I have I
Speaker 1: feel this way for you, and because of that, I
Speaker 1: can't receive snapchats from you anymore. I can't get birthday
Speaker 1: wishes from you anymore, like bread coming, benching, whatever the
Speaker 1: heck it is. So I think that there's I think
Speaker 1: it would be important and beneficial maybe to put it
Speaker 1: out there and just kind of severtize if that's what
Speaker 1: it would I was just gonna say, I think there's
Speaker 1: a way you could go about it. And I think
Speaker 1: just coming out and being like, hey, I'm in love
Speaker 1: with you, um wouldn't be the best. But I think
Speaker 1: if you like started a conversation of like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm I was just curious and like thinking back
Speaker 1: to you know, back to middle school or back to
Speaker 1: high school, whatever, and you know, I'm really happy for
Speaker 1: you that you're in the relationship, and I'm just curious,
Speaker 1: like if you've ever had feelings for me in the
Speaker 1: you know, recent past, Like if you've ever thought about that,
Speaker 1: Like he's gonna say, yeah, guaranteed. I just can't help
Speaker 1: but think of also the girlfriend in this situation, and
Speaker 1: how unfair would have her where I think it might
Speaker 1: be best just to sever tise with him, and like
Speaker 1: if it comes to a point where you don't talk
Speaker 1: to him for six months and he's just losing his
Speaker 1: mind because he can't live without you, that's obviously a
Speaker 1: big sign. But if you severtise, you guys never talk again,
Speaker 1: then obviously wasn't meant to be so. Or what if
Speaker 1: she what if she breaks them up? They get together
Speaker 1: and then they break up. That would be the worst.
Speaker 1: That's the worst case that everyone everyone loses. Thank you
Speaker 1: for filling the air with activity, But I will get
Speaker 1: some clarity and be like, Okay, I guess it wasn't
Speaker 1: my person. I don't know. I'm what kind of wins
Speaker 1: in that situation? A little bit, A little bit. Everybody wins.
Speaker 1: Emma wins in that situation she because then she has
Speaker 1: peace of mind and clarity of mind, knowing like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we tried, it didn't work out. Sorry about that worked
Speaker 1: out for everybody? Um, yeah, I know it's tough. I
Speaker 1: think just severtise. I don't think you need to be
Speaker 1: with anyone you dated in middle school personally. I mean sometimes, okay,
Speaker 1: experience middle schools. It's part of this story, and I
Speaker 1: think we like romanticize that a little bit. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we all want to be them, but exactly. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I keep saying this in every light. Every time we
Speaker 1: get an email from a younger listener, I'm like, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: when I remember when we had my middle school girlfriend
Speaker 1: on the podcast as a guest, Carmel. She was my
Speaker 1: high school girlfriend. I did a girl named Carmel. It
Speaker 1: wasn't that weird, No, it is weird. I don't think
Speaker 1: I've ever met anyone with her. Her sister's name was River.
Speaker 1: They were an interesting family. But I was gonna say
Speaker 1: we had my middle school girlfriend from fifth and sixth grade, Zoe.
Speaker 1: I would never date her again, not because she's not
Speaker 1: a great girl. You're just different people. We've grown apart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would maybe date my first kiss.
Speaker 1: Oh we need to get this guy on the podcast. No,
Speaker 1: just like he's like a really great guy. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm proud that you were my first kiss. Like I'm
Speaker 1: probably you are, like, I'm I'm glad. It's really sweet.
Speaker 1: Have you re introduced yourself into dating world? Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. I'm sure Vans is an advocate for that,
Speaker 1: Like she says, you know, you need to date to
Speaker 1: be able to move on and get pasting all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. So well, and I think, like for me,
Speaker 1: it's not even like yeah, I just said it five
Speaker 1: minutes ago. You're like, like I always say, just do,
Speaker 1: but no, I think like, for me, I learned a
Speaker 1: lot about myself through other people, through my interactions with people,
Speaker 1: Like when I'm on a date, like I'm reflecting on
Speaker 1: like who this person is, what are they bringing out
Speaker 1: in me? What are they projecting onto me? How am
Speaker 1: I seeing myself through who they see me? As? Like
Speaker 1: I'm doing all of this like internal work while also
Speaker 1: balancing like being present. But you you learned so much,
Speaker 1: like when you're actively engaged in dating, you can learn
Speaker 1: so much about yourself and like and something. And that's
Speaker 1: like a little uncomfortable because you're putting yourself out there
Speaker 1: and being vulnerable, but it's also can be really exciting,
Speaker 1: like to lean into so as long as you're not
Speaker 1: on TV doing it. So you're saying, the best atmosphere
Speaker 1: for you would be Paradise. Well that's the thing. Like
Speaker 1: I was talking Um actually shortly after the announcement demo
Speaker 1: to Mario. Um had sent me just like the sweetest
Speaker 1: voice message and literally had me crying, and he was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, hey, like when you were on the beach,
Speaker 1: like let me tell you, like every guy there like
Speaker 1: was interested in you and like you have you are
Speaker 1: such an amazing, incredible woman like and was just really
Speaker 1: the best like hype man I've ever had. I was
Speaker 1: just so supportive of like go out there, like you
Speaker 1: are so wonderful and you bring so much to the table.
Speaker 1: And so you guys, you guys had a demo and
Speaker 1: Adilo on Paradise last year and a Dino and a
Speaker 1: Dino you know Dil and Demo. That would be a
Speaker 1: great love tri um. So what's next? Whatnother? One more email?
Speaker 1: One more email, also from anonymous, and this is called
Speaker 1: Jared and Ashley situation. So Hi Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and Taylor. I'm coming at you with a situation that's
Speaker 1: similar to Jared and Ashley's, minus the whole TV show
Speaker 1: aspect of course. In high school, I worked with this
Speaker 1: guy for two years and we've always had an awkward
Speaker 1: but good chemistry and have been good friends. Our co
Speaker 1: workers would make comments to us about liking each other,
Speaker 1: and we went on one date. It was good, but
Speaker 1: we both had to go separate ways pretty soon after
Speaker 1: when we started college. I still have feelings for him
Speaker 1: and care about him, but it's never held me back
Speaker 1: from seeing other people. Fast forward to a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago. We had a work party that we both
Speaker 1: attended and we ended up hooking up. We still talk sometimes,
Speaker 1: but I think he may be back with his girlfriend now.
Speaker 1: It's always so natural when we talk, and I feel
Speaker 1: like there's still some potential they're worth pursuing. I really
Speaker 1: care about him and think there's something, but I want
Speaker 1: to know if I'm holding onto something that doesn't even exist.
Speaker 1: What would you guys do in this situation? Help by
Speaker 1: secondating on start dating other people? Yes, I agree. I
Speaker 1: also love to preface this. I don't think I have
Speaker 1: I don't think that's similar to model her mom. It
Speaker 1: was like long time coming. That could make sense. Um,
Speaker 1: so you guys hooked up only a couple of months ago,
Speaker 1: and now it might he might be dating his ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1: She's reading so much into it, and she's just clinging
Speaker 1: onto something that's not agree. It's not even that, this
Speaker 1: isn't even a hard one. You just need you need
Speaker 1: to forget about it. Yeah, I think you got to
Speaker 1: move on from this guy. It's just it was a
Speaker 1: one time thing. It sounds like. See, I'm like, are
Speaker 1: we sure he's back with his girlfriend? I think that
Speaker 1: if the universe is meant to bring them together, it will.
Speaker 1: It did at this work party. Okay, well, if it's
Speaker 1: not to bring them back together, it will. But clearly
Speaker 1: something's not clicking, and because of that, she just needs
Speaker 1: to freaking move on to the next thing. Just because
Speaker 1: it feels raw and real and right doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you're not going to get that feeling and experience with
Speaker 1: someone else tomorrow. I mean, listen that you guys dig
Speaker 1: the universe brought you back together when you guys hooked
Speaker 1: up and Dart stopped giving her false hope. Know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Keep doing what you're saying, keep saying he
Speaker 1: keep going there. Uh, And so I think at this point, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's probably best if you move on and not think
Speaker 1: about this guy, not stalk, you know, because obviously if
Speaker 1: you think he's back with his ex girlfriend, you might
Speaker 1: be looking on his Instagram a little bit, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's it's funny too, in these situations, when we
Speaker 1: know so little about someone that we're interested in, we're
Speaker 1: able to fill in the gaps and like the holes
Speaker 1: of who we think they are and who we want
Speaker 1: them to be, and like all we do is build
Speaker 1: them up and build them up and there, like oh
Speaker 1: this guy is this, this and this, and like the
Speaker 1: more you get to know them, the more they fill
Speaker 1: up themselves and the less interested you become. Totally, just
Speaker 1: move on, Dean. You shouldn't know what the hell pac
Speaker 1: Man interesting? Alright. Anyways, that'll do it for this episode
Speaker 1: of Help I suck at daily. On that note, um,
Speaker 1: big Thank you to Lionel Richie for the stud in
Speaker 1: Las Vegas. Be sure to check them out. All the
Speaker 1: hits Las Vegas residency will be there in October, but
Speaker 1: he has tickets for August and October available. Go check
Speaker 1: him out. We're gonna have to go check him out.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Taylor Nolan for being in studio
Speaker 1: with us today. Yeah, no, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming in opening up. Be sure to check out her podcast,
Speaker 1: Let's talk about It. She's probably gonna have some pretty
Speaker 1: great guests here pretty soon. You know, she's in l A.
Speaker 1: She's got a lot of friends that live here, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna come on, Oh, I'm gonna be on wondering
Speaker 1: where this is going. Be sure to check it out. Um,
Speaker 1: and obviously always thank you to East America and Vanessa
Speaker 1: for calling in. You're in New York right now? Vanessa, right,
Speaker 1: I'm in New York. Yeah, Well, have fun out there.
Speaker 1: We hope to see in studio pretty soon. And um,
Speaker 1: thank you everyone for listening to this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Suck At Dating. Maybe next week we'll suck
Speaker 1: a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating
Speaker 1: with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcast