Speaker 1: Hand Me My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts,
Speaker 1: So Friends and Ken on woop be Goldberg's Internet. This week,
Speaker 1: I was reading and I found something and it reads
Speaker 1: and it's so good. It's so good you might want
Speaker 1: to get a pen and paper and jot this down.
Speaker 1: So go ahead and hit pause so that you can
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 2: It says.
Speaker 1: A gentle reminder, you will never hear another person's voice
Speaker 1: more than you hear your own. Be intentional about the
Speaker 1: way you talk to yourself. That is so good. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read it for you again. And usually I find
Speaker 1: these on threads, and I follow a lot of inspirational,
Speaker 1: motivational meme dealers, okay, because they be shelling it out
Speaker 1: like dope. It says, one more time for your mind,
Speaker 1: just in case you lost it, or you lost me,
Speaker 1: or you didn't get a pen. A gentle reminder. You
Speaker 1: will never hear another person's voice more than you hear
Speaker 1: your own, so be intentional about the way that you
Speaker 1: talk to yourself. Man, listen, this episode is about to
Speaker 1: get real, so buckle up, Buttercup, because we're about to
Speaker 1: go on a ride. I can't see the path that Okay,
Speaker 1: what's up? Y'all welcome to hand me my purse the podcast.
Speaker 1: I am Mimi Walker, and I will be your forever
Speaker 1: host each and every time you tune into this podcast.
Speaker 1: So go ahead and get comfortable. Grab yourself a glass
Speaker 1: of your favorite beverage, whether that's a prickly pair margarita,
Speaker 1: and that I need to let you guys know, is
Speaker 1: absolutely delish if it's made with skill and love or
Speaker 1: some high sea fruit punch, which is the shout out
Speaker 1: to high seafruit punch. You know, I don't drink it
Speaker 1: that often.
Speaker 2: I had it.
Speaker 1: I went to California for my cousin's wedding and me,
Speaker 1: my little brother and my little cousin Lindsey, who was
Speaker 1: a friend of the show. We ordered some wingstop. I'd
Speaker 1: never had wingstops. A little story in between during the greeting,
Speaker 1: and the wingstop was horrible, and my cousin and my brother,
Speaker 1: my little brother Isaiah, swore up and down that no,
Speaker 1: you got to stop another chance, because this is not
Speaker 1: a good representation of what it tastes like.
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna tell you what.
Speaker 1: Was, as the kids say, busting that high seafruit punch.
Speaker 1: I forgot how delicious it is. Don't drink it on
Speaker 1: a regular basis, maybe have it once every other year.
Speaker 1: But it was delicious, I'll tell you that much. It
Speaker 1: was absolutely freaking delicious. Okay, moving forward, grab yourself some
Speaker 1: high seafruit punch or a caramel apple spice from Starbucks.
Speaker 1: You know, it's fall and all of you pumpkin spice
Speaker 1: lovers are talking. I mean, the Internet is flooded with
Speaker 1: pumpkin spice talk. I'm not a pumpkin spice gal at all,
Speaker 1: but I am a caramel apple spice girl from Starbucks.
Speaker 1: So go ahead and grab yourself one of those. Go
Speaker 1: light yourself a candle, some incense, or burn yourself some sage,
Speaker 1: and just get ready to chill out and have a
Speaker 1: good time. Although this episode is not very chill, It's
Speaker 1: got quite a bit of information, but you know what,
Speaker 1: all of my episodes have chill, So get ready to
Speaker 1: chill out and have yourself a good time. What's up friends, again,
Speaker 1: it's Mimi resident Auntie Supreme here at hand me my
Speaker 1: purse and today I am sipping on water and that's it.
Speaker 1: Nothing fancy, just water today, friends. Why because I had
Speaker 1: my first session with a personal trainer at my gym. Yes,
Speaker 1: I did join a gym. I thought I told you
Speaker 1: all that, but maybe I didn't. Either way, My membership
Speaker 1: comes with two free personal training sessions. The first session
Speaker 1: is all about getting to know the trainer, and it's
Speaker 1: like a consultation. It's a lot of talking. And y'all
Speaker 1: know Cis can talk. It's what I do, It's what
Speaker 1: I get paid to do. I'm a talker and I
Speaker 1: always have been. I tell y'all that all the time.
Speaker 1: I've been talking since.
Speaker 2: I could talk.
Speaker 1: Okay, the session was supposed to be thirty minutes, but
Speaker 1: it ended up being ninety minutes, not nineteen ninety an
Speaker 1: hour and a half. Because I like to ask a
Speaker 1: lot of questions because I need to understand. I have
Speaker 1: a serious need to understand, because that is how I
Speaker 1: process information. I need to understand it before I can
Speaker 1: actually process it. So I asked a lot of questions.
Speaker 1: During the ninety minutes, I learned so much. I did
Speaker 1: this old body scan thing. I scanned your whole body,
Speaker 1: and I learned all about like the fat, the muscles,
Speaker 1: the water, the pounds, the ratios, the percentages, the resting
Speaker 1: metabolic rates. I learned all these things which was really
Speaker 1: helpful because I, even though I'm super creative, I definitely
Speaker 1: learn in a very logical and practical way. So when
Speaker 1: I started seeing numbers and we started adding and subtracting,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, this now this makes sense
Speaker 1: when I could understand it that way from that perspective.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I did the body scan and I learned
Speaker 1: that I am fucking dehydrated.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I was in complete shock and I was mildly devastated.
Speaker 1: But it's all good because you know, I have to
Speaker 1: say that the session has me kind of focused now
Speaker 1: on making some shifts in a different kind of way
Speaker 1: because I understand it in a much more logical and
Speaker 1: practical way. So I'm ready to get to it. My
Speaker 1: next appointment is next week and that's the workout session.
Speaker 1: So y'all pray my strength and the Lord.
Speaker 2: Please Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, this is here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just keep says lifted in prayer because I
Speaker 1: don't want this man to kill me. Actually, I do
Speaker 1: really enjoy working out once I finally get to the gym.
Speaker 1: It's getting me there that sometimes historically has been a struggle,
Speaker 1: but you know what, it's a new day. I'm on
Speaker 1: a new path. I have a new mindset and I'm
Speaker 1: ready to handle my business. So realistically, I ain't even
Speaker 1: tripping because I'm about to handle my scandal.
Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying. You understand me? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1: Friends and Ken, Today's gym is It's one of those
Speaker 1: songs that I just kind of get into when I
Speaker 1: get into it, and when I get into it, it's
Speaker 1: so motivational for me, but it may not be that
Speaker 1: way for everybody else. The song is a song from
Speaker 1: a sister that helps from the UK. Her name is
Speaker 1: Little Simms. She is a British Nigerian actress and rapper
Speaker 1: from Islington, London. And I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: know about Top Boy on Netflix, but she plays Dushane's
Speaker 1: baby Mava on Top Boy. And if you don't know
Speaker 1: about Top Boy, Top Moy, Top Boy, get familiar. Like
Speaker 1: I said, it's on Netflix. I love the show and
Speaker 1: if I could say so, it is some funny ass
Speaker 1: black men on that show, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Like it Watching that show made me say to myself,
Speaker 1: I gotta get to London because that's where my dude is.
Speaker 1: Like I know, that's where my man is. He waiting
Speaker 1: for me too.
Speaker 2: But anyway, stick to the game plan.
Speaker 1: Anyway, sister is killing the game right now. I really
Speaker 1: love her music, her sound, her energy like she's funky.
Speaker 1: She gives Lauren Hill vibes, she gives Missy Elliott vibes.
Speaker 1: But she's totally in her own lane. But this song
Speaker 1: right here, and I like a lot of her music actually,
Speaker 1: but this song right here is my jammy jam. And
Speaker 1: like I said, the song is called point and Kill
Speaker 1: and it's a situation. So I'm gonna stop talking about it.
Speaker 1: I want you to hear it. So go ahead and
Speaker 1: check this out.
Speaker 3: This no feel no body, no body, no body?
Speaker 1: Why don't kill as a kid say it's a bob.
Speaker 2: I know you like it.
Speaker 1: It's so good right This song is, like I said,
Speaker 1: it's what I listened to when I want to get
Speaker 1: in the zone. In the zone that I'm talking about
Speaker 1: is the zone that puts me in the mood to
Speaker 1: grind out for what I want. It's a song that
Speaker 1: makes me feel like I'm gonna hustle because I want this,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? The zone that says I
Speaker 1: do what I want and I don't give a shit
Speaker 1: about what anybody else says or what anybody else has
Speaker 1: going on, because I'm going after what is mine, and
Speaker 1: abundance is mine, and it.
Speaker 2: May not bring that out of you. You may not.
Speaker 1: You may listen to this and be like, what is
Speaker 1: she talking about? But when I hear this song and
Speaker 1: I listen to it, and I listen to the chorus
Speaker 1: point and kill if I want it, it's mine. You
Speaker 1: can't stop me. Hey, listen, that's that laser focus. I
Speaker 1: just I just imagine seeing like, you know, the guns
Speaker 1: like Tony Montana used to have with the laser beans.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they're called, because I don't like guns.
Speaker 1: Guns freak me out. But it is the song that
Speaker 1: I listen to when I want to zone, when I
Speaker 1: want to hone in. Excuse me, when I get into
Speaker 1: the zone and I want to hone in on a
Speaker 1: specific goal and I want to go hard.
Speaker 2: Go listen to it. And of course you already know
Speaker 2: the video.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the video is fucking amazing. It's some black, excellent, African, beautiful, nostalgic,
Speaker 1: colorful shit.
Speaker 2: Going on in the video.
Speaker 1: The linkers in the show notes, go look at the video.
Speaker 1: Now go just go right now, but then make sure
Speaker 1: to bring your ass back and listen to the rest
Speaker 1: of the show. But go look at the video and
Speaker 1: check the song out. I want you to do that.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, and then just make sure you come back
Speaker 1: so you can listen to the rest of the show
Speaker 1: because it's pretty interesting. Ye all right, So friends and
Speaker 1: can let's get into it. Okay, I'm gonna be really
Speaker 1: transparent in this episode, like I'm gonna be a little
Speaker 1: vulnerable with you guys, which is not new, I've done that.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna be transparent and I'm gonna be transparent
Speaker 1: about where I am in this moment right now. If
Speaker 1: you have been listening to Hand Me My Purse since
Speaker 1: its inception, then you know that around September ish Sis
Speaker 1: gets a little bit of the blues, and that is
Speaker 1: for several reasons. There are a lot of not a lot,
Speaker 1: let me stop. There's a specific date in the month
Speaker 1: of September that is very triggering for me, and God
Speaker 1: bless my best friend. She always tries to help me
Speaker 1: out around that date to make sure that I am
Speaker 1: you know, busy or you know, doing something that brings
Speaker 1: me some peace or that excites me or makes me happy.
Speaker 1: But it's not a major way to get around it,
Speaker 1: I guess. But I appreciate all the help and the
Speaker 1: support and the love and encouragement that I get around
Speaker 1: that date. And it's not a heavy depression where like
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave my bed, or you know,
Speaker 1: I want to harm myself, or you know, I'm crying
Speaker 1: all day. But we always have to remember that depression
Speaker 1: can manifest itself in so many different ways, and it's
Speaker 1: just so many ways that you wouldn't even think about.
Speaker 1: Did you know that it can show up in ways
Speaker 1: that you would never even associate with depression. And I'll
Speaker 1: get I'll get into that in a second. But after
Speaker 1: I've read some of these symptoms, I was like, uh, oh,
Speaker 1: I might be dealing with what I found out is
Speaker 1: actually a thing that I had never heard of, Okay,
Speaker 1: And so I also want to say that just because
Speaker 1: you may have some of these symptoms, or you may
Speaker 1: have one of these symptoms, that doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: are dealing with depression. You may just have one of
Speaker 1: the symptoms and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: But I know for me, I know me, I know
Speaker 2: my body, I know my mind. And so.
Speaker 1: The thing that I was talking about, you know, I
Speaker 1: said to myself, like I said that I might be
Speaker 1: dealing with something that I didn't even know was a thing,
Speaker 1: Like you know, I didn't even know this was a thing.
Speaker 2: And that, my friends, is hidden depression. Right. I'm sure
Speaker 2: you're thinking.
Speaker 1: What in the world is hidden depression, friends, and ken
Speaker 1: is when someone works really hard to conceal their symptoms
Speaker 1: and to show the world that they are fine or
Speaker 1: a Okay, here's the funny thing about me, though, I'm
Speaker 1: not good at faking it, not at all. I mean,
Speaker 1: like people will ask me constantly, are you okay? What's wrong?
Speaker 1: You seem different than and it's like, let me alone,
Speaker 1: that's what I want to say. I don't say that,
Speaker 1: but in.
Speaker 2: My mind, I'm like, let me the ark alone. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I didn't mean it's snort like that.
Speaker 1: But people when they have hidden depression may appear to
Speaker 1: be high functioning at work and or in social situations,
Speaker 1: but behind closed doors sometimes they could very well be
Speaker 1: living with some of the classic symptoms of depression that
Speaker 1: you know, everybody knows of, you know, the land in bed,
Speaker 1: the not getting out of bed, the crime, the one
Speaker 1: to hurt themselves, you know, sleeping all day, there's so many,
Speaker 1: you know, so many, the crying, you know, all the
Speaker 1: classic symptoms of depression. And just because you have hidden depression,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you are suffering or dealing with
Speaker 1: the classic symptoms of depression. And that's hence the term
Speaker 1: hidden depression, smiling depression, or concealed depression. Yes, so, without
Speaker 1: further ado, now let's get into the nitty gritty. Let's
Speaker 1: look at what some of these hidden signs of depression
Speaker 1: look like. Okay, I'm gonna run them down for you.
Speaker 1: Weight loss or weight gain, headaches. You might want to
Speaker 1: get a pin, Go get a pin, get your pin,
Speaker 1: get a pin. I'm gonna go ahead and pause it,
Speaker 1: and you get a pin, and I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Be right back.
Speaker 1: Okay, hopefully you pause it and you got yourself a
Speaker 1: pen and paper, and you want to go ahead entitle
Speaker 1: this symptoms or hidden signs of depression, symptoms of hidden depression,
Speaker 1: weight loss or weight gain, headaches. Now, please the advised,
Speaker 1: just because you lost a lot of weight or gained
Speaker 1: a lot of weight, or you get headaches, sometimes that
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily mean that you're suffering from hidden depression. Okay,
Speaker 1: so don't go running taking stuff and running with it.
Speaker 1: Heart palpitations, back aches, digestive problems, extreme fatigue, sleeping too
Speaker 1: much or not enough, body aches and pains, nervousness, grief,
Speaker 1: misplaced anger, panic, working too much or being a workaholic,
Speaker 1: consuming too much alcohol or drugs, irritability, child, don't get
Speaker 1: me started about irritability and being moody. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's hidden depression, paramenopause, or me just being a
Speaker 1: moody es scorpio moon. Changes in your appetite, negative self talk,
Speaker 1: forced happiness, also known as toxic positivity, being extremely pessimistic
Speaker 1: or negative in decisiveness or difficulty making decisions, excessive worrying,
Speaker 1: and and lastly low sex drive, just to name a few. Oo,
Speaker 1: Lord have mercy, shall please baby listen? When I looked
Speaker 1: at this list, I said to myself, since you might
Speaker 1: want to look into this a little further, okay, because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you I have been dealing with, particularly
Speaker 1: in the month of September in August, about ninety five
Speaker 1: percent of these, maybe ninety percent of these, And we
Speaker 1: ain't even gonna get into the symptoms that we already
Speaker 1: know about that we mentioned earlier, like, let's not even
Speaker 1: mention the major symptoms that get talked about all the time,
Speaker 1: the heavy hitters that are always associated with depression. However,
Speaker 1: as with lots of mental health conditions, depression is not
Speaker 1: a cookie cutter on a situation. This is why I
Speaker 1: wanted to share those other ways that it can manifest
Speaker 1: or that it can show up in our lives. And
Speaker 1: the reason that I'm bringing this up is because, in
Speaker 1: the words of the Weekend, I feel it coming. I
Speaker 1: feel it coming, baby, I feel it coming. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try really hard to get in front of this.
Speaker 1: I told my therapists a couple of weeks ago. Shout
Speaker 1: out to my therapist. I told my therapists a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago that I feel weird, that something is off.
Speaker 2: I could feel it.
Speaker 1: And she asked me if I had been handling my
Speaker 1: business when it comes to self care and being intentional,
Speaker 1: and guess what, I'm not.
Speaker 2: Nope, this is not. I am not.
Speaker 1: School started, cheer started, and I'm just in school, work mode,
Speaker 1: cheer mode. And then that made me think that I
Speaker 1: need to get back to myself at some point. I
Speaker 1: got away from me me right, and I just became
Speaker 1: focused on being an employee and working with kids and
Speaker 1: being a cheerleading coach in the host of a podcast.
Speaker 1: But I done got away from the essence.
Speaker 2: Or the root, the root of me. Right.
Speaker 1: All these things that I do are amazing things. I
Speaker 1: don't have a problem with these things. I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: all of these things in my life. I love all
Speaker 1: of these things. I really love coaching cheer. Does it
Speaker 1: get on my nerves sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yes? Duh?
Speaker 1: I really love my job. Does it get on my
Speaker 1: nerves sometimes?
Speaker 2: Yes? I'm a human.
Speaker 1: I really love my podcast. Does it get on my nerves?
Speaker 2: Sometimes? Not? Really?
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm still having a good time doing this. It's
Speaker 1: still a lot of fun to me and doesn't really
Speaker 1: feel like work. But I got to get back to me, right,
Speaker 1: the essence of me, like the root of me, the
Speaker 1: me that I am without work, without a podcast, without cheer,
Speaker 1: without being somebody's daughter, somebody's granddaughter, somebody's friend, somebody's sister,
Speaker 1: somebody's niece, somebody's cousin. I got to just get back
Speaker 1: to me, like bare naked raw met And this is
Speaker 1: probably adding excuse me, this is probably adding to why
Speaker 1: I'm feeling off kilter and I'm just not really taking
Speaker 1: care of myself the way that I do when I'm
Speaker 1: fully focused and intentional about my self care rituals and routines,
Speaker 1: and so I am Yep, I'm going to get back
Speaker 1: to it. I just need to get focused and lock
Speaker 1: in on the ways in which I do care for me.
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on joy, I'm going to focus
Speaker 1: on peace, and I'm going to focus on gratitude. And
Speaker 1: after reading about these symptoms, I'm going to make sure
Speaker 1: that it's not the fake versions of joy, piece and gratitude,
Speaker 1: because sometimes folks be doing that. Okay, let's be clear.
Speaker 1: Sometimes folks be out here fake joyful, fake peaceful, and
Speaker 1: fake grateful. Okay, the fake fools, that's what they call.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm calling people, fake fuls, the fakefuls like
Speaker 1: they be out here fronting. And if you listen to
Speaker 1: the show, you already know that when it comes to
Speaker 1: not being authentic or being fake or phony, like that
Speaker 1: shit makes me want a barf man, Like it literally
Speaker 1: makes me uncomfortable, Like I literally have a visceral reaction
Speaker 1: to being people are, especially people around me, being fake
Speaker 1: but when I feel like I cannot be my authentic self,
Speaker 1: like it does something to my physical person, my physical embodiment,
Speaker 1: Like it throws me off.
Speaker 2: And I just really.
Speaker 1: Don't understand how people can manage that, Like being phony.
Speaker 1: It costs too much, too much energy, too much time.
Speaker 1: It just costs too much. And people be out here
Speaker 1: doing the most and getting the least back from what
Speaker 1: they put out into the world.
Speaker 2: I don't get it. But whatever.
Speaker 1: Now, what I want to do with you guys, is
Speaker 1: I want to share some information from the text from
Speaker 1: a book that my therapist shoutouts are my therapists gave
Speaker 1: me a while back. I'm going to share some quick
Speaker 1: tricks to instantly feel better.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I always talk about on this show all the different
Speaker 1: ways you can ritual lie as gratitude and ritualize self
Speaker 1: care and peace, and I talk about prayer and meditation
Speaker 1: and you know, ways to get back to your center
Speaker 1: and all those things. And there are things that you
Speaker 1: can do immediately, some of them and some of them
Speaker 1: take a little more work. But this text gives you
Speaker 1: some really cute quick tricks. Okay, this is like a
Speaker 1: cheat sheet, so you should already have a pen and
Speaker 1: paper out. If you're driving, don't worry about it. Come
Speaker 1: back to it if you can. If you don't, come
Speaker 1: back to it, see if you can just remember some
Speaker 1: of them. It's real simple. It ain't heavy, Okay. So
Speaker 1: this is going to be a cheat sheet for you
Speaker 1: guys and for me shit, because I'm the one that
Speaker 1: I don't already made it real clear. I'm the motherfucker
Speaker 1: that's in it. Knee deep, in it, shut out to
Speaker 1: Parliament Funkadelic. Knee Deep is a song by Parliament Funkadelic,
Speaker 1: and it was number one on the charts. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it was Billboard or what, but it was
Speaker 1: number one. I would I'm gonna assume it's the Billboard charts,
Speaker 1: number one on the Board charts when I was born
Speaker 1: in nineteen seventy nine. So let's get into these quick tricks.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pause it. So actually I'm not gonna posit.
Speaker 1: Let's just I am gonna posit it because I care
Speaker 1: about you, just in case you didn't have a pen
Speaker 1: and paper before. Let's go, all right, friends and Kim,
Speaker 1: let's get into it, all right. So these are some
Speaker 1: quick tricks to make you feel better instantly. Some of
Speaker 1: these I have never mentioned on this show because well,
Speaker 1: I didn't know. But I like them because they are
Speaker 1: not as intense as some of the ones that I
Speaker 1: may have mentioned before when I talk about ways to
Speaker 1: get back to yourself or whatever it is I'll be
Speaker 1: talking about when I be talking. But I like this,
Speaker 1: And so the book says, when life gets stressful and
Speaker 1: you feel like you're losing your emotional balance, use one
Speaker 1: or more of these simple tricks to help you relax
Speaker 1: your mind and resenter yourself in an instant You know, here,
Speaker 1: especially in America, especially in twenty twenty three, we love
Speaker 1: instantaneous shit. So let's go one. Wash your hands and face,
Speaker 1: and brush your teeth. The simple act of cleaning these
Speaker 1: parts of your body is both reinvigorating and relaxing and
Speaker 1: gives you that fresh start feeling that ain't no lie
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: Think about it.
Speaker 1: After you wash your face, brush your teeth, wash your hands,
Speaker 1: you do feel kind of fresh, like you start nowhere.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Change your socks. It's an odd trick, but it works.
Speaker 1: Bring a change of socks to work if you need to,
Speaker 1: and change your socks midway through the day. You'll be
Speaker 1: amazed at how much fresher you'll feel. Call a close friend.
Speaker 1: Sometimes a quick conversation with someone you care about is
Speaker 1: just what you need to boost your mood. That ain't
Speaker 1: a lie. And I'm gonna tell you something. Before I
Speaker 1: started recording this episode, my best friend called me and
Speaker 1: we both you know, you know, we're women of a
Speaker 1: certain age. We can be a little moody, but talking
Speaker 1: to her really cheered me up. Next, stretch. When you
Speaker 1: feel yourself getting stressed, get up, reach toward the sky,
Speaker 1: bend down and touch your toes. Twist your torso from
Speaker 1: side to side. Stretch it out. Go outdoors. I always
Speaker 1: talk about this one. Getting some fresh air outdoors is
Speaker 1: always a good way to rouse your senses and clear
Speaker 1: your mind. Take a light exercise break, do a few
Speaker 1: sets of jumping jacks to get your blood moving, or
Speaker 1: take a walk. Even the slightest bit of exercise can
Speaker 1: reduce momentary stress and re energize your mind. And it'll
Speaker 1: send a little bit of dopamine to your brain. Get
Speaker 1: those dopamine fireworks popping up in your brain. That's what
Speaker 1: you need to do. Dress to feel your best. When
Speaker 1: we know we are looking our best, we naturally feel better.
Speaker 1: Listen to your favorite music. If it's not too much
Speaker 1: of a distraction, listening to your favorite upbeat music can
Speaker 1: be a great way to boost your spirits again. Another
Speaker 1: dopamine booster. Take a few deep, controlled breaths. We talk
Speaker 1: about that all the time. Deep breathing helps reduce stress,
Speaker 1: a source of fatigue, and increases the level of oxygen
Speaker 1: in the blood. Techniques can be as simple as inhaling
Speaker 1: for five seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, and
Speaker 1: inhaling for four seconds. Maybe they mean four for four whatever.
Speaker 1: You can also try more elaborate techniques that require different positions.
Speaker 1: Clear your stuffed nose. If allergies, hello, I hate my allergies,
Speaker 1: but whatever. If allergies have your sinus is blocked, you
Speaker 1: may be feeling more tired and negative. Rench your nasal
Speaker 1: passages with saline solution. Tell you something. This is a
Speaker 1: fucking truth. Okay, there's nothing like I have horrible allergies.
Speaker 1: I've had allergies that sucked since I as long as
Speaker 1: I can remember when I got put on to saline flushes.
Speaker 1: Some of y'all use netty pots. I ain't really with
Speaker 1: the shits. I don't want the shit coming back off
Speaker 1: the other side of my nose. But I use a
Speaker 1: saline flush. Let me tell you something, When you can
Speaker 1: breathe out of both nostrils, you feel like a new
Speaker 1: human being after not being able to breathe. Clean your
Speaker 1: nose out. Also, your nose filters everything that you inhale in,
Speaker 1: all the hair in your nose and stuff like, just
Speaker 1: flush it out. Like, just clean your nose out with
Speaker 1: some saline. And if you don't have saline, clean your
Speaker 1: nose out with some water. Get that dust and stuff
Speaker 1: out of your nose because it's old, it's old news.
Speaker 1: Get it out, Okay. Cook a good meal, even if
Speaker 1: you are by yourself, Preparing a tasty dinner, setting the
Speaker 1: table and treating yourself to a wonderful culinary experience will
Speaker 1: lift your spirits. Sharing it with someone you love or
Speaker 1: respect will make it even more nurturing. Walk listen. This
Speaker 1: one is a situation walk away from energy vampires. Energy
Speaker 1: vampires are people who always have something to complain about
Speaker 1: or a problem that needs to be fixed, and they'll
Speaker 1: drain your energy by making you listen to them go
Speaker 1: on and on and on about their problems, or by
Speaker 1: giving them attention. Ain't nobody got time for that bull
Speaker 1: uh uh? Get the hell out of here with that
Speaker 1: complete and important piece of unfinished business. Today is a
Speaker 1: perfect day to finish what you started. Few feelings are
Speaker 1: more satisfying than the one you get after an old
Speaker 1: burden has been lifted off of your shoulders. Work on
Speaker 1: something that's meaningful to you. Engage yourself in a personal project,
Speaker 1: or pull the trigger on doing something you've wanted to
Speaker 1: do for a long time but haven't yet had the
Speaker 1: resolve to tackle. This makes me think I should start
Speaker 1: painting again. Maybe assist someone in need. When you make
Speaker 1: a positive impact in someone else's life, you also make
Speaker 1: a positive impact on your own. Do something that helps
Speaker 1: someone else to be happy or suffer less. We promise
Speaker 1: it will be an extremely rewarding experience. Next, think about
Speaker 1: your latest or greatest success.
Speaker 2: This is amazing.
Speaker 1: Think about it for at least sixty seconds. Taking in
Speaker 1: your success will help you reach it again and again.
Speaker 1: I love this. I'm totally gonna do this. Quite simply.
Speaker 1: It reminds you that if you've done it before, you
Speaker 1: can do it again. My ass needed to hear that today.
Speaker 1: Next act like today is already an awesome day. I
Speaker 1: do this on a regular basis. Research shows that although
Speaker 1: we think we act because of the way we feel,
Speaker 1: in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.
Speaker 1: A great attitude always leads to a great experience. Notice
Speaker 1: what's right, amen, it's easy to overlook what's working. Take
Speaker 1: a moment to celebrate it and watch the positive momentum build.
Speaker 1: And lastly, take a moment to acknowledge how far you've come.
Speaker 1: We can all lose our feelings of self worth, especially
Speaker 1: when something goes wrong. The truth is that if you
Speaker 1: have done it before, you can do it again, no
Speaker 1: matter what it is. Listen, I love that. It was amazing,
Speaker 1: that was lovely. I loved it so, friends, and can
Speaker 1: if you feel yourself experiencing some of the symptoms, or
Speaker 1: even that I mentioned earlier, the hidden symptoms, or even
Speaker 1: some of the heavy hitters. Of course, my first suggestion
Speaker 1: you already know is going to be to seek out
Speaker 1: professional help. Go see somebody who has some credentialing, some
Speaker 1: letters behind their name. Because I'm not a therapist, I
Speaker 1: don't ever pretend to be one. I am a therapist.
Speaker 1: I in a life coach. Although I've been considering it
Speaker 1: but I'm not a therapist. I'm not a life coach.
Speaker 1: I'm just a check out here with some mental health issues,
Speaker 1: as we all are. Because I fundamentally believe that we
Speaker 1: all have some form of mental health. I believe that
Speaker 1: mental health is a spectrum, and that we are all
Speaker 1: at different points and places on that spectrum. I'm just
Speaker 1: a human and I'm on that spectrum too, and I
Speaker 1: am sharing information with you that I find as I
Speaker 1: am on my own journey to peace and unfiltered joy.
Speaker 1: And if you think that you are living with or
Speaker 1: suffering from suffering with excuse me, depression, please go get
Speaker 1: some help. You deserve to have help help along your
Speaker 1: journey to get to the best version of yourself. You
Speaker 1: don't have to go it alone. You don't have to
Speaker 1: be alone trying to get to the best version of you.
Speaker 1: Some people think that, oh, if I'm working on myself,
Speaker 1: I got to do it by myself. You don't, You don't.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with having a supportive village of people
Speaker 1: around to help you along the way. I know, I don't.
Speaker 1: I have friends, I have family, you know. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. Those little kids at my job, they.
Speaker 2: Get on my nerves.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you something, sometimes they brighten my
Speaker 1: day and they don't even realize it. One of my coworkers,
Speaker 1: his nephew, goes to the school and he is a
Speaker 1: super duper little like goober.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: But something about that boy just brings me joy when
Speaker 1: I talk to that because he's such a little like Goober. Today,
Speaker 1: his best friend spent fifteen minutes telling me, Now, this
Speaker 1: boy's in the sixth grade. Black boy in West Baltimore
Speaker 1: spent fifteen minutes telling me about his favorite band that's
Speaker 1: called Riot and they are what did he say? He said,
Speaker 1: it's hard rock and electronica. But I don't think he
Speaker 1: meant electronica because when I listened to it, it didn't
Speaker 1: really sound like electronica. But he told me about their song.
Speaker 1: His favorite song by them is Overkill. I'm actually gonna
Speaker 1: put it in the show notes. Shout out to that
Speaker 1: little boy. I can't say his name, but shout out
Speaker 1: to you, little boy. He's also a little dweb, a
Speaker 1: little goober. But they bring me joy because there's something
Speaker 1: about little black kids that just make my soul. It
Speaker 1: just makes my soul shine or smile in a very
Speaker 1: shiny way. No, it makes my soul shine. I said that, right,
Speaker 1: I beam because it's like you, little goober, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? And I love it and I love
Speaker 1: to see little Black hEDS is free to express and
Speaker 1: free to be whoever it is they want to be,
Speaker 1: not being some stereotype that somebody created. You know that
Speaker 1: they think they have to live up to. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something, these little boys, they just live in
Speaker 1: their best life. I don't think this little boy should
Speaker 1: be listening to this group because they do be cussing,
Speaker 1: but that's none of my business because he's not my child.
Speaker 1: But I just think that you gotta find the joy.
Speaker 1: You gotta find the peace. You gotta find the reasons
Speaker 1: to be grateful. However you can, in the words of
Speaker 1: some wrapper, get it how you live, get in where
Speaker 1: you fit in, fine, figure out what works for you, okay,
Speaker 1: And that is why And how I know about maintenance
Speaker 1: in between, like my therapy sessions, because thanks to my
Speaker 1: therapist and her help along the way. Right, it's like
Speaker 1: you gotta like, you go to therapy, you do the work,
Speaker 1: but you gotta have some maintenance. You gotta do something
Speaker 1: in the meantime between time and I don't know if
Speaker 1: my therapist knows that, but she is my mental health
Speaker 1: life partner.
Speaker 2: We go together, real.
Speaker 1: Bad, real bad. We go together, real bad. Shut out
Speaker 1: to Young Miami. Anyway, Friends and Ken, I want you
Speaker 1: to take care of yourself. I want you to listen
Speaker 1: to those quick tips for feeling instantly better than you
Speaker 1: were before you did the quick tip. I want you
Speaker 1: to focus on unfiltered joy, radical peace, and being hella
Speaker 1: grateful because That's what I'm focusing on. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get intentional, real intentional about I'm getting back to my
Speaker 1: center because I'm a little off kilter and I'm a Libra.
Speaker 1: I'm also a scorpion and my scales are unbalanced. I
Speaker 1: gotta get back to it, and so I'm gonna focus
Speaker 1: on doing that. Take care of yourself, and I'm talking
Speaker 1: to you, but on some serious shit. I'm really talking
Speaker 1: to me first, right, I love y'all.
Speaker 2: I do friends again for two days straight. Facts question.
Speaker 1: This question is coming from a gentleman, a man, and
Speaker 1: it's very interesting. Let me just go ahead and get
Speaker 1: into it for you. Okay, Hi, my name is Aiden.
Speaker 1: I truly need your advice regarding a recent situation in
Speaker 1: my bedroom.
Speaker 2: It's starting off spicy.
Speaker 1: I'll start off by saying that I'm married to a
Speaker 1: great woman that truly loves me.
Speaker 2: We have been married for three years.
Speaker 1: We've always had great chemistry, both inside and outside of
Speaker 1: the bedroom. Recently, things have been a bit dry between us,
Speaker 1: so I decided to spice it up one night.
Speaker 2: So one night, while we were making.
Speaker 1: Love, I decided to test the waters. I started calling
Speaker 1: my wife derogatory names.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. That's made me giggle a little bit. Sorry, friends,
Speaker 2: stick to the game plan.
Speaker 1: She didn't seem faced while we were in the act.
Speaker 1: After we finished, my wife seemed to have an attitude.
Speaker 2: You think.
Speaker 1: I asked her why, and she says she felt a
Speaker 1: way about the names I called her during sex. I
Speaker 1: tried to let her know it wasn't personal. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to spice it up a bit, but she wasn't
Speaker 1: feeling it. Was I wrong or should she be more
Speaker 1: open minded? Aiden from Charleston, South Carolina, well aidan. What
Speaker 1: probably happened ISFE was probably in the mood boom boom boom,
Speaker 1: y'all was getting it, boom boom boom out getting it,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you called her a name,
Speaker 1: and she was like, what is happening? What is going on?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: And you looking like wait, I thought I was doing
Speaker 1: a good thing, and you know what, Aiden, I gotta
Speaker 1: be honest, you were. I don't think anything is wrong
Speaker 1: with wanting to spice up your bedroom business, your marriage bed.
Speaker 1: I've heard it called that in church before, when I
Speaker 1: went to church in high school, your marriage bed. There's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with wanting to spice it up. But I
Speaker 1: think what was lacking on your part. It's always lacking
Speaker 1: when people write in these questions communication. I think that
Speaker 1: you gotta be careful bringing something new and spicy to
Speaker 1: your marriage bed, or to your romantic bed or your
Speaker 1: sex life with a partner without including them in the decision, right,
Speaker 1: because it kind of comes across as a little self centered,
Speaker 1: and sex and intimacy should never be approached from a
Speaker 1: selfish or self centered or self absorbed perspective or approach
Speaker 1: or seen through that lens.
Speaker 2: So you didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 1: The only thing that did not happen is that you
Speaker 1: did not include her in the decision, because what if
Speaker 1: you would have talked to her about it and she
Speaker 1: could have told you. No, I don't like that because
Speaker 1: it could have triggered her. It could have made her
Speaker 1: think about like you just never know people's story, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, I know this is extreme,
Speaker 1: but this is a trigger warning.
Speaker 2: If she.
Speaker 1: Saw or witnessed or knew about somebody being raped and
Speaker 1: being called names like that, like you just never know.
Speaker 1: So you kind of got to approach sex and intimacy
Speaker 1: and romance, specifically physical intimacy with a respect for the
Speaker 1: other person. Does that mean that you don't respect her, No,
Speaker 1: it just means that you didn't respect how she felt
Speaker 1: or how she may have felt about that part of
Speaker 1: spicing up the act.
Speaker 2: So just next time, just talk to her about it.
Speaker 2: You never know. She might be really into some real.
Speaker 1: Freaky stuff, like real freaky shit, but just talk to
Speaker 1: her about it, because that way she can say, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that ain't really my jam or you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: with it and when you do it, giggle after or
Speaker 1: punch me in the ribs or you know, different people
Speaker 1: are into different stuff. But she might not have yucked
Speaker 1: your young if you would have just asked her first
Speaker 1: or included her in it. So you didn't do anything wrong,
Speaker 1: but just remember that when it comes to being intimacy
Speaker 1: and sex with your partner, like you want to you
Speaker 1: want to have conversations and you want to have open
Speaker 1: communication about these things because people want to feel included.
Speaker 1: They want to feel like they parted a decision making
Speaker 1: and feel like they parted a party too. Don't be
Speaker 1: just springing stuff up on people. What if she just
Speaker 1: sprung something up on you, you were probably not like it.
Speaker 1: What if she decided she wanted to drive candle wax
Speaker 1: in your booty crap and just didn't tell you.
Speaker 2: You might not like that.
Speaker 1: But if you would have, she would have talked to
Speaker 1: you about it, maybe you would have been a little
Speaker 1: more open to it. Just saying I was can I
Speaker 1: say just saying my brother, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: you're brother or not, but whatever, just saying homie, like,
Speaker 1: just include her. That's all. That's all I got. Sounds
Speaker 1: a little freaky though, sounds like it might be fun.
Speaker 1: Way friends and can for two days we got to
Speaker 1: do better. I went to one of my aunties that
Speaker 1: I always go to, and that is my auntie, Tina Turner,
Speaker 1: the Queen of Black Buddhism, and she said, living a
Speaker 1: joyful life I found is not about trying to avoid
Speaker 1: the unavoidable. This is such a Buddhist mentality, like seriously
Speaker 1: once again. Living a joyful life, I've found is not
Speaker 1: about trying to avoid the unavoidable. Joy comes from summoning
Speaker 1: a strong life force to overcome problems from the smallest
Speaker 1: irritation to the biggest disaster. One more time, because I
Speaker 1: stopped in the middle of the first time. Living a
Speaker 1: joyful life, I've found is not about trying to avoid
Speaker 1: the unavoidable. Joy comes from summoning a strong life force
Speaker 1: to overcome problems, from the smallest irritation to the biggest disaster.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Auntie, Tina, you black Buddhist queen. May you
Speaker 1: rest in paradise. I love Tina Turner. If you get
Speaker 1: a chance, watch that Tina Turner documentary. I want to
Speaker 1: say it's on HBO Max. I think it's on HBO Max.
Speaker 1: Watch it if you can. Who I was crying my
Speaker 1: eyes out. I did an episode about it. I can't
Speaker 1: tell you what episode it was. It was from a
Speaker 1: long time ago, but I tell you one thing. SIS
Speaker 1: was crying my eyes out, weeping. Something about it just
Speaker 1: hit my nerves A different way. I identified with her
Speaker 1: in so many ways, and it made me uncomfortable how
Speaker 1: much I identified with her. And it wasn't on any
Speaker 1: surface level either. It wasn't like about like at all.
Speaker 1: It was about her and her at her core and
Speaker 1: her who she was and like some of her pain.
Speaker 2: Oh chaw.
Speaker 1: Anyway, the first thing that I want to do is
Speaker 1: say thank you.
Speaker 2: Y'all know how to go.
Speaker 1: I want to thank God first, because God is supreme
Speaker 1: and I recognize and appreciate the grace that God extends
Speaker 1: to me every single day in my black ass life.
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you to you, and you
Speaker 1: and you and you. I want to say thank you
Speaker 1: to my folk. I want to say thank you to
Speaker 1: each and every one of you that's been here with
Speaker 1: me since day one, since March the first of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty twelve days before the pandemic lockdown started. A thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for being here with me. I
Speaker 1: truly appreciate you for being here. And even if you
Speaker 1: just started listening today, if you started listening on June thirteenth,
Speaker 1: I thank you for that as well.
Speaker 2: I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: Either way you cut it up, I'm thankful. I'm thankful
Speaker 1: for my family. I'm thankful for my friends. I'm thankful
Speaker 1: for y'all, my friends and kN my support, and of course,
Speaker 1: most importantly, every single person out there listening. I love
Speaker 1: y'all so much, and it is nothing short of an
Speaker 1: honor and a privilege to share my energy and my
Speaker 1: time with you, especially if you keep coming back to
Speaker 1: spend your energy and your time with me. And I
Speaker 1: say your energy because so many of you have told
Speaker 1: me that you listen to this podcast and you talk
Speaker 1: back to me. I fucking love that keep talking to me.
Speaker 1: I look forward to the next time that we get
Speaker 1: to do this with one another. And y'all already know
Speaker 1: what's going to be on next Tuesday. Now, before you
Speaker 1: exit out of whatever streaming service you're using to listen
Speaker 1: to this, please stop what you're doing, and if you
Speaker 1: haven't already done so, look for the subscribe or follow button,
Speaker 1: click on it if it's an option there in the
Speaker 1: streaming service where you're listening. Next, I want you to
Speaker 1: go over to Instagram and follow me at hand me
Speaker 1: my Purse Underscore podcast. Then look in the link I mean,
Speaker 1: look in the bio in the profile and my Instagram
Speaker 1: profile and click on the little like at thing with
Speaker 1: like numbers behind it. That's Threads. Go follow me on Threads,
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of like Twitter. We're taking a break,
Speaker 1: and on Facebook just search hen me my first podcast.
Speaker 1: If you listen on a streaming service or a medium
Speaker 1: that allows you to do so, please rate and review
Speaker 1: the show or give you.
Speaker 2: A thumbs up.
Speaker 1: If you can, shout out to all the people that's
Speaker 1: been rating and reviewing the show. As a matter of fact,
Speaker 1: I'm going to read one right now. Okay, this review
Speaker 1: is very recent. It was, like I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: like a week ago. I got this one maybe a
Speaker 1: week or two ago. And it is from Ladybug one
Speaker 1: O two and the title, whoever it is, they must
Speaker 1: know that I like French. I mean I do be
Speaker 1: talking about me loving the French and love in Paris
Speaker 1: unless they're French, which would be totally cool, oration or
Speaker 1: from a French speaking country. I'll say it says Jim
Speaker 1: Telemonts podcast, which friends means I love this podcast so much.
Speaker 1: It says this has become one of my favorite podcasts.
Speaker 1: She's single handedly bringing back the Quiet Storm voice to
Speaker 1: radio and or podcast waves. I love the way Mimi
Speaker 1: approaches any given subject. It feels like sitting down at
Speaker 1: the kitchen table discussing anything and everything with your friend
Speaker 1: or sister. Thank you so much, lady Bug, one O
Speaker 1: two you f and rock and I love, I love,
Speaker 1: love love that review.
Speaker 2: It made my day.
Speaker 1: So see that friends again, You too can have your
Speaker 1: review read on an episode of Handing My Purse.
Speaker 2: If you just leave a review, think about it.
Speaker 1: Friends, that can be sure to share hand in my
Speaker 1: Purse with your friends, your loved ones, and even people
Speaker 1: that you can't stand. Because the best way for anyone
Speaker 1: to find out about this show is by you guys
Speaker 1: telling them all about it. So telefriend to telefriend to telefriend.
Speaker 1: Please let me not say this. Usually I say, please
Speaker 1: submit your questions for the stray fac segment too, Hello
Speaker 1: at handymipurse dot com. But you know what, Nope, guess what.
Speaker 1: Go to the show notes. Okay, I tell y'all all
Speaker 1: the time to look at the show notes. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: about to tell you about the show notes anyway. But
Speaker 1: if you go to the show notes and you scroll
Speaker 1: down at the bottom where I have all the things
Speaker 1: listed like find a therapist, because the show notes are popping.
Speaker 1: Y'all don't really know, but the show notes are popping. Okay,
Speaker 1: find a therapist. I left the one up for gratitude rituals.
Speaker 1: I have the link to the jam so you could
Speaker 1: watch the video of the jam. But I have decided
Speaker 1: to add a link to the form where you can
Speaker 1: submit a question for straight facts. Write in the show notes.
Speaker 1: You ain't gotta go to no bios. You ain't gotta
Speaker 1: go to no instagrams. You ain't got send no email,
Speaker 1: You ain't got to send no DMS. You ain't gotta
Speaker 1: send no text, no smoke signal, morse code, send a
Speaker 1: carrier pigeon. You could just go straight to them show notes,
Speaker 1: because guess what you gotta You gotta be in a
Speaker 1: place where the show notes are because you got that's
Speaker 1: that's how you listen. So as you listen, just go
Speaker 1: to the show notutescroll down, show note. My said the
Speaker 1: show notts shell. What am I talking about?
Speaker 3: It was at this moment he knew he fucked up.
Speaker 1: Scroll down, go in the show notes, and just submit
Speaker 1: a question for straight facts. Your question will probably make it.
Speaker 1: It will because I read all questions, all of them.
Speaker 1: I don't filter none of them out, I read them all. Okay,
Speaker 1: do that for me, Do me a solid, do me
Speaker 1: a solid, leave a review, submit a question for straight facts. Also, remember,
Speaker 1: like I said that, the show notes are always available
Speaker 1: in the episode description. Wherever you're listening to the show,
Speaker 1: be sure to take a look at the show notes
Speaker 1: because that's where I put all of the juice, the juice,
Speaker 1: the jam, and the loveliness that I may talk about
Speaker 1: during the show, and even some extra stuff that I
Speaker 1: throw in there. Also, just so you know, the music
Speaker 1: for Him Me My Purse is provided by none other
Speaker 1: than West Baltimore's own Gloomy Tunes. Shout out to Gloomy Tunes,
Speaker 1: last one, not least, I want to give a big
Speaker 1: old shout out to my production team, my producers, and
Speaker 1: together we make.
Speaker 2: Up Rando Banjo and the Dirty Roots.
Speaker 1: And I look forward to you looking forward to listening
Speaker 1: to Hand Me My Purse the podcast each and every
Speaker 1: single Tuesday. And I'm out this bitch peace. Hand Me
Speaker 1: My Purse is a production of iHeart Podcasts. For more
Speaker 1: shows from iHeart Podcasts, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.