WEBVTT - My Mother’s Keeper Feat. Latham Thomas 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.360 Ancestral wisdom and a knowledge transfer that came through the 0:00:03.400 --> 0:00:06.600 ancestral plane in the birth. So I felt accompanied, I 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.240 felt covered, you know, So for me, that's like what 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.800 was the origin? Right, And within twenty minutes of my 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:16.840 son's birth, I said to everybody in the room, I 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:20.080 have to I have to help other women through this. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.239 I have to help because nobody said it would be this. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.560 I have to help preserve this moment for people, like 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:28.000 whatever is supposed to be for them, but I have 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:30.560 to help protect it. And I knew that, and I 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:33.040 was able to say that lucidly while I was high 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.160 after my son's birth right, which is a total high, 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:38.320 which we'll talk about more. But I felt this overwhelming 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:41.440 sense of euphoria when he was born, right, But I 0:00:41.479 --> 0:01:06.319 was able to be lucid enough to say that, Yeah. 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.120 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:12.320 I'm Erica and I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.040 Happy Wednesday, you guys. 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:21.399 This episode is sponsored by Honeypot, our famorite, famous, famous, favorite, 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:26.480 our famous and favorite wellness brand, Intimacy wellness brand. 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:27.840 We love Honeypot. 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:29.920 You've heard us talk about it, You've heard us share 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:33.479 on social and honestly, it's still hot as fuck out here. 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.479 I don't go anywhere without honeypot. I actually just came 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:39.000 back from Europe. I had honey pot in the bag. 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.760 I put it on every single toilet. I don't know 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:44.520 for me, like I literally have to travel with wipes 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:46.280 and I put them on every single toilet. 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:47.160 It's essential. 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.360 And I just love their wipes because they smell like sandalwood. 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.160 They have the sandalwood essence. They also have like a 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:54.920 lavender one. 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.840 They have a nice cucumber lo and it's like like 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.320 it makes me feel nostalgic. Remember like like que remember 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:02.280 melon from back in the day that everyone. 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:03.960 Had, is that from Math and Body Works? 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.120 Yeah, I was like smelling it. I was like like 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:11.120 on the toilet, this reminds me of my child. And 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:12.440 it's black owned. I love that. 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:14.200 I love, like I love when I'm in my house 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.239 and I'm using my products, I'm like, that's that's made 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:19.280 by assistant. That's made by assistant, Like it makes me 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:20.120 feel like I'm well. 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:21.760 I also I love that, But I also like that 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:25.560 it's female founded and owned, because what other person would 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:28.480 know how to make products for our bodies? 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.320 Like why weren't readvocating for this sooner because I still 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:33.840 don't know who the fuck Johnson and Johnson is. 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:37.080 So make sure you check out their their line. They 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.160 have a bunch of different products. They have their ritual line, 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:43.960 which I love. They have lubricants and serums. 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.400 Stimulating serums that I really enjoy. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.920 They also have boric acid to help regulate your pH 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:54.240 pH balance. So make sure you go to the honeypot 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:58.240 dot com and use our code GMBC twenty three for 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:00.080 twenty five percent off. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:01.920 That's a big ass discount. 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:02.240 The whole site. 0:03:02.240 --> 0:03:04.399 And they got all the things that you need, everything 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:06.600 your Yoni needs, they got it. 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:08.400 Amen. 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:12.880 Hallelujah, halleen. Two women known to feminine products. 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:14.919 How are you, my love? 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:17.240 I am good. I'm very good. 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:21.480 I'm you know, just chilling. School started. I'm a school 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:24.160 mom again. What do you guys know? Is my least 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:25.960 favorite part about being a mom is that I have 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:27.960 to wake up and take a child's school. Like I'm 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.360 in school and I thought i'd have more time, but 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.360 the summers just keep coming and going. 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:33.680 So I'm good. 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:35.800 She's in third grade now, which seems like a very 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:39.760 big age. Like the homework is more intense. So she's 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.520 like a little bit more like independent and like going 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:44.839 in her room and on her iPad to like talk 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.200 to her friends, like I'm just I'm on the phone. 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:48.160 I'm like, I don't care. 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:51.720 I had like her iPad went off like a text 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:52.560 and I was like who. 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.600 It was like multiple texts? Who are you talking to? 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:55.800 She's like, oh, I'm in a group tech. I'm in 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:57.480 a group chat with my friends. And I was like 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:00.480 which ones? And she's like why And I was like why, 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:04.000 hold up, give me this, give me that cud Do 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:07.000 you mean why? She's like, Mom, it's just Noah and 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:09.800 Carter and me and Luna. I'm like, all right, well, 0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:11.720 what are you all talking about. I'm gonna look when 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:12.280 you're sleeping. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:13.120 I know you know what. 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.479 Because Luna's been like sending me tiktoks like you and 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:19.040 Orlando should do this, And she's like, oh she sent 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:19.640 me a TikTok. 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.200 Oh my god, I'm like a little girl. 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:23.360 And she's like looking on she's like acting all nice 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:24.800 and it's like how I act at my dad with 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.880 my with my dad's family. And then she's like going 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:28.400 like going crazy. She's like how I acting out with 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:30.640 my mom. I was like, so you know you've been 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:31.680 showing your ass around me. 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:33.960 Well, there's another TikTok where they say, you know what, 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:38.960 the abbreviation for m O mom stands for made of money, 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.159 and so she like won't let that go at all, 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.440 And honestly, it's true, because you know, I just got 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:48.039 back from Europe and I spent every fucking dollar that 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:48.480 I have. 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:50.640 You eat top Ramen for the night. 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:55.040 I was gonna say two weeks because the euro is 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.880 not the US dollar is fucking trash over there, and 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.720 they charged for every fucking thing, every part I had 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.520 to because I didn't check in early. Because I didn't 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.000 check in before I arrived at the airport, they charged 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:11.599 me one hundred and fifty dollars. That was more expensive 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:12.840 than my plane ticket. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.200 So if you were to just checked in, they said. 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:16.799 They have a policy you have to check in before. 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:18.080 And I was like, how would I supposed to know that? 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.760 They said, we sent an email and I was like, what, Yeah, 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:23.080 So did. 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:23.719 You enjoy your trip? 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:24.440 I did? 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:25.600 It seems lovely. 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:28.880 It's like photos, your professional photos, and it looks like 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:29.880 you're cooking classes. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:31.280 I know, I was jealous. 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:34.680 I was I was keeping our tribe at Patreon on 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.560 Patreon updated. I haven't really shared much on social so 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:39.799 if you're on Patreon, make sure you go check out 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.920 all of the pictures, all of my little journal diary 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:46.040 entries about my trip in Europe. I went to Berlin, 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.599 I went to Venice. I went to Chink with Da, 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.880 which is like this, it's like the Italian Riviera. I 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.960 went to Florence and then I ended in Paris, and. 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:56.800 It was a lot. 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.920 I overpacked, so I was lugging like a big ass 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:04.600 suitcase up train stairs that had no elevators. Well, it 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.279 was me and her, and she doesn't carry shit, so 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.280 it was just me. So we had one big luggage 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:11.840 with all of our stuff and I had two little 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.280 carry ons. And I did overpack, yes I did, but 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:18.280 I didn't consider like taking the train and then like 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:23.520 not being an old country and not having elevators, and 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.800 also people are rude, like they see me with my 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:30.839 kid and no one's helping me, Like I'm just like struggling. 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:31.600 Up these stairs. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.080 It's also like ninety five degrees. 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:36.240 So basically you're telling me Chilvy is also dead in 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:36.680 the UK. 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.479 I threw on my shoulder I've been in pain for 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:41.560 like a week and a half. But other than that, 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:46.560 other than that, it. 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:48.800 Was really good. I feel like me and I re reconnected. 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.120 I feel like, I don't know, like are just we 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:55.400 just I really tried to be as present as I could. 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:57.400 I really tried to stay off my phone as much 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:01.279 as I could, and and it was we just like 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.080 went to the park a lot, which I don't really 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.000 do that here a lot, Like she asks me to 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:08.040 go and I'm like, but for some reason there I was. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:09.000 I was all about it. 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:10.920 So I was like, you know, I really need to 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:16.840 adopt these practices here and just we talk about this 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:18.800 all the time. Just being present obviously, and you know, 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.000 when you're a business owner and just doing a thousand 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:25.000 things that it could feel really impossible. But it was 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:29.800 really really special, and I am dedicated to doing it 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.440 every year if I can maybe maybe not, maybe I'll 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:37.000 go to like a cheaper country. I was really like 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.360 stepping into my bougie era this year. And I was 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:42.400 really adamant about going to Europe because I hadn't been 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.760 in a few years. And we just worked so hard 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.559 and I was like, fuck that I'm going. 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:50.080 And I did and I'm happy that I did good. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.240 I know you've inspired me, and I want to go 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.400 on a little mommy daughter trip. I think that would 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:55.080 be nice. 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:55.360 Yeah. 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:57.840 I think it's important to connect with your kids, especially 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:00.000 as they get older. It's happening quickly and I realized 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:03.920 was like, as she's like becoming cooler and like having friends, 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:05.640 I'm like, oh, we don't want to hang out with me. 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.640 So I think to stay connected to your kid, you 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:10.440 have to kind of And it's it's hard for us 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:12.040 too because it's like, I don't want to do kids. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:13.640 Shit, I'm a grown ask woman. 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:14.600 But we didn't. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.800 I mean, we took cooking classes and like I'm you know, 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:20.160 it wasn't four kids. I mean there were some kids 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.640 in our last one, but it was it was just 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.320 fun to like learn something with her too, And like 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.000 we didn't really go to a lot of museums because 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:28.920 she was not she's not that age yet. Like I 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:30.880 tried and she was like I took her to the 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:32.360 door a museum in Paris. 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.080 I was like, it's fashion, It's gonna be so amazing, Christian. 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:36.920 I was like reading all the things and she was. 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:38.800 Like, where do you go to the park? 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:41.400 Yeah, pretty much. 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:44.280 But yes, well I'm glad. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.319 I'm glad you got to take that time for yourself 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:50.240 and regulate your nervous system and rest and spend time 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.480 with Iri before the school year starts, because you will 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.720 chry as soon as she closes the door when third 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:58.520 grade starts. Because that's what happened. I was totally fine. 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:03.240 I was like, oh yeah, okay, bute. It's like a 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:06.160 button was pushed. I was like tears. I was like, 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:07.079 what the fuck just happened? 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:09.680 I was fine, Oh, I know she starts next week, 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.160 so I'm scared. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:12.080 She has three binders. 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:14.400 Apparently she's been telling me for weeks I have three binders. 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:18.280 I'm like, okay, what does that mean. It means a 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:19.800 lot of homework that I'm gonna be happy to do. 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:24.040 Mister Tyler, shout out to the tutors of the world, Amen, 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:28.840 because this new Singapore math is some bullshit. And I know, 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.120 I know the moms know that Singapore math. That's what 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.880 it's called. This a new school math, and it's it's 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:38.280 an atrocity to humanity, particularly moms. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:40.520 Agreed. 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:43.120 Anyway, you want to get into it. 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:44.040 Yeah, let's get into it. 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:48.640 Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is the final week of 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:53.840 bad Ass Birthing August. We've brought a lot of amazing guests. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:56.120 But today and this week is a very special week 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.400 because it's also Black Maternal. 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:00.320 Black breastfeed lass. 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:01.360 I always fucked this. 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:06.280 Up Black Breastfeeding Week. And we have a very special guest. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:10.600 We have a birth and doula advocate. We have a 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:14.439 birth and doula expert. We have saying it wrong. 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:21.200 We have a found the founder of Mama Glow, Laithan Thomas. 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:25.200 Hi, Hi, welcome to the living room. 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.160 Yes, I can come sit closer. 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:31.480 I don't know how should I move it. 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:32.200 I think it's stop. 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:34.160 It just looks far from her mouth. 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:37.160 I'm here, Yeah, I'm here. 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:38.360 Late man. 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:39.640 Thanks for coming on our. 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:46.840 Thank you for coming on our show having me. We've 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:52.360 been all month. We've been interviewing different women in the space. 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:56.800 And I was telling you earlier that my friend Daphne, 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:58.880 who's also a friend of the show, and I've known 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.600 her for years. Check out Daphne's episode. It's called Return 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:05.200 of the Soft Woman. She when I got pregnant, she 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:06.320 told me you. 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.240 Need to talk to her, Lam, you need to talk to. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.120 Her, and I didn't fucking listen, and I should have 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:14.680 because I ended up giving birth to a hospital aka 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.880 Cedar Sinai Hospital, which I recently saw has like a 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:21.560 class actually civil rights saw suit for their you know, 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:24.560 their poor treatment of black women in birth, and I 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:26.880 had not. I don't want to say it wasn't like 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.040 the worst experience, but it was not a great experience there. 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:33.520 So I'm so glad to me I know you now, 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.360 I've met you now. But unfortunately I didn't listen to Daphne. 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.960 I'm sorry, Daphne. 0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:42.080 We're here now, We're here now, We're here now. Yeah. 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.360 So I'm just so intrigued with all all the work 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:44.880 that you do. 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:50.319 You have such a powerful business and powerful message and 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:54.520 you're really changing lives. So how did you get into 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:56.240 the work that you do? Like, what is the what 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:57.640 is the conception story? 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:04.839 Well, I'm from Oakland, California, and when I was about 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:08.880 four years old, my mother was pregnant with my sister, 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.640 My aunt was pregnant, and then my great aunt all 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:15.520 at the same time, do within a month of each 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:21.240 other in March April May, right, and you know at 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.480 that age, and you all know because you're closer to that. 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:25.080 Age than I am. 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:26.200 My son's twenty now. 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:29.120 But at that age you remember the height of a 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:31.920 four year old. It's kind of like around the belly height, right. 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.800 So I'm looking around and everything I see from the 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:37.640 advantage tooice is just these beautiful bellies, like you know, 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:42.080 expanding in front of me. And my mother was like 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:46.160 really into me being educated. So I had coloring books, 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:50.400 like Gray's Anatomy coloring book I had. There was a 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.320 show on PBS called My Mom's Having a Baby. 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:52.959 I was watching that. 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.440 I still remember the jingle for that show. I was 0:12:56.520 --> 0:13:01.400 watching just like all educational programming around like becoming. 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.400 A sibling and. 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:04.480 So yeah. 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.040 So I was just like really. 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:09.560 Dialed in and so much so that like the body 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.839 literacy piece, I was very serious felled because I was 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.120 like doing coloring books, right, so I could tell you 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:16.760 all the anatomy of the pelvis by like age four 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.520 and a half. Wow, and so and so when we 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:21.680 would be in the grocery store, my mom was like 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:22.360 so proud of this. 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:23.960 She was like, Yeah, we're in the store. 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:27.120 One time and someone's like, oh, your mother has a 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:28.800 baby in her Tell me. I was like, oh no, no, no, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:30.520 my mother has a baby in her universe is going 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.720 to come out of her vagina. So right, so that 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:35.959 was like the the you know, the the type of 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:37.160 education she was providing. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.480 And so fast forward to the birth. 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.280 You know, she had the baby. I was fascinated with 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.680 this process and were you at the did she have 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:48.719 a home birth? She had the baby in a hospital, 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:53.280 but the whole like lead up, like I understood everything 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:55.400 that was going to happen because my mom like explained everything, 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.360 and and then she explained when she came home like 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:02.520 how it was. And so my cousin and I we 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.760 had like cabbage patch dolls at the time, which like 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:09.720 total relic for those who weren't borne patch. Cabbage Patch 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:13.960 dolls were everything, okay, so we would like stuff them 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:16.280 under our shirts and pretend to deliver each other's babies, Me, 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:18.600 my cousin. Right, so we had like a whole idea 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.000 of what we thought birth was. And so fast forward. 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:22.920 Those were like the seeds planted for me, you know 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:26.240 about like you know, what birth could be, how fascinating 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.640 and incredible the body is and the magic and wisdom 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:34.280 and mystical experience that happens inside of our bodies that 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:37.000 see was planted then. And so then fast forward to 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:40.680 when my son I'm pregnant with my son, who's now 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:46.280 twenty twenty years ago. Think about what really twenty one 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:51.480 during the pregnancy, Think about the type of technology we had, 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:55.160 Like now we're really used to apps and social and 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.240 like none of this existed, by the way, people didn't 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:58.080 even text twenty. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.680 Years like your baby is the size of a RAS right. 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:04.000 All this we had websites like this right, which were 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.240 like very ugly and flexible, hard to navigate, and there 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.160 weren't like there weren't the tools and resources that we 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.760 have today. So I was like navigating this this experience 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.800 literally talking to people like hey, like with the best 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:20.640 practitioner for this and who's best practitioner for that thing? 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:23.920 And so I was like writing this down by hand, okay, 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.640 which would all become like my first book, Mama Glow. 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.359 All of these like kind of findings around my pregnancy 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:34.360 became that book. But in this time, there was not 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.120 the same you could navigate it in the same that 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:39.640 we do now, And so I had a you know, 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.600 like a sort of like signal go off, like hey, 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:44.640 like we could make this easier for people. 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:45.960 Being from California. 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.200 I wanted to do like a very natural I wanted 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.360 to do like a home like environment. 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:52.480 I didn't want to do a home. 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.760 Birth because where I lived with my son's father, if 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.160 you know anything about New York City, the house was 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.080 way too small. It was not happening, and I didn't 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.680 feel comfortable there. So there was a birth center. He 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.520 was living at too to Too West twenty third Street, 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.520 and there was a birth center on to to Too 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.040 West fourteenth. So the numerology for me was like all 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:15.040 the way lining up and where he was going to 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:19.560 be born. It was right next door to a club 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:22.400 that we used to go to called Nell's that became 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.480 Two Eyes, that became the Darby. So my son thinks 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.920 he was born in a nightclub and he became a DJ. 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:29.920 So like, all this is money, way he might be right. 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.080 So yeah, so that was like. 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:32.920 The whole thing, right. 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.080 So I so I get to deliver in this birth 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:39.120 center and I had you know, and I don't want 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:40.880 to get too deep into extented, we'll talk more, but 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:43.240 like I had this really transformative event and I had, 0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:46.120 you know, an out of body experience with a birth, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:50.640 and it was transcendent and at the time, I was like, 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.840 wait a minute, Like people don't talk about this. They 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:56.360 talk about like the pain, and they talk about like 0:16:56.960 --> 0:17:00.800 just birth being something that like incapacitates them or makes 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:04.600 them feel like less less powerful, And for me, I 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:08.400 felt more empowered. I felt like I stepped into this 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:10.919 other realm of myself. I felt my ego shed and 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:15.520 on the other side, this new woman emerges and I 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:19.040 felt like, you know, this new sense of power, you know, 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.960 And so I was like, oh yeah, Like nobody said 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:24.879 my ancestors were going to show up to the birth right. 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:29.159 And so my experience was one where it was so 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:34.680 transformative in a positive way that I felt compelled right 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.960 to move in the direction I was already doing women's health, 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:42.000 but really move in direction of service in birth work, 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:45.159 more specifically around doulah care. And I did not have 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:47.520 a doula present, but I did have my best friend 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.200 at the time who became my son's godmother, who's now 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:52.200 a really big obg I n in DC. 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:54.520 She was there, my son's. 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:54.920 Father was there. 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:57.359 I had like my midwife family members. It was like 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.520 a party, and my son's birth it was like too 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.919 many people. So I did not need a doula, but 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:05.120 I had to. And then I also had, like, you know, 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:11.440 this this transmission of ancestral wisdom and a knowledge transfer 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:14.320 that came through the ancestral plane in the birth. So 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.840 I felt accompanied, I felt covered, you know, So for me, 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:22.480 that's like what was the origin? Right, And within twenty 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.720 minutes of my son's birth, I said to everybody in 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:28.560 the room, I have to I have to help other 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:30.960 women through this. I have to help because nobody said 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:31.439 it would be this. 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:32.200 I help. 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:34.879 I have to help preserve this, this this moment for 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.880 people like whatever it is supposed to be for them, 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:38.000 but I have to help protect it. 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:39.800