1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: Ancestral wisdom and a knowledge transfer that came through the 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: ancestral plane in the birth. So I felt accompanied, I 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: felt covered, you know, So for me, that's like what 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: was the origin? Right, And within twenty minutes of my 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: son's birth, I said to everybody in the room, I 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,080 Speaker 1: have to I have to help other women through this. 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: I have to help because nobody said it would be this. 8 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: I have to help preserve this moment for people, like 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: whatever is supposed to be for them, but I have 10 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: to help protect it. And I knew that, and I 11 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: was able to say that lucidly while I was high 12 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,160 Speaker 1: after my son's birth right, which is a total high, 13 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: which we'll talk about more. But I felt this overwhelming 14 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: sense of euphoria when he was born, right, But I 15 00:00:41,479 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: was able to be lucid enough to say that, Yeah. 16 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. 17 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 3: I'm Erica and I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday. 18 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 4: Happy Wednesday, you guys. 19 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 3: This episode is sponsored by Honeypot, our famorite, famous, famous, favorite, 20 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: our famous and favorite wellness brand, Intimacy wellness brand. 21 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: We love Honeypot. 22 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 3: You've heard us talk about it, You've heard us share 23 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 3: on social and honestly, it's still hot as fuck out here. 24 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 3: I don't go anywhere without honeypot. I actually just came 25 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 3: back from Europe. I had honey pot in the bag. 26 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 3: I put it on every single toilet. I don't know 27 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 3: for me, like I literally have to travel with wipes 28 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 3: and I put them on every single toilet. 29 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 4: It's essential. 30 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 3: And I just love their wipes because they smell like sandalwood. 31 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 3: They have the sandalwood essence. They also have like a 32 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 3: lavender one. 33 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 5: They have a nice cucumber lo and it's like like 34 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 5: it makes me feel nostalgic. Remember like like que remember 35 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 5: melon from back in the day that everyone. 36 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: Had, is that from Math and Body Works? 37 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was like smelling it. I was like like 38 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 4: on the toilet, this reminds me of my child. And 39 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 4: it's black owned. I love that. 40 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 5: I love, like I love when I'm in my house 41 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 5: and I'm using my products, I'm like, that's that's made 42 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 5: by assistant. That's made by assistant, Like it makes me 43 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 5: feel like I'm well. 44 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 3: I also I love that, But I also like that 45 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 3: it's female founded and owned, because what other person would 46 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 3: know how to make products for our bodies? 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 5: Like why weren't readvocating for this sooner because I still 48 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 5: don't know who the fuck Johnson and Johnson is. 49 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 3: So make sure you check out their their line. They 50 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 3: have a bunch of different products. They have their ritual line, 51 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 3: which I love. They have lubricants and serums. 52 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 4: Stimulating serums that I really enjoy. 53 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 3: They also have boric acid to help regulate your pH 54 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 3: pH balance. So make sure you go to the honeypot 55 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 3: dot com and use our code GMBC twenty three for 56 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,080 Speaker 3: twenty five percent off. 57 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 2: That's a big ass discount. 58 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 4: The whole site. 59 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,399 Speaker 5: And they got all the things that you need, everything 60 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 5: your Yoni needs, they got it. 61 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 6: Amen. 62 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 5: Hallelujah, halleen. Two women known to feminine products. 63 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 2: How are you, my love? 64 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 4: I am good. I'm very good. 65 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 5: I'm you know, just chilling. School started. I'm a school 66 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 5: mom again. What do you guys know? Is my least 67 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 5: favorite part about being a mom is that I have 68 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 5: to wake up and take a child's school. Like I'm 69 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 5: in school and I thought i'd have more time, but 70 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 5: the summers just keep coming and going. 71 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 4: So I'm good. 72 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 5: She's in third grade now, which seems like a very 73 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 5: big age. Like the homework is more intense. So she's 74 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 5: like a little bit more like independent and like going 75 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 5: in her room and on her iPad to like talk 76 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 5: to her friends, like I'm just I'm on the phone. 77 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't care. 78 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 3: I had like her iPad went off like a text 79 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 3: and I was like who. 80 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 2: It was like multiple texts? Who are you talking to? 81 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 3: She's like, oh, I'm in a group tech. I'm in 82 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 3: a group chat with my friends. And I was like 83 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 3: which ones? And she's like why And I was like why, 84 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 3: hold up, give me this, give me that cud Do 85 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 3: you mean why? She's like, Mom, it's just Noah and 86 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 3: Carter and me and Luna. I'm like, all right, well, 87 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 3: what are you all talking about. I'm gonna look when 88 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 3: you're sleeping. 89 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 4: I know you know what. 90 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 5: Because Luna's been like sending me tiktoks like you and 91 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 5: Orlando should do this, And she's like, oh she sent 92 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 5: me a TikTok. 93 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 4: Oh my god, I'm like a little girl. 94 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 5: And she's like looking on she's like acting all nice 95 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 5: and it's like how I act at my dad with 96 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 5: my with my dad's family. And then she's like going 97 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 5: like going crazy. She's like how I acting out with 98 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 5: my mom. I was like, so you know you've been 99 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 5: showing your ass around me. 100 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 3: Well, there's another TikTok where they say, you know what, 101 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 3: the abbreviation for m O mom stands for made of money, 102 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 3: and so she like won't let that go at all, 103 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 3: And honestly, it's true, because you know, I just got 104 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,039 Speaker 3: back from Europe and I spent every fucking dollar that 105 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 3: I have. 106 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 2: You eat top Ramen for the night. 107 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 3: I was gonna say two weeks because the euro is 108 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 3: not the US dollar is fucking trash over there, and 109 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 3: they charged for every fucking thing, every part I had 110 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 3: to because I didn't check in early. Because I didn't 111 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 3: check in before I arrived at the airport, they charged 112 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 3: me one hundred and fifty dollars. That was more expensive 113 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 3: than my plane ticket. 114 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 4: So if you were to just checked in, they said. 115 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 3: They have a policy you have to check in before. 116 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 3: And I was like, how would I supposed to know that? 117 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 3: They said, we sent an email and I was like, what, Yeah, 118 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 3: So did. 119 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 4: You enjoy your trip? 120 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 2: I did? 121 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 4: It seems lovely. 122 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 5: It's like photos, your professional photos, and it looks like 123 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 5: you're cooking classes. 124 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 4: I know, I was jealous. 125 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 3: I was I was keeping our tribe at Patreon on 126 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 3: Patreon updated. I haven't really shared much on social so 127 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,799 Speaker 3: if you're on Patreon, make sure you go check out 128 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 3: all of the pictures, all of my little journal diary 129 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 3: entries about my trip in Europe. I went to Berlin, 130 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 3: I went to Venice. I went to Chink with Da, 131 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 3: which is like this, it's like the Italian Riviera. I 132 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: went to Florence and then I ended in Paris, and. 133 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 2: It was a lot. 134 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 3: I overpacked, so I was lugging like a big ass 135 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 3: suitcase up train stairs that had no elevators. Well, it 136 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 3: was me and her, and she doesn't carry shit, so 137 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,280 Speaker 3: it was just me. So we had one big luggage 138 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 3: with all of our stuff and I had two little 139 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 3: carry ons. And I did overpack, yes I did, but 140 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 3: I didn't consider like taking the train and then like 141 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 3: not being an old country and not having elevators, and 142 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: also people are rude, like they see me with my 143 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,839 Speaker 3: kid and no one's helping me, Like I'm just like struggling. 144 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 2: Up these stairs. 145 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 3: It's also like ninety five degrees. 146 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 5: So basically you're telling me Chilvy is also dead in 147 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 5: the UK. 148 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 3: I threw on my shoulder I've been in pain for 149 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 3: like a week and a half. But other than that, 150 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 3: other than that, it. 151 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 2: Was really good. I feel like me and I re reconnected. 152 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 3: I feel like, I don't know, like are just we 153 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 3: just I really tried to be as present as I could. 154 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 3: I really tried to stay off my phone as much 155 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 3: as I could, and and it was we just like 156 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 3: went to the park a lot, which I don't really 157 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 3: do that here a lot, Like she asks me to 158 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 3: go and I'm like, but for some reason there I was. 159 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 2: I was all about it. 160 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 3: So I was like, you know, I really need to 161 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 3: adopt these practices here and just we talk about this 162 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 3: all the time. Just being present obviously, and you know, 163 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: when you're a business owner and just doing a thousand 164 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 3: things that it could feel really impossible. But it was 165 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 3: really really special, and I am dedicated to doing it 166 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 3: every year if I can maybe maybe not, maybe I'll 167 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 3: go to like a cheaper country. I was really like 168 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 3: stepping into my bougie era this year. And I was 169 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 3: really adamant about going to Europe because I hadn't been 170 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 3: in a few years. And we just worked so hard 171 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,559 Speaker 3: and I was like, fuck that I'm going. 172 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: And I did and I'm happy that I did good. 173 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 5: I know you've inspired me, and I want to go 174 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 5: on a little mommy daughter trip. I think that would 175 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 5: be nice. 176 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 177 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 5: I think it's important to connect with your kids, especially 178 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 5: as they get older. It's happening quickly and I realized 179 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 5: was like, as she's like becoming cooler and like having friends, 180 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, we don't want to hang out with me. 181 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 5: So I think to stay connected to your kid, you 182 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 5: have to kind of And it's it's hard for us 183 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 5: too because it's like, I don't want to do kids. 184 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 4: Shit, I'm a grown ask woman. 185 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 2: But we didn't. 186 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 3: I mean, we took cooking classes and like I'm you know, 187 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 3: it wasn't four kids. I mean there were some kids 188 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 3: in our last one, but it was it was just 189 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 3: fun to like learn something with her too, And like 190 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 3: we didn't really go to a lot of museums because 191 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 3: she was not she's not that age yet. Like I 192 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 3: tried and she was like I took her to the 193 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 3: door a museum in Paris. 194 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 2: I was like, it's fashion, It's gonna be so amazing, Christian. 195 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 2: I was like reading all the things and she was. 196 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: Like, where do you go to the park? 197 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much. 198 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 4: But yes, well I'm glad. 199 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 5: I'm glad you got to take that time for yourself 200 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 5: and regulate your nervous system and rest and spend time 201 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 5: with Iri before the school year starts, because you will 202 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 5: chry as soon as she closes the door when third 203 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 5: grade starts. Because that's what happened. I was totally fine. 204 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 5: I was like, oh yeah, okay, bute. It's like a 205 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 5: button was pushed. I was like tears. I was like, 206 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,079 Speaker 5: what the fuck just happened? 207 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 3: I was fine, Oh, I know she starts next week, 208 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: so I'm scared. 209 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 2: She has three binders. 210 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 3: Apparently she's been telling me for weeks I have three binders. 211 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, what does that mean. It means a 212 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 3: lot of homework that I'm gonna be happy to do. 213 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 5: Mister Tyler, shout out to the tutors of the world, Amen, 214 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 5: because this new Singapore math is some bullshit. And I know, 215 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 5: I know the moms know that Singapore math. That's what 216 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 5: it's called. This a new school math, and it's it's 217 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 5: an atrocity to humanity, particularly moms. 218 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 2: Agreed. 219 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 4: Anyway, you want to get into it. 220 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get into it. 221 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 5: Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is the final week of 222 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 5: bad Ass Birthing August. We've brought a lot of amazing guests. 223 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 5: But today and this week is a very special week 224 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 5: because it's also Black Maternal. 225 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 2: Black breastfeed lass. 226 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 4: I always fucked this. 227 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 5: Up Black Breastfeeding Week. And we have a very special guest. 228 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 5: We have a birth and doula advocate. We have a 229 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 5: birth and doula expert. We have saying it wrong. 230 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 3: We have a found the founder of Mama Glow, Laithan Thomas. 231 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 4: Hi, Hi, welcome to the living room. 232 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 6: Yes, I can come sit closer. 233 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 2: I don't know how should I move it. 234 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 4: I think it's stop. 235 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 2: It just looks far from her mouth. 236 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 6: I'm here, Yeah, I'm here. 237 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 4: Late man. 238 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 2: Thanks for coming on our. 239 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 3: Thank you for coming on our show having me. We've 240 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 3: been all month. We've been interviewing different women in the space. 241 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 3: And I was telling you earlier that my friend Daphne, 242 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 3: who's also a friend of the show, and I've known 243 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 3: her for years. Check out Daphne's episode. It's called Return 244 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 3: of the Soft Woman. She when I got pregnant, she 245 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 3: told me you. 246 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 2: Need to talk to her, Lam, you need to talk to. 247 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 3: Her, and I didn't fucking listen, and I should have 248 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 3: because I ended up giving birth to a hospital aka 249 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 3: Cedar Sinai Hospital, which I recently saw has like a 250 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 3: class actually civil rights saw suit for their you know, 251 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 3: their poor treatment of black women in birth, and I 252 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 3: had not. I don't want to say it wasn't like 253 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 3: the worst experience, but it was not a great experience there. 254 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 3: So I'm so glad to me I know you now, 255 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 3: I've met you now. But unfortunately I didn't listen to Daphne. 256 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Daphne. 257 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,080 Speaker 6: We're here now, We're here now, We're here now. Yeah. 258 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 2: So I'm just so intrigued with all all the work 259 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 2: that you do. 260 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 3: You have such a powerful business and powerful message and 261 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 3: you're really changing lives. So how did you get into 262 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 3: the work that you do? Like, what is the what 263 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 3: is the conception story? 264 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:04,839 Speaker 1: Well, I'm from Oakland, California, and when I was about 265 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: four years old, my mother was pregnant with my sister, 266 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 1: My aunt was pregnant, and then my great aunt all 267 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: at the same time, do within a month of each 268 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: other in March April May, right, and you know at 269 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: that age, and you all know because you're closer to that. 270 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 4: Age than I am. 271 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 6: My son's twenty now. 272 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: But at that age you remember the height of a 273 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 1: four year old. It's kind of like around the belly height, right. 274 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: So I'm looking around and everything I see from the 275 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: advantage tooice is just these beautiful bellies, like you know, 276 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: expanding in front of me. And my mother was like 277 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 1: really into me being educated. So I had coloring books, 278 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: like Gray's Anatomy coloring book I had. There was a 279 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: show on PBS called My Mom's Having a Baby. 280 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 6: I was watching that. 281 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 1: I still remember the jingle for that show. I was 282 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: watching just like all educational programming around like becoming. 283 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 2: A sibling and. 284 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 6: So yeah. 285 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 2: So I was just like really. 286 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: Dialed in and so much so that like the body 287 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,839 Speaker 1: literacy piece, I was very serious felled because I was 288 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: like doing coloring books, right, so I could tell you 289 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: all the anatomy of the pelvis by like age four 290 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: and a half. Wow, and so and so when we 291 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 1: would be in the grocery store, my mom was like 292 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: so proud of this. 293 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 6: She was like, Yeah, we're in the store. 294 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: One time and someone's like, oh, your mother has a 295 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: baby in her Tell me. I was like, oh no, no, no, 296 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: my mother has a baby in her universe is going 297 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: to come out of her vagina. So right, so that 298 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 1: was like the the you know, the the type of 299 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: education she was providing. 300 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 6: And so fast forward to the birth. 301 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 1: You know, she had the baby. I was fascinated with 302 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 1: this process and were you at the did she have 303 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:48,719 Speaker 1: a home birth? She had the baby in a hospital, 304 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: but the whole like lead up, like I understood everything 305 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: that was going to happen because my mom like explained everything, 306 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: and and then she explained when she came home like 307 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: how it was. And so my cousin and I we 308 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: had like cabbage patch dolls at the time, which like 309 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: total relic for those who weren't borne patch. Cabbage Patch 310 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 1: dolls were everything, okay, so we would like stuff them 311 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: under our shirts and pretend to deliver each other's babies, Me, 312 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: my cousin. Right, so we had like a whole idea 313 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: of what we thought birth was. And so fast forward. 314 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: Those were like the seeds planted for me, you know 315 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: about like you know, what birth could be, how fascinating 316 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: and incredible the body is and the magic and wisdom 317 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: and mystical experience that happens inside of our bodies that 318 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: see was planted then. And so then fast forward to 319 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: when my son I'm pregnant with my son, who's now 320 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: twenty twenty years ago. Think about what really twenty one 321 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: during the pregnancy, Think about the type of technology we had, 322 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: Like now we're really used to apps and social and 323 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: like none of this existed, by the way, people didn't 324 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: even text twenty. 325 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 2: Years like your baby is the size of a RAS right. 326 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 1: All this we had websites like this right, which were 327 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: like very ugly and flexible, hard to navigate, and there 328 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: weren't like there weren't the tools and resources that we 329 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: have today. So I was like navigating this this experience 330 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: literally talking to people like hey, like with the best 331 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: practitioner for this and who's best practitioner for that thing? 332 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: And so I was like writing this down by hand, okay, 333 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: which would all become like my first book, Mama Glow. 334 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,359 Speaker 1: All of these like kind of findings around my pregnancy 335 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: became that book. But in this time, there was not 336 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: the same you could navigate it in the same that 337 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: we do now, And so I had a you know, 338 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: like a sort of like signal go off, like hey, 339 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: like we could make this easier for people. 340 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 6: Being from California. 341 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: I wanted to do like a very natural I wanted 342 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: to do like a home like environment. 343 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 6: I didn't want to do a home. 344 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 1: Birth because where I lived with my son's father, if 345 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: you know anything about New York City, the house was 346 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: way too small. It was not happening, and I didn't 347 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: feel comfortable there. So there was a birth center. He 348 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: was living at too to Too West twenty third Street, 349 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: and there was a birth center on to to Too 350 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: West fourteenth. So the numerology for me was like all 351 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: the way lining up and where he was going to 352 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: be born. It was right next door to a club 353 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 1: that we used to go to called Nell's that became 354 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: Two Eyes, that became the Darby. So my son thinks 355 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: he was born in a nightclub and he became a DJ. 356 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: So like, all this is money, way he might be right. 357 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: So yeah, so that was like. 358 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 2: The whole thing, right. 359 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: So I so I get to deliver in this birth 360 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 1: center and I had you know, and I don't want 361 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: to get too deep into extented, we'll talk more, but 362 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 1: like I had this really transformative event and I had, 363 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: you know, an out of body experience with a birth, 364 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: and it was transcendent and at the time, I was like, 365 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: wait a minute, Like people don't talk about this. They 366 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: talk about like the pain, and they talk about like 367 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: just birth being something that like incapacitates them or makes 368 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: them feel like less less powerful, And for me, I 369 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: felt more empowered. I felt like I stepped into this 370 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,919 Speaker 1: other realm of myself. I felt my ego shed and 371 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: on the other side, this new woman emerges and I 372 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: felt like, you know, this new sense of power, you know, 373 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh yeah, Like nobody said 374 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 1: my ancestors were going to show up to the birth right. 375 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: And so my experience was one where it was so 376 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: transformative in a positive way that I felt compelled right 377 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: to move in the direction I was already doing women's health, 378 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: but really move in direction of service in birth work, 379 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 1: more specifically around doulah care. And I did not have 380 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: a doula present, but I did have my best friend 381 00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 1: at the time who became my son's godmother, who's now 382 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 1: a really big obg I n in DC. 383 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 6: She was there, my son's. 384 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 4: Father was there. 385 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,359 Speaker 1: I had like my midwife family members. It was like 386 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: a party, and my son's birth it was like too 387 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: many people. So I did not need a doula, but 388 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 1: I had to. And then I also had, like, you know, 389 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: this this transmission of ancestral wisdom and a knowledge transfer 390 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: that came through the ancestral plane in the birth. So 391 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: I felt accompanied, I felt covered, you know, So for me, 392 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: that's like what was the origin? Right, And within twenty 393 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: minutes of my son's birth, I said to everybody in 394 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: the room, I have to I have to help other 395 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 1: women through this. I have to help because nobody said 396 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 1: it would be this. 397 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 2: I help. 398 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: I have to help preserve this, this this moment for 399 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 1: people like whatever it is supposed to be for them, 400 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: but I have to help protect it. 401 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 2: And I knew that, and I. 402 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: Was able to say that lucidly while I was high 403 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: after my son's birth, right, which is. 404 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 6: A total high, which we'll talk about more. 405 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: But I felt this overwhelming sense of euphoria when he 406 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,440 Speaker 1: was born, right, But I was able to be lucid 407 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:56,199 Speaker 1: enough to say that, yeah. 408 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 4: Wow, that's amazing. 409 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 5: You know, I never always referred to birth as a 410 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 5: rite of passage. It is, and granted my you know, 411 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 5: I was in a hospital. I didn't want to be 412 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 5: able to do it at home. It didn't work out 413 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 5: that way. But I've never heard anyone say, like my 414 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 5: no one told me my ancestors are going to be present, 415 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 5: and like that makes so much sense, right, Like we're 416 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 5: literally opening up the portal. Yeah, so of course we 417 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 5: would have easier contact with the other side. Yes, but 418 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 5: we don't even think that way because you know, there's 419 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 5: always there's all this fear about the pain that we're 420 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,880 Speaker 5: going to So there's all we were just like thinking about, Fuck, 421 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 5: this is gonna hurt. 422 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 4: I I be able to get through this? Am I 423 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 4: gonna make it? 424 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:31,920 Speaker 5: But it's like you don't really realize like this is 425 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,199 Speaker 5: an opportunity to kind of have those clear downloads and 426 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 5: have that that that plane of conversation with your ancestors 427 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 5: and to really be like, YO, help me out, you know. 428 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 5: But like that's so beautiful even then? Is it because 429 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 5: you were in like in the health space that it 430 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 5: even dawned on you to have a birth at a 431 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 5: birthing center, Because twenty one years ago, I could imagine 432 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 5: that's not very popular. 433 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I knew I wanted to have and 434 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: out of hospital experience because I'm not a person who 435 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: likes hospitals and so and when I was going for 436 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: my care Prenatalie. I was seeing I went to Columbia 437 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: Presbyterian because I was like, oh, I get I went 438 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: to Columbia. I guess I should go there, you know. 439 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: And it was I was like this care is backwards, 440 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,560 Speaker 1: like they're not. And I had an amazing Muslim midwife 441 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: we called her Umi. She was awesome, but I was like, 442 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 1: so and she was telling me how stuff was going 443 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,159 Speaker 1: to go down. I was like, this is not my 444 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 1: this is not my place. And so my son's father 445 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: we were walking across fourteenth. He's like, we should pop 446 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: into this place. And I was like, you think they 447 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 1: would take our insurance? Like you think He's like, let's 448 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: just go in. And so we went inside and they 449 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: were like, come do a like a basically kind of 450 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 1: like an orientation kind of and like open house kind 451 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 1: of thing. So we went to the open house and 452 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 1: then they just basically share with you how they run 453 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 1: the birth center. And it's like you have full autonomy, 454 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 1: you know, and sovereignty. 455 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 6: So you walk in. 456 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 1: When you do yours, you take your own weight, you 457 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 1: do your own you test your urine so you'd like 458 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: pee over a strip and then you basically check to 459 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: see like if there's protein present and things like that, 460 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: you report it on your notes by yourself, and then 461 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: and you take your own weight and record that and 462 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 1: then you I'm trying to think that for something else 463 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: you would do, but those are the main two things 464 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: you would do. And then the midwife would come into 465 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 1: the room and see you, and you would be looking 466 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: at your chart. You had access to your chart anytime. 467 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,280 Speaker 1: I could like be in the world and be like, oh, 468 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: I want to see what's in my chart, and I 469 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: could walk in there, go behind the console, grab my. 470 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 2: Chart, read it. 471 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 1: They gave you a full copy of all your medical 472 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: records as soon as you had your baby as well, 473 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: so it was like it wasn't no, like it's like, 474 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 1: it's my information. Why is it taking me three weeks 475 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: to get like medical records? 476 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 4: Right? 477 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: So it was just like full openness and transparency. They 478 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 1: make you do twenty one hours of education before you 479 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: deliver there so that you actually are not in a 480 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: space of being afraid, right, So, because if you don't 481 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: have the education or you don't have the support, then 482 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: you don't realize that, Yeah, birth is an opportunity to 483 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: hold hands with God, to dance, right, and to be 484 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: in a cosmic dance, to be in the space of 485 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: where your body actually creates all of the medicine that 486 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: you need right to get you through. And as you said, 487 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: birthing rights really allow us the opportunity to separate from 488 00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 1: our normal station in life, right, to pull away, right 489 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 1: to prepare to actually undergo transformation. Right, So move from 490 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 1: the preliminal space to the liminal and then postliminal when 491 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:38,120 Speaker 1: we come on. 492 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,640 Speaker 6: The other side. 493 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 1: So you literally do go through an arc that is 494 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 1: about progression and growth and also transformation. It is like 495 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 1: how we see any life cycle. Like butterflies too, right. 496 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 1: You see how they start as caterpillars, right, and then 497 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: one day they begin to meditate on what it would 498 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: be to become and they stop eating and they spin 499 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: a chrysalis and they stay there and they literally dissolve 500 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: right symbolically but also also physically right, physically and symbolically 501 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 1: resolve a dissolve, and then something else is spun inside right, 502 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 1: and something else is created, and then something else emerges. Right, 503 00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: And so they move from that from one plane to 504 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: the next. And if you see where they were when 505 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: they started, it's nothing like they were on the other side. 506 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,360 Speaker 1: It's like they have something else, It's not just wings. 507 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,959 Speaker 1: When they emerge, they have something else too, And so 508 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 1: same for us when we emerge from this person who 509 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: is moving through their regular station in life and then 510 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: feels now the calling to birth. It's time, right, And 511 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,159 Speaker 1: it's really the mother and the baby's spirit that decides 512 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: when it's time to be born, right, And so then 513 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: you feel this overcoming you. You feel that it's time, 514 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: so you start to move out. So people do things 515 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,160 Speaker 1: like take maternity leave, or they start cleaning. We see 516 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: things like like the nest thing, right, you start cleaning 517 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: everything like crazy and right right, that is the body 518 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: preparing to separate, right, preparing to separate. And then because 519 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,399 Speaker 1: you can't relax if things, if you don't feel like 520 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: everything's in place right, So then you can separate and 521 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: you can actually go into this spiritual plane where all 522 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 1: of that work is happening, where you dissolve an ego 523 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 1: and this new version of yourself is ready to emerge 524 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: and carry you to the other side. But while you're here, 525 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 1: right in the liminal space, you have an opportunity to 526 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: access healing, to access wisdom, to touch and reach back 527 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 1: and grab things that you need to carry to the 528 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 1: other side, right, which we call sankofa reaching back right. 529 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: And so we so we grab those things we need 530 00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:58,800 Speaker 1: and we carry them to the other side. 531 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 6: And and with the us. 532 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: We're like we're like covered, right, we have actual like caretakers, 533 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: we have like our ancestors who carry us to the 534 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 1: other side. And what is happening that disrupts this process 535 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: is our current medical model, our current birthing practices and 536 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,199 Speaker 1: birthing culture in the West and particularly in the United States, 537 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 1: disrupts all of the systems that actually support us taking 538 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: having birthing rights right. And so so for many people, 539 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 1: instead of feeling safety and dignity and belonging and transcendence 540 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:41,120 Speaker 1: and self discovery and opening and pleasure and all that's 541 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: available to us that's actually supposed to be available to us, 542 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: we feel afraid. We feel you know, indignity, we suffer, 543 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: we feel unheard, we feel like you know, we feel pain. 544 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:56,399 Speaker 6: Right. 545 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: And so what I t and help people to connect 546 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,919 Speaker 1: to is that living memory, right, like that this is 547 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: actually in ourselves. And this is also we know how 548 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: to birth, but also we know how to caretake right 549 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 1: as a community, we know how to take care of 550 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: each other. If you're birthing, I know how to show up, 551 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 1: just like you know how. We all know how to 552 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 1: show up. And it's our right, it's our birthright to 553 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 1: have that support and to feel that safety net. And 554 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: what is being denied us it's not. You know, we're 555 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 1: in a maternal health crisis in this country. But what 556 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,159 Speaker 1: I hate that we focus on so much is like 557 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: we want people like we want black women to survive. 558 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,479 Speaker 1: I want black women to fucking thrive through birthing, not 559 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,119 Speaker 1: I want them to feel like when they come out 560 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 1: like stomping their feet and shouting and laughing and feeling 561 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: whole and not feeling like something was taken away, which 562 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: so many of us feel. And we can't get that. 563 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: That is, you only have one birthday. The rest are anniversaries. 564 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: So we have to get birth right. And we deserve 565 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 1: to birth in sanctity and to feel safety and dignity 566 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: and to be seen in our power as we become mothers. 567 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: We deserve that we are owed that. And so what 568 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,199 Speaker 1: is happening right now is not just horrifying because it 569 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: means that many of us don't make it out alive, 570 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 1: but also those of us who survive, look at what 571 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,479 Speaker 1: it does because how you birth also you carry that 572 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: experience into how you live. And so until we can 573 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,680 Speaker 1: unpack the pain, you know of what we carry from 574 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: the morning of an experience that was denied us or 575 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: that we didn't have, is that many of us don't 576 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: have the opportunity to cry. 577 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 4: I know, I. 578 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 3: Feel really emotional because I'm like, wow, I really did 579 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 3: fuck up. 580 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,919 Speaker 4: I should have called you. 581 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:02,480 Speaker 3: I didn't have that experience, and I had everything opposite 582 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,920 Speaker 3: of that, and I did feel robbed, and I still 583 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:10,919 Speaker 3: feel obviously hurt by my experience, and that is not 584 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,280 Speaker 3: I did not have that transformational experience. I wanted that 585 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 3: like my Intuitively I knew that that's what I was 586 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 3: capable of, but I was denied that. I was told 587 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 3: I was wrong over and over again. And then like, 588 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 3: you know, it's the same story. Like people listening right now, 589 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 3: you've been through this exact story, maybe even worse than me, 590 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 3: and hearing like the power and the beauty of what 591 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 3: birth is like. I don't know if I'll ever experience 592 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 3: that again. I don't know if I'm going to have 593 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 3: another child again. 594 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 2: And you know I. 595 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 4: Am. 596 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 3: I love my baby and I love. I'm happy that 597 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 3: she's healthy. But that's really what they say, is like, 598 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 3: as long as they're healthy, that's all that matters. It's 599 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 3: just gaslighting, by the way, and that's and that's literally 600 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 3: what I was fed over and over again when ever 601 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 3: I shared what my wants were and my needs were, 602 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:06,400 Speaker 3: and that I was selfish and. 603 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 5: That all you want is a healthy baby. All we 604 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 5: want out of this is a healthy baby. 605 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 1: That's gaslighting because if I say to you, well, you 606 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: know at least this, it's like, but what about what 607 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: I feel? What about how it was made to feel? 608 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 1: It's okay, obviously we're happy a baby is safe, but 609 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 1: how you were made to feel in the process matters, 610 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 1: because why tears are coming now is because how you 611 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: were made to feel in the process, that you were 612 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: not seen right, that you were not held in your vulnerability. 613 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: And so if someone had honored you, imagine if you 614 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: had the outcome that you had. 615 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 6: But along the. 616 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: Way, people checked in and looked in your eyes and 617 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 1: laid on hands and asked if you were okay, and 618 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,239 Speaker 1: what could we do to make it more comfortable? And 619 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: are you okay now? And is everything better? And how 620 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: are you feeling and is this enough? And like just 621 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: little things is a temperature? 622 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 6: Okay? Would you like a blanket? Can I just wipe 623 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 6: your tears? 624 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 4: Right? 625 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 6: Can I give you some water? Do you want tea? 626 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: Like if they were just kind, even if the outcome right, 627 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: if you weren't going to change the outcome, if the 628 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: things that happened along the way, if the way you 629 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: were treated along the way right, because how what you're 630 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: recalling is treatment right. And so we internalize how we're 631 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: made to feel, which is why so many of us, 632 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: if we think about like our childhoods and things that 633 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: we're resolving as adults or trying to resolve as adults, 634 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: it was how somebody made us feel. Somebody says something 635 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 1: and it sat inside and now we're working it out 636 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: as adults. 637 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:39,880 Speaker 4: Right, So it's like. 638 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: That the feeling and what I seek to protect is 639 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: actually your memory, like the memory of the birth experience. 640 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: To me is what a doula's job is is to 641 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 1: protect the memory so that when you tell the story, 642 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 1: I am concerned with how you would tell the story, 643 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 1: Like that's actually my job, not just obviously to make 644 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: sure everything goes well. And you know, and doula for 645 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: those who want to know, because I know a lot 646 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 1: of you have been listening all month about birth, badass birthing, 647 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 1: so I'm sure you're aware. But doulah's are non clinical 648 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: care providers providing emotional support and physical support and education 649 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: and advocacy and partner support if you're a partner present. 650 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: But also how I see it is that we are 651 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: also keepers of your birth memory, and so we need 652 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 1: to be thinking about how to design a space and 653 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 1: a safety net and a container for you to have 654 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: a transcendent experience. 655 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 2: But also. 656 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: And also we are there to think through how you 657 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 1: will come on to the other side and talk about 658 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: this experience, how you will share your birth story. I'm 659 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: concerned with that, and so for me, I would be thinking, 660 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 1: you know, in working with you all, like okay, talking 661 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 1: through your desires and wishes and also your fears and 662 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:12,000 Speaker 1: all these things, and designing a space right and tools 663 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: that you could be using to help carry you through 664 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,719 Speaker 1: a process. And then even if we have an experience, 665 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: it is not go as planned. Also, processing the birth 666 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: experience is very important, right Coming on the other side 667 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: and actually having adequate space to emotionally process is so 668 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: key and that's also denied us because like you said, 669 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: it's well, at least baby is healthy. So let's move on, 670 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: pump up the breast milk and right, like it's just 671 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: like's keep on moving, get out, Yeah, let's keep it 672 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: moving instead of wait a minute, a mother was just born. Right, 673 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: And so if we think about how we treat babies, 674 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: we don't leave them alone. We pick them up, we're 675 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: feeding them every to hour, changing diapers. Like somebody's always 676 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 1: with an infant. They are never left alone. Somebody should 677 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: always be with you in idiot after care. You should 678 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 1: be not just observed by a physician. You need to 679 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 1: be with community, and you need to be in a 680 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: safe space where you can process and eat and rest 681 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: and reflect and right and move through the postpartum rights. Right, 682 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: that's also being denied. So because we have one in 683 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: four women going back to work ten days after having 684 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: a baby in this country, we not get in that space, right, 685 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: And then we have people who had babies in a 686 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 1: pandemic isolated, right, we didn't get that space. So it's 687 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,240 Speaker 1: very important what you're surfacing now because maybe you weren't 688 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: able to do it then, right, And it's important that 689 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:49,719 Speaker 1: you're making space for these conversations because it's healing community. 690 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 1: It's healing people who are listening, but it's also like 691 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:56,560 Speaker 1: a gift for you, right to like surface up the 692 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 1: emotions and the. 693 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 6: Yeah and the and. 694 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 1: The uh, the raw you know feelings right that maybe 695 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,359 Speaker 1: the right people weren't there to tend to, but we're 696 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: in community now and so we can hold you. 697 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 4: Thank you, yeah, thank you. 698 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,799 Speaker 5: I'm so grateful for your your perspective, like just you 699 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 5: sharing in that way, because with like, while you were sharing, 700 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 5: I'm just like, duh, you know, Like birth is a 701 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 5: spiritual experience, absolutely, and we've obviously medicalized it so much 702 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,319 Speaker 5: that I think unfortunately it's like the gas lighting is 703 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:39,800 Speaker 5: so severe, especially in the United States, is that it begins. 704 00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 5: It's the disempowerment from pregnancy to birth is really designed 705 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 5: to make women shut the fuck up. It's really designed 706 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 5: for you not to even think that it's supposed to 707 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 5: be that. It's designed so that you don't understand your 708 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 5: power when you leave, because it's easier to control a 709 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 5: woman who's not empowered. And like I didn't even think 710 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 5: about that, Like when you're discussing how you can go 711 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 5: into your birthing center and grab your chart and see 712 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 5: what the fuck they're writing about you. I'm thinking, what 713 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 5: the fuck did they write on that goddamn folder that 714 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:12,919 Speaker 5: I've never seen? 715 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:15,880 Speaker 4: Why are you holding? Can you turn that bitch around? 716 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 4: What is on that paper? 717 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:18,480 Speaker 6: Yeah? 718 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,320 Speaker 5: But it's like we are so accustomed to a certain 719 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,120 Speaker 5: type of treatment. 720 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 4: We're so accustomed to line trust well yeah, and we're. 721 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,399 Speaker 5: So accustomed to just saying okay, oh well, oh, only 722 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,520 Speaker 5: my baby's supposed to be healthy. Like it's like the 723 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 5: beginning of as soon as you give birth, like, oh 724 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 5: where's your baby at? Like, fuck, you don't mind the 725 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 5: fact that I ushered the baby through. But it's like 726 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 5: the the the grooming of your disconnection with yourself. Yes, 727 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 5: and it begins so early, and they're like, we know better, 728 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 5: you don't. It's like a training and forgetting your intuition. 729 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 5: And the craziest part is is like there's nothing, there's 730 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,479 Speaker 5: no role needing of your intuition and your power more 731 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:03,200 Speaker 5: than being a mother. So when you begin the journey 732 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 5: that way, it makes you feel insecure in becoming a mother, 733 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,239 Speaker 5: and it makes you be like, maybe stay in a 734 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,359 Speaker 5: relationship that doesn't serve you anymore. 735 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,160 Speaker 4: Because you're like, okay, because you've already. 736 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,320 Speaker 5: Just laid down and let it, let it happen to you, 737 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,400 Speaker 5: you know. And it's just like, even I'm thinking about you, 738 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 5: and you're like, Adula is a shaman. You are spiritually 739 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,880 Speaker 5: ushering me through a spiritual experience. And it's like, just 740 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:33,320 Speaker 5: like people travel to Peru to go get go do ayahuasca. 741 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,319 Speaker 4: Or whatever they're doing over there. You know. 742 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,560 Speaker 5: You You're like, I want to be with someone who 743 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 5: knows what they're doing, because this is a spiritual experience 744 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,320 Speaker 5: that I'm you know, investing in because I'm trying to 745 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 5: get a certain result. But birth is that spiritual experience, 746 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,680 Speaker 5: you know what I mean. The Dula is that shaman, 747 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,320 Speaker 5: and like your birthplace is the altar. 748 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,160 Speaker 1: But I want to add to that, you are the shaman. 749 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:59,480 Speaker 1: You are the shamans. You are the shaman. Let that 750 00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,320 Speaker 1: sit in there for a second. You are the shaman. 751 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: Thank you Latham. You guys, there is so much more 752 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,359 Speaker 1: to this episode. If you want to hear the rest 753 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,320 Speaker 1: of this episode, it's about forty five minutes longer. 754 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 2: Head over to Patreon. 755 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,560 Speaker 7: Now, you do not want to miss all the gems, 756 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 7: all of the knowledge drop by Latham and just more sharing, 757 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 7: more honesty and if you feel like this episode resonates 758 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,800 Speaker 7: with you now, I want to encourage you to please 759 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 7: please go to Patreon right now and listen to the 760 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 7: rest of this episode. Patreon dot com backslash Good Moms, 761 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 7: Bad Choices. The link is in this episode description. Thank you, 762 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 7: Thank you Latham for this true, true reminder of our power. 763 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 7: So let's wrap up this episode from here. 764 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 2: Urgency and efficiency. 765 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:56,799 Speaker 8: Urgency Inefficiency, Yeah, yeah, yes, well Latham, can you thank 766 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 8: you so much for coming on our show and taking 767 00:37:59,200 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 8: the time. 768 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,160 Speaker 2: To chat with us. Can you tell our tribe where 769 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:02,839 Speaker 2: they can find you? 770 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:08,320 Speaker 1: Yes, y'all just come to if you're in the social land, 771 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram at Glo Maven It's g l O 772 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 1: W M A V E N. And then at Mama 773 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: Glow is on Instagram. You can go to Momaglow dot com. 774 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,120 Speaker 1: If you're interested in doula, like if you want to 775 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,760 Speaker 1: become a doula, if you want to find a doula, 776 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,480 Speaker 1: if you want to advance your careers doula, you can 777 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,279 Speaker 1: come there. And we also, I do want to say 778 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: this which is important for people nationwide. We provide dual services, 779 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,359 Speaker 1: but also for people who cannot afford We do have 780 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 1: many programs, especially for women of color, black birthing people specifically, 781 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,840 Speaker 1: we have programs that have no income requirement. Just if 782 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: you would like a doula and you just want somebody 783 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:55,440 Speaker 1: to help you through this process, if you're wherever you're located. 784 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 1: But we we have like bigger programs in like cities 785 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 1: like New York, LA, Miami, ME, Atlanta, and New Orleans 786 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:07,480 Speaker 1: in d C. But we service everywhere. So reach out 787 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,319 Speaker 1: to us if you are looking for a doula and 788 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,120 Speaker 1: you need that support and that handholding, because we want 789 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 1: to make sure that everybody has that access. And then 790 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: if you are in school, okay, if you want to 791 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 1: do dula school and you've like moved on in life 792 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:27,239 Speaker 1: and you're like in your next iteration of your I 793 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: don't know next career path that you want to potentially 794 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 1: be a doula. We have public based programs and if 795 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,399 Speaker 1: you're in the university, you can take my course at Brown. 796 00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:38,360 Speaker 6: In the spring. 797 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:43,600 Speaker 1: I just taught it last spring, but you could you 798 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,920 Speaker 1: could join me there at around University where I'm you're 799 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,400 Speaker 1: professor of the practice is Gender and sexuality studies. 800 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,799 Speaker 6: Yeah, Professor Thomas here to serve you. 801 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 1: So love to see y'all if you're if you're up 802 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: at if you're up at Brown, I'll see you in 803 00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,959 Speaker 1: the springtime. But otherwise catch me on these inn streets. 804 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,400 Speaker 3: And want to make sure to link all of Latham's 805 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 3: information in this episode description. Make sure you come check 806 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 3: us out October twenty First, we have our live show 807 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:17,399 Speaker 3: in La y'all, Confessions of a Good Mom. So come 808 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,080 Speaker 3: hang out with your girls, come turn up, you need 809 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 3: that night off, Drop them babies off, drop babies, come 810 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 3: with your girls, come with your man, come with your wife, whatever. 811 00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,719 Speaker 3: And we're going to be at the Teagram Ballroom. And uh, 812 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 3: we have a few spots left for our retreat next year, 813 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:42,280 Speaker 3: next summer in Costa Rica, July twenty twenty twoenty twenty four. 814 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:47,960 Speaker 3: So you have plenty plenty of time to invest in 815 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:48,600 Speaker 3: this retreat. 816 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 4: It's invest in your rest. 817 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 3: Invest in your rest right you invest in your disconnection 818 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 3: and reconnection to yourself. 819 00:40:58,600 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 2: It is a. 820 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,400 Speaker 3: Beautiful, beautiful experience that Meila and I have curated for 821 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,280 Speaker 3: you guys. You can click the link check out our reviews. 822 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,759 Speaker 3: We five stars. Baby, make sure you go, h subscribe 823 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,120 Speaker 3: to our YouTube channel. I'm wearing our friends line. It's 824 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,960 Speaker 3: called Vintage Souls, female founded line based here in La. 825 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,720 Speaker 3: If you like my outfit, check her out at Vintage 826 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 3: souls dot com. Yep, yeah, just look at Vintage Souls 827 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:26,080 Speaker 3: And what's the discount code. 828 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 4: We got good Moms for thirty percent. 829 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,239 Speaker 3: Of Good Moms and this is a luxury brand, so 830 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,719 Speaker 3: you're gonna want to use that thirty off. 831 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:32,560 Speaker 2: Girl. 832 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 5: Shout out to Valley Girl Vintage who supplied these vintage 833 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 5: pants that I'm wearing. 834 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 2: Hard rip and uh, we'll catch you guys next week. 835 00:41:44,080 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 9: Bye, La Suspo, Ellen J. 836 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:18,280 Speaker 5: Solo, BAA Recorder, Lalos and Elas pashm