Speaker 1: What up bright Side besties, Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2: Today on the bright Side, we have one of the
Speaker 2: it girls in comedy right now, inspiring us to take
Speaker 2: big risks in our careers. Mary Beth Baron is here
Speaker 2: to make us laugh and think. She wrote, directed, produced,
Speaker 2: and financed her own comedy special titled thought Provoking, Oh
Speaker 2: so Inspiring.
Speaker 3: And then later we're going to turn the tables and
Speaker 3: Mary Beth asks us some thought provoking questions based on
Speaker 3: the bright Side's core themes like friendship, dating, and aging.
Speaker 4: It's a fun one, y'all. It's Thursday, April eighteenth.
Speaker 2: I'm Simone Voice, I'm Danielle Robe and this is the
Speaker 2: bright Side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 4: Danielle, what's new with you? I feel like we haven't
Speaker 4: caught up in a minute.
Speaker 2: Actually, I know, I have been reading and watching TV.
Speaker 2: I haven't done a daily show in a while, and
Speaker 2: I forgot something really funny. When you do a daily show,
Speaker 2: part of your job is to be interesting, and so
Speaker 2: I haven't had time to read, to consume content, to
Speaker 2: watch things. And last weekend and this week I made
Speaker 2: it a point to do that. So I caught up
Speaker 2: on Tokyovice season two, which is unbelievable, and I'm really
Speaker 2: just infatuated and obsessed with Japanese culture, and so it's
Speaker 2: really an amazing show. And then Girls five Eva, which
Speaker 2: is so funny and I love Busy Phillips and I
Speaker 2: love that show.
Speaker 3: Have you seen Showgun on FX No, also about Japanese culture,
Speaker 3: but it takes place many many moons ago. It's kind
Speaker 3: of like Game of Thrones ish, but set in Japanese culture.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny.
Speaker 2: I went to Japan a few years ago, like right
Speaker 2: before COVID hit, and the fashion there is unbelievable. They're
Speaker 2: like years ahead of us. Yeah, what's going on with you?
Speaker 3: I also have been trying to prioritize just reading and
Speaker 3: not really watching TV as much. I watched that Ripley
Speaker 3: show and I loved it. But I am trying to
Speaker 3: get through this fantasy series a Katar that a lot
Speaker 3: of people love these days. So I'm working my way
Speaker 3: through that, and that's been really great. That's been a rendy.
Speaker 1: You have time to read, like right before bed.
Speaker 4: In the evenings. Yeah, it's really tough, though.
Speaker 3: I am feeling so strapped for time these days between
Speaker 3: kids and the show. But I also have been investing
Speaker 3: in my health more lately. I'm really on my bodybuilder
Speaker 3: game again. Hmmm, smashing my teens, smashing my protein. I'm
Speaker 3: lifting weights. Should we get into our morning drip?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: I think so? All right.
Speaker 2: Ariana Grande's ninety eight year old Nonah is breaking music
Speaker 2: industry records. Marjorie Grande is now the oldest living person
Speaker 2: to make the Billboard.
Speaker 1: Hot one hundred.
Speaker 4: That's so cool.
Speaker 2: I know, you know, I don't want to make this
Speaker 2: about me because it's not. But people always say that
Speaker 2: Ariana Grande is my celebrity doppelganger.
Speaker 4: Uh oh, is this a Chelsea from Love is Blind moment?
Speaker 4: Right now?
Speaker 1: You tell me, what do you think?
Speaker 4: I don't see it really no, I.
Speaker 2: Kind of had you come up to me at the gym.
Speaker 2: What it's the ponytail? So Ariana Grande. They released this
Speaker 2: really cute Instagram photo where she's holding the plaque and
Speaker 2: it's it's sweet, like, it's really exciting to see.
Speaker 3: I love hearing stories about folks in their golden years
Speaker 3: experiencing success later in life.
Speaker 4: This is so cool.
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously it's facilitated by her super famous, super
Speaker 3: hot granddaughter, but.
Speaker 4: I love this for Nona.
Speaker 2: I love it for Nona, and I love it for
Speaker 2: Ariana too, because I think audiences like us are just
Speaker 2: craving that personal touch.
Speaker 1: I love getting to know people's families.
Speaker 2: When we were at south By Southwest when we kicked
Speaker 2: off the show, my grandma was actually at south By two.
Speaker 2: She had a movie, like a VR film about her life,
Speaker 2: and the producers and I were laughing because I kept
Speaker 2: texting her to see her and she could not find time.
Speaker 1: She calls me schnooky.
Speaker 2: She was like, I'd love to see you, Schnuoky, but
Speaker 2: I'm very busy.
Speaker 4: That is the cutest nickname ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Ariana Grande's Nona found some time, So my
Speaker 2: Olma better.
Speaker 1: Take a page out of her book.
Speaker 4: I love it all right.
Speaker 2: Crazy Rich Asians is headed to Broadway. The movie was
Speaker 2: a huge smash at the box office. Audiences loved it.
Speaker 2: My mom and I have watched this movie a hundred
Speaker 2: times together.
Speaker 1: I lotch you, Oh yeah, we love like.
Speaker 2: Any sort of romance films, and we fight about it
Speaker 2: because I'll tell her about how like this part isn't
Speaker 2: feminist or female forward, and she was like, Danielle, it's
Speaker 2: love get.
Speaker 3: Over it is she a bit more traditional in that respect, Yeah,
Speaker 3: she is, and she's very romantic, so she loved that film.
Speaker 2: But I'm excited that it's gonna be turned into a
Speaker 2: musical because it's gonna be based on the movie, which
Speaker 2: was based on a trilogy of books, which I actually
Speaker 2: didn't know, and it's gonna have great vision because it's
Speaker 2: directed by John m chu who directed the movie, and
Speaker 2: he's directed a ton of other musical films Wicked in
Speaker 2: the Heights, and this is his Broadway directorial debut.
Speaker 4: This is going to be a walk in the park
Speaker 4: for him, though.
Speaker 3: I mean, some of those dance scenes and in the
Speaker 3: Heights were just so impressive. They were on such a
Speaker 3: massive scale. So he's going to nail this.
Speaker 1: Okay, we have to talk about likability.
Speaker 4: Oh, let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Simona and I.
Speaker 2: Both came across this article in Glamour and we could
Speaker 2: not stop texting about it. So we have to bring
Speaker 2: it to the pod. Anya Meerwitz wrote an article titled
Speaker 2: learning to be Unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 4: Here's why. That headline, first of all, amazing.
Speaker 2: Amazing, and the topic really intrigued both of us. She
Speaker 2: talks about her deep seated desire to be likable, and
Speaker 2: she gives incredible examples, like at a massage parlor, the
Speaker 2: massage isn't going great, but she doesn't want to say anything.
Speaker 2: At the hospital when she was giving birth, she really
Speaker 2: wanted the staff to like her, so she was scared
Speaker 2: to need anything. She goes into rewriting emails to be likable,
Speaker 2: even like talking to payroll when they haven't paid her
Speaker 2: on time.
Speaker 1: She doesn't want to be unlikable.
Speaker 3: This is such a universal issue that I think so
Speaker 3: many women struggle with, myself included. You have to read
Speaker 3: this article. Make it a priority to read this article.
Speaker 3: It was really profound and it got me thinking about
Speaker 3: all the things that I've sacrificed in the name of
Speaker 3: being likable, like my happiness, different opportunities. Ultimately, the desire
Speaker 3: to be likable has cost me my safety at times
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 4: And I think when you look.
Speaker 3: Across all levels of society you can see examples of this.
Speaker 3: There's the issue of likability in politics. Voters elect quote
Speaker 3: unlikable male candidates all the time, but then female candidates
Speaker 3: have to work twice as hard in order to gain
Speaker 3: that elusive likability factor. And that's the thing, like, likability
Speaker 3: is this amorphous, abstract term.
Speaker 4: It's so hard to define. What does that even mean?
Speaker 1: That's part of what's today dificult about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly likability in Hollywood, I mean Sophia Coppola said
Speaker 3: she lost funding for a project because her characters weren't
Speaker 3: likable enough. There's also a likability gap in business. This
Speaker 3: article references and experiment from Columbia Business School that studied
Speaker 3: the likability gap by doing a side by side comparison
Speaker 3: of resumes. So researchers took a female entrepreneur's resume and
Speaker 3: they made two identical copies of it. One they attributed
Speaker 3: to Heidi Rosen, who was the actual businesswoman behind that resume,
Speaker 3: and the other copy they just made up any random
Speaker 3: male name. They called him Howard, And then they asked
Speaker 3: a group of business school students to compare the resumes,
Speaker 3: and the students agreed that both Heidi and Howard were competent,
Speaker 3: but they said that Howard was deemed more agreeable in
Speaker 3: someone you'd want to work with, while Heidi the exact
Speaker 3: same resume, she was deemed to be aggressive, selfish, and
Speaker 3: not the ideal colleague.
Speaker 2: I think that likability is an impossible bind because you
Speaker 2: want to be viewed as a leader or a boss
Speaker 2: at work, and ultimately, in many ways, when you are
Speaker 2: a woman, you are looked at as bossy. And for me,
Speaker 2: I feel like a victim and a volunteer in the
Speaker 2: likability trap. I feel like I'm a highly sensitive person
Speaker 2: who can feel people deeply, and so if I say
Speaker 2: something that you don't like, I can feel it right away.
Speaker 2: I see it in your eyes and your body language.
Speaker 2: I can just feel it, and I want you to
Speaker 2: like me. And on the other hand, I want to
Speaker 2: be a competent leader who says what she believes. And
Speaker 2: one of the things I've learned at work as I've
Speaker 2: had more experience, is that sometimes you are the expert
Speaker 2: in the room. And I think as women, we have
Speaker 2: the propensity to look at other people as experts and
Speaker 2: taking ownership over your own expertise is really big. But
Speaker 2: I think likability will cost you jobs. It will cost
Speaker 2: you negotiation like salaries. It's very difficult to navigate. The
Speaker 2: only thing that has ever helped me with this is
Speaker 2: Alicia Menendez's book called The Likability Trap. She's a journalist
Speaker 2: at MSNBC and her book honestly changed my life. She's
Speaker 2: the one that called it the impossible bind.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned that.
Speaker 3: I have her in my notes too, just to give
Speaker 3: her a shout out, because she's done incredible work on
Speaker 3: this topic.
Speaker 4: You know, it's funny, Danielle.
Speaker 3: You don't strike me as someone who struggles with likability
Speaker 3: or the desire to be liked.
Speaker 4: Really no, not from the outside.
Speaker 3: But I think Alicia talks about that as well in
Speaker 3: her book, Like you wouldn't assume that this has been
Speaker 3: a challenge for her either, but she says that she
Speaker 3: struggles with it quite a bit.
Speaker 1: Where do you see it show up in your life
Speaker 1: the most?
Speaker 3: Well, I think it shows up less and less as
Speaker 3: I get older, and less and less as I spend
Speaker 3: more time as a mom, because you honestly just run
Speaker 3: out of in space to care about what other people
Speaker 3: think about you. I don't have as much time. But
Speaker 3: something that Alicia brought up as well is that your
Speaker 3: relationship with likability is often a reflection of your mother's
Speaker 3: relationship with likability, and we learn this desire to be
Speaker 3: likable from our moms. My mom sought likability in an
Speaker 3: interpersonal context throughout her life, not necessarily in a professional context.
Speaker 3: But I definitely saw the ways in which she was
Speaker 3: aiming to appease or please people. And I saw that,
Speaker 3: and I think I wanted to run in the opposite direction,
Speaker 3: and I vacillated back and forth. I think in your twenties,
Speaker 3: it's really difficult to combat that desire to be likable.
Speaker 3: But now I'm feeling more firmly rooted, more confident, and
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm better equipped to combat this desire
Speaker 3: to be likable now.
Speaker 2: I like hearing that motherhood helped you with that. I
Speaker 2: think age has helped me with it. But motherhood is
Speaker 2: something I hear a lot from women that I interview.
Speaker 2: You just run out of bleeps, exactly.
Speaker 3: But I want us to also talk about solutions, because
Speaker 3: one thing I want to be wary of on this
Speaker 3: show and just in life, is dwelling on the struggles
Speaker 3: of womanhood, because I think that that can disempower us.
Speaker 3: To me, the solution here is being brave enough to
Speaker 3: be unlikable, because the more that we do that, we
Speaker 3: set an example for other women to do the same.
Speaker 3: I think it's also being wise enough to know that
Speaker 3: unlikable women are actually super relatable. We see that in
Speaker 3: films and TV shows all the time. And then, as
Speaker 3: Alisha would say, advocating for other women is another way
Speaker 3: to squash this likability complex.
Speaker 2: That to me is the most significant one, because it's
Speaker 2: really hard, especially at work. There's power in numbers, so
Speaker 2: when people support you in something, it's very powerful. I
Speaker 2: do think a lot of time we think about solutions
Speaker 2: as like incumbent upon us, and it's important to take
Speaker 2: responsibility for your actions, and it's important to do everything
Speaker 2: you can to be the solution. But I also think
Speaker 2: part of the solution is having men recognize this, Like
Speaker 2: I want to know how many men read Alicia's book.
Speaker 1: I think having a.
Speaker 2: Generation of men get more comfortable with women speaking in
Speaker 2: a certain tone, or like eliminating that word difficult or unlikable.
Speaker 2: We don't call men difficult unlikable, Diva, these are singular
Speaker 2: words for women.
Speaker 1: I think that will really help too.
Speaker 3: After the break, we'll hear from another proudly unlikable woman,
Speaker 3: pop provoking comedian Mary Beth Buron.
Speaker 1: By the way, those are her words, not ours.
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, we're back, featuring one of our favorite
Speaker 3: working comedians, the very funny Mary Beth Burn.
Speaker 2: Now you may have seen her on The Tonight Show
Speaker 2: with Jimmy Fallon, or touring with Chelsea Handler and Jenny Slate,
Speaker 2: even podcasting with Benito Skinner, or in her brand new
Speaker 2: YouTube comedy special called Thought Provoking. Mary Beth, Welcome to
Speaker 2: the bright Side.
Speaker 5: It is so good to be here. You are both
Speaker 5: so smiley, and I feel this energy. It's really uncommon,
Speaker 5: so it's great to be here.
Speaker 3: We're contractually obligated to smile thirty six times per episode,
Speaker 3: so thanks for noticing.
Speaker 1: Honestly, not the first time I've been called smiley? Are
Speaker 1: you ever called smiley?
Speaker 6: Never? Once? In my whole life?
Speaker 1: What are you called?
Speaker 5: I would say stonefaced, inscrutable, stoic. A lot of those
Speaker 5: adjectives are how I'm described dry.
Speaker 3: Have you always been that way? Or is this a
Speaker 3: persona that you put on when you're on stage?
Speaker 6: I have always been this way.
Speaker 5: I didn't even know I was doing like dry humor
Speaker 5: until people told me, and then now I watch I've
Speaker 5: seen some home videos of me as a kid. My
Speaker 5: dad like digitized all our home videos, and I was
Speaker 5: the exact same as a kid, very serious.
Speaker 3: Were you always performing in those videos? Did you have
Speaker 3: a mic? Were you doing stand up? From an early age?
Speaker 5: We had a lot of like performances in our front hall.
Speaker 6: There's a lot of like dances.
Speaker 5: There's some variety shows, and there is a video of
Speaker 5: me and my ex best friend dancing to Stop Right
Speaker 5: Now by the Spice Girls that has circulated online. So yeah,
Speaker 5: I have a deep history of performance.
Speaker 4: I would say Danielle, she's a theater kid. We have
Speaker 4: a live one kid. We got a live one folks.
Speaker 6: But I'm a theater kid who never did theater. Isn't
Speaker 6: that cool? I never did a play.
Speaker 5: I don't know why. I just was like, you know what,
Speaker 5: I think I'm too big time for it. I'm too
Speaker 5: big time for the play.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's more of an identity than it
Speaker 2: is an action.
Speaker 3: Yeahs, members of the review board for theater Kids, we
Speaker 3: permit you to join the club.
Speaker 4: You absolutely qualify.
Speaker 6: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Well, you're doing comedy now, that's what everybody knows you for.
Speaker 2: You have a comedy special titled thought Provoking, and I
Speaker 2: just want everybody to know how many titles you hold.
Speaker 2: When it comes to this comedy special. You wrote it,
Speaker 2: you directed it, you financed it, and you produced it.
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 1: Why did you create thought provoking?
Speaker 5: I created thought provoking because I had a lot that
Speaker 5: I wanted to say, and I wanted to put it
Speaker 5: out as a complete work, and I didn't necessarily want
Speaker 5: to wait for the taste makers in their glass towers
Speaker 5: to give me permission to do that. Just sort of
Speaker 5: realizing what the trends are in comedy right now. It
Speaker 5: feels like there are a chosen few who are allowed
Speaker 5: and given the space to make their own creative decisions
Speaker 5: and get these massive deals at streamers, and it just
Speaker 5: felt like that probably wasn't going to happen, at least
Speaker 5: not in the timeframe that I wanted it to. So
Speaker 5: I just decided I wanted to do it my own
Speaker 5: way and be the creative force behind it and make
Speaker 5: it exactly what I wanted it to be. Which, you know,
Speaker 5: the people that give you money often have a lot
Speaker 5: of opinions. But I'm lucky enough to have a podcast
Speaker 5: that I do that helps me pay the bills, and
Speaker 5: I have some money saved where I was able to
Speaker 5: finance it, and I am really proud of it. There's
Speaker 5: a lot of things that you know I would do differently,
Speaker 5: but it was a good exercise, and like, this is
Speaker 5: the footage we have, this is what we're able to
Speaker 5: do with it, and how do we make that the
Speaker 5: best version of the special that we can?
Speaker 3: There's an incredible story behind the title. Thought provoking. It's
Speaker 3: kind of a dunk. Actually, can you elaborate please?
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 5: I was submitting a set for late night TV last
Speaker 5: year and I was told by the booker that my
Speaker 5: jokes were too trying to make a point, of course,
Speaker 5: and he asked if I had any jokes that weren't
Speaker 5: as much of that, so just less trying to make
Speaker 5: a point. And I just thought, you know what, I
Speaker 5: actually don't. I have jokes that make a point, and
Speaker 5: I'm comfortable with that. So if that's not the right fit,
Speaker 5: it's not the right fit, and that's okay.
Speaker 4: Do you think you would ever say something like that
Speaker 4: to a male comedian.
Speaker 5: I think male comedians maybe they're just not making a
Speaker 5: point and maybe that's something.
Speaker 1: We need to think about and maybe that's the point.
Speaker 2: Wait, but you have this joke, speaking of male comedians,
Speaker 2: you have this joke where you say men are so
Speaker 2: mad at me for speaking What were you talking about?
Speaker 1: Will you share more behind that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have started posting clips on social media and
Speaker 5: I posted some on YouTube, and the comments I was getting,
Speaker 5: I mean, they want me dead, they want women dead,
Speaker 5: or in the kitchen. I literally got a comment that
Speaker 5: was like, women are good at three things, blowjobs, being
Speaker 5: in the kitchen, and I don't even remember the third thing.
Speaker 6: I'm sure it was really profound.
Speaker 5: But there's still a lot of people online who are
Speaker 5: comfortable posting and saying things like that. So I knew
Speaker 5: this special would piss them off. And that's okay because
Speaker 5: I don't make comedy for them.
Speaker 4: Who do you make comedy for?
Speaker 5: I make comedy, as I say in the special, for girls,
Speaker 5: gay guys, and the straight men who love us. That's
Speaker 5: my demo and I'm really comfortable with that.
Speaker 3: In your special, you talk about one of the benefits
Speaker 3: being that you get to choose what you wear, and
Speaker 3: what female comedians wear has been the subject of much discussion.
Speaker 3: So can you talk about that calculus behind your wardrobe
Speaker 3: when you go on stage? How do you make that decision?
Speaker 5: There's a lot of thought that goes into what I
Speaker 5: wear on stage? Because you want to wear something that
Speaker 5: you don't have to adjust a lot because that can
Speaker 5: be distracting. So for this special, I really wanted it
Speaker 5: to be super intentional. And there are a lot of
Speaker 5: sort of unwritten rules about what people should and shouldn't
Speaker 5: wear on stage, and I think what's so fun about
Speaker 5: having more women and queer people in comedy is that
Speaker 5: we're really re writing rules and making it whatever we
Speaker 5: want it to be. And one thing I love about
Speaker 5: my audience is that they're excited to see what I'm wearing,
Speaker 5: and I've established that I'm going to turn a look
Speaker 5: when it's like my show. So I love that they
Speaker 5: support me in making comedy fashionable because we have a
Speaker 5: lot of work to do and it starts with us.
Speaker 3: Women don't always have to wear flannel shirts and jeans
Speaker 3: on stage. If you want to, that's fine, that's your
Speaker 3: prerogative totally.
Speaker 5: But if you want to wear a gown that is
Speaker 5: Kate Moss's from the nineties, you should also do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's important to share a little backstory there.
Speaker 2: It's sort of a thing that women have to quote
Speaker 2: ugly up on stage in comedy, and so I think
Speaker 2: there's been a few female comedians that have tried to
Speaker 2: push the envelope there, you being one of them.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think it's because we were trying to fit into
Speaker 5: male spaces, and we were trying to do shows and
Speaker 5: be on lineups with people that were attracting a certain
Speaker 5: audience who don't align necessarily with what we're saying. Being
Speaker 5: a a female comedian is sort of political in and
Speaker 5: of itself, So for me it's yeah, if I have
Speaker 5: definitely had feedback when I'm performing at clubs or more
Speaker 5: traditional stand up venues, like, well, your clothes are distracting,
Speaker 5: and I think if you can't watch my stand up
Speaker 5: without being distracted unless you're totally blinded by how beautiful
Speaker 5: the outfit is, then I don't know if I'll ever
Speaker 5: get you on side, So best to just part ways amicably.
Speaker 3: Mary Beth, I hate to do this. I really don't
Speaker 3: want to have to call out your mom, but I'm
Speaker 3: gonna have to.
Speaker 5: Do it.
Speaker 3: Because when you were growing up, she told you that
Speaker 3: female comedians just aren't funny. All they do is talk
Speaker 3: about their periods. So is your whole career one big
Speaker 3: I told you so to your mom.
Speaker 5: You know, it's so funny because I remember it so
Speaker 5: vividly as a kid hearing that, and I was like,
Speaker 5: I guess that kind of makes sense. But I didn't
Speaker 5: think about it again for many, many years, and then
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, I can't believe that's
Speaker 5: like what I had been internalizing.
Speaker 6: And she definitely has.
Speaker 5: Like I say, she's apologized, but I think a lot
Speaker 5: of the comedy that was making it into people's homes
Speaker 5: back in the nineties from women specifically, it felt like
Speaker 5: they had to lean so hard into being a woman
Speaker 5: and that could be their only identifier and they can't
Speaker 5: really speak much outside of like being crass, which I
Speaker 5: am also crass, But it was probably hard to stick
Speaker 5: out in such a male dominated industry back then and
Speaker 5: feel really singular.
Speaker 6: So while I don't agree.
Speaker 5: And I know there were a lot of women even
Speaker 5: in the nineties totally breaking the mold, I understand that
Speaker 5: a lot of what she was probably seeing might have
Speaker 5: been tapping into that. But needless to say, I do
Speaker 5: have some jokes about my period in vagina, and she's
Speaker 5: totally okay with that as long as it's part of
Speaker 5: a larger body of work.
Speaker 4: A qword body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I want to go back to something that
Speaker 3: you said about how people view comedians almost monolithically. I
Speaker 3: feel like that's especially true for female comedians. You, being
Speaker 3: a female comedian, I'm sure you sometimes feel like you're
Speaker 3: expected to carry the entire legacy of female comedians on
Speaker 3: your back.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is this pressure of like, because you're a comedian,
Speaker 5: you sort of have to speak out on every issue.
Speaker 5: And I'm trying to be really thoughtful about speaking on
Speaker 5: things that I am educated on and things that I
Speaker 5: feel really passionate about. So sometimes you want to be
Speaker 5: like amplifying like every single issue. I really respect the
Speaker 5: people that have come before me because there were even
Speaker 5: fewer people in their corner who were helping uplift them.
Speaker 5: It was sort of like you either fit in with
Speaker 5: the guys or you don't survive. Whereas now, I think
Speaker 5: comedy is a lot more democratic, and we can produce
Speaker 5: independent shows, and we can put stuff out online and
Speaker 5: our audiences can find us, and I'm just really grateful
Speaker 5: that those people were there to pave the way. But
Speaker 5: for me right now, my approach is just like pick
Speaker 5: a few things that I'm passionate about, and you kind
Speaker 5: of like bread crumb it in with the funny stuff
Speaker 5: so that people are getting the information, but they it's
Speaker 5: like putting like sugar and medicine together.
Speaker 6: That's what I try to do.
Speaker 5: Even in the special, you know, I talk about a
Speaker 5: lot of different topics, but I try to make sure
Speaker 5: that there's enough dumb jokes in there, but that everything
Speaker 5: is of course trying to make a point.
Speaker 4: Don't want to be too thought provoking.
Speaker 6: God, for it can be tough. It can be tough.
Speaker 3: Maybe, but from the outside looking in, it seems like
Speaker 3: you've experienced a lot of success in such a short
Speaker 3: amount of time. I mean, you left Boston College, moved
Speaker 3: to New York City, quit your startup job to pursue
Speaker 3: comedy full time, and now you're crushing it.
Speaker 4: How does it feel to be that girl in comedy?
Speaker 5: That's very nice of you to say, I have chills.
Speaker 5: I think this industry is incredibly taxing, and there is
Speaker 5: a lot of rejection, and there's a lot of moments where,
Speaker 5: especially if you look at people around you, you can
Speaker 5: feel like you're not accomplishing enough, or you're not getting enough,
Speaker 5: or you're not doing enough. So I'm working on moments
Speaker 5: of gratitude and feeling accomplished because I actually moved to
Speaker 5: New York and I had no idea what I wanted
Speaker 5: to do, and I had a job for years, and
Speaker 5: then I decided to be a comedian, which is like
Speaker 5: so random and insane, and I every step of the way,
Speaker 5: my friends and family have been there for me one
Speaker 5: hundred and ten percent. Having that support system is so invaluable.
Speaker 5: And just like female friendship in general is such a
Speaker 5: beautiful thing that I think gets portrayed as like, you know,
Speaker 5: pinning women against each other and not being supportive.
Speaker 6: We're talking about each other, but that's not my experience.
Speaker 3: You have to be a little Delulu to have a lot,
Speaker 3: a lot Delulu. Yes, you come from a big family.
Speaker 3: Are you the most Delulu sibling in the bunch?
Speaker 6: One hundred percent?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's a big fam happen?
Speaker 5: I'm one of six, I'm the youngest of six, so
Speaker 5: three girls, three boys, and I'm just like, I'm very
Speaker 5: different from my siblings. I care about fashion, I like
Speaker 5: love brands. I'm like a capitalist pig but also a
Speaker 5: socialist and I love attention. That's that's my love language.
Speaker 2: It's so gen z to be capitalist and socialist all
Speaker 2: at the same time, you're very on trend.
Speaker 6: Well, I'm a Gemini, so I can be both, which
Speaker 6: is cool.
Speaker 2: So I'm a big fan of Ride, which is your podcast,
Speaker 2: Thank you, and you do it with your co host
Speaker 2: who's also a comedian, Benito Skinner aka Benny Drama and
Speaker 2: you guys are so funny.
Speaker 1: How did this come together?
Speaker 5: So this was during the pandemic Benito and I, Well,
Speaker 5: he was approached and he was asked if you wanted
Speaker 5: to do a podcast, and he was like, I will
Speaker 5: do a podcast, but only if I can do it
Speaker 5: with Mary Beth. And then we were thinking about what
Speaker 5: we wanted the podcast to be, and we wanted it
Speaker 5: to be really positive. We wanted it to be a
Speaker 5: space where we could come and talk about things that
Speaker 5: we really enjoy and just be earnest and genuine and
Speaker 5: we each bring one thing per week that we ride
Speaker 5: for and we really feel the love for this podcast,
Speaker 5: and I think having a platform where we just talk
Speaker 5: about things that we love, like our audiences when we
Speaker 5: perform live, we can feel that they're coming from a
Speaker 5: place of positivity and they're not sitting there with their
Speaker 5: arms crossed like ready to be cultural commentators. They're just like,
Speaker 5: let's have fun, let's be silly and crazy and tap
Speaker 5: into those goofy selves that I think women are sort
Speaker 5: of told to like suppress when we're teenagers. But this
Speaker 5: podcast is not about that. The podcast is about just
Speaker 5: like love and joy. And we do smile.
Speaker 6: Sometimes on the podcast, so there's some synergy there.
Speaker 1: You may all of us smile.
Speaker 3: I feel a major crossover event happening. I don't know
Speaker 3: between like The bright Side and Ride, because.
Speaker 6: I could see a collab. I totally see.
Speaker 4: It's just like you know, somepottico.
Speaker 1: A lot of comedians I know make comedy rounds in
Speaker 1: terms of stand up.
Speaker 2: Their mainstays at the laugh Factory or the comedy store
Speaker 2: or the improv and they and that's like their home.
Speaker 1: And you've really.
Speaker 2: Done it a different way. What is your advice in
Speaker 2: terms of doing it your own way?
Speaker 5: I would say the most important thing for me has
Speaker 5: been and this applies to comedy, but I think it
Speaker 5: could be applicable to other verticals as well. I am
Speaker 5: my own favorite comedian. And you should do the thing
Speaker 5: if you believe that, you are going to love your
Speaker 5: work the most, because if you don't believe in the work.
Speaker 5: It's actually impossible to convince other people to like sign
Speaker 5: on for it. So I just think that is so important.
Speaker 5: And if you have a burning desire, like let it
Speaker 5: simmer for a bit and see.
Speaker 6: If it keeps nagging at you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've blown up my entire life multiple times and
Speaker 5: take risks. The fear of it going wrong is worse
Speaker 5: than the reality.
Speaker 4: I think, blow it up. Blow it up.
Speaker 6: Unless you're joining the armed forces, that is like totally different.
Speaker 6: I can't speak to that. They might not work out.
Speaker 3: I love that you said blowing that you've blown your
Speaker 3: life up multiple times, like I have to, Yes, you
Speaker 3: got to blow your life up.
Speaker 4: If you're not blowing your life up, what are you doing?
Speaker 5: You're not living. That's what life's about. It's just like
Speaker 5: I really stand by that. Again, I'm in a position
Speaker 5: of privilege because I have a support system.
Speaker 2: But I thought you were gonna say you were in
Speaker 2: a position of privilege because you have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 6: Because I have a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5: That yeah, also true, doesn't really stuff just doesn't really
Speaker 5: affect me the same way.
Speaker 3: Do you ever make him like like reenact certain like
Speaker 3: scenes from period films, because that's what I would do
Speaker 3: if I had a British boyfriend.
Speaker 5: I would if he wasn't constantly getting cast in period
Speaker 5: films and TV shows.
Speaker 6: So I feel like I get to see it. Yeah,
Speaker 6: he's an actor.
Speaker 5: He always gets cast as characters who wear blouses, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like, he's always in a blouse.
Speaker 4: We love a blouse king.
Speaker 6: I'm in a blouse right now, and you know what,
Speaker 6: it looks good.
Speaker 3: I honestly think the world would benefit from more blouse
Speaker 3: kings in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: Is Lenny Kravitz a blouse king?
Speaker 3: He's a Did you see him wearing leather pants in
Speaker 3: the gym? Did you see that clip of him?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: You know what I did?
Speaker 5: And that's actually crazy behavior from someone who wore leather
Speaker 5: pants on stage one time and they split up the front.
Speaker 5: So let's just say I would not be running to
Speaker 5: wear leather at the gym for him.
Speaker 6: But I think it's great.
Speaker 2: Mary Beth, we have to take a quick break, but
Speaker 2: when we come back, we are going to be brave
Speaker 2: like you told us to, diving into some of your
Speaker 2: provoking thoughts.
Speaker 3: Okay, we are back with Mary Beth buron and we're
Speaker 3: gonna flip the script a little right now, and you're
Speaker 3: actually going to be in the host chair.
Speaker 4: MB.
Speaker 3: You have some thought provoking questions for us based on
Speaker 3: some of our bright Side themes like friendship, dating, aging, optimism,
Speaker 3: et cetera. So the floor is yours, Marybeth, please host
Speaker 3: our show.
Speaker 6: Okay, So, welcome to the bright Side. I'm Mary. That's brown.
Speaker 5: It's so great to be here with such a steam guests,
Speaker 5: and I think we should just dive right in.
Speaker 6: What are you saying? Do it?
Speaker 4: Let's go.
Speaker 5: Okay, So I've prepared some questions to provoke thots and
Speaker 5: everyone listening. You can also bring these to the group chat,
Speaker 5: bring these to the next Hinge date or whatever app
Speaker 5: you use, and see what people say, see if you're
Speaker 5: in alignment. So the first question has to do with dating.
Speaker 5: So my the question to you is would you turn
Speaker 5: into an ogre permanently if it meant that you got
Speaker 5: to be with the love of your life?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: For sure?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, I love Winds. I am such a sucker
Speaker 2: for big love. I'm holding out for it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm all about goblin mode already. Okay, that's like
Speaker 3: not a stretch.
Speaker 6: This is This isn't even a departure.
Speaker 4: No Ogre mode is the next level up from goblin mode.
Speaker 4: So that's how you'll evolve. Yeah, I'm here for it.
Speaker 5: I will say waiting for big love is totally worth it.
Speaker 5: Thank you for that, even if you have to turn
Speaker 5: into an ogre.
Speaker 2: When I hear other people who find it tell me that,
Speaker 2: it makes me be okay holding out, So thank you.
Speaker 6: You got to be patient.
Speaker 5: But it's what we're on earth to do, is to
Speaker 5: like find our big love. So okay, great, you're both
Speaker 5: on the right side of history and pro ogre. Next question,
Speaker 5: if you did twenty three and meters and found out
Speaker 5: that you had a secret relative, who would be your
Speaker 5: first call?
Speaker 2: I did this, although I think I did ancestry dot Com,
Speaker 2: which is like maybe my biggest regret because now, like
Speaker 2: the government has my DNA.
Speaker 6: It's not it. They've probably had it before I have it.
Speaker 5: All.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's true. I'm like highly findable.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: There's like so many people on ancestry dot Com that
Speaker 2: they say I'm related to. It's like my fifth cousin.
Speaker 2: There's a million of them all over the world. I
Speaker 2: called my grandmother because she's the keeper of our family
Speaker 2: tree to see if any of this was legit.
Speaker 1: She was uninterested. She said she has her own ancestry
Speaker 1: dot com account and that I need to focus on
Speaker 1: my job.
Speaker 6: Well, she was like, this is old news.
Speaker 1: Don't leave me with this crap exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I actually did find out that I have a bonus brother,
Speaker 3: but it wasn't through ancestry. I haven't told you this story,
Speaker 3: so I guess i'll tell you.
Speaker 6: I'm seeded right now. This is huge.
Speaker 4: It was huge.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I've been an only child my whole life.
Speaker 3: Right I was twenty one, I was in college. I'm
Speaker 3: home for Thanksgiving. Break says to me, Simone, I need
Speaker 3: you to come sit down. We have some big news
Speaker 3: to share with you. My heart is pounding outside of
Speaker 3: my chest right now. This I'm like reliving that moment
Speaker 3: I thought somebody had cancer. I thought somebody was dying.
Speaker 3: He tells me, I had a son in college that
Speaker 3: I didn't know about, and you have a half brother,
Speaker 3: and I in that moment, like it just talk about
Speaker 3: blowing up your life, like it blew up my whole life.
Speaker 3: So eventually we got to meet and we connected and yeah,
Speaker 3: now I have a half brother that I only met
Speaker 3: when I was an adult.
Speaker 4: It's crazy.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's a I mean, that's huge for your whole family.
Speaker 2: It is pretty cool too that your dad sat you
Speaker 2: down and just told you, Yeah, it's not easy to
Speaker 2: share news like that.
Speaker 1: That must have been hard for him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like, there's there's some beautiful parts that come
Speaker 3: with it. There's obviously a lot of baggage, a lot
Speaker 3: of like where you know, just the mes seness of
Speaker 3: humanity comes in. But my dad and my brother I
Speaker 3: have a really good relationship now I think is as
Speaker 3: best as you could hope for. So yeah, it is possible.
Speaker 3: You never know, you could have a bonus relative out
Speaker 3: there somewhere.
Speaker 4: Folks.
Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing with us.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's beautiful. And who is your first call? I
Speaker 6: have to know, Oh my first call?
Speaker 3: It was probably whoever was in my top eight at
Speaker 3: the time on my space. Yeah, one of my one
Speaker 3: of my best friends from college. I honestly can't remember it,
Speaker 3: but yeah, topic.
Speaker 6: Top eight was huge. I mean, talk about divisive.
Speaker 5: That was polarization, that was weaponizing social media. Last question,
Speaker 5: what's been the most surprising benefit of getting older?
Speaker 4: Oh, very bad, hard hitting questions. These are so bright side.
Speaker 6: I have to provoke the thoughts.
Speaker 1: I think. For me, it's been surrendering.
Speaker 2: I used to feel like I could control everything and
Speaker 2: that if I didn't do EXWY and Z, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: get a certain outcome.
Speaker 1: And I'm sort of free of that now.
Speaker 2: And it's that is freeing, like to know that only
Speaker 2: a certain amount is in your control and not act
Speaker 2: out of these deep emotions that you don't understand where.
Speaker 1: They're coming from. Yeah, Like when you're in.
Speaker 2: College, if there's like a guy that rejects you, you
Speaker 2: just go and you like text another guy. And that
Speaker 2: is such a like metaphor of like what not to
Speaker 2: do in life, you know, And so that reaction I
Speaker 2: don't have anymore. Like if I get rejected by a
Speaker 2: man or a job or anything, I don't go put
Speaker 2: my mess of emotions on anybody else.
Speaker 1: I can self regulate.
Speaker 6: Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4: I love that. I think the most surprising benefit of
Speaker 4: getting older, I'm torn it's either day drinking or JOEMO,
Speaker 4: because day drinking is just fantastic. It's a revelation.
Speaker 3: You go your whole adolescent life thinking that you can
Speaker 3: only drink between the hours of nine pm to two am.
Speaker 3: But then when you hit a certain age, your world
Speaker 3: just opens up and you could have an aperall Sprits
Speaker 3: at eleven am or you know, and then keep drinking
Speaker 3: Mimosa's at.
Speaker 4: A bottomless brunch. Damn.
Speaker 3: I mean, all the timeline shift a bit, you know,
Speaker 3: we go to bed a lot earlier, and then Jomo too.
Speaker 3: I mean, Jomo is a huge benefit, the joy of
Speaker 3: missing out. I don't I don't feel the fear anymore.
Speaker 6: I'm so with you. I feel like Jomo is fab
Speaker 6: Mary Beth, what's yours?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 5: Besides being able to like go out to dinner whenever
Speaker 5: I want and not be stressed about my bank account,
Speaker 5: I think for me, it's just being more honest. Like
Speaker 5: I don't really care as much how things are perceived
Speaker 5: by others, and I feel like being honest. And I
Speaker 5: read about this in the Bell Hooks book All about Love,
Speaker 5: which like really reinforced my approach, which is just like
Speaker 5: I'm way more honest with people, and if if you
Speaker 5: want my opinion, I'm going to give you exactly how
Speaker 5: I feel. And if you don't like that, then it's
Speaker 5: not like I'm like out being a bitch to everyone.
Speaker 5: It's just like, I will give you my honest response,
Speaker 5: and that is something I wasn't always able to do,
Speaker 5: and I think that's been really fun to explore, just
Speaker 5: being upfront with people.
Speaker 3: This actually reminds me of something that we were just
Speaker 3: talking about earlier today, So it's this idea of the
Speaker 3: power of being unlikable. There is this Glamour article that
Speaker 3: got us thinking about this, and the headline is learning
Speaker 3: to be unlikable is the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 3: Does that idea resonate with you?
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I'm not for everyone.
Speaker 5: And if I wanted a career where I was palatable
Speaker 5: and broad, which is fine and so respectable, I would
Speaker 5: have gone about things completely differently. But I just think
Speaker 5: that my comedy and my point of view can be
Speaker 5: really polarizing. And I know there's people that think I'm
Speaker 5: just like a mouthy bitch and that's your honest reaction
Speaker 5: to me, and that's fine. But I again like I'm
Speaker 5: repelling the right people because I don't care if they
Speaker 5: don't like me. But I think that that's something that
Speaker 5: does come with age, and I do credit a lot
Speaker 5: of unlikable female characters that have come onto our TV
Speaker 5: screens in the last decade.
Speaker 6: Because that's like, that was formative.
Speaker 4: Who are some of those unlikable female characters you're thinking of?
Speaker 6: The entire cast of girls comes to mind. Yes, Sex
Speaker 6: and the City.
Speaker 5: I saw this article recently about gen Z watching Sex
Speaker 5: in the City and how the views in it are
Speaker 5: outdated and the characters aren't likable. But I'm like, they're complex.
Speaker 5: They make choices that you feel are wrong. That's how
Speaker 5: everyone leads their lives. They're acting selfishly and they make mistakes,
Speaker 5: and I think that seeing that on TV is like
Speaker 5: an important part of accepting ourselves for who we are.
Speaker 4: What's your next blow up? Are you gonna? Are you
Speaker 4: planning to blow up your life?
Speaker 1: Maybe this is a new thing. Instead of blow up,
Speaker 1: it's blow up.
Speaker 4: Oh I love that it's your blow up.
Speaker 5: I will tell you, but you have to bleep in.
Speaker 5: I don't want you to cut it, but I want
Speaker 5: to spark intrigue. Okay, okay, keep the mystery, keep the mystery.
Speaker 2: I might.
Speaker 5: Stop, really I might. I'm not sure yet. I'm figuring
Speaker 5: it out. I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 4: That I did not see that coming.
Speaker 6: I was thinking, Wow, I have some stuff to figure
Speaker 6: out before.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we can make some calls too for you,
Speaker 4: like we know something.
Speaker 6: I will need it.
Speaker 3: Thanks for sharing your next blow up with us, the
Speaker 3: next blow up, Mary Beth. I love what you're bringing
Speaker 3: to comedy. Thanks so much for bringing it to the
Speaker 3: bright side too.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for watching
Speaker 5: the special. I feel like that makes me feel really good.
Speaker 5: I'm going to ride that wave for the five minutes
Speaker 5: after we hang up. I'm going to celebrate that, and
Speaker 5: then I'll be back to my toxic thoughts. But this
Speaker 5: was so lovely, and thank you for creating a space
Speaker 5: where people can be smiley and talk about funny things
Speaker 5: and not funny things.
Speaker 6: And I love it. More women with podcasts, please you guys,
Speaker 6: seriously please, it's.
Speaker 4: A boys club out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's enough, especially in the top ten. One of
Speaker 2: my favorite quotes is if you can make them laugh,
Speaker 2: you can make them listen. And that's really what I
Speaker 2: think you're doing, so thank you for that.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Mary Beth Barone is a comedian, writer, and actor. You
Speaker 3: can watch her latest special, Thought Provoking Now on YouTube.
Speaker 2: I love her dry sense of humor. She really tickles
Speaker 2: my funny bone.
Speaker 4: I know, she cracks me up, you know.
Speaker 2: I love how she created her own content and put
Speaker 2: herself on stage and wrote and produced and directed and
Speaker 2: financed it.
Speaker 1: It's really freaking hard to do that, and she didn't
Speaker 1: wait for permission. I feel like.
Speaker 2: In life, at any stage, there's all of these like
Speaker 2: false guardrails that are set up, like you have to
Speaker 2: do a certain thing to get into college, or do
Speaker 2: a certain you have to have a job as an
Speaker 2: assistant before you become a manager. And she just said,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna wait to do it the way everybody
Speaker 2: else has. I'm gonna do it myself. And she gave
Speaker 2: her self permission. And I really respect that.
Speaker 3: You can see how she did that at several different
Speaker 3: turning points in her life. Every step of the way,
Speaker 3: she's giving herself permission, and she's not afraid to blow
Speaker 3: up her life. I'm still thinking about that phrase, blow
Speaker 3: ups over glow ups.
Speaker 4: You like that one? I love it.
Speaker 3: She's the queen of blow ups. I can't wait to
Speaker 3: see what she does next. I think if we watch her,
Speaker 3: we'll be amazed to see where she goes in Like
Speaker 3: the next ten years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it could take some twists and turns.
Speaker 2: She's highly intelligent, just like most funny people are.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, very true.
Speaker 3: All right, bright Side besties, we are featuring our April
Speaker 3: Reese's book Club pick on the show very soon. The
Speaker 3: author is Clara Lombardo and the book is the most
Speaker 3: fun we ever had. So send in your questions for
Speaker 3: Claire to Hello at the bright Side podcast dot com, and.
Speaker 1: You don't want to miss Tomorrow.
Speaker 2: We're talking about out what so many women on the
Speaker 2: internet are talking about birth control. Fortunately, we have an
Speaker 2: expert here obg y N and CEO of sanctum Med Wellness,
Speaker 2: doctor Jessica Shepherd is answering all of our questions about
Speaker 2: side effects, pain and how to feel confident in choosing
Speaker 2: a birth control method that's right for you.
Speaker 6: Oof.
Speaker 3: Such an important topic. All right, that's it for today's show.
Speaker 3: Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: I'm Simone Voice.
Speaker 3: You can find me at simone Voice on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1: I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 4: That's ro Ba y see you tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Folks, keep looking on the bright side.