1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier. 3 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:18,280 Speaker 2: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 2: I'm Jay Glazer and I'm really pumped to have this guest. 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 2: It's interesting because I've met him twice, and what I 6 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 2: mean by meeting him twice in two different areas of 7 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 2: his life. 8 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 3: I met him first time. 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 2: When he was a star with the forty nine ers, 10 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,959 Speaker 2: who am pure will correct me if I'm wrong here, 11 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 2: but at fourteen sacks as rookie year nineteen and a half, 12 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 2: his second year, and that's when I originally met him. 13 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: And I met him in up Mitch martial Arts fight 14 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 2: out in San Francisco. 15 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 3: Or San Jose. 16 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 2: And then I met him ten years later at my 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 2: gym Unbreakable and he was homeless. Two totally different lives, 18 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 2: but one, in my opinion, fountastic human and teammate to me, 19 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 2: and that is Olden Smith. 20 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 4: Alden, how we doing, Bob, I'm doing good. I'm doing well. 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 3: That's that for an introduction. 22 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 4: That's a new one. I'm well, I'm well good man good. 23 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: So you know, look, I want to have I love 24 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 2: having all than on and because All There is now 25 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 2: using a lot of his experience in the past, he's 26 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 2: going to start using to help players out not make 27 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 2: the same mistakes he's made, and other players made some 28 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 2: of the pitfalls of success in not just being a 29 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 2: professional football player, but pro athlete and success. So I 30 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 2: really want to dive in with him there. 31 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 3: Also we've had we've had quite. 32 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: A journey together. So I don't know where you want 33 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 2: to start here, brother, but you've had a couple of 34 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 2: different comeback stories in life. I think this is a 35 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 2: great comeback for you also as far as it's not 36 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 2: on the field, but it can. 37 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 3: Help players in life. 38 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm actually gonna piggyback off of the comeback thing. 39 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 4: And I don't know if it ever was a comeback, 40 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 4: just because I think, if anything, I look at it 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 4: as like this progression ladder, and I got stopped in 42 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 4: my progression, you know, and things that got in the 43 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 4: way of it included things that I had control over, 44 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 4: things I didn't have control over, and me putting myself 45 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 4: in situations where now I'm stuck in this period of life, 46 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 4: you know. And so here I am started out life, 47 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 4: grow up get a chance to play pro ball. And 48 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 4: then as I'm growing as a man, I'm starting to 49 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 4: confront some things that I'm struggling with. And I didn't 50 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 4: know what those things were. You know, you know you're unhappy, 51 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 4: you know you don't well, I knew I didn't feel 52 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 4: a certain I know, I didn't feel like I was 53 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 4: being treated, and so by that, people were you know, 54 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 4: looked up to me and then they saw me as 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 4: this superstar and I didn't. I had low self esteem, 56 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 4: I had an anxiety in my sense of self was very 57 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,399 Speaker 4: very negative. So I filled those gaps and I did 58 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 4: everything I could to live into that persona and substance 59 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 4: other addictions, and wasn't true. Wasn't being true to who 60 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 4: I was. And so what I mean by that is 61 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 4: I got stopped, you know, I let something halt my progress, 62 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 4: and so I was able to pick back up. And 63 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 4: now that's where I am now. 64 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 3: Well, look, I know exactly what you're talking about, because look. 65 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 2: Until I wrote Unbreakable, you know, and I gave I 66 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 2: told people words about you know, my depression anxiety, I 67 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 2: had a mask on all these years. I was the glaze. 68 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: You know, I created this character. You were this character 69 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 2: of this you know, superhuman NFL player who's got the 70 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 2: two of us have a lot of. 71 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 3: Struggles behind the eyes, and we just it was kind 72 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 3: of it's how you raise right to kind of my 73 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 3: eighty deal take over here. 74 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 2: But like I trained all in an mma and and 75 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 2: trained them to come back in football. And one of 76 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: the things I would always say is, man, if you're 77 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 2: if you're tired, don't show it right all, then take 78 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 2: your hands off your hips. 79 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 3: Neutral face, neutral face. How many times did I say 80 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 3: that to you? 81 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 2: And that's what got you and I in trouble in 82 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 2: life of hey, we're going to act a certain way 83 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 2: for the world to see us. We're gonna have this 84 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 2: neutral face, and that got the two of us to implode. 85 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 2: You know I I kind of could have had a 86 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 2: lot of situations where I was like you also and 87 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 2: ended up. 88 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 3: In the wrong side of the lawn and and lose 89 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 3: it all. Thank god I didn't. 90 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: But it's all about hiding that that hurt kid, that's 91 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 2: kind of inside us right. 92 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 4: Definitely, I couldn't agree more. And they're you know, not 93 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 4: being authentic and having to put on has its I 94 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 4: guess lifestan and I think you know, a lot of 95 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 4: athletes unfortunately run into that inperior that publicly. And so 96 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 4: by that, I mean, you know, it was only a 97 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 4: matter of time before the things that I was doing 98 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 4: to mask who I was was seen and it and 99 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 4: it affected me in a way where I couldn't hide 100 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 4: it anymore. 101 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, So just also hit a couple of things that 102 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 2: you and I dealt with. And I think this this 103 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: gets a lot of people and players, like right when 104 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: you you know, and we trained all and you got 105 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 2: signed by the Cowboys, and then all of a sudden, 106 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: like right before you're going to camp, You're like, oh, 107 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 2: I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy of it, so 108 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 2: I'm gonna. 109 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 3: Go fuck it up. And I think that's you know 110 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 3: a lot of what a lot of people go through. 111 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 2: Also, like hey, I'm waiting for the sky to fall 112 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 2: because I don't deserve good things that happened for me, 113 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 2: And the pain of living in question of when that's 114 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 2: going to happen is often worse than the pain of 115 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 2: it happening. 116 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 3: So we speed up the process. 117 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 4: I want to say something about that, right, yep, you 118 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 4: know what it was? It was. I knew I was 119 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 4: about to enter into something that I didn't want to 120 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 4: be into and and I felt like I had once 121 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 4: again because I had taken I was off for like 122 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,919 Speaker 4: five years. During that time, there was so much life 123 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 4: that I was experiencing, and I just discovered another side 124 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 4: of who I was becoming. And so by like when 125 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 4: it came time to sign the paper and everything, it 126 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 4: was all starting to come back and all the noise 127 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 4: was starting to enter back in and I didn't I 128 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 4: didn't know how to vocalize it. And I knew that 129 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 4: this isn't really what I want to do, but I'm 130 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 4: so far in that I'm in it, you know, And 131 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 4: I don't know if that does that make sense? 132 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 3: Yeah? No, are you sure? 133 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 2: Well? 134 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 3: Let me answer you sure to? You didn't want to do? 135 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 2: Is are more of a fear of Oh man, I'm 136 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 2: going to have to put that mask on again. 137 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 4: A little combination of both, but more so like my 138 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 4: passion for football left when I left San Francisco, and 139 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 4: when it was time to come back, it was more 140 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 4: for a financial reason and there were some other factors 141 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 4: that went into play. I think the ego was still 142 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 4: trying to figure out, you know, can I do this? 143 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 4: You know? Like and wanted to just see if I 144 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 4: was still in it. And you know, once it all 145 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 4: started to happen and everything came, I didn't know how 146 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 4: to how to get away from it. So I went 147 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 4: back to my old routine, and that was, you know, 148 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 4: hiding and hiding it and just trying to be wherever 149 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 4: I needed to be for that day. 150 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 2: And again, part of it also was the sobriety issue. 151 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 2: And I think we met and you were almost but 152 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 2: then you're sober living when you look. 153 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 3: Back at now. 154 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 2: Was that was it spread issues more coping with something 155 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 2: you didn't want to do or is it more of 156 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 2: it's coping with that the pain I had kind of from. 157 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 3: A young kid on. 158 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 4: So my sobriety issue stemmed from me not having a 159 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 4: relationship with myself that was honest and me not living 160 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 4: in my in my true self and so like that. 161 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 4: It wasn't necessarily like being around it. And you know, 162 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 4: it wasn't the alcohol. It was you know, I'm not 163 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 4: happy with who I am, I'm not happy with where 164 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 4: I am, and I do got to still, you know, 165 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 4: show up and do this. So this is the only 166 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 4: way I know how to do it. 167 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I look you and I talked to I 168 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 3: used to do the same thing with biking and alcohol. 169 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, man, I have these terrible anxiety talks. I 170 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 3: said that the beast comes out of the box, and 171 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 3: I would say, well, shit, I got to show up 172 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 3: somewhere and be that the glaze. 173 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 2: So we pop some biking in an alcohol and hopefully 174 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 2: that glaze comes back out. 175 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 3: And then a lot of times they got me in trouble. 176 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 2: But here's look the cool thing of I'm going to say, 177 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 2: a cool thing of happening to shit. You and I 178 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 2: have right because I want to take away the stigma 179 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 2: of you know, I said to you from day one, 180 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,719 Speaker 2: I'm like, look, man, I'm fucked up and I'm good 181 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 2: with my fucked upness. 182 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 3: When the truth is, I'm really learning how to be 183 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 3: good with my fucked upness. 184 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 2: But it's cool that two very very very duly dudes 185 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 2: like me and you could come on here and talk 186 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 2: about things like this so raw and vulnerable and honest. 187 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 3: Well, we don't have to. 188 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 2: Cover it up anymore with substances and Viking booze and 189 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 2: whatever else. 190 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,959 Speaker 3: We don't have to be that, and we want to 191 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:05,839 Speaker 3: have been able to do this. 192 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 2: I think you and I were always pretty vulnerable with 193 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 2: each other. 194 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 3: Really, we've cried each other pretty much, you know. 195 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: But for the most part, this wouldn't happen four years ago, 196 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 2: five years ago, where we could just come on here 197 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 2: and just open up and talk about it and then 198 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 2: kind of get not feel shamed. 199 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 3: For it, right, kind of feel applauded for it. 200 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 4: It definitely feels a lot different being in living consistently 201 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 4: in that space and not having to have a conversation 202 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 4: and then be on some bullshit when we're done talking, right, 203 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 4: And so it's good when you don't have to make. 204 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 2: Up something right, right, right, So tell me again, you're 205 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 2: going to start now talking to players, which is fantastic, 206 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 2: and I kind of want to, you know, give us 207 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 2: some of the bullet points that you're going to go 208 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 2: over with these guys, some of the knowledge that you 209 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 2: have from the experience you have that you could share 210 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 2: with these cats. 211 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 4: So it's not just for players. My message is eventually 212 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,079 Speaker 4: I would like to talk to whoever would like to 213 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 4: have me. But obviously I'm a player, I'm a former player, 214 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 4: and I really want to be able to impact people 215 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 4: with my journey. And so when I've gone and talked 216 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 4: to rookies and just people. The rookies that I've spoken with, 217 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 4: I've talked to them openly and honestly about what it 218 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 4: is that they're experiencing that I experienced and like what 219 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 4: is there? Why? Like why are you there? And do 220 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 4: you more of a more intro you know, internal conversation 221 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 4: that needs to be had because I had questions. I 222 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 4: had things that I wish I would have asked. I 223 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 4: wish I would have had the cool head off and 224 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 4: the more you know, hey. 225 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:50,719 Speaker 3: Like you just off your desk right there. You know 226 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 3: I'm not to let you get away with that. 227 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 2: People who can't see all the he put his elbow 228 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 2: on his desk and fell off. Here's a world class 229 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 2: athlete just fell off his desk. I played this move, 230 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 2: but there's no way I'm letting you get past that. 231 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 4: Wow. 232 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 3: But yeah, well, so give me it. 233 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 5: Like some of the questions you said you wish you 234 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 5: would have asked, I wish I would have maybe had 235 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 5: a conversation about how I really feel about what I'm 236 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 5: about to enter and how prepared am I and and 237 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 5: with all of the other things. 238 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,600 Speaker 4: That I think I had around and just not having 239 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 4: the foundation not like not knowing where I want to 240 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 4: take everything, and maybe talking about you know, how do 241 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 4: I really feel about myself? So my conversations with the 242 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 4: players are just more of a know why you're here 243 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 4: and use this platform to do whatever you want. But 244 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 4: while you're in here, you know, if you're a football player, 245 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 4: that's one thing, but if you're good at playing football, 246 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 4: it's a different thing. You know, being a football player 247 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 4: it takes consistency, it takes discipline, it takes you know, 248 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 4: you got to be vulnerable. There's a lot of things 249 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,679 Speaker 4: that go into this like that you have to have 250 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 4: if you want to have this career. I was good 251 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 4: at football. In my opinion, I'm one of the best 252 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 4: to ever play football. But I'm definitely not in the 253 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 4: best football player list. And so there's two different sides 254 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 4: and a lot of guys get it messed up and 255 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 4: they don't understand that this. You know, this can get 256 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 4: you through college. Being a good football player gets you 257 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 4: through college. I'm sorry, being good at football would get 258 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 4: you through. But being a football player is how you 259 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 4: have a Hall of Fame career, or you just have 260 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 4: a career where you don't have issues. You know, because 261 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 4: when you're just good at something, then you know you 262 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 4: have a lot of other things that you're probably trying 263 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 4: to like fit into that lifestyle, but that is your lifestyle. 264 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 3: It's interesting, you know. 265 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 2: I Chris Long on this podcast and he said I've 266 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 2: done Yeah, I played football, played football, played football, and. 267 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 3: He said my advice the players would be like, you know. 268 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 2: He jumped right in to doing his podcast and he goes, 269 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 2: I didn't get a chance to really learn who Chris 270 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 2: Long was right, And it's pretty much what you're saying, 271 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: right if like, hey, don't even wait till it's over, 272 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 2: early on, learn who you are, Like, learn about yourself. 273 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 3: Is that what you're saying. 274 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 4: Yes, thing about being in any professional sport I feel like, 275 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 4: but mainly football, I guess is you are. It's kind 276 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 4: of like stunt your growth because you have everything that's 277 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 4: usually taking care. You don't have to do anything you 278 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 4: don't There's certain things that you either appoint people to 279 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 4: do and you just don't do. And so when that 280 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 4: life's time is cut short, if it's thirty five, twenty 281 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 4: five or thirty nine or forty, your peers are usually 282 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 4: you know, they got families, they got they know how 283 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 4: to like they know how to do build like they 284 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 4: have they know a lot of more life skills, or 285 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 4: they might have a lot more life skills experienced than 286 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 4: you do. And then you're kind of left with, like, 287 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 4: what the hell do I do? Because no matter how 288 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,839 Speaker 4: much money you have or how little money you have, 289 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 4: you still don't have a purpose in a way. You know, 290 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 4: you might not know what it is that you really 291 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 4: enjoyed because you've been doing something for twenty plus years 292 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 4: and so it's over and now I'm like, and so 293 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 4: what I try to talk to the guys about is 294 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 4: instead of using that after practice time for the call 295 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 4: of duty or the two K you know, try and 296 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 4: like maybe figure out what it is that you like 297 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 4: outside of that. 298 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 2: Right is it also is a pushing Also, Hey, guys, 299 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 2: lean in the therapist. Start working on yourself that way. 300 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 2: I don't know how it was for you back then, 301 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 2: but I think it's it's certainly more more accepting now 302 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 2: than it was. 303 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 3: And you're ads you were playing especially early on. Yeah, 304 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 3: something you're pushing. 305 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 4: I don't know if pushing is it, but it's more 306 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 4: And so it's about being honest with yourself. And so 307 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 4: by being honest with yourself if okay, I'm not feeling 308 00:14:54,800 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 4: this way today, have somebody you can have that diet with. 309 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 4: And if you don't have anybody, then hopefully you can 310 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 4: have a conversation within that is honest, that you can 311 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 4: get the answers and then take the steps and some 312 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 4: other things. I mean, it's if you're gonna have people 313 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 4: around you, because I'm like trying to I'm being you know, 314 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 4: real about it. If you're gonna have ten girls that 315 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 4: you choose to hang around, let at least eight of 316 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 4: those be for you, you know, And that's just real because 317 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 4: it's it's for you helping you get to where you're 318 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 4: trying to go. You don't have to hide from that. 319 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 4: You can be your true self that you can talk 320 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 4: to that that can be an asset instead of somebody 321 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 4: who you have to show off how much you got 322 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 4: and how much like that you have to show off for. 323 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 4: Because when you have ten, then they're gonna be gone 324 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 4: and you're gonna be left with, you know, the same 325 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 4: person that was walking in there. 326 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 2: I think that's interesting because you're not saying these guys, hey, 327 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 2: go be a choirboy, don't be with women. If you're 328 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 2: gonna live that this ball or life they want to live. 329 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 2: You're even kind of giving them skills within that lifestyle. 330 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 2: At least help yourself here, let them let it, let 331 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 2: it help you grow in a certain way, which I 332 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 2: think is interesting because most people go, Nope, can't live 333 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 2: that lifestyle. Women don't deal with them. They're just gonna 334 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 2: fuck you up. And you know, all these these sharks are. 335 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 3: Going to take your here. 336 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 2: So I think that's the first time I ever heard 337 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 2: it that way, which pretty interesting. 338 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, because that advice doesn't work, and telling somebody not 339 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 4: to do something doesn't work. 340 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, what advice do you wish this Alden Smith could 341 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 2: have given Alden Smith when the wheels started coming off? 342 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 4: I think the wheels needed to come off, wow, because 343 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 4: of where I am now. 344 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 3: Wow. 345 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 4: And I don't think I get to be here without 346 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 4: them coming off. 347 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 3: So you're telling them to give yourself a little grace 348 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 3: for instead of beating up on yourself for it. 349 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, I let that period be that period, 350 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 4: and I'm fortunate enough to have gone through that because 351 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 4: it gives me perspective on how things feel. Because you 352 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 4: can't tell somebody how to overcome something if you've never 353 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 4: dealt with it in that way you were. 354 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 2: You were talking about difference between a football player and 355 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,200 Speaker 2: being good at football. There's a player I was training 356 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: who told them straight out. I said, hey, man, I 357 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 2: heard you. You don't like football. 358 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 3: He said nope. And I said, well, I. 359 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,399 Speaker 2: Think our train's too hard unless you love football. And 360 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 2: he said, well I don't. I said, I don't think 361 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 2: we're right for you. Well you know, what, can I 362 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,880 Speaker 2: get you to love being great at football? 363 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,959 Speaker 3: And he said I could do that. 364 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, if my point of you is, 365 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 2: can you if you're great at football, can you get 366 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 2: guys to change over to be a great football player if. 367 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 4: You're good at playing football? Right? Right, it's two kinds 368 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 4: of different things, right, I'll say for me it was, 369 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 4: and I think for some some some people it is 370 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 4: because it's not your priority. You know, like if you're 371 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 4: good at it, then it's not like this is what 372 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 4: you live, sleep and this is where you, this is 373 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 4: where you, this is what you're into. You know, like 374 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,920 Speaker 4: you can like it and you can be good at it. 375 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 4: But like most of the time, people don't get a 376 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 4: chance to discover their other gifts. You know, you start 377 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 4: some people start football at such an early age that 378 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 4: you don't get to develop. If you see if you 379 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 4: can draw, or if you can sing, or if you 380 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 4: can and it's not popular, it's not cool, it's not 381 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 4: gonna get you the bag. You're you're not as confident 382 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 4: as you are in this, then you are in that. 383 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 4: You know. It all goes back to like that relationship 384 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 4: with yourself. If you've only been put in this lane 385 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 4: and you excel at that, you don't even discover these 386 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 4: other lanes. 387 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 2: I love that, dude, I really I love it. You're 388 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,439 Speaker 2: right because making you more of a complete person. If 389 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 2: you're a complete person, and if you want to be 390 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,439 Speaker 2: a football player, you can be more complete football player. 391 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 2: But like you said, if you realize it's not the 392 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,719 Speaker 2: laying everyone in the world has put me in that box, 393 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 2: it's not the box that I want to be in, 394 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 2: then I can give you more strength to step out 395 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 2: of that box despite what we all may thic. 396 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 4: Well, another thing is a lot of times when you're 397 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 4: in that setting of the football all the tough guy, 398 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 4: it goes along with that progression thing. You don't allow empathy, 399 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 4: you don't allow, you don't you don't allow yourself to 400 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 4: be cared about, and you don't care about others because 401 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 4: you're so used to that gladiator mentality that you supposed 402 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 4: to be are supposed to have that you put walls 403 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 4: up and you block off things that might be there 404 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 4: to help you. It's hard to accept help. By the 405 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 4: time you get to the league and you need a therapist, 406 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 4: you're so your mind that it's not gonna happen. 407 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 3: Man, it's fat. 408 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 2: You know again, I know you're probably better than most people. 409 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 2: It's fascinating and that what I'm fascinating is you do 410 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 2: constantly evolve and it's it's constant growth. And like you're saying, like, 411 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 2: it's got to be some hard times in it to grow. 412 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 2: But you know, it's funny because the rest of us 413 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 2: don't want those hard times. 414 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,640 Speaker 3: Try adversity and I need them, right. 415 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 4: Adversity is necessary. 416 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 3: It's a gift. 417 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 4: And I'm telling you, like it's I'm kind of getting 418 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 4: into this thing where people are like, you're trying to 419 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 4: help people. I don't like seeing change, but to get 420 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 4: over a hump brow grow right, And unfortunately I believe 421 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 4: like it unless you have a reason to and a 422 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 4: reason that I can't give to you like, it's going 423 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 4: to be difficult to get you to you know, Like 424 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 4: I went through hell. So I kept hitting my head 425 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,159 Speaker 4: and hitting my head and that's you know. And so 426 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 4: the first time I hit my head, I want think 427 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,680 Speaker 4: about changing, you know what I mean? The third time 428 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 4: I want think about changing. And so it took like damn, 429 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 4: this is important because I don't want to hit my head. See, 430 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 4: people haven't hit their head enough. So how you're gonna 431 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 4: tell somebody that hasn't hit their head enough that they 432 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 4: need to change? 433 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 2: You keep bang your head against the wall head again, right, 434 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 2: right and over For some rights, they're saying, Samdia is 435 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 2: doing the same thing over and over again. Open the changes, 436 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,160 Speaker 2: right or something along those lines. Give me something else 437 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 2: that you want to teach these players about some of 438 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 2: the pitfalls. But there's another message for them. I mean, 439 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 2: we spoke about it, but it's it's you. 440 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,120 Speaker 3: What about the money issue. 441 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 4: I'm gonna say this on that. On the what I 442 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 4: have to say to the players and every anybody is 443 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 4: you know right now. Instagram was just coming out when 444 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 4: I started, and so the likes in the it wasn't 445 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 4: that big of a deal. And so the external factors 446 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,119 Speaker 4: were more like the coaches and the teammates and the 447 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 4: girls and stuff like that. But now with it being 448 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:27,479 Speaker 4: the way it is, it's important that like the enter 449 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 4: relationship has to be that much more, you know, together, 450 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 4: because if you're you know, checking your likes instead of 451 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 4: your your coach's notes, you know, it's you're not really 452 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 4: it's gonna be You're gonna get you might have an 453 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 4: awesome game and somebody might not like it, and then 454 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,120 Speaker 4: you're all on your head, you know what I mean. 455 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 4: And so it's important that the external validation like it's 456 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 4: gonna be there, but like, don't let that be your 457 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: sole focus of determining if you're good or bad. Like 458 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 4: it's all right, and so like I just want to 459 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,679 Speaker 4: like have that type of dialogue with people poor just 460 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 4: because of I know how much I know where my 461 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,399 Speaker 4: mind goes when I focus on what their thinking. 462 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, it's interesting you said that because and I 463 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 2: never heard it said that way, Like, hey, your coach 464 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 2: is good, so everybody just you know, every player gets 465 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,440 Speaker 2: graded out by their coaches every game, And you're right, 466 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 2: you could have a never dude, I never even thought 467 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 2: about this until just now. You could have a great 468 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 2: grade by your coaches. But if some dick bags are 469 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 2: hitting you on fucking Twitter and just telling you what 470 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:35,920 Speaker 2: a ship, how fucking much you suck, that voice becomes 471 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 2: louder than really the people who matter and all that. 472 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 3: I don't know how. 473 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,479 Speaker 2: I don't know what the answer is to get people 474 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 2: to realize that see it like they don't matter. Look, 475 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 2: I think also like, like, I'm emotional, My feeling hurt. 476 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 2: You know, my feelings get hurt easily, very easily. All 477 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 2: that has been around a lot of players are feeling. 478 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 2: They're very emotional. Your feelings get hurt just because you're 479 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 2: rich in fantis don't mean our feelings hurt less. But 480 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 2: I've never heard said that. 481 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 6: How do we get guys to not put as much 482 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 6: stock into that comment on Instagram or Twitter and put 483 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 6: more stock into the people who do matter. 484 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,719 Speaker 4: They have to do more work on finding out who 485 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 4: they truly are, because the more you know who you are, 486 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 4: the less you care about what they talk about. That's 487 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 4: that's my that's my solution. 488 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 2: What's the biggest thing you've done to find out where 489 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:27,959 Speaker 2: you are? 490 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 4: Making it a priority? You know, like and by that 491 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,239 Speaker 4: when you want something, nothing can really stop you from 492 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 4: getting it like it, and it's like, that's the honest 493 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 4: truth is, people. I wanted a better life, but I 494 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,919 Speaker 4: didn't do the things necessary consistently to put myself in 495 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 4: a position to get that, And so I had to 496 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 4: come into this whole thing with a childlike approach, meaning 497 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 4: listening and being vulnerable and taking direction and things I 498 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 4: might not agree with, things I might be biased about. 499 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 4: But since I've heard it's good, since I've read it works, 500 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 4: I mean, go ahead and put that in instead of 501 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 4: the my consistent line of cycle of whatever I'm interested in. 502 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 4: And I started doing that and doing that and doing that, 503 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 4: and it's working. 504 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 2: I think a lot of times, you know, we have 505 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 2: to go through war like until I kind of two 506 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 2: years ago, remember I did. 507 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 3: I took this journey to Thailand for like thirty five days. 508 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 3: I'm dealing with these monks and man like I've always 509 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 3: kind of been. 510 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 2: At war with a universe of like like I'm a 511 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 2: big god guy, as you know, but like, man, why 512 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 2: am I on loved? Why am I unlovable? Why do 513 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 2: all this shit happen to me? And kind of woar 514 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,120 Speaker 2: was me thinking? And then wasn't it until like there's 515 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 2: like twenty days and working with these fucking bunks and 516 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:03,439 Speaker 2: finally like like hey, almost like the universe. And God 517 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 2: said to me, like you needed to feel this pain 518 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,680 Speaker 2: so you can help others through theirs. 519 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,879 Speaker 3: Not even for me, but I think you know me, 520 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 3: what gets me. 521 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: In off is helping others, being of service to everybody 522 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,920 Speaker 2: else but me. It was really the first time, like wow, 523 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: I kind of get it now. At the same time, 524 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,120 Speaker 2: they said to me, but we need you to see 525 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 2: that we made all your other dreams come true to 526 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 2: keep you afloat, And I think that I've come to 527 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 2: peace with that pain. 528 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like, well, it's not fair, But for. 529 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 2: The most part now I'm like, hey, I get it now, 530 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 2: and I'm glad I could be of service. 531 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 3: Where are you with your pain? 532 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 4: It's a good question. I'll say, I let it when 533 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,359 Speaker 4: I feel it. I don't try to push it away. 534 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,399 Speaker 4: I think for me, I don't have that refill. I 535 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:59,399 Speaker 4: don't have that person that I can really have a 536 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:03,479 Speaker 4: dialogue with consistently to maybe give me something of what 537 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 4: I think I need or what I'm what I'm maybe 538 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,360 Speaker 4: looking for. And that's like a it's like a positive 539 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 4: and a negative because what ends up happening is I 540 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,360 Speaker 4: end up just having to search more and do more 541 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 4: internal work to try to find out what the solution is. 542 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 4: But the pain is the pain. I think, if anything, 543 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 4: what I've been able to do with those people those 544 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 4: incidences is I don't like saying forgive, but I understand it. 545 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 4: I get it, Like I understand where they were coming from. 546 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 4: I understand what they didn't know, you know, Like there's 547 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 4: so much that factors into it. It doesn't make it okay, 548 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 4: it doesn't make it, you know, but it's it's one 549 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 4: of those things of like I've hurt people too, you know, 550 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 4: I've done wrong too. I've made mistakes too. It's when 551 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 4: I get a chance to interact again if I do 552 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:05,639 Speaker 4: with those people or whoever, I choose not to bring 553 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 4: that with me into that and in the new relationships. 554 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 4: And that's not into me. That's just relationships in general. 555 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,480 Speaker 4: I don't bring I just I'm mean, you know, I 556 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 4: think a lot of times in relationships in the past, 557 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 4: I know I've you know, trauma bonding or whatever the 558 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 4: case may be, where you know, you want somebody who's 559 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 4: gone through what you've been through and all that, and 560 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,239 Speaker 4: it's like that's you do maybe want that, but at 561 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 4: the same time, you maybe don't want that because that's 562 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 4: too unheeled. People connecting and who knows that can either 563 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 4: go this way or that way. And so I just 564 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 4: try to be I don't try to be anything. 565 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 3: I just be. 566 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,239 Speaker 4: I'm mean and if it's and if as long as 567 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 4: I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing, 568 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 4: the person that I'm presenting should be somebody be black. 569 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 2: Do you have regrets? No, that's exactly what I wanted 570 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 2: to hear. Oh, that's what I was hoping to hear. 571 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 2: I didn't know where you're gonna go with it. No, 572 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 2: I think no, because it's your journey. 573 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 3: It's where we are right like and again, but now 574 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,960 Speaker 3: you're using the tail brothers. Now I'm using it to 575 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:09,160 Speaker 3: help others. 576 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 4: I was just going to say, like, with the regrets 577 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 4: and with the thinking about the pain and everything that happened, 578 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 4: it takes away from where you're supposed to be looking 579 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 4: and that's forward. You know, when you're looking forward and 580 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 4: you're in your lane, you don't see, you don't hear 581 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 4: the people talking shit on the outside. You're not thinking 582 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 4: about what happened to me when I was twelve. You're 583 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 4: focused on this, and that helped that saying that's that 584 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 4: external shit, that's that's the noise, and that's why you know, 585 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 4: as I was in my progression matter and I'm now 586 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 4: I'm in the league, and I got all this pulling 587 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 4: me this way, that way and that way. You know, 588 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,520 Speaker 4: I got the trauma, the oh, the self stid like 589 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 4: and it's just doing this and I'm still trying to 590 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 4: do this, but like I can't cause I'm how can I? 591 00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 4: And so it's like, okay, now now we're good, because 592 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 4: there's only one way to go. Yeah, it doesn't matter 593 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 4: if you think this is good or not. I believe 594 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 4: it's gonna you know. 595 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 2: And so look, we all progressive certain things, but not 596 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 2: to the point you want to talking about it is 597 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 2: like now, I think that's a big part of anyone's 598 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 2: growth is anxiety, is when we beat up on ourselves 599 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 2: for things in the past and when we're worried about 600 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: either doing the same thing or something else in the future, 601 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 2: instead of just living in this moment and looking forward. 602 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,400 Speaker 2: As you're saying, I think that's great, I was, you know, 603 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 2: it's something I'm still working on I still think I'm 604 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 2: you know, working on healing some of those things from 605 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 2: from the past, you know. 606 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 4: And let me say this, like I am in no 607 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 4: way a finished product, and so like I'm right there 608 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 4: with you in the healing thing. And that's another reason why, 609 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:47,320 Speaker 4: like I started doing the art and in letting other 610 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 4: people see it because. 611 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 3: Very talented me. 612 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 4: In a thank you, it gave me an avenue. I 613 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 4: really appreciate it. It gave me an avenue to let 614 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 4: out to express myself and then there's a lot of 615 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 4: different ways to do it. 616 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 2: I was very and you know what, I always made 617 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 2: a point too to make sure you knew I was 618 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 2: proud of you for that. That it wasn't just proud 619 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 2: of the football thing or the journey that we were on. 620 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 2: I always knew that, hey, that was what my friend needs. 621 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 2: That's like what he'd appreciate. But I did really like 622 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 2: I meant it like Man's I was Friday for it. 623 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 4: I just want you to know that I don't know, 624 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 4: I appreciate that, you know. 625 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 2: And I look back to we did pull off something 626 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 2: though that is unprecedented. Regardless, I mean I met oh, 627 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 2: he was homeless and we were hanging after a while. 628 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 3: He was part of our charity. 629 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,840 Speaker 2: MVP, and it wasn't until he said, Hey, it's my fault. 630 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 2: I'm the reason I'm in this situation. And I said 631 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 2: to him, everyone wanted to play in the league. Ina 632 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 2: He's like, ah, I've been out for four years, it's 633 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 2: not gonna happen. I'm like, bro, I pulled off crazier shit, 634 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 2: and man, I'll just never forget like that first game 635 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 2: you against the Rams, just my away from where you 636 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 2: were living in a shelter, you know, and you were homeless. 637 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 3: Now you're sitting there on you know, natural TV and 638 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 3: end up smashing the Rabs. 639 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 2: Know that that that game, Uh, you know, Meil, I 640 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 2: kind of do kind of wild ship. 641 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 3: And I am proud that you and I walked to 642 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 3: walk together do something like that. 643 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 2: I hope even though you, hey, didn't want to really play, 644 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 2: I hope that you can appreciate that I did something 645 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 2: that really has never been done before. 646 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 4: Now. I'm grateful for honestly everybody that was a part 647 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 4: of that process, and especially at the gym. I mean, 648 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 4: you you know, zag Jason, Justed. I've always wanted to 649 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 4: have that family, like that's what That's what attracted me 650 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 4: to go to Missou. That's what I loved about the Niners, 651 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 4: And that's what I've always wanted because I didn't, you know, 652 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 4: have that and so those are people and you know, 653 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 4: that's an experience I you know, I hold it in 654 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 4: my heart. 655 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 2: And folks, it wasn't even just training old and we 656 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 2: trained like a fire and we had. 657 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 3: Him holy shit, we we had him as a human weapon. 658 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 2: But it was also doing things like we had him 659 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 2: reading to kids at night on Zoom, Like it was 660 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 2: being a complete person to get you back there, and 661 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 2: that's what you could see it, like, I'm not just 662 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 2: trying to get Oh, I'm going to train a guy 663 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 2: to have be bigger, stronger, faster. It's so much more 664 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 2: than that. And that's the thing for me. When I 665 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 2: would talk to these teams, I'm like, you don't understand them, 666 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 2: Like the heart that lurks behind this guy's ribcage is 667 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 2: way more loving than anybody knows. 668 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,880 Speaker 3: You wouldn't show it, you wouldn't let people know. 669 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 2: But when we did get to see glimpses like that, 670 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 2: I think, man, that's your equity. Moving forward to showing 671 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 2: these players as. 672 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 4: Well, I'll say this because because what what that what 673 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 4: that experience, you know, me and and and getting out 674 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 4: of maybe my comfort zone and talking to a group 675 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 4: of strangers that that had a different view of me. 676 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 4: It helped me get over that anxiety that that they're 677 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 4: not gonna care, they're gonna judge you. All of that 678 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 4: just noise that gets in the way of you opening 679 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 4: up and maybe blocking somebody that could be there to 680 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 4: help you out. You might have the same story as you. 681 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 4: Darn't even think about that. 682 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 2: It's gotta be a little tough to you to walk 683 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:29,400 Speaker 2: around going automatically thinking this person's gonna see me as 684 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 2: the olden smith who's fucked up, say the olden Smith's trial. 685 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,640 Speaker 4: I don't know if that was necessarily my narrative. I 686 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 4: think it was just overall like situation of a situation 687 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 4: of a situation and then just not knowing what I'm doing, 688 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:51,280 Speaker 4: where I'm going, and then having all of the just 689 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 4: cycle of I just call it a cycle of shit. 690 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 3: I like to just call for what it is to 691 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,160 Speaker 3: be a clinical. 692 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,640 Speaker 2: Term right from straight up yeah, before I let you 693 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 2: go tell them what you're doing now. 694 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:09,400 Speaker 4: So aside from the speaking, I just dropped a I'm doing. 695 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 4: I'm putting the images that I've made on clothing. So 696 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,839 Speaker 4: right now I'm doing this zodiac collection where I have 697 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 4: the zodiac signs. They're right, Gemini was last month, we're 698 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 4: in cancer now, and so I put you know, they 699 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 4: have like ruling planet and the characteristics, and they have 700 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 4: a spirit animal or something. I put them all into 701 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 4: a picture and put it on a shirt. And so 702 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 4: once again like it has meaning, and so like the 703 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 4: shirt will it highlights the what this person is about. 704 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 4: If you're born during this, this is what you know. 705 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,279 Speaker 4: You have that you might not know. This is what 706 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 4: you know. It's a way of giving somebody some Hey, 707 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 4: I feel good about myself, you know hey, and it 708 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 4: feels good and it looks good. 709 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,440 Speaker 3: What are you doing with your art work right now? 710 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,800 Speaker 3: With your drunks my drawings? 711 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,439 Speaker 4: Yeah? Oh nothing right now? 712 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 2: I mean the way expressing yourself too, because there's a 713 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,279 Speaker 2: way you're expressing yourself for your art work. It's fantastic. 714 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 2: Did you see the let me pull this hold on? 715 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,560 Speaker 2: We've seen this that I'm working on. 716 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:19,319 Speaker 3: Oh no, I like that, Yeah, I get it. That's great. Now. 717 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,840 Speaker 2: Most people can't see this. It's it's an audio, but 718 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 2: describe what it is total. Yeah, yeah, but that's my fault. 719 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,399 Speaker 2: I probably should have sold you going in. 720 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 4: Never find. But so this is the Zodiac theme is 721 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 4: what I'm on right now. And like it's cool shirts, 722 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 4: it's cool different pictures and images, but that's just this one. 723 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,759 Speaker 4: I'm gonna in the future be doing something like the 724 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 4: next one's reflections and so it is a person that's 725 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 4: looking into the mirror and the reflection shows something different, 726 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 4: and it's how we see ourselves at different times of 727 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,680 Speaker 4: our life. You know, I might look in the mirror 728 00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 4: as grown up and see a little boy, vice versa. 729 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 4: I might be a little kid and I might see 730 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 4: a grown up because I've had to grow up fast 731 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 4: and because you know, I don't have a mom and 732 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,359 Speaker 4: dad that's there for me. I gotta, you know, take 733 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,799 Speaker 4: care of myself. And so it's a way for me 734 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 4: telling my story through art. 735 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 3: Where where do people find. 736 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 4: That I am Zodiac And that's just I am Zodiac. 737 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 4: Dot com is where this collection, the current collection that 738 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 4: I'm working on is at all the. 739 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,080 Speaker 2: Smiths man I am. I told you from day one, 740 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 2: I'm proud to walk this walk with you. I told 741 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 2: you always would no matter what, and we still are, man, 742 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,319 Speaker 2: and I'm proud and dude, you you've been there for 743 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 2: me a lot also, man, and I'm proud for you 744 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,840 Speaker 2: being there for me, proud of you checking up on me, 745 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,879 Speaker 2: and I'm proud of you making sure that I get 746 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,319 Speaker 2: out of some spirals. Man. 747 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,319 Speaker 4: I appreciate it. I want to tell you, man, like 748 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,759 Speaker 4: it's it's so cool seeing like just this version of you, 749 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 4: and like it's honestly kind of like I'm kind of 750 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,879 Speaker 4: like waiting for the bottle dup. I'm kind of like waiting, like, hey, hey, 751 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 4: you know, like you know is is you know, where's 752 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 4: jay At? But it's it's you're you can tell that 753 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 4: you're you're in a different space and that like it's 754 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 4: something that is where you want to be at. And 755 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,600 Speaker 4: that's what I want for people. And I'm happy that 756 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 4: my friend gets to experience that. 757 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 3: I love you, man, Thank you dude. 758 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 2: But you know what, it goes back to what you said, 759 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,879 Speaker 2: like we know how to work at things and work 760 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,480 Speaker 2: at things, and I knew the thing I was missing 761 00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,840 Speaker 2: was love, and I worked at it and worked at 762 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,720 Speaker 2: it and worked into God, I worked it and finally 763 00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 2: after fifty four years, I have it and and it's 764 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 2: the first time I have it where I don't we're 765 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,839 Speaker 2: not going to sabotage it, trying not to where I 766 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,759 Speaker 2: think it's real and it's not going to leave, and 767 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,920 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm deserving of it, which I just 768 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,880 Speaker 2: never I'm getting used to being deserved to it as that, because, 769 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 2: like you said, I'm a work in progress too. 770 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,719 Speaker 3: But it's good man, you were you never got frustrated 771 00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:51,920 Speaker 3: with me. 772 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 2: Dude, you are what was there for me and and 773 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 2: I think you appreciate it too, how much I felt 774 00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 2: I needed to be there for you and what I 775 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 2: needed there for my soul. 776 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 3: So you did get me on a different level than 777 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:03,759 Speaker 3: most man. 778 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 4: So I love him for that. Man, I appreciate it. 779 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 4: I appreciate you. Thanks for having like this is a 780 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 4: good conversation. 781 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely, dude. 782 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 2: Well you know again, we're going to continue them offline 783 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,479 Speaker 2: quite a bit, right, definitely, all right, Love you, brother, 784 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,760 Speaker 2: Alden Smith, walking us walk together.