1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, and welcome to Katie's Crib. In this episode, 2 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: we are talking about going back to work, guys. For 3 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: a lot of parents, this is just it is a huge, big, 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: monumental decision to make. Am I going back to work? 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: When am I going back to work? How do I 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 1: go back to work? Will my baby forget who I am? 7 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: And if you're lucky, you were able to take a 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: maternity leave, but it just never feels like enough time. 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: So more than half of new moms go back to 10 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: work before their babies turn one, and it can be 11 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: a very tough transition for everybody in the household. So 12 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna talk to June Diane Raphael and she stops 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: by and shares her experiences of going back to work 14 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: after she had her kids. Then we're talking to a 15 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: labor and employment attorney, Janet Swerdlow, and she breaks it down, 16 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: you know what kind of legal rights expecting and new 17 00:00:54,840 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: parents have in the workplace. So let's get started. Hi everybody, 18 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: and welcome to Katie's crib. I am here with my 19 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: dear friend June Raphael. We went to college together, did 20 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: Katie lived. We also were in scene study classes together 21 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,680 Speaker 1: like years ago. Did you forget Katie. I have literally 22 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: blocked that out with Richard, with Richard and Doucuez, Nick Douez, 23 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: guys were like scene study classes I've taken, though, like 24 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: I feel like l A is not a great place 25 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: for serious actor training. June, I'm pretty sure that that 26 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: scene we did in that scene class might still go 27 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: down to some of the best acting I've ever done. 28 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: And no one I remember what was it. I really 29 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: don't know. Um, we are here talking to June about 30 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: they were professional actors at that point. I mean, you 31 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: were more than me and like just doing like seed 32 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: work on the side. We are another close. I feel 33 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: the same I am, and you have all The podcast 34 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: is going to go because Jude and I are friendship. 35 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: We talk over each other a lot. I'm so sorry. 36 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: I also forgetting it's an audio medium. Um, So can 37 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: you do me a favor for those who don't. Can 38 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: you take us back to before you had kids? Like, 39 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: take us through just like what a day would look 40 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: like before you threw kids into the mix. Can you 41 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:31,679 Speaker 1: remember barely? I feel like I like went for walks 42 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: and yeah, I remember. What I remember the most is 43 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: my weekends. Yeah, people, I think don't understand that when 44 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: you're a parent, Like Friday night is Sunday night for me, 45 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: Like Friday night is like Sunday nights when it's like, oh, 46 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: I get to go to vacation tomorrow, meaning work. It 47 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: really is true. Yeah, like the weekends, like let's like 48 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: all right, let's go. We gotta fill up our day. 49 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: We got to like make it to birthday parties, down 50 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: the naps, yeah, and just drive through it all you 51 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: have too. I have two children, and what are their ages? 52 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 1: Four years? Just as if a few weeks ago and 53 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: one months? What is twenty one months? I don't know, 54 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: is it? Okay? It's under two years? Just under two years, okay, 55 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: So they're pretty close in age. They pretty close in age. 56 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: I mean you sort of bang that out. I did. 57 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: I did, which I I recommend, although it was insane 58 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: for a year. But now I'm seeing the fruits of that, 59 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: Like I'm seeing that they connect. We're in a really 60 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: good time right now. That's good. Caught me in a 61 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: good in a good in a good season. What would 62 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: you describe your work life balance before you had kids? 63 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean, Like I feel like 64 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: I think when you're an actor trying to be an 65 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: actor or whatever it is out there that you're trying 66 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: to do, you spend a lot of your hours getting 67 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: after that. But then also you would what spend your 68 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: weekend ends or Friday nights. We're going to say anything 69 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: that's that revolutionary, But I'm shocked at how much time 70 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: I wasted. And I think that being a working mother 71 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: who's creative is a really interesting challenge because there are 72 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: times where I'm like, no, I have to procrastinate. I 73 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: have to It's not like I'm sitting down and doing 74 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: Excel sheets, do you know what I mean? Like, if 75 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about something, or you know, Casey and I 76 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: write together, if we're pitching on whatever, there's got to 77 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: be a certain amount of time built in in the 78 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: creative process to funk around absolutely, to talk about everything 79 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,119 Speaker 1: that's not related to what we should be talking about, 80 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: because it might come out of that right, because that's 81 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: the process. And yet when you're a working parents, you're like, well, 82 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: I only have so many hours to work. I gotta 83 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: get it done. But the creative process is not that box. 84 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 1: Think about that. It's a little hard to give myself 85 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: permission to just I mean I've never done this. I 86 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: don't even know why. This is what I would like 87 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: to do, to be like, oh, you know today, I'm 88 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: gonna go see a movie. I've never heard of it. 89 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: I don't even watch TV anymore. It's horrifying and I 90 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: only have a seven month old. I mean, does that change? 91 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: Will I get better? Will I ever watch TV again? Well? 92 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 1: Is he sleeping through the night? He's put down? Okay, 93 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: So because you get your nights back to a certain extent, 94 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: and then I think you start to lose them again. 95 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: Like I'm starting to like Gus is now going about 96 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: like eight as opposed to seven, and I'm like, oh, 97 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: he's creeping in, scrapping into your nighttime. Um, when you 98 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: had your first kid, did you take time off? How 99 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: much time? Did you feel pressure to go back to 100 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: work very quickly? So when I had my first I 101 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: auditioned for Grace and Frankie at three weeks postpartum. What yes, wait, 102 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: what I know that? And I was still in my 103 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: you know, as Ali Wang says, like the candies you 104 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: were still in like your nice diaper that comes along 105 00:05:55,960 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 1: with a very difficult birth. I was really recovering. So 106 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 1: Casey got married two weeks after I gave birth and 107 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: I was her maid of honor. So I had this wedding. 108 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: Not kidding, we loved Casey, but seriously, no, I regret 109 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: not fully being present for that wedding, you know what 110 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: I mean. I was there, but I was like, I 111 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: was like um weeken with Bernie's Like I felt it 112 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: was like being moved around in sunglasses. Yeah, pretty much. 113 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 1: It was not your assault, I know. And I just 114 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: felt like I was a witness more than I was 115 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: a participant. I was just in a crazy moment in 116 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: my life. So you guys, for those who don't know, 117 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: I'm referencing Casey, guests, former guests, and former friend but 118 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: and very good friend Junes. But also June has a phrase, 119 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: what do you call the first few months post baby? 120 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: She calls them the dark times, which when I first 121 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: had my son and we first spoke and I was 122 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: so in it, you were like, oh, yeah, you're in 123 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: the dark time, which you have labeled as I think 124 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: they are. It's night. It's that's a constant state of night, 125 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: and like it's just there's no beginning or end to 126 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: the night. It's all night. It's all night time. So 127 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: did you go back to work and c you were 128 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: auditioning quickly liked audition. That was the only thing I 129 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: was going to audition four because they like, I got 130 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: this script and I saw the part, and it's very interesting. 131 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes we read something that the lines come easily. So 132 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: I actually didn't spend much time for like memorizing the lines, 133 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: which I think is telling because it just was I 134 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I know how to do this. I 135 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: memorized them in like two minutes and went in when 136 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: I went. I remember going to the audition and it 137 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: was such a feat to get there, to go to 138 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: Paramount for my house. How did you leave your house? 139 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: And I was like breastfeeding and I was just like 140 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: I left. Was the first time when I left for 141 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: that audition that Gus had a bottle with breast milk 142 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: in it. And I was like, I don't know what's 143 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: going to happen. Who did you leave him with? Paul 144 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: your husband? My husband? How did you feel leaving and 145 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: getting behind? Because I feel like this is Paul was there, 146 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: My dad was there and with his girlfriend because he 147 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: had come to Casey's weddings, so he was there, and 148 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: so when I came back, they were I went to 149 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: the audition, I was again Bernie, you know, just like 150 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 1: going through My hair was in a bunch, giant but 151 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: at the top of my head, nice cute. But it 152 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: was all I could do, you know. And I did 153 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: this scene twice. I did both scenes one time each 154 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: and then left and was so proud. Was so not 155 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: about the audition, which was like, God, if I could 156 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: bring that into my other work, it was like the 157 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: least of my concerns, um And then I came back 158 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: and I were driving the top of our street and 159 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: I saw like us at three weeks old in the 160 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 1: baby carriage with my dad and Paul, and he was 161 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: so happy. By the way, my breastfeeding whole, like journey 162 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: with us was a disaster. And I realized now like 163 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: I was starving him because he had a full bottle 164 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: and was like the happiest ever been, so like the 165 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: first time I left him. I came back, I was like, oh, 166 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: I guess you've just been hungry. Guys. Breastfeeding literally is 167 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: the hardest thing in the entire world, you know what 168 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 1: I resent. I think I said this to Katie, but 169 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: like I Okay, the push in healthcare to get all 170 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: mom's breastfeeding, like yes, yes, yes, save for this. There's 171 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: no infrastructure to support it in the real world. There 172 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 1: is no like every public space, sorry I'm screaming, I 173 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: love it, scream away should have a private lactation area 174 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:53,239 Speaker 1: in this contrary period period, every public space, every workspace, 175 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, So thank you. So that's 176 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,680 Speaker 1: how I feel about that, which is like, how dare 177 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,199 Speaker 1: you push women so hard, from their doctors, to their 178 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: pediatric stands, to every sort of like resource that's out there, 179 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: that this is the best thing and then provide no 180 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: support in the world for it. It's criminal. So I 181 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: struggled through it and had bought into like, oh, there's 182 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: no other way. I can't give bottles. Well you can, 183 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: well you can, well you can um and they're great. 184 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: So pretty early on you got behind the wheel of 185 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: a car and drove and left your house and like 186 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: became a presentable human being. And do you remember I 187 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 1: can remember the first time leaving and driving back being 188 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: like I'm a mom, Like that's my identity. Now as 189 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: I walk through this world and I don't know who 190 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: the fucking hell I am, Like it's so weird, and 191 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: now I don't even remember those times, like at all? 192 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: Did you, um, what was your help? Assistance, babysitter, family, 193 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: husband at home? What has been your infrastructure? I'm curious 194 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 1: from baby one to baby two, from what I can tell, 195 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: child raising with all the help, if you're a working mother, 196 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: it just turns into a crap ton of logistics people's 197 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: So how tell me about finding help and nanny? How 198 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: did that make you feel? Was that a decision that 199 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: you and Paul had made previous too? Yeah, we did, 200 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: but with such little um education on what a work 201 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: the rights of domestic workers are and you know what 202 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 1: it is like doing employed to domestic workers in California 203 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: and just simply what you know, we were taking other 204 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: responsibilities we're taking on as employers, which I think a 205 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 1: lot of moms do not understand, and I wish there 206 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: was more education on there's a Domestic Rates Act the 207 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 1: past there are legally um like I've now printed out 208 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: that you know, my god, I don't know anything about 209 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: this right but because most moms don't, and you have 210 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: most moms, not most moms, but a lot of moms 211 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: are employers. And so I definitely struggled in that department 212 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 1: with I hired someone before I had the baby and 213 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: had no idea what I needed or wanted and was like, 214 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: do you know how to do cprs? She was like yeah, 215 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 1: I'm like my question was do you know? My question 216 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 1: was do you know how to handle a circumcision? Like 217 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: literally like and now people know I'll be circumcised. But 218 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: he is like, I was literally like do you know 219 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: how to handle that? Because like, I'm really freaked out 220 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: and don't want to deal with that. Great you do. 221 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaker 1: You're hired, no idea, no idea, no idea. And what 222 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: I found is so you didn't use like a nanny service. 223 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: I didn't. I ended out you did again and I 224 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: found um a nanny who I ended up doing that 225 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: because I had I made a misstep earlier on and 226 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: with the woman I hired was not the right fit personality, 227 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: how do you know? Just personality wise, reality wise? I 228 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 1: felt like I was a new mom. There was a 229 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: lot of judgment coming my way and I couldn't handle it. 230 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 1: She was not supportive of breastfeeding, and she made me 231 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: feel really badly and she would do like voices as gus. 232 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: She'd be like, I'm hungry, mom, what And I am 233 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: hungry and I was like, wait what And I will 234 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: say it wasn't the right fit, but I did try 235 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: to have many conversations with her. You know, here's the 236 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 1: thing I'll say about like bringing someone into your life 237 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: to support you. I really believe that there are so 238 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 1: many unbelievable domestic workers in nanny's who who make you know, 239 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 1: working mother's lives possible. And it's a beautiful relationship and 240 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: it's also professional relationship and should be treated as much. 241 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: And I think we live in a world where it's 242 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: like the work is devalued and so it is not 243 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:05,440 Speaker 1: given the professional treatment that it should be, and boundaries 244 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: are crossed and they don't have an h R department 245 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: to go to, and so you moms are like taking 246 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: on this thing that they don't even And I really 247 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: wish there was more support both for domestic workers and 248 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: for mothers and parents. You know, this should really be 249 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 1: a class. Like of course, like you know, in l A, 250 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: we're very fortunate and for you guys listening, like you know, 251 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 1: there are a lot of classes offered in childbirth. You know, 252 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: how to do a diaper, how to do a swaddle, 253 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: things like that, but there really are no classes offered 254 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: in how nanny, how to take care of a nanny, 255 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: how to really put boundaries up, like set yourself as 256 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: a leader, or I felt like whatever it is that 257 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: you know, it is a very very very interesting and tricky. 258 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: And I'm saying from both sides because I was a 259 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: nanny for from the other side too. I mean, I 260 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: wasn't a nanny, but it was a babysitter, and so 261 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: understand like it's a it's a domestic space you're walking into. 262 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: It's a very interesting thing to navigate. So I was 263 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: fortunate enough very early on. I mean, gus is only 264 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: three months to find the woman who I love and 265 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 1: a door and who I respect, and it has made 266 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: my life possible. And she's still with you, still with me, 267 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: would be with me till the day I dict um. 268 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:29,040 Speaker 1: She is wonderful. She is very very lucky to have her, 269 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 1: and she is truly both taken care of my children 270 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: and taken care of me in doing that. And the 271 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: thing that I find most important is my relationship with her. 272 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 1: It's like she's great with the kids, of course, but 273 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: I am so proud of the relationship we have that 274 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: we've worked on that you know, we had gone through 275 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: conflicts before that. Yeah, and we've had, like you know, 276 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 1: we do it a little less frequently now, but in 277 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: the beginning when it was just us and I didn't 278 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: have the second like we would have mean eating once 279 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: a month, Oh my god, I need to do that, 280 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 1: just like I want to hear how is this going 281 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: for you? What do there anything want to talk about? 282 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: Here's a couple of things that I want to talk about. 283 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 1: Like it's a job, it is. What was it like 284 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: the first time you ever left your home, your kid 285 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: to go to work, and how did you feel and 286 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: how did others make you feel? The first day I 287 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: went to work was on Grayson Frankie, and I had 288 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: a clugged duct. The first day I went to work 289 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 1: was on Grayson Frankie and I had a clugged duct, 290 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: mother fucker. And I was literal id for I've never 291 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: had one before, so I didn't know what was happening. 292 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: And I remember being in the makeup trail or just 293 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: like getting ready to a scene with Jane, and I 294 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: was like, my nipple is there was shooting pain. And 295 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: I was texting my lactation helper and she was like, 296 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: you must sterilize the needle and then pop it. I 297 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: had never and I've had four o'clocks I have. I'm sorry. Okay, 298 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: So it was what they call a bled What is that? 299 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 1: What is that? It's a little white thing. So I 300 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 1: was like, I can't do that. I'm working. So I worked. Yes, 301 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: I worked through the day. This breast, I'll never was 302 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,920 Speaker 1: a rock. It was a rock. I couldn't pump out 303 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: of it. It was shooting pain. Yeah. So then like 304 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: having to explain to the A D S like I 305 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: have to go pump and this is all when I 306 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: talk about like lactation rooms. It's also just educating people 307 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: like you have a working mother, you know. It's I 308 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: would get so fucking mad at the A d S. 309 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: They would get on their talkies and be like, um, 310 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,479 Speaker 1: June has to go do her thing, and then like 311 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: I'm not embarrassed about it. I'm going to pump breast milk, 312 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 1: like like where are we like breasted? Like this is 313 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: so stupid. Oh my god. I had such an I'm 314 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: so at all a D department. Oh my god. Now 315 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: I had support from I had support from other people 316 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 1: for sure, but like I felt a head to like 317 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 1: really navigate that with some of the just when you 318 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: said to Gus the first time, did it feel like 319 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: a thing or did it not even feel like a thing, 320 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: Like you were in work mode and it was like 321 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: easy for you or was it like dealing with that 322 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 1: rock hard breath so much pain? And then I went 323 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: home and the electrician filt and was like nurse and nurse, 324 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't. 325 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: And so he was liked like trying to get on 326 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,360 Speaker 1: the nipple, and I was just so I couldn't do it, 327 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 1: and of course I felt and I was like crying. 328 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 1: My mother in law was over and she had she 329 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: was she's an r N. She had the steriles like 330 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to you know, I'll do it for you. 331 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: And we sat in my bathroom and she put a 332 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: needle my nipple and I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then 333 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 1: the craziest thing happened. So if you can imagine this 334 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: tiniest stream of milk popping out of your nipple, like 335 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: but like projectile, steady, but like a pin, like so 336 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: thin like a pin, and I just had to empty it. Okay, 337 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: you guys, whatever, whatever, because it was like it could 338 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: you couldn't see it because it was like it would 339 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 1: be so small. It was, but it was a steady 340 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: stream that I had to forever, that I had to 341 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: get out leaving Gus. I mean, honestly, Katie, I don't 342 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,199 Speaker 1: even remember the moment. I remember it was like the 343 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: moment you're talking about the identity shift was. I think 344 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 1: he was probably like maybe four weeks old or so, 345 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: and the first night out Paul and I did, we 346 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: went to a Billy Joel was performing at Hollywood Bowl, 347 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,680 Speaker 1: and I remember that was our first night out and 348 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: sitting there and thinking, I will never be alone with 349 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: my own thoughts again. I will be me inside this 350 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: head of mine and then I'll be with him. And 351 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: it was this like I felt like I was being 352 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: split into It was really intense, and it was really 353 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,200 Speaker 1: an identity shift that I can only say, like you'll 354 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: go through. Maybe the last time was like puberty of like, oh, 355 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm not a baby anyhore right right now. I feel 356 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,959 Speaker 1: I have been with him forever. Difference that and I 357 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: felt like I had to really grieve that time alone 358 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: with myself. I remember, like I when I first had Albie, 359 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,239 Speaker 1: I really didn't connect to him, quickly, and so I 360 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: had a night nurse, and I felt bad because I 361 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: had had other friends that had had a night nurse, 362 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,119 Speaker 1: but they had after three nights, said you know what, 363 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: we don't need it. We don't want someone else in 364 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 1: our house, and we really we don't. Really, I want 365 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: to do this on my own. So I thought that 366 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: was my experience, and yet I didn't connect to Alby's 367 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: in the night nurse would come every night and I 368 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,679 Speaker 1: would happily pass him off right like I was like, 369 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: please take him. I don't like this. I don't know 370 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 1: what I'm doing. This is like literally the least fun 371 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,119 Speaker 1: I've ever had. This is the dark times, Okay. And 372 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: then at about six weeks I started to go back 373 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: to work slowly and we had our nanny and simultaneously, 374 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 1: it's kind of when I fell in love with Albie 375 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,360 Speaker 1: and I remember her giving him a bath and I 376 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: wanted to ring her fucking neck like like I just 377 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 1: was like the mama bear came out of me, like 378 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,120 Speaker 1: he's mine, he's mine, he's mine, it's my responsibility. I'm 379 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: supposed to be the one taking gear of him. You're 380 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 1: not supposed to be dank. Given that is since then 381 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 1: completely saving it. But at first I had a really 382 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,440 Speaker 1: hard time just watching somebody else take care of my kid. 383 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 1: Now I don't know if it's because my mom was 384 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 1: a stay at home mom and I felt like I 385 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: felt like she did a great job and I was 386 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: somewhat failing. It's a lot of the pressure we put 387 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: on herself. It's really have you found that judgment as 388 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 1: far as being a working mom and having your nanny 389 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: come with you places or yes, I think that's been 390 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 1: hard to navigate, but um, it gets it's gotten a 391 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: lot easier. And I will say have a very easy child. 392 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: I have a very easy older child, and the baby 393 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: is very like forgiving of me. So I haven't felt 394 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,400 Speaker 1: like I remember Gusts went through a period that where 395 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 1: I was working a lot where I would come home 396 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: and he would be angry with me, and I haven't 397 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 1: found that. Oh God, that is going to just break 398 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: my heart. Yeah, And he was like, withhold and now 399 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 1: you work for me. So so much of what I'm 400 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 1: realizing for myself is like I have to come in 401 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: on top and just say, you know, you're really mad 402 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: at me, You're really mad, and I can handle that, Like, 403 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: tell me more that's so you're really upset. Has he 404 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 1: ever ran to the run to the nanny over you? 405 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: Oh yeah? And like I know, we say in our heads, 406 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,160 Speaker 1: but that's good, right, because it's just good that more 407 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: people love your nanny. You don't want him to not 408 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 1: like your nanny, but like or your babysitter. But does 409 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: it break your heart at all? Of course. But I 410 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: think the flip side is a better way for me 411 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,679 Speaker 1: to handle it, which is, like you feel safe to 412 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: reject me. You can reject me because guess what, motherfucker, 413 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: I'm always here. That is a huge lesson. You can 414 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 1: reject me because I can handle it because I'm the 415 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,399 Speaker 1: big person and you're the little person. And I'm going 416 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: to put on my big girl pants and say like 417 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: it's only because you love me so much, and you 418 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:06,120 Speaker 1: know I'm so unconditionally loving, always here, So bring all 419 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,439 Speaker 1: of your bad feelings to me, like you feel safe. 420 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 1: And that is the truth that if they can reject 421 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 1: you because they feel safe too, because they know, like 422 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: a lot of things I think with moms and dads, 423 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: like the dads will sometimes get like the love and 424 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 1: even though they're not there as much, but it's like 425 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 1: the moms get the other stuff. It's whoever is not 426 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,640 Speaker 1: there a lot because all the homes I have baby 427 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,959 Speaker 1: sat in, like mom's dad's and mom's moms, whoever was 428 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: away the baby or would always sort of put that 429 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,919 Speaker 1: parent on a pep still because they know the other 430 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,120 Speaker 1: one is always there and always there, they can kind 431 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: of treat them like garbage. This is a huge thing 432 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 1: for me to remember. Will you remind me of this 433 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: the first time I call you crying and I'm like, 434 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: he just ran to me, and you know what, he 435 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: will and that's okay. It's less to me about like, 436 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,440 Speaker 1: oh he feels safe with her. I'm sure that he does, 437 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,160 Speaker 1: and it's just absolutely safe and warm and nurturing person 438 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: and there's love there, right. But I think there's also 439 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: a way to say, like I support your relationship with 440 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: her and you should have that, and I want that, 441 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,880 Speaker 1: and I am your primary relationship so you can bring 442 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 1: all of your nasty negative feelings to me. Oh that 443 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: makes me feel way better. Did you find it Did 444 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 1: you feel any fear or judgment as far as like 445 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 1: a maternity leave, Like did you have to come to 446 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: terms with it? Because I had a problem. I had 447 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,640 Speaker 1: a hard time, Like I remember being like, oh god, 448 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: am I going to tell people I'm pregnant who I 449 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 1: work with? You know, Like are they gonna treat me 450 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 1: differently because they know I'm pregnant? Do they think that 451 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 1: I'm less than you know, some some people think of 452 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: pregnancy as a disability or like did you find that? Yeah? Yeah, 453 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: I mean I have. I have a lot of thoughts 454 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,679 Speaker 1: on that, Like I do believe women play a motherhood tax. 455 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 1: That it's just true and there's data so to support it. 456 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: And um that we are literally like rearing the next 457 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 1: generation for this economy, and we do so much work 458 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: that's unpaid labor, and we are not you know, it's 459 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: really not valued. And the same way pregnancy seen as 460 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: like a disability. Mother it is seen as like a 461 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: disability and companies see it as a bottom line that 462 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:18,479 Speaker 1: they have to pay for. Um. I really hope that 463 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,879 Speaker 1: changes and things that needs to change, especially as like 464 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 1: more and more women are in the working force than 465 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: ever and yet we have created no structure for them 466 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 1: to succeed in it. Um. So I know there's this 467 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 1: whole thing about like women can have it all, which 468 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: means like you can work and be a mom and 469 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: be grade at both. But it's really not as it's 470 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,920 Speaker 1: saying women women can have it all in a framework 471 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,439 Speaker 1: that was not built to support them in any way. 472 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 1: It's like that's problematic. Did you have separation anxiety? Um? 473 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: I went through a really hard time when Gus went 474 00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: into preschool because he had a hard time early days. 475 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: For me, the preschool separation was harder for me to 476 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: like see him crying and have to have teachers pry 477 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: him off of me and walk away. June, I am 478 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 1: like and also walk away for confidence with like a 479 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:24,159 Speaker 1: happy I like. I remember going back to Scandal and 480 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: having staring at the monitor because there was a night 481 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 1: nurse there exide to go to work at four o'clock 482 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 1: in the morning and call him my mom saying, you 483 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 1: need to be on a plane tomorrow because I know this, 484 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 1: I don't really know this person watching my son and 485 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 1: she's going to shake him. I was convinced she was 486 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,679 Speaker 1: going to shake him and give him brain damage. It 487 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 1: was what I was. It was like a hundred percent 488 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,200 Speaker 1: the Bad movie that was on repeat in my head, 489 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: and that was like my total anxiety that I was, like, 490 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: I've worked so hard for ten months carrying this baby 491 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: inside me. I pushed him out of my vagina. Now 492 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,119 Speaker 1: I'm handing him over to someone who is going to 493 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: wreck the whole thing. Um yeah, Um, can you tell 494 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 1: us a little bit about I think it's amazing because 495 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: you are really amazing and talking about being a working mom. 496 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,640 Speaker 1: Can you tell us another way in which you are 497 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: helping this whole world of being a working mom and 498 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,679 Speaker 1: explain a little bit about the Jane absolutely, So. Really, 499 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: when I had my second, you're putting your money where 500 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: your mouth is. I know, well, I I feel like 501 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,199 Speaker 1: I've created something that I personally have needed. You know, 502 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 1: that's sometimes where the best ideas come from. It's just like, oh, 503 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: I just simply needed this. When I had my second, 504 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: I was I'm writing a book right now, and I 505 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: could not find a place to write. And I created 506 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 1: We turned our guest house into an office, and they 507 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 1: find the kids find us out there. And it's just 508 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 1: been really challenging for me to like work. And so 509 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: many more people are working in mobile ways right and 510 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: not checking into like nine to five. So I, along 511 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: with my co founder Jesse Know, we've created what we 512 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: call the Gene Club, which is inspired by Jane Adams 513 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: of the Hull House in Chicago, who did so much 514 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: amazing work for women. But essentially, we are a work 515 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: in community space with an emphasis on the working mother 516 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: and women general. So we provide a work space where 517 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 1: there's child care offered. So again a very basic concept 518 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: but one that has not been done. What we also 519 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: do is we really try to take care of the 520 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: whole woman. So we're kind of we want her to 521 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 1: feel like she's walking into a hotel, like a five 522 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 1: star hotel when she comes. So yes, we will take 523 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 1: care of her children, but we will also do her 524 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 1: children's laundry, and we will also, if she chooses, send 525 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: her home with a meal to put in the oven 526 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 1: because and we will also like get her car washed 527 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: and you know, all right, But you know, I think 528 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 1: when we talk about women and the things that they do, 529 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: it can see like menial, like oh, yeah, you're you're 530 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: probably in your household in charge of all of those 531 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: things and the schedules, and like the corporation you run 532 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,720 Speaker 1: from one baby, you know, like all of it running 533 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: the household is running, right, But we but when we 534 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: also try to understand why women don't run for office, 535 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,479 Speaker 1: why women don't you know um risk in terms of 536 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: like startups and why there are so few women see 537 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: us and we talk about why we're not going to 538 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 1: the next level of dreaming like the impossible. You know, 539 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: I feel like we have to we have to have 540 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 1: an honest discussion about motherhood and the other jobs that 541 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: we're doing, be it taking care of children, are also 542 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 1: taking care of elderly parents, which I have done, and 543 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: you know, it is unpaid labor that is not accounted 544 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: for that most women are doing. And so mind so 545 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: it's like when we we talk about these things, there's 546 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: an assumption that that work is being done, and we 547 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: don't ask women how they're doing it. We just assume 548 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: it's being done, even if they have help. And if 549 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 1: you spend you know, Carrie always said to me, Carrie 550 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,800 Speaker 1: Washington always said when we talk about like running the 551 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 1: business of you and your family and things like that, 552 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 1: if you're spending all of your time maintaining, you can 553 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 1: never grow. And so women, whether you're stay at home 554 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 1: mom or a working mom or whatever it is, it's 555 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: this constant on five minutes behind them because you're you're 556 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: just maintaining the day to day life. And so there's 557 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: no space for you to go to grow and to 558 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: go and to dream and to maybe go for like 559 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: a bigger goal that you might have set for yourself. 560 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 1: Absolutely so. So the big sort of piece of what 561 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 1: we offer is that separate childcare that's on site. Our 562 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: mothers are there with us. We are incubating a space 563 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: in Large mont right now where our investors are in, 564 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: our executive team are and we have some friends just 565 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: coming over so we can sort of test our services 566 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 1: with them. Um, they're not being members. Were opening up 567 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 1: another location in l A. I'll come back on once 568 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: we do and we can talk about it for paying members. 569 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 1: To really take this idea and like, you know, make 570 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: sure many many women have access to it because the 571 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's very it's very real problem, right. 572 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: And I say this from also a position of privilege, 573 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: like there are many women who neither ford nanny's nor 574 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 1: daycare and have small children and have to So my 575 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 1: dream is this expense to a level where it's affordable 576 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: and accessible to all women. Um. But we're really we're 577 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 1: totally funded by women in our community. UM, and I'm 578 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 1: really happy about that. But but I feel like the 579 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,360 Speaker 1: conversations that are being had right now about sexual arrest 580 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: in the workplace, and you know, all of this stuff 581 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 1: is so incredibly important, and also we need to start 582 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: talking about like mothers in the workplace and parents and 583 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: and the new ways in which we can create space 584 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 1: for them, because I believe that we're not tapping into 585 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 1: like all of women can all of what women can do. 586 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 1: If you were going to give a piece of advice 587 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 1: to a working mom, that is the worst question ever, 588 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 1: because how do you narrow down to one thing? But 589 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,840 Speaker 1: what comes to mind? What do you wish you had known? 590 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: Or so someone told me something about boys and working mothers. 591 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 1: I haven't like, No, I cannot cite this data, so 592 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say it. I don't know where it 593 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: came from, but I choose to believe it, which is that, um, 594 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 1: I had a working mother, and I was very close 595 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 1: to my mother and also wanted more time from her, 596 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 1: right I did. So I can say that very honestly, 597 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: But I am so glad that I had that model 598 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 1: for myself. And you know, I believe so the data 599 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about those is something about raising boys. 600 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: We're both raising boys. Until they tell me otherwise, but 601 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: for now there I'm identifying them as boys. Um, but 602 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 1: that of course may change. But so but I do believe, 603 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 1: especially for for children who identify as boys that and 604 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: this is the data that I'm thinking of. Their views 605 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 1: on women are completely like they're way more progressive if 606 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,279 Speaker 1: they've had a working mother in both the way that 607 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,760 Speaker 1: they are then going to marry and support their partners 608 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: and parents. So that like kind of like that really 609 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 1: helping me get away from the guilt. That also I 610 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,399 Speaker 1: will say this to working mothers and because I'm trying 611 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 1: to do this and it's not easy, and that's where 612 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: I'm like created the game club is to try to 613 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 1: really um, you know, push this idea is that we 614 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 1: don't we can ask for a lot more, and we 615 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,040 Speaker 1: should be asking for a lot more. And it does 616 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: cost corporations money and they do have a bottom line 617 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: that they're going to worry about, and you know what, 618 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,840 Speaker 1: like they need to pay up because I don't believe 619 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 1: we're asking for like nearly enough. You know, we need 620 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: to be asking for of course equity when it comes 621 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 1: to our paychecks, you know, and women of color are 622 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: paid even less than white women. But also we need 623 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,720 Speaker 1: to be asking for um reasonable working hours for parents. 624 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,840 Speaker 1: We need to be asking about childcare. And you know, 625 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,200 Speaker 1: I need to be asking for longer maternity leaves. We 626 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 1: need to be asking for fraternity leaves. So like when 627 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 1: we say like, oh, yeah, it's so great, I got 628 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 1: three months, it's like, let's not stop there, because three 629 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: months you're still not a person. Yeah yeah, most developing 630 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,240 Speaker 1: countries and if you look at where we fall, it's 631 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 1: it's just abysmal. It's like really embarrassing. I didn't get 632 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:43,840 Speaker 1: it until I got there. On when I was on 633 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 1: the other side, when I was pregnant, I thought three 634 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,759 Speaker 1: months would be too much, But good lord, I mean, 635 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,359 Speaker 1: I'm just starting to feel like myself. Just yeah. I mean, 636 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: if I had lived in one of those countries where 637 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: it's maternity and paternity leave for a year, I think 638 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: I would feel don't only very connected to my child, 639 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 1: but also super ready to like get back out there. Well, 640 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 1: because we don't consider it an investment in our future, right, 641 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,960 Speaker 1: it's considered a drain on the workforce, not as though 642 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: you are. I mean, and to talk about this just 643 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 1: like in terms of the economy, and it's really fucked up. 644 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:23,839 Speaker 1: It's like it's not considered like we're investing in our future. Um, 645 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: because the workwomen do is severely undervalued, and that the 646 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: caregive caregiving. And I say that for women in terms 647 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 1: of caregiving of elders and small children. I say that 648 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:37,719 Speaker 1: about domestic workers too. It's just undervalued. I gotta go. 649 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 1: You're amazing. That was so amazing. You gotta go to 650 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: work essentially where you're going. Thank you, June, thank you 651 00:36:46,000 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 1: for coming on. You are the loveliest. Hi, everybody, I 652 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 1: am so excited to welcome a lovely, lovely, amazing person 653 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,879 Speaker 1: by the name of Janet sward Low. And excuse me, guys, 654 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,760 Speaker 1: but it is real early on the Katie's Crib today, 655 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: it's like seven am, and Janet's already dropped her daughter 656 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 1: off at her middle school around the corner. So we're 657 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 1: doing this this section of Katie's Crib at seven am, 658 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,359 Speaker 1: when my voice is like a base. Janet, um, tell 659 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 1: us what you do for a living? So I'm an 660 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:33,880 Speaker 1: employment attorney and I work here in Los Angeles, California, 661 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:38,680 Speaker 1: and I advise employers on how to comply with the 662 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: laws that pertain to the workplace. Amazing, So can you 663 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 1: tell us Um, what is the legal This is gonna 664 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: be really fun because I think I've played a lawyer 665 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,440 Speaker 1: on television a bunch of times, and I just make 666 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: pretend that I don't really know anything about this. What's 667 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:57,200 Speaker 1: the legal definition of maternity or family leave that? So 668 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:01,000 Speaker 1: there really isn't as far as as far as maternity 669 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 1: leave goes. What people typically consider maternity lead is really 670 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,320 Speaker 1: a pregnancy disability leave. So it basically says that if 671 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: somebody is disabled by pregnancy, then they're entitled to a leave. 672 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: And in California we have a very specific pregnancy disability 673 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 1: lead law, and all over the country there's the Family 674 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,839 Speaker 1: and Medical Leave Act, and that also covers women who 675 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,879 Speaker 1: are disabled by pregnancy. So that's typically what you think 676 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 1: what I think of when I think of what is 677 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:36,000 Speaker 1: maternity lead? So does that mean? Does that mean? Okay? 678 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,880 Speaker 1: So obviously my brain is about to explode because you know, 679 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: it's hard to like even imagine pregnancy as a disability, right, 680 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 1: So like already my brain is like, we're are short circuiting, 681 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,359 Speaker 1: Like why is it called that? I don't understand? Um, 682 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,959 Speaker 1: because I worked up until I was I think nine 683 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 1: anathemaspregnant or something very physically working. Um. So do you 684 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,600 Speaker 1: mean like if you have a pregnant See, that's like 685 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: you're on bed rest, that's considered what you relieve or 686 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,279 Speaker 1: like No, like just the fact that you're pregnant is 687 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,399 Speaker 1: the disability and you get a certain amount of leave. 688 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 1: Like so yeah, no, it's the it's the former. So 689 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: if you're pregnant, at some point, you're probably you know 690 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 1: that you're gonna and it may be that you're not 691 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 1: disabled at all up until the time you actually deliver 692 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,439 Speaker 1: the child. Um. And that's very common. Typically it's really 693 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: what your doctor says. UM. But it's so typically doctors 694 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 1: will say, you know, a couple of weeks before your 695 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: due date, they'll give you a note that will say this, 696 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,719 Speaker 1: you know, my patient is now disabled by pregnancy and 697 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:42,000 Speaker 1: can't return to work until four to six weeks after delivery. UM. 698 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 1: The pregnancy disability can also be if somebody has severe 699 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 1: morning sickness. UM, it could cover you if you that's 700 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,920 Speaker 1: really good to know because that is very debilitating to 701 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:58,239 Speaker 1: some women who are just like over the toilet for months. Absolutely. 702 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,359 Speaker 1: And also so if you've got a doctor a note 703 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:05,600 Speaker 1: saying my patient is severely struggling with nausea or something, 704 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 1: then you could be covered and get compensated. There's no 705 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:13,840 Speaker 1: it's these leaves are unpaid UM. But you know, typically 706 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,799 Speaker 1: an employee may still have some pregnant it's some sick 707 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 1: leave available and they can use their sick leave towards 708 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,880 Speaker 1: that UM and you know for things like mourning sickness. 709 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 1: In my experience, employers aren't going to require notes for 710 00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,239 Speaker 1: all of that UM, and sometimes they don't even count 711 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 1: it against because there's a maximum amount of pregnancy disability 712 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: leave you can get under federal law it's twelve weeks. 713 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 1: Here in California it's four months. So most employers don't 714 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 1: even track the times when you're when and when a 715 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 1: pregnant woman is out due to like a pregnant mourning sickness, 716 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 1: got it UM. But it can also cover periods after 717 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 1: the pregnancy. So for example, if you have some postpartum 718 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: depression depression, that also can be covered as part of 719 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: the pregnant disability period. Wow, so good to know. So 720 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 1: every workplace has to have an official maternity leave policy, 721 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,200 Speaker 1: Is that correct? UM? It depends on the size of 722 00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,239 Speaker 1: the employer under federal law. So once you're outside of California, 723 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: you're only really necessarily protected if you work at a 724 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:24,360 Speaker 1: work location where the company has fifty or more employees. Now, 725 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,960 Speaker 1: there's some states that also have their own laws that 726 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,640 Speaker 1: will cover people that work at smaller employers. And here 727 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,919 Speaker 1: in California, so long as you work in a place 728 00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,720 Speaker 1: where there's five or more employees, then you're covered five 729 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:41,520 Speaker 1: or more for California, and for all states fifty or more, 730 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:46,960 Speaker 1: but could be varying existing. Okay, um, can you walk 731 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 1: us through in Katie's crib terms? And I don't mean 732 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,239 Speaker 1: that to our listeners, I mean literally me, like what 733 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,320 Speaker 1: Family and Medical Leave Act isn't known as f m 734 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:02,360 Speaker 1: l A. Okay, can you um walk us through that 735 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 1: and how it impacts lives of new parents or expecting parents. 736 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 1: Absolutely so. So, Actually, under the Family and Medical Leave Act, 737 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 1: there's a provision that provides for employees to have twelve 738 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:20,120 Speaker 1: weeks off of an unpaid leave two bond with their newborn. 739 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: So that's that maybe what a lot of people are 740 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,879 Speaker 1: thinking of in their minds when they talk about maternity leave. 741 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 1: So this can cover fathers and mothers um and it 742 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:35,040 Speaker 1: provides again twelve weeks of unpaid leave to bond and 743 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,319 Speaker 1: care for your newborn. So as as soon as your 744 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,719 Speaker 1: child is born, then you can get twelve weeks off 745 00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:46,520 Speaker 1: to care for that newborn. Would cover paternity, maternity, significant 746 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 1: other any. Um. It depends on your state about the 747 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:55,719 Speaker 1: significant other. Um. If if they're registered domestic partners, they 748 00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:00,800 Speaker 1: should be covered beyond that, Um, then it's not. Well 749 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 1: if it's if it's the employee's child, they don't need 750 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:09,600 Speaker 1: to be you know, then they yes, right, got it? Um? 751 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:13,360 Speaker 1: What's what now that my brain is is kind of 752 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:18,279 Speaker 1: recovering from the from the pregnancy disability situation. I don't 753 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,440 Speaker 1: know why that's so crazy. I have such images of 754 00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:26,799 Speaker 1: Carrie Washington on set being super pregnant, um, and you 755 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,560 Speaker 1: know her doing like amazing Livia Pope things and like 756 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,320 Speaker 1: being down to grab her product bag or something, and 757 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,120 Speaker 1: everyone in the career rushing over to help her up 758 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 1: and her being like no, no, no, I can do 759 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,319 Speaker 1: this myself. I'm not disabled. Like that's just like the 760 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: image that keeps coming to my mind. Um, can you 761 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,719 Speaker 1: tell us the difference between maternity leave and short term 762 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:50,080 Speaker 1: disability that there is a difference, so so the disability coverage, 763 00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,719 Speaker 1: it's it's really more of like it's there's almost I 764 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:58,200 Speaker 1: believe all the states have a state disability insurance program. 765 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 1: California certainly does, and most states have that program. And 766 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,520 Speaker 1: what that is is that's just a way of providing 767 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,719 Speaker 1: some income supplement during the period that you're out on 768 00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:13,560 Speaker 1: pregnancy leave. And it varies from state to state that 769 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:17,560 Speaker 1: much that is is it indirect correlation to what you make. UM. 770 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,600 Speaker 1: It's very similar to like unemployment insurance. So usually it's 771 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: a certain percentage of your normal compensation up to some 772 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 1: got it and how far in advance do does one 773 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 1: go about getting that and figuring out what that is? Like? 774 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:41,560 Speaker 1: Who do you call? So typically you would there's the 775 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,480 Speaker 1: Here in California, your employer would give you some information 776 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 1: about that, UM, but you would want to go to 777 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:52,160 Speaker 1: your whatever your state. There in each state there should 778 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,920 Speaker 1: be some government agency that handles that. Here in California 779 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:58,960 Speaker 1: it's the Employment Development Department, and there would be something 780 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,440 Speaker 1: and I think you could probably wherever you are, you 781 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 1: can google your state and then disability insurance program, and 782 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,320 Speaker 1: I would imagine that it would come up pretty easily. 783 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,480 Speaker 1: You'd find the government website that would give you information 784 00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,080 Speaker 1: about that can lead you to some phone numbers somebody 785 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:21,000 Speaker 1: to talk to. UM is leave different if there's UM 786 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 1: birth versus adoption or surrogacy, or like a foster care 787 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 1: situation or someone's adopted somebody. Do they still get the 788 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,160 Speaker 1: twelve weeks? Like how does that work? Yeah, that would 789 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,640 Speaker 1: still you'd still get if you're covered if you work 790 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,160 Speaker 1: for an employer that's covered by the Family and Medical 791 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,840 Speaker 1: Leave Act UM, and there's certain requirements for the employee 792 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,239 Speaker 1: or receive the benefit. They have to have worked there 793 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:44,920 Speaker 1: a certain at least a year and at least one thousand, 794 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,280 Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty hours in the last twelve months, 795 00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,520 Speaker 1: assuming that they're eligible for it. Then that would cover 796 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:54,399 Speaker 1: UM bonding with any child that's been placed with you 797 00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: for whether it's adoption, whether it's foster care, or whether 798 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:04,520 Speaker 1: it's just a birth. Got it? UM? What happens if 799 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:10,480 Speaker 1: the parent right is home and is like screw this, 800 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:14,279 Speaker 1: I can't go back to work, like they you know 801 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,080 Speaker 1: they've decided not to return. Are there any How are 802 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 1: they protected? Like how how? What are the penalties of that? Like, 803 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,440 Speaker 1: I'm I'm sure that there are people that come to 804 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,800 Speaker 1: the end of the three months and like you said, 805 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:30,799 Speaker 1: maybe they're actually struggling with some real stuff physically, who knows, 806 00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:35,320 Speaker 1: maybe mentally who knows, or what if their whole lives 807 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 1: have just gone through like a major change and they 808 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,920 Speaker 1: don't want to go back to work. Like what happens. 809 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,480 Speaker 1: So during if somebody is out on family and medical leave, 810 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,080 Speaker 1: even though I mentioned that it was an unpaid leave, 811 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,120 Speaker 1: the employer still has to continue to provide you with 812 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,440 Speaker 1: group health benefits to the same extent that you are 813 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,680 Speaker 1: receiving them before you went out on the leave. So 814 00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,640 Speaker 1: the what could happen possibly is is under the Family 815 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,000 Speaker 1: and Medical Leave Act, if you return to work from 816 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,880 Speaker 1: your leave and stay employed by the employer for thirty days, 817 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,440 Speaker 1: then the employer has the right to come after you 818 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,239 Speaker 1: and require you to reimburse them for the money that 819 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,000 Speaker 1: they spent maintaining your group health benefits. But there's an 820 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:19,000 Speaker 1: exception to that. So the exception is is if the 821 00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:24,640 Speaker 1: reason you're remaining out on leave is because there's there's 822 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,080 Speaker 1: the recurrence of a serious health can if you have 823 00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,800 Speaker 1: there's some kind of serious health conditions. So for example, 824 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,839 Speaker 1: say you're suffering from postpartum depression, that would follow it 825 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,239 Speaker 1: under that Um, if the child had some kind of 826 00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,080 Speaker 1: serious illness, that would that would govern that would that 827 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:45,320 Speaker 1: would create the exception. Also, there's also a more general exception, 828 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 1: which is if there's circumstances beyond the employee's control. So 829 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:54,480 Speaker 1: in my experience, I've never seen an employer actually three 830 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:58,000 Speaker 1: months of like you owe me this. It's like, um, 831 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:01,200 Speaker 1: can we have a soul on heart? Right? I've never 832 00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 1: seen any I've seen many situations where the employee doesn't return, 833 00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,719 Speaker 1: but I've never seen a situation where the employer tried 834 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: to recover that. Wow. Interesting, Um, in your experience, Like 835 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:16,720 Speaker 1: you said, how, um, do the laws protect new parents 836 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,719 Speaker 1: from being like fired? Do you know? I know that 837 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,120 Speaker 1: can sort of be a touchy thing for women. It's 838 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,520 Speaker 1: really interesting being an actor in Hollywood. Like here, I 839 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 1: am working at Shonda Land, which is literally the greatest 840 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,320 Speaker 1: place you could ever be pregnant. I think my biggest 841 00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,319 Speaker 1: mistake was that I didn't have like all of my 842 00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:39,080 Speaker 1: babies and rhymes is my boss. Um. But it's bizarre 843 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,280 Speaker 1: that the minute and I got pregnant was the minute 844 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:43,319 Speaker 1: I in my head I said, oh my god, I'm 845 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,640 Speaker 1: gonna get fired. I mean, it's insane. How I don't 846 00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:50,640 Speaker 1: know why that is culturally or has been kind of 847 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,399 Speaker 1: burned into my brain of like, oh, man, like you're 848 00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,680 Speaker 1: not going to be wanted in the workplace as soon 849 00:48:55,719 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 1: as somebody finds out you're pregnant. It's it's really bizarre. Um. 850 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,239 Speaker 1: And I know I'm not alone in thinking that, because 851 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:05,560 Speaker 1: my friends have had the same fears. So what are 852 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,919 Speaker 1: their laws to protect actually like new parents from being 853 00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,520 Speaker 1: fired while they're on leave, Like, how do they know 854 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:15,080 Speaker 1: that their job is will be there when they get 855 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,440 Speaker 1: back from those twelve weeks or should they need longer? 856 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:21,200 Speaker 1: So the law the same law that entitles employees to 857 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:25,720 Speaker 1: these like family and medical leave, and in many states 858 00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: their their own state either equivalent to the family and 859 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:33,080 Speaker 1: Medical leave law or a separate pregnancy disability leave law. Um. 860 00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:37,040 Speaker 1: These laws also provide protections against being retaliated against for 861 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,719 Speaker 1: exercising your right to take these leaves. So um. And 862 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:46,480 Speaker 1: there's also under federal law you can't discriminate discriminate against 863 00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:53,880 Speaker 1: people because of their gender and pregnancy is considered so 864 00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 1: so there is there's a lot of protection for employees who, 865 00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,640 Speaker 1: you know, what if they're ready to return to work 866 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,040 Speaker 1: after and they've you know, they haven't exceeded what they're 867 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,920 Speaker 1: legally entitled to as far as leave, um from being 868 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:13,160 Speaker 1: subject to being terminated? Wow, so what so someone could 869 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:17,240 Speaker 1: get somebody in t like you really shouldn't that shouldn't 870 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,879 Speaker 1: be a worry like being fired while on maternity lead 871 00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,359 Speaker 1: Like there are laws and you can be protective against that. Um, 872 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,319 Speaker 1: when did that all come into play? Like that's been 873 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,640 Speaker 1: a well, the Family and Medical Leave Act, which you 874 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,280 Speaker 1: know we're talking about the whole country. That was actually 875 00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,960 Speaker 1: the first bill that Bill Clinton signed when he came 876 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,760 Speaker 1: into office, and that was back in that that that's 877 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,520 Speaker 1: that Act was signed. So it's this has been the 878 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,600 Speaker 1: law for a long time and many states have you know, 879 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:49,239 Speaker 1: and and the gender discrimination has been around for a 880 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,239 Speaker 1: very long time. So since laws, I know you really 881 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:56,200 Speaker 1: specialize in California. UM, but for those listening who live 882 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,200 Speaker 1: in other places, what are good resources that new parents 883 00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,600 Speaker 1: and parents to be to check out their rights? Because 884 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,920 Speaker 1: I have to admit, like again, being an actor, I 885 00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,400 Speaker 1: totally dealt with unemployment and being on and off unemployment 886 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,840 Speaker 1: for years. It's like totally how I survived. Um, was 887 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: that check for two fifty dollars every once in a 888 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:20,360 Speaker 1: while would make or break sometimes the difference like for sure, um, 889 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,520 Speaker 1: but it was a real I mean sometimes I thought 890 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,799 Speaker 1: it was a full time job, was keeping my unemployment 891 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,880 Speaker 1: because the times I would have to go to the 892 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,560 Speaker 1: unemployment office and show up and wait in line for 893 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,680 Speaker 1: a long time or wait on the phone for four 894 00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:35,120 Speaker 1: hours or something. Is it similar when like parents, we 895 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,040 Speaker 1: have to check out their rights or how they get 896 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,279 Speaker 1: compensated or go to that go to a website and 897 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,120 Speaker 1: find a number to call. Is it just the most 898 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,640 Speaker 1: hiring process or is it pretty easy to just say 899 00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:49,680 Speaker 1: I have maturity leave, I'm do around this time? How 900 00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,360 Speaker 1: do I get paid? Like, I don't know? It seems 901 00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:55,600 Speaker 1: daunting to me for some reason. So so the first 902 00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,160 Speaker 1: place that you can that that people can go to 903 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,800 Speaker 1: to find out about their rights for these leaves would 904 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,759 Speaker 1: be a starting point would be the the U S 905 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:07,839 Speaker 1: Department of Labour's website because that's where the that's where 906 00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:12,000 Speaker 1: they're enforcing the Family and Medical Leave Act UM. And 907 00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,880 Speaker 1: then the other places you know, again it would just 908 00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,840 Speaker 1: be googling, you know, that's probably the easiest way to 909 00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,319 Speaker 1: find it. UM you know, state disability or you can 910 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 1: look for you know, leave, family and medical leave, pregnancy leave, 911 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,640 Speaker 1: and UM and then when you after you do search 912 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:35,600 Speaker 1: go to government websites and for information UM as far 913 00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,680 Speaker 1: as how you know logistically to do that. In California, 914 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,759 Speaker 1: it seems to me that those days, I don't know 915 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,279 Speaker 1: about unemployment insurance. But when I know, I personally when 916 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,760 Speaker 1: I went out on my pregnancy leave, UM, I everything 917 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:52,840 Speaker 1: was just done through the mail. UM. Now it's probably 918 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:56,800 Speaker 1: all on the on the internet on the right, because 919 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,160 Speaker 1: I definitely didn't go in anywhere to fill out any 920 00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:05,239 Speaker 1: forms for ability during through the male Holy crap, I'm sure. 921 00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:10,319 Speaker 1: I mean my daughter is thirteen now, so it's UM so. 922 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,840 Speaker 1: And then you know in some states, you know in California, 923 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:18,200 Speaker 1: during the bonding leave portion, you know, after the pregnancy 924 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,640 Speaker 1: disability is over and you're just taken time off to 925 00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:24,160 Speaker 1: bond with your child. UM, we have also something sort 926 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 1: of like unemployment where the state you are also getting 927 00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 1: some income supplement during that period of time. So people 928 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,440 Speaker 1: out of check and see if in their states they 929 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:39,560 Speaker 1: also provide some kind of state UM income, some sort 930 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,440 Speaker 1: of supplement that you can get weekly or whatever exactly 931 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,719 Speaker 1: during the time that you're taking off to bond with 932 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,520 Speaker 1: a newborn. It really sounds like this is such important 933 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,640 Speaker 1: work that women and their partners really need to do 934 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,439 Speaker 1: before before they give birth, you know, like a couple 935 00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:58,920 Speaker 1: of months before, really make sure they've covered their bases. 936 00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,239 Speaker 1: And as much as a pain that this googling might be, 937 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,080 Speaker 1: it might be something on your list that you push 938 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:04,480 Speaker 1: off until the end. In the end, and then I'm 939 00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,160 Speaker 1: speaking for myself, that would totally have been how I 940 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,719 Speaker 1: dealt with it. But you really gotta put in the 941 00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:12,880 Speaker 1: time and and like make sure you get what you do, 942 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,960 Speaker 1: you know, get what you can get. Yeah. See, your 943 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,560 Speaker 1: employer is is also a good place to start because 944 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 1: they have been through it maybe before, especially if you're 945 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:27,120 Speaker 1: at a company or Yeah, and there's certain forms that 946 00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:31,080 Speaker 1: they're supposed to give you which give you guidance on 947 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,560 Speaker 1: how to file claims and so forth. Got it, and 948 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:39,280 Speaker 1: then their policies. It's so crazy that it's that it's 949 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:43,400 Speaker 1: that it's twelve weeks. I mean, I don't know, did 950 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,319 Speaker 1: you have any idea why that number was picked or 951 00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:51,880 Speaker 1: why why it's three months? No, I do not know why. 952 00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,759 Speaker 1: But in you know, some like in California, if you 953 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:58,120 Speaker 1: combine your pregnancy leave with your three months of bonding leave. 954 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,920 Speaker 1: You know, if you're if there's if you have a 955 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,840 Speaker 1: very complicated pregnancy, you can you can get a total 956 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:08,920 Speaker 1: of seven months. Actually, so yeah, the four months for 957 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,200 Speaker 1: pregnancy leave and then followed by twelve weeks after the 958 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,880 Speaker 1: child was born, and you're no longer disabled. Oh I 959 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:18,920 Speaker 1: wish that was for every reason, but it's not automatic. Again, No, 960 00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:22,239 Speaker 1: you got it, You got it. You gotta really, you know, 961 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,600 Speaker 1: do your research and your due diligence and get yeah, 962 00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:29,319 Speaker 1: and and have a doctor say you're actually disabled for 963 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,960 Speaker 1: four months then you need this. Well yeah, but it's 964 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,319 Speaker 1: so nice to know that that's even there for I mean, 965 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:40,840 Speaker 1: I had a very very normal labor and pregnancy, um no, 966 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:45,760 Speaker 1: you know, major alarming things, and I mean twelve weeks 967 00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:48,799 Speaker 1: was still not enough, so you know what I mean, Like, 968 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:52,560 Speaker 1: I just I really felt Adam always talks about his 969 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,319 Speaker 1: paternity leave and it was such a beautiful time with 970 00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:57,879 Speaker 1: him and he and he because my husband also took 971 00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:01,040 Speaker 1: off three months, um and it was very important to him, 972 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,880 Speaker 1: which I love that about him. But he really felt 973 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,480 Speaker 1: he loved those twelve weeks, and I did not. I 974 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:13,680 Speaker 1: thought those twelve weeks were completely not a bonding time 975 00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,120 Speaker 1: with my son at all. It was like a like, 976 00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:19,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, I've my body has been completely blown 977 00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,600 Speaker 1: out and I don't know who I am. And so 978 00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,799 Speaker 1: I really felt like those twelve weeks were just they're 979 00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:29,399 Speaker 1: such a fog to me, Like it's not like, oh, 980 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,040 Speaker 1: I bonded so closely to my kid. I mean I fail, 981 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:35,920 Speaker 1: like the bonding for me really happened later. Those twelve 982 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:42,360 Speaker 1: weeks were just a fog of just just like looking 983 00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,040 Speaker 1: at my body and and not knowing what was going 984 00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 1: on and figuring out breastfeeding and you know, just taking 985 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,680 Speaker 1: a fifteen minute shower staring at the tile wall and 986 00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,319 Speaker 1: hoping that the water didn't hit my bools because they 987 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,600 Speaker 1: heard so bad. So like that's what the twelve weeks 988 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,560 Speaker 1: for me. So I can't even you know, you hear 989 00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:03,839 Speaker 1: about these countries that have like a year, Yeah, yeah, 990 00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:06,160 Speaker 1: I mean that's just you will never go to a 991 00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,680 Speaker 1: place like that, right, Like that's just you. You would 992 00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,120 Speaker 1: be surprised. Yeah, But I hear about these Nordic glands 993 00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:18,320 Speaker 1: that sound just like utopia, just like maternity and fraternity 994 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,360 Speaker 1: a year where you're so bonded with your baby, not America, 995 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:27,560 Speaker 1: not here. But um, but it's great that we get Yeah, 996 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,000 Speaker 1: it's better than what we had before, which was what 997 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:33,919 Speaker 1: was it before? Before? You know, outside of California, there 998 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:39,000 Speaker 1: was really no protectively for to care, just to bond 999 00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:43,280 Speaker 1: for just the Yeah, like people were going back to 1000 00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,560 Speaker 1: work like a week or two light yeah right once 1001 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:50,040 Speaker 1: they're once they were no longer disabled. Yeah, oh my god, 1002 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,640 Speaker 1: I mean I would have lost my mind. Yeah, I 1003 00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,080 Speaker 1: already lost my mind I was home. Well, some employers 1004 00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,040 Speaker 1: probably had more generous policies than what the what the 1005 00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:01,560 Speaker 1: law required, right, but the fact that the law didn't 1006 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:07,440 Speaker 1: require goshu once parents returned to work, is there? Um? 1007 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,440 Speaker 1: Is there some sort of bare minimum that employers are 1008 00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,960 Speaker 1: legally obligated to provide? Like do employers have to provide 1009 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,000 Speaker 1: like a breast milk? Like you get a break for 1010 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, or let's say somebody has to pump during 1011 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:24,480 Speaker 1: a conference meeting or something like how our employers supposed 1012 00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:27,800 Speaker 1: to be flexible with an incoming mom when she comes 1013 00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,120 Speaker 1: back to work. So that's going to depend that's going 1014 00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:34,160 Speaker 1: to vary state by state. There's really nothing under federal 1015 00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,960 Speaker 1: law that would you know, cover everybody in the whole country. Um. 1016 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,960 Speaker 1: Here in California, we have a requirement that an employer 1017 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:46,280 Speaker 1: reasonably has has to reasonably accommodate women who are needing 1018 00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:49,280 Speaker 1: to pump um, and we have there's some special rules 1019 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:53,600 Speaker 1: about providing them a place where they can pump privately. 1020 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:58,320 Speaker 1: That's something other than the bathroom stall. So there, So 1021 00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:02,480 Speaker 1: we're lucky here in California. UM. But outside of California, 1022 00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:05,360 Speaker 1: you really need to check looking to do some research 1023 00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 1: and find out what what your state offers as far 1024 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,880 Speaker 1: as protection, if anything. And then that's another good conversation 1025 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:15,120 Speaker 1: to have with your employer before you come back to 1026 00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,880 Speaker 1: work if you know that you are going to be 1027 00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:20,480 Speaker 1: pumping um, to to talk to your employer about that 1028 00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,680 Speaker 1: and find out, you know how that's gonna what kind 1029 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:27,400 Speaker 1: of arrangements can be made. Wow, I hear these things 1030 00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:30,920 Speaker 1: that I'm like, okay, like pumpings loud. But you know 1031 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,360 Speaker 1: I was so again, like working in Shawn the Land, 1032 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,080 Speaker 1: It's like oh no, no, Like my they gave me 1033 00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:38,680 Speaker 1: another side of my trailer that my baby lived in 1034 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,600 Speaker 1: and then I went back to my trailer every three 1035 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:45,560 Speaker 1: hours in breastbed. Yeah, I mean that is like and 1036 00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,320 Speaker 1: then the A. D s would knock on my trailer 1037 00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,560 Speaker 1: and be like you think you're done? You know, it's 1038 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,080 Speaker 1: so kind and lovely, like how much longer? And I'd 1039 00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:55,480 Speaker 1: be like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. 1040 00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:59,000 Speaker 1: You and the whole crew of like, I don't know 1041 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,000 Speaker 1: how many people it is on your people just waiting 1042 01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:04,440 Speaker 1: for me to be done. And thank God for trailblazers 1043 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,479 Speaker 1: like Carrie Washington who came before me and just really 1044 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:09,360 Speaker 1: set that precedent on the scandal set specifically that that 1045 01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:14,960 Speaker 1: was something to not feel bad about. And Shonda was like, I, 1046 01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,160 Speaker 1: oh god. I remember showing up at work when I 1047 01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:20,520 Speaker 1: told our line producer that I was pregnant, and my 1048 01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:25,320 Speaker 1: trailer had a huge deck and stairs built in front 1049 01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,960 Speaker 1: of it that Shanda had built, um had our carpentry 1050 01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,840 Speaker 1: department built because they didn't even want me going up 1051 01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,680 Speaker 1: and down trailer stairs pregnant because they didn't think it 1052 01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:35,520 Speaker 1: was safe. And you were like, I took a photo 1053 01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:37,360 Speaker 1: of it, and I emailed into Shaunda and I was like, 1054 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,439 Speaker 1: look what I got. I'm gonna put flowers on It's 1055 01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,520 Speaker 1: like my deck if I wasn't pregnant, Like where you 1056 01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:45,440 Speaker 1: would smoke cigarettes in your twenties or whatever. And she 1057 01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,880 Speaker 1: was like, she just wrote back matriarchy with a ton 1058 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:54,960 Speaker 1: of exclamation points. Um, have you seen personally cases of 1059 01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:58,800 Speaker 1: harassment or discrimination against new parents? Have you seen that? 1060 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:03,640 Speaker 1: I haven't. Really I haven't because I do defend lawsuits 1061 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:08,040 Speaker 1: and I haven't seen those kinds of claims. Doesn't mean 1062 01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:11,240 Speaker 1: they don't exist. They just haven't passed by me, got it. Um, 1063 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:13,919 Speaker 1: But I'm sure that you know that people have brought 1064 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:17,920 Speaker 1: these claims, probably you know, the the angle that I 1065 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,000 Speaker 1: would imagine would probably be more like, you know, I 1066 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,880 Speaker 1: took my leave and ever since I came back, you know, 1067 01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,720 Speaker 1: I've been mistreated and I'm being retaliated against for having 1068 01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:33,840 Speaker 1: a baby. Yeah. So you counsel employers on developing because 1069 01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:37,000 Speaker 1: you're on the other side, you counsel employers on how 1070 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:40,760 Speaker 1: to have good workplace, how to avoid those types, how 1071 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:44,640 Speaker 1: to avoid those types of lawsuits. Um, what have you seen? Like? 1072 01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:48,080 Speaker 1: What what are the trends lately? Like I know you 1073 01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,840 Speaker 1: mentioned that before there was I mean, California seems to 1074 01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,919 Speaker 1: have always been good. Yeah, so the trends that I'm 1075 01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:57,320 Speaker 1: seeing are and you know, California is such a is 1076 01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,000 Speaker 1: really a trend setter and a lot of this. You know, California, 1077 01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,280 Speaker 1: you will start, Yeah, California will start on some of 1078 01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:07,240 Speaker 1: these new laws, and then you'll see progressively, yea trickle 1079 01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:10,960 Speaker 1: maybe to Washington, Oregon, some of the uh, some of 1080 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,640 Speaker 1: the other states. Um. But for example, one one recent 1081 01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:17,760 Speaker 1: law that just came into effect this year is that 1082 01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,880 Speaker 1: we now have in California, if you work for an employer, 1083 01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:23,480 Speaker 1: instead of having to work for an employer that has 1084 01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:26,960 Speaker 1: fifty or more employees you know within the area where 1085 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,200 Speaker 1: you work, now it's they've reduced it. So if you 1086 01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:35,160 Speaker 1: if there's twenty, they're covered. So that's then yeah, that 1087 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,520 Speaker 1: was that's a real benefit to people that work at 1088 01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:41,640 Speaker 1: smaller companies. So that's something that I would expect to 1089 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:46,080 Speaker 1: start seeing in some other states this number that maybe 1090 01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:49,320 Speaker 1: people will shift lower it. Well, I don't I wouldn't 1091 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:54,960 Speaker 1: expect that from our federal government, but from the local governments. Um, 1092 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,720 Speaker 1: you might be this your state local You could begin 1093 01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,680 Speaker 1: to see more of that. Are there any other trends 1094 01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,480 Speaker 1: you're seeing happening? Like you said, We're not going to 1095 01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:06,400 Speaker 1: be sitting here in a year from now saying we 1096 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:10,000 Speaker 1: got a year maternity. I don't. I don't envision that. 1097 01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,240 Speaker 1: The other thing that I'm seeing is is that more 1098 01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:17,640 Speaker 1: and more employers are just adopting policies that are more 1099 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:21,000 Speaker 1: generous than what the law requires. You know, it may 1100 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,600 Speaker 1: be that they're you know, right now, these these leaves 1101 01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:27,200 Speaker 1: by law only half they don't have to be paid. 1102 01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:30,200 Speaker 1: That I'm seeing more and more employers starting to supplement 1103 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:34,360 Speaker 1: um the income that the employee receives through like state 1104 01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:38,320 Speaker 1: disability and and coordinating the state disability and then they 1105 01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:41,880 Speaker 1: will pay the difference between so that their employees actually 1106 01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:46,760 Speaker 1: earning the same that they were earning before. That would 1107 01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:49,600 Speaker 1: be great. Yeah, that's a nice benefit, and I'm seeing 1108 01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:52,919 Speaker 1: that more and more. UM. So that's you know, that's 1109 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:58,240 Speaker 1: another positive thing that we're seeing for employees in the workplace. UM. 1110 01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:02,840 Speaker 1: What are your tips that you have, Janet, are there 1111 01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:05,439 Speaker 1: any tips for new parents returning to work? Like what 1112 01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,920 Speaker 1: all of this stuff? What could they do to prepare 1113 01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:12,200 Speaker 1: before coming back to work. So one of the things is, 1114 01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:14,480 Speaker 1: you know, it would certainly be we talked about, you know, 1115 01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,920 Speaker 1: having discussions with your employer about what your needs might 1116 01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,919 Speaker 1: be as far as pumping UM and then The other 1117 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,000 Speaker 1: thing is is that you know you want to make 1118 01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:28,320 Speaker 1: sure that you if you're significant other, the other parent 1119 01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:31,480 Speaker 1: isn't going to be home caring for your child, that 1120 01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:35,600 Speaker 1: you make arrangements obviously for for for the right kind 1121 01:04:35,600 --> 01:04:38,959 Speaker 1: of childcare that's gonna that you're going to use. Um. 1122 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:41,720 Speaker 1: And you also need to make sure that you now 1123 01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,360 Speaker 1: you're going to be if you hire a nanny, you're 1124 01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:46,440 Speaker 1: now going to be an employer, and you want to 1125 01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:50,320 Speaker 1: make sure that you're familiar with your obligations as an 1126 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:56,840 Speaker 1: employer towards your nanny. Film me, my gosh, I've never 1127 01:04:56,960 --> 01:05:01,080 Speaker 1: felt like more of an adult than when then, because 1128 01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:03,360 Speaker 1: I still am like I'm a parent, but I never 1129 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,479 Speaker 1: felt more than a more like an adult when Adam 1130 01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:08,760 Speaker 1: and I have a nighttime work event or something and 1131 01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:12,280 Speaker 1: we come home and like pay the babysitter, because I 1132 01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,960 Speaker 1: was a babysitter for so long. It's bizarre to me 1133 01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:18,960 Speaker 1: that I even have funds to pay somebody like, and 1134 01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:21,200 Speaker 1: that I was just out and someone else like. It 1135 01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:24,080 Speaker 1: just feels super adult and crazy that I have someone 1136 01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:26,640 Speaker 1: that works for me, that helps me care for my child, 1137 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:29,320 Speaker 1: and and there's and and it takes some time to 1138 01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,480 Speaker 1: set everything up because you need to have like a 1139 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:36,880 Speaker 1: state I am taxpayer idea. Never, yeah, you gotta so. 1140 01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:40,600 Speaker 1: You you definitely want to start, you know, all that 1141 01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,360 Speaker 1: stuff early on, you know, shortly after the baby is born, 1142 01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,000 Speaker 1: and start looking and trying to get recommendations for for 1143 01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:52,520 Speaker 1: caretakers of course, and then backups also, um, depending upon 1144 01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:55,240 Speaker 1: who your employer is. You know, some employers are you 1145 01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,480 Speaker 1: really going to expect you to be you know back 1146 01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,440 Speaker 1: you know, so if the baby is sick for the 1147 01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:03,920 Speaker 1: first time, or the nanny excuse me or sick, or 1148 01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:06,280 Speaker 1: daycare is closed for the day or whatever it is, 1149 01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:10,560 Speaker 1: you have to figure out. Yeah, have have some backup. 1150 01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:16,040 Speaker 1: What are your tips? Do you give your employers how 1151 01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:19,240 Speaker 1: to welcome back a coworker to the office, Like is 1152 01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,120 Speaker 1: there something that you know? Did They're like, this is 1153 01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:26,280 Speaker 1: your pumping room, Like what are the Well that's one 1154 01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,600 Speaker 1: thing to do would be to you know, orient them 1155 01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,480 Speaker 1: to how things are going to work logistically if there's pumping, 1156 01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,800 Speaker 1: you know, there's a refrigerator, you know. I know, I 1157 01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:36,200 Speaker 1: just learned this. I pumped also at work, but I 1158 01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,040 Speaker 1: don't remember having to deal with this. But apparently if 1159 01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:42,080 Speaker 1: you because after twelve weeks and never still a fog. 1160 01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:45,920 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. But now I definitely didn't have a there 1161 01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,720 Speaker 1: was no refrigerator for me to put my whole pump in. 1162 01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,480 Speaker 1: But we have an attorney who just came back from 1163 01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:55,400 Speaker 1: a pregnancy leave not long ago, and she has there's 1164 01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:58,040 Speaker 1: a refrigerator, so she can she puts the whole pump 1165 01:06:58,080 --> 01:06:59,920 Speaker 1: in the refrigerator and then you don't have to clean it. 1166 01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:03,000 Speaker 1: So I mean, just to have discussions with the with 1167 01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,840 Speaker 1: the employee about what their needs are in that regard. 1168 01:07:06,240 --> 01:07:09,080 Speaker 1: And then what I would say is is that you really, 1169 01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:12,800 Speaker 1: as an employer, you really want to treat everyone coming 1170 01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:16,600 Speaker 1: back from pregnancy leave as if they're your best employee. UM. 1171 01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,280 Speaker 1: And you want to do that because you know it's 1172 01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:23,200 Speaker 1: it's good because it's it's nice, it's compassionate, and it 1173 01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:25,600 Speaker 1: also is good because you want to make sure that 1174 01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:28,320 Speaker 1: you're kind of treating people the same. And you want 1175 01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:31,280 Speaker 1: to if you've got some great employee that you want 1176 01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:34,680 Speaker 1: them to stay with you and be an employer that 1177 01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:39,480 Speaker 1: is you know, welcoming and accommodating of mothers. Um. You 1178 01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,440 Speaker 1: want to you want to show them some compassion. I mean, 1179 01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:46,480 Speaker 1: it is like you know before we went started recording, 1180 01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:49,600 Speaker 1: we were talking about, you know, the feeling when a 1181 01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:51,640 Speaker 1: new mother is, you know, driving back to work the 1182 01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,360 Speaker 1: first day, and I remember just the tears streaming down 1183 01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,800 Speaker 1: like face thinking, you know not you know, you're you're 1184 01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,240 Speaker 1: putting your child in the hands of someone you hardly know, 1185 01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:02,840 Speaker 1: and this is the most precious thing you've ever had 1186 01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:05,960 Speaker 1: in your whole life. That's right. It's very difficult time 1187 01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:09,200 Speaker 1: for some mothers, not all. And just to try to 1188 01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:13,840 Speaker 1: you know, give a little slack um in the initial 1189 01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:18,639 Speaker 1: period and you get back, you do, but you do, 1190 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:23,120 Speaker 1: but it is just the beginning that is a little bit. 1191 01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:27,919 Speaker 1: You know, you've had an intense intense identity shift, um, 1192 01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:33,599 Speaker 1: an intense intense hormonal shift, and you know, yeah, I 1193 01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:38,280 Speaker 1: think as compassionate and it will you do get through it, 1194 01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:40,519 Speaker 1: and you do come on the other side, and it 1195 01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:44,439 Speaker 1: does you end up able to kind of handle it on. 1196 01:08:44,479 --> 01:08:46,080 Speaker 1: I mean, there are just so many women I look 1197 01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,960 Speaker 1: up to you now, included Janet, that that really work 1198 01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,880 Speaker 1: and you are also mom and you are doing both, 1199 01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:56,599 Speaker 1: that's right, um. And whereas in these these women are 1200 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,639 Speaker 1: such a valuable part of the workforce. If you yeah, 1201 01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:02,080 Speaker 1: if you shut him down just because you know they're 1202 01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:04,840 Speaker 1: having a difficult couple of months after having a child. 1203 01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:10,240 Speaker 1: You're losing out on a on azing relationship and amazing 1204 01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:15,880 Speaker 1: that's right, that's right, Mike, drop on that. Thank you 1205 01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:22,519 Speaker 1: so much for being your well, you appreciate it. Thank 1206 01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:25,320 Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening to Katie's Crib. Make 1207 01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:28,439 Speaker 1: sure you subscribe to the podcast and tell your friends. 1208 01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:30,559 Speaker 1: And also if you go to the website shawna Land 1209 01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:33,000 Speaker 1: dot com and check out the crib notes, you can 1210 01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:35,240 Speaker 1: see a bunch of the different topics we discussed in 1211 01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,760 Speaker 1: today's episode. Get more info. So check out shawna Land 1212 01:09:38,840 --> 01:10:00,639 Speaker 1: dot com and subscribe to Katie's Crib. Wat the Most 1213 01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:05,040 Speaker 1: Starts to Most st