WEBVTT - Checklists mean less nagging

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that checklists can reduce the amount of

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<v Speaker 1>nagging necessary to get younger family members or perhaps even

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<v Speaker 1>other family members, to do what they need to do.

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<v Speaker 1>So ideally, children would wake up when they need to

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<v Speaker 1>dress and clothes appropriate for the weather, eat breakfast, and

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<v Speaker 1>brush their teeth, and pack up everything they need for

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<v Speaker 1>the day without reminding. Ideally, they would do any chores

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<v Speaker 1>they are responsible for without direction, and they would do

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<v Speaker 1>homework and instrument practice with nary a bit of input

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<v Speaker 1>from their parents. Needless to say, very few children do

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<v Speaker 1>do all of this. Some do, but many parents find

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<v Speaker 1>themselves pursuing their kids with endless reminders. Have you brushed

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<v Speaker 1>your teeth? Go get your lunch box. Remember you have

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<v Speaker 1>soccer today after school, so you need cleats and chin guards.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have your lunch box? Can you please take

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<v Speaker 1>your dishes to the sink. You can see that the

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<v Speaker 1>dishwasher is there, so why didn't you put your dishes

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<v Speaker 1>in it? Several years ago, writer kJ dell Antonia, who

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<v Speaker 1>is running the New York Times mother Load blog at

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<v Speaker 1>the time drew a distinction between what kids can and

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<v Speaker 1>will do if prompted and what they will do without

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<v Speaker 1>a reminder. Most kids do not rebel at being expected

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<v Speaker 1>to take their dishes to the sink after dinner, but

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<v Speaker 1>they may not take them unless they are reminded to

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<v Speaker 1>do so every single day. Most kids will also do

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<v Speaker 1>their homework, shower right, thank you notes to the grandparents,

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<v Speaker 1>and even wipe the toothpaste out of the sink if

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<v Speaker 1>they are reminded to, but only a rare few will

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<v Speaker 1>do all of these tasks entirely independently. The question is

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<v Speaker 1>whether you want the tasks done or you want them

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<v Speaker 1>done without reminders. If you are holding out for the

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<v Speaker 1>no reminder's goal, you are going to be constantly angry

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<v Speaker 1>about stuff not getting done. But if you are willing

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<v Speaker 1>to keep reminding people, the chores and the homework will

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<v Speaker 1>generally happen. Now, that may sound like a lot of work,

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<v Speaker 1>and it is one of the reasons that a lot

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<v Speaker 1>has been written about mental load and emotional labor. But

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<v Speaker 1>this is where today's tip comes in. A checklist can

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<v Speaker 1>potentially be the reminder without you personally having to be

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<v Speaker 1>the reminder. During the spring of When my kids were

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<v Speaker 1>home from school and it took a while for remote

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<v Speaker 1>schooling to be fully established, I created daily checklists of

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<v Speaker 1>what they were expected to do thirty minutes of on

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<v Speaker 1>line math practice, fifteen minutes of language practice with due lingo,

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<v Speaker 1>reading for an hour, playing outside for an hour. They

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<v Speaker 1>needed to check each item off when it was done. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I am not saying they did everything or did it

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<v Speaker 1>without complaining, but I could immediately see who hadn't done

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<v Speaker 1>what and thus follow up on those things rather than

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<v Speaker 1>having to ask everybody about everything. Some parents have found

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<v Speaker 1>similar benefits to checklists about daily tasks. Perhaps you and

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<v Speaker 1>the child have decided that there are three things the

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<v Speaker 1>kid needs to do after school before he or she

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<v Speaker 1>can play video games, let's say homework, instrument practice, and

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<v Speaker 1>one household chore. Rather than keep asking about each, you

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<v Speaker 1>could just ask the kid, have you done your three things?

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<v Speaker 1>Some kids might even like to have it written out

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<v Speaker 1>on a whiteboard where they can check things off, or

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<v Speaker 1>on a laminated sheet where you can check things off

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<v Speaker 1>each day and then wipe off the page for the

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<v Speaker 1>next day. If mornings are a hassle, you could create

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<v Speaker 1>a morning checklist. Similarly, an evening checklist might help ease

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<v Speaker 1>this process of getting ready for bed. The goal is

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<v Speaker 1>that the checklist can be the reminder and you can

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<v Speaker 1>just say how are you doing on the checklist if

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<v Speaker 1>you need to check in. I would note that if

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<v Speaker 1>you are trying to get other family members to help

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<v Speaker 1>on things that you have traditionally done in the past,

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<v Speaker 1>a checklist might help here too. For instance, you could

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<v Speaker 1>make a list of the things a child needs when

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<v Speaker 1>getting dropped off at daycare. That way, if another family

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<v Speaker 1>member takes this over from you, he or she will

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<v Speaker 1>not forget the child's spear, clothes or some other disaster.

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<v Speaker 1>I have seen some families do this a bit whimsically.

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<v Speaker 1>Right next to the brush teeth entry, you could write

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<v Speaker 1>remember that you are loved, or the checklist for getting

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<v Speaker 1>out the door might remind kids to pack a lunch

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<v Speaker 1>box and kindness and flexibility. That said, I have five

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<v Speaker 1>kids and I want to make something clear. Checklists work

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<v Speaker 1>better for some kids than others. Some children will cheerfully

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<v Speaker 1>and expeditiously move through a checklist. They love knowing what

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<v Speaker 1>is expected of them. Others will do it grudgingly, but

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<v Speaker 1>they like the idea of being free afterwards. If I

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<v Speaker 1>spend fifteen minutes cleaning the playroom and then you promise

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<v Speaker 1>you won't bug me afterwards, well that's cool. Others view

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<v Speaker 1>a checklist as an opportunity to rebel. They would have

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<v Speaker 1>done the chore until you put it on a checklist,

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<v Speaker 1>at which point it is an opportunity for defiance. So

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of have to know what you are working with.

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<v Speaker 1>Since your mileage may vary, you might try a checklist

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<v Speaker 1>and see how it goes. If it makes your mornings

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<v Speaker 1>or evenings goes smoothly, it makes you feel like less

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<v Speaker 1>of a nag, then that is wonderful. It's a winner.

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<v Speaker 1>If it doesn't work well, you can just go back

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<v Speaker 1>to asking the child each day to pack their lunch.

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<v Speaker 1>It is annoying. But if it does get packed, so

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<v Speaker 1>it goes. In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at before Breakfast pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p O D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

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