WEBVTT - Delaney Rowe 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.800 You'll know because you're the bellwether of cultural zegeist. What 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.080 is it called when you know guys want that kind 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:13.240 of the perfect it's the perfect, like descriptor of the girlfriend, 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:15.920 Manic Pixy dream girl. That's exactly right. Did you see 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.520 how quickly she knew what I was talking about? You 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:21.880 see how she speaks youth. She speaks youth. That's my 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:25.360 bread and butter. Well, Manic Pixie dream girl, Yeah. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:25.520 That's me. 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:28.200 Well, I think I was just manic. I was just 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:34.120 fan of Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:38.760 It was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:42.760 would ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing. 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:43.720 The other player's true nature. 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:47.519 In asking different people the same set of questions, you 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:50.920 can make observations about which truths appear to be universal. 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:53.920 And it made me wonder, what if these questions were 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.680 just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.760 revealed if I asked these questions as conversation stuff. So 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.640 I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:07.080 questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.520 They are When and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:14.000 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.039 or fictionalized, defines. 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:16.160 Love for you? 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:20.319 What question would you most like answered? What person, place, 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.319 or experience has shaped you the most? What would be 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.000 your last meal? And can you tell me something in 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.640 your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:31.040 I've gathered a group. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:35.240 Of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.000 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:41.280 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.840 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:47.800 their experience, or the most surprising. 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.000 Or created the most fertile ground to connect. 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:57.120 My guest today is writer and comedian Delaney Rowe. She 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:01.160 has millions and millions of followers on Instagram and TikTok, 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:05.080 But I hesitate to use the term social media personality 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.559 because to me as a descriptor, it lacks the depth 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:12.000 of interest that Delaney possesses. Now, this could just be 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:16.880 me forcing narratives into concepts, I understand, But she makes 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:20.440 what are essentially short films on Instagram and TikTok. Her 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:24.760 most famous creation being a character called insufferable female lead 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.600 of an indie movie. Now, perhaps I love this character 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:32.400 so much because I have been that character, But mostly 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:35.040 I think it's because it is so well observed, so 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:40.399 brilliantly executed, and that Delaney possesses that rare quality of beauty, wit, 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:44.680 and timing. I always love asking these questions of mine 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.920 to younger people, largely because they offer such a different 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:52.079 and unique perspective. At the risk of standing even more patronizing, 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.520 I just couldn't be more interested to see how Delaney 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:59.160 evolves and grows as an artist and continues to shape 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:02.400 this particular core of our culture, because she is clever 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:10.840 and observant and really cool. What person, place, or experience 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:12.200 most altered your life? 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:16.080 Okay? I used to be a private chef like before 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.880 what I do now, and that was a crazy time 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.880 in my life because it was the thing that allowed 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.840 me to realize I can do very difficult things. I 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:31.800 can access a stamina in myself that I didn't know 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:35.880 that I had, maybe growing up and then being in 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:38.720 a highly pressorized situation like being a private chef for 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.000 like big clients who are expecting so much from you. 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:45.520 You can't fuck up like you just and if you 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.560 do fuck up, you just have to get right back 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.560 on track and figure it out and you enter this 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:53.480 flow state and it's incredible. And it was also at 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.680 a time where like everyone my age was not doing 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.880 anything like that. Everyone was like a hostess or like 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.160 a nanny or like working for their dads blah blah 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:06.960 blah blah. And like I was like, I am hitting 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.800 the streets every day. I didn't know how to drive. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:11.560 I still don't know how to drive. I would walk 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.920 to the market with a wagon at six am and 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.440 like fill it with food for like these football players 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.040 and then go off and work from like seven am 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:24.240 to like eight pm at night. And I was like, 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.880 nobody can do what I'm doing like that I know 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:31.719 right now. And I was not a professional. I was 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:34.839 like learning on the job. And it gave me a 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:40.359 tremendous amount of self esteem because it was like I 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:43.080 can do hard things. And it was this kind of 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:45.240 turning point where I was like I might not be 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:47.919 a little bitch, like I can be out here in 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:51.040 the world really working hard. And it made me really 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:52.520 happy and really confident. 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.320 Wow, I think that's such a good point about learning 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:57.719 how to do hard things. I think that's like that. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.160 I talk about that a lot with my son. That 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.520 part of my job is to teach him how to 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:05.719 do that. But I think figuring out for yourself just 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:09.080 by actually doing it is even more impassibl Yeah, how 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:11.960 would you get to the venue? How would you do? Uber? 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.200 When you were go it was wagon to the grocery store, 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.680 fill the wagon and then lift the wagon into the 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:23.320 back of a black suv like Uber black suv. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:27.160 Oh my god. It was like I was ripped, Manny. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:31.200 I had these insane biceps from just you know, and 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:33.800 like you know, they're athletes, so it's like you're carrying. 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.200 Like boxes of booze in. 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:37.480 It was just and I was like this kind of 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:39.599 like tiny twenty two year old, and I was like, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.640 I don't ever have to work out. I just have 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:45.000 to do this job forever. You're on your feet your Wow. Fuck, 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.880 it's big, like in a good way, like Mustella, like 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:49.640 it's awesome. 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:51.200 I was like, I was ripped. 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:51.880 I miss it. 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.760 My god, how amazing, So which leads very nicely then 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:59.120 into what would I can't wait to hear this? What 0:05:59.160 --> 0:05:59.840 would be your last? 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:03.039 It's going to be a little disappointing. I think it 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.599 always is. My favorite food in the world is just 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.760 white rice, and I love it with just some sort 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:10.520 of like fat. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.040 My choice is butter, So like white. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:16.119 Rice with a ton of butter, and then I would 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.160 put two over easy eggs on that, and I have 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.400 that most days for breakfast. So I like that my 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:24.520 last meal is something that I kind of have every day. 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:26.040 Like that's how much I love it. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.560 That's very comforting. But I also like that. I like 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:30.560 that you have it for breakfast and that's how you 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:33.919 would go out, and it was my last meal. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.520 Two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes one 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:40.559 hundred percent Magenta Capri cigarettes. Yeah, two bottles of orange 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.120 wine and a pack cigarettes one hundred percent. 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:45.520 I love the drinking natural wine and smoking a pack 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:49.120 of ye way out. Now, have you just developed a 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:50.719 real taste for orange wine? 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:54.080 Yeah, I'm like that. I'm into that shit. I'm into 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.400 that world all of a sudden. And I actually got 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.599 into the world because when I was cheffing, I had 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:03.480 this massive budget to spend on wine every day. And 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:07.159 athletes they're not drinking a ton of wine. Most of 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:10.640 them weren't anyway, like it was more like Don Julio 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.560 nineteen forty two, Like that was kind of there. But 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.160 you know, I had all this extra budget for wine, 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.480 so I would buy the wine anyway and. 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:21.320 Then I would drink it, and then I would drink it. Yeah, 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:22.280 that's right, I was doing. 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:25.160 I'm a hero, Okay, I'm a hero. I would also 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:27.840 get like a book about wine, and then I'd be 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.320 reading a book about wine as I would wait for 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.960 them to come home and in between lunch and dinner service, 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:34.760 and I'm like, try and love it a loine and 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:35.840 have it a great time. 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:39.000 Is wine you'r thing? Is wine what you love? Yeah, 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:43.040 it's a big deal. Yeah yeah, yeah, wine. Wine is 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:43.920 a really big deal. 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:47.160 I have wine fridges in both my apartments because of that. 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:48.320 It's a big deal for me. 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:51.680 I'm not taking cocktails off the table though, Like of course, 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.360 I love a martini as much as the next broad So, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.400 like gin is also big for me. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:07:59.560 I like monkey forty seven gin. 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:00.240 You know this? 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:04.400 Do I know? That? Chin Chin Chin? For me is 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.560 just it's just the taste of hopelessness, cleaning supplies. I 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:09.000 get that. 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:11.560 I do get that. What is your drink? Oh? 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:14.880 Tequila on the Rocks. I just love a good episode. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:18.080 But I love beer, Okay, cool girl of beer. I 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:23.280 also love cheap beer, no way, man, by the way. 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.119 That's honestly. It was because you get these weird YenS, 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.120 like when you get pregnant and stuff, and one of them. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.960 I'd never really been a beer drinker before, and then 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:32.920 I had this yen that never went away since I 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:36.679 had my son, and I just I fucking love them hops. 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.760 That is great, that's sexy. I love that you're saying 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:42.160 that it's sexy and it's cool on Never in a 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:46.280 million years though sexy. It's little maintenance. She's like down. 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:53.600 I love that. Yeah, cheap beer and expensive tequila. I 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:55.599 can't believe you're a chef. There's so much more that 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:57.200 I want to ask you about that. Wait, did you 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:58.800 just chef for athletes? Was that? 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.760 Fol It was mostly athletes and then it was some 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.120 other actors and like people like that as well. 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.600 But did you stop doing that to do what you're 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.040 doing now or did you do them in like concurrently? 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:13.200 Yeah? I was doing at the end there, I was 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.520 doing it concurrently and it was so embarrassing. I'd be 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:18.360 like in the kitchen making like gaspacho and I would 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:22.160 like hear my voice on their phone, like I would 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:23.520 come up on their TikTok and I was like, that's 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:26.840 not me, that's a look alike. And then I had 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:30.439 a job and naturally, and then in that gap between 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:31.680 finding a new driver, I was like, what if I 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:34.280 just don't find a new job and see what happens 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:35.840 with this internet stuff? 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:40.960 And then blah and beholt I'm on Mini Drivers podcast. Dude, 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.720 would to be able to like, it's so impressive to 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.880 be able to convert what's funny and interesting and that 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.599 you have a facility for into actually being able to 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.200 live off. Like that's quite something, Like it really is, 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:54.560 Like I think it's such an extraordinary bit of alchemy 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.280 to ever be able to take your interest that's outside 0:09:57.280 --> 0:09:59.440 of what you've been previously doing, particularly and make a 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.600 living out of there. Fuck yeah, it's amazing, just amazing. 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.160 You do it too, find what you love and get 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:20.880 someone to pay you to do it. So what quality 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:22.920 do you like? Least about yourself? 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:30.280 Easy? I can be so self centered and single minded. 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:33.920 I was having a discussion with someone last night who 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:40.040 was talking about a very specific experience to them, and 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:44.679 I went no, that can't be right, and he goes, no, no, no, 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.840 Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:53.280 true for me, And I was like, aha, yes, you're 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.440 probably right about that. So a lot of that goes 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:58.040 on with me, a lot of if I haven't felt it, 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.160 how could it possibly be going on? And so trying 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:05.199 to step outside my own experience is really like what 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:07.640 I've been working on in the twilight of my twenties. 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:09.480 Here, how do you do that? Do you do that 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:11.680 by listening and going I'm just going to let this 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:13.559 like talk and I'm not going to comment on what 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:15.200 he's saying, even if I don't agree with it, Like 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:16.440 how do you practice it? 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.200 How I practice it is by allowing myself to be 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:25.360 incorrect a lot like looking for reasons that evidence in 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:30.120 my mind for whatever I'm thinking, like the contrary evidence 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.079 of that, where I'm like, okay, now look for examples 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.640 in the world where what you're so sure of is 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:37.720 not true and you can always find it. 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:38.719 So I try to do that. 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:41.079 I try to prove myself wrong a lot because I 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:42.400 actually really want to be wrong. 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:47.360 It makes me feel hopeful. I love it. You must 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:49.840 love getting pulled over by the cops. Well, thank you 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.360 for setting right. I needed to feel wrong and now 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.480 I do. Maybe that's my king being wrong sounds like 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.480 it either way. That's so hilarious. It's like being cool 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.760 breaking an entering, right, I'm just doing this is like right, 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:05.160 this is my I'm trying to better myself. Yeah, this 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.880 honestly this doesn't live like self improvement. It looks like 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:12.640 I'm trying to make your jewelry, but it is self improvement. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.760 Right, It's that, And then it also manifests itself and 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:19.600 just like this intense like horse blinder focus around something 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.840 that I'm working on, where it is like everything around 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:28.080 me is just like destroyed tables flipped over, like apartment 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:32.959 in disarray until I like finish that thing. And I'm 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.640 using like examples of like physical objects, but same with relationships, 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.560 like I will let things really go by the wayside, 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:43.040 communicating with my family, like romantic things. It's just like 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:46.480 jettison that to edit this goddamn video. Like that kind 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:50.239 of single mindedness can really be like it's not pleasurable. 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.240 It feels bad even when I'm doing it, but I 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.520 can't really help it, so I think it all is 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.600 wrapped up in a self centeredness that I'm trying to 0:12:57.800 --> 0:12:58.360 grow out of. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:01.480 You know what, I home, you didn't grow out of 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:05.400 all of it. Some therapist, rather brilliantly it said to 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.760 me once when I was whatever it was I was 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:09.319 going through, It was like, you never want to get 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:13.079 rid of one hundred percent of your shit. You always 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:17.960 need to keep a certain percentage in order to recognize it, 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.000 in order to know it, and also in order to 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:22.560 pay it its dues for having taught you. And I 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.400 was like, oh my god, I'm supposed to literally tithe 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:29.240 to my emotional and psychological shit. And he was like, yeah, 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.320 pretty much. I think it's really interesting. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:32.480 And I think also those. 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:36.120 Women were told there was supposed to iron out every 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:39.400 single thing that is somehow difficult or unappealing, when a 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.960 natural thing what you've just described. Yes, I know that 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.280 being self centered and single minded. I've been there, of 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.800 suffering the loss of relationships and family, being mad, But 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:53.520 it's also becomes the engine. There's nobody else motivating you. 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.640 It is part of your engine. It is part of 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.320 what propels us to create and to make things, and 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.480 it does require a certain Maybe you'll reframe it won't 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.760 just be self centeredive, but it will be yeah driven. 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.240 I mean anyone could see that by looking at the 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.440 films that you make, the videos that you may thank you, 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.600 I mean you have to be in order to create 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:16.840 that content. I think the best thing about you and 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:18.120 the worst thing about you, or. 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.280 Often like just two sides of the same coin like that. Yeah, 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.320 so you need it? What's yours? Yeah? 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:29.120 What's yours? Everything mine a spiral, a spiral, and I 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.840 pull everything into the vortex of the small thing that's 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:37.040 going wrong is suddenly everything? Is this just in a 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:38.760 form of anxiety? Do you? 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:39.840 I think? 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:43.400 Yeah? Which I never had that word. I really genuinely 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:45.720 never had that word. And there was never a bottom 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:47.800 to it, so you could never actually hit the bottom 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:49.360 and go, oh what was that? It was a kind 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.040 of I think it's a free fall. And I think 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:53.200 also because there wasn't a word for it, and so 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.560 there wasn't a medication or a therapy or anything. Is 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.360 it be years of putting that together to go, oh, 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:04.000 this is thing I do. I remember introducing this to 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.840 my boyfriend almost like it was like an elderly aunt 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:11.280 who I have custody of, darling this is my spiraling 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.520 free for She's fragile and she's sweet, but if you 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:16.640 just put her on the sofa with a cup of tea, 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.640 usually she gets it back together and she won't shit 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.000 the bad. I love that. I love gently explaining your 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:22.800 own sort. 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:25.840 Of like pathologies to other people, being like, hey, this 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.800 is what's going on right now. I even have a 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:29.920 signal now to the people in my life. I shake 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.080 my hands like this. If I'm like going into this 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.720 weird sort of introverted like the hall, I just go. 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:40.280 I'll talk to you in three hours. Listen. Communication and 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.560 the ability to teach people about your language. I think 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.840 that's really cool to be able to do that. Yeah, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.120 it's not easy, all this living now, it's not You've 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.200 got to find whatever tools you possibly can. Becoming friendly 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:55.400 with and having signals I think is all really positive. 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.200 I love what you do. Jazz hair. 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.400 Yeah, I don't know. It seems like a way to 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.200 make people laugh when it's happening. So it's just sort 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:02.520 of like. 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:11.600 Hey, delady's going into that mode exactly. I might have 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:18.720 to steal that. That's really good. That's really great. Where 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:20.760 and when were you happiest? 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:27.160 Okay, I recently threw a dinner party at my loft 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:31.160 in Los Angeles. This moment where I wake up and 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.360 I know that that evening I'm entertaining, I'm having a 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.880 bunch of people over. That moment is when I'm the happiest. 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:40.360 When I get to look forward to a day of 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:45.760 writing a list of groceries with a pen and a 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:49.880 piece of paper and taking it to like one of 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:55.040 those tiny like gourmet food stores and really nerding out 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:59.320 on some weird brand of grain that I didn't know existed, 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.880 and then and like heirloom blah blah blah blah and 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.520 broth and all that stuff, and getting really crazy with 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.879 that and seeing what's in season, and then putting together 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.520 a menu and like talking to the butcher and the 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:13.760 fishmonger and being like, how much do I need to 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.080 feed sixteen people? And then there's this dialogue that's happening there, 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.160 and then you feel like you're like, oh my god, 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.520 I really live in my city. I know my butcher. 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.159 And then you come home. 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:27.400 And it's the stay of repping and creating sauces while 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.840 all simultaneously watching like a Nancy Meyer's movie at the background. 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:32.919 That's my ritual I love to put on a movie 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:35.160 and I'm getting ready for a dinner party, and then 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.760 it's the making the table, setting the table. I did 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:42.199 some really crazy things where I would like go to 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.000 the fabric District in Los Angeles and make my own 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:49.360 tablecloth and really get into that kind of thing. And 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.920 then you're having a glass of wine right before everybody 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:55.640 shows up, and everyone comes in and maybe you've invited 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:59.080 your crush and that's going to be exciting, and there's 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.919 so much wine. The night is so full of potential. 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:05.320 So a day like that is always when I'm the happiest, 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:08.600 and it's imperative that it is in my space. Having 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.919 people to MySpace like that's just what brings a home warmth. 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:13.920 And so I just got this place in New York 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:17.760 and it's significantly smaller here, and so I haven't quite 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:19.320 been able to do the type of parties they do 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:21.880 in Los Angeles, but I'm hoping to bring that here 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.560 so I feel that same kind of happiness. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.480 Wow, God, if I've got sixteen people coming over, I 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.159 wake up on the morning to be like, oh fucking footballs, yeah, wow, 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.119 so good. How most people find that way? I know, 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.000 and my sister loves it. You two and you I'm 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.240 sure are very good at it because you take pleasure 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:40.560 in it. 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.840 Yeah, I think it's a performance or maybe even a manipulation, 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:45.919 because it's look at how I can show you that 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:47.040 my life is put together. 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.120 Look at all these little tricks I'm showing you. 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:52.480 How I shut then oyster in, how I was able 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:54.679 to get sixteen bottles of wine. 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:56.560 It is a little bit of a manipulation. 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:57.920 And I think about that a lot. 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:02.239 That's interesting how I'm come instantly, not constantly every now 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.040 and again, when I'm stop breaking down, Like performance and 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:09.280 being an actor, I can never get away from the 0:19:09.320 --> 0:19:13.560 embarrassing need for approbation and of people's acknowledgement of what 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:16.680 I've done and needing supports the nice way of saying 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.160 it around that, are you aware of kind of your 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:21.960 foibles around the things that you like? You say, that's 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:24.040 a tenet of you. Having a dinner party is going. 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.720 Maybe there's some manipulation in there of wanting people to 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:30.119 be or thinking about it. She got oysters and she 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:32.160 knew how to shuck it. Yeah. Do you think that's 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:33.680 part of being an actor or do you think that's 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:35.360 just part of your pathology. 0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:38.080 I definitely think it's part of being a performer of 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:40.760 any kind. I think that people who have been doing 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:42.400 it for a really long time and have been able 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:45.200 to sustain a career as a performer probably are able 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:48.119 to shed that sooner rather than later, because it's an 0:19:48.160 --> 0:19:52.240 unsustainable way to go about doing it expecting that sort 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.560 of positive feedback loop. 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:57.160 Yeah, I think about sometimes my apartment. 0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:00.000 It's more of like a set that I've like, really 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:04.399 thought about the production design of it more than enough apartment. Oh, 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:07.760 I've got these beautiful gold salt and pepper grinders. 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:09.480 Do I like these? 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:11.760 Or do I just want them so that people see 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.760 them and go, Delaney has those? 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:16.639 And what does that say? 0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:19.240 That she found those or sourced them from an interesting 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:22.160 vantage website and she must have such a rich internal life? 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:25.119