WEBVTT - The Scam You’ve Never Heard About (Scams recap) 0:00:01.280 --> 0:00:04.800 Are you ready for another fantastic episode? Or what I 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:08.280 am you right now? I'm ready? You know how we 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:12.320 say it, Let's connect, let's grow, let's go, let's red table. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:16.360 That's red table. That Hey y'all, Hey, what's up? And 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:19.360 welcome to Let's Red Table back. I'm Tracy T. Brow 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.760 and I'm Cora Presley, and we are talking about scams 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:28.800 again today, but this time. This time we have a 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:34.800 guest coming on who lost thirty dollars sure, supposed boyfriend okay, 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:37.599 and to help get some context around what happened and 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.320 to inform all of us how to not fall prey 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.479 to scams such as this. We also have a private 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:47.600 investigative joining us who specializes in making sure the people 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:51.520 you meet online are who they say they are. Let's 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:58.440 get started, man, Listen, listen, Tracy, have you been skimming before? 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:03.800 I guess that says it all. Well, you know, the 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:06.800 scams are in a spectrum too, right, There's a divide 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:11.840 between scam versus identity their first fraud, online fraud or 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.280 just or just a fool. Because I've been a food 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:19.720 several times. I was a fool and being scamming, scammed 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:23.319 off at the same time, it was just the same. Yeah, 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.640 and it wasn't even it was like, it wasn't even financial, 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:27.440 So let me talk about that. I just realized I 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:30.440 was a pun in a situation with the X. I 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.080 was the girlfriend. I had believed at the time I 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:38.480 was a girlfriend, And evidently they had several other girlfriends 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.200 and they had to go to court, and they had 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.560 told their other girlfriends that I was paying for the lawyer. 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.880 Oh my gosh, it was actually a quarter point of lawyers. 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:53.200 And I was like, what's happening here? So just being 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:56.960 a part or in the mix of that. Wait, wait, wait, 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:00.920 the other girlfriends thought you were paying They gave money 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:03.760 to pay you to pay the No, no, no, never 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:06.440 an exchange of funds, nothing like that. It was just 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:10.239 when things started to unravel as this person was incarcerated, 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:12.919 it was, yeah, we know you're paying for the quarter 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:18.160 pointed lawyer. I'm actually the girlfriend. You actually not the girlfriend. 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.160 I'm actually the girlfriend. And he definitely has a quarter 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.880 pointed lawyer that is absolutely free. So I don't know 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:29.799 what part of court acquainted. People believe what they want 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.399 to believe, and we were all fools for this one individual. 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:38.840 So that was scam moment you. I just want you 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:42.880 to know you're not alone and getting scamming scammed. The 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.240 appreciate a lot of stuff going on Red Table Talk. 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:51.720 They had the inventing Anna right, had the tender Swindler. 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:57.000 Now we have a lovely daughter and father. It's been 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:00.239 scammed in this episode. It's a lot. People are going 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:02.920 through a lot nowadays. I just I think because we 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:05.080 all are on the side of giving people the benefit 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:10.120 of the doubt. We talked about that benefit what people 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:13.480 are saying, because why would you lie? But we know 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:17.480 what they would lie now we know because they are liars. 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.079 That's the part right there. Thank you, Tracy. That's exactly 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.200 what they are. No, it's the truth as plain as 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:30.480 you can say. Yes. And I can't tell you how 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:35.320 many times you have this. I bet my mom regularly 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.480 calls me and says, Tracy, I need to go. I 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.080 got this email and I need to fill this out 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.960 and I need to pay. And I'm like, Mom, you don't, Oh, 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.400 these people, you don't know, these people, you have no 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:50.840 account with these people. Cut it out? Are sure? She 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:52.440 wants to be sure. That's one of the other groups 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.360 of people that are so taken advantage of the scamps 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:57.520 on a regular basis, senior citizens. My mom is the same. 0:03:57.600 --> 0:03:59.520 She wants to do right. She if she has a bill, 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:01.240 we're gonna go and knock it out. We don't want 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.360 anything on our credit or think that goes back to 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.600 trauma of just life and trying to raise that credit 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:07.760 score depending on where you are in life. You don't 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:09.600 want it to fall for anything. So of course they 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:12.960 want to handle it asap and people know that. So 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.520 we've had an opportunity to top. But you know, we 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.760 absolutely love being able to hear from our community. Car right, 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.360 So we asked our community, how do you keep yourself 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.440 safe from scams? And here are some of your answers. 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:28.760 Tristan Scott, who is from my Red Table Talk RBA community. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:35.440 She says, don't log in or click on the thing. Listen, trysted, 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:38.000 We are with you. Tryst And Scott's like, just don't 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:43.160 touch anything, okay, don't do it. Don't in, don't touch anything, 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:46.720 don't click anything. Just keep yourself and sanitize your hands, 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:52.200 right right, I understand, And you're bond, Romy said, don't 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:57.000 click on any link. This is the thing. You're bond. 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.920 We agree, it's hard if you click on links, that's 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:04.760 now unsubscribe, getting put into a whole, another land, a 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.400 whole in other world. Diane Feeling Cook said, I refused 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:11.400 to give in to pressure. When people call me asking 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:15.200 for money, I'm want you. Diane's good, it's a note 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:17.720 for me. That's good because that's one of the tactics, 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.800 right to use pressure. That was the whole I R 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.520 scam was like, you have to pay and you need 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:24.840 to use a card. That's like you go to the 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.400 place they did that. There's a scam here locally where 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:32.120 they were using our utility company, and really, okay, you 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:34.440 had to pay or your utilities gonna be cut off. 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:36.880 And to pay with a card, like you have to 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:38.719 go to a certain store and get a certain cards 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:44.760 five And it's exactly like what that is so pitiful, right, 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:46.600 And someone like me just say, y'all just have to 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.279 cut it off. I want to see it. That's where 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:52.680 I met with go ahead and do it, Go ahead 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.640 and do it. Our community, Come on, our community is amazing. 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.080 They're not clicking on links or anything. You guys are 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.920 keeping yourselves safe, and we appreciate that. Before we take 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.280 a quick break, we want to remind you that you 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:07.840 can leave us a review on our Heart Radio and 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:11.240 Apple podcast, which helps us know you're listening and gives 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:15.240 us more visibility so other listeners can find us. Now, 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:24.599 time for a break before we welcome our guests. We're 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:29.000 bringing to fellow RTT community members to the Virtual Red Table. 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:33.040 Samantha Cooper is a private investigator in London and the 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:36.400 founder of Rogue Daters. I Love That, a company that 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:40.120 specializes in investigating people on dating sites for clients who 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:45.400 want to make sure they're meeting potential love interests, not catfishers. 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.200 She started this company after her divorce led her to 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:51.279 try outdating sites and she did not like what she 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:57.080 was saying. Whoa, We are so ready, I mean really 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.920 ready to hear your stories and all the red flag 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:01.960 acts you've seen that we should be looking out for. 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:06.120 Thanks for joining us, un let's you're at table that Samantha, 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:10.440 Thank you for having me. Yes, now we're calling you, Samantha. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:12.440 We're calling you Sam. All that mind you can go 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:16.760 with sign because Sam Sam the investigator just sounds good. 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:20.080 I love that. I love it. And we have doctor 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:23.800 Zakia Robins McNeil. She's joining us from Minnesota, to share 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:27.040 her story of being scammed out of thirty thou dollars 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:29.800 by her boyfriend at the time. Hey, dr Z, I 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:31.840 know you see I can call you that right listen. 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:33.960 She thought she was building a relationship with the man 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:37.160 she loved, but after three years, she discovered she wasn't 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.480 the only woman he was dating or using for money. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.480 Doctor Z has not shared the story publicly or with 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.800 any people in her life, so we are grateful that 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:49.080 she is with us today to hopefully help others avoid 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:52.040 this type of situation. Thank you again for joining us, 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:56.200 doctor Z. Thank you for having me. Doctor is a kid. 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.840 We want to beat that man up. Listen. We do 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:12.760 like stopped going it already. This is part of the 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:17.200 show where we reveal which moments made us pause, rewind, 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:21.280 and listen again. I love this. It's the wait what 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:25.240 wait what when Nikki and her dad Melvin, revealed they 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:31.000 had lost wait for this, two hundred eighty thousand dollars 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:35.680 each to a cryptocurrency scam. I met this person in 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:40.520 early November and we lost everything by the end of December. Well, 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.559 how much had you invested? By that? We invest in 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:47.760 all the house money that we had two thousand. Yeah, 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:51.600 it was everything we had. Okay, that was Wait what 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:55.560 it was heart stopping clutching the pearls? Wait what for me? 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.760 That's a life savings? Yeah? How did you ladies feel 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:03.040 about that when you saw it? In the episode that 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:08.160 was that was Wait one minute? Right? Will you see 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:15.160 me leaning back? Right? Lean with it? They could be triggering, right, 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:22.840 Watching that episode was very triggering, triggering. Unfortunately, I've seen 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:26.560 other cases that are similar to this and it still 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:31.880 shocks me to my core today. So two dollars is 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:37.200 just somebody's future. It's terrible, right, that's key somebody's future. 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:40.640 But it also affects their confidence of their own judgment 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:46.040 because they can't believe that somebody would do that to them, 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:49.920 and they start to question every decision that they've made 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:54.360 that's led up to the parting with the money? Right? 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.400 What about Also when Jada shared that she almost got 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:01.760 scammed because her friend's email got hecked. It people's emails 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:04.120 would get hacked, So you're thinking you're getting it from 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.480 someone that you know. I just got one of those 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:11.320 prominent friend of mine. They said they couldn't get to money. 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:15.000 Could I go and get this money? I called her assistant, 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:19.640 and of course they were like her email had been hacked, 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.720 so at least there was an assistant involved. But have 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.000 you guys ever received a weird email from a friend 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.720 or those messages on social media? I've seen him on 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:33.439 Instagram right right, Facebook, Instagram right like wait, wait a minute, 0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:37.400 it don't even say I'm like you exactly, and I 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:41.960 love like hello dear or my queen. I think my 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:49.600 queen okay? And who called queen exactly exactly. I got 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:54.600 added on Twitter by Liam Neathan, the actor, who had 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:57.440 nine people that he was following, and I was one 0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.959 of them. And then we had the old that's its 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:03.319 need to message me to ask if I liked his movies, 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.079 and I thought, gosh, he obviously doesn't know, so I 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:11.120 did reply and saying I'm a romance fraud investigator. I 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.720 didn't hear anything back, but I did block him and 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:16.880 report him and the profile has been taken down. But 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:19.840 it's just a sheer audacity of it. But it's the 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:23.640 idea then for you to believe, like all the billions 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:27.320 of people in the world, Liam Neeson picked me, I'm 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:30.800 a hopeless romantic too, and give me like that, you know, 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:35.000 the Chad though they're going to jack exactly. But if 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:39.440 they follow hundreds of people and then thousands of people, 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.400 I know they won't have a blue tick because they 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:44.800 won't get verified. But other people could miss that and 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.080 think they're actually really popular, and yeah, maybe this is 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:53.480 some kind of side account that's been made. So yeah, 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:57.280 they need to be stopped very early on. I think 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.920 I'm going to start telling people I'm a fraud investigators 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.400 just to get them off my back. You want leave 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:08.080 me alone. My name is Sam, and I investigate fraud 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:18.520 trying to scam me? Hilarious, That's exactly what's gonna happen. 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:20.880 One of the other weight what moments that we had 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:24.840 was when Evil the Last Quest, The CEO of Identity 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:29.920 Theft Resource Center shared the while in twenty twenty people 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.880 lost up for about a hundred and twenty million dollars 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:38.440 to crypto scams, in one losses skyrocketed to seven hundred 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:43.080 fifty million dollars. Now when we look at cryptocurrency as 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.880 a fraud payment tool, in the losses were about a 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.840 hundred and twenty four million that were reported to the 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:52.960 Federal Trade Commission. Hold on, if that blows your mind. 0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:58.920 Seven hundred and fifty million. That's so crazy, But it 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:00.560 also makes sense to me because as you think about 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:04.719 part of the pandemic, people were at home. They were 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:08.200 looking for I hate to say this, but looking for 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:10.480 love and all the wrong places, you know that song 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:13.720 and its lonely and maybe wanting to believe something that 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:17.800 wasn't true because they were socially deprived. What do y'all think? Yeah, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.319 looking for quick money? How can I my money? How 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:25.320 can I my money? I see other people doing good, 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:29.160 they're flipping their money, and we just have more time 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.520 to scroll. So I think that the scrolling time increased. Therefore, 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:36.240 the which is scrolling past increase, the whole time increased. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:40.520 The scam time increased, that definitely. And I also think 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:44.400 that people at an older age are using smartphones that 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.319 maybe they hadn't used before. And I don't think they 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:52.280 realize that when you're online, you're letting people into your home, 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:56.000 into your safe space. You wouldn't naturally let through your 0:13:56.040 --> 0:14:00.240 front door. Right, that's so true. That's such a old 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.080 number though, from a hundred million to seven hundred fifty 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.640 million in one year, that's a way to figure that. 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:11.880 Heckel Jackal and hide. I think you need to remember 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:16.760 those are reported figures. It will be way higher that 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:24.120 part that yes, Sam reported right right the other way, what, 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.160 of course, is not just the money but their actual face. 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.960 Even Christian King's whole story of having his photos stolen 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.640 and used on countless social media accounts and dating sites 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.080 and then him being contacted by the victims, bless their hearts, 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.880 who were madly in love. Right. I just started getting 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.240 messages on my social media. People will reach out to 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.000 me and be like, hey, did you know that your 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:48.120 images are being used? And I started getting hundreds of 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:51.480 messages a day. I've had women reach out to me 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.680 and tell me that they sent tens of thousands of 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:58.040 dollars with promises that I'm going to come home to them, 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.760 meet their family, and we're gonna started life together. Can 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.680 you imagine this happening to you? I personally can't because 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.880 it's like, what what do you do with that? What 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:10.800 did I say to you? That was my first question. 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.080 What was I saying? Because it's oh, that is hilarious, 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:19.120 car What What did the pseudoman say? What did I say? 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.080 That's very very good question. But could you imagine you're 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.520 walking down the Street, and you've got these people coming 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:27.160 up to saying, why didn't you call me back, Why 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:30.240 didn't you message me? You owe me money or to 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:35.800 your partner or something. You've seen him with another girl 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:45.280 like you spout like, lady, I don't know you, what's happening? Yes, ridiculous, ridiculous. 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.480 I felt for Tristan King because that's just horrifying. But 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:53.360 that's one of the challenges of being good looking. Bless 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.920 their hearts. People used you use your picture and images 0:15:56.000 --> 0:16:00.200 and likenesses for catfishing, right. I'm sure it's flattering, but 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:04.120 it must be very, very annoying. So on a serious note, 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:08.240 have you ever googled pictures of yourself to see that 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.280 these are little pictures that you've put up? Yes, I have, 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.360 because I found when I was scammed Forever Go, when 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.840 my identity was stolen Forever and Go in the nineties, 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.560 I looked up Tracy Road to see just how many 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:23.680 there were, if there were any others, because I thought 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.560 I was one of one, And turns out I was 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.480 one of five hundred and forty one, and so there 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:30.160 were a lots. There are lots and lots of pictures 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.640 of Tracy Row. So I made sure that my middle 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:36.560 initial was included to differentiate me, just ever so slightly 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:38.960 so that it makes a little bit of a difference. 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.400 I never thought about that. How about there was another 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:45.320 as a kid, Robbins in Philadelphia, and she went to 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:50.360 two of my same doctors, see same same doctor. And 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:55.800 we found out when I got a call for an appointment, 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:59.320 and I'm like, but I didn't make an appointment. It 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:03.680 was like literally a gastrol intrologist, like so random, so 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:06.400 like random, but I we went to the same gastrol 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:10.200 intrologists and they put my name in for her appointment. 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:16.560 But we were both your rob. I wasn't then either. 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.800 I wasn't then either, and I didn't have the hyphenated name. 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.800 But literally, there's another that Kida Robbins in phil who 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:29.000 would ever guess that part spelled the same way too? Say, 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:30.680 I was just about to ask you, what's it the 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:35.080 same spelling And the poor doctor's office was probably mortified 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:45.080 when they realized they met that mistake. So we've alluded 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:47.840 to your scam story, doctor Z, but now we just 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.040 want to hear from you. How did your relationship with 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:54.560 this person begin and how did you realize that you 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:57.600 were being scammed. Take a deep breath if you need to. 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:00.880 Oh no, I'm good because when you're no longer bothered 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:05.639 by it, you don't have a reaction. I'm actually okay. 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.880 I mean this was like twenty years ago ago, So 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:14.439 it started. I actually was interested in him, and I 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:16.479 had another friend of was like, oh, look you remember 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:19.920 him from back in the day. I'm interested in don't 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:23.000 you know. He'd be tall, handsul, looked like he got 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:29.000 it going on. Look like he got it going on right. 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:33.520 So start to end it was three years. You know 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:38.680 how like people start having issues and sob stories. Now 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:41.280 I will say again not to throw the person totally 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:44.480 under the bus. I don't know if it was intended 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.520 to be the way that it did or it could 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.960 have been. And I'm just like aloof to it. It 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.360 would start with like little sob stories. And when you 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:58.320 are a giver and a fixer, there are some people 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.560 that like prey on that. Absolutely right, love bombing occurred. 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:04.639 So you're just like this person loves me. Oh he 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.919 needs a cell phone, Oh okay, Oh he needs clothes. 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:11.480 Oh oh, you're trying to go and see your kids 0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.400 in another state and you don't have the money. It's 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:19.280 like right, right, right, And it's like you got me 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:22.240 around the family, you have me around your friends. We're 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:24.760 together all the time. I want to be supportive. So 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.159 it's just like I am that supportive check. Like the 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:29.840 thing is, if you are down, I'm not going to 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:33.680 leave you down. But you do have to pay attention 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:37.600 when one person's hands is always in their pockets and 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:41.920 you the one with your hands always given wow. So 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:46.520 it started with sob stories and it just escalated, escalated 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:48.560 to a cell phone bill. Now you got a cell 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.280 phone on my playing, and it's like, Okay, when you 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.240 have the money, you pay it. When not, it's like 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:56.680 it's gonna get paid because that's on. I'm gonna keep 0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:59.720 my phone on. And then it would be oh, like right, 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:01.840 you need a ride to work? Cool, because I want 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:03.000 to make sure you get the work. I had a 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:07.200 flexible schedule. Get The word was just like, you know what, 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:10.840 whatever it is you need, I got you because that 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:13.240 is what a loyal person does. You know you're in 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.919 the relationship, You're gonna make sure that you make is okay. 0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:19.440 You're going to make sure that those barriers are removed. 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:21.960 Got it. I'm tracking with you right now, but I 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:26.720 have to know, as a woman of color, doctor Z, 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.000 I know, were you telling your friends this stuff? And 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:34.440 they were like, girl, not at all, not understand because 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.720 you could you don't want to, but you also just 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:39.160 don't want to hold the stuff against them, right because 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.160 then you don't want nobody looking at him like, okay, 0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:46.080 So you weren't telling even though you were okay, you 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:49.520 kept all these different things to yourself. Okay. I think 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:53.320 people don't want to share it because although they're seeing it, 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:59.199 they don't want to believe it. Yeah, So, Sam, what 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:02.560 stood out to you when you're hearing doctor Z tell 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.680 her story? What were the red flags? The first bit 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:08.639 where she said the little sub stories. And I'm a 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:12.159 great believer that someone will give you a test and 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:14.679 they will see how much you will take. So it 0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:17.160 might be a little thing of can you just lay 0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:22.119 out ten dollars to see if you will do it? 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:24.200 It just starts off in those little things to see 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:29.119 if they com mold you into what they want. And 0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:33.119 definitely the love bombing where they make you feel that 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:36.360 you need them and that you're reliant on them. And 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:40.600 I really think that the common denominator on all victims 0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:44.440 of romance fraud is that they pick people that are 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:50.600 kind and caring. They will test very early on, so 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:55.000 as the key of saying, there's small things, and then 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:59.320 gradually they just get bigger and bigger. Happily went from 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:06.040 little little it a little little too big. When did 0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:12.280 you see it with Clara? I want to say, really 0:22:12.280 --> 0:22:18.040 when the person was incarcerated. They ended up being incarcerated, 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:22.280 and then I started finding out that they were telling 0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:26.040 other women the same exact story and then getting other 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:31.760 things from them other women. Wait, right, right, look right, 0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:33.560 you had that Wait what I can't even lean back 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.200 in my chair because I don't want my chair to 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:39.120 squeak and messed up this recording. I can't even lean back. 0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:42.080 And it was like, oh, like it took a minute. 0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:44.159 It took a minute because I won't even say that 0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:48.080 friends and family were probably in on it as well, 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:52.000 because it was just like you're hiding other things. But 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:55.960 then you can't hide things, but for so long you can't. 0:22:56.000 --> 0:22:59.560 God through the universe or whatever showed me what I 0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.560 needed to see when I saw it, and this was 0:23:02.920 --> 0:23:07.120 almost three years in, this was yea, And it took 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:11.600 him literally being incarcerated, and that was when the jig 0:23:11.640 --> 0:23:16.879 started to be upright. Wow, I am absolutely that's and 0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:19.119 I want to dig all the way into this because 0:23:19.160 --> 0:23:22.080 there's so many people that are going to be gifted 0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:26.119 by your experience of sharing the truth of this, because 0:23:26.560 --> 0:23:28.760 someone is in the midst of this right now and 0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:31.119 they may not want to accept the reality of it. 0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:33.480 They may be in denial about what's happening with them. 0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:37.679 But that is amazing. Sam, you're listening to this, What 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:42.359 are you saying to yourself as a professional? Okay? I 0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:44.879 think one thing that people don't realize as well is 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:49.480 obviously it's happening to both men and women, and people 0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:54.439 think it's normally men that are the scammers, but people 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.080 don't stop and think it's actually probably a group of 0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:02.119 people and they're all taking on this one identity and 0:24:02.560 --> 0:24:05.639 initially they will kind of cast their net really wide 0:24:05.760 --> 0:24:09.320 to catch people. Especially with the ones that don't meet. 0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:13.560 It's different if you've met them. That's just it's wrong, 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:17.800 isn't it to actually meet somebody and build a life 0:24:17.840 --> 0:24:20.439 with them. But I'm seeing an increase in that as well. 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:24.240 But certainly for the ones that meet online and they 0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:28.600 don't talk, they don't video chat. This is why I 0:24:28.840 --> 0:24:32.280 created road datas because a crime hasn't been committed at 0:24:32.320 --> 0:24:36.240 this stage yet. They need somewhere to turn to to findancers. 0:24:36.400 --> 0:24:39.400 Otherwise you're just going to fall down that rabbit hole. 0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:43.000 And it's it's just terrible. It's a slippery slope, right, 0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:47.000 it is because you're emotionally invested. We would let our 0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:50.399 heart rule our head rather than the other way. But 0:24:50.480 --> 0:24:53.520