Speaker 1: Welcome to J dot L, a production of iHeartRadio. Well
Speaker 1: hilarusy here here, Hi, everybody, Welcome back to J dot
Speaker 1: L the podcast. I'm here with my sister friends. You
Speaker 1: know him La Saint Clair. That's how I felt, I
Speaker 1: don't know Adria Graydon Dansler were starting with o's okay,
Speaker 1: how about this one? Oh oh oh no, that was
Speaker 1: Johnny Gil. I couldn't get the right note at the beginning.
Speaker 1: But we're working out. Y'all knew what I was saying,
Speaker 1: don't you know? If you know?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Anyway? Hell and oh, this is Jill Scott and I'm
Speaker 1: sitting here with my sister friends. You always wonder like
Speaker 1: why is it that we don't why is it that
Speaker 1: we don't have a video. Well, currently I'm sitting here
Speaker 1: taking my braids out, preparing for what I got to
Speaker 1: do next, Hunty, and I was thinking about that moment,
Speaker 1: that black girl moment when you cut your braid too
Speaker 1: short and end up cutting your own damn hair. Oh lord,
Speaker 1: I told you, I'm I'm I'm ridiculous. Cut below shoulder
Speaker 1: all at all times. I know not that long. I
Speaker 1: know it has not under any circumstances grown that long.
Speaker 1: But I just I do it anyway, do you.
Speaker 2: It's for the potential.
Speaker 3: You're in a low Asian.
Speaker 2: We all do it. It's like maybe I had a growth.
Speaker 1: Maybe I had a grocer first. It's the delusion for me,
Speaker 1: don't want to cut my hair.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: Looking at your hair and it is long. I see
Speaker 1: where you've cut the braid right, yeah, And I see
Speaker 1: where your hair is, and I understand, yes, you're you
Speaker 1: have you got it like you know the right one. Girl,
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 2: Going shorter than a bob. I'm not cutting this shorter
Speaker 2: than a bob.
Speaker 1: Go to the We've all made that mistake at some
Speaker 1: point and cut the cut the wrong length. That a
Speaker 1: ruiny day because the style that you have underneath your
Speaker 1: braids now no longer works because you've got a whole
Speaker 1: chunk cut out and what was right ain't Yeah, I protected, it.
Speaker 2: Was protected style. I don't feel protected.
Speaker 1: I feel I feel yeah. So you've got to take
Speaker 1: precautions not to do these things to yourself. You don't
Speaker 1: want is to have a full day of being a
Speaker 1: bitch ass bench.
Speaker 2: I said it.
Speaker 4: A whole day just being because it's a good reasoning
Speaker 4: that happened to you, I don't know all bitch.
Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about why these bites? When
Speaker 1: is it? Why that that the break too short? What's
Speaker 1: your problem?
Speaker 3: Sir?
Speaker 1: Well, what's up with you?
Speaker 2: All of it?
Speaker 1: Is it really up to us to understand it ain't
Speaker 1: always our fault. I'm not saying yeah, of course, it's
Speaker 1: not always or even sometimes our fault at all. But
Speaker 1: sometimes something happens, whether it's external, sometimes it's internal that
Speaker 1: messes us up. And all of a sudden, we're walking
Speaker 1: around with this bitch ass attitude. And when I say that,
Speaker 1: like I know, people like, hey, that's not the one,
Speaker 1: that's not her, that's not her. Talk about her, we
Speaker 1: love her. We talk about with the hefty bee ooh
Speaker 1: it talking about about that nasty attitude and that confrontational
Speaker 1: spirit that just want to you know, bark huh, you
Speaker 1: see it, you see it? You want to bark anything
Speaker 1: and anybody stank when you be in your joy and
Speaker 1: it triggered you and you be like what.
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Like that you have to check yourself because you don't
Speaker 1: be used to it. You be moving through the work,
Speaker 1: You're like, wait a minute, hold up, did she.
Speaker 2: Steal my energy?
Speaker 3: And my joy, bitch down.
Speaker 1: It's a talent. That's a talent that's not the loving hat. No,
Speaker 1: it's not that. It's that it's that other energy. And
Speaker 1: you know, some people definitely act like it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: I don't know how that works because they out here.
Speaker 1: I've had my moments. Anybody else have the moments where
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I'm being a whole bitch right now. Yes,
Speaker 1: I definitely have those moments. But guess what I do?
Speaker 1: I shut down? Well, see, I've had a moment where
Speaker 1: I can I get outside of myself and I can
Speaker 1: actually see and I'm like, oh wow. And you know
Speaker 1: how you emotionally have a moment where you outside yourself
Speaker 1: and you actually see yourself being wild and you can't
Speaker 1: stop it, and you be like, oh wow, I'm I'm wilding,
Speaker 1: Like you see yourself going down the road and you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm wild I can't myself you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You know how that that lyric and time after time
Speaker 1: she says, I see you when you're walking too far ahead.
Speaker 1: It's like you can see your own self walking way
Speaker 1: too far ahead, and you're just like I can't stop her.
Speaker 1: She's gone you're just gonna.
Speaker 5: Have to do the apology tour. That's what I do.
Speaker 5: I'll come back the apology ter er. I'll be like i'd
Speaker 5: have done that a couple of times, like I'm did
Speaker 5: I because you know I didn't mean?
Speaker 3: And then I'm sorry, I don't. I don't know where
Speaker 3: that came from.
Speaker 1: This is this is the good part about growing up,
Speaker 1: you know, as the only child. Oh, because this is
Speaker 1: where I separate myself. I'm like, Okay, nobody needs this,
Speaker 1: then nobody needs this. If I can just shut down,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, if I can put these
Speaker 1: headphones on or this is these earbuds, if I can,
Speaker 1: you know, I isolate myself because I can't make any promises.
Speaker 1: Today is not the day. I'm not having a good one.
Speaker 1: And nobody wants to hear, you know, especially a stranger
Speaker 1: or somebody driving next to you. They don't want to
Speaker 1: hear what happened. They don't want to hear what happened.
Speaker 1: They all they know is that right now this bitch
Speaker 1: is wilding or being I haven't been alone in twenty
Speaker 1: five years.
Speaker 2: Agent don't be believing, Jill, what you mean. That ain't true.
Speaker 3: That ain't true. What but I'm like what you just said, Okay,
Speaker 3: the only child, the only child.
Speaker 5: Wow, it is admirable somehow that bitch will seep out
Speaker 5: in places around people that you just you can't help it.
Speaker 3: And this is Jill.
Speaker 5: So what she's trying to say to me and you
Speaker 5: aga is is that ain't nobody ever really seeing her?
Speaker 2: Bitch nigat all?
Speaker 5: You said this only child go inside, put her headphones on.
Speaker 5: You know, she tried to go and because she don't
Speaker 5: want nobody to see this, because you know I don't.
Speaker 1: It's not so much I don't want you to see it.
Speaker 1: I don't just want you to experience Oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because okay, I don't.
Speaker 1: Want you to experience it because I know it's primarily
Speaker 1: it's my inner shit. I don't have anything to do
Speaker 1: with you. I might have just got my cycle today.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying today, And that's not it's
Speaker 1: not an excuse, it's a real it's factual. I'm hurting.
Speaker 1: My downwards are hurting.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: I'm hot, I'm agitated, my my stuff, that stuff on
Speaker 1: me that's swollen for mysel I'm bloated, like I don't
Speaker 1: feel like being pleasant. I'm mad, I'm agitated. What I'm
Speaker 1: taking away from what you're saying is that it's like
Speaker 1: having an understanding of what's going on with you and
Speaker 1: then taking that space for yourself is like the number
Speaker 1: one issue around even controlling your own bitchiness. And then
Speaker 1: you know, and then it informs kind of the way
Speaker 1: that you receive someone else's But let's not talk about
Speaker 1: someone else's in this point. My point is that that
Speaker 1: self awareness bit is really good, and at this age,
Speaker 1: very easily we can switch from being it could be
Speaker 1: on the first day of your period and then before
Speaker 1: you know it, it's it's the start of the last days.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, the last days of the last days of
Speaker 1: said period.
Speaker 5: Because let's do and then you don't have that self
Speaker 5: awareness because that that that them last days sneak up
Speaker 5: on the.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be
Speaker 1: right back.
Speaker 5: It takes us to a certain point in our life
Speaker 5: to even understand how to navigate around the PMS.
Speaker 3: I don't know about y'all, but.
Speaker 5: I started playing things like now that we have apps,
Speaker 5: I'd be like, Okay, I'm not gonna make these decisions
Speaker 5: because I know I'm gonna be in PMS or I
Speaker 5: ain't gonna really tap too many passionate conversations with him
Speaker 5: because I know where I am right. But right when
Speaker 5: you get to that point and you start to understand it,
Speaker 5: you can, you know, maneuver around it. Forty five, I'm
Speaker 5: just telling I didn't turn forty five in January.
Speaker 2: Bitch.
Speaker 5: I ain't seen my periods as February child, I don't
Speaker 5: know what is going the fuck.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: When you don't know when your period is coming, you.
Speaker 5: Want to talk about the emotions and the confusions.
Speaker 1: About my whole life.
Speaker 3: Seriously, Jill, what's you're talking about?
Speaker 1: What you jonas? My period disappeared when I was about fourteen,
Speaker 1: We talked about it. We stay away until I was
Speaker 1: thirty three. Okay, occasionally like one too every now and then,
Speaker 1: but it just it just disappeared.
Speaker 5: But is it different now now? Is your quadunari right now?
Speaker 5: Es quaternarian?
Speaker 2: Yes? What that?
Speaker 3: What that looking like?
Speaker 1: I'm not experiencing some of the things that my peers.
Speaker 3: Are because you did it earlier, That's.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying. I feel most of my life that's crazy.
Speaker 1: That's what I think. Like my home, it's always been
Speaker 1: you know, Iffy, you know what's been really interesting, you know,
Speaker 1: would be really interesting as scientific scientific level, medical biological level,
Speaker 1: is that, like so Amber sent us some really awesome
Speaker 1: articles about paramento pause, and one of the main things
Speaker 1: they talked about is like the switching of the different hormones,
Speaker 1: Like you're kind of wired hormonially during a certain period
Speaker 1: of your time to be a giver to mother, whether
Speaker 1: you choose to mother or not, right that you're kind
Speaker 1: of wired that way hormonally to prepare for something like that,
Speaker 1: for this like optimum time to mother, which is interesting
Speaker 1: a story about that later. But and then as you
Speaker 1: go into perimenopause, you have a different kind of hormone
Speaker 1: and it's a specific hormone which they call the queen hormone.
Speaker 1: That's just like a nickname for it. Don't get me
Speaker 1: into what it's actually really called. And then you you
Speaker 1: kind of turn in word and start thinking more about yourself. Now,
Speaker 1: what I would love to see is that this time
Speaker 1: has passed already. But my curiosity, my geek curiosity, wonders,
Speaker 1: at the time that you weren't having your period, what
Speaker 1: type of hormones were you experience? Were you experiencing these
Speaker 1: highly giver mother hormones regardless of not having you know,
Speaker 1: having had the actual period happening, or were you always
Speaker 1: experiencing the queen hormone?
Speaker 5: Your bitch factor is that shit is crazy, your bitch
Speaker 5: factor everywhere de'll night if you I'm.
Speaker 3: Just I'm not saying, kurrent you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: But it started like if that's the case, what Asia
Speaker 5: is saying, like, yeah, your shit.
Speaker 4: Is all.
Speaker 1: Saying it could have been here. Here's the key if
Speaker 1: we are if we are correlating bitch behavior with queen behavior, see,
Speaker 1: let's get into it is bitch behavior actually just behavior
Speaker 1: that prioritizes the self, because that is what queen queen
Speaker 1: behavior is. Right he said, well according to this nickname
Speaker 1: of this hormone. Right, So, how many people can relate
Speaker 1: to the fact that, Okay, over forty you start maybe
Speaker 1: getting creative, taking like a war class, yeah, traveling more,
Speaker 1: getting less attentive to like the needs of your family,
Speaker 1: and starting to think more of yourself, which is not
Speaker 1: a negative thing.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 1: So our perception of bitch behavior because it can be
Speaker 1: very anti towards what society says women should be, which
Speaker 1: is nurturing at all times, right, and so that that
Speaker 1: bitch behavior could not necessarily be negative. It could just
Speaker 1: be that we are socialized and we are indoctrinated into
Speaker 1: believing that women should behave in this way that's kind
Speaker 1: and nurturing and welcoming all the time, and when we don't,
Speaker 1: it's it's you know, it's it's an affront. Y'all.
Speaker 2: Asia just broke it down.
Speaker 3: She just said, some man created the word bitch and
Speaker 3: told us what it was.
Speaker 2: Yes, she did. Did you hear that?
Speaker 3: I heard it?
Speaker 2: Did you say that I did?
Speaker 1: She said? It makes sense, It makes sense. And here
Speaker 1: we are judging one another, having these interactions in which
Speaker 1: we decide who we are as people based on what
Speaker 1: a standard of what. Ooh, I haven't said it. I
Speaker 1: haven't said it alone, weird girl. I can feel it
Speaker 1: coming up through my toes, up to my chest, through
Speaker 1: my throat and through my lips, through my throat. Oh,
Speaker 1: white supremacy. So what you're saying, I did this? You
Speaker 1: know this is partially biological? Yeah, that we have this
Speaker 1: hormone initially because we're fertile and young and we are
Speaker 1: our bodies know that it's time to you know, make
Speaker 1: babies that you that you have that nesting period where
Speaker 1: you settle down. Yeah, you know all of these things.
Speaker 1: And once you hit a certain age when you're going
Speaker 1: you know, when you hit forty five or so, you know,
Speaker 1: you've got a queen hormone which no longer focuses on
Speaker 1: family and having children, like you said, and you know,
Speaker 1: because your kids are primarily grown or older, so they
Speaker 1: don't need as much, you know, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So now, but you've got this yeah, I mean, I'm sorry, it.
Speaker 2: Isn't an a pause.
Speaker 3: That's that's us like losing estrogen, right, like our testosterone.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, y'all, isn't this kind.
Speaker 1: Of some testosterone and estrogen. We have a lot of
Speaker 1: boats in the first you know, earlier stages, right.
Speaker 5: And so it's interesting because I'm just thinking of it
Speaker 5: from a male perspective because I'm like, okay, so we
Speaker 5: start growing hair in places that men may grow hair,
Speaker 5: and this is just the cons I'm sure there's some
Speaker 5: beautiful queen pros, but I was just thinking about the
Speaker 5: likeliness to men.
Speaker 2: In that way.
Speaker 1: I wonder what happens to them.
Speaker 5: It's like, are we getting some of their traits as
Speaker 5: we begin to mmm, that's what it made me think
Speaker 5: of in a way, right, It's like, not only are
Speaker 5: things changing hair, places, mouth, chest, chin, this is happening.
Speaker 5: As that's happening, we're starting to care more about ourselves.
Speaker 5: You're saying like men, I'm I'm not saying.
Speaker 1: Oh man, but I'm just saying, like, I mean, this
Speaker 1: is an interesting conversation about biology versus social you know,
Speaker 1: you know, like what parts are part of our social
Speaker 1: understanding of ourselves and our behavior, and what is like
Speaker 1: really a biological you know thing, because really we're all women,
Speaker 1: and we all have a different experience. And Jill herself,
Speaker 1: who's a human being and identifies us as a woman,
Speaker 1: was born with with female genitalia, had a completely different
Speaker 1: experience in life as it pertains to those parts of
Speaker 1: her body. And who's to say also too, I'm sure
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not. I mean, I never I never said
Speaker 1: that out loud to a group of people, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, anybody that's listening. It's not like I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't get my period for years and years, you know.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't say that to anybody, So maybe I'm not
Speaker 1: the only person or of women who you know at
Speaker 1: some point they're cycle went away. I just thought it
Speaker 1: was interesting that that's what I prayed for and that's
Speaker 1: what I got.
Speaker 3: You manifested something and you received it.
Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I asked guy to take away my cycle because it
Speaker 1: was painful and I didn't like any parts of it,
Speaker 1: and then bring it back to me when he was
Speaker 1: ready for me to have a baby. Shit it girl.
Speaker 1: They went away and it came back when I was
Speaker 1: thirty three years old on the day. I'm just curious
Speaker 1: when we had the African ancestry, who in your lineage
Speaker 1: is the souths theyer is the medicine woman child. But
Speaker 1: I do think also too, I want to be careful
Speaker 1: because like so many types of women listen to this
Speaker 1: show and say that we're not we're not also saying
Speaker 1: that you cannot tap into a high level of nurturing
Speaker 1: at having children at in your forties because because of
Speaker 1: women have children in their forties. But I actually think
Speaker 1: when I in the fifties two, a lot of times
Speaker 1: when I see women who have children ate quote unquote
Speaker 1: late in life, life like another societal thing. But like
Speaker 1: who have children late in life, sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: they're more prepared to have kids. They have potentially more
Speaker 1: patience in my opinion sometimes, So I don't know if
Speaker 1: that I think, you know, I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: biologically we're talking about something that probably applies to a
Speaker 1: large portion of women. But how can we really know
Speaker 1: because women really we're not talking about this enough with
Speaker 1: the data.
Speaker 5: I will tell you this, it is an interesting mind
Speaker 5: fuck to have your fabors taken out one year and
Speaker 5: then the next year and not get your period no more,
Speaker 5: mentally die you know, you try, especially as a person
Speaker 5: who receives God and all their messages and.
Speaker 3: Is trying to follow the path that is set. So
Speaker 3: you just gotta know that you believe God is doing
Speaker 3: all the right things for you.
Speaker 5: So in that way of a forty something woman, I
Speaker 5: do wonder if women are like me at this age
Speaker 5: and that, who are considering kids.
Speaker 3: Hey, I still am in the.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm like wherever God leads me.
Speaker 5: But it's a mind fuck if you're going through this
Speaker 5: and you are consciously trying to make babies, like imagine like,
Speaker 5: but then also it's also a mind fuck because it's easier,
Speaker 5: they say, sometimes it's easier to get pregnant because you
Speaker 5: don't know when that that fucking period coming. So they
Speaker 5: a lot of there are a lot of menopause babies.
Speaker 1: Oh tons of them.
Speaker 2: What are they calling them?
Speaker 1: Uh A changed baby, change baby, we got unicorn, change rainbow.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just changing.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I know you haven't seen Jurassic Park, but like life
Speaker 1: finds a way, life gonna find a way. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I think, you know, just
Speaker 1: having that kind of sense of you know, perspective active
Speaker 1: on when we're dealing with one another or even like
Speaker 1: I said, really mostly when we're dealing with ourselves, they
Speaker 1: understanding of ourselves. And I do think this, like there's
Speaker 1: a lot of negativity around perimenopause and a lot of
Speaker 1: feelings of like what you're going to lose and what
Speaker 1: type of like intense things are going to happen to you,
Speaker 1: but having this perspective about it being like a renewal
Speaker 1: because in one of the articles it was talking about
Speaker 1: how like even some of the symptoms are really indicative
Speaker 1: of the high stress levels that certain women have particularly
Speaker 1: in like American society, because in Japan they didn't even
Speaker 1: until recently have a word for high flash. Their word
Speaker 1: for menopause is like a word meaning like renewal or rebirth,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And that and that hormonally
Speaker 1: because of the changes, you can get huge sparks of
Speaker 1: creativity and like really kind of fine and redefine a
Speaker 1: new portion of your life. And so I think I
Speaker 1: think that that immediate kind of you know, the reputation
Speaker 1: that is more indicative of the highly you know, structural
Speaker 1: issues that happen in this country that are just freaking stressful,
Speaker 1: and as our bodies and minds are pushing back on that.
Speaker 1: So some of the bitch behavior is, you know, a
Speaker 1: form of resistance in a lot of ways. It's like
Speaker 1: I should be enjoying the benefits of this time and
Speaker 1: not having to push back on a society that continually
Speaker 1: want that wants to drain me, shame me. Fel like
Speaker 1: I had enough.
Speaker 5: I definitely go back and forth, But I also understand,
Speaker 5: you know, I feel like being parry. Menopause is going
Speaker 5: to be the new period in the sense that even
Speaker 5: the way we started our new season and talking about
Speaker 5: like we're talking about our Cusi's on.
Speaker 2: TV right lately, finally, finally, So lately I'm.
Speaker 5: Having a lot of conversations because I had to find
Speaker 5: I had to find my extra bind and I had
Speaker 5: to find my yam. So I have been sweating a lot,
Speaker 5: you know, just in public and the interaction with people
Speaker 5: when they writteness your sweat is something.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: First of all, I would like to shout out my
Speaker 5: mother because this is clearly a payback. I didn't know
Speaker 5: she was going through perry menopause in my age, and
Speaker 5: I would always ask for if the she needa towel,
Speaker 5: and Mommy your sweating.
Speaker 2: I always let her know like she ain't. No.
Speaker 5: Now I understand that was wrong. I also understand that
Speaker 5: it's a lot of us going through these things. And
Speaker 5: I just think, like, I don't know, y'all we got
Speaker 5: commercials for these things. Now we got I don't if
Speaker 5: y'all seen the new commercial for parent even pari menopause
Speaker 5: is a commercial for some drug, and I say you
Speaker 5: should take it. But it all starts the conversation and
Speaker 5: talking to the younger generation, and so this all.
Speaker 2: Gets better, all gets better, honest.
Speaker 5: And I sell every now when I talk to women,
Speaker 5: I'm really sitting here like thinking, okay, so how old
Speaker 5: is she is? She's being a bitch. I'm trying to
Speaker 5: be conscious of all the things. Like it's just a
Speaker 5: it's a process that I think we getting there.
Speaker 1: Gets like this though. First of all, I didn't even
Speaker 1: know perry menopause was a thing until a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago. Okay, forgive my ignorance, but I never heard
Speaker 1: the word before.
Speaker 2: I was like, our mothers didn't have a name for it.
Speaker 1: Popped up in the script and I was like, what
Speaker 1: is that? That's one and the number two. You know,
Speaker 1: so we're all learning about this thing that is inevitable.
Speaker 1: You know, it's inevitable. So there's a there's another portion
Speaker 1: to this, like there's always a reason, you know, there's
Speaker 1: always a reason for a thing. Nothing just really happens
Speaker 1: because it happens, you know, the rainfalls, the seed is
Speaker 1: is nourished and fertilized in the soil, the sun hits it,
Speaker 1: eventually it's going to start to grow. Right, This is
Speaker 1: kind of how life works. One thing begets another. How
Speaker 1: is it that we you know, the explanations for everything
Speaker 1: kind of gets it kind of gets I get weary,
Speaker 1: get weary. There's always a reason for a thing, you know,
Speaker 1: I get that part, But it makes you feel tired.
Speaker 1: Don't nobody cares about Like I said, they don't really
Speaker 1: care about your reasoning. You just do you think that
Speaker 1: the reasoning? Do you think the reasoning maybe makes you
Speaker 1: feel to hell the space like you haven't been able
Speaker 1: to hold a space for how it makes you feel,
Speaker 1: Because I think sometimes what I hear when people say
Speaker 1: I'm tired of the excuses, I'm tired of the reasons
Speaker 1: for everything. How I think that, how I process that
Speaker 1: is I just need to feel my feelings without knowing
Speaker 1: any other things first, you know, because I'm a perspective
Speaker 1: like a junkie, you know, And so in listening to you,
Speaker 1: like partially what that kind of feels like listening to
Speaker 1: you is like I just want to feel my stuff,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like if you did something
Speaker 1: and I witnessed you in a space and that triggered me,
Speaker 1: or that made me feel some type of way, like
Speaker 1: I don't have time for the why it made me
Speaker 1: feel like this period.
Speaker 5: That's because that's the easier thing to do, though sometimes too,
Speaker 5: I don't know in my mind, and you know, not
Speaker 5: just you, Jill. I think sometimes people do think that
Speaker 5: way too, because it takes a it takes extra thought to.
Speaker 3: Actually to actually overthink things like that.
Speaker 5: Like it takes thought to be like and sometimes you
Speaker 5: just want to go. Sometimes you just want to like
Speaker 5: you said, I guess you just want to have emotions.
Speaker 5: But you also you got to consider that we have
Speaker 5: words and stuff or things that we haven't had before,
Speaker 5: and we have we do have explanations for things that we.
Speaker 2: Couldn't explain before.
Speaker 5: So I don't know, I feel like there's a gray
Speaker 5: in there. I know it's a weird balance, but I'm
Speaker 5: in the gray all the time.
Speaker 1: It's a both. It's just a both to me, like
Speaker 1: you know, not to be a typical Libra in this moment,
Speaker 1: but I think it's I think it's a both. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, yes, hold space for your feelings,
Speaker 1: like take a minute. Yeah, and if you don't like
Speaker 1: some shit, don't don't like it, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: And you don't have to engage in the perspective of
Speaker 1: it at that moment, you know what. I at that moment,
Speaker 1: maybe I too need a little bit of time to
Speaker 1: deal with whatever it is that you're projecting on to
Speaker 1: me or whatever. Maybe I need a moment to figure
Speaker 1: that out. But these are This is what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about specifically, is that there are moments when, let's just say,
Speaker 1: as a as a parent, or someone who is even
Speaker 1: babysitting a child. Okay, you've had a hell of a day.
Speaker 1: Your your ankle hurts, I don't know, you've you've been sneezing.
Speaker 1: I don't know all the reasons are, but you have
Speaker 1: to find it in yourself to have patience with this
Speaker 1: child until you can put that child to bed. The
Speaker 1: goal is to feed the kid, watch the kid, read
Speaker 1: the story, knock that kid out, so go to sleep,
Speaker 1: and then you can deal with it. You can deal
Speaker 1: with the things that are are oppressing you at the
Speaker 1: moment or on your spirit.
Speaker 2: That's a kid, that's a kid.
Speaker 1: What's the difficult Everybody, Like I said, it's a both, friend,
Speaker 1: it's a both. What's the difference? Because we end up
Speaker 1: having to deal with stuff all the time, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, I mean eventually it's a circle back,
Speaker 1: no matter what it's like. Saying that as a president
Speaker 1: of the United States, or or whatever country. I've heard
Speaker 1: this over and over over the years. You know, people
Speaker 1: with that shit. Or I wouldn't want a woman president
Speaker 1: because she's got to deal with her period. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. We deal with a lot of things, okay,
Speaker 1: And you can't tell me that a woman cannot be
Speaker 1: rational or cannot think the bigger picture in the middle
Speaker 1: of all the stuff, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: That's an interesting argument, Jill Man, Okay, are you Are.
Speaker 1: We really saying that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: So if I'm having a hard conversation with me and
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of a bitch episode that I
Speaker 1: don't have to be responsible enough to know that I
Speaker 1: need to walk the fuck away. I need to walk
Speaker 1: away because I'm gonna say something or I'm gonna do something.
Speaker 1: But if you don't have language, if you don't have
Speaker 1: language for that, then you can't create systems to support it.
Speaker 1: So it's like, eventually the conversation about what's really happening
Speaker 1: to you got to happen. Absolutely more conversation after the break.
Speaker 5: If you don't have language, are you excused because you
Speaker 5: don't have the language and you're just reacting?
Speaker 2: But everybody knows this is what's going on with.
Speaker 1: You, or they know something is going on with you. Well,
Speaker 1: I feel like this. Everybody will use who you are
Speaker 1: and what your experiences are to create a box for
Speaker 1: you to be in because they need to be able
Speaker 1: to predict your behavior, tell you what you can and
Speaker 1: cannot have. That's just a habit of a capitalist society.
Speaker 1: They just trying to do that. But it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be that way. If you create a culture around
Speaker 1: conversation and around understanding, then it doesn't say that. Okay
Speaker 1: that and also too again, let me just put this
Speaker 1: out here. If we have even the idea of having
Speaker 1: a president and not having or not having a situation
Speaker 1: where there's a joint decisions to be made and that
Speaker 1: it's not a decision of a single person, is problematic, right,
Speaker 1: because even if you're a man, that's a problem because
Speaker 1: even men can have emotional breakdowns, mental illness, depression, any
Speaker 1: number of different things that might be bowel syndrome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everything that they could you know, X.
Speaker 3: Y and Z.
Speaker 5: Hopefully that's why we got checks and balances, you know,
Speaker 5: juditial legislative, right, but checks.
Speaker 1: And balances in the world, it's a checks and balances issue.
Speaker 1: You can't have those checks and balances if you're not
Speaker 1: willing to have conversations and create language around it now
Speaker 1: in the process of that. Yes, if somebody's being a
Speaker 1: bitch to me and I want to cuss this bitch
Speaker 1: out because of the way she's treating me and because
Speaker 1: I'm triggered by her behavior, then okay, I have my moment.
Speaker 1: She had her moment. We had our moment. It's the
Speaker 1: circle back that counts, whether it's the sun the two
Speaker 1: of us, whether it's a circle back between the two
Speaker 1: of us, or a circle back within our personal conversation
Speaker 1: with ourselves in which we all take accountability. And now
Speaker 1: we say, hey, you know what, let me check this
Speaker 1: calendar right quick, let me let me think about right,
Speaker 1: let me think about let me give myself the proper
Speaker 1: perspective around where I am. You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And so that's kind of what I was getting from Jill,
Speaker 1: is that let's hold space for both. Let's hold space
Speaker 1: for the fact that reacting to raggedy behavior is a
Speaker 1: natural thing to which we sometimes need to allow ourselves
Speaker 1: the ability to do, particularly black women, because we are
Speaker 1: constantly talking ourselves down from our actual.
Speaker 5: Feeling I'm about to say, I might have talked myself
Speaker 5: down to the point where I don't think I'm allowed to.
Speaker 5: But I hear you.
Speaker 2: I'm working when.
Speaker 1: We talk about this and the rage again in the
Speaker 1: Race the Machine episode where it was like being able
Speaker 1: to tap into the realness of how you are responding
Speaker 1: to some stuff in the world. Right, So I don't
Speaker 1: even think it's really like I said, it's not an ore,
Speaker 1: it's not a choose this or this again. I'll bring
Speaker 1: this back up. It's that binary thinking constantly. It gotta
Speaker 1: be one thing on the other. No, I was in
Speaker 1: the gray, in the gray, and I wouldn't even say gray.
Speaker 1: See gray indicates unsureness, okay, gray indicates that, oh this
Speaker 1: is this is clouded. It is not clear. No, this
Speaker 1: is clear. To think in a circle is clarity. To
Speaker 1: think in a binary or in a linear is not.
Speaker 3: But it's also it's clear to a point.
Speaker 5: Because Jill brought up a good point, like I'm sure,
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm sure there's a low order episode to
Speaker 5: back me on this.
Speaker 2: There has been an episode come.
Speaker 1: On Where Love where the.
Speaker 5: Defense wanted to use free minstrel syndrome as a reason
Speaker 5: because physically things happen, and literally, as y'all talking, I'm
Speaker 5: reading through this package that my doctor gave me after
Speaker 5: my visit on all the things I can do about
Speaker 5: my my my menopause, and these these things cover antidepressants
Speaker 5: are in here, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Like there are some real I mean mind and they
Speaker 3: come to my doctor.
Speaker 5: She gave me herbal treatments as well, but mind body
Speaker 5: other treatments. Vaginal dryness that can piss me off too,
Speaker 5: and that's not even faginal.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: Anyway, we had a conversation about bagial dryness. Y'all please
Speaker 5: use that muscle or else it will dry. That's a
Speaker 5: side note.
Speaker 3: But my point is is that if a woman does
Speaker 3: not have a hold on what is going on.
Speaker 5: With her at all, like if all the stuff is
Speaker 5: happening and she doesn't have medical coverage or going to
Speaker 5: a dot, or she doesn't have anybody or her mother
Speaker 5: to ask her, what's.
Speaker 2: Your minstrel story?
Speaker 5: Like you don't even know that this is the time
Speaker 5: that your mother with this, because y'all, that's real. My
Speaker 5: doctor did say, ask your mama. That could lead to
Speaker 5: a little bit of unsettling things. I could see someone
Speaker 5: reacting from these things. Yeah, so that's why I say,
Speaker 5: and so I'm so that's why I say there's some
Speaker 5: gray because if you don't have this knowledge.
Speaker 3: Are severely you know, impacted.
Speaker 2: What you do.
Speaker 1: So so what we're saying here, well what I think
Speaker 1: we're saying, I'll say what I'm saying. How about that.
Speaker 3: Damie took their hair off fast, amazing black woman, that
Speaker 3: was magical?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 3: Is that.
Speaker 1: That we have to care about being a woman. They're
Speaker 1: apps for this. There's sights, there's conversations that are being
Speaker 1: had that if you you know, we're loud, we're proud,
Speaker 1: we're women. All of these things are happening to our
Speaker 1: bodies or naturally, And if we care about the people
Speaker 1: that are around us and the and and how we
Speaker 1: present ourselves and not not as a robot you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not talking about pretending to be anything.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about being all of yourself and all of
Speaker 1: ourselves in order to get it, then we actually have
Speaker 1: what again, some work to do. Yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: that's a small nuance there too, that we should that
Speaker 1: we should mention that as long as this kind of
Speaker 1: information is like she said, is not used to oppress
Speaker 1: us or to further subjugate us or further put us
Speaker 1: in certain boxes. Then in that but that that information
Speaker 1: is used to create larger structural changes around structural changes
Speaker 1: and like societal changes around the culture changes, around the
Speaker 1: way we look at women and their bodies and their
Speaker 1: evolution and their biology and all this other kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Because needless to say that if you are a trans man,
Speaker 1: you have all these same things going on inside your biologically,
Speaker 1: and so you might also experience this as well. And
Speaker 1: you know, depending on what your experience is, you will also.
Speaker 3: Therapy they go through.
Speaker 2: That's interesting.
Speaker 1: And what if you don't take any of the hormones? Right,
Speaker 1: what if you're a trans you just present that way.
Speaker 1: But my point is, my plan is at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, I mean, that's a whole other conversation
Speaker 1: that's outside of our personal wheelhouse, definitely, But I just
Speaker 1: wanted to just to put it out there in terms
Speaker 1: of like the bigger question for I mean, the little
Speaker 1: nuance in there is that yes, we should talk about it,
Speaker 1: yes we should have language about it. But the minute
Speaker 1: that people start trying to flip the damn script, okay
Speaker 1: and use that as an opportunity to do us foul.
Speaker 1: We gotta be able to check that it's no different
Speaker 1: than if we talk about things culturally with being black
Speaker 1: or being whatever. Yes, these things might be true, but
Speaker 1: when people try to shift and switch the narrative, it's
Speaker 1: our job to pull the coattails on it. But I
Speaker 1: think ultimately we can only benefit from more conversation. Then
Speaker 1: we cannot benefit from more conversation.
Speaker 5: Asia, you could not be more true, because I'm gonna
Speaker 5: tell y'all some of the best moments, and it's hard
Speaker 5: to say best moments impairmental and in the same sentence,
Speaker 5: but some of the best moments I've had in this
Speaker 5: perimenopause journey is when another woman, sister or not like
Speaker 5: comes to my aid, and not in the sense of
Speaker 5: let me do something for you, but even in the
Speaker 5: sense of, bro, I know what you're going through, Like
Speaker 5: even that little thing right there, it just makes you
Speaker 5: feel like, Okay, so I don't look crazy out in
Speaker 5: these streets, you know.
Speaker 3: Or it's somebody I'm somebody got a.
Speaker 5: Fan because now I travel with fans now, but if
Speaker 5: somebody else got a fan, they fan in me. Or
Speaker 5: I see somebody else weating, and I'm just like, girl,
Speaker 5: take some of this, you know, like it's just the
Speaker 5: little things. And then we start a conversation of yeah,
Speaker 5: girl IV and I'm working on these jams.
Speaker 2: But we you in, you know, just like let's just
Speaker 2: let's talk, y'all.
Speaker 1: Let's just if you well, that's a good thing. What
Speaker 1: are you doing? Because that's a good thing in terms
Speaker 1: of like just I know that people listening to this
Speaker 1: probably do have their own stories, like and so you know,
Speaker 1: we got us a little wanting hunt and number you
Speaker 1: know what that is. We know, like what y'all are
Speaker 1: doing to cope? My sister, what are we doing? What
Speaker 1: should we do with the herbs we should be taking?
Speaker 3: Yes? Is it the black cohash or the blue cohash?
Speaker 2: Because they confused me.
Speaker 1: Is it's always gonna be something, It's always gonna be
Speaker 1: we all, she said, it's always it's always ogonda.
Speaker 3: But the yams, I'm just gonna tell y'all funny is
Speaker 3: funny real quick?
Speaker 2: Sex and the City was that the movie?
Speaker 3: Part one?
Speaker 5: Sex and the City won the movie? I don't know, y'all,
Speaker 5: remember Sam and girl that ain't nothing but the truth.
Speaker 5: When she was like the yam the yams. They work, y'all,
Speaker 5: and they come in a pill form. I have organic
Speaker 5: jams that I got, So I'm just saying between that
Speaker 5: in the extra vent my sheets.
Speaker 2: Are so much drier, honey sweet, Because he don't know
Speaker 2: that that needs to be a remix. I'm so serious
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: He has a remix already.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we need there's a special come on jail,
Speaker 2: come through you don't want to.
Speaker 1: And I get a night Sweats remix. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm experiencing that quite yet.
Speaker 2: You ain't going to You were so exceptional girl, I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I bet.
Speaker 2: Exceptional tribes.
Speaker 1: I bet you. Hey, listen, if you had your cycle
Speaker 1: go away for years, drop drop a little message and
Speaker 1: let me know, please, because I've been feeling alone out here,
Speaker 1: like what kind of thingy thing am I?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: I would love to know you. I just want to
Speaker 1: get back to the bitches real quick, too, okay, because
Speaker 1: what I'm getting at is that we're giving a lot
Speaker 1: of reasons.
Speaker 2: You ain't got time for your excuses? What what what?
Speaker 1: What you want from the what I want? What I
Speaker 1: want for us? And I'm definitely including myself because come on, y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm a people. I'm a people, and what I'm looking
Speaker 1: for is some accountability. Okay, that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know what, one time, I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: a name because because just because I met Terry Vaughan.
Speaker 2: Who is lovely right, yes, lovely yes.
Speaker 1: I met her at a thing and I was absolutely
Speaker 1: in the middle of a lot, and I didn't really
Speaker 1: want to be there, but I also wanted to be there,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You've had those moments. And
Speaker 1: I went to this thing and I just did not
Speaker 1: have it in me to talk to anybody about anything.
Speaker 1: And when she started to talk to me, I said,
Speaker 1: I cannot talk to you right now. I would by myself.
Speaker 1: I was by myself, and I saw her, I saw
Speaker 1: her coming from across the room. I was like, she's
Speaker 1: gonna talk talk to me. I knew that and I
Speaker 1: and all I could say was I cannot talk to
Speaker 1: you right now, okay, you know. And I felt terrible
Speaker 1: about it because you know, in this story, you were
Speaker 1: the bitch, and this story, I think I would think
Speaker 1: that I was absolutely What accountability do you think you
Speaker 1: owed her in that moment? Is it happening now. And
Speaker 1: I didn't think I got old her anything. But I
Speaker 1: saw her years later mm hmm, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I remember that day that we met,
Speaker 1: and honestly, I just was having one. I was having
Speaker 1: one and I just couldn't. I couldn't, I could not engage.
Speaker 1: And she was like, girl, everybody go ahead. Oh I
Speaker 1: can see her saying that. So let me flip the
Speaker 1: script on you. What if she said to you, I
Speaker 1: don't really want to hear about your excuses. That was
Speaker 1: fucked up what you did, I would have to say, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: like everybody ain't for everybody that's number one, school or
Speaker 1: friends or and I know that, you know, first impressions
Speaker 1: are lasting, but sometimes it's not the day. Sometimes that's
Speaker 1: not the person. Sometimes you're not the person.
Speaker 3: And it is what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what we're saying. It's pretty cut and dry.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just not. But that's that's the thing. That's
Speaker 1: the overall thing here is that if that was something
Speaker 1: that we all kind and she for her, it was
Speaker 1: a basic understanding. She had that understanding already, whether you
Speaker 1: knew she did or not, she had that understanding of that. Oh,
Speaker 1: everybody has those days, you know what I'm saying, And
Speaker 1: I just you know, I think at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, for me, I just want us to kind
Speaker 1: of move through the world like that, not saying that
Speaker 1: it's okay to be X, Y and Z, but that
Speaker 1: there's a thing where we understand that this is a
Speaker 1: thing that happens whether we like it or not, it's
Speaker 1: going to happen. You're going to roll up on a
Speaker 1: woman of any age, but particularly of a certain age,
Speaker 1: and you might get, Yeah, what you get, Damn.
Speaker 3: That's that same thing happened to me with India. That
Speaker 3: is so crazy, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: What you get, whatever it is that you get at
Speaker 1: that time, doesn't necessarily define the person forever. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: And it's something you on the other side.
Speaker 2: Shout out to the NDII Raca.
Speaker 5: She me and her had that same conversation once because
Speaker 5: I had I had a similar cinemon to running with her,
Speaker 5: and I just shout off the sisters for the circle back,
Speaker 5: because sometimes it takes a lot to actually approach the
Speaker 5: person who you felt like approached you wrong, and it
Speaker 5: takes a lot to approach you know to respond to
Speaker 5: when you know you was wrong, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So I just everybody don't get the circle back.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you right now, that's true. Everybody don't
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 3: And some folks should be like, we'd be all right.
Speaker 1: I know I was wrong, but I ain't. I was
Speaker 1: at a casino somewhere. I don't remember what I was exactly,
Speaker 1: but we were rushing. Everything had gone wrong. I was
Speaker 1: missing some back line, you know.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It was stuff. It was a bunch of stuff. And
Speaker 1: I think I may have been in the middle of
Speaker 1: a divorce. I'm not sure, but it was a bunch
Speaker 1: of jam, you know what I'm saying, as life will
Speaker 1: hand you sometimes. And I remember going through this, this
Speaker 1: through the casino, I'm not expecting to see anybody, and
Speaker 1: we're all moving fast that time, and we're moving really fast,
Speaker 1: and this woman comes up with her daughter and they
Speaker 1: were so sweet and they had so many feelings. But
Speaker 1: I did not have time. I didn't and I did
Speaker 1: not have the right energy to be engaging with a
Speaker 1: child either. I didn't. And this is a sweet, seet
Speaker 1: little little thing, and I hate that moment, like if
Speaker 1: I could go back to a moment. I hate that
Speaker 1: moment because I know that they will come in like
Speaker 1: it genuinely, you know, to say something positive or you know,
Speaker 1: to give a hug or something. And I wish that
Speaker 1: I could have been a little more mature in that moment.
Speaker 1: I wish I could you have an extra element of
Speaker 1: things you have to deal with. Okay, so let's you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yes, all the things we're saying
Speaker 1: apply to all of us, but for women who are public, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, jail, jail, jail, jail. Seriously, that's a
Speaker 1: little bit extra responsibility and it's rough. Yes, right, that's
Speaker 1: that's a rough one for you because then you have
Speaker 1: to navigate other people's feelings in a different way, and
Speaker 1: it's more likely to happen at a time when you
Speaker 1: really can't and the people who you're involved with you're
Speaker 1: likely not to see again.
Speaker 2: And impression.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot, that's a lot to that's a
Speaker 1: lot to carry. I will say to you as a friend,
Speaker 1: just you know, and not that you haven't released it,
Speaker 1: but that's a part of your life that's unique to
Speaker 1: your life, and you're going to have to let that
Speaker 1: one go because at the end of the day, it's like,
Speaker 1: I don't even remember.
Speaker 3: Where I was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you remember that feeling. Understand that that's going to
Speaker 1: happen in your job. That's like, you know sometimes, but
Speaker 1: you just made an excuse.
Speaker 2: For being a bitch.
Speaker 5: Though you sure did. You didn't make it's a it's
Speaker 5: a reason. I just there can be a reason. No, no,
Speaker 5: it could be a reason though not an excuse.
Speaker 2: There can't be a reason.
Speaker 3: No, I'm sorry I used us.
Speaker 5: I used the wrong word. I should have said if
Speaker 5: there is a reason, and you know you had a reason,
Speaker 5: and sometimes other bitches have so maybe sometimes you could
Speaker 5: just you know, agent, can you finish this sentence in
Speaker 5: that real literate.
Speaker 1: Way you do it? Go ahead, girl, stop? No, you did.
Speaker 3: You did the thing?
Speaker 1: You bought it for circle, because that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1: I was like, but him, this is what we've been
Speaker 1: saying from the beginning. It's like, yeah, the reason and
Speaker 1: a lot of these reasons are the ways that we
Speaker 1: cannot take things personally.
Speaker 5: And the person that you that person that you projected
Speaker 5: that to, has no idea of your reasons. They just
Speaker 5: know your Jill Scott, you your joy and love, they
Speaker 5: love you, and this is the one in a lifetime
Speaker 5: experience walk around on rose petals.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go clean the toilets. This really was
Speaker 1: a clear I'm a normal person and I have a
Speaker 1: job that's highly stressful, and I still have to engage
Speaker 1: with you, you know. And and it's very similar, even
Speaker 1: though these people are not quote unquote public people. But
Speaker 1: it's the same thing as being in a service job
Speaker 1: when all you do all day is interact with other people,
Speaker 1: and your job can be so like janky on the
Speaker 1: background of it, but you still have to go, hello, hey,
Speaker 1: how man, I help you? How are you doing? How
Speaker 1: could I be a sir? See you today? Right in
Speaker 1: a minute? That you know, and in the back they
Speaker 1: could be paying you thirteen cents an hour, but.
Speaker 5: You still need me to smile so you can be
Speaker 5: so you can feel good about buying this product right
Speaker 5: right right.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you for women who are out there,
Speaker 1: and I never forget this. During the pandemic, with the
Speaker 1: early part of the pandemic, y'all remember that picture that
Speaker 1: went viral of that woman who was working at Popeyes
Speaker 1: and she was sitting outside on the bench and she
Speaker 1: was looking exhausted, and it was just like this. It
Speaker 1: started circulating kind of as a joke about people being
Speaker 1: Oh no, it wasn't the pandemic. It was when people
Speaker 1: was in line for that chicken. Yes, and shit was exhausted, right,
Speaker 1: and people like laughed about it. But can you imagine,
Speaker 1: like I said, the circumstances to which our fast food
Speaker 1: we were.
Speaker 2: Stealing them sandwiches.
Speaker 3: People was doing everything.
Speaker 5: You imagine the pressure, Oh you imagine being forty two oh.
Speaker 1: At Popeys during the height.
Speaker 2: Smile at the window chicken gate.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's like the perfect metaphor, at the at the
Speaker 1: height of the chicken gate. What nothing like that trying
Speaker 1: to be pleasant or wanting to and just can't girl,
Speaker 1: just just can't like because they started at nine this morning.
Speaker 1: As soon as we stopped making.
Speaker 3: It an open look in a lot, it's a lot of.
Speaker 1: And y'all nasty. Ain't mad at me when we run out,
Speaker 1: like I ordered the chicken.
Speaker 3: Come on, I think she got a reason, she got
Speaker 3: a reason.
Speaker 1: Just un lets I talk about who primarily holds some
Speaker 1: of these service jobs. Hello, and who they are, what
Speaker 1: they look like, what's their color, and what's their gender?
Speaker 1: It is with it there you're gonna come.
Speaker 3: In there fighting people because your sauce ain't right.
Speaker 4: Girl.
Speaker 1: It's a lot, it's a lot more conversation through the break.
Speaker 1: So in terms of we had a discussion about our
Speaker 1: discussion has been about kind of identifying, giving language to
Speaker 1: our experiences and you know, humanizing our bitch behavior to
Speaker 1: a degree, not excusing it, but humanizing it. Thank you.
Speaker 1: But in order to kind of move forward and create
Speaker 1: this culture of understanding, we also have to take some
Speaker 1: accountability to making ourselves feel better and doing the things
Speaker 1: that we can do that not only make us feel
Speaker 1: better but also improve our interactions with one another. So
Speaker 1: that being in the spirit of such right, I'm going
Speaker 1: to go back to this little list, which I'm not
Speaker 1: going to take credit for. Amen, we give this credit
Speaker 1: to Amber Amber who says, and it all comes back
Speaker 1: to rest a couple of things. Doctors can help you
Speaker 1: navigate your hormonal imbalances. So please talk to your doctor.
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid, you know, open up or if you
Speaker 1: see a like a homeo not homeopathic, what is it
Speaker 1: called a natural? That's not a doctor doctor, right, go
Speaker 1: to talk to your person. Write whoever your healthcare specialists.
Speaker 1: Is talk to them. Eat more foods that are high
Speaker 1: in photo estrogens like flat seedy and to food and uh,
Speaker 1: these can be consumed through natural food sources or supplement.
Speaker 1: So you can do this in a supplement. So you
Speaker 1: take your a pill if you're a pill person, if
Speaker 1: you like to eat it, you know on something you
Speaker 1: can do that. You got the black cohash, which I
Speaker 1: don't even know nothing about it. I have to look
Speaker 1: into that. Fore, you got macha, which I think that's
Speaker 1: how you how you pronounce it, but it's.
Speaker 2: Spelled m a c a machel root.
Speaker 1: Something called vitext is that it? And of course I
Speaker 1: favorite the Oshua goss. That's what I'm gonn name my daughter.
Speaker 3: Sounds like I like it.
Speaker 1: I like, but you gotta say it like that, can
Speaker 1: I guess? And last, but not least, we got the
Speaker 1: red clover. A review of studies found that red clover
Speaker 1: isoflavone okay supplements may help reduce the daily frequency of
Speaker 1: hot flashes from a baseline of three per day. Now
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my little last one on here. Remember
Speaker 1: that the hot flashes and some of these symptoms are
Speaker 1: unique to the United States of America. Because of our
Speaker 1: culture of creativity and our culture of stress, depression and
Speaker 1: everything else. I can imagine that if we are intentional
Speaker 1: about changing the way we move through the world and
Speaker 1: not allowing those stresses to lead our lives, that we
Speaker 1: might see some improvement in these kinds of things as well.
Speaker 1: I want to refer back to one of our lovely
Speaker 1: guests whom I love so very much, the Nap Bishop herself,
Speaker 1: who told us in so loving a way to set
Speaker 1: your bitches down and take a nap, sist nap.
Speaker 5: But don't at chocolate before you do it, because there
Speaker 5: are also foods that are let them to sweating, and
Speaker 5: chocolate is one of them. I would just like you
Speaker 5: to also dig into that and see the things that.
Speaker 2: We eat the ad to sweat.
Speaker 5: AND's last last tip is yams sweet yeas.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh, I didn't realize. I just think in front
Speaker 3: of y'all that just okay. I'm glad I did it
Speaker 3: and didn't think about it.
Speaker 1: It was I don't have a tip because you ain't
Speaker 1: got it. I don't. I don't have a tip, but
Speaker 1: I just I just want to throw that out here
Speaker 1: to try your best. If you're if you're feeling like
Speaker 1: you're moving through the world in a in a way
Speaker 1: that isn't positive. Pay attention to to where it's all
Speaker 1: starting from. Pay attention and do some investigating. Honey, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, you gotta you gotta know, you gotta feel it,
Speaker 1: you gotta see the energy around to change because because
Speaker 1: because you on one, you know what I mean, take
Speaker 1: a minute, You got to excuse yourself in any way,
Speaker 1: like A just said, take a nap. Maybe try to
Speaker 1: eat the right foods, have a little more water, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you need to do, because don't
Speaker 1: nobody want to experience that. Nobody know, nobody wants, No,
Speaker 1: nobody really does. Okay, So whether it's me or anybody else,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to hold on, hold on the mind,
Speaker 1: the bitch on my outer bitch.
Speaker 5: Still, don't implod, don't implode, jail, don't implod never, okay never.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to j dot L
Speaker 1: the podcast. It is our pleasure to have conversations that
Speaker 1: sparks conversation and action. Bless y'all.
Speaker 3: How do you eat an elephant?
Speaker 2: One by time?
Speaker 6: Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here. I just want
Speaker 6: to reiterate that we are not doctors, so run any
Speaker 6: type of supplements or treatments by your care team, and
Speaker 6: if any of you can relate to Laya's journey with perimenopause,
Speaker 6: I hope you embrace this as your godd it's yours.
Speaker 6: I'll drop a link in the show notes to an
Speaker 6: article that gets deeper into that queen hormone and it
Speaker 6: kind of spiritualizes that transition that Aga mentioned earlier in
Speaker 6: the episode. Our bodies are so deeply intelligent and the
Speaker 6: shifts so beautifully designed by the creator, So don't let
Speaker 6: patriarchy and capitalism get you messed up. Embrace the queen
Speaker 6: hormone and dive into you in any little ways that
Speaker 6: you can shift focus and take care of you and
Speaker 6: the little moments that you have. Again, if symptoms are
Speaker 6: heating up, there's a link in the show notes with
Speaker 6: all of the supplements that we talked about in this episode.
Speaker 6: Having a uterus, being a black woman or femme.
Speaker 1: Shake gets complicated and layered.
Speaker 6: For sure, But remember there is so much divine magic
Speaker 6: in every season, So do as Sweety does and tap
Speaker 6: tap tap in.
Speaker 1: Love you. Oh, and if you have.
Speaker 6: Anything to share about how you move through this season.
Speaker 6: Call us and leave a message at eight sixty six.
Speaker 6: Hey Jill, and share this episode with anybody that you
Speaker 6: know who is hitting that periment of pause age.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Hi yeah.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 1: If you have comments on something we said in this
Speaker 1: episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want
Speaker 1: to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four
Speaker 1: three nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell
Speaker 1: us your name and the episode.
Speaker 3: You're referring to.
Speaker 1: You might just hear your message on a future episode.
Speaker 6: Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot L.
Speaker 1: Thepodcast Jay dot L is a production of iHeartRadio. For
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