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Speaker 1: Welcome to J dot L, a production of iHeartRadio. Well

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Speaker 1: hilarusy here here, Hi, everybody, Welcome back to J dot

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Speaker 1: L the podcast. I'm here with my sister friends. You

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Speaker 1: know him La Saint Clair. That's how I felt, I

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Speaker 1: don't know Adria Graydon Dansler were starting with o's okay,

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Speaker 1: how about this one? Oh oh oh no, that was

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Speaker 1: Johnny Gil. I couldn't get the right note at the beginning.

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Speaker 1: But we're working out. Y'all knew what I was saying,

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Speaker 1: don't you know? If you know?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: Anyway? Hell and oh, this is Jill Scott and I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting here with my sister friends. You always wonder like

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Speaker 1: why is it that we don't why is it that

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Speaker 1: we don't have a video. Well, currently I'm sitting here

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Speaker 1: taking my braids out, preparing for what I got to

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Speaker 1: do next, Hunty, and I was thinking about that moment,

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Speaker 1: that black girl moment when you cut your braid too

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Speaker 1: short and end up cutting your own damn hair. Oh lord,

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Speaker 1: I told you, I'm I'm I'm ridiculous. Cut below shoulder

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Speaker 1: all at all times. I know not that long. I

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Speaker 1: know it has not under any circumstances grown that long.

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Speaker 1: But I just I do it anyway, do you.

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Speaker 2: It's for the potential.

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Speaker 3: You're in a low Asian.

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Speaker 2: We all do it. It's like maybe I had a growth.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I had a grocer first. It's the delusion for me,

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Speaker 1: don't want to cut my hair.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: Looking at your hair and it is long. I see

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Speaker 1: where you've cut the braid right, yeah, And I see

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Speaker 1: where your hair is, and I understand, yes, you're you

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Speaker 1: have you got it like you know the right one. Girl,

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Speaker 1: It's not.

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Speaker 2: Going shorter than a bob. I'm not cutting this shorter

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Speaker 2: than a bob.

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Speaker 1: Go to the We've all made that mistake at some

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Speaker 1: point and cut the cut the wrong length. That a

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Speaker 1: ruiny day because the style that you have underneath your

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Speaker 1: braids now no longer works because you've got a whole

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Speaker 1: chunk cut out and what was right ain't Yeah, I protected, it.

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Speaker 2: Was protected style. I don't feel protected.

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Speaker 1: I feel I feel yeah. So you've got to take

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Speaker 1: precautions not to do these things to yourself. You don't

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Speaker 1: want is to have a full day of being a

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Speaker 1: bitch ass bench.

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Speaker 2: I said it.

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Speaker 4: A whole day just being because it's a good reasoning

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Speaker 4: that happened to you, I don't know all bitch.

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Speaker 1: Today we're going to talk about why these bites? When

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Speaker 1: is it? Why that that the break too short? What's

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Speaker 1: your problem?

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Speaker 3: Sir?

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Speaker 1: Well, what's up with you?

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Speaker 2: All of it?

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Speaker 1: Is it really up to us to understand it ain't

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Speaker 1: always our fault. I'm not saying yeah, of course, it's

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Speaker 1: not always or even sometimes our fault at all. But

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Speaker 1: sometimes something happens, whether it's external, sometimes it's internal that

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Speaker 1: messes us up. And all of a sudden, we're walking

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Speaker 1: around with this bitch ass attitude. And when I say that,

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Speaker 1: like I know, people like, hey, that's not the one,

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Speaker 1: that's not her, that's not her. Talk about her, we

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Speaker 1: love her. We talk about with the hefty bee ooh

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Speaker 1: it talking about about that nasty attitude and that confrontational

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Speaker 1: spirit that just want to you know, bark huh, you

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Speaker 1: see it, you see it? You want to bark anything

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Speaker 1: and anybody stank when you be in your joy and

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Speaker 1: it triggered you and you be like what.

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Like that you have to check yourself because you don't

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Speaker 1: be used to it. You be moving through the work,

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Speaker 1: You're like, wait a minute, hold up, did she.

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Speaker 2: Steal my energy?

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Speaker 3: And my joy, bitch down.

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Speaker 1: It's a talent. That's a talent that's not the loving hat. No,

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Speaker 1: it's not that. It's that it's that other energy. And

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Speaker 1: you know, some people definitely act like it doesn't exist.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how that works because they out here.

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Speaker 1: I've had my moments. Anybody else have the moments where

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I'm being a whole bitch right now. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I definitely have those moments. But guess what I do?

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Speaker 1: I shut down? Well, see, I've had a moment where

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Speaker 1: I can I get outside of myself and I can

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Speaker 1: actually see and I'm like, oh wow. And you know

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Speaker 1: how you emotionally have a moment where you outside yourself

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Speaker 1: and you actually see yourself being wild and you can't

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Speaker 1: stop it, and you be like, oh wow, I'm I'm wilding,

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Speaker 1: Like you see yourself going down the road and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm wild I can't myself you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You know how that that lyric and time after time

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Speaker 1: she says, I see you when you're walking too far ahead.

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Speaker 1: It's like you can see your own self walking way

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Speaker 1: too far ahead, and you're just like I can't stop her.

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Speaker 1: She's gone you're just gonna.

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Speaker 5: Have to do the apology tour. That's what I do.

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Speaker 5: I'll come back the apology ter er. I'll be like i'd

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Speaker 5: have done that a couple of times, like I'm did

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Speaker 5: I because you know I didn't mean?

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Speaker 3: And then I'm sorry, I don't. I don't know where

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Speaker 3: that came from.

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Speaker 1: This is this is the good part about growing up,

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Speaker 1: you know, as the only child. Oh, because this is

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Speaker 1: where I separate myself. I'm like, Okay, nobody needs this,

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Speaker 1: then nobody needs this. If I can just shut down,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, if I can put these

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Speaker 1: headphones on or this is these earbuds, if I can,

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Speaker 1: you know, I isolate myself because I can't make any promises.

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Speaker 1: Today is not the day. I'm not having a good one.

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Speaker 1: And nobody wants to hear, you know, especially a stranger

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Speaker 1: or somebody driving next to you. They don't want to

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Speaker 1: hear what happened. They don't want to hear what happened.

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Speaker 1: They all they know is that right now this bitch

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Speaker 1: is wilding or being I haven't been alone in twenty

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Speaker 1: five years.

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Speaker 2: Agent don't be believing, Jill, what you mean. That ain't true.

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Speaker 3: That ain't true. What but I'm like what you just said, Okay,

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Speaker 3: the only child, the only child.

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Speaker 5: Wow, it is admirable somehow that bitch will seep out

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Speaker 5: in places around people that you just you can't help it.

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Speaker 3: And this is Jill.

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Speaker 5: So what she's trying to say to me and you

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Speaker 5: aga is is that ain't nobody ever really seeing her?

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Speaker 2: Bitch nigat all?

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Speaker 5: You said this only child go inside, put her headphones on.

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Speaker 5: You know, she tried to go and because she don't

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Speaker 5: want nobody to see this, because you know I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's not so much I don't want you to see it.

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Speaker 1: I don't just want you to experience Oh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because okay, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Want you to experience it because I know it's primarily

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Speaker 1: it's my inner shit. I don't have anything to do

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Speaker 1: with you. I might have just got my cycle today.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying today, And that's not it's

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Speaker 1: not an excuse, it's a real it's factual. I'm hurting.

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Speaker 1: My downwards are hurting.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: I'm hot, I'm agitated, my my stuff, that stuff on

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Speaker 1: me that's swollen for mysel I'm bloated, like I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like being pleasant. I'm mad, I'm agitated. What I'm

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Speaker 1: taking away from what you're saying is that it's like

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Speaker 1: having an understanding of what's going on with you and

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Speaker 1: then taking that space for yourself is like the number

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Speaker 1: one issue around even controlling your own bitchiness. And then

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Speaker 1: you know, and then it informs kind of the way

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Speaker 1: that you receive someone else's But let's not talk about

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Speaker 1: someone else's in this point. My point is that that

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Speaker 1: self awareness bit is really good, and at this age,

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Speaker 1: very easily we can switch from being it could be

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Speaker 1: on the first day of your period and then before

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Speaker 1: you know it, it's it's the start of the last days.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, the last days of the last days of

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Speaker 1: said period.

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Speaker 5: Because let's do and then you don't have that self

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Speaker 5: awareness because that that that them last days sneak up

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Speaker 5: on the.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be

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Speaker 1: right back.

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Speaker 5: It takes us to a certain point in our life

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Speaker 5: to even understand how to navigate around the PMS.

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Speaker 3: I don't know about y'all, but.

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Speaker 5: I started playing things like now that we have apps,

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Speaker 5: I'd be like, Okay, I'm not gonna make these decisions

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Speaker 5: because I know I'm gonna be in PMS or I

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Speaker 5: ain't gonna really tap too many passionate conversations with him

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Speaker 5: because I know where I am right. But right when

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Speaker 5: you get to that point and you start to understand it,

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Speaker 5: you can, you know, maneuver around it. Forty five, I'm

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Speaker 5: just telling I didn't turn forty five in January.

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Speaker 2: Bitch.

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Speaker 5: I ain't seen my periods as February child, I don't

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Speaker 5: know what is going the fuck.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: When you don't know when your period is coming, you.

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Speaker 5: Want to talk about the emotions and the confusions.

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Speaker 1: About my whole life.

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Speaker 3: Seriously, Jill, what's you're talking about?

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Speaker 1: What you jonas? My period disappeared when I was about fourteen,

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Speaker 1: We talked about it. We stay away until I was

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Speaker 1: thirty three. Okay, occasionally like one too every now and then,

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Speaker 1: but it just it just disappeared.

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Speaker 5: But is it different now now? Is your quadunari right now?

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Speaker 5: Es quaternarian?

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Speaker 2: Yes? What that?

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Speaker 3: What that looking like?

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Speaker 1: I'm not experiencing some of the things that my peers.

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Speaker 3: Are because you did it earlier, That's.

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Speaker 1: What I'm saying. I feel most of my life that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: That's what I think. Like my home, it's always been

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Speaker 1: you know, Iffy, you know what's been really interesting, you know,

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Speaker 1: would be really interesting as scientific scientific level, medical biological level,

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Speaker 1: is that, like so Amber sent us some really awesome

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Speaker 1: articles about paramento pause, and one of the main things

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Speaker 1: they talked about is like the switching of the different hormones,

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Speaker 1: Like you're kind of wired hormonially during a certain period

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Speaker 1: of your time to be a giver to mother, whether

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Speaker 1: you choose to mother or not, right that you're kind

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Speaker 1: of wired that way hormonally to prepare for something like that,

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Speaker 1: for this like optimum time to mother, which is interesting

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Speaker 1: a story about that later. But and then as you

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Speaker 1: go into perimenopause, you have a different kind of hormone

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Speaker 1: and it's a specific hormone which they call the queen hormone.

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Speaker 1: That's just like a nickname for it. Don't get me

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Speaker 1: into what it's actually really called. And then you you

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Speaker 1: kind of turn in word and start thinking more about yourself. Now,

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Speaker 1: what I would love to see is that this time

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Speaker 1: has passed already. But my curiosity, my geek curiosity, wonders,

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Speaker 1: at the time that you weren't having your period, what

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Speaker 1: type of hormones were you experience? Were you experiencing these

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Speaker 1: highly giver mother hormones regardless of not having you know,

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Speaker 1: having had the actual period happening, or were you always

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Speaker 1: experiencing the queen hormone?

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Speaker 5: Your bitch factor is that shit is crazy, your bitch

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Speaker 5: factor everywhere de'll night if you I'm.

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Speaker 3: Just I'm not saying, kurrent you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: But it started like if that's the case, what Asia

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Speaker 5: is saying, like, yeah, your shit.

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Speaker 4: Is all.

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Speaker 1: Saying it could have been here. Here's the key if

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Speaker 1: we are if we are correlating bitch behavior with queen behavior, see,

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Speaker 1: let's get into it is bitch behavior actually just behavior

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Speaker 1: that prioritizes the self, because that is what queen queen

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Speaker 1: behavior is. Right he said, well according to this nickname

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Speaker 1: of this hormone. Right, So, how many people can relate

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Speaker 1: to the fact that, Okay, over forty you start maybe

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Speaker 1: getting creative, taking like a war class, yeah, traveling more,

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Speaker 1: getting less attentive to like the needs of your family,

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Speaker 1: and starting to think more of yourself, which is not

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Speaker 1: a negative thing.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 1: So our perception of bitch behavior because it can be

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Speaker 1: very anti towards what society says women should be, which

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Speaker 1: is nurturing at all times, right, and so that that

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Speaker 1: bitch behavior could not necessarily be negative. It could just

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Speaker 1: be that we are socialized and we are indoctrinated into

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Speaker 1: believing that women should behave in this way that's kind

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Speaker 1: and nurturing and welcoming all the time, and when we don't,

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Speaker 1: it's it's you know, it's it's an affront. Y'all.

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Speaker 2: Asia just broke it down.

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Speaker 3: She just said, some man created the word bitch and

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Speaker 3: told us what it was.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she did. Did you hear that?

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Speaker 3: I heard it?

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Speaker 2: Did you say that I did?

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Speaker 1: She said? It makes sense, It makes sense. And here

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Speaker 1: we are judging one another, having these interactions in which

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Speaker 1: we decide who we are as people based on what

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Speaker 1: a standard of what. Ooh, I haven't said it. I

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Speaker 1: haven't said it alone, weird girl. I can feel it

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Speaker 1: coming up through my toes, up to my chest, through

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Speaker 1: my throat and through my lips, through my throat. Oh,

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Speaker 1: white supremacy. So what you're saying, I did this? You

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Speaker 1: know this is partially biological? Yeah, that we have this

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Speaker 1: hormone initially because we're fertile and young and we are

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Speaker 1: our bodies know that it's time to you know, make

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Speaker 1: babies that you that you have that nesting period where

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Speaker 1: you settle down. Yeah, you know all of these things.

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Speaker 1: And once you hit a certain age when you're going

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Speaker 1: you know, when you hit forty five or so, you know,

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Speaker 1: you've got a queen hormone which no longer focuses on

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Speaker 1: family and having children, like you said, and you know,

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Speaker 1: because your kids are primarily grown or older, so they

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Speaker 1: don't need as much, you know, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: So now, but you've got this yeah, I mean, I'm sorry, it.

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Speaker 2: Isn't an a pause.

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Speaker 3: That's that's us like losing estrogen, right, like our testosterone.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know, y'all, isn't this kind.

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Speaker 1: Of some testosterone and estrogen. We have a lot of

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Speaker 1: boats in the first you know, earlier stages, right.

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Speaker 5: And so it's interesting because I'm just thinking of it

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Speaker 5: from a male perspective because I'm like, okay, so we

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Speaker 5: start growing hair in places that men may grow hair,

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Speaker 5: and this is just the cons I'm sure there's some

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Speaker 5: beautiful queen pros, but I was just thinking about the

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Speaker 5: likeliness to men.

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Speaker 2: In that way.

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Speaker 1: I wonder what happens to them.

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Speaker 5: It's like, are we getting some of their traits as

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Speaker 5: we begin to mmm, that's what it made me think

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Speaker 5: of in a way, right, It's like, not only are

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Speaker 5: things changing hair, places, mouth, chest, chin, this is happening.

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Speaker 5: As that's happening, we're starting to care more about ourselves.

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Speaker 5: You're saying like men, I'm I'm not saying.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, but I'm just saying, like, I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is an interesting conversation about biology versus social you know,

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Speaker 1: you know, like what parts are part of our social

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Speaker 1: understanding of ourselves and our behavior, and what is like

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Speaker 1: really a biological you know thing, because really we're all women,

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Speaker 1: and we all have a different experience. And Jill herself,

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Speaker 1: who's a human being and identifies us as a woman,

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Speaker 1: was born with with female genitalia, had a completely different

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Speaker 1: experience in life as it pertains to those parts of

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Speaker 1: her body. And who's to say also too, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm not. I mean, I never I never said

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Speaker 1: that out loud to a group of people, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, anybody that's listening. It's not like I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't get my period for years and years, you know.

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Speaker 2: I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say that to anybody, So maybe I'm not

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Speaker 1: the only person or of women who you know at

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Speaker 1: some point they're cycle went away. I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was interesting that that's what I prayed for and that's

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Speaker 1: what I got.

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Speaker 3: You manifested something and you received it.

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Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I asked guy to take away my cycle because it

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Speaker 1: was painful and I didn't like any parts of it,

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Speaker 1: and then bring it back to me when he was

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Speaker 1: ready for me to have a baby. Shit it girl.

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Speaker 1: They went away and it came back when I was

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Speaker 1: thirty three years old on the day. I'm just curious

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Speaker 1: when we had the African ancestry, who in your lineage

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Speaker 1: is the souths theyer is the medicine woman child. But

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Speaker 1: I do think also too, I want to be careful

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Speaker 1: because like so many types of women listen to this

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Speaker 1: show and say that we're not we're not also saying

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Speaker 1: that you cannot tap into a high level of nurturing

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Speaker 1: at having children at in your forties because because of

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Speaker 1: women have children in their forties. But I actually think

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Speaker 1: when I in the fifties two, a lot of times

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Speaker 1: when I see women who have children ate quote unquote

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Speaker 1: late in life, life like another societal thing. But like

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Speaker 1: who have children late in life, sometimes I feel like

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Speaker 1: they're more prepared to have kids. They have potentially more

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Speaker 1: patience in my opinion sometimes, So I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that I think, you know, I mean, I feel like

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Speaker 1: biologically we're talking about something that probably applies to a

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Speaker 1: large portion of women. But how can we really know

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Speaker 1: because women really we're not talking about this enough with

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Speaker 1: the data.

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Speaker 5: I will tell you this, it is an interesting mind

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Speaker 5: fuck to have your fabors taken out one year and

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Speaker 5: then the next year and not get your period no more,

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Speaker 5: mentally die you know, you try, especially as a person

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Speaker 5: who receives God and all their messages and.

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Speaker 3: Is trying to follow the path that is set. So

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Speaker 3: you just gotta know that you believe God is doing

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Speaker 3: all the right things for you.

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Speaker 5: So in that way of a forty something woman, I

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Speaker 5: do wonder if women are like me at this age

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Speaker 5: and that, who are considering kids.

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Speaker 3: Hey, I still am in the.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like wherever God leads me.

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Speaker 5: But it's a mind fuck if you're going through this

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Speaker 5: and you are consciously trying to make babies, like imagine like,

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Speaker 5: but then also it's also a mind fuck because it's easier,

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Speaker 5: they say, sometimes it's easier to get pregnant because you

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Speaker 5: don't know when that that fucking period coming. So they

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Speaker 5: a lot of there are a lot of menopause babies.

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Speaker 1: Oh tons of them.

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Speaker 2: What are they calling them?

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Speaker 1: Uh A changed baby, change baby, we got unicorn, change rainbow.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 5: I love it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just changing.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I know you haven't seen Jurassic Park, but like life

358
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Speaker 1: finds a way, life gonna find a way. Yeah, you

359
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I think, you know, just

360
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Speaker 1: having that kind of sense of you know, perspective active

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Speaker 1: on when we're dealing with one another or even like

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Speaker 1: I said, really mostly when we're dealing with ourselves, they

363
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 1: understanding of ourselves. And I do think this, like there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of negativity around perimenopause and a lot of

365
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Speaker 1: feelings of like what you're going to lose and what

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Speaker 1: type of like intense things are going to happen to you,

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Speaker 1: but having this perspective about it being like a renewal

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Speaker 1: because in one of the articles it was talking about

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Speaker 1: how like even some of the symptoms are really indicative

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Speaker 1: of the high stress levels that certain women have particularly

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Speaker 1: in like American society, because in Japan they didn't even

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Speaker 1: until recently have a word for high flash. Their word

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Speaker 1: for menopause is like a word meaning like renewal or rebirth,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, And that and that hormonally

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Speaker 1: because of the changes, you can get huge sparks of

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Speaker 1: creativity and like really kind of fine and redefine a

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00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 1: new portion of your life. And so I think I

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00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:56,440
Speaker 1: think that that immediate kind of you know, the reputation

379
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Speaker 1: that is more indicative of the highly you know, structural

380
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Speaker 1: issues that happen in this country that are just freaking stressful,

381
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Speaker 1: and as our bodies and minds are pushing back on that.

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Speaker 1: So some of the bitch behavior is, you know, a

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Speaker 1: form of resistance in a lot of ways. It's like

384
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Speaker 1: I should be enjoying the benefits of this time and

385
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Speaker 1: not having to push back on a society that continually

386
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Speaker 1: want that wants to drain me, shame me. Fel like

387
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Speaker 1: I had enough.

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Speaker 5: I definitely go back and forth, But I also understand,

389
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Speaker 5: you know, I feel like being parry. Menopause is going

390
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 5: to be the new period in the sense that even

391
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Speaker 5: the way we started our new season and talking about

392
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Speaker 5: like we're talking about our Cusi's on.

393
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Speaker 2: TV right lately, finally, finally, So lately I'm.

394
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Speaker 5: Having a lot of conversations because I had to find

395
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Speaker 5: I had to find my extra bind and I had

396
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Speaker 5: to find my yam. So I have been sweating a lot,

397
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Speaker 5: you know, just in public and the interaction with people

398
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Speaker 5: when they writteness your sweat is something.

399
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Speaker 3: Now.

400
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Speaker 5: First of all, I would like to shout out my

401
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 5: mother because this is clearly a payback. I didn't know

402
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 5: she was going through perry menopause in my age, and

403
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 5: I would always ask for if the she needa towel,

404
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 5: and Mommy your sweating.

405
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Speaker 2: I always let her know like she ain't. No.

406
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Speaker 5: Now I understand that was wrong. I also understand that

407
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 5: it's a lot of us going through these things. And

408
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 5: I just think, like, I don't know, y'all we got

409
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 5: commercials for these things. Now we got I don't if

410
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 5: y'all seen the new commercial for parent even pari menopause

411
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 5: is a commercial for some drug, and I say you

412
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 5: should take it. But it all starts the conversation and

413
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 5: talking to the younger generation, and so this all.

414
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Speaker 2: Gets better, all gets better, honest.

415
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 5: And I sell every now when I talk to women,

416
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,640
Speaker 5: I'm really sitting here like thinking, okay, so how old

417
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 5: is she is? She's being a bitch. I'm trying to

418
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 5: be conscious of all the things. Like it's just a

419
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 5: it's a process that I think we getting there.

420
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Speaker 1: Gets like this though. First of all, I didn't even

421
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: know perry menopause was a thing until a couple of

422
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,120
Speaker 1: months ago. Okay, forgive my ignorance, but I never heard

423
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: the word before.

424
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Speaker 2: I was like, our mothers didn't have a name for it.

425
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: Popped up in the script and I was like, what

426
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 1: is that? That's one and the number two. You know,

427
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 1: so we're all learning about this thing that is inevitable.

428
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,160
Speaker 1: You know, it's inevitable. So there's a there's another portion

429
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: to this, like there's always a reason, you know, there's

430
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: always a reason for a thing. Nothing just really happens

431
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 1: because it happens, you know, the rainfalls, the seed is

432
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: is nourished and fertilized in the soil, the sun hits it,

433
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: eventually it's going to start to grow. Right, This is

434
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: kind of how life works. One thing begets another. How

435
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: is it that we you know, the explanations for everything

436
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 1: kind of gets it kind of gets I get weary,

437
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: get weary. There's always a reason for a thing, you know,

438
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 1: I get that part, But it makes you feel tired.

439
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 1: Don't nobody cares about Like I said, they don't really

440
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 1: care about your reasoning. You just do you think that

441
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: the reasoning? Do you think the reasoning maybe makes you

442
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: feel to hell the space like you haven't been able

443
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: to hold a space for how it makes you feel,

444
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: Because I think sometimes what I hear when people say

445
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: I'm tired of the excuses, I'm tired of the reasons

446
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 1: for everything. How I think that, how I process that

447
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: is I just need to feel my feelings without knowing

448
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: any other things first, you know, because I'm a perspective

449
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: like a junkie, you know, And so in listening to you,

450
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 1: like partially what that kind of feels like listening to

451
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 1: you is like I just want to feel my stuff,

452
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like if you did something

453
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,119
Speaker 1: and I witnessed you in a space and that triggered me,

454
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 1: or that made me feel some type of way, like

455
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: I don't have time for the why it made me

456
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: feel like this period.

457
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 5: That's because that's the easier thing to do, though sometimes too,

458
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 5: I don't know in my mind, and you know, not

459
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 5: just you, Jill. I think sometimes people do think that

460
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 5: way too, because it takes a it takes extra thought to.

461
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 3: Actually to actually overthink things like that.

462
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 5: Like it takes thought to be like and sometimes you

463
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 5: just want to go. Sometimes you just want to like

464
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 5: you said, I guess you just want to have emotions.

465
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 5: But you also you got to consider that we have

466
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 5: words and stuff or things that we haven't had before,

467
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 5: and we have we do have explanations for things that we.

468
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 2: Couldn't explain before.

469
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 5: So I don't know, I feel like there's a gray

470
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 5: in there. I know it's a weird balance, but I'm

471
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,360
Speaker 5: in the gray all the time.

472
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: It's a both. It's just a both to me, like

473
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: you know, not to be a typical Libra in this moment,

474
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: but I think it's I think it's a both. You

475
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, yes, hold space for your feelings,

476
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: like take a minute. Yeah, and if you don't like

477
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 1: some shit, don't don't like it, you know what I'm saying,

478
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: And you don't have to engage in the perspective of

479
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 1: it at that moment, you know what. I at that moment,

480
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: maybe I too need a little bit of time to

481
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: deal with whatever it is that you're projecting on to

482
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: me or whatever. Maybe I need a moment to figure

483
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: that out. But these are This is what I'm talking

484
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: about specifically, is that there are moments when, let's just say,

485
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: as a as a parent, or someone who is even

486
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: babysitting a child. Okay, you've had a hell of a day.

487
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: Your your ankle hurts, I don't know, you've you've been sneezing.

488
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: I don't know all the reasons are, but you have

489
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: to find it in yourself to have patience with this

490
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: child until you can put that child to bed. The

491
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,920
Speaker 1: goal is to feed the kid, watch the kid, read

492
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: the story, knock that kid out, so go to sleep,

493
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 1: and then you can deal with it. You can deal

494
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: with the things that are are oppressing you at the

495
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 1: moment or on your spirit.

496
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: That's a kid, that's a kid.

497
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 1: What's the difficult Everybody, Like I said, it's a both, friend,

498
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 1: it's a both. What's the difference? Because we end up

499
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: having to deal with stuff all the time, you know

500
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, I mean eventually it's a circle back,

501
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: no matter what it's like. Saying that as a president

502
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: of the United States, or or whatever country. I've heard

503
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: this over and over over the years. You know, people

504
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: with that shit. Or I wouldn't want a woman president

505
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 1: because she's got to deal with her period. Let me

506
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: tell you something. We deal with a lot of things, okay,

507
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: And you can't tell me that a woman cannot be

508
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: rational or cannot think the bigger picture in the middle

509
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: of all the stuff, you know what I mean.

510
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 2: That's an interesting argument, Jill Man, Okay, are you Are.

511
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: We really saying that?

512
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 2: No?

513
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: So if I'm having a hard conversation with me and

514
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of a bitch episode that I

515
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: don't have to be responsible enough to know that I

516
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: need to walk the fuck away. I need to walk

517
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: away because I'm gonna say something or I'm gonna do something.

518
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: But if you don't have language, if you don't have

519
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 1: language for that, then you can't create systems to support it.

520
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 1: So it's like, eventually the conversation about what's really happening

521
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: to you got to happen. Absolutely more conversation after the break.

522
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 5: If you don't have language, are you excused because you

523
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 5: don't have the language and you're just reacting?

524
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 2: But everybody knows this is what's going on with.

525
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: You, or they know something is going on with you. Well,

526
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: I feel like this. Everybody will use who you are

527
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: and what your experiences are to create a box for

528
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: you to be in because they need to be able

529
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: to predict your behavior, tell you what you can and

530
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: cannot have. That's just a habit of a capitalist society.

531
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: They just trying to do that. But it doesn't have

532
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: to be that way. If you create a culture around

533
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: conversation and around understanding, then it doesn't say that. Okay

534
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: that and also too again, let me just put this

535
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: out here. If we have even the idea of having

536
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: a president and not having or not having a situation

537
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: where there's a joint decisions to be made and that

538
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: it's not a decision of a single person, is problematic, right,

539
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: because even if you're a man, that's a problem because

540
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: even men can have emotional breakdowns, mental illness, depression, any

541
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: number of different things that might be bowel syndrome. Yeah,

542
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: everything that they could you know, X.

543
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 3: Y and Z.

544
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 5: Hopefully that's why we got checks and balances, you know,

545
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 5: juditial legislative, right, but checks.

546
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: And balances in the world, it's a checks and balances issue.

547
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: You can't have those checks and balances if you're not

548
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: willing to have conversations and create language around it now

549
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: in the process of that. Yes, if somebody's being a

550
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: bitch to me and I want to cuss this bitch

551
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: out because of the way she's treating me and because

552
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: I'm triggered by her behavior, then okay, I have my moment.

553
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: She had her moment. We had our moment. It's the

554
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: circle back that counts, whether it's the sun the two

555
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: of us, whether it's a circle back between the two

556
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: of us, or a circle back within our personal conversation

557
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: with ourselves in which we all take accountability. And now

558
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: we say, hey, you know what, let me check this

559
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: calendar right quick, let me let me think about right,

560
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: let me think about let me give myself the proper

561
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: perspective around where I am. You understand what I'm saying.

562
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: And so that's kind of what I was getting from Jill,

563
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 1: is that let's hold space for both. Let's hold space

564
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: for the fact that reacting to raggedy behavior is a

565
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: natural thing to which we sometimes need to allow ourselves

566
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: the ability to do, particularly black women, because we are

567
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: constantly talking ourselves down from our actual.

568
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 5: Feeling I'm about to say, I might have talked myself

569
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 5: down to the point where I don't think I'm allowed to.

570
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 5: But I hear you.

571
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: I'm working when.

572
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: We talk about this and the rage again in the

573
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: Race the Machine episode where it was like being able

574
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: to tap into the realness of how you are responding

575
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: to some stuff in the world. Right, So I don't

576
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: even think it's really like I said, it's not an ore,

577
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 1: it's not a choose this or this again. I'll bring

578
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: this back up. It's that binary thinking constantly. It gotta

579
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: be one thing on the other. No, I was in

580
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: the gray, in the gray, and I wouldn't even say gray.

581
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: See gray indicates unsureness, okay, gray indicates that, oh this

582
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: is this is clouded. It is not clear. No, this

583
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: is clear. To think in a circle is clarity. To

584
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: think in a binary or in a linear is not.

585
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 3: But it's also it's clear to a point.

586
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 5: Because Jill brought up a good point, like I'm sure,

587
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm sure there's a low order episode to

588
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 5: back me on this.

589
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 2: There has been an episode come.

590
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: On Where Love where the.

591
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 5: Defense wanted to use free minstrel syndrome as a reason

592
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,959
Speaker 5: because physically things happen, and literally, as y'all talking, I'm

593
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 5: reading through this package that my doctor gave me after

594
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 5: my visit on all the things I can do about

595
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 5: my my my menopause, and these these things cover antidepressants

596
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 5: are in here, you know what I'm saying.

597
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 3: Like there are some real I mean mind and they

598
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 3: come to my doctor.

599
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 5: She gave me herbal treatments as well, but mind body

600
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,959
Speaker 5: other treatments. Vaginal dryness that can piss me off too,

601
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 5: and that's not even faginal.

602
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

603
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 5: Anyway, we had a conversation about bagial dryness. Y'all please

604
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 5: use that muscle or else it will dry. That's a

605
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 5: side note.

606
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: But my point is is that if a woman does

607
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 3: not have a hold on what is going on.

608
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 5: With her at all, like if all the stuff is

609
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 5: happening and she doesn't have medical coverage or going to

610
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 5: a dot, or she doesn't have anybody or her mother

611
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 5: to ask her, what's.

612
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: Your minstrel story?

613
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 5: Like you don't even know that this is the time

614
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 5: that your mother with this, because y'all, that's real. My

615
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 5: doctor did say, ask your mama. That could lead to

616
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 5: a little bit of unsettling things. I could see someone

617
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 5: reacting from these things. Yeah, so that's why I say,

618
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 5: and so I'm so that's why I say there's some

619
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 5: gray because if you don't have this knowledge.

620
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 3: Are severely you know, impacted.

621
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: What you do.

622
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 1: So so what we're saying here, well what I think

623
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: we're saying, I'll say what I'm saying. How about that.

624
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 3: Damie took their hair off fast, amazing black woman, that

625
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 3: was magical?

626
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: Thank you?

627
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 3: Is that.

628
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: That we have to care about being a woman. They're

629
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: apps for this. There's sights, there's conversations that are being

630
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: had that if you you know, we're loud, we're proud,

631
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: we're women. All of these things are happening to our

632
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: bodies or naturally, And if we care about the people

633
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: that are around us and the and and how we

634
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: present ourselves and not not as a robot you know,

635
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not talking about pretending to be anything.

636
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 1: I'm talking about being all of yourself and all of

637
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 1: ourselves in order to get it, then we actually have

638
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: what again, some work to do. Yeah, but I think

639
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: that's a small nuance there too, that we should that

640
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 1: we should mention that as long as this kind of

641
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: information is like she said, is not used to oppress

642
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 1: us or to further subjugate us or further put us

643
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: in certain boxes. Then in that but that that information

644
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: is used to create larger structural changes around structural changes

645
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 1: and like societal changes around the culture changes, around the

646
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: way we look at women and their bodies and their

647
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,280
Speaker 1: evolution and their biology and all this other kind of stuff.

648
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: Because needless to say that if you are a trans man,

649
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: you have all these same things going on inside your biologically,

650
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 1: and so you might also experience this as well. And

651
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: you know, depending on what your experience is, you will also.

652
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: Therapy they go through.

653
00:34:58,200 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 2: That's interesting.

654
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: And what if you don't take any of the hormones? Right,

655
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: what if you're a trans you just present that way.

656
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 1: But my point is, my plan is at the end

657
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: of the day, I mean, that's a whole other conversation

658
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 1: that's outside of our personal wheelhouse, definitely, But I just

659
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: wanted to just to put it out there in terms

660
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 1: of like the bigger question for I mean, the little

661
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 1: nuance in there is that yes, we should talk about it,

662
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: yes we should have language about it. But the minute

663
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: that people start trying to flip the damn script, okay

664
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: and use that as an opportunity to do us foul.

665
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 1: We gotta be able to check that it's no different

666
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,280
Speaker 1: than if we talk about things culturally with being black

667
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 1: or being whatever. Yes, these things might be true, but

668
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: when people try to shift and switch the narrative, it's

669
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 1: our job to pull the coattails on it. But I

670
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: think ultimately we can only benefit from more conversation. Then

671
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: we cannot benefit from more conversation.

672
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 5: Asia, you could not be more true, because I'm gonna

673
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 5: tell y'all some of the best moments, and it's hard

674
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 5: to say best moments impairmental and in the same sentence,

675
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 5: but some of the best moments I've had in this

676
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 5: perimenopause journey is when another woman, sister or not like

677
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 5: comes to my aid, and not in the sense of

678
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 5: let me do something for you, but even in the

679
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 5: sense of, bro, I know what you're going through, Like

680
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 5: even that little thing right there, it just makes you

681
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 5: feel like, Okay, so I don't look crazy out in

682
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 5: these streets, you know.

683
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 3: Or it's somebody I'm somebody got a.

684
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 5: Fan because now I travel with fans now, but if

685
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 5: somebody else got a fan, they fan in me. Or

686
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 5: I see somebody else weating, and I'm just like, girl,

687
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 5: take some of this, you know, like it's just the

688
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 5: little things. And then we start a conversation of yeah,

689
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 5: girl IV and I'm working on these jams.

690
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 2: But we you in, you know, just like let's just

691
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 2: let's talk, y'all.

692
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: Let's just if you well, that's a good thing. What

693
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 1: are you doing? Because that's a good thing in terms

694
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 1: of like just I know that people listening to this

695
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: probably do have their own stories, like and so you know,

696
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 1: we got us a little wanting hunt and number you

697
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: know what that is. We know, like what y'all are

698
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: doing to cope? My sister, what are we doing? What

699
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 1: should we do with the herbs we should be taking?

700
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 3: Yes? Is it the black cohash or the blue cohash?

701
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 2: Because they confused me.

702
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: Is it's always gonna be something, It's always gonna be

703
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: we all, she said, it's always it's always ogonda.

704
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 3: But the yams, I'm just gonna tell y'all funny is

705
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 3: funny real quick?

706
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 2: Sex and the City was that the movie?

707
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 3: Part one?

708
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 5: Sex and the City won the movie? I don't know, y'all,

709
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 5: remember Sam and girl that ain't nothing but the truth.

710
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 5: When she was like the yam the yams. They work, y'all,

711
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 5: and they come in a pill form. I have organic

712
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 5: jams that I got, So I'm just saying between that

713
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 5: in the extra vent my sheets.

714
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 2: Are so much drier, honey sweet, Because he don't know

715
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: that that needs to be a remix. I'm so serious

716
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 2: it is.

717
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: He has a remix already.

718
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we need there's a special come on jail,

719
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 2: come through you don't want to.

720
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: And I get a night Sweats remix. I don't know

721
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: if I'm experiencing that quite yet.

722
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: You ain't going to You were so exceptional girl, I

723
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 2: don't know.

724
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 5: I don't know.

725
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: I bet.

726
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 2: Exceptional tribes.

727
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: I bet you. Hey, listen, if you had your cycle

728
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: go away for years, drop drop a little message and

729
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: let me know, please, because I've been feeling alone out here,

730
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: like what kind of thingy thing am I?

731
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 3: You know?

732
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: I would love to know you. I just want to

733
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: get back to the bitches real quick, too, okay, because

734
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: what I'm getting at is that we're giving a lot

735
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: of reasons.

736
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 2: You ain't got time for your excuses? What what what?

737
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 1: What you want from the what I want? What I

738
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: want for us? And I'm definitely including myself because come on, y'all.

739
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm a people. I'm a people, and what I'm looking

740
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 1: for is some accountability. Okay, that's what I'm talking about.

741
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: It's like, you know what, one time, I'm gonna say

742
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 1: a name because because just because I met Terry Vaughan.

743
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: Who is lovely right, yes, lovely yes.

744
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: I met her at a thing and I was absolutely

745
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: in the middle of a lot, and I didn't really

746
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,359
Speaker 1: want to be there, but I also wanted to be there,

747
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You've had those moments. And

748
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: I went to this thing and I just did not

749
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: have it in me to talk to anybody about anything.

750
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: And when she started to talk to me, I said,

751
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: I cannot talk to you right now. I would by myself.

752
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: I was by myself, and I saw her, I saw

753
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: her coming from across the room. I was like, she's

754
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 1: gonna talk talk to me. I knew that and I

755
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: and all I could say was I cannot talk to

756
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: you right now, okay, you know. And I felt terrible

757
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: about it because you know, in this story, you were

758
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: the bitch, and this story, I think I would think

759
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: that I was absolutely What accountability do you think you

760
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: owed her in that moment? Is it happening now. And

761
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: I didn't think I got old her anything. But I

762
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: saw her years later mm hmm, and I was like,

763
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,919
Speaker 1: you know what, I remember that day that we met,

764
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: and honestly, I just was having one. I was having

765
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,760
Speaker 1: one and I just couldn't. I couldn't, I could not engage.

766
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: And she was like, girl, everybody go ahead. Oh I

767
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 1: can see her saying that. So let me flip the

768
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 1: script on you. What if she said to you, I

769
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: don't really want to hear about your excuses. That was

770
00:40:55,040 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: fucked up what you did, I would have to say, okay, okay, okay,

771
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 1: like everybody ain't for everybody that's number one, school or

772
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 1: friends or and I know that, you know, first impressions

773
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 1: are lasting, but sometimes it's not the day. Sometimes that's

774
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: not the person. Sometimes you're not the person.

775
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: And it is what it is.

776
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what we're saying. It's pretty cut and dry.

777
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just not. But that's that's the thing. That's

778
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 1: the overall thing here is that if that was something

779
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 1: that we all kind and she for her, it was

780
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: a basic understanding. She had that understanding already, whether you

781
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: knew she did or not, she had that understanding of that. Oh,

782
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: everybody has those days, you know what I'm saying, And

783
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 1: I just you know, I think at the end of

784
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: the day, for me, I just want us to kind

785
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 1: of move through the world like that, not saying that

786
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: it's okay to be X, Y and Z, but that

787
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: there's a thing where we understand that this is a

788
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: thing that happens whether we like it or not, it's

789
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,800
Speaker 1: going to happen. You're going to roll up on a

790
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: woman of any age, but particularly of a certain age,

791
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: and you might get, Yeah, what you get, Damn.

792
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 3: That's that same thing happened to me with India. That

793
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 3: is so crazy, you know what I'm saying.

794
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: What you get, whatever it is that you get at

795
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: that time, doesn't necessarily define the person forever. No, no, no,

796
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: And it's something you on the other side.

797
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 2: Shout out to the NDII Raca.

798
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 5: She me and her had that same conversation once because

799
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 5: I had I had a similar cinemon to running with her,

800
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 5: and I just shout off the sisters for the circle back,

801
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 5: because sometimes it takes a lot to actually approach the

802
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 5: person who you felt like approached you wrong, and it

803
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 5: takes a lot to approach you know to respond to

804
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 5: when you know you was wrong, you know what I'm saying.

805
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 3: So I just everybody don't get the circle back.

806
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you right now, that's true. Everybody don't

807
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: get it.

808
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 3: And some folks should be like, we'd be all right.

809
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: I know I was wrong, but I ain't. I was

810
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: at a casino somewhere. I don't remember what I was exactly,

811
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: but we were rushing. Everything had gone wrong. I was

812
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 1: missing some back line, you know.

813
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: It was.

814
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: It was stuff. It was a bunch of stuff. And

815
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: I think I may have been in the middle of

816
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 1: a divorce. I'm not sure, but it was a bunch

817
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 1: of jam, you know what I'm saying, as life will

818
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: hand you sometimes. And I remember going through this, this

819
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: through the casino, I'm not expecting to see anybody, and

820
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: we're all moving fast that time, and we're moving really fast,

821
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: and this woman comes up with her daughter and they

822
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: were so sweet and they had so many feelings. But

823
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: I did not have time. I didn't and I did

824
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: not have the right energy to be engaging with a

825
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: child either. I didn't. And this is a sweet, seet

826
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: little little thing, and I hate that moment, like if

827
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 1: I could go back to a moment. I hate that

828
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 1: moment because I know that they will come in like

829
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: it genuinely, you know, to say something positive or you know,

830
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: to give a hug or something. And I wish that

831
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: I could have been a little more mature in that moment.

832
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: I wish I could you have an extra element of

833
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: things you have to deal with. Okay, so let's you

834
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yes, all the things we're saying

835
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:26,439
Speaker 1: apply to all of us, but for women who are public, oh,

836
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, jail, jail, jail, jail. Seriously, that's a

837
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: little bit extra responsibility and it's rough. Yes, right, that's

838
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: that's a rough one for you because then you have

839
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: to navigate other people's feelings in a different way, and

840
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: it's more likely to happen at a time when you

841
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: really can't and the people who you're involved with you're

842
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: likely not to see again.

843
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 2: And impression.

844
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot, that's a lot to that's a

845
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 1: lot to carry. I will say to you as a friend,

846
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,840
Speaker 1: just you know, and not that you haven't released it,

847
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 1: but that's a part of your life that's unique to

848
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: your life, and you're going to have to let that

849
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 1: one go because at the end of the day, it's like,

850
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: I don't even remember.

851
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 3: Where I was.

852
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you remember that feeling. Understand that that's going to

853
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: happen in your job. That's like, you know sometimes, but

854
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 1: you just made an excuse.

855
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 2: For being a bitch.

856
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 5: Though you sure did. You didn't make it's a it's

857
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 5: a reason. I just there can be a reason. No, no,

858
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 5: it could be a reason though not an excuse.

859
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 2: There can't be a reason.

860
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 3: No, I'm sorry I used us.

861
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 5: I used the wrong word. I should have said if

862
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 5: there is a reason, and you know you had a reason,

863
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 5: and sometimes other bitches have so maybe sometimes you could

864
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,800
Speaker 5: just you know, agent, can you finish this sentence in

865
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 5: that real literate.

866
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: Way you do it? Go ahead, girl, stop? No, you did.

867
00:45:58,640 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 3: You did the thing?

868
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: You bought it for circle, because that's what I was thinking.

869
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 1: I was like, but him, this is what we've been

870
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: saying from the beginning. It's like, yeah, the reason and

871
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: a lot of these reasons are the ways that we

872
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,760
Speaker 1: cannot take things personally.

873
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 5: And the person that you that person that you projected

874
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 5: that to, has no idea of your reasons. They just

875
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 5: know your Jill Scott, you your joy and love, they

876
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 5: love you, and this is the one in a lifetime

877
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 5: experience walk around on rose petals.

878
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go clean the toilets. This really was

879
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: a clear I'm a normal person and I have a

880
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: job that's highly stressful, and I still have to engage

881
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 1: with you, you know. And and it's very similar, even

882
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 1: though these people are not quote unquote public people. But

883
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: it's the same thing as being in a service job

884
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: when all you do all day is interact with other people,

885
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: and your job can be so like janky on the

886
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: background of it, but you still have to go, hello, hey,

887
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 1: how man, I help you? How are you doing? How

888
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: could I be a sir? See you today? Right in

889
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: a minute? That you know, and in the back they

890
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 1: could be paying you thirteen cents an hour, but.

891
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 5: You still need me to smile so you can be

892
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 5: so you can feel good about buying this product right

893
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 5: right right.

894
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you for women who are out there,

895
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: and I never forget this. During the pandemic, with the

896
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: early part of the pandemic, y'all remember that picture that

897
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: went viral of that woman who was working at Popeyes

898
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: and she was sitting outside on the bench and she

899
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 1: was looking exhausted, and it was just like this. It

900
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: started circulating kind of as a joke about people being

901
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: Oh no, it wasn't the pandemic. It was when people

902
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: was in line for that chicken. Yes, and shit was exhausted, right,

903
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: and people like laughed about it. But can you imagine,

904
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: like I said, the circumstances to which our fast food

905
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: we were.

906
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: Stealing them sandwiches.

907
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 3: People was doing everything.

908
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 5: You imagine the pressure, Oh you imagine being forty two oh.

909
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: At Popeys during the height.

910
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 2: Smile at the window chicken gate.

911
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: Oh, that's like the perfect metaphor, at the at the

912
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: height of the chicken gate. What nothing like that trying

913
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: to be pleasant or wanting to and just can't girl,

914
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 1: just just can't like because they started at nine this morning.

915
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 1: As soon as we stopped making.

916
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 3: It an open look in a lot, it's a lot of.

917
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: And y'all nasty. Ain't mad at me when we run out,

918
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: like I ordered the chicken.

919
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,319
Speaker 3: Come on, I think she got a reason, she got

920
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 3: a reason.

921
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 1: Just un lets I talk about who primarily holds some

922
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: of these service jobs. Hello, and who they are, what

923
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 1: they look like, what's their color, and what's their gender?

924
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: It is with it there you're gonna come.

925
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 3: In there fighting people because your sauce ain't right.

926
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 4: Girl.

927
00:48:54,320 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: It's a lot, it's a lot more conversation through the break.

928
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: So in terms of we had a discussion about our

929
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: discussion has been about kind of identifying, giving language to

930
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:24,880
Speaker 1: our experiences and you know, humanizing our bitch behavior to

931
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,279
Speaker 1: a degree, not excusing it, but humanizing it. Thank you.

932
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 1: But in order to kind of move forward and create

933
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: this culture of understanding, we also have to take some

934
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,399
Speaker 1: accountability to making ourselves feel better and doing the things

935
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 1: that we can do that not only make us feel

936
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: better but also improve our interactions with one another. So

937
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 1: that being in the spirit of such right, I'm going

938
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 1: to go back to this little list, which I'm not

939
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: going to take credit for. Amen, we give this credit

940
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 1: to Amber Amber who says, and it all comes back

941
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: to rest a couple of things. Doctors can help you

942
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: navigate your hormonal imbalances. So please talk to your doctor.

943
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid, you know, open up or if you

944
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: see a like a homeo not homeopathic, what is it

945
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: called a natural? That's not a doctor doctor, right, go

946
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 1: to talk to your person. Write whoever your healthcare specialists.

947
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: Is talk to them. Eat more foods that are high

948
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 1: in photo estrogens like flat seedy and to food and uh,

949
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: these can be consumed through natural food sources or supplement.

950
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: So you can do this in a supplement. So you

951
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 1: take your a pill if you're a pill person, if

952
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: you like to eat it, you know on something you

953
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: can do that. You got the black cohash, which I

954
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: don't even know nothing about it. I have to look

955
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: into that. Fore, you got macha, which I think that's

956
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: how you how you pronounce it, but it's.

957
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 2: Spelled m a c a machel root.

958
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 1: Something called vitext is that it? And of course I

959
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 1: favorite the Oshua goss. That's what I'm gonn name my daughter.

960
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 3: Sounds like I like it.

961
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:09,799
Speaker 1: I like, but you gotta say it like that, can

962
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 1: I guess? And last, but not least, we got the

963
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: red clover. A review of studies found that red clover

964
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 1: isoflavone okay supplements may help reduce the daily frequency of

965
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 1: hot flashes from a baseline of three per day. Now

966
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my little last one on here. Remember

967
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 1: that the hot flashes and some of these symptoms are

968
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: unique to the United States of America. Because of our

969
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 1: culture of creativity and our culture of stress, depression and

970
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: everything else. I can imagine that if we are intentional

971
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: about changing the way we move through the world and

972
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 1: not allowing those stresses to lead our lives, that we

973
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 1: might see some improvement in these kinds of things as well.

974
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 1: I want to refer back to one of our lovely

975
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 1: guests whom I love so very much, the Nap Bishop herself,

976
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:15,959
Speaker 1: who told us in so loving a way to set

977
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: your bitches down and take a nap, sist nap.

978
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 5: But don't at chocolate before you do it, because there

979
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,320
Speaker 5: are also foods that are let them to sweating, and

980
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 5: chocolate is one of them. I would just like you

981
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 5: to also dig into that and see the things that.

982
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 2: We eat the ad to sweat.

983
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 5: AND's last last tip is yams sweet yeas.

984
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 3: Okay, oh, I didn't realize. I just think in front

985
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 3: of y'all that just okay. I'm glad I did it

986
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 3: and didn't think about it.

987
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:54,480
Speaker 1: It was I don't have a tip because you ain't

988
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 1: got it. I don't. I don't have a tip, but

989
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 1: I just I just want to throw that out here

990
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 1: to try your best. If you're if you're feeling like

991
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: you're moving through the world in a in a way

992
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 1: that isn't positive. Pay attention to to where it's all

993
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 1: starting from. Pay attention and do some investigating. Honey, you know,

994
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 1: I mean, you gotta you gotta know, you gotta feel it,

995
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: you gotta see the energy around to change because because

996
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 1: because you on one, you know what I mean, take

997
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 1: a minute, You got to excuse yourself in any way,

998
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 1: like A just said, take a nap. Maybe try to

999
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 1: eat the right foods, have a little more water, you know,

1000
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you need to do, because don't

1001
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 1: nobody want to experience that. Nobody know, nobody wants, No,

1002
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: nobody really does. Okay, So whether it's me or anybody else,

1003
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to hold on, hold on the mind,

1004
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 1: the bitch on my outer bitch.

1005
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 5: Still, don't implod, don't implode, jail, don't implod never, okay never.

1006
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to j dot L

1007
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: the podcast. It is our pleasure to have conversations that

1008
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:06,399
Speaker 1: sparks conversation and action. Bless y'all.

1009
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,800
Speaker 3: How do you eat an elephant?

1010
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,439
Speaker 2: One by time?

1011
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:20,879
Speaker 6: Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here. I just want

1012
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 6: to reiterate that we are not doctors, so run any

1013
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 6: type of supplements or treatments by your care team, and

1014
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 6: if any of you can relate to Laya's journey with perimenopause,

1015
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 6: I hope you embrace this as your godd it's yours.

1016
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 6: I'll drop a link in the show notes to an

1017
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 6: article that gets deeper into that queen hormone and it

1018
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 6: kind of spiritualizes that transition that Aga mentioned earlier in

1019
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 6: the episode. Our bodies are so deeply intelligent and the

1020
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 6: shifts so beautifully designed by the creator, So don't let

1021
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 6: patriarchy and capitalism get you messed up. Embrace the queen

1022
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:03,400
Speaker 6: hormone and dive into you in any little ways that

1023
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 6: you can shift focus and take care of you and

1024
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 6: the little moments that you have. Again, if symptoms are

1025
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 6: heating up, there's a link in the show notes with

1026
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 6: all of the supplements that we talked about in this episode.

1027
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 6: Having a uterus, being a black woman or femme.

1028
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,439
Speaker 1: Shake gets complicated and layered.

1029
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:30,280
Speaker 6: For sure, But remember there is so much divine magic

1030
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 6: in every season, So do as Sweety does and tap

1031
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 6: tap tap in.

1032
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 1: Love you. Oh, and if you have.

1033
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 6: Anything to share about how you move through this season.

1034
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 6: Call us and leave a message at eight sixty six.

1035
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 6: Hey Jill, and share this episode with anybody that you

1036
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 6: know who is hitting that periment of pause age.

1037
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Hi yeah.

1038
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 3: Hi.

1039
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,840
Speaker 1: If you have comments on something we said in this

1040
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want

1041
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 1: to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four

1042
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,879
Speaker 1: three nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell

1043
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: us your name and the episode.

1044
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 3: You're referring to.

1045
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: You might just hear your message on a future episode.

1046
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 6: Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot L.

1047
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: Thepodcast Jay dot L is a production of iHeartRadio. For

1048
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

1049
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.