1
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,920
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

2
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 1: I'm Mela and it's Wednesday, bitches.

3
00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:28,240
Speaker 2: What is news?

4
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 1: How's everyone's Wednesday going? How's your Wednesday?

5
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,680
Speaker 2: It's going good. It's going good.

6
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,600
Speaker 3: It's hot ast fuck in the valley per the ninety

7
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,880
Speaker 3: five degree. It's like ninety eight. It's hot as fuck.

8
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,160
Speaker 3: I worked today. Work is picking up a bit.

9
00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,000
Speaker 2: Check out Mila's mobile spot. If you're in the LA

10
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,120
Speaker 2: area black owned business by me.

11
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,080
Speaker 3: I offer lashes and broad tattoo and broad I mean

12
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,400
Speaker 3: lash extensions and facials and waxing and the comfort of

13
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:55,920
Speaker 3: your own home.

14
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 2: So fuck COVID. You don't need to go to the salon. Hey, anyway,

15
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:00,840
Speaker 2: was your Wednesday?

16
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,679
Speaker 1: My Wednesday is good. I woke up early and I

17
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,959
Speaker 1: went for a walk and I got my coffee and

18
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,520
Speaker 1: I just feel better. I've been feeling so like I'm

19
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,200
Speaker 1: finally coming out of my like dark darkness of like pessive,

20
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 1: like not being an optimist at all about anything. If

21
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,240
Speaker 1: you listened to our episode last week, I was not

22
00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 1: very optimistic. I was very much like, I don't know

23
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,440
Speaker 1: how anything's gonna change. But this week I'm feeling that

24
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,760
Speaker 1: I'm feeling better because I feel like people are still

25
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,839
Speaker 1: in it. People are engaged, people are still engaged, and

26
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,480
Speaker 1: white people are still engaged. And after we had our

27
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 1: talk with Ray on Friday night and all these amazing

28
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,520
Speaker 1: moms that joined and it was so cool because we

29
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,720
Speaker 1: had this talk with Ray King, who Sean. She's Shawan

30
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,200
Speaker 1: King's wife and she's also a diversity educator and a mother,

31
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,840
Speaker 1: and you know, we asked her to come on, come

32
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,800
Speaker 1: on and do a virtual zoom with us and talk

33
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,960
Speaker 1: to like moms of all different races to kind of

34
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,560
Speaker 1: talk about how we're going to discuss race with our kids.

35
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,320
Speaker 1: And it was better than I have even expected. I

36
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,720
Speaker 1: learned so much. There was so much love and just

37
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,160
Speaker 1: like understanding in the room. There were so many white

38
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,840
Speaker 1: moms in the room, which I was really happy about.

39
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,200
Speaker 2: We like kind of marketed that way because.

40
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,359
Speaker 3: We felt like that was where we needed to start.

41
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 3: We were Last week was really a tough week. I mean,

42
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,760
Speaker 3: these last fucking six months have been extrawly tough, but

43
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 3: with that on top of it, it was really heavy

44
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,480
Speaker 3: on our hearts because we have kids and because it's

45
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,240
Speaker 3: like it's felt like nothing was really making progress and

46
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,240
Speaker 3: so we really put our brains together to figure out

47
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,280
Speaker 3: how can we contribute in this space and.

48
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,320
Speaker 2: How can we talk to our kids this way?

49
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,560
Speaker 3: And then you know, it dawned on us to talk

50
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,600
Speaker 3: to our black children about being black.

51
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:44,440
Speaker 2: We can't really make change unless we.

52
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,079
Speaker 3: Talk to other children who aren't black, and hopefully they're

53
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,320
Speaker 3: having the same conversations.

54
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,760
Speaker 2: So we brought Ray in. We had a wonderful, amazing

55
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,639
Speaker 2: therapist to join.

56
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 1: Us, doctor Bentley Gibson, which was like.

57
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,919
Speaker 3: A blessing, and she approached it from like a psychologic

58
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,880
Speaker 3: and research base, a research base view, and it really

59
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:03,960
Speaker 3: it really.

60
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:04,800
Speaker 2: Spoke to the room.

61
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,400
Speaker 3: And when we got off that call, when we got

62
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,080
Speaker 3: off that meeting, like I've had like my hairs on

63
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,840
Speaker 3: my arm were standing up because I felt like it

64
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,799
Speaker 3: was a safe space that people had like really gained insight.

65
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 3: Even I had, like gained insight on some of the

66
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,360
Speaker 3: ways I had been feeling and not realizing where that

67
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,240
Speaker 3: shit was stemming from. So it's just like this deep

68
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,399
Speaker 3: inner work that took place that was like inner work

69
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:31,320
Speaker 3: that actually is outerly helping one another and helping our kids.

70
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,959
Speaker 3: And if you didn't check it out, it's on our Patreon.

71
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,360
Speaker 2: It's up there still. It was fucking pretty amazing.

72
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 1: It was pretty Yeah, it was. It'll be on Patreon forever.

73
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 1: So if you guys have any have any moms out there,

74
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,640
Speaker 1: maybe even like if you have white mom friends that

75
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 1: like you, feel like really need to hear in a

76
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 1: in a very loving way and just an uncomfortable way too,

77
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,200
Speaker 1: how to have these conversations with your kids. And I

78
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 1: think one of the biggest takeaways I took from the

79
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 1: conversation is that there's no you need to start earlier

80
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 1: than anything we've seen this. We need to start talking

81
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:05,600
Speaker 1: about and race. And it's not even about in a

82
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,080
Speaker 1: negative way. It's about just including other people and races

83
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,160
Speaker 1: in the conversation, reading your white kid black books, you know,

84
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,160
Speaker 1: laying down Like Ray had this beautiful ending to the

85
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,200
Speaker 1: Whole Zoom where she talks about laying down your privilege.

86
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,760
Speaker 2: And people check it out.

87
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,280
Speaker 1: It really should check it out, and like how you

88
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,840
Speaker 1: lay down your privilege, both how white people can lay

89
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,960
Speaker 1: down their privilege or non black people can lay down

90
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,440
Speaker 1: their privilege. And her insight was just and it was

91
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: good for me to hear that too, because I have

92
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:37,120
Speaker 1: privileges as well, like we are afforded privileges, and it's like,

93
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 1: how do we lay down those privileges too, you know,

94
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 1: and in ways.

95
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 3: So also I thought it was really interesting because I

96
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,640
Speaker 3: mean not most of the moms were not black, and

97
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,720
Speaker 3: I noticed a lot of the moms who weren't black

98
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,520
Speaker 3: had black children, And so I think it was even

99
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,839
Speaker 3: more important for those moms to hear because maybe you know,

100
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,680
Speaker 3: you're partner who is black isn't giving you the same insight.

101
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,880
Speaker 2: Maybe you want to learn more.

102
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,360
Speaker 3: I feel like, if you're going to have a black child,

103
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,480
Speaker 3: these are conversations you absolutely have to have because inevitably

104
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,000
Speaker 3: race is going to come up in their lives and

105
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 3: like ignoring it and pretend like pretending like it doesn't exist.

106
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 2: It really doesn't.

107
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,000
Speaker 1: We're waiting for them to have a bad experience so

108
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: that you have to bring up race in a negative way.

109
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,680
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it in a positive way so that

110
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,760
Speaker 1: when negative shit comes at them they're like, yeah, nah,

111
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,240
Speaker 1: I don't subscribe to that.

112
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,880
Speaker 3: So we're definitely we're definitely going to keep doing these talks.

113
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 2: I really want to.

114
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 3: I want to continue and in this space of like

115
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,960
Speaker 3: the race, like you know, the racial space, because just

116
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,159
Speaker 3: because this this thing happened last you know, these last

117
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 3: couple of weeks. This is not the only thing that's

118
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 3: happened in the black community lately. These are not the

119
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 3: only tragedies. These are like, these conversations need to be ongoing.

120
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 3: And I don't know how we're going to build that, Erica,

121
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,480
Speaker 3: but I just think it needs to be something that

122
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,880
Speaker 3: is continuously touched on, like almost like a class, like

123
00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:01,200
Speaker 3: a workshop, like a certification, you know, because it's important.

124
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,480
Speaker 2: Shit, I think it's the root.

125
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I can't even I don't want to. I

126
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,240
Speaker 1: don't want We're not going to bring this episode and

127
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: be a down er, I promise you guys, But I

128
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,440
Speaker 1: just have to mention this one thing because it really

129
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:15,080
Speaker 1: put what what what role mothers play in a child's

130
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,320
Speaker 1: life and perspective. And when I didn't really I didn't

131
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,719
Speaker 1: under I didn't realize that George Floyd like was calling

132
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,280
Speaker 1: out for his mother when he was dying, you know

133
00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:28,120
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it just shows you the importance

134
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,240
Speaker 1: of motherhood in every person's life, Like that was the

135
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:37,839
Speaker 1: last person he wanted, he needed, that he wanted and like, ill, well,

136
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,239
Speaker 1: I feel like also so I was that the baby. Okay,

137
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:47,039
Speaker 1: I feel like it was just another reminder of the

138
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,520
Speaker 1: important role that mothers play in their children's life. Not

139
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,960
Speaker 1: in the fact that like his mother could have, you know,

140
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,680
Speaker 1: done anything to help the situation, but just like that,

141
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 1: that is like you, that's your protector.

142
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,480
Speaker 3: And not only that as mothers, when you give birth,

143
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,080
Speaker 3: like anyone who's given birth, I don't know, like that

144
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,320
Speaker 3: place that you go and your body and your head

145
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,960
Speaker 3: and your spirit like in labor, in child bearing, there

146
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,920
Speaker 3: is this crazy gift that we're given and this crazy

147
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,680
Speaker 3: like I can't imagine giving birth to a child and

148
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,520
Speaker 3: then even if I had previously been a racist, and

149
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,960
Speaker 3: then continuing on my racism after that. Because as a mother,

150
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,240
Speaker 3: any child, any person I see, I think of them

151
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,000
Speaker 3: as if they're my own child, whether you're old or young,

152
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,960
Speaker 3: or white or black, I can immediately get into mom mode,

153
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 3: into caring about a human being. So I just think,

154
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 3: and let's be real, like racism is taught, it's inherited,

155
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,000
Speaker 3: So these are definitely I think, Yeah, it starts with us. Shit,

156
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:48,120
Speaker 3: we're raising the people, we're leading the households, and these

157
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 3: conversations are super important.

158
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, But other than that, me and Jamila went on

159
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:55,920
Speaker 1: a camping trip or.

160
00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:01,720
Speaker 2: What we're gonna say, transitioning chart camping trip. And I

161
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:02,840
Speaker 2: know everybody has noticed.

162
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if I've said this before another another episode,

163
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,239
Speaker 3: but like it is, I want to say it again.

164
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 2: It is not by coincidence that any of these these uh.

165
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:20,120
Speaker 3: Things are happening without connection to one another. You know,

166
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,720
Speaker 3: like this has been a very strange year. In the

167
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,320
Speaker 3: first six months, you know, we had we had a death.

168
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,440
Speaker 3: Kobe died with his daughter in a helicopter.

169
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:28,880
Speaker 1: You know me.

170
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,920
Speaker 2: You know, as soon as the year started, COVID happened.

171
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:36,080
Speaker 3: We're all like quickly being put in the house. You know,

172
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,199
Speaker 3: school got shut down on Wednesdays. It hasn't been back since.

173
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,920
Speaker 3: Things have turned into like ghost towns overnight. We've the

174
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:47,559
Speaker 3: universe and whatever's happening and and the coordinates of space

175
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:52,080
Speaker 3: is really prompting us to to to accept shift and

176
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,880
Speaker 3: accept change, this this movement that's exploding all over the globe.

177
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 3: I know for a fact, in my personal life in December,

178
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,200
Speaker 3: shit shifted really like jolted me quickly, and it's continued

179
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,080
Speaker 3: to happen. Erica and I have both had some pretty

180
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,280
Speaker 3: significant changes outside of all the other shit going on,

181
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,040
Speaker 3: And I just I can't, I can't accredit it to

182
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:15,880
Speaker 3: any like just.

183
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:16,840
Speaker 2: It's just coincidence.

184
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 1: No, No, It's like there is a it feels a

185
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 1: revolutionary there so many ways, like there's something.

186
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,959
Speaker 2: Happen in a renaissance, a renaissance.

187
00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 1: Renaissance of such. It's definitely occurring. And I don't think,

188
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,679
Speaker 1: and I think, like, you know, like had like Van

189
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:40,800
Speaker 1: mentioned yesterday or last week on like that this situation

190
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,480
Speaker 1: and these situations that are happening period might not have

191
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:46,200
Speaker 1: gotten the attention that they've gotten had had we not

192
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,200
Speaker 1: been at home. So I do believe that like this

193
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,559
Speaker 1: pandemic or whatever you want to call it, has really

194
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 1: forced us to take really hard looks at ourselves and

195
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,440
Speaker 1: our society because we have nothing else to do. And

196
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,880
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for the time

197
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,560
Speaker 1: that I've been home. I'm grateful for the time that

198
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,200
Speaker 1: I've been able to, you know, spend with my daughter,

199
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,480
Speaker 1: even though it's been really fucking difficult, but it's also

200
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,840
Speaker 1: afforded me a better schedule with her dad, you know.

201
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,320
Speaker 1: And also you know, the changes that Jamila's mentioning is

202
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,240
Speaker 1: like you know, I've had a man walk into my

203
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,480
Speaker 1: life that maybe would have not walked into my life

204
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,040
Speaker 1: pre COVID. I would I probably wouldn't have even allowed it.

205
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,120
Speaker 1: I know I wouldn't have period. I know I wouldn't have.

206
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean insame.

207
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:37,079
Speaker 3: It's definitely same, like I had a man walking into

208
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 3: my life on HISNS.

209
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 1: Me and Jamila are the same person because that parallel live.

210
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,200
Speaker 2: We do, like our periods lift parallel period.

211
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,679
Speaker 1: I just ended mine, Okay, I just started.

212
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,360
Speaker 2: By see I told you so.

213
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,520
Speaker 3: It's crazy because I met this man like right before

214
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 3: we went to New York where I acted super crazy,

215
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,280
Speaker 3: and I probably would have forgotten about him up until

216
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,960
Speaker 3: like COVID happened, and he just hit me right at

217
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,880
Speaker 3: the right time and offered to you know, like take

218
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,679
Speaker 3: me on that mulhalland drive situation.

219
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,880
Speaker 2: And uh, he asked me the other night, had I

220
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,320
Speaker 2: met you like three years ago?

221
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,079
Speaker 1: Do you think three years ago?

222
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:17,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

223
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 3: Like he was just saying, and I had I met

224
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,600
Speaker 3: you in a different time, I was like, what would

225
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,680
Speaker 3: I have Would I have been able to recognize what

226
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,559
Speaker 3: a blessing you are?

227
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 2: Probably not? Honestly, probably not.

228
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,560
Speaker 3: Because even that first month I went on a date

229
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 3: with him, and it was cool, but like I was wiling,

230
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,600
Speaker 3: and then you know, then all these other things came

231
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,080
Speaker 3: all these other things came up and kind of put

232
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,240
Speaker 3: me on pause. And not only before this man like

233
00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,000
Speaker 3: came into my life for a second date, before I

234
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,560
Speaker 3: fucking fake fell in love.

235
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:53,320
Speaker 2: I was fuck, they just threw me up.

236
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,360
Speaker 1: My mom just walked in the house. Guys.

237
00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:01,160
Speaker 2: Sorry, I got nervous. I don't know why, oh I was.

238
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,040
Speaker 3: I had to take a hard look at myself, Like

239
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,720
Speaker 3: between my major sexting and my like hyper sexual lists,

240
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 3: I had to really take a look at myself and

241
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,439
Speaker 3: really dissect some shit. So I just feel like everything

242
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,520
Speaker 3: has happened in really perfect timing.

243
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:20,800
Speaker 1: Me too, I mean, I just I think for me obviously,

244
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,240
Speaker 1: I've had a range of emotions throughout this time. It

245
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:28,760
Speaker 1: has not been pretty a lot, and I'm still trying

246
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,400
Speaker 1: to balance everything in my life still, even though like

247
00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:36,920
Speaker 1: I am home more, I've realized, I've realized the imbalances

248
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 1: that are just here, regardless of if I'm moving one

249
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,880
Speaker 1: hundred miles per hour or I'm staying still.

250
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,160
Speaker 2: You know you still we still have the figure of figure.

251
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,960
Speaker 1: It's not I can't just not that just blame it

252
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,240
Speaker 1: on the fact that I'm always so busy, like there's

253
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,720
Speaker 1: some other shit happening, because I'm not always so busy

254
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,320
Speaker 1: right now, and I still feel.

255
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,560
Speaker 2: And you still like saying, am I am?

256
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 3: I am?

257
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,920
Speaker 2: I like putting my time in the right places.

258
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,000
Speaker 1: And so I mean, even my guy, like I think

259
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,199
Speaker 1: we talked, we me and to me both kind of

260
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,760
Speaker 1: like laid out how they how how it happened, and

261
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,000
Speaker 1: we both met both of our guys on on hinge.

262
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,400
Speaker 1: But I I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for him

263
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,600
Speaker 1: when he hit me up initially like a year ago,

264
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,440
Speaker 1: and that's why I dodged him the fuck out of him.

265
00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,560
Speaker 1: And really, honestly, the only reason I probably gave him

266
00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,040
Speaker 1: a chance this go around is because I was bored.

267
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,559
Speaker 1: I was bored, and I was like, fuck it. You

268
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,280
Speaker 1: know what I told him last night too. I was like,

269
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,480
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what's so funny about this

270
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,120
Speaker 1: is that, like, Jamila, is really the reason that I

271
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,000
Speaker 1: gave you a chance. And he was like, what do

272
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,480
Speaker 1: you mean? And I was like, you know, I had

273
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,920
Speaker 1: been feeling really not optimistic about virtual dating, and I

274
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,600
Speaker 1: told him that I was not feeling optim to virtual dating,

275
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,320
Speaker 1: like that call when we had We're on the phone

276
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,040
Speaker 1: with when we had that interview with Jamila, I was

277
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,920
Speaker 1: like I told interview, I was like, this is quite shit.

278
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 1: And when when he called me, I was in the

279
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:07,560
Speaker 1: corner talking not interested, kind of like zoning off, like Erica,

280
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,960
Speaker 1: come in here, and then started asking him questions, like

281
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,760
Speaker 1: real good questions, and then I was like, oh, okay,

282
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 1: well maybe maybe there is something to you. Maybe Okay,

283
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,480
Speaker 1: let's go back in here and have this conversation. So,

284
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm grateful for so, I'm grateful for the time.

285
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:27,760
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you, I'm grateful for him. And it's

286
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 1: been interesting to spend a lot of time with somebody

287
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 1: new because I'm not used to that. And also I've

288
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:40,040
Speaker 1: realized that I have really within my singleness in the

289
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:45,000
Speaker 1: last three years, I like really unprogrammed myself out of

290
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,720
Speaker 1: a relation relationship mode, because now that I'm in one,

291
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 1: I don't like I have to relearn shit, I'm relearning

292
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 1: things where I'm like, why, like what I have to

293
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 1: fucking consider your feelings? Wait? Because we like, I like,

294
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 1: he got upset with me about something that like was

295
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 1: really was my fault, and I immediately got irritated with him,

296
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,640
Speaker 1: and I just I almost was like I really was

297
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 1: about to be like, well, fuck this. I don't want

298
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,840
Speaker 1: to I don't wanna, we don't have to do this.

299
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,640
Speaker 1: Then then I was like, why am I doing that?

300
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 1: This is not that serious. It's just easier to say

301
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:15,360
Speaker 1: fuck this.

302
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,840
Speaker 2: I am a fucking type of goal. I have fuck

303
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,960
Speaker 2: this type of goal. Like what did you say?

304
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 3: Do you know how many other hoes I have? That's

305
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,840
Speaker 3: me all day? So I get that, you know. I

306
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:36,440
Speaker 3: feel like, because we've been in really we've okay, let

307
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 3: me speak for myself. Because I've been in really fucked

308
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 3: up relationships, I have programmed myself to be like fuck

309
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 3: these niggas, and like even the good niggas, I'll be like, oh,

310
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 3: you're my good friend, and that's cool, you know, like

311
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:54,640
Speaker 3: that's enough, because it's too costly to invest my feelings

312
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 3: into someone. Because I've learned the hard way that generally

313
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to say what I want to say,

314
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 3: but you know what I'm trying to say, niggas ain't shit.

315
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 2: I know we said we were going to say that anymore.

316
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,080
Speaker 2: In twenty twenty, I think.

317
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 3: But I feel myself every like first of all this

318
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 3: first of all, I realized this man that I've met

319
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,880
Speaker 3: is fucking amazing, and I'm obviously been I don't know

320
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 3: what standard or level I've been accepting niggas before now,

321
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 3: but like, whoa, I.

322
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,320
Speaker 2: Was love minimal, damn minimal.

323
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 3: I'm like I told my friend told Dennil, I'm like, honestly,

324
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna safe to say I was a basic bitch

325
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 3: because these basic caring things that this man is giving

326
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,640
Speaker 3: me are so phenomenal to me.

327
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, what you ordered me a breakfast Brino and

328
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 2: you said it to my house?

329
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,240
Speaker 3: Such simple shit, you know, like just the gentle care

330
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,040
Speaker 3: of someone just fucking caring, you know, like he made

331
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 3: me breakfast at his house one of the first couple

332
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 3: of nights I spent. The night, I was like so nice,

333
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 3: you know, just very sweet gentle men, like you know,

334
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:08,560
Speaker 3: communication and and like deeds of care and love. And

335
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 3: it's just dawned on me how fucked up I am

336
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 3: and how and even like the littlest things pop up

337
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,880
Speaker 3: and I'm like immediately in defense mode, like how can

338
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 3: I cut these feelings off? That is my go to

339
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,199
Speaker 3: How can I cut these fucking feelings off? Because this

340
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 3: is liability in my life?

341
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 1: Well mine is always like, oh my god, did I

342
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,160
Speaker 1: am I making the wrong choice? Am I making wrong choice?

343
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,159
Speaker 1: Or like is this a red flag? Is this a

344
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 1: red flag?

345
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,040
Speaker 2: Am I getting too excited too soon?

346
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,639
Speaker 1: Is am I getting too excited too soon? Is this

347
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 1: a red flag? Is this gonna pop up later on?

348
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 1: Is this something that's gonna be a problem?

349
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,159
Speaker 2: Like and then there's going to be okay. This is

350
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:43,479
Speaker 2: another thing.

351
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 3: There's going to be red flags, there's going to be nothing,

352
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:47,720
Speaker 3: it's gonna be perfect.

353
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 2: And that's another thing I've been telling myself.

354
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 3: With all of this and all my my wanting to flee,

355
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 3: I had to ask myself, Okay, well, Jamella, do you

356
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 3: really want a boyfriend? Do you want to be I'm

357
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,679
Speaker 3: asking myself like do you do you want a boyfriend?

358
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,120
Speaker 3: Or do you want to like be live a single

359
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 3: life forever? And I think that's another thing, meaning KA

360
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 3: have come so far from those old relationships and we've

361
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,719
Speaker 3: kind of thrived in our single theom.

362
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,719
Speaker 2: Despite popular don't believe.

363
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 1: There's been ups and downs, but like we've been like

364
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,479
Speaker 1: floating navigating through it.

365
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:20,120
Speaker 2: And I think and empowering each other.

366
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 1: And yeah, we've had times where we have episodes where

367
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,800
Speaker 1: like we're ready to be wives, and then we have

368
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 1: episodes where it's like men are still hoes, you know,

369
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 1: and it's like, I think we've just been riding a

370
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 1: wave of trying to figure out what it is that

371
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,280
Speaker 1: we actually want. And for me, like, what was really

372
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 1: telling about my situation with him and poetry Bay.

373
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 2: As we call him, is that what is his name is?

374
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 1: It's so funny. Someone DMed him and said, are you

375
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 1: adventure Bay?

376
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 2: Oh?

377
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,639
Speaker 1: Someone DMed him and said that, and then he wrote

378
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,120
Speaker 1: I think I'm poetry Bay and he and whoever wrote

379
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: back was like, oh, that's right, yeah, regardless, Erica deserves

380
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,439
Speaker 1: love and like I'm happy for you guys. And I

381
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 1: was like, first of all, I was like, wow, whoever

382
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 1: that was, if you're listening right now, fuck, like thank you,

383
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 1: Like that's so sweet of you that you care. And

384
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 1: second of all, like it's also fucking away. I'm scared

385
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,960
Speaker 1: for some maybe like I'm not, I mean whatever, So

386
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 1: I think, like, I what was that going on? I

387
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: was about to say something fuck fuck fuck, but I

388
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 1: was going on. Of course, though we've realized, Oh okay,

389
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: what I've realized I was gonna say, is that what

390
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 1: me and Jamila have realized in general, and that it

391
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 1: continues to shock us, which at this point should not anymore,

392
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: but it does still is that manifestation is a real

393
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,440
Speaker 1: fucking thing. And like, obviously we know this, Obviously you've

394
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 1: talked about it. Obviously you guys probably know this too

395
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,119
Speaker 1: in your own personal life, but when you get like

396
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 1: confirmation of it, it still is like whoa. And for me,

397
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 1: like I went back and looked like maybe like a

398
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 1: nine eight or nine months ago, I don't know when

399
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 1: the episode was that we talked about manifesting our man

400
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: and like writing it down, writing a really like really

401
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 1: detailed list, and I remember, like I even said that

402
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: I talked to my mom about it, and she had

403
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: said that, like, don't be modest on that list. Write

404
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,880
Speaker 1: everything down, even the most shallow shit that you don't.

405
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 1: You'd be embarrassed for someone to see write that shit down.

406
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,080
Speaker 2: And she was right, she was right.

407
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 1: And I looked at that list a few days ago

408
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 1: and I manifested my nan like for real, no, that

409
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: is now, like, of course, time will tell how good

410
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: your list was. Well, how good my list was, but

411
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 1: also to what spectrum he falls on every item on

412
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: that list, how much of each thing he is, and

413
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 1: how important each of those things is to me. But

414
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 1: I would say that, like, if you're listening right now

415
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 1: and you're single, and you're like at your wits end

416
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: with it, and you're like feeling because I was feeling

417
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 1: that way up until maybe like a month and a

418
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 1: half ago, write that shit down, like write it really,

419
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: just go after you listen to this episode tonight, like

420
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: or tomorrow, write everything down. And that's just not just

421
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 1: for man make a man list, but then also make

422
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 1: a list of other things because obviously, like we're not

423
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: here to just fucking find them in Find a Man.

424
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, like me and Jamial has manifested

425
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,879
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, you know, in our in our

426
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 1: own work and business and lives and things like that.

427
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 1: But I just thought it was really interesting because I

428
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: think we talk about relationships so much constantly that that's

429
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 1: the thing that really popped up quickly for me.

430
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 3: It pop up quickly, it pop up specifically, and then

431
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,119
Speaker 3: it's just the timing is rather odd. I'm like to

432
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 3: be right at the same time and now we did.

433
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,360
Speaker 3: It's like a ninety day we did write it. That's

434
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 3: why it's scared. What is the time period on this turnaround?

435
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 3: Because it's so I'm like.

436
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 2: You're falling. I love me too.

437
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:08,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally totally interesting, magic happening.

438
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I told you Meil the other day that

439
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 1: I was like, so I have a boyfriend.

440
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 2: I don't let me be let the record show I do.

441
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 1: Guys, I have a boyfriend. And it wasn't like a

442
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: big conversation like you're my boyfriend now. In fact, I

443
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 1: asked him, are you my boyfriend? He said, I don't

444
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: know what that means, and and I don't know, like

445
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I'm psycho.

446
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 2: But I just wanted to see what.

447
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 1: I wanted to see what he was gonna say. And

448
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 1: I loved that reaction. I loved his response because that's

449
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: a good response.

450
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 2: He said, what I don't know.

451
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't I don't know what that means.

452
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: He was like, he's like, I'm not going anywhere. I'm

453
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: here with you. I want to be with you. I'm

454
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: committing to you. And that's it, you know, as far

455
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: as like the dynamic of our like the nuances of

456
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: our relationship. We all know, like I don't really believe

457
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 1: in monogamy in that way, And I say, that's a

458
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 1: conversation that we've had, and I'm interested to see, you know,

459
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: how that plays out in our relationship. Obviously, right now,

460
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,719
Speaker 1: I have no interest in being with anybody else. I'm

461
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: hyper focused and that's kind of how I am in

462
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: relationships anyway. But I know, long term, who knows what

463
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 1: could happen and what my interests might be or what

464
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: his might be.

465
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 2: You know, it's so crazy because.

466
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 3: Like being like someone's I'm just so not used to

467
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 3: being in healthy relationships that like I rarely and I've

468
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 3: told this, I've told them this guy that I don't

469
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 3: I haven't had a lot of relationships because.

470
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 2: I'm not the girl to bring that shit up.

471
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: I will not. We could bring what shit up?

472
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 2: What are we doing here? Oh I'm not that girl?

473
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 2: You could? We could be casually dating for years.

474
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 3: I'm never going to be like, what's happening here because

475
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,719
Speaker 3: it's not been my thing. But then it's like, but

476
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 3: then a part of me is like, damn, why, Like

477
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 3: is there something wrong with that? I haven't like had

478
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 3: a lot of relationships or the guys that I've become

479
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 3: close with don't want to make me their girlfriend, you know.

480
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 3: But like I realized, it's a lot of the fear

481
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 3: that I have. And like, even after the second time

482
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 3: me and him hung out, the next morning, I literally

483
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 3: called him and was like, She's like, oh my god,

484
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 3: you're really into him. I'm like, yeah, he's going to

485
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 3: be my boyfriend. I was like, there's no question about it.

486
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 3: He is going to be my boyfriend, which sounds so psycho,

487
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 3: but like I'm just not in a rush for that

488
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 3: because that sounds really scary. And then it makes me

489
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 3: feel like like I I'm on lockdown and that scares me.

490
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: But that's the thing about it is I don't feel

491
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: like I'm on lockdown. That's the thing about it. I

492
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm on lockdown. It all feels so

493
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: natural and like it's just like an easy progression into

494
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: my life. It doesn't feel like and when I asked him,

495
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't like what are we doing? It was more

496
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 1: so we're joking around. We share our feelings with each

497
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: other constantly. Like and that's the thing too, that's so

498
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: different is like he is, like I know, he is

499
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: a communicater. You know, I thought I was communicator. I

500
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 1: realize I'm not. Really, I'm not that good of community.

501
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: I am communicating communicative, but like he's next level and

502
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,719
Speaker 1: I appreciate that, like I do. But that's why, Like

503
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 1: the conversation was more like what are what are you?

504
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: Like my boyfriend? Now? Like what is this? You know?

505
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: It wasn't like, so let's have the talk.

506
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 2: It's so it's so crazy because I don't want that

507
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 2: talk at all.

508
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 3: But then on the same on the same token, so

509
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 3: my yeah, adventure Bay got out of relationship not that

510
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 3: long ago with some other chick, and you know, at first,

511
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 3: I was just like he told me all of this stuff,

512
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 3: and I was like I went right in one everyone

513
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 3: out the other because it's all about me.

514
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: Now, I don't give a fuck were you talking about?

515
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 2: It's about me?

516
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 3: And that was fine, but then recently his ex popped

517
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 3: up at his house while I was there, and I

518
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: was pissed, and I'm like, in my head while I

519
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 3: was leaving, I'm like, why are you so mad?

520
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 2: Like it's not his fault, it's not anybody's fault.

521
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 3: You know, he just got out of this relationship, and

522
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, because she said, why can't

523
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 3: I come in as somebody?

524
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 2: There is some you have company? And he was like,

525
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 2: that's not the point.

526
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 3: That shit pissed me off. I was like, well, why

527
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 3: can't you just tell her you had company? He's like,

528
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 3: I didn't think it was her business. And then I'm like, Okay,

529
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 3: how I'm feeling makes no sense. I want you to

530
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 3: claim me to your ex low key kind of.

531
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 2: But also I don't.

532
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 3: Want a relationship, and that's never a conversation that I

533
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 3: would bring in.

534
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,239
Speaker 1: Well, I don't think that that's true. I don't think

535
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: the second part is true. I don't think you don't

536
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 1: want a relationship.

537
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 2: I know I do.

538
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: I do eventually want a relationship. I don't think you're

539
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: spending time with him to not have a relationship.

540
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 3: No, absolutely not. In fact, we're talking very like about

541
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 3: very serious things. But like that scared me. It scared

542
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 3: me that I'm becoming connected to you and I'm becoming

543
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 3: like attached to you somewhat, and then like this other

544
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 3: person threatens could threaten in my mind, my crazy cycle mind,

545
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 3: Like you know you have history of this person, she's

546
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: still popping up, you know what the fuck? Yeah, claim me,

547
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 3: but I it's just it goes to show that there's

548
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 3: a lot of things that I have to dress within

549
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 3: myself about what I want and how that looks, and

550
00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 3: like speaking up or not speaking up or what that

551
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 3: means to me, because to me, I didn't for a

552
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 3: long time, I wasn't saying things about certain things because

553
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 3: I didn't want to feel like naggy or jealous because

554
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 3: to me, that seems like weak.

555
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: But that's not it at all. It's just being an

556
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 2: adult about shit.

557
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 3: Like we're dating, we're seeing each other, we're talking all

558
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 3: these very serious conversations.

559
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,959
Speaker 2: Okay, so what the fuck is up with that? You know?

560
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 3: But that's totally normal, but it's taking practice for me

561
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 3: to figure that out.

562
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 1: Should we pause? Be sure?

563
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: Okay, Jessica's here and.

564
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,479
Speaker 1: Jessica rows just came in. We're gonna take five seconds.

565
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. Sorry, Okay, so we're back. Sorry

566
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: about that. Our homegirl, Jessica Rowes stop by, and we

567
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: had to make a TikTok because that's really important these days.

568
00:27:58,920 --> 00:27:59,959
Speaker 2: Then I had to make dinner.

569
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: You haven't followed us on TikTok. Make sure that you

570
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: do good. Mom's bad choices on TikTok. We're also on

571
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 1: Triller Yeah, Triller Yeah. If you checked out our music

572
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 1: video because we're video hos now you might have seen

573
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: our orange soda shoddy video booty pop.

574
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 3: Totally necessary that if you're in the desert camping that

575
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 3: you find time to make a music video.

576
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: Absolutely dah or else?

577
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 2: What the fuck is the point?

578
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 1: Honestly, we're even there?

579
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: Did you even god even going? I don't think so.

580
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 2: So what were we talking about? Boyfriends?

581
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: Oh?

582
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just saying that you have a boyfriend.

583
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 3: I don't you know?

584
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend. And honestly, can I tell you

585
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: like when I I've like, I first of all, I

586
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: really have this dilemma where I thought to myself, Oh no,

587
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: I have to be single forever, right, I have a

588
00:28:55,760 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: single mom podcast. I'm supposed to be single. Like is

589
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: this going to ruin my It's going to ruin my content?

590
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 2: I mean I did, I can't. I do have those feelings.

591
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 3: And he even said it to me, like are you

592
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 3: ready to settle down and like or something like that,

593
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 3: and I I had.

594
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 2: To think hard.

595
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 3: And you know, one good thing about like having a

596
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: partner or not a partner, a friend who enjoys the.

597
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: Same things you do. Is that, you know, like on

598
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 2: mushrooms or Molly, you can't really lie. So I was like, I.

599
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: Don't know, I don't know if I don't know I

600
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 3: had a lesbian threesome like four weeks ago.

601
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm.

602
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: Ready to give that type of thing up. And you know,

603
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: so nice of this guy. He said, you don't necessarily

604
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 3: have to give that up, And I said, oh, wow,

605
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 3: maybe I'm in love, but there is I don't like

606
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 3: to be told what to do, and I.

607
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 2: Don't like an infringement on my freedom.

608
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 3: But if you like make it as though it's like

609
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 3: it was my idea, then I'm fine with it. Like

610
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 3: I love you, I'm pulling everybody where together already talking

611
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 3: about but don't tell me.

612
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 1: Also during this little break, you guys, a lot happened

613
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: in the last few hours between the beginning of recording

614
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: this episode two. Now it's nighttime. It's obviously it's now nighttime.

615
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: We started recording this during the day. We hadn't seen

616
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: our girl in a minute, so we had to catch up.

617
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: And then my baby daddy came over and yeah, to

618
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: see his kid and then I thought this would be well,

619
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: I didn't think this actually, Jessica said, you haven't told

620
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,719
Speaker 1: him that, like you're dating someone, and that you know

621
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 1: you might be having your child around this person. And

622
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: also I'm going on a trip this weekend with some

623
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: friends and I'm taking my daughter with me with him, which,

624
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: if you guys have heard me on the podcast, this

625
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: is totally out of my character and out of a

626
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: pretty much everything I've ever stanced to my ideas of

627
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: when you're supposed to introduce a child to someone and

628
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: not when. But like I mean, obviously when I've introduced

629
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: Iri too very casual. I was like, you know what,

630
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: You're right, I probably should tell him that I'm going

631
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: on a trip with our daughter with this person that

632
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: I'm seeing, because if it was the other way around,

633
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: I'd be really annoyed, especially since I'm the one that

634
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: kind of like laid the ground rules for like how

635
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: this is supposed to go if we ever started dating someone.

636
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: So heard Jamila and Jessica's encouragement, I went outside a

637
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: little while ago and told him that I'm seeing someone,

638
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: and I was really, really fucking nervous. This is the

639
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: first time I've ever like had this conversation with him.

640
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: I didn't know how it was going to go. I mean,

641
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: I figured that it would I figured that it would

642
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: be fine, I think because I know, like he has

643
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: a big ego, and he'd never like give me the

644
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: satisfaction of like, I don't know, not satisfying. It wouldn't

645
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: be satisfaction because that actually would not be satisfactory for

646
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: me at all, but wouldn't never like show me that

647
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: it hurts him. So it actually went really well, and

648
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: we were very mature and adult about it, and hopefully,

649
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: I don't know, in the future, he'll feel comfortable coming

650
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: to me and talking to me about, you know, the

651
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,239
Speaker 1: people that he has our daughter around, because inevitably that's

652
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 1: really what's important to me. It's not about like who

653
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,239
Speaker 1: are you dating at this point anymore. It's like, really like, okay, well,

654
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: who are you having around my kid? Like if anything,

655
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: if anything were to happen, like I want to know,

656
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: like it's not just like I've never heard this name before.

657
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: You know, obviously I have no control and neither does

658
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: he about of who the fuck I'm gonna be dating.

659
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: Even if he did have a problem with the person

660
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: I'm dating, Am I gonna stop dating them because he

661
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: has a problem with him? Probably not and vice versa.

662
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: Hell no, So I don't know. I feel like I

663
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: feel good about it. I feel like I've popped my

664
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: cherry and that now moving forward, whether it's with this

665
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: person that I'm with or someone else, it doesn't have

666
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: to be this big scary thing to talk about obviously,

667
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: like we're moving forward. And that's what he said to me.

668
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: He was like, I realize that you have to move

669
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: on with your life, and I want you to be happy,

670
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: and I trust that you know. I trust your I

671
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: trust your judgment. I trust that you're not going to

672
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: have anything anyone crazy around my kid, and that's cool,

673
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: have a good trip.

674
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 3: Which is amazing because I don't feel like I would

675
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 3: have the same response.

676
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean your just this situation is a little

677
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: bit different.

678
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: In different ways, you know, different people, but yeah, you can.

679
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, that's you only hope that the other

680
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 3: person will be civil, immature and not try to hurt you.

681
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: Because of it. And I mean, at the nay, there's

682
00:33:59,520 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: really nothing that.

683
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: Do and that's really what I then that's part of

684
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: the reason why I really Jessica was right. I was like,

685
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: you know what, She's right, I do have to do

686
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 1: this because I don't want him to find out in

687
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: any other form and then and then use it maliciously

688
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: against me or not feel like he has to be

689
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,919
Speaker 1: respectful of my you know, my role as IRA's parent

690
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: and wanting to know what's going on when she's with him,

691
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: because I've been honest. So yeah, it's it's I guess,

692
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: a step in our relationship, I mean, my baby daddy's

693
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: relationship for the better, and a step in this relationship

694
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: with this new person in my life.

695
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 2: So I think that.

696
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 3: There's it's always this is a weird topic because okay,

697
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 3: both of our kids are five, and that's the point where.

698
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: They really really really.

699
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 3: Start comprehending every thing and being all in your business

700
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 3: and repeating every fucking thing and like knowing the contacts

701
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 3: of conversations and the energy and so.

702
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is an important part.

703
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 3: And also because this is not Erica's and I's general

704
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 3: m O to like find it a hinge bay and

705
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: then like dive in deep to it and then be

706
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 3: like we go together. That's not generally our forte in

707
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 3: like a four to.

708
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: Eight week period, So that's New territory.

709
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 3: But because at first we're like, yeah, we're gonna totally

710
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 3: like I'm gonna like it has to be like six

711
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 3: months before the kids meet them, Like this is ridiculous,

712
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: Like I mean, we're gonna just really take it slow

713
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 3: in that aspect because we need to make sure. And

714
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 3: then you know, lo and behold, I took Lutner around

715
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,320
Speaker 3: my friend and Erica. You know, we didn't even discuss

716
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 3: it with each other, just happened in the same time period.

717
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 3: And my guy like doesn't have kids, so I didn't

718
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: have a discussion with him before, except he knew that

719
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 3: he was meeting here. Like the first time is very

720
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 3: casual amongst other people quickly, and the second time we

721
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 3: all went to the park, but he kissed me, and

722
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 3: I was like, oh shit, I should have told him first,

723
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: like he didn't know the rules. But for me, I'm like, damn,

724
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 3: like my kid has not really seen me, like you know,

725
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: maybe when she was younger, like three with my young bay,

726
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 3: but like I don't now she really comprehends. And so

727
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 3: I was like, fuck, she's gonna tell And not that

728
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 3: it matters because I'm a grown ass woman and obviously

729
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 3: I'm dating, but like, you know, I don't want her

730
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 3: to just be like weird about seeing her mom kiss

731
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 3: somebody or be affectionate with someone.

732
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 2: But she seemed totally unfazed.

733
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 3: But yeah, there's just like all this new territory that

734
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 3: we're entering and then things that we are doing differently

735
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 3: than we thought we would do, right because we're still vaginas,

736
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 3: fucking vaginas. But yeah, I'm just my god, these classes,

737
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 3: I'm not I think we're both still not trying to

738
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 3: brush anything too quickly.

739
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: You put them behind your ear, like the shed lose.

740
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 2: I need to tighten them.

741
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: Oh okay, uh that would You said, what was lost?

742
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 2: And he said, we're too what we're in new territory.

743
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 2: We're both trying to figure it out.

744
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

745
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, not rush it, but you're in

746
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 2: it to win it.

747
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I know he met my mom a

748
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: few days ago and like my my brother won on

749
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: a bike ride. Oh yeah, I forgot my stepfather. He

750
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: has not met my dad yet, and now my baby

751
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: daddy knows everyone fucking knows.

752
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 3: I intwined right.

753
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: Like, and I we got me and Jamila. We're at

754
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 1: the so we're camping, right we went camping, and well,

755
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: I don't know if I didn't really go camping. I

756
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,760
Speaker 1: slept in my car, but everyone else camping, we camped,

757
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: just camping, and we were sitting around the fire or

758
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: what were sitting around fire, and like Jamila had taken

759
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 1: some pictures of me and him because I was like,

760
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 1: we don't have any pictures together, to take pictures of the ass.

761
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 1: And then so I was like about to post one

762
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: of my stories and she was like, are you put

763
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: that to close friends or regular? And I was like regular,

764
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,919
Speaker 1: Oh my god, regular, Oh my god.

765
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 3: So this is like, this is life we live.

766
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 2: This is a millennial first world, first.

767
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: World issues, Like you post that picture to close friends

768
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 1: and it's a fesha, like to regular if it wasn't

769
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: a regular, like it'sial it fos with those friends, like

770
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: you're still still secretly I also she.

771
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 2: Also took it upon herself to post my ship.

772
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: But I.

773
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 3: Don't understand how I got pulled into her public love

774
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 3: and not when.

775
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 2: She decided to secretly videotape me an adventure bate.

776
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 3: She decided to add in there, oh look what you

777
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 3: do when you're in love, And I'm like, what the

778
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 3: fuck is wrong with you? And then I addressed it,

779
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 3: and the next day she continues.

780
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 2: To post it. Then the bitch adds an act.

781
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,919
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't it was something I said

782
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 3: clear and she said, I'm gonna take you down with me.

783
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 2: We're in this boat together. Due du I'm good. I'm

784
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: I'm closing posting a regular. So are you.

785
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 3: But I even told even I have told adventure b

786
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't understand. I don't understand how I

787
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,959
Speaker 3: got pulled into this, Like I don't need my hose,

788
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:17,760
Speaker 3: not on my business.

789
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously I was joking.

790
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 3: I've literally given up all my hose because I'm in

791
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 3: fake love.

792
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 2: But thanks a lot, Fran you welcome.

793
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: They just figured, you know, I just get that engine

794
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: started for Yeah, I deleted it.

795
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 2: You deleted which one?

796
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 1: The one where I talked everybody?

797
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't repost it anyway. I tried to repost

798
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 2: it post.

799
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: I felt like, okay, maybe I'm doing too much. But

800
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: I were on my phone.

801
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,720
Speaker 2: They looked they were just cute photos.

802
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 1: It was like a green It was like a couple

803
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: of photo of all of all four of us, like

804
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 1: on our like you know.

805
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: I mean Honestly, I don't give a fuck about that ship.

806
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna truth is I'm a cancer. I'm all about

807
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 2: p DA.

808
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 3: If Nigga gives me the green light, we're getting We're

809
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 3: posting all over the internet.

810
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 2: Don't give me the green line. If I'm posting hands

811
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 2: and kissing.

812
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: You should see my fucking uh my photo album. Honestly,

813
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 3: you would think we've been We've been together for eight months.

814
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 2: Adventures, so many love photos.

815
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: You guys have done a lot of adventures. He really

816
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 1: is adventure bar.

817
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 2: We've been on like four trips in two months.

818
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: That's insane. But anyway, all that to say is that

819
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: I think quarantine and COVID and all the shit that's happening,

820
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's like given people space to connect

821
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: in a different way that I previously did not see.

822
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: I did not see it that way. I did not.

823
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: I just felt like everything felt disconnected and it may

824
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: be still maybe there. There probably is, and this just

825
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 1: was happening personally in my life where I'm starting to

826
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: feel like, okay, maybe there is it. Like I feel

827
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,919
Speaker 1: I do feel more connected to people. People are listening better,

828
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 1: people are at home, people are having deeper conversations, and

829
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 1: I think all the things that are happening are really

830
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: pushing forward that even more so, you know, having you know,

831
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 1: even like like like we talked about the top, like

832
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: talking you know, with Ray on Friday, with all these

833
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: moms and and just I don't know, like even today,

834
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 1: like one of my girlfriends called me and like we

835
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: have like probably the deepest conversation we've had we've had

836
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 1: in a long time about our kids and where we're at,

837
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 1: you know, what's happening and how we can help, and

838
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:33,359
Speaker 1: like how she is realizing like the subtle racisms that

839
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: she has has have been around her and that found

840
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 1: that now she's really hyper sensitive to. And I just

841
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 1: feel like people are just listening and feeling more right now.

842
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 1: So I'm grateful. I'm grateful to I'm grateful for everything.

843
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 1: I'm really interested to see how all this plays out.

844
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 3: I know when we were camping, I mean Erica were

845
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 3: like on one fucking Mars Mountain.

846
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, they're on another.

847
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 3: And they're like taking figures of this because we're Instagram girlfriends,

848
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, we're so lucky, and Eric is like,

849
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 3: I hope they'd never forget and I was like what.

850
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 2: I was like, you put it on. I was like,

851
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 2: you put it on social media? What if it doesn't

852
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,240
Speaker 2: work out? And she's like, who cares?

853
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 3: It's like true, But you know what I noticed too,

854
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 3: And this is gonna sound like I'm twelve and maybe

855
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 3: I haven't before now, But like I told Danielle, I

856
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 3: was like, this relationship is so different, this non relationship

857
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 3: relationship that I'm in is so different, because.

858
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'll we do us talk.

859
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 3: I was like, alone, there's nobody else there to talk

860
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 3: with us. We're just spending days and days and days

861
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 3: together just talking. I'm like, there's no bar. I can't

862
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 3: spin off. I can't take a shot and spin off

863
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 3: to the next neighbor and talk shit to them. I

864
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 3: can't spin off and go dance on the dance floor

865
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 3: before bitches. You know, these are my regular.

866
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 2: Things, being in a bar, being active, being.

867
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 3: In a social crowd. Like there's really no distractions. So

868
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 3: I'm like, damn, I'm so mature. I'm getting to know

869
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 3: this guy in such an adult man. We're spending so

870
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 3: much one on one time together, you know, taking road

871
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 3: trips together, going up you know, hiking together and there's

872
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: just like all these time to get to learn each other,

873
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 3: and I am, I'm really grateful for it, and you're right,

874
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 3: there's like this is the most time for conversation. And

875
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 3: I think really conversation is what makes change, right if

876
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 3: we're able to like shift each other's mindset and peak

877
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 3: each other, you know, like different things come out of conversation.

878
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 2: I think that's how growth happens.

879
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 1: So and I think too, like it is a aside

880
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 1: from like you know, socially and all this sts, but

881
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: like all those things, I think it is an interesting

882
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: time for dating too, because like like last night was

883
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: our Like we've been now dating for I don't know,

884
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 1: like a month and a half or something, not very.

885
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 2: Long, Oh my god.

886
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 1: And we went to dinner for the first time at

887
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 1: a restaurant last night. Like I haven't even been on

888
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: a real date. Like we've been on dates, like he's

889
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: tried to do dates with me, whatever, but like I

890
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 1: mean like out in public amongst people, right, And I

891
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 1: was like, this is so strange that I have decided

892
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: that I want to invest my time into this person.

893
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: Give him whatever the fuck this title means, not even

894
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: a title whatever, whatever we're seeing each other and we've

895
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: never even been like on a date to dinner. I'm like,

896
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: does so? And then I may think does that shit

897
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 1: even matter? Because like, honestly does I feel more connected

898
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 1: in the ways that we've been able to connect outside

899
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 1: of what you know, society's standards of what dating looks like,

900
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: which is go to the go to dinner, then go

901
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: to a movie, then maybe hang out somewhere else in public,

902
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: go to the beach, or meet your friends. Like I

903
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 1: don't you know, like all these different like milestones that

904
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: you're supposed to do, but when you're dating, that like

905
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 1: categorize you as dating.

906
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 3: And even like with that coming up mind because like

907
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 3: obviously not an ideal dating situation because there's COVID, but

908
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 3: also like is there who's talking about?

909
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 2: But like obviously there is, but who like who?

910
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 3: Like even with this book, I've filled twelve like this

911
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:14,919
Speaker 3: boyfriend girlfriend conversation because Adventure Bay and I he told

912
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 3: me like maybe a month ago. I don't know, you know,

913
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,320
Speaker 3: I just want you to know. I deleted my my hinge.

914
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 3: I'm fulfilled here. I don't really have to see a

915
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 3: reason to like seek anything outside of this situation because

916
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 3: I'm really this is.

917
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 2: You know, I'm happy here.

918
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,399
Speaker 3: And it took me a cup, like maybe a week

919
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 3: or two to like respond, and which would be the

920
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 3: natural way, is like me too, I mean too. I

921
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 3: deleted it because I didn't think that was a big

922
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 3: of a deal. And my girlfriend was like I was

923
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: telling her about this guy that a minute. She's like, well,

924
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 3: did you delete the hinge? And I was like, no,

925
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 3: what's the point. I haven't checked it. She's like, just

926
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 3: delete it. Why are you not deleting it? I was like,

927
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 3: why do you have to delete it? She's like, just

928
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 3: delete it. So like fine, So I told him over dinner.

929
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,360
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, I deleted my hand. She's like, oh,

930
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,720
Speaker 3: it's about time. But then I'm also in the same breath,

931
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,959
Speaker 3: like we've discussed we're not going to move super quickly

932
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 3: and being a relationship because he kind of did that

933
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 3: in his last relationship. And then you know, then the

934
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 3: girl pops up and it's triggered all these feelings for me,

935
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 3: which are like territorial feelings of like you know, what

936
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 3: a girlfriend or a boyfriend would feel. But I'm like

937
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 3: what in my head, I'm like, what more do I want?

938
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,959
Speaker 3: He's told me he doesn't want to see anybody else.

939
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 3: I'm not doubting if we're like if he doesn't care

940
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 3: about me, or that he's you know, I don't think

941
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 3: he's spending time with anybody else.

942
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 2: But like, what if I had this title? Would it

943
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 2: make me feel better?

944
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 3: Because he was like I didn't want to tell my

945
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 3: ex you were here because it's not like we're together,

946
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 3: and immediately I felt triggered by that, But like, what

947
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 3: does that actually mean? Are we twelve years old? Do

948
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 3: I have to be like we're going steadied and feel

949
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,879
Speaker 3: cared for or cared about? Especially when like, first of all, bitch,

950
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 3: I don't ever have boyfriends anyway, right, but like what

951
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: is that? Like there's so much of dating that is

952
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,839
Speaker 3: socially influenced, but it's like, what does that even really

953
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: fucking mean? If you're getting everything that you want and

954
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 3: need and feel, you know, like what, I've realized that

955
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,280
Speaker 3: I have a trigger with like feelings threatened that someone

956
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: can take what mine And that's why I don't have

957
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 3: a lot of boyfriends because I don't want to feel

958
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 3: at any point that that's the possibility. Yeah, like that

959
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 3: would I don't want it to fuck with me? So

960
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 3: and that I just don't get attached to people in

961
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 3: that way. So what made you ask him?

962
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: So?

963
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 2: Are you my boyfriend?

964
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: I was it was like more like I was like kidding,

965
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: it's just like we we say that we love each other.

966
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 2: Oh that was an oh wow, yeah, I forgot about that.

967
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: And I do love him, I'm falling in love with him,

968
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: and so what I guess I would say, and there's

969
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: love there and it grows, it grows every day, every

970
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,879
Speaker 1: single day, and we've spent every single day together and

971
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 1: I think that I I was just like, I don't know,

972
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 1: like are we are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Like it

973
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: wasn't like more like it wasn't like I didn't say

974
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: it in the way of like what.

975
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 2: Are we It was more like what the fuck are

976
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 2: we doing here?

977
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 1: What are we doing here? Like you know and you know,

978
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 1: and him saying like, I don't know what that means,

979
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: Like I know that I like, I want to foresee.

980
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 1: I want to say I want a future with you.

981
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going anywhere. I want to like, I want

982
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: to build something with you. So if that's what that means,

983
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 1: then yes, And I'm like okay, Well, I mean I

984
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: guess like, he's like, is that what you want to

985
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: call me? Like? And I told him, my god, I

986
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: was telling him. I was like, I don't know. My

987
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: friend call has been calling her boyfriend her partner for

988
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 1: like the last eight years. And and he was like,

989
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: is she gay?

990
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,399
Speaker 2: I told you? He said that.

991
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: I like died laughing because you guys, like I have

992
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 1: a friend who's had a who's who had a boy

993
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 1: boyfriend for like ten years, and she, you know, she's like,

994
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: it's it feels silly for me to call my boyfriend

995
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: we've been together for ten years, like he's my partner,

996
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 1: and also that's a new thing. And also and I

997
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 1: would tell her, I'd be like, well, to me, that

998
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: makes me think that people are going to think he's trans.

999
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: You have to stop telling people that because you might

1000
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: even think that he's gay trans or you're gay or

1001
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: you guys are a gay relationship kind of like partner

1002
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: does not just mean gay. And I was like, I

1003
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 1: don't know, girl, I'm pretty sure it does. And so

1004
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 1: it's finally like you like this was like, she's I

1005
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 1: remember the first time she said it was at IRI's

1006
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: first birthday, and so now I reas five and so

1007
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: I've grown, I've grown past, and I'm used to it

1008
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: and I do understand it and more now I don't

1009
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 1: associate it with gayness or whatever. But like when he

1010
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 1: said that, I couldn't help but fucking laugh and I

1011
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: was like, I can't wait to tell her this. But

1012
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 1: he was like gay and he was like, I mean,

1013
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: I get I guess I get what you're saying. He's like,

1014
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like labels are weird,

1015
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,360
Speaker 1: and they are. They are weird. Even the boyfriend thing

1016
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: is weird, I think even like I don't know, I.

1017
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 3: Think am I Even the rules we have around relationships

1018
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,760
Speaker 3: and boyfriends and this and that are weird, Like even

1019
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: you know, I'm a lover. I love people, hella, hella easy,

1020
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 3: and I feel like I'm gonna be like, fuck, I

1021
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 3: love you. And I've said like, oh I love this,

1022
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 3: so I love that, and he said it too, like

1023
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 3: I'm sending this to you because I love you, you know.

1024
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 3: And it's interesting because he's never been in love, which

1025
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 3: I don't. I think he's I think he's full of shit.

1026
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 3: He's forty three years old. I think he just doesn't

1027
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 3: want to admit it or doesn't realize it doesn't like

1028
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: rainbows don't come shooting at your fucking ass. But I'm like, well,

1029
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 3: if I feel this way, like oh my god, I

1030
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 3: love you, I tell my friends I love them all

1031
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,320
Speaker 3: the time, but is there some like what is the

1032
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 3: time frame around even that? And then does that mean

1033
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 3: like obviously, if I love you and I have love

1034
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 3: for you, doesn't mean I'm in love with you or

1035
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 3: that we have to be together, or like why.

1036
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: Even when I feel times, why my I fuck, I

1037
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 2: love you?

1038
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 3: I all sought myself from saying that because it feels

1039
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 3: too deep.

1040
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, and I get that that's how I take

1041
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: it too. But I think some people, even him and

1042
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: even like Happy Bad because when he told me, because

1043
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 1: Happy Baby told me he loved me, it was so

1044
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 1: casual and it kind of just threw me off, Like

1045
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 1: we were just getting out of the car and it

1046
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 1: was just like I love you, and I.

1047
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 2: Was like, what whoo?

1048
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: Really, Like it wasn't this moment, this big moment that

1049
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: like you associate the I love you with right, And

1050
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: he said love is so basic, Like to me, like

1051
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 1: that's the base, the most basic part of the real relationship,

1052
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: Like to say I love you shouldn't be like this

1053
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 1: huge monumental moment. It should be like I'd hope that

1054
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: if we're spending this much time together we have love, right.

1055
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 2: I mean, and you know he's a cancer like me,

1056
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 2: So I totally feel that.

1057
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: And that's what And that's kind of like how happy

1058
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 1: they had explained it to me. And I was like, Okay,

1059
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 1: I understand that. And obviously like we grew to love

1060
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,879
Speaker 1: each other even more whatever, but like I think, even

1061
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: this is my poetry bay. We got to joining all

1062
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 1: the bays together and talking about them this way. Okay.

1063
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 1: He he's kind of alluded to that as well, you know,

1064
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: and said that as well, and I'm like, you know,

1065
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: it's true and so and there's been moments before I

1066
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: we before I we said it, which when we said it,

1067
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,879
Speaker 1: I was on Molly, So there's that.

1068
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 2: But she got for me.

1069
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 1: I finally took the Tesla that Jamila has been telling

1070
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: everyone about. You did you did talk about tesla. It

1071
00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 1: was the first time you guys hung out. You said

1072
00:51:58,640 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 1: you took the Tesla.

1073
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 3: I say that it neon orange and I had glitter

1074
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 3: in it. It does, and it makes you fall in

1075
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 3: love automatically.

1076
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 1: It does it just opens things up. But before I

1077
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: took the Tesla, like I had had moments where I like,

1078
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: I look at him and I felt this urge to

1079
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: say it, but I kept stopping myself like no, what, No,

1080
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: and it's like why am I doing that? Why do

1081
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 1: I keep doing that? And then when I took Tesla,

1082
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, bitch, now we ain't doing that.

1083
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: And then and I think also I felt like before

1084
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: I took what before, before I opened up and I

1085
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: was really able to tell him. I kept thinking like

1086
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: if I say this, I can't take it back. Like

1087
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 1: that's what I kept thinking, like if I say this shit,

1088
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,439
Speaker 1: I can't say it back, Like I have to really

1089
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 1: make sure I really mean this because like he might

1090
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: say it and then like what do I do with that?

1091
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 1: You know? And then like are we just saying this

1092
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: shit now? So I don't know? And then I don't know.

1093
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 1: When I said it, I felt relief. I felt like, Okay,

1094
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: yeah I do. I felt I feel this way like

1095
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: I'm falling in love with you. I love you, you know,

1096
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's what's so interesting feeling. And like I

1097
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 1: tried to fight it. I really did, because I'm such

1098
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:13,800
Speaker 1: a I feel like I'm very reasonable with things.

1099
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 2: A lot of times me too. That's the scary part.

1100
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 1: And it's like I just feel like I have to

1101
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't. I sometimes I block my my first

1102
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: gut reaction, especially in love, because I've been wrong and

1103
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 1: so I really really doubted a lot of shit when

1104
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 1: I first even met this person, period, you know. So

1105
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 1: and then when I finally just like gave in and

1106
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 1: let myself just be like, I feel so much better.

1107
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 1: I feel so much better. I'm like, you know what,

1108
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 1: I might get hurt. I might, but that's just like

1109
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 1: the nature of the game. It is not a game,

1110
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 1: but like that's just life, period. And like I can't

1111
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: I realize I can't. I know, I can't navigate through

1112
00:53:56,320 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: life wondering constantly if I'm gonna get hurt because and

1113
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: so that I and then not.

1114
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 2: Do anything, or just just constantly having this armor up.

1115
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 1: But I do, but I and I still do have

1116
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: some armor up. I'm still I'm starting to realize where

1117
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: are where I have armor that I didn't even realize.

1118
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: I mean a certain I think a certain amount of

1119
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 3: armor is healthy, is healthy, like even for sure adventure

1120
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 3: Baby put it in these terms you know, it's like

1121
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 3: he's in the car and the garage door is going

1122
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 3: up and he could just hit the hit the gas

1123
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 3: and pull out.

1124
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,240
Speaker 2: Or he's gonna check his mirrors.

1125
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 3: He's gonna put it in his seatbelt, just like Secura's like, yeah,

1126
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,799
Speaker 3: I like that, you know, like take your time. But

1127
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 3: you know, I think a certain amount is normal because

1128
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 3: we've had obviously not always made the right decisions. But

1129
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 3: also there's a certain amount to be like, you know,

1130
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 3: fuck it, trust it, let it be if it feels

1131
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 3: good and it looks, you know, like you have to.

1132
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 3: We are rational, smart women, so at some point we

1133
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 3: have to honor that too and let shit ride out.

1134
00:54:54,440 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: And you know, hey insert the dice gamble here.

1135
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: Oh ma'am. Well, I'm really glad I was able to

1136
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 1: share this with you, guys. I feel much better that

1137
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: my tribe knows what's happening, because, you know, we haven't

1138
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: really been talking about our personal lives in this aspect

1139
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: because there's been so much going on and so much

1140
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:19,440
Speaker 1: more important shit. To be honest, now that this isn't important.

1141
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 3: Well, it's nice to find love and to find an

1142
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:23,919
Speaker 3: oasis and the right.

1143
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:29,280
Speaker 1: Talking about my love when like black people are under attack.

1144
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 3: No, but but I didn't feel right to talk about it.

1145
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 3: We don't have to talk about it. But also we're

1146
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 3: allowed to feel love. We deserve love. We deserve good partners.

1147
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,240
Speaker 3: We deserve partners that make us feel good and honored.

1148
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,879
Speaker 3: And you know, saying that outloud and claiming it, you know.

1149
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 2: We don't.

1150
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 3: We've lived in trauma of being black our whole lives.

1151
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 3: And so it's okay to celebrate when we're in something

1152
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 3: that we feel is good.

1153
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: And we've met men that we.

1154
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 3: Feel are good, and it's okay to you know, be

1155
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 3: up in it and you know, celebrate it.

1156
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 2: I agree, I love you.

1157
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 1: I agree, I love you too.

1158
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,719
Speaker 3: At least we have each other, no matter what I've

1159
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 3: already told our guys like this is, this is our

1160
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 3: our wives.

1161
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 1: So Cameron calls you my boyfriend. He's like, Jamila, really

1162
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 1: is your boyfriend?

1163
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 2: I think he's like, I think he kinda is a

1164
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 2: little bit jealous.

1165
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 1: I think he's true.

1166
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 2: I'm like, you need to calm down. Bruh. I am

1167
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 2: the husband. I'm the husband. I wear the pants over here.

1168
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 2: This is my house.

1169
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: It is.

1170
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 2: I make the.

1171
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 3: Dinners, should make the drinks. I make the dinners, you know,

1172
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 3: and be quiet. Don't even question me. That's all you

1173
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 3: do here.

1174
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 1: Just make sure you fuck her good and roll the blunts.

1175
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 2: Oh don't make her cry or else you have to

1176
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 2: hear from me.

1177
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: Anyway, you guys, you should definitely follow us on Patreon.

1178
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: Like we said, we have that video with Ray at

1179
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: the discussion with Ray and like forty other dope ath

1180
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 1: moms talking about how to discuss raised through your kids.

1181
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 1: We also uploaded a exclusive triller that's a little mike

1182
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: different from the one we posted on our Instagram. So

1183
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:14,240
Speaker 1: if you want us to see us be video host,

1184
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 1: you can check us out on Patreon, which you can

1185
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: search us at good Moms. You have to put this

1186
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: in your search bar Good Moms.

1187
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 3: Wait, no, no, it's patreon dot com backslash Good Moms

1188
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 3: Bad choices because we're extra explicit and we don't come

1189
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 3: up in the search bar.

1190
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 2: If you just go to patreon dot com, or you

1191
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 2: can just go to.

1192
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 1: Our instagram and yeah, hit the link, it's a lot easier.

1193
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 3: We're gonna have more discussions coming up that you can

1194
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 3: be a part of if you join our Patreon.

1195
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 2: Which tier is it?

1196
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: After Dark? After dark, after dark or after bedtime, after bedtime? Wait, bedtime?

1197
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 2: Stuck secure bedtime? I don't know at bedtime.

1198
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 1: You wait, it's about a bedtime. Just read the deets

1199
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: and you'll reach details. Yeah, we're gonna have more talks

1200
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 1: like the one we had with Ray. If you guys

1201
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: have any suggestions or people that you think we should connect.

1202
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 2: Oh wait, actually I have a suggestion. This is what

1203
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 2: I want one of the discussions to be about.

1204
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 1: Okay.

1205
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,919
Speaker 3: I wanted one where we talk to someone who has

1206
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 3: who's like well versed in like basic law stuff, because I.

1207
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 2: Think we should know and our kids should know.

1208
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:17,040
Speaker 3: Like if we're pulled over, if a cop comes to

1209
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:20,479
Speaker 3: our house like sanction two three four, Nigga, you can't

1210
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 3: come in.

1211
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 1: Do you? Are you?

1212
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 3: Are you? Are you aware of your what's your right?

1213
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 3: What are your rights? I think that's important. I need

1214
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 3: to take notes. I want to practice that shit. I've

1215
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 3: seen those youtubes where police pull up to Nigga's house

1216
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 3: they think have some information and be like, oh no, sir,

1217
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 3: you cannot you don't have probable cause because you don't

1218
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 3: have blah blah blah something something description.

1219
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 2: You cannot come in my backyard and then they behind

1220
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 2: up with that shit.

1221
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 3: Girl, and then the police be looking all dumb because

1222
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,479
Speaker 3: they don't even know their shit and they like looking

1223
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 3: at each other looking stupid.

1224
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 2: Oh it's real good. So that's what we mean.

1225
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: Okay, Well I'm all for that. So if y'all know

1226
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: somebody who can do that for us, let us know.

1227
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 1: And if you have any other ideas along the lines of.

1228
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 3: That, Oh so we should one about unlearning, like some

1229
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 3: history lessons and how to like instill in our kids,

1230
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 3: like some.

1231
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 2: Real African American history.

1232
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

1233
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 2: Like not we're like not the one.

1234
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: We mean black history for dummies, okay, And not that

1235
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: we're dummies, but.

1236
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 2: We know we've we we are products of our systems.

1237
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 2: That's very white wild.

1238
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 1: We have short attention spans, let's be honest.

1239
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but I know, I just I just want

1240
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 3: some I want tools to be better as parents, and

1241
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 3: I would like to bring it the people who can,

1242
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 3: you know, help in those spaces. And I want to

1243
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 3: bring our moms with us, like we're a team or

1244
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 3: a community, and like as we thrive and grow, like

1245
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 3: I want us all to be able to thrive and

1246
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 3: grow and.

1247
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 2: Support one another.

1248
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: I agree I agree.

1249
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 2: Have resources for one another, and shit.

1250
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: We have to. We have to. It's we have to,

1251
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 1: it's we have to stick together. We have to stick together,

1252
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 1: and we have to educate ourselves. We can no longer

1253
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: afford to just let other people make decisions for us

1254
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 1: because of whatever we think is popular or whatever the

1255
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 1: majority is saying.

1256
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 2: It seems like too much work to do otherwise.

1257
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 1: Anyway, you should also follow us on Instagram at good

1258
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: Mom's Underscore Bad Choices.

1259
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 3: And also if you're looking for a therapist, you should

1260
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 3: check out betterhelp dot com.

1261
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 2: I actually have my first session tomorrow with my therapist

1262
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 2: that I handpicked, like almost like a tender date. So

1263
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: I'm kind of nervous. I'm kind of.

1264
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 3: Excited about that, but I'm ready to dig through my

1265
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:37,439
Speaker 3: shit because I realized there's some shit.

1266
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: You know. I'm so proud of you. This is really healthy.

1267
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: You are like just enter, just get out, please get out, please.

1268
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 2: Put it on. Okay in a minute, go go okay, go.

1269
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 1: Just come in, just come in, just come in. I

1270
01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: was gonna say, I'm just really proud of you, because

1271
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, you're in this new place, you're taking your time,

1272
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: you're you're honoring where you're at, and you're also gonna

1273
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 1: go to therapy and work through some shit too simultaneously.

1274
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 1: Like that's some, that's some like healthy ass shit girl,

1275
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 1: Thanks for so I'm trying.

1276
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 2: I'm slowly trying.

1277
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that. So yeah, make sure you check

1278
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: out better help if you guys want a discount, make

1279
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 1: sure you go to betterhelp dot com backslash g NBC

1280
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,280
Speaker 1: to find your virtual therapist.

1281
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:34,439
Speaker 3: And I think it's even a drop down and says,

1282
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 3: how did you hear about us? GNBC is on there

1283
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 3: good Mom's bad Choices. You can pick someone with LGBDQ related.

1284
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 3: It's even good for teens and family and couple therapy,

1285
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 3: so it really doesn't discriminate.

1286
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 2: It is you know, I know these people who have

1287
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 2: older kids. I need to talk.

1288
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 3: I can only imagine. I really hope that I can

1289
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:54,479
Speaker 3: start Lunda in therapy as early as like eleven, yeah,

1290
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 3: just for earlier, yeah maybe like ten, I don't know,

1291
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 3: talk just to talk, like just could drop off, go

1292
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 3: shoot the ship, because I just think that's super healthy

1293
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 3: and then you won't be thirty two trying to figure

1294
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 3: out like, oh.

1295
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:09,120
Speaker 2: No, my trauma from when I'm twelve my rejection and shit.

1296
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,600
Speaker 2: So and this is a good time to do it.

1297
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 2: You know, there's there's I feel like there's it's it's

1298
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 2: low commitment.

1299
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 1: Your home, your home.

1300
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 2: You can do a chat, you can do zoom, you

1301
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:19,360
Speaker 2: can do a phone call.

1302
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's pretty affordable too, right.

1303
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty affordable, like sixty dollars like a week.

1304
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:30,640
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, anyway, you guys. Well, I hope you guys

1305
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 1: have a wonderful week. And I'm going to Lake Tahoe

1306
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 1: ho ho ho to ho ho ho to ho ho ho.

1307
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,680
Speaker 3: I'm sure me and Adventure Bay will be doing some

1308
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 3: local adventures, maybe the beach or I've been trying to

1309
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 3: encourage him to redo his patio so I can utilize it.

1310
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 1: It's getting hot out, so I get on it, bitch.

1311
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 3: And we also have bikes to ride and shit, So

1312
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 3: happy summertime, guys.

1313
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 1: Will have fun.

1314
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:23,120
Speaker 3: Adios Suso Ellena, j Solo baa Recorder, Lallas the last

1315
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 3: three Yes,