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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast show?

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Speaker 1: All right, I have an idea for today. Okay, Okay.

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Speaker 1: You know, we come here prepared to do a bunch

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Speaker 1: of different things, and we all come in here with

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Speaker 1: different topics that we want to discuss. So what didn't

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Speaker 1: we get to today? All right? So I'm going to

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Speaker 1: start think about those things that you wanted to chat

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Speaker 1: about that we didn't get to. Um, there was this. Uh,

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Speaker 1: well I'll start with this one. I really want to

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Speaker 1: do a mullet, and I feel like we didn't get

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Speaker 1: into it as much. This is a good idea. No, no,

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Speaker 1: not terrible? Why is this a best idea you've ever had?

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Speaker 1: You know? What? You should do? A skullet? Yeah, a

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Speaker 1: friend right now to you is what he's doing. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no, because no one has the balls to say.

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Speaker 1: You know what, Nate, if you want to go for it,

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Speaker 1: go for it, you know, because everybody gets the same

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Speaker 1: simple haircut. At him, Scary's had the same haircut for

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Speaker 1: the last twenty five years. Something you think doesn't know

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Speaker 1: about the mullet yet. So I think this is what

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Speaker 1: you should do. You should get one, and then you

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Speaker 1: should do engagement pictures. You have some friends, Nate, right,

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Speaker 1: this is going to go well. You can get it

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Speaker 1: done right, You can do it right. Are you planning

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Speaker 1: on getting a haircut at some point? Yes, so you

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Speaker 1: should get one just for like a day to funk

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Speaker 1: with Heather and then get rid of it. Just like

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Speaker 1: every once in a while, I'll get really long facial

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Speaker 1: hair and I'll cut it really stupid, and I'll show

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Speaker 1: Amy and she's like, what are you doing? And I

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Speaker 1: was gonna cut it anyway, you know, just messed with

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Speaker 1: her for a little bit. That's exactly my thought. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have it for a day, two days tops, and

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Speaker 1: then get the real haircut. But I feel like I

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Speaker 1: have to have it just for a moment, just to

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Speaker 1: see what it looks like, because what am I gonna

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Speaker 1: have hair this long again? And I'm never gonna have

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Speaker 1: hair like if you pull it down, is your hair

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Speaker 1: long enough to donate? Becauld you donate it when you

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Speaker 1: cut it off? Hang on, I think so inches go

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Speaker 1: out first. Hold on, you're just I got here just

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Speaker 1: in time for the fun that hair. Look at that

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Speaker 1: pulling out his douche not so now we know that

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Speaker 1: Nate's going to only have a mullet for about a day.

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Speaker 1: Does everybody agree that he can get the mullet? I

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Speaker 1: mean it's a temporary if it's on the journey to

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Speaker 1: a new haircut, and it's just a stop in between,

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Speaker 1: why not has a lot of hair? Should flat iron

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Speaker 1: that and see what you really got? You should flat

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Speaker 1: in your hair that would come down to your below

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Speaker 1: your shoulders, I mean way to shoulders. I oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I look at you. I'll bring my flat iron tomorrow, Nate,

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Speaker 1: We'll see what's going on, would you? Yeah? Crimpet, okay, Crimp.

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Speaker 1: You should go to a curly spectalist and have them

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Speaker 1: like give you a good cut for a curly person. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Are the curly specialists say it's very warm like this

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Speaker 1: past weekend it was ninety degrees. I was I bet

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Speaker 1: that was awful. It was awful with long hair. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, what's this? This pimple and my nose? Look

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Speaker 1: at that? Because I have to be on camera Thursday.

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Speaker 1: This is this is what happens the spot on my

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Speaker 1: computer screen. I didn't know it's always pimple time when

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Speaker 1: it's you know, I hate. I don't know if it's

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Speaker 1: nerves or just what falling apart. We started the Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're about five minutes. Sure, we This is kind of

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Speaker 1: the theme of like, what didn't we really get into today?

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Speaker 1: I've got something, Nate. So during the quarantine it says

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Speaker 1: eighty nine there's a study done of people did something

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Speaker 1: at their house like a d I Y project, and

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Speaker 1: twenty seven percent of Americans regret their d I Y projects.

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Speaker 1: I know one my neighbor he tried to do like

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Speaker 1: pavers in his driveway. The ship looks like the moon.

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Speaker 1: It's so it's not level. It is the worst looking

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Speaker 1: paper job ever. Have to hireational to come in and

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Speaker 1: take up what he did and fix it. So there

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Speaker 1: has to be people who tried to do stuff and

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Speaker 1: got halfway through it and goes, yeah, I'm not qualified

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Speaker 1: to do this. You know. You know, I woke up

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Speaker 1: this morning and I heard a crazy fact and I

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Speaker 1: can't believe it. Maybe I'm living in a bubble because

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Speaker 1: I'm living in New Jersey, but I didn't realize that here.

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Speaker 1: As of May, if you're listening to this in the future,

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Speaker 1: New Jersey and and uh, Hawaii are the only two

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Speaker 1: states left with mask Man dates. Everybody else gave given

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Speaker 1: away the mass, let's see you later. But for for

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Speaker 1: for people that have been vaccinated, right, not the whole

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Speaker 1: mask thing is the rules. So so, Governor Murphy, I've

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Speaker 1: bestowed upon us on coming up this Friday. Oh, we

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Speaker 1: get to get rid of the masks in Jersey finally,

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Speaker 1: and just in time for Memorial Day weekend. By the way,

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Speaker 1: why can't I lose it today? What's the difference between

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Speaker 1: today and Friday? That's what I want to know. Well,

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Speaker 1: then go ahead, Scary, Okay, I'm just going to your

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Speaker 1: Jersey mask. Seriously, I'm just saying I'm just even want

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Speaker 1: to lose it. I'm not losing it. I'm still finding it.

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Speaker 1: It couldn't be day. You're still gonna be walking around.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, I don't give two ships what anybody. Danielle.

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Speaker 1: You can go, as Danielle would say, you can go

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Speaker 1: shoot yourself, Scary, go yourself already, Danielle. If you want

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Speaker 1: to wear that mask till the end of time, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: Don't like anyone to give you ship over that. My

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Speaker 1: kids aren't vaccinating. Did I'm vaccinating, but my kids aren't,

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Speaker 1: so in my in my mind, they need to keep

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Speaker 1: their masks on because they have to keep themselves protected.

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Speaker 1: I gotta tell you. We went to we went to

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Speaker 1: Sesame Place on Saturday, and we had our masks on

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Speaker 1: because you know, some people did, some people didn't. We

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Speaker 1: got the dirtiest looks from people at Sesame Place for

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Speaker 1: wearing masks. Cute little Grover man and stuff and Grover mask.

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Speaker 1: I saw a snuffle up against mask with the trunk.

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Speaker 1: My friend Mikey Russo has a store out Long Island

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Speaker 1: and if you're not not vaccinated versus fully vaccinated, and

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Speaker 1: can you see them? Yeah, oh yeah, And he said,

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Speaker 1: even with that on the door, people come in and

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Speaker 1: go do you have to wear a mask? And he

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Speaker 1: tells him if if you're not attractive, you must keep

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Speaker 1: cover that face. You know what. We've been doing it

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Speaker 1: for so long. It's just kind of weird to take

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Speaker 1: them off now, that's all. Like I went to the

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Speaker 1: supermarket and there was some people without. I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I've had it on forever, so it's just

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Speaker 1: so weird to be without it. That's like taking off

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Speaker 1: your bathing suit in the pool. Yeah, but having a mask.

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Speaker 1: So I've been doing the thing where I leave I

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Speaker 1: leave my mask hanging down on the side, and when

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Speaker 1: I need to go somewhere, I put it on. But

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Speaker 1: other day I was walking down the street. The girl

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Speaker 1: was walking her dog, no mask, and then she just

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Speaker 1: sneezed and she didn't even cover her mouth. So I

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Speaker 1: took my mask and very dramatically covered my face, like

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Speaker 1: can make statements with that mask and back up, lady.

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Speaker 1: Last year, at the height of the pandemic, we were

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Speaker 1: talking about branded merchandise, right right, So somebody in sales

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Speaker 1: is like, hey, let's get face masks now the stream

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Speaker 1: morning show face masks. We have a thousand. Get to me.

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Speaker 1: We literally got them Scottie the day that they lifted

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Speaker 1: the mask Manka, so us send them to Jersey. Send

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Speaker 1: them to Jersey. We got to repurpose those bad boys.

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Speaker 1: Someone make a quill that is funny. They look nice,

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Speaker 1: really high quality. So I was telling you guys earlier,

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Speaker 1: I went to We went to brunch yesterday and one

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Speaker 1: of her favorite restaurants here in Santa Fe and we

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Speaker 1: went in and the owner she she's great. I've met

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Speaker 1: her a long time ago. She came out to me

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Speaker 1: greet us at the door, and she had no mask on,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't even think anythink about it. And she said, so, Elvis,

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Speaker 1: this is my first day as a host at my

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Speaker 1: restaurant here not wearing my mask. I just want to

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Speaker 1: ask you, do you feel okay? Did you feel uneasy?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I feel fine. So she gave me

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Speaker 1: a big hog. I gave every big hog and we

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Speaker 1: sat down and I was like, that wasn't really nicer

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Speaker 1: for her to ask if if we felt uncomfortable, because

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Speaker 1: you know, she takes into account that everyone has a

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Speaker 1: different level of comfort. I don't think you'll get that

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Speaker 1: a lot any. I mean, that's a rarity of people

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Speaker 1: being polite. Yeah, so you go ahead, go ahead, and

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Speaker 1: I'm done. Uh So, over the weekend I learned just

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Speaker 1: be careful when you're filming something you don't know who's

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Speaker 1: watching you. So my son's baseball game, he's five years old.

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Speaker 1: You know, they played t ball where they hit the

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Speaker 1: ball off a t They're playing a team that's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, far more advanced. They're they're probably they seem

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Speaker 1: like they're ten years old. So my son, Hudson, was

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Speaker 1: playing third base and a ball hit him where it

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Speaker 1: looked like he got him right in the crotch. It

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Speaker 1: didn't hit him in the knee. The dad next to

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Speaker 1: me was filming for some reason, and he starts laughing hysterically,

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Speaker 1: thinking he got hit in the crotch. Then he goes,

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Speaker 1: you got to see this to his wife. His wife

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Speaker 1: starts laughing hysterically. He goes, let me see it again,

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Speaker 1: may make sure he didn't get hit hit hit in

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Speaker 1: the crotch. So then I turned to him with with

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Speaker 1: my my yankee. I felt badass wearing my yankee, had

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Speaker 1: my sunglasses, and I go that's my son. And the

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Speaker 1: guy goes, oh, oh, sorry. And then parents started coming

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Speaker 1: over from the other team, going, hey, you see that

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Speaker 1: kid that almost got hit in the crotch and the

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Speaker 1: parents I just looked over. Here's the ironic part. So

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Speaker 1: my name is Garrett Vogel, last name Vogel. I find

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Speaker 1: out the two parents sitting next to me their last

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Speaker 1: name is Vogel. So now I have an arch enemy

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Speaker 1: in my town. Cannot wait to take out the Vogels.

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Speaker 1: That's it. Well, I started playing it out. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if I if I start a fight with this guy,

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Speaker 1: what am I going to tell the cops? And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I I know it. He's he's watching my son's crotch.

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Speaker 1: Hen's but but but it's true five years old and

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Speaker 1: he's laughing. He goes, you want me send it to you?

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Speaker 1: It could be a good life lessen for him, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you send me. You know, not having kids,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of people in the show, don't, They

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Speaker 1: never will probably, I don't know. I can't imagine that

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Speaker 1: the dynamics of going to a sporting event, your your

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Speaker 1: your kids are in because you hear these nightmares. Like Froggy,

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Speaker 1: he gets into fights with other people's kids events, the

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Speaker 1: calls wrong? What do you mean to do? I mean

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Speaker 1: that was what are you doing there? Even gone up?

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Speaker 1: Our referee? Get the calls right? Am I right? Daniel.

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Speaker 1: This happened to me two weeks ago at Preston's game,

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Speaker 1: and you're his mother from he didn't have and he

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Speaker 1: I I like this kid, he's a good kid. I

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Speaker 1: was at his game to be supportive and the referee

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Speaker 1: was sucking up. So I'm getting you a ticket up

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Speaker 1: to Jersey. Froggy, I'm gonna need back up at the

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Speaker 1: next year. See what my problem was? The ref wasn't

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Speaker 1: watching the kid like doing things to my son that

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Speaker 1: he shouldn't have been doing, like hurting him and elbowing him,

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Speaker 1: and then he winds up giving my kid a card.

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Speaker 1: I walk over like what am I gonna do? And

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Speaker 1: am I no fucking way? And I go walking over

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Speaker 1: there and then and then yeah, so Sheldon is the coach.

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Speaker 1: He turns around and he goes hey back in the

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Speaker 1: stands and sit down. So I go, okay, so I

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Speaker 1: go back in. So all the parents were like, let

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Speaker 1: me ask you a question. What was the plan. I go,

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Speaker 1: there was no plan. I think I was gonna walk

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Speaker 1: over there and just save watching people like dirt kick

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Speaker 1: dirt at the umpire. That's what you should have done,

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Speaker 1: gone over, started kicking some grass. It was to go

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Speaker 1: himself yourself. It was the first time I actually felt like,

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Speaker 1: you know, Papa bear like. It was one of those

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Speaker 1: things where it was just like it was ninety degrees

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Speaker 1: outside and my body was like probably a D and twenty.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to kids and parents, there's gonna be skirmishes,

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Speaker 1: old Dick, this is one of the this is why

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Speaker 1: I can't have kids, because I am not above fighting

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Speaker 1: another little kid. So if I saw some of that

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Speaker 1: stuff happening, I'd be like, that's fine, it's on for real.

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Speaker 1: When when another kid who's even your kid's age, messages

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Speaker 1: with your kid, you want to pick that kid's ass,

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Speaker 1: I don't care if he's you don't give a shit. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: Oh that happened that like bounce you and stuff. Someone

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, bouncing into my kid on one of

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Speaker 1: those trampoline things, and I was just like, where is

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Speaker 1: your parents? What? You've come near my kid again? And

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Speaker 1: we're going to have problems. So scary scary Gandhi maybe

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Speaker 1: nate kids or not? No zero In fact, In fact,

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Speaker 1: the more I see stories and hear things like this,

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Speaker 1: the more I don't want kids. You guys are furthering

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Speaker 1: me into this hole. Roads negatives were in the pool.

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Speaker 1: We were at the pool yesterday. You know, all these

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Speaker 1: emilies with kids, and I see, I see this kid

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Speaker 1: that's obviously peeing at least, but I assume in the pool,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I think the parent knew it or something,

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Speaker 1: because the parent picks the child up and goes, what

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Speaker 1: the hell are you doing? And then they walk out

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Speaker 1: of the pool. So I'm like, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: deal with this. I hated that as a lifeguard, because

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Speaker 1: then what you would have to do is clean out

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Speaker 1: the whole pool, tell everyone get out of the pool,

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Speaker 1: and then you would have it was the worst that

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Speaker 1: in poop in the pool. That happened on the hottest

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Speaker 1: day in August in Atlantic City. Yeah, there was a brown.

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Speaker 1: There was a dark, dark, dark golden nugget. Now when

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Speaker 1: that happens, you have to empty the pool. That's even worse.

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Speaker 1: People saw it, if theyone saw it. I was cursing

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Speaker 1: this kid, why did you ship in the pool? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so how would you like it as a parent someone

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Speaker 1: coming over to your kid asking them like, Scary did

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Speaker 1: that to my son? That's where I would have to

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Speaker 1: lay Scary out, Like I would lay him out. But

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Speaker 1: as a paris, you don't look at your kid like

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Speaker 1: why did you ship you? One else coming and screw

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Speaker 1: at your five No way, no kids for me, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry my kids shut the pool, Yes, my

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Speaker 1: kid just sorry everybody in the summer. Well, I had

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Speaker 1: my first pool past. I had my first pool p

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Speaker 1: last week of the season. You pete in the pool? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I always do pee in your parents pool, Scott, there's

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Speaker 1: enough chlorine wrong with you. Yeahbody cause that same mentality,

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Speaker 1: is there enough chlorina body peas in the pool? No,

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Speaker 1: I do not in my pool. I'm sorry. That's the yeah.

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Speaker 1: We gotta go with that. So you know, that's we

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Speaker 1: were doing really well. Then it here comes Scottie do

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Speaker 1: yearly tradition. It's this parent tell a kick off the

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Speaker 1: swimming season pool. It's officially summer. Welcome to our notice.

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Speaker 1: There's no pean it. I just told that joke. He

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Speaker 1: just just that I missed it. Everybody, stay bye, bye bye.

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Speaker 1: The fifteen Minute Morning Show