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Speaker 1: Hey, Alyssa Sale and this is Joe. Welcome to the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast game show.

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Speaker 2: The show where you can hear the greatest stories on

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Speaker 2: ours and.

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Speaker 1: Luckily you've won the jackpot for listening to the best

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Speaker 1: stories your ears could listen to. All you have to

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Speaker 1: do is wait for two minutes through these messages from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: I just found out I had a son after eighteen years.

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Speaker 2: Truth is never too late.

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Speaker 3: And it's I'm Not Your Father's Week on Okay Storytime,

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Speaker 3: where we're diving into jaw dropping paternity twists and family

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Speaker 3: confessions that I'll have you asking is this really my dad?

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Speaker 3: But let's dive into this one. So my world has

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Speaker 3: been turned upside down over the last twenty four hours.

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Speaker 3: I've got two kids, eight and two or so. I thought.

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Speaker 3: My oldest has an assignment for school to write and

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Speaker 3: report on an interesting relative. My family is boring, but

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Speaker 3: I did recall having a great great great granduncle who

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Speaker 3: was a member of Congress, so I thought we'd start there.

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Speaker 3: I logged into ancestry and had a notification you and

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Speaker 3: random woman's name share DNA. Thought it was probably a

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Speaker 3: distant cousin or something clicked it it said predicted relationship

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Speaker 3: parent child. I called my mom to make sure her

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Speaker 3: account didn't get hacked, since I knew she had it done.

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Speaker 3: She said she used twenty three and meters for testing.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from KR one seven thirty

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Speaker 3: five and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So

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Speaker 3: I looked up this woman on Facebook came to the

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Speaker 3: realization that this was someone I hooked up with in college.

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Speaker 3: I used truth Finder to find out more about her.

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Speaker 3: She appears to be married as a husband, an older kid,

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Speaker 3: and two younger kids. They look like the typical suburban family.

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Speaker 3: The older kid looks like as awkward as I did

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Speaker 3: as a teenager. That's different, He's like that looks like

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Speaker 3: a nerd version of me. They both look think nerds,

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Speaker 3: spitting image. I'm guessing she did a test for him

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Speaker 3: using her name. I have a flood of emotions right now,

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Speaker 3: anger being the first. If my math is right, he's

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Speaker 3: around eighteen. Don't remember the exact timing, and I've missed

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Speaker 3: out on basically his entire childhood. I hate when we

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Speaker 3: read stories about parents who find out that they've had

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Speaker 3: this child rutten around that they never knew about. And

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Speaker 3: you know, this is not like scenarios where the person

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Speaker 3: is dangerous or you know or etc. I was absolutely

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Speaker 3: in no place to raise a kid at the time

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Speaker 3: in my life and probably wouldn't have ended up being

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Speaker 3: able to go to med school. At the same time,

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Speaker 3: I never got the choice no, and that's what upsets

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Speaker 3: me more. I know my family would have helped me out.

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Speaker 3: I haven't told anyone this, not even my spouse. I'm

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Speaker 3: wrestling with guilt. I really want to reach out. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to throw turmoil into a family, but I

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Speaker 3: also feel like I shouldn't have to miss out on

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Speaker 3: more of his life. He has an Instagram account, but

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Speaker 3: it's private and reaching out straight to him would be overwhelming,

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Speaker 3: not to mention creepy. Where do I start? Do I

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Speaker 3: call ancestry, reach out to her directly? Do I get

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Speaker 3: a lawyer? I don't even know how that works because

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Speaker 3: I live abroad. Now thanks in advance and there are

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Speaker 3: some comments and an update. My first thought is good,

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Speaker 3: Absolutely tell your spouse immediately, you know, go talk to

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Speaker 3: your spouse right away. I'd be like, hey, I just

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Speaker 3: found out that I have a kid that I didn't

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Speaker 3: know about totally before you. Of course this was in college. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then you guys can kind of work out what

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Speaker 3: to do from there.

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Speaker 2: You definitely don't want it coming from someone else.

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Speaker 3: Now you have to get ahead of this asap.

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Speaker 2: Hey learn something new by your husband.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, hey, Speedy, I thought we could get

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Speaker 4: dinner and I could tell you about my eighteen year

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Speaker 4: old child that I just found out about.

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Speaker 2: How you even like ice break that?

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Speaker 3: I think you go, Hey, I have to talk to

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Speaker 3: you about something. But there is a consensus saying that

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Speaker 3: he needs to tell his partner and figure it out

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Speaker 3: from there. I agree. Notable comment. I'm in my forties

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Speaker 3: and I did ancestry to find out who my father was.

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Speaker 3: And I have some advice for you. Talk to your

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Speaker 3: wife first and make sure she is one hundred percent

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Speaker 3: a part of your plan and feels like she has

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Speaker 3: a part of it too. She is going to be

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Speaker 3: a huge support system for you. Reach out to the

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Speaker 3: bio mom. The reason she took the test is likely

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Speaker 3: because she didn't know who the father was, and there

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Speaker 3: were several options. That was the situation in my case

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Speaker 3: for my mother, and she was ashamed. If the mother

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Speaker 3: refuses contact with you and you still want contact with him,

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Speaker 3: I would wait until he is of age and then

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Speaker 3: reach out to him yourself, which he is already.

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Speaker 2: Of age, so you're good, go for it.

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Speaker 3: The pieces of my life came together when I met

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Speaker 3: my biological father and his family. I finally looked like

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Speaker 3: someone and felt like I belonged somewhere. That may not

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Speaker 3: be his case, but you don't know what's going on.

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Speaker 3: It sounds dramatic, but I truly felt like a piece

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Speaker 3: of a missing puzzle came together. The reason I mentioned

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Speaker 3: your wife is because she has a huge part in this.

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Speaker 3: My biological father's wife has been so amazing and welcoming

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Speaker 3: to me. If she hadn't been, it would have been

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Speaker 3: a totally different scenario. She had the chance to make

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Speaker 3: me feel welcome in their home or not, and it

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Speaker 3: was already a very nerve racking situation meeting them. Expect

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Speaker 3: there to be awkwardness. I'm an adult forming adult relationships

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Speaker 3: with a man who wants to take on a father

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Speaker 3: role with me, and a brother and sister who are

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Speaker 3: very close with each other that I have forty years

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Speaker 3: of history with one another. When we are all together,

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Speaker 3: I get quiet, and it's hard for me because the

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Speaker 3: children he raised feel very comfortable around him, understandably so,

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Speaker 3: and I feel a bit like a third wheel. These

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Speaker 3: aren't things I say. I'm just saying that at times

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Speaker 3: it can feel a bit awkward for me. But my

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Speaker 3: bio dad never makes me feel bad if he senses

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Speaker 3: me pulling away, he's very patient. I live in a

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Speaker 3: state where I need to take a plane to visit

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Speaker 3: my biofather and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: I like that comment a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you're about to have a you know,

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Speaker 3: I mean, you've always had a child, but you're about to,

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Speaker 3: like hands on have a child. Maybe.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And we got a comment from the child's point

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Speaker 5: of view years later, so you kind of get a

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Speaker 5: bit of the inside of what to expect.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you're gonna have these you know, old

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Speaker 3: grown person who has been raised by totally different people

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Speaker 3: and maybe is seeking connection with you, and you got

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Speaker 3: to be really patient. You can't, you know, force that

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Speaker 3: connection to happen. Yeah, because you are a stranger even

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Speaker 3: though you're related. So yeah, if you're going to reach

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Speaker 3: out to him, just be like very gentle to get slow,

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Speaker 3: but there is an update fifteen days later update dude

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Speaker 3: to popular demand. The day after my original post, I

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Speaker 3: told my spouse and my parents both are supportive of

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Speaker 3: how I wanted to go about this. I went ahead

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Speaker 3: and decided to contact my son's mother. I didn't want

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Speaker 3: to give her the excuse that I was anything but proactive.

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Speaker 3: When I went to send a message directly on ancestry,

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Speaker 3: I could no longer find the match. She had blocked

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Speaker 3: me because it was under her name. Okay, she submitted

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Speaker 3: her son's a DNA, but under her name. I wonder

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Speaker 3: if she just wanted to find out who the father

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Speaker 3: was but didn't actually want him in her life or something.

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Speaker 3: She was like, okay, once we figured.

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Speaker 5: Out blocked another thought she found out who the real

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Speaker 5: father was, kind of got excited, yeah, but then started

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Speaker 5: reading Reddit stories where people like, oh, he's gonna claim

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Speaker 5: for custody, always going to steal my child away from me.

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Speaker 2: Oh my child's gonna d D D D D, And

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Speaker 2: was like, was Opie even talking to his son at all?

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Speaker 2: Or was it just the mom.

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Speaker 3: He hasn't talked to anyone yet.

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Speaker 2: He just saw it.

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Speaker 3: He's still on like the ancestry dot Com.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't know if they messaged yet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, No, they have a message yet.

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Speaker 6: Yeah. Okay.

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Speaker 3: My sister, who's also using Ancestry but hasn't open the

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Speaker 3: app and ages could still see the relation from hers.

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Speaker 3: I decided to have my sister contact her, thinking it

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Speaker 3: may be easier anyway coming from a woman and someone

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Speaker 3: slightly less emotionally involved. Sister was blocked immediately with no response.

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Speaker 3: We both tried reaching out on Facebook, blocked and blocked.

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Speaker 3: My mom tried reaching out blocked. So I wrote a

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Speaker 3: brief messa to my son and sent it to his

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Speaker 3: Instagram without going into specifics, simply telling him that I

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Speaker 3: think we share a connection, that I knew his mother

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Speaker 3: when we were in college in two thousand and six,

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Speaker 3: and leaving the door open from there, basically telling him

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Speaker 3: I was likely his father without blatantly saying it. Let

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Speaker 3: him put the pieces together in a way that made

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Speaker 3: sense for him. Within a few hours, I received a

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Speaker 3: message back. He knew exactly what I meant. He said

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Speaker 3: that his mom told him his biological father was her

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Speaker 3: high school sweetheart and was unlive by a wasted driver

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Speaker 3: while she was pregnant. He didn't know his mom had

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Speaker 3: gone to college. How did he not know that his

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Speaker 3: mom had gone to college.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It probably makes the story easier.

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Speaker 3: That's like a crazy thing to hide, though. He told

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Speaker 3: me he had started questioning the story because she didn't

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Speaker 3: know any of his relatives and only had one pick

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Speaker 3: of his dad and had no picks of her with

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Speaker 3: this guy. He described this as a big question mark

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Speaker 3: in his life and that he had been wanting answers

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Speaker 3: for a while. He did provide the DNA for the

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Speaker 3: ancestry test. His mom told him it was to help

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Speaker 3: her locate the fictional father's family so they could come

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Speaker 3: to his graduation party. Still, he said that he wanted

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Speaker 3: to be one hundred percent sure that I was who

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Speaker 3: I said it was. So on the sixth I drove

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Speaker 3: down five hours to meet him at a Starbucks. I

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Speaker 3: brought a paternity test. We did the samples and put

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Speaker 3: it in the mail. The results came back yesterday as

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Speaker 3: a match. I knew from the moment I saw him

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Speaker 3: that he's my kid. A parent knows. In the photos

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Speaker 3: I saw of him, he looked like me as a teenager,

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Speaker 3: But when I saw him in person, I could see

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Speaker 3: the resemblance to my dad as a young man. His

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Speaker 3: voice even sounded like mine. It was tough holding myself together.

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Speaker 3: It was the same flood of emotion I had when

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Speaker 3: I saw my kids for the first time when they

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Speaker 3: were born, a unique cocktail of emotions most parents know.

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Speaker 3: Except now it's happening in a Starbucks and the kid

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Speaker 3: is a teenager who's six to one same night as

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Speaker 3: me too. As for his mother's husband, my son told

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Speaker 3: me he's never out of close relationship with him, especially

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Speaker 3: after his twin brothers were born at their seven. His

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Speaker 3: mom is good to him and clearly did well raising him.

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Speaker 3: He said he's always looked to his grandpa as his

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Speaker 3: father figure, as he lived with his mom and her

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Speaker 3: parents for the first several years of his life. He

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Speaker 3: doesn't know what he wants to do with his life yet,

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Speaker 3: but he's an honor student on the swim team and

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Speaker 3: is hoping to get a scholarship for swimming. He has

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Speaker 3: a girlfriend and is going to prom this spring. I'm

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Speaker 3: so incredibly proud of how maturely he's handled all this.

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Speaker 3: We're keeping in contact on Instagram and agreed to meet

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Speaker 3: this summer so he can meet the rest of the family,

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Speaker 3: particularly my parents. He's especially excited to meet my two

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Speaker 3: year old daughter. He says he's always wanted a little sister.

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Speaker 3: I also encouraged him to go easy on his mom

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Speaker 3: when the time comes to tell her, because we were

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Speaker 3: both so young when all of this happened, and I'm

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Speaker 3: sure she did the best she could do at the time.

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Speaker 3: As misguided as it may have been. Sometimes it old

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Speaker 3: still lies to make things easier for kids to accept,

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Speaker 3: and we can suddenly find ourselves caught up in those lines.

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Speaker 3: I don't it doesn't mean she wanted to lie to them,

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Speaker 3: But we do want you to listen to full episodes

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Speaker 3: and stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio and search a Bokus story time. But there

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Speaker 3: is a little bit left to the story.

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Speaker 2: Ah, this is great, This is so sweet.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you have this like very lovely kind of

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Speaker 3: you know, reunion with your child. Yeah, where neither of

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Speaker 3: you are defensive or you.

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Speaker 2: Know, he's a good kid.

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Speaker 3: He's a great kid. He's gonna get a scholarship for swimming. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and even you being like, don't get mad at your mom,

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Speaker 3: even though you have every right to be mad at her.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I would in this scenario. I don't know if

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Speaker 5: I would bring it up to my bio mom and

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Speaker 5: meet my biological father, figure out the pieces, and then

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Speaker 5: work on talking to them. Yeah, because well another point,

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Speaker 5: you don't have a lot to lose here, because you

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Speaker 5: have a scholarship, going to swimming, your art.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna be going out of the house soon.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so maybe wait till you're out of the house

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Speaker 5: and then bring it up whenever you've left. I am

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Speaker 5: looking for the less conflict resolution here, but the kids

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Speaker 5: in a good spot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm also I'm hopeful that the mom wouldn't pull anything.

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Speaker 2: She kind of has.

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Speaker 3: I mean, she has been she's been blocking, she's been lying.

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Speaker 3: I'm hoping that maybe now that it's out in the open,

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Speaker 3: she'll be like, oh well I tried. Like that sucks,

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Speaker 3: but it is kind of lovely. How quickly it seems like, oh,

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Speaker 3: Pee and his.

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Speaker 2: Son connected connected? Yeah, yeah, this is great.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but there is a little bit left to the story,

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Speaker 3: so on all a mixed ending. Would I have liked

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Speaker 3: for his mom to have complied, Yeah, it would have

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Speaker 3: made things a heck of a lot easier, But I

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Speaker 3: won't hold a grudge against his mom because my number

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Speaker 3: one priority is my son's well being and he doesn't

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Speaker 3: need cass. I hope when she's finally told that she

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Speaker 3: can come to terms with it, because they both deserve

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Speaker 3: peace and he shouldn't have an unspoken rift between his parents.

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Speaker 3: I think she will. She doesn't have much of a

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Speaker 3: choice at this point. I hope now she understands that,

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Speaker 3: now that he's grown, I'm not trying to take him

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Speaker 3: away from her. In some ways, it's a blessing I

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Speaker 3: didn't find out until now, because had I found out sooner,

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Speaker 3: lawyers and judges would have been involved, and I don't

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Speaker 3: think that would have been good for him, at least

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Speaker 3: that's what I tell myself when I got upset. And

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Speaker 3: I'm glad both of us have gotten some closure here,

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Speaker 3: particularly him, as he's been dealing with this a lot

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Speaker 3: longer than I have. I mean, yeah, he's known about you,

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Speaker 3: maybe not like specifically you, but that he has this

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Speaker 3: missing parental figure his whole life. You've just been this

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Speaker 3: kind of giant question mark in his life. And now

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Speaker 3: you're finally there in person, and that must be so

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Speaker 3: you know, exciting and also overwhelming. Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 3: what's gonna happen when he brings it up to his mom. Hopefully.

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Speaker 3: I'm really cross my fingers that she doesn't, you know,

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Speaker 3: blow up on this. But yeah, I think right now

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Speaker 3: this is a.

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Speaker 2: Good start, good start for everyone, and I love it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: best ones so far.

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Speaker 5: But guys, we have more DNA stories coming this week

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Speaker 5: where you're gonna be guessing who's my daddy?

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Speaker 2: So true aps, so tune in tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend expects me to invest in his daughter, but

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Speaker 4: it's against my goal.

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Speaker 3: That's a bad investment.

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Speaker 4: And investment my female thirty seven boyfriend male forty two

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Speaker 4: has been asking weird questions and expecting me to do

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Speaker 4: things that would go against my plans for my own family.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Stunning TAngelo eighty seven

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Speaker 4: thirty eight and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 4: just go to the ur slash Okay Storytime separredd It.

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Speaker 4: So things have been working out for me in the

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Speaker 4: past few years, but this year has been amazing. I

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Speaker 4: decided to cut down on my daily workload a bit

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Speaker 4: after I got three accounts that are helping me reach

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Speaker 4: some financial goals. I'm planning on buying a house for

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Speaker 4: my family. I downsize my current living situation renting after

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Speaker 4: my kids went to live temporarily with my parents for

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Speaker 4: this semester while I completed my certified training and graduated

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Speaker 4: from my present program in UNI. My new place isn't

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Speaker 4: as nice looking as other places, but the price was

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Speaker 4: a good cut from living expenses for me. I can

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Speaker 4: both walk to the office and UNI, and I hardly

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Speaker 4: have to move my car for anything. I'm saving money

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Speaker 4: that I'm putting in an account for my kids. Then

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Speaker 4: absolutely hates my place. It's clean and in a relatively

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Speaker 4: safe area. It's just that it's a mix of student

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Speaker 4: area slash old families, and traffic can get messy from

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Speaker 4: seven am to six pm.

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Speaker 3: A big, big yes, that's all day.

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Speaker 4: And some houses are simple and elegant and some look

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Speaker 4: like tacky. Add on, I don't care if my place

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Speaker 4: doesn't look nice on the outside. It's not like it's

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Speaker 4: an esore, and it's up to me to make it

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Speaker 4: liveabole on the inside. I had two other choices. Choice

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Speaker 4: A cost two hundred dollars less than my previous place,

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Speaker 4: with access to a community pool and two bedroom. I

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Speaker 4: don't need more than one bedroom at the moment, and

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Speaker 4: I don't really have time to enjoy the pool. Choice

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Speaker 4: B was a bit lower, but about forty five minutes away.

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Speaker 4: It was beautiful and close to the school where Ben's

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Speaker 4: kid went. He did hint at it, but he would

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Speaker 4: have needed to get on the lease and come up

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Speaker 4: with the difference between this place and my new studio

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Speaker 4: apartment that I chose. Also, living together is a major decision,

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Speaker 4: and right now I really need to focus on my

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Speaker 4: career and education. He said, he understood, but he didn't

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Speaker 4: take it well. He told me that his daughter was

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Speaker 4: disappointed because she would have liked a nice place to

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Speaker 4: hang out. Ben in an apartment. It's an average place

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Speaker 4: with no problems or issues. So what he said came

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Speaker 4: out as a weird remark, Yeah, doesn't. I'm confused. She

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Speaker 4: has a place to hang out. Why does she need

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Speaker 4: your place? Yeah, to be like perfect, oh, you know,

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Speaker 4: oasis or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I think I think he's trying to like convince her

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Speaker 4: to get like a new place, a new nicer place.

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Speaker 3: To get there. Yeah, but it's like she's.

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Speaker 4: Not responsible for your kid like that. Like no, Now,

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Speaker 4: fast forward and he started asking questions. First, he asked

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Speaker 4: if I would be interested in partnering with him for

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Speaker 4: a business idea. I said no because I had already

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Speaker 4: made a commitment to self fund my own venture. Second,

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Speaker 4: I'm not familiar with the industry that he wanted to

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Speaker 4: break into. Then he began noticing things about things that

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Speaker 4: I own. I'm not hiding that I'm financially stable, but

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Speaker 4: I don't defend a lot. You did notice that I've

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Speaker 4: bought a few nice items and started telling jokes that

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Speaker 4: felt harmless. Then he said that I was loaded and

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Speaker 4: that his daughter would be an awesome protege. I stayed quiet,

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Speaker 4: to be honest, because I think he might have been offended.

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Speaker 4: But there's no way in heck that I allow entrance

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Speaker 4: to what I've built to anyone other than my kids.

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Speaker 3: Because where is this going?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 4: Also, he said that I should treat his daughter as

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Speaker 4: very special because I only had boys, and she's my

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Speaker 4: chance to have a girl in the family.

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Speaker 3: His word.

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Speaker 4: Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid. I have

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Speaker 4: never missed out on gifting her a nice and thoughtful

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Speaker 4: presence on her birthdays and the holidays. But his words

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Speaker 4: created a sense of discomfort and disgust for me, it

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Speaker 4: felt like reversed sexism, and I told him she and

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Speaker 4: I have a decent relationship, but there's no way that

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Speaker 4: I will give her access to my money if that

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Speaker 4: means treating her as my own. I know this sounds

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Speaker 4: very wrong, but that's how I feel. She's not the

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Speaker 4: kind of kid who's a bully or nasty or anything,

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Speaker 4: but she's not my child. And every time that he

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Speaker 4: asks for things, I feel like he's trying to get

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Speaker 4: me to take from my kids to give to her. Well,

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Speaker 4: I don't know it even is like reverse sexism. I

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Speaker 4: think it's just yeah, like he wants her to take

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Speaker 4: responsibility for his kid, like period. Yeah, it sounds like

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Speaker 4: he wants some things for his kid, I guess. And

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Speaker 4: he's looking at Ope and all her fun things that

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Speaker 4: she has, yeah, and her her money and everything, and

396
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Speaker 4: is like, well, now that I'm dating her, maybe she

397
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Speaker 4: might as well help my kid out too, right, right,

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Speaker 4: Like That's not how it worked. No, it happened again

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Speaker 4: when I gave her a short term weekend job. The

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Speaker 4: office cleaning lady wasn't available, so I hired his daughter

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00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,679
Speaker 4: for a Saturday cleaning. She did a good job. I

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Speaker 4: paid her and took her to the mall to get

403
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Speaker 4: her some makeup that she wanted, and she came back

404
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Speaker 4: next weekend. When he picked her up, he started joking

405
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Speaker 4: that she would start from the bottom and rise to

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Speaker 4: be a top executive like any other kid their family business.

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Speaker 4: I didn't say anything because she was there, but I

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Speaker 4: did approach him later on and mentioned it to him.

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Speaker 4: I tried to be gentle, but it was important for

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Speaker 4: us to at least discuss expectation. His initial reaction was

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Speaker 4: it what I expected to be fair. I think he

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Speaker 4: got nervous or embarrassed. But I didn't like his reaction,

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Speaker 4: so he said something about me potentially putting her in

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Speaker 4: my will.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Wow, y'all are dating, yeah, and.

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Speaker 4: Not even married, not even married, not even at the

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Speaker 4: point where you were moving in.

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Speaker 3: No, we like that's that is way too quick.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, way too fast. I'd like to clarify that he laughed,

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Speaker 4: so I think it was a joke, but I also

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Speaker 4: think that he wouldn't have clarified if I had gone along.

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Speaker 3: I feel like he was like, ha, you should put

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Speaker 3: earn your will.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, exact exactly that. I simply stayed quiet and

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Speaker 4: told him that I cared about his daughter, but it

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Speaker 4: isn't fair to create any expectation. I've worked so hard

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Speaker 4: to give my kids a better future and it's taking

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Speaker 4: me over ten years, and the fact that he only

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Speaker 4: sees the results without taking my pass and my ordeal

430
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 4: into consideration feels disrespectful. I also mentioned how he wanted

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Speaker 4: me to change my budget and plans for a different

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Speaker 4: property while he knew that moving together isn't an option,

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Speaker 4: and that he stayed silent when I mentioned that he

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Speaker 4: would have needed to pay the difference on the leak. Also,

435
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Speaker 4: I mentioned that I would not make a necessary sacrifice.

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Speaker 4: Nothing else was said. He stormed out of my car

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Speaker 4: this is why I feel like the a hole here

438
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 4: and started walking with his hand in his pocket. In

439
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 4: a weak smart I had to I had, Yeah, how

440
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,439
Speaker 4: would you feel like the ale of he's doing that?

441
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 3: Yeah?

442
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 4: I had to drive slowly next to him to convince

443
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 4: him to get back inside the car because I hate

444
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 4: doctor David bannersins. He looked like a hurt puppy after

445
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 4: I dropped him off. He is in sending me texts

446
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 4: about being disconnected from what a blended family actually is,

447
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 4: showing that I think his daughter is inferior, being a

448
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 4: hypocrite and bully.

449
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 3: You guys aren't a blended family yet, You're not. You

450
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 3: are two separate families. Yeah, and you two are dating. Yeah,

451
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 3: you're not a blended family yet, right.

452
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 4: Even if like you've been dating for a long time,

453
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,400
Speaker 4: It's like, at the end of the day, she's going

454
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 4: to prioritize her own kid at this point in your relationship,

455
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,639
Speaker 4: Like this has disturbed my inner piece because I'm just

456
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 4: defending one of her legacy I've built, and having to

457
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 4: do it against my partner just doesn't feel right. We

458
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,159
Speaker 4: talked about it, and he apologized and I did the

459
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 4: same in case I was too hard. He said we

460
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 4: could find some middle ground, and I was open to it.

461
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 4: When he talked about helping him create a business for

462
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 4: his daughter, I began to get angry because again, it

463
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 4: would be sweat equity for me. I declined, because I

464
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 4: did all this wedding. I had to, but it was

465
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 4: for me, and what he's asking just isn't fair. It's

466
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 4: a responsibility, and I truly like to do things appropriately.

467
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 4: I don't want to say yes and do it with

468
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,920
Speaker 4: half effort, and I don't want to work for free.

469
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 4: I also don't want to mix anything between business and

470
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 4: pleasure because it's my network and my contacts, and again,

471
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 4: it could go very nice and well, or it could

472
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 4: be a crap show, and I don't want that. I'm

473
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 4: also concerned that he will ramp up and keep asking

474
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 4: and asking for things. He said that if I don't help,

475
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 4: he will feel like we will never build anything together.

476
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 4: But what is he doing in this situation nothing, He's.

477
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 3: Just asking her for things. Yeah, this is ridiculous.

478
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,439
Speaker 4: This has nothing to do with building anything. She's the

479
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 4: only one that's going to be.

480
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 3: Building something, and you're asking her to do everything. Yeah,

481
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 3: for your daughter and for your lifestyle. It doesn't make sense.

482
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 4: I said he needed to hire a consultant, but he

483
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 4: stayed quiet. So I told him that he shouldn't place

484
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 4: the responsibility of his present situation on me. He said

485
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 4: that I'm probably blinded by my success, but that one

486
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 4: day I'll wake up single and lonely messed up.

487
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 3: That's crazy.

488
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 4: I asked if he was threatened to leave me, and

489
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 4: he said, I'm not acting like.

490
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 3: A helpful partner.

491
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 4: I asked for a break, and he freaked out. I'm

492
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 4: just trying to keep my mental health in check because

493
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 4: his constant asking and jokes have made me anxious. Also,

494
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 4: I'm very angry and thinking that he just wants a

495
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 4: hand out. I texted in this morning asking him to talk.

496
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 4: I want to break up, he said. He hopes I'm

497
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 4: not planning on dumping him because it would mean that

498
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 4: I just tricked him into a break what He posted

499
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 4: something about his own mental health today. So am I

500
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 4: the a hole for deciding to end thing? We haven't

501
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 4: talked yet, but that's my intention. I don't see his

502
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 4: kid as inferior at all. I just want to keep

503
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 4: my money out of it. And there is an edit

504
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 4: to the judgmental people calling me names for letting my

505
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 4: kids live with my parents for this semester. Only please enlighten.

506
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 3: Would it be a.

507
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 4: Great option to reject a good opportunity and finish my

508
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 4: education to gain your approval?

509
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:47,880
Speaker 2: Right?

510
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 4: Because not doing my best to give them a good

511
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 4: financial start in life is a better option. Also, where

512
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 4: did you get that I'm an absent mother? Did I

513
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 4: say that I don't see them or spend time with them?

514
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 4: There is an update. I wasn't even focusing on that

515
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 4: at all. People are crazy on the internet are come on,

516
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 4: ye crazy but wow, So do we think that opis

517
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 4: a hole for debating on breaking up?

518
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,959
Speaker 3: No? I mean your your partner is is inserting himself

519
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 3: in places that he's not shouldn't be inserting himself, and

520
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 3: then he is just kind of totally putting all of

521
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 3: this blame on you for the way that his life

522
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 3: is working at right now. Yeah. Absolutely.

523
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: I feel like money is obviously like a big thing

524
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 4: in relationships, and like if you want these limits for

525
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 4: like and boundaries for your finances, then like it's good

526
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 4: to be honest about that upfront, yeah, because then things

527
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 4: like this could happen. Not saying that like she should

528
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 4: have been honest about this earlier, but like this is

529
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 4: just a good opportunity to like revisit if you want

530
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 4: to be in this relationship if they have these expectations

531
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 4: of you.

532
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 2: Exactly.

533
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 4: So no, not the whole adult, but we do have

534
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:58,239
Speaker 4: an update. So we formally broke up today, okay, And

535
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 4: he made it very difficult to focus on our conversation.

536
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 4: Not surprised he interrupted me every five seconds and was

537
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 4: in denial for almost half of it. I asked to

538
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 4: me at a small restaurant public place strategy to avoid

539
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 4: any type of drama. I tried to be respectable, but

540
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 4: definitely wanted to bring up my uneasiness and feelings about

541
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 4: his behavior. He tried to brush it off at first,

542
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 4: but when I insisted, he evaded the subject.

543
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 3: I told him what.

544
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 4: He already knows. My children are my priority as a

545
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 4: sole provider, and I want to ensure that they have

546
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 4: their needs covered. There were some comments on my other

547
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 4: posts that I had thought about but hadn't verbilize, like

548
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 4: what would he inherit my kids? Or what's his plan

549
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 4: for his own kid? I know he doesn't have much,

550
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 4: but that's no excuse. When I established the comparison between

551
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 4: what he wanted for his kid versus what he would

552
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 4: give to mine, his face changed like I was greedy

553
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,679
Speaker 4: and he was insulted. He said, my kids don't have

554
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 4: a dad and that he can provide a paternal figure.

555
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 4: He's like, you have to provide the funds and the

556
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 4: inheritance and all of this, and then I'm just gonna

557
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 4: be like their dad just gonna be a man, Just

558
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,239
Speaker 4: gonna be a man would be there, Yeah, just going

559
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 4: to exist.

560
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 3: You're welcome.

561
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 4: This triggered me so much that I had to try

562
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 4: and keep my volume in check. Yixer still in public.

563
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 4: My thought is that being there like a piece of

564
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 4: furniture in exchange for financial benefits for his own kid

565
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 4: is acceptable to him. I would have loved for my

566
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 4: kids to have a decent dad, but that's just not

567
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 4: in the car, and right now I'm better off alone

568
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 4: than with Ben. I was so angry that he kept

569
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 4: asking me to calm down. He said that he's leaving

570
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 4: his daughter good knowledge on life in general because there

571
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 4: are things that only he can offer since his mom

572
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 4: is too secular whatever that means, and I didn't ask him.

573
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 4: I said that we needed to break up, and he

574
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 4: immediately got upset and left our table. I thought he

575
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 4: was gone, but he came back later and claimed that

576
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 4: he only went to use the restroom. I told him

577
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 4: that I can't share any part of my life with

578
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 4: him after he behaved like a gold digger, and that

579
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 4: even if I was able to get past this, I

580
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 4: would never even consider getting back together because his intentions

581
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 4: are entitled and dishonest.

582
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 3: Yoh.

583
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 4: All in all, I'm just glad that we weren't alone.

584
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 4: He has high blood pressure issues real I've seen the medication,

585
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 4: and sometimes I've suspected some types of mental health issues,

586
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 4: going from zero to one hundred for things that seem incongruent.

587
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 4: He said he was truly sorry if he offended me

588
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 4: and said that he felt tricked and betrayed.

589
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 3: Crazy that he's apologized and then also uh blamed her. Yeah, Like,

590
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 3: so sorry if you got hurt by like what I

591
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 3: said to.

592
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 2: You when you betrayed me.

593
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 4: Come on that breaks are meant for introspection and to

594
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 4: seek improvement and not to abandon a relationship. Well, what

595
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 4: if you seek introspection and then you decide that you

596
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,719
Speaker 4: shouldn't be together? Yeah, so abandoning a relation. What if

597
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 4: you seek introspection and you realize that, uh, your relationship sucks?

598
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 2: Yeah?

599
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 3: What then?

600
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 4: Huh that my actions will have an impact on his

601
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 4: daughter because she really likes well. I offered to have

602
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 4: a last context with her if he agreed, but his

603
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 4: answer was no, if you you don't get to say

604
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 4: anything to her, Like okay, well.

605
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 3: You'reyone who's studying.

606
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're really thinking about her feelings and that

607
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 4: would really hurt if she actually stopped talking her, then

608
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 4: you're the one, Like yeah, you're the one stopping her

609
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 4: from doing that. He said that I'm caught up in

610
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 4: my new mainstream life, whatever that means. It's effing offensive

611
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 4: considering that I've worked for my financial stability after a

612
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 4: few years of things not being great. He told me

613
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 4: to go suck on my colleagues pe peace, but immediately apologize.

614
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: I can't take that back.

615
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: You can't say you were ghost.

616
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:28,160
Speaker 3: Oh shoot, sorry, yeah, well didn't say that.

617
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 4: Sorry, Sorry, didn't you say that. I told him I'm

618
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 4: not surprised at his behavior, since it shows me that

619
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 4: he seems to think spicy sleep can solve anything. Oooo.

620
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 4: I also said that since he was being gross and vulgar,

621
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 4: I am learning just now that men like him are uneffable,

622
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 4: hope of spicy related hand out seekers and insincere, and

623
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 4: that I will never date someone who is not financially

624
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 4: stable ever again, because this is a huge lesson. I

625
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 4: wish that I could say that I had left him

626
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 4: sitting alone at the table, but he left birth when

627
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 4: I was about to get my handbag to pay for

628
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 4: my food. He rushed to get his backpack and walked off. Really,

629
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 4: I'm just imagining that of him being like storming off

630
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 4: and me like, yeah, you you pay for the check,

631
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 4: you stay here, and then he's like, ah, my bag,

632
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,239
Speaker 4: we got my backpack and then he like rushes in,

633
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: like excuse me, sorry.

634
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 3: I forgot my bag. Bye.

635
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I blocked him everywhere, but I already changed my lot.

636
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 4: He never had a key, nor did he stay over it.

637
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 4: But I'm just being cautious.

638
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 3: But you know what, we will.

639
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 4: Never block you anywhere because we want you to check

640
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: out full episodes and more stories just like this one

641
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 4: on iHeart Radio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, whatever your favorite podcast

642
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 4: app is. The search Okay, scurry of time. We'll be there.

643
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 3: We'll be there. But there is a little bit more

644
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 3: to this story.

645
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 4: But what do you what are your final thought?

646
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 3: You dodged a bullet, man, for sure, And by dodged

647
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 3: the bullet, I mean you kind of got hit by

648
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 3: the bullet. But now you're dodging the Yeah. Yeah, the

649
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 3: bullet is passing.

650
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 4: Through right now.

651
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

652
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 4: This is definitely something that is like good, good lesson

653
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 4: to learn about a relationship, good lesson to learn for

654
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 4: what you want in the future. M hm, love it,

655
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 4: love it. I mean, well it sucks, but like love

656
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 4: your future.

657
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 3: And you know what, you want. You know who you are.

658
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 4: You're not gonna let anyone walk over you. And that's great, exactly.

659
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more. He called one

660
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 4: of our friends in common to vent about me, and

661
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 4: she ended up angry with him because he was very

662
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 4: insistent that I had mistreated him, and she told him

663
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 4: that she needed to hear my side of the story.

664
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 4: She and I had a long conversation, and she told

665
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 4: me that she can't blame me because our group of

666
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 4: friends had been noticing the imbalance in our relationship and

667
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 4: how he seemed comfortable including himself in conversations about business

668
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 4: and success when in the sixteen years that she's known him,

669
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 4: he's never gotten anything done. Wow, he's just start a podcast. Yeah,

670
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 4: he just started a podcast and talk about all of

671
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 4: his success, influence all of these people, influence all those people,

672
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 4: and then maybe he can get he can get another

673
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 4: girlfriend who will take care of his daughter exactly. So

674
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 4: that's my update. I also blogged him on social media

675
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 4: and messaging apps and that is it. Wow, So thought

676
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 4: we got the friend support on that one. Yeah, yeah,

677
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 4: someone he's someone's supporting you. Yeah it's not him, but.

678
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: You know I else.

679
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's the end of that story.

680
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're going to

681
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 6: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

682
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 6: ads from our sponsors.

683
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 3: My girlfriend demands that I stop seeing my daughter, so

684
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 3: I told her to leave.

685
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

686
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely. My partner twenty two female and I twenty four male,

687
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: have been together for just under a year now, and

688
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 3: a few days ago she asked if we could talk.

689
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 3: I immediately feared that she wanted to break up. However,

690
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 3: after our conversation, it was not what I expected at all.

691
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Embarrassed leg twenty eight

692
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 3: to seventy five, and if you want to submit your

693
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 3: own stories, go to our slash Okay story time separated.

694
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 3: So a bit of background for this is that I

695
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 3: have two daughters, aged four and two. I became a

696
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 3: single dad when I was twenty Just a few months

697
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: after my first daughter was born, her mother left us,

698
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 3: and I've been raising her on my own ever since.

699
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 3: About a year or so later, I met my now

700
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 3: ex partner. She was very pregnant and, like me, was

701
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 3: facing the reality of being a single mom. Soon her

702
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 3: baby daddy had left her and their daughter, leaving her

703
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 3: with no support. We were together for almost two years

704
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 3: and we're a blended family. During that time, I raised

705
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 3: our youngest daughter as my own, loving and caring for

706
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 3: As such, both of my daughters are Deaddy's girls, and

707
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 3: I cherish our relationship. I've never won second guess my

708
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: role as their father. Unfortunately, my ex partner struggled with

709
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,719
Speaker 3: mental health issues, including PPD and bipolar disorder, which eventually

710
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 3: led to infidelity. Despite our attempts at couples counseling, I

711
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 3: realized I couldn't continue the relationship. We split amicably, but

712
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 3: I made a promise to my youngest daughter that I

713
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 3: would always be there for her, and I fully intend

714
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: to keep that promise. She spends weekends with me and

715
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: occasionally stays a few days during the week, and this

716
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 3: has been a constant for over a year. What a

717
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 3: great guy like to not only be an active parent

718
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 3: for his biological daughter, but also to be an active

719
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 3: parent for a child he's not related to. Yeah, still

720
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: sees as his daughter Like wow, I know, go girl, dad.

721
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 3: Now fast forward to the present. I met my current

722
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 3: partner shortly after my breakup. Around a month later. Ooh,

723
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: what happened? Perhaps not the best way to go about that. Honestly,

724
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 3: it was supposed to be a casual thing, but we

725
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 3: hit it off so well that we ended up spending

726
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: the whole night talking, playing games, and getting to know

727
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 3: each other. We didn't go beyond kissing, but it felt

728
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 3: great from the start. I was open about my situation

729
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 3: of being a single father to two girls and a

730
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 3: unique relationship with my youngest daughter at the time. She

731
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 3: seemed fine with it and didn't bring it up again.

732
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 3: During our recent talk, she expressed that she's uncomfortable with

733
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 3: the fact that I'm still involved in my daughter's life

734
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 3: and my ex's life. She said that it's emotionally ignorant

735
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 3: and unfair to her that I continue this relationship, and

736
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 3: in her words, you can't possibly love her as much

737
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 3: as your actual daughter. She's not even yours. Just just terrible, terrible, terrible,

738
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: terrible terrible. This really hit me hard, and I admit

739
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 3: I didn't handle it well. It turned into shouts on

740
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 3: both ends, and I told her to leave my house.

741
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,479
Speaker 3: The crappy part was both my kids were in their

742
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 3: rooms and heard the whole thing. Oh wow, Oh yeah,

743
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 3: you gotta be careful about that. Yeah, I really hope

744
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 3: they hardly heard anything or nothing at all. It was

745
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 3: probably the first time they ever saw me like that. Said,

746
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 3: she went to stay with her sister, and now everyone

747
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 3: is messaging me from her friends and family, backing my

748
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: partner's opinion that she isn't even mine and questioning why

749
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 3: I care so much about her. Oh, tone deaf, like,

750
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 3: I just respond like, no, she is mine, she is mine,

751
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 3: and don't question my relationship with my daughter.

752
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

753
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 4: It's like the kind of thing where it's like, first

754
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 4: of all, what does it matter?

755
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, like it's none of your business.

756
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

757
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 3: Thankfully my family is on my side and is doing

758
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,959
Speaker 3: their best to support me emotionally, but it's hard as

759
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,239
Speaker 3: they live in another state. My mother and stepdad are

760
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 3: planning on flying in this coming weekend to help out,

761
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 3: which is the best news I've heard all day. Honestly,

762
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 3: I'm really confused right now. Am I being unreasonable or unfair?

763
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,959
Speaker 3: I am struggling to process my emotions and don't know

764
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: what to do next. Note I should also add that

765
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 3: my ex and I remain decent friends and she's a

766
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 3: great mother to our youngest daughter. However, my oldest daughter's

767
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: mother is currently mia and has been for some time

768
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 3: and is not in the picture. My youngest daughter's mother

769
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 3: is a great mom, but works as a flight attendant

770
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 3: for a few years now, so that's the only reason.

771
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: My daughter stays with me a couple of days of

772
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,959
Speaker 3: week on some occasions so she can pick up extra

773
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 3: hours when she wants or needs. Is only occurs three

774
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 3: to four times a month. If that. Mentally, she is

775
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 3: much better and is doing her best. We just didn't

776
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 3: work out, but continue to make sure that her daughter

777
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 3: will always have me as her daddy. Oh the sweet

778
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,919
Speaker 3: Why would you get into a relationship with someone who

779
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 3: has two kids and then expect them to get rid

780
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 3: of the kids? Yeah, like, just get in a relationship

781
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 3: with someone who doesn't have kids.

782
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like it just sounds like her only like motive

783
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 4: for this and for these feelings. There's just like, oh,

784
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 4: that's really weird that, like you care so much about

785
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 4: your ex's biological child, Like what are you still talking

786
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 4: to her or something like that's what it sounds like.

787
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 3: Weird. Also, my girlfriend now doesn't live with me. She does, however,

788
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 3: stay a few nights out of the week and we

789
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 3: do go out when I find the time. I haven't

790
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 3: heard from her since the incident, which maybe is for

791
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 3: the best. When I I wrote this, I was definitely

792
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 3: trying to word my best during this and when upset

793
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 3: words don't really form in the best way. I do

794
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 3: not ever plan on leaving my daughter's life. What I

795
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 3: was more looking for in answers was if I was

796
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 3: wrong for punting her out. Should we have talked more

797
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 3: about it? I mean, to be fair, you seem like,

798
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 3: rightfully so pretty defensive about your daughters and their place

799
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 3: in your life, right and your girlfriend was just like,

800
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 3: just get them out. Yeah, I think I don't want

801
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 3: them mirror and so she was being pretty insensitive. I agree.

802
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 3: I also don't think I hopped into a relationship too

803
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 3: fast after my first daughter. It was over a year

804
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 3: later and maybe more when I met my ex than

805
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 3: a month later after that my new girlfriend, which is

806
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 3: really fast and was probably the quickest I've ever jumped

807
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 3: into a relationship, but I really thought we had a

808
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 3: great connection. My first daughter's mom was my high school sweetheart,

809
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 3: and we were together for years and even were each

810
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 3: other's first but after our daughter was born, she completely

811
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 3: changed and just decided she had to leave. Comments. Yeah,

812
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 3: do you have any thought before we jump into the

813
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 3: comment no, you go right ahead, comment one not the A.

814
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 3: Might I suggest gently that you pursue therapy and stay

815
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 3: away from relationships for a bit. You're quite young and

816
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 3: it's been a series of train wrecks. Focus on yourself

817
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 3: and your daughter's for a bit. Comment to your girlfriend

818
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 3: is an ale take some time and focus on yourself.

819
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 3: Also a piece of advice. Though emotionally she might be

820
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 3: yours and that's great, However legally she isn't. If you

821
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 3: mean that you want this little girl in your life forever,

822
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 3: it might be worth talking to your AX about adoption.

823
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,839
Speaker 3: Your AXE could change your mind and remove your daughter

824
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 3: from your life at any time, and there is an update.

825
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 3: I think that's pretty smart.

826
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I feel like that's not what he wants though, right, Like,

827
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 4: what do you mean like, because that's suggesting like giving

828
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 4: up that daughter for adoption. But I don't think that's

829
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 4: what open.

830
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 3: You want to know. I think that commentary was saying

831
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: that he could legally adopt her, So not saying that

832
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 3: the mom would lose her paract rights, just saying they

833
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 3: both would have legal rights to this daughter. I see, Yeah,

834
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 3: so he would actually legally be a father to his

835
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 3: thought that would be great. Yeah, I feel like you

836
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: could talk to her about it. Yeah, and like you know,

837
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 3: probably could work out some like making sure that she

838
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 3: would probably still want the same amount of custody that

839
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 3: she has, right, yeah, right, there's a way. Update. Thank

840
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 3: you all for the incredible support of after my posts.

841
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 3: My girls and I are truly grateful. A special thanks

842
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 3: to all the parents who stepped up for a child

843
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: when it wasn't expected. Children often face the harsh realities

844
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 3: of broken homes and crime, and they need our protection.

845
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 3: They are innocent and didn't choose to be born into

846
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,800
Speaker 3: this world, so they need us more than we realize.

847
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 3: As parents, we may feel we're not doing enough or

848
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 3: wish we could change things, but the past is behind

849
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,359
Speaker 3: us and all we can do is strive to be better.

850
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: I have legal rights to both of my children. Okay,

851
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 3: so hope he already has that. Oh wow. For my oldest,

852
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 3: the courts granted me full custody after her mother abandoned her,

853
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: and I don't receive child support nor want any from her.

854
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 3: For my youngest, I have joint guardianship, which is different

855
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 3: from adoption or full guardianship, and visitation. Her mother suggested

856
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 3: that since she sees me as her daughter's only father,

857
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 3: while adoption isn't possible right now due to her age

858
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 3: and our unmarried status, we're safe on that front. The

859
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 3: courts typically require a stronger bond but for approving adoption,

860
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 3: even if we feel it differently. During my breakup with

861
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 3: my youngest daughter's mother, she deeply regretted her mistake and

862
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 3: tried to make amends and wanted to continue our relationship. However,

863
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 3: I couldn't move past it, though I still love and

864
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 3: care for her as the mother of my child and

865
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 3: a good friend. She has since moved on but still

866
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 3: views me as her child's only father. Despite her mistakes.

867
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 3: I know she's worked hard to better herself, and I

868
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 3: forgave her a long time ago. To be fair, this

869
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 3: relationship was the quickest I've ever been in and it

870
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: was only my third one in my entire life. My

871
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 3: first relationship lasted years, starting when we were both fourteen,

872
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 3: and my second came over a year later. After going

873
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 3: through tough therapy to cope with the challenges of being

874
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 3: a single father at such a young age. Moving forward,

875
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 3: I plan to focus on therapy, spend time at home

876
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 3: with my kids and work on my small cafe business

877
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 3: here in the valley. But there is an.

878
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 4: Update, Oh boy, another one.

879
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 3: So is this a California person?

880
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 4: Perhaps that the value that you're referencing, any thought, I

881
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 4: feel like I think that's answering a lot of questions

882
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 4: we had about adoption and everything. Really, yeah, yeah.

883
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,720
Speaker 3: We understand that it literally has like some legal rights

884
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 3: to this child or to taking care of this child,

885
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 3: right right. So even more so, it's like all the

886
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 3: people who are saying, you know, oh, why do you

887
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 3: want to take care of this it's not even your child.

888
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 3: It's like legally like she is.

889
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, that's just so weird. You just gotta get

890
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 4: away from these people minds your business, exactly.

891
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 3: Honestly, all of this really blindsided me. Looking back, she

892
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 3: seemed perfect. It was always doing little things for me,

893
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 3: randomly getting me gifts and even cooking for me when

894
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 3: she stayed over. She'd initiate intimacy every time, and I

895
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 3: get these constant steeny photos from her. So it honestly

896
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 3: seemed like she was really happy and content with everything.

897
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 3: I thought I lucked out and found someone who truly

898
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 3: understood me and made me feel valued. But in hindsight,

899
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 3: it's clear that people are better at hiding things than

900
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,879
Speaker 3: we often realized. She clearly wasn't okay with any of it,

901
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,919
Speaker 3: and I had no idea. It's crazy how someone could

902
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 3: put on such a perfect front and completely seem like

903
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 3: a different person the next day. Anyways, after my post

904
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 3: gained some traction that same night, I sent a brief

905
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 3: text to her saying that I'm sorry for the way

906
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 3: she feels and that we aren't right for each other,

907
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 3: and that my daughter will always be my daughter no

908
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 3: matter what. My love for my girls will always be

909
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: greater than Later last night, I was just hanging out

910
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 3: with my girls watching Moana too in my room. We

911
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,439
Speaker 3: all passed down bed thinking it would be a peaceful night,

912
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 3: But at two am, I was woken by a loud

913
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 3: banging on my door, which said to wave a panic

914
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 3: through me. I immediately woke up, grabbed my piece and went

915
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 3: to see what was going on. It was my now

916
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 3: ex girlfriend, stumbling, wasted and emotional, completely out of control.

917
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: She was pounding on the door, yelling and crying, and

918
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 3: honestly it terrified me and probably my kids as well.

919
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 3: When I opened the door, there. She was standing there,

920
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 3: begging to talk and wanting me to hear her out

921
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 3: some more. To make matters worse, my oldest came to

922
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 3: the door, since she too wanted to know what was happening. No,

923
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: I quickly told her to watch over her little sister,

924
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 3: making sure she was okay. Well, I dealt with the situation.

925
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 3: My oldest went into big sister mode, which made me

926
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 3: proud in that moment. Realizing that things were probably getting

927
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 3: out of hand and that I couldn't get her to

928
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 3: calm down, I knew I had to do something. I

929
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 3: called the police and explain that my wasted ex was

930
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,800
Speaker 3: at my door refusing to leave. Within less than ten minutes,

931
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 3: a police car pulled up and they quickly took her

932
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: into The situation was over, just like that, and I

933
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 3: haven't heard from her since. The officer suggested I file

934
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 3: a restraining order, which I already planned to do. After

935
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 3: everything that happened, Wow, I mean like wow, crazy that

936
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 3: it escalated, yes, you know, extent.

937
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, and just even more reason not to be with

938
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 4: this person.

939
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 3: Truly, truly. Then, just a few hours ago, I got

940
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 3: a call from an unknown number. It was a friend

941
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 3: of hers, asking if I had seen her, and it

942
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 3: felt so good to tell her that her friend was

943
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 3: probably in jail and that she wasn't my responsibility anymore,

944
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 3: since she wasn't even my blood. That suggestion came from

945
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,240
Speaker 3: a comment on my last post, and it honestly felt

946
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 3: so empowering to finally set that boundary. Yeah, it's like, oh,

947
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: we're not legally married or related or anything, so I

948
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 3: don't have any responsibility to her.

949
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can figure it out on your own.

950
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's your thoughts of my daughter, so clearly I

951
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:07,800
Speaker 3: don't have any responsibity to your daughter exactly, or sister.

952
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 3: Now things are starting to calm down and I can

953
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 3: focus on taking care of my kids and myself. I

954
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 3: have blocked everyone associated with her and plan on just

955
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 3: living for now and doing what I can to be

956
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 3: the best dad. I mean, I think you're doing a

957
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 3: great job so far. Totally. Maybe one day I will

958
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 3: show my girls this post in times if they ever

959
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 3: feel alone in this world, to let them know that

960
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 3: Daddy will always have their back. He's such a good

961
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: dad for such a young man. To my wonderful children.

962
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 3: I am proud of you and will always be no

963
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 3: matter who comes into our lives. I will always choose

964
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 3: to be your father first and never last. I cannot

965
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 3: wait to see what amazing things you do in this

966
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 3: world and what amazing things you will do for others.

967
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 3: And when my time eventually comes, know this you will

968
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 3: both always be my greatest achievement. I love you so much. Ah,

969
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 3: that's so sweet. Yeah, that's the end of that story. Wow,

970
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 3: what a sweet thing. That's so sweet. A sh love

971
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 3: that Go would be a great dad. Oh, pe Go

972
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 3: continued to I know I have no suggestion or advice,

973
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 3: you've no notes. Handle that perfectly. Yeah, absolutely, and good

974
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 3: riddance truly, But that has time for us to rid

975
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,760
Speaker 3: you of this episode. Yes, at the end of it.

976
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: I'm considering having a baby with my friend. But it's complicated.

977
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 3: That sounds complicated.

978
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 6: I know this sounds crazy, but please read the whole post.

979
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 6: I am a widow. I lost my husband a little

980
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 6: over three years ago. It's a really long story for

981
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 6: another post, but we had been trying to have a

982
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 6: baby together before he passed. That is sad. By the way,

983
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 6: this comes from small shops and if you want to

984
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 6: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

985
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,240
Speaker 6: Storytime sub reddit. So my best friend, who I'll call Chris,

986
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 6: was my husband's best friend. We were good friends when

987
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 6: my husband was still there, but we bonded a lot

988
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 6: after his passing. Chris is also witt although his wife

989
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 6: passed away before I knew him. Having been through what

990
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 6: I was going through and also losing his best friend,

991
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 6: we really leaned on each other the last few years

992
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 6: for love and support. We are best friends now and

993
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 6: I don't know what I would do without them. I

994
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 6: feel like a huge part of my life is empty.

995
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 6: I feel a visceral need to have a baby. I

996
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 6: know I sound crazy. When I lost my husband, it

997
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 6: also felt like I lost the life we didn't get

998
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 6: to have together, Like I lost a baby we're trying

999
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 6: for and the family we could have been. Oh. I

1000
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 6: want nothing more in life than to be a mother.

1001
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 6: It's always something I wanted for myself, something I've always

1002
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 6: looked forward to. I know there's a big child free

1003
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 6: lifestyle community here and read it, so this may be

1004
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 6: difficult to relate for some, but it's what I want

1005
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 6: for myself. I'm educated and very successful in my career.

1006
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 6: I'm financially stable. I'm ready for the next chapter. In

1007
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 6: my life. I know I could just go to the

1008
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 6: baby juice bank or adopt and a raise of baby myself,

1009
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 6: but I would really prefer my child to have a

1010
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 6: father the old fashioned way. I grew up with the

1011
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 6: most amazing dad, and I don't want to purposely bring

1012
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 6: a child into the world without a father that will

1013
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 6: love him like my dad loved me. I know I

1014
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 6: could wain around until I meet the right guy, but

1015
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 6: that isn't something I'm certain is in the cards for me.

1016
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 4: Maybe the right guy was right in front of you,

1017
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 4: best friend all along.

1018
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, maybe the right guy was your husband's right hand guy.

1019
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:11,919
Speaker 3: Sure.

1020
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,360
Speaker 6: Well, last week Chris and I got together, had a

1021
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 6: few drinks. I see he was in the chat, put

1022
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 6: some ices, and I opened up to him about how

1023
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 6: badly I wanted to be a parent.

1024
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 3: She's like, I want to be a parent so.

1025
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 6: Bad right now, baby, Christly.

1026
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 3: I honestly be a parent with anybody. Yeah, honestly person

1027
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 3: across the table from.

1028
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 2: First mail, I see parent.

1029
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 1: He shared the same feelings with me. So Chris, o

1030
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: man o, man, oh man, it's gonna get hot and bothered.

1031
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: It was so nice to talk with someone who I

1032
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 1: can really relate to and he feels the exact same

1033
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,839
Speaker 1: way as I do, like he is missing a huge

1034
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: part of his life. He said, we should have a

1035
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: baby together, he said, in it half jokingly way at first,

1036
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 1: but it grew from there. Nah, we're not again, we're

1037
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: not talking about the baby. We're talking about something else

1038
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: that grew from there and now we're seriously considering it.

1039
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 3: No, you both you both were seriously considering it. You

1040
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:22,800
Speaker 3: just were like, hah, wouldn't it be great baby together?

1041
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 6: Right?

1042
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: I mean, like I mean it wouldn't be that crazy.

1043
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: I mean, like that would be so so crazy, but

1044
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: like we've been such good friends, like it, like you

1045
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: know we could we couldn't do it, but like we

1046
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: should it because it's it's crazy.

1047
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 6: It's crazy. I mean but people do it all the time. Yeah,

1048
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 6: people do all the Like I know Sally that just

1049
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 6: did it. I mean they're crazy, but like not that

1050
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 6: much crazier than us. Like I mean, like we could

1051
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 6: be crazy. We could be crazy. I mean we have

1052
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 6: been crazy before. Like I mean, do you want to

1053
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:48,760
Speaker 6: be you want to be crazy?

1054
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 3: Let's do it.

1055
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 6: I know, Chris would be an amazing dad. I'm trying

1056
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 6: to look at it objectively, but obviously it's a very

1057
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 6: emotionally charged topic. As I see it, the worst case

1058
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 6: scenario is that we share custody of the child, but

1059
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,799
Speaker 6: a child has two parents who love him or her.

1060
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,839
Speaker 6: It's no different than a divorced couple with a kid.

1061
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 6: We're both well off and we can afford a great

1062
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 6: Laura to write a rock solid parenting agreement for us.

1063
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 6: The best case scenario is we raise the child together

1064
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 6: as a team. We all practically live together, have the

1065
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 6: same parenting views and the same morals in general. I

1066
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 6: could go on forever. Why we think it's a good idea?

1067
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 6: What is your opinion? Am I completely crazy for considering this?

1068
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 3: I don't think so.

1069
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 6: We have some relevant comments, we got an update, but chats.

1070
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 3: People have children for worse.

1071
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 6: Reasons, so many reasons, But the teald are of this.

1072
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,800
Speaker 6: Two widowed best friends support each other through loss, considering

1073
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 6: having a baby together due to a mutual desire for

1074
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,760
Speaker 6: parenthood and a longing to share that with a co parent.

1075
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 6: I think I think that is this gonna turn romantic?

1076
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 3: I think so.

1077
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 6: I think how could or not? How could or not?

1078
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 3: I think it's on that way. I think the fact

1079
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 3: that they even are considering they both had the same idea.

1080
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 3: They both had the same idea, and they're not even

1081
00:47:58,520 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 3: a little bit into each other.

1082
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,280
Speaker 6: As he says, I'm sure he is a rock solid

1083
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,240
Speaker 6: proposition for her. Oh well, we got some relevant comments,

1084
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 6: not bad advice, says Opie to me, It's clear you

1085
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 6: were asking for permission to love Chris romantically. The baby

1086
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 6: is a pretext you have it. There is nothing your

1087
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 6: husband would have wanted more for you to be happy,

1088
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 6: and what better way than loving someone who was also

1089
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 6: so important to him. Put your guilt aside and start

1090
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 6: a true relationship with Chris. Not only will you not

1091
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 6: regret it, it will ensure you honor your husband's memory

1092
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 6: together forever. Every time that you and Chris embrace in

1093
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 6: loving and loving embrace under the sheets together. I want

1094
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 6: you to call out your past away husband's name, just

1095
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 6: to make sure he feels included his name. Yeah, say

1096
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 6: his name together. It can be a fun little thing,

1097
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 6: a little bonding thing anyway, Kirie Girl says Opie. Look

1098
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 6: at how many people have upvoted this post and agree

1099
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 6: with the statement. You and Chris want the same things.

1100
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 6: You like each other enough to have some and loved

1101
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 6: each other through very difficult things. You've done things that

1102
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 6: married couples sometimes don't make it through. That speaks huge

1103
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 6: of your relationship. Get together, make beautiful babies and create

1104
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 6: a wonderful life together. We love that, We love that,

1105
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 6: We love that. That is so cute. That is so cute?

1106
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 6: And Drew Mighty says, why not date and try making

1107
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 6: a baby together? Are your feelings non romantic? I mean

1108
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 6: you want to raise a baby with him? That says

1109
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 6: something right there? Why did you feel guilty? And op response?

1110
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 6: All right, well, it's not that I haven't considered it,

1111
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 6: but it would just feel wrong. We actually kissed once,

1112
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 6: but I felt so guilty about it. When did you kiss?

1113
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 6: Did you kiss when he was alive?

1114
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:35,759
Speaker 4: No?

1115
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 3: No, no, this is post for sure?

1116
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:38,919
Speaker 2: I hope so post for sure.

1117
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 3: But she feels guilty because of her husband's deceasment.

1118
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 6: Kimberly find says it gets worse. No, oh no, we're

1119
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 6: only halfway through. We're only halfway through. Kimberly find says,

1120
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 6: it gets worse.

1121
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 3: O me, No, I'm happy?

1122
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 6: Oh no oh no we kissed once? When when did

1123
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 6: you kiss once?

1124
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 3: Oh? After? After?

1125
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 6: When did you kiss once? Well, it just doesn't feel right.

1126
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 6: I felt like I was betraying my husband.

1127
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 3: Yeah post post This was after he was just passed update.

1128
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 6: After reading everyone's comments, I was feeling really conflicted, so

1129
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 6: I told Chris what.

1130
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 3: What all the comments were saying? Go for it, girl.

1131
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 6: I didn't think we could move forward with having a

1132
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 6: baby together until I knew whether or not we'd ever

1133
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 6: be together as a couple. Okay, he told me he

1134
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 6: was just waiting for me to be ready, and then

1135
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 6: we had spicy sleep, So I'm ready.

1136
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 3: There we go like, literally, whatever you want? Girls?

1137
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 6: So that seed? Chris. Yes, I know. I said that

1138
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 6: I felt guilty when we kissed, but I didn't mention

1139
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 6: that that was two years ago. I expected to still

1140
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 6: feel guilty, but I don't. I just feel really happy.

1141
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 6: We both have been off work last couple of days,

1142
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 6: so we've been spending one hundred percent of our time together.

1143
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 6: It's so nice being with him. Been a long time coming.

1144
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, Oh yeah, he's got jokes.

1145
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: Oh he's got jokes, and she's got that seed inside her,

1146
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,840
Speaker 1: both both jokes and seed.

1147
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 6: What am I going to do with you? As for

1148
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 6: having a baby. Out of speaking of seed, we both

1149
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 6: still really want to do that, but now we have

1150
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 6: to figure out how that fits into us having a

1151
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 6: romantic relationship. The responsible thing would probably be to weights.

1152
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 6: I don't know. A few years, it has been really

1153
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 6: hard to actively prevent against something that we want to happen,

1154
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 6: so we're not really being as careful as we should be.

1155
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 6: They're doing it wrong. Any advice, I'm feeling like I

1156
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 6: can't think straight about it. I can already tell it's

1157
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,360
Speaker 6: going to be hard to take it slow. We live together.

1158
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:34,800
Speaker 6: We both own our own homes, but he is renting

1159
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,839
Speaker 6: his out now. I work from home. He only works

1160
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 6: a couple of days a week, so we spend a

1161
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:40,880
Speaker 6: ton of time together. We were already living like a

1162
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 6: couple that just didn't have spicy sleep, and now we are.

1163
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 2: There was so much tension.

1164
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 3: I need a book about this asap well.

1165
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 6: So I'm not sure how to take it slow or

1166
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 6: if we should even bother. Also, I don't know how

1167
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 6: to tell my parents what's going on, or if I

1168
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 6: should tell them at all. They don't like that I'm

1169
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 6: friends with Chris or any of my husband's other friends,

1170
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 6: and would be even more upset to know that we're together. Now.

1171
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 6: They want me to distance myself as much as possible

1172
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 6: for my old life, as they call it, and express

1173
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 6: their disappointment about my failure to do so every time

1174
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 6: I speak to them. By the way, you should never

1175
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 6: fail to listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

1176
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 6: Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

1177
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 6: and search. Okay, storytime, there's another relevant update. But let's discuss.

1178
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,719
Speaker 6: What do we think, Sophia. Do you think this is

1179
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 6: a good move for them to get together?

1180
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 3: I think so. I think they're all doing the right thing.

1181
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: I think also that it seems like they've at least

1182
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 3: had some sort of feelings for about two years, so

1183
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:44,240
Speaker 3: it doesn't feel necessarily like intensely rushed. They've been living together.

1184
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,439
Speaker 6: Yeah wait wait, Also, how when did the husband pass away?

1185
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:52,439
Speaker 6: When you look at that keon, No, because the kiss

1186
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:56,360
Speaker 6: was two years ago, I don't know when. Angela Connolly says,

1187
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 6: three years.

1188
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: Ago, three years ago, three years year after the past.

1189
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 6: Oh, I think that's okay.

1190
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:01,919
Speaker 3: I think it's fine.

1191
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 6: I think that's okay.

1192
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 3: Like this and she felt super guilty and didn't do

1193
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 3: anything else.

1194
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's fine. When my husband has toway, my mom

1195
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 6: went behind my back and told my in laws that

1196
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 6: I requested they keep their distance from me and it

1197
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 6: makes me depressed to talk to them. Not true, by

1198
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,479
Speaker 6: the way, I felt more depressed not talking to them,

1199
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 6: And although I found out the truth much later, we

1200
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 6: barely talk now because we weren't there for each other

1201
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 6: when we needed to. That's messed up. Wow, relevant comments,

1202
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 6: Moonlighter says, First off, congrats. Second, as far as your

1203
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 6: mom goes, you might need to do some serious reflection.

1204
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 6: Is she the kind of person you want your child's

1205
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 6: life at all. We obviously don't know the full story,

1206
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 6: but she is not supportive and has done some bad

1207
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 6: things in the past. Thirdly, I know you said it's

1208
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,959
Speaker 6: hard to take it slow, but I still think you should.

1209
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 6: Maybe you don't wait a few years. But I don't

1210
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,439
Speaker 6: know about rushing into this. There really isn't any rush

1211
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 6: at all. You're hopefully going to be together for a

1212
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,360
Speaker 6: long time. You aren't that old, so you're not pushing

1213
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 6: the age aspect of pregnancy yet. I just think it

1214
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,240
Speaker 6: would be a good idea to get some birth control

1215
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 6: and revisit the issues in a few months after things

1216
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 6: have settled down. Nope, he responds, I can't imagine not

1217
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 6: having her in my life, but she has been really,

1218
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 6: really crap to me in the past. Our family is

1219
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,640
Speaker 6: pretty close, though, so if I stopped talking to her,

1220
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 6: it would be hard on everyone. And deleted says, are

1221
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 6: you sure that there isn't a knee knucklehead reaction to

1222
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,359
Speaker 6: the onslot of people in the last post telling you

1223
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 6: not to have a baby because in the last post

1224
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 6: you kept saying he was just a friend, you were

1225
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 6: interested in him romantically, and now suddenly, bam, we are

1226
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 6: a couple. But this is real romance. Great congratulations, But

1227
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,959
Speaker 6: I really can't stress enough that you should get into

1228
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 6: counseling to talk through this, because you seem to be

1229
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 6: allowing yourself to be guided by strong emotions and speak

1230
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 6: a lot of being of not being able to go slow,

1231
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 6: about being confused, about feeling like you can't think straight.

1232
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 6: That's not the mindset of someone who should be making

1233
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 6: huge life decisions. Please get into counseling. What do you

1234
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 6: think about that?

1235
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:48,879
Speaker 3: Fear boring? I want love, adoring, I want to love,

1236
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 3: give me baby, Oh give me.

1237
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 6: I think you should explore the thing romantically for sure.

1238
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 6: I don't know if you should go straight to.

1239
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 3: Baby, I do, but h jump into that relationship.

1240
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 1: Man, jow me that relationship. Yeah, I mean like, like

1241
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 1: do they do the relationship for a year? See how

1242
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 1: you feel?

1243
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 6: And then yeah later and Op responds, Hi, you accidentally

1244
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 6: posted four times. It's not a knee knucklehead reaction. People

1245
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 6: were asking me why we weren't together, and I didn't

1246
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 6: really have an answer for them. I knew that I

1247
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 6: didn't want to have a kid with him if I

1248
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 6: wasn't completely certain I didn't have feelings for him, because

1249
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 6: that would be a recipe before disaster. And when I

1250
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 6: told him that, he told me that he's just been

1251
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,280
Speaker 6: waiting for me to be ready for the last two years.

1252
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 6: My initial thought was, why did it take so long

1253
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 6: to tell him this? Because we could have been together

1254
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,760
Speaker 6: a long time ago, and I am seeing a therapist

1255
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 6: and that's where that ends.

1256
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, go get that? Maybe go get that baby.

1257
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 2: Maybe it seems like it seems like a cup.

1258
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 3: Okay, I think everything's fine, Everything went fine, everything's okay.

1259
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 6: Pretty sick. We got a happy ending.

1260
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to

1261
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 2: the stories.

1262
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,040
Speaker 6: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1263
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:54,919
Speaker 6: like keep the show going.

1264
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 1: My best friend complained constantly at my wedding, so I'm

1265
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 1: kicking her out if.

1266
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 3: You're complain about my wed and you're not gonna.

1267
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 6: See it at all. So my husband thirty three mail,

1268
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 6: we'll call them Nathan and I thirty two male, got

1269
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 6: married in November. We decided on a very small and

1270
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 6: intimate elopement in Colorado with my son six Mail, Nathan's pastor,

1271
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 6: his two best friends. The groom's been a few of

1272
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 6: the church friends that took care of the instrumentals, lighting

1273
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 6: and video, and my ex best friend ooh cool spoilers

1274
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 6: who will call Karen my maid of honor. By the way,

1275
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 6: this comes from Little bo Ganja. If you want to

1276
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 6: submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay storytimes.

1277
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 6: So I wrote it. So I booked a beautiful Airbnb

1278
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 6: cabin for our day. It had a stunning master bedroom

1279
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:43,439
Speaker 6: and enough guess beds for the bridal party's day free

1280
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:43,960
Speaker 6: of charge.

1281
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 3: Woo.

1282
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 6: Nathan paid for the entire Airbnb by himself since I

1283
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 6: paid for my dress and plane tickets for myself and

1284
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 6: my son. Nathan also paid for the food that they

1285
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 6: stalked the Airbnb with before we got there. Now, Karen,

1286
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 6: Karen and I have been best friends for nearly eighteen years. Karen,

1287
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 6: he is a self absorbed person. Karen is also very

1288
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:08,919
Speaker 6: much dependent on the green and I'm fairly sure she's

1289
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:12,439
Speaker 6: undiagnosed bipolar or something because the way this woman could

1290
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 6: go from zero to one hundred, which mode is both

1291
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 6: shocking and appalling. Her husband gets the brunt of it,

1292
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 6: and I feel so bad for him. We have stayed

1293
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 6: friends with her for that long because I'm a recovering

1294
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 6: pleable pleaser and I knew I was the only friend

1295
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 6: she had left, so I felt bad in stayed in contact,

1296
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 6: hanging out only when she asked, which became much less

1297
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 6: frequent over the years. Truthfully, I wasn't even going to

1298
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 6: invite to her to be part of my wedding, but

1299
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 6: at one point her children's birthday parties about two months prior,

1300
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 6: she asked me when was the next time I was

1301
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 6: going to Colorado, where my husband lives, because we were

1302
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 6: doing LDR. We live together now it's LDR long distance relationship.

1303
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 6: This is when I spilled the beans about the wedding,

1304
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,479
Speaker 6: and then she said she was coming with me because

1305
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 6: she needed a vacation away. I was not thrilled, but

1306
00:57:57,800 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 6: figured at least i'd have someone to stand on my

1307
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 6: side now. But you want that one, you want that person.

1308
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 6: You want that person be your maid of honor. Like

1309
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 6: that's crazy, that's like a sacred position in.

1310
00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 3: The Yeah, you don't got anyone else.

1311
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 6: I should mention when we texted about it afterwards. I

1312
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 6: asked her if there was anything in particular you'd like

1313
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 6: to do or go see, since it would be her

1314
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 6: first time in Colorado. He responded saying she didn't care

1315
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 6: that we could do anything I wanted since it was

1316
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 6: my wedding weekend, that it should be all about me

1317
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 6: and Nathan, and that she'd be fine to just hang

1318
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 6: out in the Airbnb and watch my son if we

1319
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 6: wanted to go do stuff on her own or something

1320
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 6: that she didn't want to do, like go hiking. She

1321
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 6: made all these different excuses as to why she couldn't

1322
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 6: hike and gave me some serious attitude when I tried

1323
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 6: suggesting solutions and ways for her to join us on

1324
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 6: the hike to make it more comfortable for her. So

1325
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 6: he's trying to include her and she's like, no hiking stinks,

1326
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,920
Speaker 6: hiking stinks. I don't like it. I don't like it

1327
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 6: at all. Literally nothing strendy with it at all. And

1328
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 6: I offered her ample clothing for warmth. Again, why are

1329
00:58:55,600 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 6: you trying to include someone who's so obviously yeah, exactly

1330
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 6: the worst. I was simply trying to make sure she

1331
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,360
Speaker 6: felt included, but I was met with are you a

1332
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 6: stupid types of responses with major attitude. Remember this for later,

1333
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 6: So I think we're gonna get some Yeah, I can't

1334
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 6: forget it anyways. A week prior to the chip, Karen

1335
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 6: asked me to have Nathan get her little Green Puff

1336
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 6: Puff vape for when we get off at the airplane,

1337
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 6: because she said, the moment I get in the car,

1338
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,439
Speaker 6: I need it because my anxiety will be through the roof.

1339
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 6: After dealing with the airport, I mentioned it to Nathan

1340
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 6: a few times over the week, but his busy schedule

1341
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 6: didn't allow him time to go to the dispensary, which

1342
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 6: was forty plus minutes out of the way. Karen was

1343
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 6: livid that there would be no substances ready for her.

1344
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 6: Nathan assured her we would stop on the way to

1345
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 6: the airbnb and she could pick up whatever she wanted.

1346
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 6: What Karen failed to mention until we pulled up to

1347
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 6: the dispensary was that her driver's license was expired. So

1348
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 6: she tried to go in, and it was even more

1349
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 6: pissed when the women at the desk turned her away.

1350
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 6: She got back in the car and screamed at me

1351
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 6: that this is why he needed to get the vape

1352
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 6: before I got here, as if this was our fault

1353
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 6: in our problem, so we're already off, just tell her

1354
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 6: start why she's still here. Nathan went into the dispensary

1355
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 6: and accidentally got the wrong thing, so I went in

1356
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 6: with him second time and tried to get the arrow

1357
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 6: cartriage she was talking about. I must have misunderstood or

1358
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 6: got my wires crossed when she was screaming like a

1359
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 6: banshee about not having the vape pen ready for her

1360
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 6: when she got off the plane, because I thought she

1361
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 6: said she had her arrow battery in her bag, but

1362
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 6: apparently it was at home and this dispensary did not

1363
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 6: have batteries in stock. She became even more I rates,

1364
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 6: so Nathan went back in one final time to get

1365
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 6: her a different disposable vape. As we drove to the

1366
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:35,480
Speaker 6: grocery store, for sacks. I took a deep breath, hoping

1367
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 6: since the beast had her substance and it was about

1368
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 6: to get a stickers bar, she would finally calm down.

1369
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 4: The reason is because she's yeah, you like, there are

1370
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 4: definitely different ways of reacting.

1371
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 6: We go inside and I'm just browsing, chilling and picking

1372
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 6: out my snacks when she starts to become visibly annoyed.

1373
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 6: But how long I'm taking We weren't in the store

1374
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 6: for more than ten minutes at this point, so I

1375
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 6: head to the checkout line and pay while Nathan goes

1376
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,560
Speaker 6: she's a back room since forty five minute drive to

1377
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 6: the airbnb, and can you guess who was pissed off

1378
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 6: to wait for him. So now we get to the Airbnb,

1379
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 6: the good old boys, the groomsmen, are cooking dinner and

1380
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 6: waiting to help us get inside. Since it had snowed

1381
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 6: at least a foot that day, the steep driveway wasn't

1382
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 6: plowed for Nathan's vegan car to drive up. His words,

1383
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 6: not mine. The boys grabbed her bags and drove us

1384
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 6: up the driveway in one of their trucks. More contexts More,

1385
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 6: Both the groomsmen are military friends of Nathan who is

1386
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 6: an eight year Army veteran for himself, and Frinday is happy, cheery,

1387
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,320
Speaker 6: sweetheart who I adore as my son's new uncle. Watching

1388
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 6: him and my son play warm my heart so much

1389
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 6: that it could have burst from joy. Friend b you

1390
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 6: were call him. Cal is much more reserved and quiet,

1391
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 6: a darker personality. He's been through a lot and struggles

1392
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 6: with depression, but he's a good guy at heart, and

1393
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 6: we love him no matter what. I made sure Karen

1394
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 6: knew and thought she understood that if Kaw doesn't talk

1395
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 6: to her or respond or show us interest in things,

1396
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 6: not take it personally, and said, please don't get offended.

1397
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,080
Speaker 6: It's not you to him. Think Kle is actually the

1398
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 6: one making us dinner that night. Ka also helped shovel

1399
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 6: the porch area so we could get inside the cabin,

1400
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 6: and it was Cal who drove his truck to help

1401
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 6: us get up the hill. Frenday also helped, of course,

1402
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:08,760
Speaker 6: but Cow did a lot, so thank yous were in order.

1403
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 6: Karen became offended the very first night when Cal didn't

1404
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 6: say you're welcome after she said thank you for dinner.

1405
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 3: Thank you any dead, and you're welcome.

1406
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: How dare you you should say thank you for how

1407
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 1: you're welcome.

1408
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. She probably like steezed and someone forgot to say yeah.

1409
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 6: I assured her Cow didn't acknowledge anyone thank you, even mine,

1410
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 6: just how he is. I reminded her not to take

1411
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 6: offense because it's not personal. She didn't accept this. The

1412
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 6: next day was our rehearsal at church, but Karen said

1413
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 6: she needed to get a pair of warm boots. This

1414
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 6: all she bought was a pair of boat shoes and

1415
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 6: her dress shoes. She knew there would be snow, so

1416
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 6: I don't understand why she didn't pack for the weather

1417
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 6: we'd be in, but we made the adjustment. Originally, she said,

1418
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 6: I don't care where we go. We could go to

1419
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 6: Walmart and I'll just find any pair of boots because

1420
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:00,280
Speaker 6: my feet are freezing and my shoes or what. Then

1421
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 6: at some point she started asking what place sells uggs.

1422
01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 6: Nathan didn't know at the top of his head, so

1423
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 6: I did my best to search on my phone. As

1424
01:03:06,880 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 6: we started driving, I saw Walmart and told Nathan to

1425
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 6: pull in, so he parks. We get out of the car,

1426
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:15,200
Speaker 6: start walking towards the door, and suddenly Karen no longer

1427
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 6: just wants some cheap pair of Walmart boots. No, they

1428
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 6: must be ugs. I Karen needs oggs. Yeah, no, free

1429
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 6: sponsors dogs. You made sure I knew how stupid I

1430
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 6: must be to think she would wear poor people knock

1431
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 6: off ugs from Walmart's annoyed and biting my tongue. We

1432
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:30,959
Speaker 6: set off for one of the locations that my phone

1433
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 6: says sells ugs. We get there, they don't have them,

1434
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 6: so she's mad. We end up going to the mall

1435
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 6: that's much further away because they would one hundred percent

1436
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 6: have them, and I just wanted her to stop with

1437
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 6: the attitude. But even though she got her ugs, he

1438
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 6: still found things to complain about before even leaving them all.

1439
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:50,800
Speaker 6: I don't know what's up with this because this person sucks. Yeah, sorry,

1440
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:56,439
Speaker 6: that's this behavior sucks. This is behavior that you don't

1441
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 6: invite to one of your most momentous moments.

1442
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 3: This type of behavior should catch a flight back to

1443
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 3: wherever it came from.

1444
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:05,920
Speaker 6: This behavior should be uninvited from the wedding.

1445
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,840
Speaker 3: This behavior is not the type of behavior you want

1446
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 3: as in your maid of honor.

1447
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 6: Hundred hundred get this behavior out of here, so now

1448
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 6: we get to the church rehearsal, and everything seemed fun

1449
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 6: until Karen walked up to me and starts complaining about

1450
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 6: cal again, telling me she thanked him when he held

1451
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 6: out the door open for her, so the least he

1452
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,120
Speaker 6: could do is effing respond. She went on to say,

1453
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 6: it's not my fault he's soft in the head. Well,

1454
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 6: don't make him more aft in the head by complaining

1455
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 6: and being annoying. At this point, I was livid, practically

1456
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 6: binding through my tongue, and I knew our friendship was

1457
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 6: over after this weekend.

1458
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 3: This was that was the moment, not anything else.

1459
01:04:47,160 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 6: I told myself to just be nice, get through the weekend,

1460
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 6: and never speak to her again after she goes home.

1461
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 6: I have dealt with her behavior much like this for

1462
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:57,600
Speaker 6: the full eighteen years we've been friends. Caused many fights,

1463
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 6: but I had always found a way to forgive her.

1464
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 6: Like I said, I am a recovering people pleaser. I've

1465
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 6: been working hard to stand up for myself and less

1466
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 6: self absorbed person because behaviors out of my life are

1467
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,160
Speaker 6: the roots. And that night a switch just flipped in

1468
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 6: me and I no longer cared to make her happy anymore.

1469
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,720
Speaker 6: I just wanted to enjoy my wedding weekend and be

1470
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 6: done with her. The next day was my wedding. We're

1471
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 6: getting ready in the church bathroom, and I gave her

1472
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 6: a corsage that matched my bouquet. I noticed she still

1473
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,480
Speaker 6: had her Apple Watch on her other wrist as she

1474
01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 6: was finished getting ready, so I simply said, as nicely

1475
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 6: as possible, Oh, don't forget to take that off before

1476
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 6: we go out, pointing to her watch. Her response was

1477
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 6: instantly nasty, zero two one hundred, saying I'm not taking

1478
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 6: this off. I have three kids at home. There's no

1479
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 6: way I'm going to be this far from them with

1480
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:43,720
Speaker 6: no contact. You might as well have thought I slapped

1481
01:05:43,720 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 6: her across the face and told her to leave her

1482
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,720
Speaker 6: phone at the Airbnb for the whole day, not just

1483
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 6: a tech free thirty minute wedding ceremony. She's like, don't

1484
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:54,480
Speaker 6: have a phone at the wedding for thirty minutes? How

1485
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 6: dare you? What if one of my kids is choking?

1486
01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:58,120
Speaker 6: What if one of my kids is.

1487
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 3: To put my phone on the phone?

1488
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:02,120
Speaker 6: How are you doing?

1489
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 3: Good? Fine?

1490
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 6: Fine?

1491
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 3: What did I have to check out my children?

1492
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 6: After angrily texting her husband, she ends up switching the

1493
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 6: watch to her other wrists and talking it under the corsage.

1494
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 6: I'm sure you mentioned this to her since he was

1495
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 6: a good head on his shoulders, Like, why did this

1496
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 6: have to be so dramatic. The ceremony goes beautifully and

1497
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:21,919
Speaker 6: we all stand around talking for a bit before getting

1498
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 6: ready to go to the brewery we reserved for our

1499
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,080
Speaker 6: dinner and the cake cutting. I told them I needed

1500
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:29,640
Speaker 6: to pin up the train of my dress before we go,

1501
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 6: so I go into the big stall to take off

1502
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 6: my dress and pin up the train, since only I

1503
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 6: knew how to do it, And meanwhile Kara went into

1504
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:38,200
Speaker 6: the other stalls to take off her dress and put

1505
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:41,120
Speaker 6: on some jeans and a sweatshirt. I honestly would not

1506
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 6: have cared if she wanted to wear that to her

1507
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 6: little reception, But when I came out, she saw I

1508
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:49,000
Speaker 6: was stole my dress and she flipped out, screaming at me,

1509
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:51,080
Speaker 6: asking why I was still wearing my wedding dress and

1510
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 6: claiming that I told her I was changing into something else.

1511
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 6: I told her I never said that, and stated I

1512
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,720
Speaker 6: told both her and my son separately, but in front

1513
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 6: of her as I entered the stall, that I was

1514
01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 6: just pinning up my train, so it wasn't dragging on

1515
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:05,560
Speaker 6: the floor while we go eat dinner. I was very

1516
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 6: specific in my wording, especially as I explained it to

1517
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 6: my son while she was standing four feet away. Karen

1518
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:15,200
Speaker 6: storms back into the stall, slams things, putting her maid

1519
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 6: of Honor dress back on again. Why is this person here?

1520
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:21,920
Speaker 6: I don't understand how you didn't see how this behavior

1521
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 6: is just not worthy of your life to make a wish,

1522
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 6: to make a wish.

1523
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 1: She's to make a wish kid for final wish? Yeah,

1524
01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:32,960
Speaker 1: but for friends? Yeah yeah, well your last wish as

1525
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,840
Speaker 1: my friend of eighteen years and soon to be ex friends.

1526
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:37,720
Speaker 3: It's like whenever you're about to get rid of a friend,

1527
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 3: you have to do you have to do like and

1528
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 3: make a wish for them.

1529
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 6: Yeah. It's like it's like like your dog's last day

1530
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 6: before you put them down. It's like, we're gonna give

1531
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 6: you the best food. Yeah, We're gonna go on a

1532
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:51,840
Speaker 6: big walk and then boom. Karen storms back into the stall,

1533
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,520
Speaker 6: slamming things and putting her made of honor dress back on.

1534
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 6: It was a dress that she picked and paid for herself.

1535
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:59,920
Speaker 6: I just requested the color to be either mov or wine,

1536
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 6: and it was definitely not an expensive dress by any means,

1537
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 6: about fifty dollars, and she complained about feeling insecure that

1538
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 6: her chest was out, but she picked it. After she

1539
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 6: put it back on, she storm passed everyone to a

1540
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 6: room by herself, where she proceeded to call her husband

1541
01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 6: and complain about how he was treating her. A brief

1542
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:17,840
Speaker 6: argument in the bathroom, and she refused to look or

1543
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 6: speak to me, So I decided to be dazed and

1544
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 6: happily married that a care in the world that she

1545
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 6: was present. I enjoyed the rest of my night at

1546
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 6: the brewery, smiling and being genuinely happy with my true

1547
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:30,200
Speaker 6: best friend, my husband. I can only imagine how pissed

1548
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 6: she was. Every time people throughout the brewery clinked their

1549
01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:36,600
Speaker 6: silverware against their glasses for us to kiss. It was beautiful.

1550
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 6: I'm glad that you were able to have a nice

1551
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 6: wedding time, regardless in the face of that. That's not

1552
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 6: easy to do when someone's actively being a poopy head.

1553
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:46,120
Speaker 6: Karen stayed silent the rest of the night while I

1554
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:48,640
Speaker 6: enjoyed spending time with my husband and our son. The

1555
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:52,639
Speaker 6: next morning, I made breakfast, but Karen didn't come upstairs

1556
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:55,880
Speaker 6: until one pm. She was probably being annoying. We had

1557
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,800
Speaker 6: agreed to head out as a group and enjoy the

1558
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,720
Speaker 6: day and talked about getting Kreem barbecue and me trying

1559
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 6: to be a good friend. Realize she hadn't eaten all

1560
01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:05,640
Speaker 6: day and was likely famished. Can't she just find a

1561
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 6: way to eat herself. The airbnb was far from civilization

1562
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 6: and even further from the Korean barbecue place. Okay, that

1563
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:13,360
Speaker 6: makes sense. Maybe it was hard to go drive or whatever.

1564
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1565
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:16,080
Speaker 6: Where we were planning to go was an hour forty

1566
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,600
Speaker 6: five away, so about twenty minutes into our drive, I

1567
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 6: saw the pub that was next to the grocery store,

1568
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 6: which she said she needed to go to to get

1569
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 6: more snacks and stuff. So I told Nathan, hey, pull

1570
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 6: in here. We can grab a quick bite for lunch,

1571
01:09:28,439 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 6: hit the grocery store, and then head into town, thinking

1572
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:33,679
Speaker 6: we could have Kaream barbecue for dinner. I was thinking

1573
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,880
Speaker 6: of her trying to get food in her system and

1574
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:38,120
Speaker 6: the things that she needed from the grocery store, Plus

1575
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:41,920
Speaker 6: my son was also hungry, actively asking for food as well.

1576
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:44,120
Speaker 6: She gets out of the car and starts going off

1577
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:46,519
Speaker 6: about how she's been treated like a child all weekend,

1578
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,560
Speaker 6: How she has to sit in the back seat like

1579
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:51,439
Speaker 6: a child, How she isn't asked where she wants to go,

1580
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,280
Speaker 6: or what she wants to do or what she wants

1581
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:55,519
Speaker 6: to eat. She can't even listen to the kind of

1582
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:57,760
Speaker 6: music she likes. We mostly listen to low Fie on

1583
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:00,200
Speaker 6: the drives because it's calming. We often do this, just

1584
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 6: particular this weekend. Plus, who doesn't like lo Fi? I mean,

1585
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 6: Loafi is fine. Yeah, it's definitely not hype no, but

1586
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,960
Speaker 6: it's relaxing. It's like a good music to study too. Yeah,

1587
01:10:11,240 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 6: lo Fi best to study.

1588
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:12,400
Speaker 3: Two.

1589
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,200
Speaker 6: I lost it. I broke and became an unhinged version

1590
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 6: of myself that I just shouted everything I felt with

1591
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 6: zero filter in front of the pub. Again, not a

1592
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:25,080
Speaker 6: good move to do, but understandable with how much she

1593
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,519
Speaker 6: was putting you through. So I stopped, passed away, stared

1594
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:32,000
Speaker 6: at her in disbelief, and said, are you fing kidding me?

1595
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 6: I am done.

1596
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:35,479
Speaker 1: I was literally trying to feed you so you wouldn't

1597
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 1: become a nasty witch by here we are. What do

1598
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:40,360
Speaker 1: you want to sit next to my husband in the

1599
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 1: front seat? You want to hold his hand to and

1600
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 1: you can't listen to the music you like, you literally

1601
01:10:44,360 --> 01:10:46,840
Speaker 1: have both effing headphones in your ears listening to your

1602
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:49,080
Speaker 1: own e FFing music off your phone.

1603
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:52,040
Speaker 6: Get your butt back in the effing car. We're going

1604
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,759
Speaker 6: back to the airbnb so you can pack up your crap,

1605
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:57,400
Speaker 6: and we're taking you to the fing airport so you

1606
01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,679
Speaker 6: can go home. Because I am die.

1607
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:05,000
Speaker 3: No, you poked the mayorn. You got the class.

1608
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:09,679
Speaker 6: Oh Pe went off. Dang, not a great move.

1609
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:12,919
Speaker 3: Justified a hole here, but justified a hole justified.

1610
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:18,080
Speaker 6: I mean this Karen was terrible also, but like, oh Pe,

1611
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,600
Speaker 6: the planning of this all like you gotta yeah, you

1612
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:23,600
Speaker 6: gotta know this person is it seems like Sarah.

1613
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:27,240
Speaker 3: Was saying, as a reminder, Karen did kind of force

1614
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 3: herself onto this trip and ope, yeah, the people pleasing the.

1615
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:34,719
Speaker 6: Latter was like say no, say no. And also I'm

1616
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,800
Speaker 6: sure it's quite the show for people all around. While

1617
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 6: I yelled all of this at her, she started calling

1618
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 6: her husband saying, see this is what I've been dealing with.

1619
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,519
Speaker 6: You hear how she's talking to me. It took everything

1620
01:11:47,560 --> 01:11:49,559
Speaker 6: in me not to knock her at the f out.

1621
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,800
Speaker 6: I was so enraged. She wouldn't respond to me and

1622
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 6: eventually got back in the car. After we did, she

1623
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:56,240
Speaker 6: just sat in the pomos in silence. My husband and

1624
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 6: I talked about how crappy and ungrateful she was being

1625
01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:01,600
Speaker 6: the whole weekend, while my son joined in from the

1626
01:12:01,640 --> 01:12:04,760
Speaker 6: back seat, saying, yeah, you're going to the airports. I

1627
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:06,959
Speaker 6: was half proud he was defending me and half mortified

1628
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 6: that he had to endure this ridiculous incident. For the record,

1629
01:12:09,920 --> 01:12:12,559
Speaker 6: he's perfectly healthy, fine and happy. I never yell like

1630
01:12:12,640 --> 01:12:14,160
Speaker 6: that in front of him. We get back to the

1631
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:16,719
Speaker 6: airbnb and she hides in her room until the uber

1632
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:19,200
Speaker 6: pulls up two hours later. I'm happy to say we

1633
01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 6: had the best time after she left. It was like

1634
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:23,960
Speaker 6: a breath of fresh air filled the cabin. It was

1635
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 6: just our little family enjoying the most beautiful time together.

1636
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:28,400
Speaker 6: It may have been more dramatic than I expected my

1637
01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:30,800
Speaker 6: wedding weekend to be, but I'm glad he's no longer

1638
01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:33,240
Speaker 6: in my life. So after she left, I went downstairs

1639
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:35,839
Speaker 6: to check things out and make sure she didn't damage anything.

1640
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 6: She thought putting all the clean towels in the shower

1641
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 6: and soaking them would upset me.

1642
01:12:40,560 --> 01:12:42,680
Speaker 3: Oh no, the towel, So what that is?

1643
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,080
Speaker 6: So petty, honey? It was literally right next to the

1644
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:47,920
Speaker 6: washing machine. By the way, you can listen to full

1645
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:50,240
Speaker 6: episodes of stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcast,

1646
01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:53,040
Speaker 6: or your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time,

1647
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:54,559
Speaker 6: there's a little bit more of the story, and I'm

1648
01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 6: just gonna bulldoze right through it. So she also rolled

1649
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,080
Speaker 6: up her dress and threw it in the bathroom trash

1650
01:12:59,120 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 6: can and left the chain to the necklace I gave

1651
01:13:01,439 --> 01:13:03,960
Speaker 6: her as a Native honor gift on top of the

1652
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:07,599
Speaker 6: trash with a pendant missing the show. She clearly blushed

1653
01:13:07,640 --> 01:13:09,800
Speaker 6: it down the toilet like she really thought I cared

1654
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:12,240
Speaker 6: about a thirty five dollars pendant. I'd pay more to

1655
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 6: get rid of her all over again. But that's just

1656
01:13:14,160 --> 01:13:16,759
Speaker 6: me being cynical at this point. So yeah, we closed

1657
01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,760
Speaker 6: on our new home two days after Christmas, and we're

1658
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 6: now living our best life, happily ever after, with none

1659
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,920
Speaker 6: of the drama. Am I the a hole? You know

1660
01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,640
Speaker 6: you shouldn't have invited her in the first place. You

1661
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:30,479
Speaker 6: were too nice in the beginning. She pushed you to

1662
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:33,000
Speaker 6: the edge. Yes, should you yell at people. No, it's

1663
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 6: an a hole move. Should you yell from in front

1664
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:38,360
Speaker 6: of your kid? No, A hole move? But do we understand? Yes,

1665
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 6: I think justified. A hole is where we're going to

1666
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:42,160
Speaker 6: leave it.

1667
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:42,719
Speaker 4: Whoo.

1668
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,479
Speaker 6: But yeah, that is our Karen story.