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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

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Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

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Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for Session three ninety one of the

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our

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Speaker 1: conversation after word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: Hi. I'm Dora Kamal and I am on the Therapy

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Speaker 2: for Black Girls Podcast. I'm in session today unpacking how

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Speaker 2: to set your intentions for the new year.

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Speaker 1: The new year often brings a whorldwind of pressure to

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Speaker 1: reinvent ourselves, leading us to set unrealistic goals. In this

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Speaker 1: final episode of the year, I'm challenging you to consider

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Speaker 1: what it might look like to spend these final days

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, reflecting, reframing, and being present rather

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Speaker 1: than rushing ahead. Please welcome meditation teacher Dora Kamal as

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Speaker 1: our guest for this week. She's here to discuss how

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Speaker 1: we might welcome in the new year by practicing mindfulness.

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Speaker 1: With the background in psychology and psychiatric nursing, Dora leeds workshops, events,

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Speaker 1: and retreats to whole space for individuals to explore or

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Speaker 1: different expressions of presence. You may recognize Dora's voice as

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Speaker 1: she's also a meditation teacher at Handspace, a leading mindfulness

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Speaker 1: and meditation app. Together, Dora and I unpack some of

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Speaker 1: the common anxieties that come up at the dawn of

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Speaker 1: a new year, explored what it looks like to shift

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Speaker 1: from making New Year's resolutions to simply setting intentions, and

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Speaker 1: gave tips for how you can incorporate mindfulness activities like journaling, meditating,

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Speaker 1: and affirmation setting into your daily lives As we enter

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. As our special end of the year

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Speaker 1: treat we've also included a ten minute meditation to support

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Speaker 1: you in easing any lingering worries as we head into

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. If something resonates with you while enjoying

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Speaker 1: our conversation, please share with us on social media using

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Speaker 1: the hashtag TVG in session, or join us over in

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Speaker 1: the Sister Circle to talk more about the episode. You

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Speaker 1: can join us at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com.

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Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. It's so great to meet you, Dora.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so excited for this conversation. I just

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Speaker 2: have to say, back in twenty twenty three, beginning of

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Speaker 2: the year, I have wrote down I want to be

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Speaker 2: on Therapy for Black Girls podcasts.

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Speaker 1: I have to be.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how it was gonna happen, but here

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Speaker 2: we are. So it feels very aliging that I'm here

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Speaker 2: and we're talking about this subject today. So thank you

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Speaker 2: so much for all the work that you do. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's just all the upliftment that you provide for people

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Speaker 2: like me in this world.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I appreciate that, and I'm glad we're having

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Speaker 1: some time to chat today because I'm a huge fan

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Speaker 1: of your work as well. I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: know this, but we do a gathering in our community

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Speaker 1: every Thursday, call three for Thursday, and we start typically

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Speaker 1: with a guided meditation or some kind of affirmation and

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Speaker 1: we often use your sessions from Handspace for that. So

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're already a part of the therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black girls world. Yayay, you have done so many

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Speaker 1: incredible things. You are like we talked about a part

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Speaker 1: of Handspace and the Nike well Collective, and I'd love

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Speaker 1: to hear just a little bit about how you got

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Speaker 1: to this journey of wellness and the things that you're

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Speaker 1: currently doing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a while. I started to meditate back

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Speaker 2: in twenty ten after experiencing a tumultuous relationship and really

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Speaker 2: struggling with anxiety. And at first my mom was like,

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Speaker 2: go to therapy or go to church. And I went

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Speaker 2: to therapy and it just wasn't a fit. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: a therapist to understood what I was going through because

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Speaker 2: I was high functioning, I guess. And so that kind

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Speaker 2: of set me on my journey to understand my mind

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Speaker 2: because I had been i say, quote unquote normal up

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Speaker 2: until then, and then it felt like I couldn't be

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Speaker 2: in public spaces. I was afraid to talk to people.

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Speaker 2: My body felt like a foreign place to me, and

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Speaker 2: so I started to meditate hiding in my mom's house

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Speaker 2: in my bedroom in the closet because she did don't

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Speaker 2: want any meditating or chanting or booting, none of that

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Speaker 2: in her house. And from there something just clicked about

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Speaker 2: how powerful it is to know that your mind can

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Speaker 2: be such a beautiful and yet destructive place, and how

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Speaker 2: the body is always listening to the mind and the

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Speaker 2: mind's always listening to the body. And then I went

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Speaker 2: on to school and got my psychiatric nursing degree, and

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Speaker 2: I got my psychology degree, and then I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this isn't it. And I was living in Canada at

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Speaker 2: the time, so I started to host different workshops and

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Speaker 2: community gatherings for black women to come together to talk

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Speaker 2: about mental health and meditation. And that set me on

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Speaker 2: my path just to I don't even like to call

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Speaker 2: myself an expert, but just a human being trying to

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Speaker 2: figure it out. And meditation is something that allowed me

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Speaker 2: to figure it out. And I love to share the

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Speaker 2: power of the practice because it's so misunderstood, like a

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Speaker 2: lot of these wellness things in our communities. So that's

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Speaker 2: how I got here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so when you decided to start meditating, how did

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Speaker 1: you start? Like, did you just google something and find

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Speaker 1: some videos like, where did you start?

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Speaker 2: I was on Google. I definitely in high school, they

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Speaker 2: used to call me ask Jeeves because I would always

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Speaker 2: ask jeez everything, if you remember.

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Speaker 1: Asked you how I do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I went there and I was like,

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Speaker 2: how to get rid of panic in my body? And

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Speaker 2: meditation came up. There wasn't as many resources as there

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Speaker 2: are now, but tar Brock came up, who was a

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Speaker 2: well known meditation teacher and deep breathing. So I started

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Speaker 2: off with a deep breathing because that was easier to hide.

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Speaker 2: And so I listened to hip hop instrumentals in my

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Speaker 2: closet and just try to match my breath with the

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Speaker 2: rhythm of the music. And I did that for a

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Speaker 2: few weeks until it's like, okay, I want to learn

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Speaker 2: more about what's going on. And then I decided to

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Speaker 2: learn from tar Brock just online. She had a few

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Speaker 2: resources back then as well, and just kind of diy

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Speaker 2: ing it from there.

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Speaker 1: Mm hm. And you mentioned kind of having to hide

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Speaker 1: in the closet to do it because mom was like,

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Speaker 1: we not doing any of that and here, Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: I do think that that is one of the things

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Speaker 1: that is misunderstood, I think, particularly in communities of color

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Speaker 1: around like what is mindfulness and meditation and that it

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Speaker 1: is in some way in opposition, I think, to religion

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Speaker 1: and faith and spirituality. So can you talk a little

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Speaker 1: bit more about like that misconception.

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Speaker 2: I can speak from my mom's perspective. So my mom

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Speaker 2: is from Kenya, my dad's from Ghana. Back then when

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Speaker 2: she was in school, the British came and so there

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Speaker 2: was a lot of colonization at that time, and I

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Speaker 2: think God was given to them. Religion was given to them.

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Speaker 2: Christianity was given to them from a place of fear. Right,

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Speaker 2: all of the traditional things and cultural things that you

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Speaker 2: people have been practicing is not right. And here's this

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Speaker 2: Bible and here's God and he will save you. And

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Speaker 2: so there's a lot of fear from my mom, and

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Speaker 2: I had to learn where that fear was coming from

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Speaker 2: and have a lot of compassion from it because in

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Speaker 2: what I know now was like God is someone that

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Speaker 2: had saved her during those really hard times. But I

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Speaker 2: think I think the misconception comes from just not understanding

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Speaker 2: what this practice is. So now many years later, my

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Speaker 2: mom is like, Okay, I understand what you're doing because

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Speaker 2: it's about just noticing your breath, being aware of your thoughts, emotions,

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Speaker 2: sensations in the body, and not necessarily tied to Buddhism

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Speaker 2: or Ganesha or all these other things that she had

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Speaker 2: thought it was tied to. Yes, it is if I'm

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Speaker 2: speaking about Buddhism, but mindfulness and the way that we

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Speaker 2: know it in the Western world is more science based

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Speaker 2: and talking more about the present moment, and there's not

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Speaker 2: that connection to Buddhism in the mindfulness space, So that

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Speaker 2: was easier for her to get behind, but still a

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Speaker 2: little trepidation. I went to India last year and it

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Speaker 2: was like I was back where I was in twenty

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Speaker 2: ten around like what are you doing? You're learning yoga?

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Speaker 2: What's going to happen there? Take the Holy water? I'm like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I acknowledge and I honor the fear that she has.

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Speaker 2: But I just had to recognize that fear is not

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Speaker 2: my fear and just speak science to her, because science

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Speaker 2: was the way that I was able to get through.

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Speaker 1: You mentioned your training in psychology and as a psychiatric nurse.

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Speaker 1: How does that inform the work that you feel like

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Speaker 1: you do today.

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Speaker 2: Psychiatric nursing taught me a lot about trauma sensitive mindfulness,

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Speaker 2: I think, and a lot of people don't know that

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Speaker 2: it's such a privilege to be able just to close

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Speaker 2: your eyes and to be with your body and your

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Speaker 2: breath in such an intimate way. And for people who

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Speaker 2: are living with trauma or experiencing trauma, or survivors of trauma,

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Speaker 2: that's a really big thing, right, And even paying attention

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Speaker 2: can be really harmful for folks who are recovering from trauma.

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Speaker 2: And so a lot of what I do is trauma informed,

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Speaker 2: being a survivor of trauma myself, but also recognizing that

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Speaker 2: there are a lot of barriers when we just ask

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Speaker 2: people to sit down and to close their eyes and

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Speaker 2: notice their body and their breath. And I wanted to

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Speaker 2: make sure that this practice was accessible to all people.

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Speaker 2: So I'm very grateful that I was able to be

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Speaker 2: in psychiatric nursing and work with people from all types

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Speaker 2: of backgrounds in that space. My last job was in

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Speaker 2: addictions with women, and that let me know, like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I can't just go in there and tell people to

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Speaker 2: practice compassion or take deep breath. Safety trust are so

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Speaker 2: so important in those environments, and that informs a lot

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Speaker 2: of what I do today cultivating safety and trust.

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Speaker 1: Can you talk about some of the other things that

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Speaker 1: are important as a part of a mindfulness practice when

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Speaker 1: you're thinking about being trauma sensitive, Like, I know the

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Speaker 1: closing of the eyes is one that I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people know. But what other kinds of things

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Speaker 1: are you paying attention to?

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Speaker 2: I would say agency and choice are a really big things.

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Speaker 2: So giving people modifications and different points of focus in

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Speaker 2: a practice. So again, if noticing the body's uncomfortable, notice

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Speaker 2: an area of the body that feels better. You can

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Speaker 2: open your eyes and notice an area in your rumor

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Speaker 2: and you're surrounding that feels good to look at. I

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Speaker 2: think reminding people that they have control over their practice.

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Speaker 2: I think when you go into studios, you never really

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Speaker 2: hear a teacher saying like, if it doesn't feel good,

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Speaker 2: you could leave. And I always tell people that this

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Speaker 2: does not feel good in any way. Don't think that

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Speaker 2: you need to be here to prove something to me

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Speaker 2: or yourself. Like that honoring of your body and whatever

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Speaker 2: it's communicating to you in the moment is so important.

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Speaker 2: And so I think reinstilling control for people and their practices,

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Speaker 2: not being the one that knows it all and I

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Speaker 2: know more than you, but really reminding people that they

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Speaker 2: are the expert of their own experience and normalizing some

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Speaker 2: of the things that can come up in practice. Right,

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Speaker 2: why does it feel like I'm going right back to

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Speaker 2: the past and my practice, or why is my mind

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Speaker 2: wandering or I'm distracted or I can't do this? And normalizing, Like,

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Speaker 2: the mind is designed to wander and to judge and

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Speaker 2: to think, and it's really important to normalize those things

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Speaker 2: for people living with trauma and people not living with

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Speaker 2: trauma and experiencing it in the present moment. So I

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Speaker 2: would say, yeah, agency choice and just normalizing some of

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Speaker 2: the experiences that we have in the practice.

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Speaker 1: Dora, as we start to think about the end of

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Speaker 1: one year the beginning of a new year, I'm curious

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Speaker 1: to hear what kinds of things are you typically reflecting

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Speaker 1: on and why do you think like this timeframe is

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Speaker 1: such a right time for like those kinds of reflections.

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Speaker 2: I love to reflect. I have all my journals up

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Speaker 2: until like two thousand and fifteen, and so I hear

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Speaker 2: a lot of people talk about how you shouldn't read

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Speaker 2: your journals once you write in it. But I think

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Speaker 2: that reflection part that documentation of your life can be

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Speaker 2: really helpful to show you that change has been happening

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Speaker 2: in your life or growth has been occurring, because it's

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Speaker 2: hard when we just keep it up to our minds

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Speaker 2: to reflect in that way, right, There's so many different

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Speaker 2: things that can also come up in those moments of reflection.

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Speaker 2: So I find going back to my journals, looking back

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Speaker 2: at all the things that I've done, the place is

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Speaker 2: that I've been, the things that I've accomplished, the things

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Speaker 2: that I can be proud of towards the end of

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Speaker 2: the year, helps me to also look forward and set

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Speaker 2: plans for the year to come. So you don't journal,

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Speaker 2: highly recommend journaling, And I think there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: pressure for the new year because if there's this thing

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Speaker 2: about the new year being like a destination or everything

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Speaker 2: has to happen twenty twenty five, life is going to change.

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Speaker 2: And for me this could be because of my practice.

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Speaker 2: I just see it as a continuation, not necessarily like

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Speaker 2: the beginning and an ending, but you know, it's just

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Speaker 2: a continuation of like moment to moment, a series of moments,

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Speaker 2: rather than like this big catastrophic thing that's happening. Because

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of pressure in that right. I learned

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Speaker 2: the term the other day called a rival fallacy. So

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Speaker 2: it's this false idea that when we get to a

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Speaker 2: certain destination will be happy. And so if you put

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Speaker 2: all of that hope into twenty twenty five being the

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Speaker 2: year that you're happy and you realize, shoot, it's still

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Speaker 2: the same, it sets us up for a lot of disappointment.

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Speaker 2: And so just being aware of the pressure that we

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Speaker 2: can internalize or the external pressure that's there, and recognizing,

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Speaker 2: like it feels much better for me and hopefully for

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Speaker 2: everyone else, that life is just a series of moments,

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Speaker 2: you know, and it's a continuation from one moment to

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Speaker 2: the next, rather than one big moment and then another

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Speaker 2: big moment. Yeah, what about you? How do you start

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Speaker 2: an entire New Years?

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Speaker 1: I typically like journaling also, and like using prompts because

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Speaker 1: I'm one of those people who does feel like I

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Speaker 1: typically need like a question or something to kind of

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Speaker 1: get started. So I would say journaling is also something

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Speaker 1: that's helpful for me, though I don't feel like I've

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Speaker 1: been as consistent or like I definitely don't have like

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Speaker 1: years of journals. I'm doing much more digital journaling, So

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Speaker 1: I probably have a bit electronically, but not paper, which

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Speaker 1: I do really love though, Like I love the idea

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Speaker 1: of paper journaling, but it's not something that I tend

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Speaker 1: to reach for, so I tend to take the path

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Speaker 1: of least resistance and just do it on my phone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Love that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, and you mentioned you know, I do think

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Speaker 1: that there is like a lot of anxiety around this

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Speaker 1: like new Year knew me kind of like, Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is the year I'm going to start this thing. What

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Speaker 1: would you say that mindfulness can help? Like, how can

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Speaker 1: mindfulness help to reduce maybe some of that stress or

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Speaker 1: anxiety that people feel about a new year?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean mindfulness is this inherent ability, So we

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Speaker 2: can all practice mindfulness. We all have the ability to

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Speaker 2: be mindful, but being aware in the moment, on purpose,

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Speaker 2: without judgment, and so noticing your thoughts around this time

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Speaker 2: of year, noticing the different sensations that arise when you

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Speaker 2: are feeling anxious, like where is this anxiety coming from?

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Speaker 2: Where is this sense of urgency coming from? Where is

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Speaker 2: this pressure coming from? I think for me, detangling from

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Speaker 2: some of that because social media is a wonderful place

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Speaker 2: to connect with people but also there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: pressure from seeing people having all these different challenges. I

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Speaker 2: know January is like a hot time for challenges for

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Speaker 2: the new year. So just being able to be aware

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Speaker 2: of the different thoughts and emotions and sensations that we

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Speaker 2: experience in those times and meeting ourselves with compassion. One

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Speaker 2: practice for me that's been really helpful is looking to

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Speaker 2: nature as my guide, So being aware of the cycle

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Speaker 2: of nature and recognizing for me, it feels a bit

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Speaker 2: weird if I'm in winter during December and January to

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Speaker 2: set goals during that time because all the animals are

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Speaker 2: asleep right, things are hibernating, And I'm like, I feel

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Speaker 2: the same way too, So I'm going to hibernate and

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Speaker 2: when it's spring, when things are like taking flight, when

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Speaker 2: things are growing and budding. Okay, this feels like a

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Speaker 2: more aligned time for me to do the same. So

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Speaker 2: I think mindfulness has allowed me to assert my pace

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Speaker 2: in the world rather than getting lost in the pace

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Speaker 2: of the world, if that makes sense. And you can

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Speaker 2: only really do that when you're aware of what's going

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Speaker 2: on around you. So yeah, just being aware of where

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Speaker 2: you're at and looking to nature. I think nature is

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Speaker 2: a really beautiful teacher, and being able to find and

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Speaker 2: trust our own pace and timing in life.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that refrain because I do think you're right,

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Speaker 1: Like it's cold, and you know, sometimes it's rainy, Like,

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Speaker 1: do you really want to be out doing all this

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Speaker 1: new stuff or would it be better to do it

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Speaker 1: in the spring when it feels a little warmer outside.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. It just feels different too. I don't

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Speaker 2: know about you, but for me, I'm like, as soon

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Speaker 2: as it's fall, I'm tired. It's dark, gir outside, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I just want to cuddle it cozy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know. And I do think that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people take on this idea of like New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolutions and things that they want to change. If

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Speaker 1: that is the approach that people are taking, what kinds

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Speaker 1: of things do you think can help it feel less overwhelming?

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Speaker 2: I think you said something important is the feeling of it.

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Speaker 2: So I decided to take a step back from goals

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Speaker 2: a few years ago because again, it was just like

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Speaker 2: a lot of pressure. There wasn't any grace to make

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Speaker 2: mistakes or to have to start over again. And so

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Speaker 2: I love the idea of setting intentions and usually y'all

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Speaker 2: think about how do I want to feel? So for'

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, how do I want to feel, whether

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Speaker 2: it's in my friendships, in my work and my relationships

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Speaker 2: and my personal life, like how is it that I

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Speaker 2: want to feel? And then making goals to reinforce that feeling,

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Speaker 2: and so whether it's daily goals and daily intentions that

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Speaker 2: we can set, or monthly goals or quarterly goals, and

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Speaker 2: then being able to check in right, Okay, this week

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Speaker 2: I felt horrible and one of my intentions this year

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Speaker 2: was to feel much better when I'm at work and

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Speaker 2: to not be as stressed. So what needs to shift?

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Speaker 2: What can I start to prioritize to prioritize that feeling?

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Speaker 2: So that can be a helpful practice, focusing on the

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Speaker 2: feeling and writing down intentions to reinforce and cultivate that

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Speaker 2: feeling in your life.

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Speaker 1: So what kinds of ways could people organize that? So

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Speaker 1: you mentioned journaling, which could be one way to get

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Speaker 1: in touch with checking in on your feelings. I know

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Speaker 1: like vision boards and visualizations are also other things. Can

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Speaker 1: you talk a little bit about how people might use

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Speaker 1: either or any of those approb just to really check

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Speaker 1: in on this process.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love a good vision board.

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Speaker 2: I started putting it on my phone so it will

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Speaker 2: be my phone background. Rather than just like leaving it

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Speaker 2: in my closet or in my house somewhere. I like

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Speaker 2: to have it visible. Something interesting about the mind is

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Speaker 2: that we have this negativity bias. So it's much easier

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Speaker 2: for our minds to remember negative stimuli or negative memories

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Speaker 2: or negative experiences rather than focusing on the positive. And

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Speaker 2: so I'm sure if I was like, name a pleasant

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Speaker 2: moment and then name an unpleasant moment, people will be

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Speaker 2: much faster to name an unpleasant moment. And so knowing

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Speaker 2: that about the mind, being able to have your vision

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Speaker 2: board filled with intentions and hopes and desires and goals

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Speaker 2: for yourself, maybe affirmations, maybe places that you want to

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Speaker 2: go to or people that you want to speak to.

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Speaker 2: Having that as a collage on your phone and carrying

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Speaker 2: it with you can help you to reinforce this life

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Speaker 2: that you are wanting to create for yourself. Because again,

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Speaker 2: if you look on social media and you see somebody

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Speaker 2: else doing something that you want to do, it's like, dang,

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Speaker 2: I really want to be doing that thing. And then

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Speaker 2: you forget about the goals that you set for yourself.

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Speaker 2: So I'm a big fan of vision boarding, and also

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Speaker 2: doing this in community is really important too to have

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Speaker 2: people to hold you accountable. So I have a few

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Speaker 2: people in my life that I trust that I can

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Speaker 2: share my goals with. They'll check up on me and

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Speaker 2: they will call me out. For sure, They'll call me

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Speaker 2: out and let me know like, hey, this isn't sound

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Speaker 2: in alignment with what it is that you are desiring

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Speaker 2: for yourself. What's going on really speaking life into me?

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Speaker 2: Because again, left up to me, sometimes it give me

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Speaker 2: hard to achieve certain things. So I love the idea

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Speaker 2: of having a community or people in your life that

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Speaker 2: you can trust to help remind you of who you

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Speaker 2: are and what you are aspiring to be.

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Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break, but first a

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Speaker 1: quick stippet of what's coming up next week on TVG.

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Speaker 4: I think about the idea of glowing up or having

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Speaker 4: a glow up, at least from a personal standpoint. I

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Speaker 4: think of it as taking intentional action to become the

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Speaker 4: best version of myself. So I'm not necessarily looking to

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Speaker 4: change who I am or how I look, or change

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Speaker 4: myself fundamentally, but I am looking to do intentional things

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Speaker 4: to step into my fullest potential.

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Speaker 1: Can you say more about, like how people might set

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Speaker 1: that up with their community, because it definitely sounds like

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Speaker 1: the kind of thing that I think people say they want,

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Speaker 1: but I would imagine it might feel a little off

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Speaker 1: putting the first time it happens, right, So can you

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Speaker 1: say more about, like how you and your community set

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Speaker 1: that up so that it can be done with love?

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Speaker 2: I think yeah, And I think that's the thing. So again,

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Speaker 2: people that you trust, people that you feel safer. I

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Speaker 2: had shared a few goals last year with my therapist,

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Speaker 2: and every time that we would meet throughout the year,

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Speaker 2: you would have you check in. That was something that

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Speaker 2: I had spoke to her about. One of my goals

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Speaker 2: was like I want to know monthly check in with you.

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Speaker 2: But say I have my best friend. I've been best

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Speaker 2: friends with him for fifteen years, and every week I'll

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Speaker 2: be like, how are you feeling this week? What's going

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Speaker 2: on in your life? How can I support you? How

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Speaker 2: can I show up those goals that we set at

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Speaker 2: the beginning of the year. Are we on track? What's

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Speaker 2: going on? And so inviting people into the space of

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Speaker 2: like co creation, but also setting guidelines and rules. And

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Speaker 2: this could be because I'm a teacher, but I don't

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Speaker 2: like unsolicited advice, right, I Sometimes I just want people

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Speaker 2: to witness me and take me in. So settying boundaries

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Speaker 2: and guidelines with the people that you are collaborating with

437
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 2: so that you know that you all can be held

438
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 2: accountable and also be held accountable to the container that

439
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 2: you're creating. So what's the space need for everyone to

440
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 2: feel safe and to feel that they can trust the

441
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 2: other person. So it could be this thing of no

442
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 2: unsolicited advice or confidentiality or more compassion, patience, understanding, but

443
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: making sure that you set guidelines with people so that

444
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 2: it turns out to be an actual helpful and productive

445
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: experience and not one that you regret because it's a

446
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 2: vulnerable thing to share your dreams with people. I think

447
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 2: it's spoken about so lightly, but again, where you're planting

448
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 2: your seeds, I mean hopefully the soil and that foundation

449
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,880
Speaker 2: is nourished with good things and not bad things.

450
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, So you've kind of alluded to this idea of

451
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: social media, and we talk about it of course a

452
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: lot here on the podcast, right that it can't be helpful,

453
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: especially in thinking about like what do I want to

454
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 1: feel like in like what goals do I have? But

455
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: there does need to be limits. Can you say a

456
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: little bit more about what you've seen and maybe your

457
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: personal practice is around like boundaries on social media.

458
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 2: A few days ago, it was reminding a friend of

459
00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: noticing when we are feeling informed versus overloaded or overwhelmed

460
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: with information. It's like, we know, right, we know when

461
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 2: we're engaged and informed and things feel really good when

462
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: we're all online, and then it gets to a point

463
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 2: where it's like we're spiraling and we're scrolling and we're

464
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,239
Speaker 2: looking for something or we're on there just mindlessly and

465
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 2: seconds turned into minutes and turned into hours and it's

466
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: like you spent your whole day on your phone. So

467
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 2: being able to know and be aware of the different

468
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: thoughts again and emotion sensations around what it feels like

469
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 2: to be informed versus overwhelmed by information. So that's something

470
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 2: that I have been trying to be aware of and

471
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 2: then following accounts. I think this is something that people

472
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: always say, but really following accounts that feel good to

473
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 2: follow and recognizing that everybody's life is so vastly different

474
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: in person than online. There's been so many times where

475
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 2: I'll meet people in person and they're like, You're funnier

476
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 2: than I imagined, and I'm like, yeah, because social media is

477
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 2: just so one dimensional, right, Like I'm choosing what to

478
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 2: share online with everybody else, and it's not really an

479
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,119
Speaker 2: accurate picture of me. So keeping that in mind for

480
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 2: other people as well, I may think I know this

481
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: person or maybe have an idea, but I really don't

482
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 2: unless this person is showing every single aspect of your life.

483
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: But for the most part, is very one dimensional on there,

484
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 2: and that helps me to also recognize the reality and things.

485
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: So I don't know what's going on, right, but I

486
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: know about my life and what I want and focusing

487
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 2: on that, not forgetting our own lives from her online.

488
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it sounds like you have been journaling for

489
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: quite some time, so I'm guessing that you like free

490
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: write most of the time. But for people who maybe

491
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: need some journal prompts, are there particular ones that you

492
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: find yourself going back to or that you suggest often

493
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: in your community that you would offer for our listeners.

494
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: I love the idea of writing to my future self,

495
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 2: So this is something that I'll do at the beginning

496
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 2: of the year. Let's say I'll write to my twenty

497
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 2: twenty five self of at the end of December twenty

498
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 2: twenty five, this is where I aspire to be, this

499
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 2: is where I hope to be, and I'll talk about

500
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 2: where I want to be when it comes to work, relationships, friends, health,

501
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 2: all the different aspects of our lives. So writing to

502
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: your future self can be really helpful. Writing to your

503
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 2: younger self is a practice that I really love doing

504
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 2: that inner child work, especially when it comes to attaining

505
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 2: goals and having to work through like perfectionism or feeling

506
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 2: like you're behind. Right for the late bloomers that are here,

507
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 2: being able to write to your younger self and letting

508
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: them know where you are in this moment and how

509
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 2: life looks like. Another journaling prompt that I love is

510
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 2: like writing out the best case scenario. I learned this

511
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 2: from TikTok, but writing down like if life could work

512
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: out in your favor, there was nothing holding you back,

513
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: how would you like your life to be? And then

514
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 2: another one that I write and I learned this in

515
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 2: a meditation teacher training is just today I noticed and

516
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 2: then free writing from that prompt. So what did you

517
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: notice in your day about yourself, how you were showing

518
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 2: up about the world you're surrounding other people in your life.

519
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 2: But yeah, those are a few prompts, but I definitely

520
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: am just like a free writer. I'll just sit I

521
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 2: think yesterday I wrote I'm grateful for and that was

522
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 2: what got me writing everything down.

523
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: I appreciate you mentioning that because I know gratitude journaling

524
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: is something that is often talked about. Can you say

525
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: a little bit more about that practice.

526
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 2: This could also be from my Christian upbringing, but gratitude

527
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 2: was such a foundation for our household, just to be

528
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 2: grateful and to give things regardless of circumstances or situations.

529
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: And so I noticed that I will begin my journaling

530
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 2: entries with today I give things for and I'll write

531
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 2: down even just like basic things like a roof over

532
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 2: my head, clean water, I mean not basic, but things

533
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: that we can take for granted for sure, and then

534
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: it will expand to like other things and bigger things.

535
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 2: And you know, I'm grateful for the fact that I

536
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 2: have a job and I get to do what I love.

537
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 2: But gratitude has a really beautiful way of shifting our

538
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 2: perspective to be one of like more of an abundant

539
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 2: mindset rather than lack because again, the mind is wide

540
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 2: in a way where it's so easy to notice the

541
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 2: things that we don't have and the things that aren't

542
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: working out in our lives. So gratitude connects us to

543
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: the fact like there's actually more things going well in

544
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: our lives than there is wrong, And it really just

545
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 2: takes a moment of intentionality and shifting our focus towards

546
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 2: those things that can be really transformative.

547
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: So you mentioned briefly this idea of like late bloomers,

548
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: and I feel like I've been hearing more and more

549
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: conversations around that, and I feel like you even had

550
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: a recent Handspace episode about like late bloomers in this

551
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 1: idea that there is a certain place to be at

552
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,719
Speaker 1: a certain time. What would you offer to people who

553
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 1: are feeling like late bloomers, are feeling like, Okay, I've

554
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: missed the boat in some way, what suggestions might you

555
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: offer them?

556
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: I feel like that I definitely am a part of

557
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 2: the late Bloomer club, the proud president of the late

558
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 2: Bloomer Club, and I always have to remind myself, like

559
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 2: where exactly is it that I'm heading? What am I

560
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: allowing to define my life as being late? Right? Like

561
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 2: looking at myself in comparison to other people that are

562
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 2: my age, like where is this really coming from? And

563
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: is it true? I love being able to challenge some

564
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 2: of the thoughts that I have, like is it true?

565
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: Is it really true? How does it feel to even

566
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: believe this thought that I'm holding on to doesn't really

567
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 2: feel good? And then coupling that with affirmation, So an

568
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: affirmation that I love is I trust the timing of

569
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: my life. Even in recording this podcast with you. If

570
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: I had done it when I had written it down

571
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: in my drone that I wanted to do it, I

572
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 2: don't know if I would have been able to show

573
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 2: up in the way that I am now. So being

574
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 2: able just to trust the timing of your life and

575
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: where you are, because you won't be able to get

576
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,479
Speaker 2: that time back. And there's so much to learn in

577
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 2: that waiting season of your life, in that preparation season

578
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: of your life, because a lot of the times we're

579
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: just being prepared right for what's coming. If we were

580
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 2: to receive the thing that it is that we're wanting

581
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 2: or working towards right now. Some of us may not

582
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: be ready. So there's a lot of wisdom to be

583
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 2: found in the waiting seasons of our lives and being prepared.

584
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 2: There's so much there and yet sometimes you want to

585
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: skip over it. But again, I'm such a nature person, like,

586
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 2: I can't rush my plants to grow in my home

587
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 2: because I know that it's every single process that they're

588
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: going through is so important and it all serves a purpose.

589
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 2: So remembering that all of this serves a purpose. It

590
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 2: may not make sense right now, it's okay, but it

591
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 2: serves a purpose for sure, and we may realize that five, ten,

592
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: fifteen years from now. But it's so important just to

593
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: enjoy and savor where you are.

594
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such a beautiful affirmation.

595
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 2: Door.

596
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: I appreciate you sharing that. Are there others that you

597
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: find yourself going back to or that you think may

598
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: be helpful As we think about the closing of one

599
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: year and the beginning of a new one.

600
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 2: Something that's coming up for me is reminding myself I

601
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: deserve a life full of ease. I think I grew

602
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 2: up in a household where it's like you have to

603
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: work hard, and I'm sure there's systems in this world

604
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: that make us believe that we need to work hard.

605
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,959
Speaker 2: But when there's things that are in my control, I

606
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 2: want it to be easeful. I'm tired of learning the

607
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 2: hard way. I think that's something that I'm like constantly

608
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: reminded us. So I'm tired of learning the hard way.

609
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: And I'm so deserving of a life full of ease

610
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 2: and peace and comfort and softness. So reminding ourselves that,

611
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 2: especially if we've been having a really challenging year, and

612
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: it could be really hard to think that we are

613
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 2: deserving of that type of life or we're worthy of

614
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: that type of life, but you are, and it's so

615
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: important to remember that. Another affirmation that I am thinking

616
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: of in this moment is I think everything is working

617
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 2: out in my favor, and even the things that aren't

618
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 2: working out in my favor are still working out in

619
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: my favor. I think there's a lot of things that

620
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 2: we may think that we want, and we may not

621
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: even know that it's something that is good for us

622
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 2: or is it positive for us, right. We just think

623
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 2: that we need the thing. But I've learned that even

624
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 2: the things in my life that haven't worked out for

625
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 2: me were actually working out in my favor, whether it

626
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: was the ending of a relationship or missed opportunity, or

627
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 2: things that we can perceive as failures or as loss.

628
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: It's like, there's actually a lot that I've gained from

629
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: those things. I don't think I would have been here

630
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: had I made a different decision or said yes to

631
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 2: something or said no to this thing. So trusting that

632
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: everything is working out in your favor, even in the

633
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 2: things that aren't working out in your favor.

634
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you already mentioned that, like accountability and like

635
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: checking it with your community is one of the ways

636
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: that you stay on track with are you meeting your intentions?

637
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: What other things would you suggest for people how they

638
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: can track their goals or their intentions.

639
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 2: I love writing things down. I just yeah, so journaling

640
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 2: for sure, keeping inventory, keeping stock, the notes in your phone.

641
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: I love the good notes in my phone. It's filled

642
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: with so many different things there. But setting reminders as well.

643
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: You can set yourself even like a calendar notification to

644
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,719
Speaker 2: remind you three months from now, six months from now,

645
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 2: just to check in. And what I love about intentions,

646
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 2: as I spoke about earlier, is that it gives us

647
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,479
Speaker 2: space to row so six months from now, I may

648
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: be a completely different person, and that means that I

649
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 2: need to change and shift what my intentions were and

650
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 2: my goals for the years. So setting that reminder just

651
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: to check in, right, is this intention or goal even

652
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 2: relevant for what I'm experiencing in my life right now?

653
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: And I would say sticky notes. I also love a

654
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: good sticky notes. So I got sticky notes all over

655
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 2: my house. You know, if you live with people, may

656
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 2: be a bit harder to have those there, But I

657
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: live alone, and sticky notes hold me accountable too, So

658
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 2: I have sticking up to my kitchen, I have my

659
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: bedroom and my bathroom just as reminders. Usually they have

660
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: affirmations on them. And again it holds myself accountable and

661
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: allows me to track my progress and my growth. Right,

662
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 2: how am I doing today? What am I noticing in

663
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 2: my mind and my body? I think a lot of

664
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: this is also about mindfulness too, to be able to

665
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 2: be aware right in those moments where sometimes life just

666
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 2: feels like it's on autopilot. The power of the pause

667
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 2: is really really powerful. To just take a more to

668
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: step back and observe life as it is. Your life

669
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 2: as it is is really powerful. Because oftentimes we just

670
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: are onto the next So you don't have a mindfulness practice,

671
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 2: I highly recommend having one, because that in and of

672
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 2: itself is a way for us to track our progress

673
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 2: and growth, being awake to our lives rather than just

674
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 2: to sleep and kind of moving, allowing life just to

675
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 2: move through us.

676
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: So what kinds of other things would you suggest in

677
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: terms of mindfulness practices? So you talked about journaling, you

678
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 1: talked about being connected to nature. Are the other things

679
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: that people could start, especially if you are like unfamiliar

680
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: with the idea of mindfulness, Like, we don't want the

681
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: barrier to be too high, So what kinds of things

682
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 1: would you suggest for people to get started.

683
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,320
Speaker 2: I love a deep breath. I've been doing it throughout

684
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 2: this podcast. I've gotten good at doing it, very stealthy,

685
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 2: but again, the breath is such a beautiful reflection. It

686
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 2: can be a reflection of how we're feeling in a moment. Usually,

687
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 2: when I'm stressed, I'm holding my breath or my breath

688
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 2: is very shallow, my body feels really tense and rigid,

689
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 2: and so just taking a deep breath in through the

690
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: nose out through the mouth helps to reset the moment.

691
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: And it can help you to be mindful again of

692
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 2: what's going on in and around me. I love soundbols,

693
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: so I have my own little sound set here. But

694
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 2: sound therapy can be really powerful. And again, you don't

695
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 2: have to have singing bowls and all these different instruments

696
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 2: in your home. Listening to binurobeats or listening to nature sounds.

697
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,879
Speaker 2: I love what rain sounds like, or like a fireplace crackling.

698
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,399
Speaker 2: And again, mindfulness is this ability that we all have

699
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 2: just to be aware. So you can do this when

700
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: you're walking, taking a walk, noticing your body, feeling your

701
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 2: feet on the earth, noticing your surroundings. Grounding is a

702
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: really beautiful thing to do. So connecting with your senses.

703
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,720
Speaker 2: What can you see? What can you smell? Taste here? Touch?

704
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 2: But if we can just be aware of what we're

705
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: doing while we're doing it, that is mindfulness. So drinking

706
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: your tea, washing your dishes is just being fully there.

707
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 2: That is the practice. And then it will get you

708
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 2: curious hopefully about meditating, right, and I want this mindfulness

709
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 2: thing to be more sustained. So I'm going to meditate

710
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 2: and train my mind to be more aware doing it

711
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 2: in community. I think it's great to have an app

712
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 2: on your phone, but there's nothing like meditating in community.

713
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 2: It's such a beautiful, beautiful thing just to remind you

714
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 2: of your humanity and others humanity as well. Of like

715
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: that release after exhale is so powerful. So meditating community

716
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 2: if you can, highly recommend.

717
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 1: So. One of the other ways I think that we

718
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 1: are often on autopilot in our lives is through our

719
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 1: intentions and goals, right, so even with our things, like

720
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: we're just checking it off as opposed to I think

721
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: really sitting with, hey, I did this thing, So what

722
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 1: kinds of things would you suggest to like celebrate the

723
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 1: small winds for ourselves.

724
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 2: I mean, that's the thing, celebrating the small winds. Like

725
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 2: I recently got into a relationship after being single for

726
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,919
Speaker 2: four years, intentionally single for four years, and every month

727
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, we're celebrating like we made it. And it's

728
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: such a silly thing. Like for our three month anniversary,

729
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 2: we went to Cago and I told the hotel before

730
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 2: we got there, like it's our anniversary, and they're thinking,

731
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 2: like it's a five ten year anniversary and I'm like,

732
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: it's only three months. But you know, in this day

733
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 2: and age. Right now, I'm like, three months is a win,

734
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: so we're celebrating it. You don't have to wait for

735
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,919
Speaker 2: something big in your life to celebrate things like I'm

736
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: really a fan of every day, at the end of

737
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 2: my day, I'll take a moment to write down all

738
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: the different things that I did, whether it was to

739
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: wake up, brush my teeth, eat food, answer emails. I

740
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: started to take inventory of those things because I'm the

741
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: type of person that I often feel like I'm not

742
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 2: doing enough, and so to have those things written down

743
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 2: and to be able to reflect on them of like

744
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,479
Speaker 2: I actually did a lot today. You know, like there's

745
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 2: so many things in my days that I'm doing, and

746
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 2: if I'm not mindful of those things, it just feels

747
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 2: like I'm constantly on the hunt for like doing more

748
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 2: and being more and more and more and more and

749
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 2: more and more. So again, taking a moment just to

750
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 2: pause to celebrate even the most mundane things, it builds up.

751
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 2: It's like kind of like a bank account. We're making

752
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: those daily deposits and celebrations every single day. So start

753
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 2: small and then eventually it will snowball into bigger things.

754
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: But don't overlook the small things. Of being able to

755
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 2: wake up in the morning, being able to take a shower,

756
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 2: to brush your teeth, all the small things, because those

757
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: matter too.

758
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: So what resources would you share for people who are

759
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,479
Speaker 1: looking to continue with their mindfulness journey in twenty twenty five?

760
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: Any books, podcasts, other things that you think could be

761
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: helpful for people.

762
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 2: Of course, Headspace is a great place to start. It's

763
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 2: so beginner friendly, and that's what I love so much

764
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 2: about this work that we do is we're so accessible

765
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 2: to beginners. So I highly recommend checking out the Headspace app.

766
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,760
Speaker 2: We also have a podcast that's called Radio Headspace where

767
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: me and the other teachers just talk about mindful living.

768
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 2: We have Deer Headspace where you can call in and

769
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 2: ask us questions, which I love because everyone just asked

770
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: questions about everything and is so great. And then books,

771
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 2: I love John Kapittson's works, So wherever you go, there

772
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 2: you are. It's a really great book for beginners. Pemitrojan,

773
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 2: who is a Buddhist nun, she has a book called

774
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 2: When Things Fall Apart, and that's more about how to

775
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 2: handle heartbreak and pain through the practices of mindfulness and

776
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 2: meditation joyfully. Just by Camille lege she's a black woman.

777
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: I've been trying to read more work from black women

778
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 2: in the space because it's very rare for few, but

779
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 2: more people are showing up, which I'm so excited about.

780
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 2: She has a really beautiful book called Joyfully, just that

781
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 2: talks about how for black people, it's like a lot

782
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 2: of these practices are in our culture already, right, So

783
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,760
Speaker 2: she talks about even looking at the words that we speak,

784
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: stay woke with actually like an invitation for black people

785
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 2: at the time, just to be aware of their surroundings, right,

786
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: and even with dance, and like how we communicate and

787
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 2: how so much of our resilience is found in joy

788
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful, beautiful book. So highly recommend that book.

789
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 2: And yeah, you can meditate with me on my website.

790
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: I have meditations available there. I don't want to overwhelm people,

791
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 2: but those are good, good first places to start for sure.

792
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, something I realized I did not ask you about

793
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: Dora that I definitely want to is about the importance

794
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: of grace and like self compassion. I feel like you

795
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,320
Speaker 1: touched on this a little bit, but you know, sometimes

796
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: when you do have goals, especially for people who are

797
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: super driven and like used to checking things off and

798
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: getting things right. What would you say about the importance

799
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: of self compassion and grace as you are setting intentions

800
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: for yourself.

801
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 2: I will say that I'm still such a student in

802
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,320
Speaker 2: this as well, because I put a lot of pressure

803
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: on myself and I'm also realizing this is from like

804
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,720
Speaker 2: a young age, right got to do well, You always

805
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 2: got to do well. That's how people are seeing you

806
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: as being valuable or respected or all these different stories

807
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 2: that we can internalize. So one being aware of the

808
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:10,240
Speaker 2: stories around what is our relationship to failure right into

809
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 2: not showing up, or maybe when things don't work out,

810
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 2: what is our relationship to disappointment and looking at the

811
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 2: different stories around that. I think awareness comes before even

812
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: the grace giving and the self compassion because you have

813
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 2: to understand the root of it. So again, looking at

814
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: your relationship to disappointment, to failure, to mistakes and then

815
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 2: self compassion is this thing of I call it empathy

816
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 2: plus action. So being able to feel what we're feeling, right,

817
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: feeling into that and then being able to take informed

818
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: action from that feeling. So noticing when you are feeling

819
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 2: like you let yourself down or you've made a mistake,

820
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: how do you feel in that moment? And what's a

821
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 2: more kind action that you can take to yourself or

822
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 2: towards yourself in that moment? So how can you befriend

823
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 2: yourself in those moments? And the thing for me I

824
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 2: found most helpful is just to remind myself and I'm human.

825
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:07,120
Speaker 2: I'm a human and I make mistakes because I think

826
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 2: for a lot of us that hold rules and titles

827
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: in this world, it disconnects us from our humanity, right,

828
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: And I struggle with this sometimes, like I didn't meditate

829
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 2: for the past week. Like I'm a meditation teacher. I

830
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 2: should be meditating all the time. You know. I'm like,

831
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: I'm also a human and I have so many other

832
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: things in my life that's going on in this moment, right,

833
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: I have so many people that are looking for me,

834
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 2: or I'm supporting other people or just like all the

835
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 2: different things that I have to do. So recognizing that

836
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 2: we're human and we're going to make mistakes, and that's

837
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 2: what keeps us work sustainable, That's what allows us to

838
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 2: get back on the horse and continue on. Because if

839
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: we're criticizing ourselves, judging ourselves, really being harsh on ourselves.

840
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 2: It's hard to want to continue a practice that I

841
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 2: love is like even just a hand on the heart,

842
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 2: affirming yourself right, reminding yourself like, this isn't the end.

843
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 2: Sometimes you can feel like it's the end of those moments. Ah,

844
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 2: I didn't get it done the first week in January.

845
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 2: My whole year is over. It's like no, Actually, in

846
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,720
Speaker 2: each and every moment, we have an opportunity to try again.

847
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: So remembering that each and every moment we have an

848
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: opportunity to try again, and it's not the end, it's

849
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:15,280
Speaker 2: the beginning.

850
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that, Dora. So where can

851
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: we stay connected with you? What is your website and

852
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: any social media handles you'd like to share.

853
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,760
Speaker 2: You can stay connected with me on Instagram my first

854
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 2: and my last name, Dora come ou. I also have

855
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 2: a website ww dot Dora comeal dot ca. I recently

856
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 2: just launched a Mindfulness teacher training and mentorship program. The

857
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 2: first cohort is about to graduate this year, and that

858
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 2: was coming from a desire to have more people of

859
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 2: color be in the space and to be able to

860
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 2: mentor and share about this journey of being a teacher

861
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: and specifically talking about the shadow side of teaching as well,

862
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 2: because there's so much of this work that we don't

863
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: recognize is coming from our shadowt self, right, and those

864
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: parts of ourselves that we may be neglect. So that's

865
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 2: another way that we can stay connected. If you're interesting

866
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: in wanting to become a mindfulness teacher, I launched that

867
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: program to support people like me in this world and

868
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 2: in this industry. Of course, on headspace, I'm on TikTok.

869
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: I'm known now for being that girl that kicks people

870
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 2: off of TikTok.

871
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yeah, beautiful. Well, we will be short to

872
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: include all of that in the show notes. Thank you

873
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: so much for spending some time with us today, Dora.

874
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 1: Thank you more from our conversation after the break. And

875
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: now please enjoy this ten minute meditation led by Dora

876
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: to help you welcome the new year with ease and clarity.

877
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to invite you wherever you are

878
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 2: just to settle in, so if you'd like closing the

879
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 2: eyes or keeping them open to a soft gaze, and

880
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 2: then just beginning to notice your body and noticing if

881
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 2: your body needs to be adjusted, finding a position that's

882
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 2: most comfortable for you, and then just beginning to notice

883
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: the rising and falling of the breath, feeling the body

884
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: expanding and contracting with each inhale and each exhale, and

885
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 2: arriving to this moment, just noticing how you're arriving, noticing

886
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: the thoughts in the mind, emotions and the heart, and

887
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 2: any sensations in the body. And then we'll take a

888
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 2: deep breath here, breathing in and breathing out, and again

889
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: breathing in and breathing out, allowing the mind and the

890
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: body to be soft one last time here breathing in

891
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 2: and breathing out, and inviting you to imagine yourself at

892
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 2: the end of twenty twenty five, So envisioning how you

893
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: would like to be at the end of this year,

894
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 2: coming up first, noticing how you would like to feel,

895
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 2: how would you like to feel in your friendships, in

896
00:47:52,440 --> 00:48:06,280
Speaker 2: your work, in your health and well being. Just taking

897
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 2: a moment to reflect and envision how you would like

898
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: to feel. Also acknowledging any doubt or hesitation to dream

899
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: this big or maybe envision this far into the future,

900
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 2: recognizing in the mind there is no limitation to what

901
00:48:46,480 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 2: is possible. So again, at the end of twenty twenty five,

902
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 2: how would you like to feel? And then noticing how

903
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 2: this feels like in your body right now. Perhaps the

904
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: body feels open and spacious, maybe there's a sense of excitement.

905
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 2: Also noticing if the mind maybe has wandered, that's okay,

906
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 2: just gently guiding it back to this moment, to this vision,

907
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:16,839
Speaker 2: and to these feelings. As you focus on these feelings,

908
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 2: maybe thinking about a few things or a few actions

909
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 2: that you need to take in order to prioritize this feeling. So,

910
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 2: if you'd like to feel more arrested, or more joyful

911
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 2: or more happy, what are some things that you can

912
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 2: do in your days to reinforce this feeling? What thoughts

913
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 2: would you need to think? Who would you need to

914
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 2: be surrounded by, What are you saying yes to? And

915
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: what are you saying no to? Maybe thinking about the

916
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 2: different boundaries that need to be set or the different

917
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 2: stories that need to be unlearned in order to make

918
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 2: this feeling a reality. And then if you'd like resting

919
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 2: a hand on the heart, connecting to this place of

920
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 2: kindness and compassion, seeing if you can offer yourself a

921
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 2: few words of encouragement or affirmation that could sound like

922
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,480
Speaker 2: I am deserving of a life filled with joy and happiness.

923
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 2: I am worthy of good things, or maybe I trust

924
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 2: the timing of my life. What is it that you

925
00:52:51,920 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 2: need to hear in this moment? Then we'll take another

926
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:22,879
Speaker 2: deep breath here, breathing in and letting go, and then

927
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 2: just beginning to feel the weight of the body pressing

928
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 2: down into the surface beneath you, inviting gentle movement back

929
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 2: into your hands and into your toes, maybe stretching the

930
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 2: body if that feels good, whenever you're ready, slowly and

931
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 2: gently opening the eyes. Just taking a moment here to

932
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:59,799
Speaker 2: pause and notice how you feel and if you can,

933
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 2: and taking a few moments just to write down those

934
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 2: feelings or intentions that came up for you during this practice.

935
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 2: And thank you all so much for joining me today.

936
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. I'm so glad

937
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: Door was able to join me for this conversation. To

938
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 1: learn more about her and her work, be sure to

939
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 1: visit the show notes at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com

940
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 1: slash session three ninety one, and don't forget to text

941
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: this episode to two of your girls right now and

942
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: tell them to check it out. If you're looking for

943
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, visit our therapist directory at

944
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,319
Speaker 1: Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory And if you

945
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 1: want to continue digging into this topic, be in community

946
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: with other sisters. Come on over and join us in

947
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 1: the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet

948
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 1: designed just for black women. You can join us at

949
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode was

950
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:18,240
Speaker 1: produced by Elise Ellis, Zaria Taylor, and Tyree Rush. Editing

951
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 1: was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for

952
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: joining me again this week. I look forward to continuing

953
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,919
Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care.

954
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: So I am back with one of my favorite traditions

955
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: here on the podcast. At the end of every year,

956
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,840
Speaker 1: my two little ones come and share some well wishes

957
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: for the holiday season and some warm thoughts for you

958
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: for a new year. So, Julian, what would you say

959
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 1: has been your favorite part of twenty twenty four?

960
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 3: My favorite part of twenty twenty four has been going

961
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 3: to school and having fun.

962
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: Oh wonderful. And if you could give our listeners a

963
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: few words of encouragement or something to take them into

964
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: a new year, what would you say, keep.

965
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 3: On doing what you're doing and always feel proud of yourself.

966
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:14,720
Speaker 1: Beautiful. Thank you so much, Julian.

967
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: Merry Christmas in a happy New Year.

968
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 1: Thank you, Julian. So Jackson, what has been your favorite

969
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 1: part of twenty twenty.

970
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 3: Four probably getting into this new school.

971
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: Okay, and what words of encouragement or affirmation would you

972
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 1: offer to our community for a new year.

973
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 3: Don't let anybody tell you can't do something because God

974
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 3: has given you gifts, because it says in one Peter

975
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 3: four ten each of you should use whatever gifts you

976
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 3: are received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's

977
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 3: grace in its various forms.

978
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 1: Beautiful, Thank you so much, Jackson,