WEBVTT - Free Your Mind and Your Algorithm Will Follow 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:12.320 Welcome to Jay dot il, a production of I Heart Radio. Hi. Hi, 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:17.079 everybody's welcome to Jay dot Elder Podcast. Uh, it is 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:24.600 a glorious day to be a black woman here. Feel 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:28.120 good right. I feel like my my feet have been 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:30.800 beside you, even though they haven't. I feel like I 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:40.640 have had a wonderful afternoon of just stimuli. I'm titulated. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:45.200 So welcome to Jay dot Elder Podcast, and I'm hoping 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.640 that we titulate you all today. I'm here with my 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:53.080 sister friends, Ada graydon Donza. I just feel like you 0:00:53.080 --> 0:01:00.240 would saying Diddy for everybody you know me. I was 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:07.280 just at the I'm sorry, hello everyone, how are you? Yes, 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.399 we're going to titty late, let's do it, and and 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.320 then tentifying like yes sink Claire as they say a 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:24.959 DC A tenny ball. I'm sorry, Okay, I'm sorry. We 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:29.360 are having a good day. Okay. I hope that you 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:34.039 all are having a good day too. It's funny like 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:37.039 this is the way we want to feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:41.640 we want to feel like joyful and energetic and you know, 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:45.479 kind of reason to smile. It's funny though that we 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:49.280 will suck around on this Beyonce's Internet, and out of 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.520 all the fantastic things that there are, people are you know, 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:54.880 there's a lot of positive energy, a lot of positive 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:57.440 things to say. We say, we look at these things 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:01.240 and scroll right on buy and wait for some chaos, 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:08.919 wait for some train wrecks, for some foolishness. Really like, seriously, 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:11.760 something that a fool would do, you know, to make 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.200 the king laugh. You know, that's what we're waiting for. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:18.360 And I'm wondering, I'm wondering why we do that. We 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:21.480 have a guest today that is going to talk about 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.720 these things with us eight Ja Graden Dance. If you'd 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.880 be so kind, y'all know that I if you listen 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.240 to show, you know, I'd be on the internet, Okay, 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.120 I'd be on the social media's and you know, and 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:38.240 certainly it is, you know, not a place that doesn't 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:43.079 have more than enough charismatic people who will pull in 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.600 the vibe and before you know it, they like all 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:50.240 the way social media is famous. But they are absolutely 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:55.800 and one hundred percent probably mad tick And the worst 0:02:55.880 --> 0:03:00.800 problematic earth that you can do is then tell their 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:08.959 loyal and I mean fanatical audience that they are a problem. 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:15.080 And there you have it, it becomes a war outside. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:21.240 No man is safe safe, you know what I'm saying. 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:23.600 So anyway, I want to introduce y'all to our guests 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.520 for today. His name is f D Signifier. He is 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:31.399 a former educator and researcher turned content creator who specializes 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:35.360 in analyzing black culture and black experience through media analysis. 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:38.280 His previous experience is working with boys and men and 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.920 researching behavioral health. Has continued in his work discussing issues 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.800 of gender and masculinity in his content. So y'all know, 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.680 he gets really talked about real bad on the people's 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.760 social media's you know what I'm saying, and they come 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:54.560 for you. Finally, I want y'all to know right now 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:58.400 that he is a loving husband and father of two 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:02.480 black boys. Him invested interest in contributing to a better 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:06.720 world where his boys can feel safe, actualized You're gonna 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:12.320 underline that, and fully realized humans underlining quote unquote strong 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:15.520 black men. In between content creation, FD is a media 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.520 junkie and Chicago Bears fan, which you want to talk 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:23.640 about because we and a gamer. So anyway, I heard 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:25.920 this guy and he really, hands down has one of 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.880 the best analysis that I've seen on the people's internet, 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.720 and they can't come for him and call him all 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:33.880 the names because he fits into all of the stereotypical 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:38.760 uh you know boxes married and surprise though they still do. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:43.200 But welcome, welcome, welcome FD signifier to Jay by Area. 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.760 I love the name. Thank you so much. Don't even though, 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.599 like I gotta get the nerves out, especially after you 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.320 read them a little bio. I'm like, oh shit, I'm 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.360 really here? Are we cursing? Yeah? Okay, cool. We didn't 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:59.800 have a whole titty roundtable moment to get into the 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.680 it's a teddy round table. So yeah, this is this 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.960 is dope. This is uh a dream come true in 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.479 a weird way. Like I'm gonna tell when I tell 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:10.400 my boys that I was on a zoom call with 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.600 Jill Scott. No, no shade of a lady in the room. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.760 But I'm just keeping the room. You know. It is 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:22.040 Harry's done. You know it was it was, it was twisted, 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:23.560 it roped up. I was like, I need to get 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:29.280 these curls crimping for on this podcast. The elbows are moisturized. 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.640 I got my most medium shirt. You know what I'm saying, Like, no, 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.400 thank you so yes, yeah, So this is just like 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:39.000 a wild experience to be here to talk my ship 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.800 to people that I admire, this is this is crazy 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.960 for me. So I'm very appreciative to be here and 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:48.560 hope that I can contribute what y'all want from my presence. 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:50.800 This is her social media is as wild is a 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:54.560 wild experience. So we need some navigation. Oh man, uh 0:05:54.880 --> 0:06:00.719 just leave like like real talk. I am twittering less, 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:06.120 uh in twenty twenty three, especially on Elon must twitter 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.719 because after you get a certain amount of followers or whatever, 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.160 and especially if you talk about certain things and you 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:16.960 in different populations of a political thought, like one tweet 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:19.120 that you're not thinking too hard about will haunt you 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:21.240 for a whole week, you know what I'm saying, and 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:24.240 and be don cost you a couple of thousand subs 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:27.359 or a couple of nights arguing with people. So we 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:30.279 I'm it, Twitter hacks your brain. So I'm trying to 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:34.200 reduce my presence there, you know, but you still follow 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:39.560 me as if they sitting on Twitter. You at. One 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.680 of the things that I always find interesting about the 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.039 way that you you look at things is like, you know, 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:45.599 you try to find this kind of fair way to 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.400 discuss this right and get into all the different ways 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.880 that people can be drawn in. And one of the 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:54.200 things that you know that that hurts us, particularly as 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.960 Black people, is that we are very much kind of 0:06:56.960 --> 0:07:00.200 tied into charismatic people. You know, we talk about out 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:04.440 Malcolm X and mL K and you know, these leaders 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:08.599 and the movement icons, and we look at this moment 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.560 and I think we're very emotionally attached to this. And 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.960 so do you see like a connection between what are 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:17.600 the desires of black people and how do we get 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:21.320 kind of pulled into these moments with these specific type 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:24.920 of personalities online Because you guys, remember it used to 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:28.520 be like a melody, you know, well, I mean I 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:30.840 think that may still be a very big part of it. 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:36.600 You know, you've got the pastors and and you know why, 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:42.160 you know that people come back over and over and 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.280 over again. There's a cadence in the rhythm that's still 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.800 you know, people, So like, I'm not I'm gonna try 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:52.360 to throw as minimal shade to people as possible, but 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:56.680 I'm gonna just say a particular Pan African political figure 0:07:56.720 --> 0:07:58.520 that has popped up a lot, I'm sure you all 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.400 he does that very will, and that is the key 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.680 I would say to his prominence, Um he's been on 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:08.880 Breakfast Club a couple of times. Um he's building a school. 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:16.280 I'm sure he is right. So like he has an 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:20.920 excellent like he embodies that that like rhythm of the pastor. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:22.600 You know what I'm saying. That was a thing for 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:26.560 Kevin Samuel's where it's like there's an image, especially for 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:31.960 black men that we kind of desire this cadence in 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.199 this image. To answer your question, I think black folks 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.520 just want to see like health and wellness in front 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.240 of us. We want to see success. Who want to 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:44.719 see blackness that hasn't been ruined by white supremacy. You 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:47.920 know what I experience. And so if you show them that, 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.800 even if it's not quite real, even if it's a 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:53.440 little even if the message is a little thrown off, 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.240 you get attached to the image because that image is 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:58.360 you know, that's the thing that gets us going, because 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.840 that's maybe the thing we want to pursue. You go 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:02.719 back to Fred Hampton, you know what I mean. You 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.800 ever hear Fred Hampton talk, He sounds like a pastor. 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:08.000 You know, it's it's a rhythment. Maybe it's in our bones. 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.240 Maybe it's in the melan I don't know, but it's 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:14.000 in there, so we gravitate to that. But it's also 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.400 you know, to me, honestly, it just seems like the 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:23.520 uglier the energy is behind something, you know, whatever it 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.599 is you're talking about, whether you're talking about sports or 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.760 you're talking about music or faith, whatever it is, it 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.880 seems like the uglier the energy, the more people are 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:36.480 attracted to it. And you know, I don't know about 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:40.280 the rest of y'all, but that definitely concerns me because 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:47.400 we're seeing things like toxic relationships, and we're watching it 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:52.520 and it is fascinating. It's fascinating in the middle of 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:57.040 the street, Yes, it's very fascinating, right right, Like nobody 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:02.960 wants that, right right, I mean, we want to consume it. 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:05.199 Maybe I don't think anybody wants to be fighting in 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:07.960 the middle of the street, but I don't know. There's 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:12.760 it's hard to look away. And so then one thing 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:15.959 I talk about a lot in my content is how 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.840 so much of our consumption of media now is controlled 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:26.800 by algorithmsifier thank you. I don't know how deep, y'all 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:30.880 I get into it, but like, like YouTube, Twitter, TikTok Facebook. 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:35.520 Once upon a time, you just had an account and 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.559 you connected your friends to your account or the people 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:41.480 you like to watch your account, and that's what showed 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:44.640 up when you opened up the app. And ten or 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.240 so years ago, a little more than that, probably people 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:52.720 started understanding algorithmically based consumption models for these apps were 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:56.520 better for keeping up engagement, aka better for keeping you scrolling, 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:59.720 to keep you looking, to keep you on the app. 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:04.680 And so the most engaging thing for humans across the 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:09.319 board tends to be the abhorrent, the scary, the disgusting, 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:13.120 the repulse of the violent, the things that like, it's 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.880 a proven thing in research that you will sit and 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.800 look at something that brings you that makes you feel 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:22.560 anger or discussed longer than something that makes you feel joy. 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.960 Like that's just they've they've tested this, and so world 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.560 Star exists, right, Like it's why a site like world 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.959 Star can exist. World Star was probably where they figured 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.160 it out, Like world Star started before all of this stuff. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.200 It algorithm is popping world Star wars like yo fight 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:43.480 videos and and and upfront about it. Yeah, this is 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:46.080 where this is kind of what we're here for. And 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:48.840 and really with that the whole reality of that from 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:52.319 like a from science, okay, like just from the data, okay, 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:55.520 knowing that as black people we have to kind of 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:59.080 enter into this space like hyper aware, knowing that this 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.440 is what is happening to us. And what's messed up 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:03.760 about is that social media has been a place where 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.560 we really have benefited from some very good information. So 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:11.719 what I find is really difficult is or especially to 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:16.400 explain to other black folks whom I love, is that, Okay, listen, 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.080 just because you believe a thing right, you believe this 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:23.000 thing right, and you look at content that validates this 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.960 thing you believe. Every time you look at that content, 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.319 you're getting more and more of it, and so in 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:32.520 your mind, you're thinking, I'm getting my belief validated through 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.839 the information that I'm taking in. So I'm researched, I've 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.760 looked at all of the you know, I've heard it 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:43.720 from five different sources. When the app is basically saying, Okay, 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:48.000 you like strawberries, I'm just going to send you fifty 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.200 different types of strawberry content so that you start to 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:54.800 believe that strawberries is the preferred fruit for the entire 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:59.760 you know country, everybody likes strawberries. No one's allergic, you 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:01.600 know what I'm saying. It was like I think that 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.240 at the end of the day, it's like this thing 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.280 where we we go to a go there for something 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:10.200 and it has now become really our Achilles heel, you 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.600 know what I'm saying, and soul. Anyway, I just love 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:14.400 you to kind of speak to some of that energy 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.160 as we're as we're out here trying to get conscious. 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:19.040 Like okay, we're out here trying to get woked it 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.760 and trying to figure stuff out. You ain't gonna do 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:26.960 it through social media, not without a real You better 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.600 hit them encyclopedias back up. That's that's where my like, 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.680 if you want to ask you my my intellectual foundation started. 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.240 It was being a nerdy little boy who had that 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.680 full own box set of all the books in the basement. 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:43.360 So it's the Nintendo, it was, it was my cousin's 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.720 DJ tables, and it was Encyclopedia. That was our culture 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.079 and our time. So yeah, all of us had that, 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:57.760 but no, honey, I had our through them. Okay, girl, 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:00.199 I keep trying to tell you it was bougie the 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:02.719 whole thing. Neither don't get it. I had the whole thing, 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:08.680 and I'm from North Philly, North Side. I'm just saying 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:13.800 I was Chicago suburbs. I own the relative boogeness of 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:17.520 my experience. You know it is, we enjoy it. It's 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.920 a Chicago thing to a degree. People don't talk about 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.360 that part of Chicago. Chicago old black money. Got some 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:26.200 old black money in Chicago, right right, Which we'll circle 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.600 back to that in a second. Maybe. Yeah. My point 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.920 was to amplify what Age was just saying. If I 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.800 search something on Google or better yet, on one YouTube, 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:39.040 especially YouTube tracks what I searched for, and it gives 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:43.000 me what it thinks is its best like answers to 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:46.400 that question, and then it tracks which one I click on, 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:50.200 and then it uses that information to say, okay, this 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:53.840 person is you know, it pulls all It's like it's 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:55.520 like one of the Matrix movie where they pulling off 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.920 the screens in the one spot. It does that to 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.120 kind of say, okay, we know now collecting data on 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.480 this user, and we're going to surround this user with 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.120 things that will keep it watching. And just as as 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.600 Agent said, this tricks us into thinking that this is 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.240 all of YouTube, this is the world, This is the 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:17.320 information that everybody's seeing. But no, that is information that 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.800 has been curated for you to see, not for accuracy 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:26.120 or for your intellectual enhancement, but for you to keep 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.920 watching and so it will catch it will catch tendencies, 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.520 and it's and it's got two billion users, so it's 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.520 seen enough for us before to say, Okay, this person 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.360 clicked this, this, and this, so we know exactly what 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.960 to bring to the table and what it brings to 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:45.360 the table. If it's some bullshit, if it's some wild shit, 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:48.600 if it knows it places your vulnerabilities and it'll keep 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:50.520 you clicking. Like the thing I talked about a lot 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.440 in one of my videos when I was talking about 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.840 the manisphere, is that my research. And this is not 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.880 like I am an academic researcher by trade, but this 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:01.680 is also this is YouTube the time, right, But the 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.800 research I've done, the people I'll talk to the Minister 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.840 of People will come at between like thirteen and twenty 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.280 two and they'll give you six months to two years. 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:14.080 The average person, and what happens is they have a breakup, 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.080 they get cheated on, they get dumped, they strike out 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.160 on a girl they really liked, they feel like they 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:22.240 got played, they got you know whatever, and they start 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:25.440 they'll just search how to talk the girls. And so 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.680 how to talk the girls might start with some decent, 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:30.840 you know, some decent advice. Yo, be yourself and you know, 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:32.640 make sure you wear your best outfit. Don't be trying 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.760 to talk to girls when when you ask you whatever, 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:37.440 it'll start with that. But like two or three more 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.880 clicks in this. You know women, you wouldn't be so hard. 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:43.200 Women were more submissive. And if black women didn't do 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.160 this and didn't do that. And once you start and 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.040 you're vulnerable in that moment because you're usually coming from 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:50.600 a place of lacking pain, and you hear people in 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:52.960 your ear telling you exactly what you want to hear, 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.840 it's a very it's a grooming process, and boys are 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.360 actually groomed from early on. That's why that statement I 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:03.040 made at the beginning, not just strong black men, because 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.960 while I aspire to and desire that from myself and 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:10.879 my sons, that sets a precedent for boys to be 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.320 groomed into certain attitudes and certain world views that are 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:16.960 harmful not just to other people if they don't do 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:20.120 it right, but to their own emotional wellness. And so 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.200 if you like been in that for a long time 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.239 and you start getting them videos telling you it's all 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:27.399 the women's fault, man, that'll suck you right in. I 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.240 don't know what it is. It's in our brains, it's 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.840 in our systems. We see the results. You know. It's 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:33.720 the same thing with the q onin folks, any type 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:37.240 of nonsense when people are vulnerable, the nonsense will that 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.720 feels that vulnerability, that makes them feel whole again, They're 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.600 gonna seek that out like a drug in the algorithm, 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.440 just a computer. I don't care. It just knows you 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.120 can keep watching these ads. That's all it cares about. 0:17:53.040 --> 0:18:05.960 More real talk after the break. So while you're out 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:09.080 there trying to kind of counteract us as a creator, right, 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.640 and you're out there saying, okay, I'm pointing this out 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:16.199 to y'all and specifically about the minisphere, which when you 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:17.919 answer this, I would love for you to like just 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:21.520 kind of give our listeners a little bit of a 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:24.800 background and what that is. But I think, um, so 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:27.000 while you're out there doing that, what is the reaction 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.760 from from your own folk black folk men and women, Like, 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:33.800 what is this reaction like when you say, Hey, this 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.199 is what you're listening to is playing to your vulnerability. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.720 There's a problem. What is the feedback? It's a Bill Kurve, right, 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:45.320 So it's like a variety of different responses. The first 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.600 thing I want to put out there is that you know, 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.560 and I'm sure you I assume that you all have 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:53.879 experienced in real life like good brothers. You know what 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:56.080 I'm saying. We all know, we all know a few 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.159 of them dudes. But like in my experience, most of 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:01.439 the men in my life and that I've been around, 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.720 wouldn't set foot in the manisphere, wouldn't be caught dead. 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:06.679 Like I said it in one of my videos, these 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:10.160 dudes are low key, really losers. But they but they're 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.480 they're charged up, like they're propped up by the algorithms. 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:19.760 They're propped up because they make for good content. Literally hilarious. Yeah, 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:24.240 it's very exactly. You know, train wrecks. You know, I'm 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:29.520 going to use some language that clowns. I'm trying. I'm 0:19:29.520 --> 0:19:31.359 trying to be careful of my in my language about 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:35.280 ableis and mental illness. Clown clown niggels. I feel good 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:38.399 about that one. And so a clown nigga can't be 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:41.879 the center of attention anywhere but the Internet. But if 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:43.560 he gets in the Internet and he's surrounded by the 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:49.240 clown niggas, he becomes like clown clown, he becomes Kevin Samuels, 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:50.720 you know what I'm saying. Like, if you know Kevin 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.400 Samuels's background, you know, and this is not to disparage 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.520 the dead for those who are sensitive to that, but 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.159 if you if you research his background, that man was 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.600 a buffoon and a loser for most of his life 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:03.600 until he embarrassed a black woman and collected a lot 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:05.320 of clowns. You know what I'm saying. And some of 0:20:05.400 --> 0:20:07.359 his clowns where other black women. Let's be let's keep 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:12.320 a buck, keep it a buck, um, right right, right. 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:15.280 So to answer your question, I have a lot of 0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:17.840 black men, the vast I would say. If I have 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:22.639 four hundred thousand some chain subscribers, I'm gonna say thirty 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:24.919 forty percent of that as black men. And most of 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.359 those men are like, I am so happy to hear 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.960 somebody speaking and making me feel like I'm not crazy, 0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:33.600 you know what I'm saying, making me feel like I'm 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:35.640 not the only one, because you know, We're gonna be real. 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.080 We're still a lot of men. Most men still operate 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:44.440 with a traditional classically masculine persona and ideology that's tied 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:47.560 to patriarchy, and that can be that has lots of 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:50.880 evidence that that doesn't lead to good things in certain situations, 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:55.760 white supremacy. You know, these these traditional gender norms are 0:20:55.960 --> 0:21:00.440 tend to be unhealthy and in their best their typhone. 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.760 If there worse, they're Kevin Samuels, right, And so you know, 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:05.639 I don't I don't expect every brother to be as 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:08.199 deep into the leftist theory as I am. But a 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:12.720 lot of brothers don't like how black women, especially online, 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:17.000 talk about us and perceive us. And it's because we've 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.119 allowed these Well before I used to say, it's because 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:23.440 we've allowed these other men to speak for us on 0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:27.159 social media platforms. And what I found out after getting 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:32.159 on here is that it's almost impossible to be a 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:37.160 black man and gain a platform without doing that crazy shit. 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:39.359 You know what I'm saying, because the algorithm will not 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.240 reward it. I gotta go on. It's gotta be one, 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:43.879 it's got to be more than just got be. But 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:46.800 let's take that statement that all more of them will 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:52.000 not reward it. And people are making a living off 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:57.200 of the Internet. And if you don't have something that's 0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:03.640 salacious or a spirited then you're not going to make 0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:06.760 the money that you you possibly could, or at least 0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:08.560 making other people money. You gotta be able to make 0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:10.160 other people money if you ain't got that other stuff. 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:13.800 Isn't this doubly triplely dangerous for black folk? Oh yeah, 0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:17.840 like to engage in this kind of behavior. Yeah, it's 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:22.080 it's it's all those things because there and we're also 0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:27.800 furthering the perception of who we are. Yeah, yeah, we 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:32.080 continuing that. It's it's it's a very hard So, like 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:36.760 I got on because I did some uh I pults me. 0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:39.640 So I don't know some Michael Eric Dyson, uh some 0:22:39.800 --> 0:22:43.320 Uh what's the what's the Van Jones? I did some 0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:46.960 really good like, Hey, I'm a here's a video. I 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:50.960 am an intelligent I mean to stand up intellectual black man. 0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:53.800 Yes I am intellectual black man that I love black 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:59.120 women Jones. But yes, I will talk to you about race, 0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:01.040 but I won't make you feel so bad. Here's me 0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.400 explaining to all the things. And so like I didn't 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:05.240 know I was doing that. I was just making videos 0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:07.280 and then but I started to see like who I 0:23:07.320 --> 0:23:10.520 was attracting with that. Now I was like, okay, okay, 0:23:12.080 --> 0:23:14.280 I'm seeing how to split together. So my next video, 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:17.840 I'm starting out talking about the Saint Louis Race riots 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:21.800 first vide, I'll have to hit a million views my 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.119 next video. I started out with the Saint Louis Race riots. 0:23:24.400 --> 0:23:26.399 But to kind of like say yes to you know 0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:29.119 what YA was saying. I got on by proving myself 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:33.320 valuable to a whole different audience. And once I kind 0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:37.120 of had that in hand, I started saying, how can 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:40.600 I serve essentially two masters? How can I bring out 0:23:40.640 --> 0:23:43.480 all this other stuff that is truly more important to 0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:46.640 me as a creator, but also make sure that algorithm 0:23:46.760 --> 0:23:49.800 respects my gangster and keeps on showing people my videos 0:23:50.040 --> 0:23:53.280 because people will have a million subscribers. But every video 0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:56.240 is a new as a news. It's like I call 0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.399 it a credit score. It's like a credit check. And 0:23:58.440 --> 0:24:00.520 so like, right now, I got really good credit. So 0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:02.560 if I drop a video, YouTube's like, hey, send that 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:06.359 nigga video everywhere. If we're good, that bore good. But 0:24:06.359 --> 0:24:09.720 if I drop a couple of turns a couple of 0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:12.360 joints that don't do well people not feeling them. It's 0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.400 going to drop my credit score, and even if even 0:24:14.440 --> 0:24:17.080 if nobody unsubscribed to my channel, it's going to be 0:24:17.119 --> 0:24:19.840 hard for my video to reach as many people as 0:24:19.880 --> 0:24:22.320 it did if I kept that credit score up. Thus 0:24:22.440 --> 0:24:25.600 like and share. So in that mindset, there's a formula. 0:24:25.880 --> 0:24:29.000 I'm guessing that you know this. There's like it must 0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:30.760 be at least a few things that you do for 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:34.120 Relic in every video to kind of know that this 0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:36.960 will at least get me here, right? Are there things 0:24:37.000 --> 0:24:40.200 like that something like that? Like I know, so YouTube 0:24:40.200 --> 0:24:41.960 gives you all your data and tells you about your 0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:44.760 audience or who your audience watching, what they're searching for, etc. 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:48.720 So like, right now, my audience has been really like 0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:50.880 I made a Lauren Hill video a couple of months back, 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.000 and so like people keep searching for Lauren Hill and 0:24:53.040 --> 0:24:55.800 find my video. So like the algorithms telling me, hey, 0:24:55.800 --> 0:24:57.800 making another Lauren Hill video, and I'm like, I don't 0:24:57.800 --> 0:25:00.400 know if you understand that that's not going to really work. 0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:03.800 I'm gonna trust my own instincts and then try to 0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:06.040 do like Lauren Hill all the time and lose a 0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:08.360 lot of people. So it gives you data. So yes, 0:25:08.440 --> 0:25:10.640 like my next video, the video, I got a video 0:25:10.680 --> 0:25:12.680 coming out in two weeks that's just gonna be all 0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:15.760 about drama and like a lot of what I'm talking 0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:18.240 to y'a all about, right, So I know that's gonna kill. 0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:21.880 And then after that, I'm going to talk about men's desirability, 0:25:22.080 --> 0:25:24.359 which I know I have a strong male fan base 0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:26.560 and there's a lot of women that want to learn 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:29.200 and understand men better, So I know that video's gonna 0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:32.320 do well. After that, I'm talking about black leftist movements 0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:35.520 and black political movements from like you know, I'm explaining 0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:38.639 how Mark the King and Malcolm X are really socialists 0:25:38.640 --> 0:25:45.680 and stuff like that. That'll be good, right, the same audience, 0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:48.800 And exactly I'm gonna wait for that video, right right, 0:25:50.000 --> 0:25:52.080 you have worried about my drama videos. I'm gonna talk 0:25:52.080 --> 0:25:54.280 about these white folks thisssing me on the back end, 0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:57.520 right I know they are. But then I'm gonna come 0:25:57.520 --> 0:26:00.280 back to give you some life when I get back 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:05.080 to this Fred Hampton, Uh the King stuff, w boys, 0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:07.520 black nationalism stuff. It's like, okay, now, I gotta pull 0:26:07.600 --> 0:26:09.320 y'all back in, because that's that's why I want to 0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:11.439 say anywhere this is mind blowing because people don't really, 0:26:11.480 --> 0:26:14.000 I don't know, people respect content creators enough to know that, Like, 0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:15.959 do y'all realize that this man just said he has 0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:19.159 already prepared for four shows, like he's a month ahead 0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:23.120 and it's more than that months? How many months? I'm 0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:26.240 four videos down right now? So four months if I 0:26:26.280 --> 0:26:30.320 release one one a month, okay, you know my and 0:26:30.359 --> 0:26:33.359 then all of that to the thing is one for 0:26:33.400 --> 0:26:36.800 the algorithm, one for the fans, one for you, hold 0:26:36.840 --> 0:26:41.200 on right, one for the did your school listen? Write 0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:45.160 it down? Down? One more time? The man has damn 0:26:45.160 --> 0:26:48.000 there half a million subscribers. That's done a year and 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:51.440 a half. One for the algorithm, come on. Two one 0:26:51.480 --> 0:26:53.920 for the fans, one for the fans, one for you, 0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:58.760 one for you. I'm doing like I'm doing like two 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:01.480 for the algorithm, one for the ands, and then one 0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:05.080 for me. Um And that last one is uh is 0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:07.000 a I almost don't want to say it because I 0:27:07.040 --> 0:27:10.800 just wanted to be a surprise with people. It's about 0:27:10.800 --> 0:27:13.080 a rapper. It's about a rapper that don't nobody talk 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:14.760 about no more. But he's low key one of the 0:27:14.760 --> 0:27:18.960 most influential rappers to ever spit but like he was 0:27:19.000 --> 0:27:23.199 such a a weird, unique figure that like he just 0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:27.480 kind of disappeared. Nope, Nope. When I tell this story, 0:27:27.480 --> 0:27:29.480 you're gonna be like you right, You're right. I don't. 0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:33.520 I still like them, but because I don't like him, 0:27:33.520 --> 0:27:35.720 he's hilarious to me. But when I when I went 0:27:35.720 --> 0:27:37.720 through his story, I was like, Yo, this story is like, 0:27:38.400 --> 0:27:40.399 this is like one of the most important figures in 0:27:40.480 --> 0:27:44.840 hip hop is alive. He's still alive. He's still making 0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:49.240 music too. But you gotta wait till like March March, 0:27:49.400 --> 0:27:52.720 March April ish. That's when the show, that's when you're doing. 0:27:53.119 --> 0:27:54.720 That's when that video is going to Oh my god, 0:27:54.720 --> 0:27:57.479 I gotta get my min together. That is a beautiful planning, 0:27:58.000 --> 0:28:00.520 it is. But this is the thing, right, So, if 0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:02.639 you're gonna be righteous, I'm sorry, if you're going to 0:28:02.720 --> 0:28:05.600 even try to be righteous in these on these platforms, 0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:10.720 in these streets, you have to be very intentional. And 0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:13.240 what that has to tell you is that those who 0:28:13.320 --> 0:28:17.520 don't mean you any good are also intentional. Who if 0:28:17.640 --> 0:28:21.400 who who claim to be righteous, but everything about them 0:28:21.440 --> 0:28:23.800 says that they are feeding the algorithm. They want the 0:28:23.800 --> 0:28:28.360 algorithm to reward them. And so these are things I 0:28:28.440 --> 0:28:32.159 need to be clear on. Yeah, is this so, is 0:28:32.160 --> 0:28:37.119 this an entire world of for lack of a better phrase, sellouts. 0:28:38.160 --> 0:28:42.800 I mean, it's selling out now though, but it for 0:28:42.880 --> 0:28:46.440 different purposes. Yeah, I would say it's for the same purpose. 0:28:46.720 --> 0:28:50.000 It's just easier to do it now. And it's more 0:28:50.560 --> 0:28:53.200 like the rewards are more instant, you know what I mean, Like, 0:28:53.760 --> 0:28:55.800 can you talk about that? Can you talk about the rewards? 0:28:56.400 --> 0:29:00.960 The rewards are clout, fame, money, you know what I'm saying, 0:29:00.960 --> 0:29:02.880 and low effort like the thing that's the other thing 0:29:02.880 --> 0:29:06.840 that's crazy. So let's you know, insert I'm much again. 0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:08.520 I'm gonna try to not throw shave it. Insert like 0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:12.000 Raggedy Nigga here with a platform, right, you know, just 0:29:12.040 --> 0:29:14.920 putting in your head and then think about how much 0:29:14.920 --> 0:29:17.640 work I put for agencies. You've watched, You've seen how 0:29:17.680 --> 0:29:19.920 much work I'll be putting in my videos. You know, 0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:23.720 I'm writing ten thousand words scripts. I got a whole editor, 0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:26.920 I paid for per project. I got music direction from 0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:30.400 my head, I got art direction. I'm on Twitter. I'm 0:29:30.440 --> 0:29:33.040 managing like I'm doing all kinds of stuff because I 0:29:33.160 --> 0:29:36.400 know the algorithm. I gotta keep showing it's it's really 0:29:36.440 --> 0:29:38.800 on some twice as good for half as much shit. 0:29:39.440 --> 0:29:41.560 But if I was a coofye nigga that just wanted 0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:44.960 to shoot on black women, I could easily make the 0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:50.000 same amount, do the same numbers, and and with like 0:29:50.120 --> 0:29:53.200 a fraction of the effort. Like you look at you 0:29:53.240 --> 0:29:56.760 look at Kevin Samuels's rise, like he never even had 0:29:56.840 --> 0:30:03.160 decent audio, Like he never got he never figured out. Yeah, 0:30:03.240 --> 0:30:06.720 but no, right he show up, he says. And the 0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:10.440 funniest thing is when you hear people say, the excuse 0:30:10.520 --> 0:30:13.200 that most folks would make for Kevin Samuels is that 0:30:13.240 --> 0:30:15.240 he just really wanted to help black people. You know 0:30:15.280 --> 0:30:17.400 what I'm saying, He's just running black men and women 0:30:17.440 --> 0:30:19.520 to get right and get married, et cetera, et cetera. 0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:22.760 Which if you, if you stretch, you could you could 0:30:22.800 --> 0:30:26.040 pull that out of his content. But what you what 0:30:26.200 --> 0:30:29.160 you realize if you do the research, is that whatever 0:30:29.240 --> 0:30:32.360 positive he was doing, what didn't nobody care? What nobody 0:30:32.360 --> 0:30:37.000 paying attention until he started embarrassing black women. And when 0:30:37.000 --> 0:30:40.600 he started embarrassing black women. Yeah, suddenly the floodgates opened 0:30:40.600 --> 0:30:42.720 for him to get more attention. He started going viral 0:30:43.080 --> 0:30:46.120 over and over again, and then he became this prophet 0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:48.040 to people. You know what I'm saying, it's like, oh 0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:50.840 were you what did you come for? When did you? 0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:53.440 When did you get there? Because he would talk bad 0:30:53.480 --> 0:30:55.600 as he would talk just as bad about black men 0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:58.080 as he did black women on at times. It's just 0:30:58.120 --> 0:31:00.640 that those pieces wouldn't always take it out of the 0:31:01.160 --> 0:31:05.240 into virility. And is this cross cultural? What I'm asking 0:31:05.440 --> 0:31:09.680 is if an Asian man did the same to Asian women, 0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:14.520 if a Latin like is it just asked the question? Yeah, sorry, 0:31:14.560 --> 0:31:17.440 it's number one? Is this cross cultural? Where it occurs? 0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:21.000 And number two, would they be as successful or are 0:31:21.040 --> 0:31:24.600 we just the most successful at this because of black 0:31:24.640 --> 0:31:27.680 women being in the target. It's it's so this a 0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:33.720 both end. So yes, it's cross cultural. However, shitting on 0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:36.880 black people is like the top tier. That's the that's 0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:44.360 the code, is it, Kobe b for that's the that's 0:31:44.360 --> 0:31:46.200 the top of the top of the food chain. One 0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:49.360 thing I realized, so within the manisphere, there are no 0:31:49.520 --> 0:31:52.760 major white figures, none of the major figures in the 0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:56.400 manisphere that have been successful over the years have been 0:31:57.320 --> 0:32:02.120 white men. They've all been South Asian. Um uh, we'll 0:32:02.160 --> 0:32:05.880 say racially yea South Asian, not East Asian. That's a 0:32:05.960 --> 0:32:11.680 very clear thing. They're a South Asian racially ambiguous, right, Well, 0:32:11.880 --> 0:32:15.280 we're talking about as a guy, one of the new guys. 0:32:15.320 --> 0:32:19.560 It's his name is Hamza. He's not as overtly toxic, 0:32:20.200 --> 0:32:22.680 but he is a South Asian man from the UK, 0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:26.680 very dark skinned, very good shape, and it's it's something 0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:29.640 about how we consume. One thing people don't think about 0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:34.080 is how everybody We talk about patriarchy in general, and 0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:37.600 understandably so we're usually thinking about how patriarchy affects women 0:32:37.640 --> 0:32:40.600 because women are usually on the receiving end of the 0:32:40.640 --> 0:32:44.200 worst effects of patriarchy. But we don't always we don't 0:32:44.320 --> 0:32:48.160 always have a good breakdown of how patriarchy is fueled 0:32:48.320 --> 0:32:54.280 by the bodies the humanity of men, and the most 0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:57.640 useful fuel is always going to be men of color, 0:32:57.680 --> 0:33:01.760 because patriarchy of a self is a white supremacist construct. 0:33:02.120 --> 0:33:04.360 So white men don't want to see other white men. 0:33:04.400 --> 0:33:06.479 We don't want to see other white men acting crazy 0:33:06.520 --> 0:33:10.680 towards their women. That ruins the mystique. We are on 0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:12.960 a pedestal, so you're not supposed to do that. You 0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:15.240 can't be doing that. So if you are a white man, 0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:17.200 you can talk crazy about and trust me, those dudes 0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:21.880 are out there, but they'll never be big because they 0:33:21.880 --> 0:33:25.520 will be like there's an internal element especially and proud 0:33:25.600 --> 0:33:29.920 boys don't do that. They do they do on the load, 0:33:30.000 --> 0:33:32.240 but we just do that doesn't make it out. There's 0:33:32.280 --> 0:33:34.200 plenty of like proud boys have done, they do on 0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:35.880 the load, but that doesn't make it. That doesn't make 0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:38.120 it out. What that doesn't go viral, that doesn't go 0:33:38.160 --> 0:33:43.000 to the top their success? Yes, what gives them? Do 0:33:43.080 --> 0:33:46.400 they get out? You know with the racism and the qcause. 0:33:47.240 --> 0:33:52.080 But for for misogyny, we have it because it has 0:33:52.120 --> 0:33:55.720 to be men of color, because misogyny is only really 0:33:55.720 --> 0:34:00.240 okay against women of color who are real them in 0:34:00.280 --> 0:34:05.920 to begin with, I can't deal with these truths. Put 0:34:05.960 --> 0:34:10.440 this to these people. No, no, seriously, listen, Oh babay, 0:34:11.560 --> 0:34:16.319 my edges are tangling because they're growing. A tan is 0:34:16.360 --> 0:34:20.959 coming in. It's so thick to see the hair growing. 0:34:21.040 --> 0:34:24.719 It's like a y and silky Jill Okay, I think 0:34:25.080 --> 0:34:27.759 I think she is shocked. Ladies and gentlemen, Jill, I 0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:33.960 think she. I don't know. We're gonna take a quick 0:34:34.000 --> 0:34:46.360 break and then we'll be right back. I want you 0:34:46.400 --> 0:34:49.040 to keep going about the humanity of men and how 0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:53.799 patriarchy really affects them as a black women, because no, 0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:57.080 seriously no, because this is something we don't talk about. 0:34:57.320 --> 0:34:59.359 There is there does seem to be to be an 0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:02.440 uptick and black men who are starting to express just 0:35:02.520 --> 0:35:05.520 how heavy this load has been. Unfortunately some of them 0:35:05.520 --> 0:35:09.879 tend to express that frustration towards black women. But help us, 0:35:10.040 --> 0:35:12.759 help us to help them or help them to make 0:35:12.800 --> 0:35:15.600 this connection as to who is really at fault for 0:35:15.680 --> 0:35:18.239 the fact that you don't feel human and that how 0:35:18.360 --> 0:35:22.040 patriarchy is really like chilling on your shoulder's head neck 0:35:22.520 --> 0:35:26.440 back on a chess daily. So let's let's be clear. 0:35:27.320 --> 0:35:31.480 The source of this problem is white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. 0:35:31.520 --> 0:35:33.600 Now us, that's your good old Bill Hooks. And some 0:35:33.880 --> 0:35:37.040 brothers hate hate on Bill Hooks. But like I ain't 0:35:37.040 --> 0:35:38.600 one of them. You know what I'm saying. Every every 0:35:38.640 --> 0:35:42.759 scholar has their flaws. Bill Hooks as less than most 0:35:43.239 --> 0:35:47.000 and gives and gave gave life when I needed it 0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:48.680 as a black man, when I was having my sons 0:35:49.200 --> 0:35:53.000 um And so it starts with that because black people 0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:57.759 were never meant to like embody these gender norms and 0:35:57.880 --> 0:36:01.440 like ideals as we strive to do. And I'm not 0:36:01.480 --> 0:36:04.560 saying you should do that. I'm I am a heterosexual man, 0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:08.720 bread winner. Now offer YouTube money. Two kids, two boys, 0:36:08.719 --> 0:36:11.400 were raising them as boys until further notice, Like I 0:36:11.440 --> 0:36:16.080 am not put pulling the classic nature of of what's 0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:18.880 it's safe is to do as a human in this country. 0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:20.840 It's safe is to just go with the flow unless 0:36:20.840 --> 0:36:24.640 you can't do it right. But what happens is we 0:36:25.320 --> 0:36:27.400 start to think, and this is something, this is a 0:36:27.440 --> 0:36:30.520 survival tactic from black people. We say, yo, you keep 0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:33.360 doing this other shit. We can't stop stop that. You 0:36:33.400 --> 0:36:35.279 know what I'm saying. As little girls, it was you 0:36:35.320 --> 0:36:39.440 acting fast. Pull you know that skirt too short? You 0:36:39.480 --> 0:36:42.080 know what I'm saying. The attitude is too loose, whatever 0:36:42.080 --> 0:36:46.319 it is, and that is a protective like that's a 0:36:46.400 --> 0:36:49.640 goal of protecting you, but it's an attack on your humanity, 0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:51.560 you know what I'm saying. At the same time, and 0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:54.080 we don't always have the language to say you know, 0:36:54.480 --> 0:36:56.600 you know, big Mama didn't have the language to say, yo, 0:36:56.920 --> 0:36:59.080 I'm trying to protect you from these streets or from 0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:02.479 those people, from the boys, whatever that little big Mama said. 0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:04.840 If you don't sit your ass down, I'm gonna get you, 0:37:04.880 --> 0:37:08.600 know what I'm saying. Like, and so without unpacking that, 0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:12.719 these things just become regular, normal statistical stuff does. And 0:37:12.760 --> 0:37:17.040 so with boys it's worse because over time a lot 0:37:17.120 --> 0:37:19.600 of women, you all develop a you all have more 0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:23.800 opportunities to develop a critical lens on how you're treated 0:37:24.160 --> 0:37:28.120 because you're you're you're you want to survive, right, You're 0:37:28.200 --> 0:37:31.440 like trying to survive situations that I ain't. Like when 0:37:31.480 --> 0:37:34.280 my all let my wife get gass here in Atlanta, 0:37:34.560 --> 0:37:36.600 Like if the guards gotta get gassed up and I'm not, 0:37:36.719 --> 0:37:38.920 and I'm not, Like my wife will take off the garbage, 0:37:38.960 --> 0:37:41.240 but she won't get gas. You know what I'm saying, 0:37:41.320 --> 0:37:43.440 I'm not even knowing that like a real man whatever, 0:37:43.520 --> 0:37:46.440 I don't do that. But I know that if somebody 0:37:46.520 --> 0:37:48.200 gonna get if I might go to the gas station 0:37:48.280 --> 0:37:51.000 get robbed, my wife might go and get robbed and 0:37:51.080 --> 0:37:55.759 kidnap you feel me, So it's a different set of risks. Yeah, 0:37:55.880 --> 0:37:59.640 And so women develop this critical lens there's so much 0:37:59.640 --> 0:38:02.840 out there for women to develop this critical lens um 0:38:02.880 --> 0:38:05.319 at different stages in life. There's just so much there. 0:38:05.360 --> 0:38:09.759 But for men we are kind of held to this no, 0:38:09.920 --> 0:38:13.160 but you gotta be the men. And and a real 0:38:13.320 --> 0:38:17.000 man does blank, And it's like, what if I don't 0:38:17.000 --> 0:38:19.759 do that, does that make am I no longer real man? 0:38:20.400 --> 0:38:25.360 And from that unfill so much trauma. And because of 0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:29.720 the nature of emotions among men, we can't even unpack 0:38:29.800 --> 0:38:33.080 that trauma. So we drink it, we smoke it, we 0:38:33.520 --> 0:38:35.440 beat it, you know what I mean, we take it 0:38:35.440 --> 0:38:38.440 out on y'all. Um. Like the thing a thing that 0:38:38.520 --> 0:38:41.240 every every brother, So two things that almost every brother 0:38:41.280 --> 0:38:45.040 you talk to will tell you is he probably he 0:38:45.480 --> 0:38:49.919 was told he had to stop crying, and a woman 0:38:49.960 --> 0:38:52.279 probably told him, and a woman probably told him ye. 0:38:53.040 --> 0:38:59.680 And then he probably lost his virginity well before he 0:38:59.800 --> 0:39:03.040 was ready to be engaged in sexual activity to a 0:39:03.160 --> 0:39:07.000 woman that was way older than him. And though and 0:39:07.000 --> 0:39:09.319 and and like, so you have men and so these 0:39:09.320 --> 0:39:13.680 are like foundational experiences that black men, in particular, we 0:39:13.719 --> 0:39:18.279 are more um exposed to these risk factors. Um, And 0:39:18.280 --> 0:39:20.520 we've been dealing with this for as long as y'all 0:39:20.520 --> 0:39:22.319 been dealing with everything y'all have been dealing with. We're 0:39:22.320 --> 0:39:26.080 talking about general rate, we're talking about posts reconstruction, we've 0:39:26.080 --> 0:39:29.440 been dealing with this ship and we still like the 0:39:29.480 --> 0:39:33.600 sex thing, the the the habitual, the the the ritual 0:39:33.680 --> 0:39:37.480 rape of black boys still hasn't entered this conversation. We're 0:39:37.480 --> 0:39:41.239 at least talking about the crime, about the heaviness, right 0:39:41.719 --> 0:39:45.480 we have, Yeah, we had a whole episode about this. Yeah, yeah, 0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:48.720 y'all Black men and losing verity so young to older women, 0:39:48.920 --> 0:39:51.560 and brothers ain't ready to have that conversation. I still can't. 0:39:51.840 --> 0:39:53.560 It's still hard for me to get a brother to 0:39:53.560 --> 0:39:56.600 think about whether or not him losing his virginity at 0:39:56.640 --> 0:39:59.399 thirteen to a thirty year old was a healthy thing 0:39:59.440 --> 0:40:01.120 for him, you know what I mean. And you look 0:40:01.120 --> 0:40:03.080 at some of the brothers, brothers, and this is and 0:40:03.120 --> 0:40:07.520 this is where it gets complex, right because because we're 0:40:07.560 --> 0:40:10.840 talking about the problem, right, why supremacist superstructure, right, But 0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:13.799 we in community together. So when I start yelling who 0:40:13.840 --> 0:40:15.719 I'm ana hit first, I'm a yellow one of y'all. 0:40:15.960 --> 0:40:17.480 And if I get hurt, who I'm gonna get hurt, 0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:19.319 But I'm gonna get hurt by one of y'all. And 0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:22.359 so like, it becomes complex because we we we see 0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:24.200 who we see in the news on a regular basis 0:40:24.239 --> 0:40:28.600 as black Man, Nick Cannon, the baby Chris Brown once 0:40:28.680 --> 0:40:31.760 upon a time, Mike Tyson, all of those brothers, Little Wayne, 0:40:32.239 --> 0:40:35.160 all of those brothers are victims of child sexual assault 0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:41.080 that they that they r Kelly, I forgot about. Did 0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:50.479 I call it? Did not call it? Yea call it? Yeah? Yeah, Oh, 0:40:50.719 --> 0:40:54.320 I'm sorry. You asked me what was wrong with me earlier? 0:40:55.560 --> 0:40:58.960 Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just receiving all of this information, 0:40:59.239 --> 0:41:04.360 and it's hiding. It's it's heavy, it's it's very very heavy, 0:41:04.360 --> 0:41:08.720 because you know, they're absolutely incredible men that I love, 0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:12.920 and I have a son, and I have nephews, and 0:41:13.000 --> 0:41:19.640 I'm watching this negative energy towards all of us, towards 0:41:19.760 --> 0:41:23.520 all of us. Bitches ain't shit, niggas, ain't worth nothing. 0:41:23.760 --> 0:41:26.560 You gotta get that money, get money off them. Niggas. 0:41:27.440 --> 0:41:31.359 They're not people anymore. They're not human beings in any way, 0:41:31.360 --> 0:41:34.799 shape or form. There are means to an end and 0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:37.919 that is all. And that is very painful to me 0:41:38.360 --> 0:41:43.600 for just just for the future. It is very painful 0:41:43.640 --> 0:41:49.360 to me as a woman. I'm like in anytime. Okay, 0:41:49.360 --> 0:41:54.399 for instance, um, something very close to me is an 0:41:54.400 --> 0:41:58.319 incredible philanthropist on a regular basis. And I'm and I'm 0:41:58.360 --> 0:42:00.560 not saying once a month, I'm talking come out once 0:42:00.600 --> 0:42:04.040 a week. It's a whole effort to get homeless people 0:42:04.120 --> 0:42:08.640 food and shelter and shoes and socks, you know, supplying 0:42:09.080 --> 0:42:12.520 you know, crates and crates of socks for people like 0:42:12.640 --> 0:42:14.319 you don't even think about it, but if you don't 0:42:14.320 --> 0:42:17.480 have anything warm feet, like really really matter it, really 0:42:17.520 --> 0:42:20.319 really mad. It's okay, So all of these gestures to 0:42:20.440 --> 0:42:24.960 be kind and on his social media he'll get like 0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:31.000 sixteen likes, sixteen, But that girl over there, who is 0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:36.239 in a different outfit with you know, the same background, 0:42:36.880 --> 0:42:41.879 is clapping her booty cheeks and she's about thousands of likes. Well, Jill, 0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:43.719 have you seen anything when people do now they put 0:42:43.719 --> 0:42:46.200 the little they put a girl who's like dancing tantally 0:42:46.239 --> 0:42:48.200 with a little outfit on to get your attention and 0:42:48.200 --> 0:42:50.759 then need to get your attention. And that's I think 0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:55.000 that that's genus verse. Every time I see that, I think, Yes, 0:42:55.120 --> 0:42:57.600 Lupa had a verse of one of his mixtapes where 0:42:57.600 --> 0:43:02.120 he was like, Niples is nuclear missiles, Uh, you know 0:43:02.200 --> 0:43:05.600 Loupelupe and so like it's on an old mixtape, and 0:43:05.640 --> 0:43:08.239 he was talking about like, if I want to really 0:43:08.280 --> 0:43:10.120 get some shit out, I gotta put it next to 0:43:10.160 --> 0:43:13.839 the sexy to the sex syed right right right. And 0:43:14.360 --> 0:43:17.120 I'm just trying to figure out, Okay, we know we're 0:43:17.440 --> 0:43:20.000 aware of all the harms because the Adam motherfucker, so 0:43:20.480 --> 0:43:25.560 niggas hear me something like that I got on the shirt. 0:43:26.160 --> 0:43:30.680 So so how how on earth do we make this 0:43:30.719 --> 0:43:34.359 work for our benefit? Like, I think that that's an 0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:37.359 excellent suggestion. I've actually suggested that to them before, like 0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:39.600 get to get a big booty Judie, let her dance 0:43:39.640 --> 0:43:44.120 for about zero seven seconds and switch over to these 0:43:44.120 --> 0:43:47.360 people are hungry in the country, right, and this is 0:43:47.400 --> 0:43:51.120 what we're doing, and we'd appreciate some more support if 0:43:51.160 --> 0:43:54.040 you could just you know, because it could be you 0:43:54.280 --> 0:43:57.200 at any time. There's a conversation about you know, the 0:43:57.760 --> 0:44:03.279 quote about the Master's tools, um, and yeah, I always 0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:08.279 I'm always like, yeah, but I don't know, man, these short, 0:44:08.400 --> 0:44:12.440 these swords are sharp, like these these tools is efficient 0:44:12.480 --> 0:44:17.959 and so like there's I mean, like number one, intercommunal 0:44:18.000 --> 0:44:21.080 local organizing is like it's key for anything you're doing 0:44:21.560 --> 0:44:23.920 because you always be more beholden to the people who 0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:30.480 you see I rl um or or online. You'll I'm sorry, 0:44:30.719 --> 0:44:34.719 that's okay, Like and I'm forty, Like I ain't that 0:44:34.880 --> 0:44:42.759 young personal zomig, we don't know that us us No, 0:44:42.840 --> 0:44:45.440 that's fine, but as gen xers anyway, we are in 0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:47.440 the height of having to keep up. So I'm not 0:44:47.440 --> 0:44:49.560 surprised at your forty because we're the ones that got 0:44:49.560 --> 0:44:52.440 to balance all this ship. Yeah, you're just a geriatric 0:44:52.520 --> 0:45:02.840 midillennials beyond my ass, boy, I mean, you ain't got that. Yeah, 0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:05.680 what's that? Can you can? You can you email that 0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:10.920 to me? Email? Like right right? But yeah, they they 0:45:11.080 --> 0:45:14.000 we gotta you know, local organization is useful, you know 0:45:14.000 --> 0:45:17.040 what I'm saying, Like, just it starts with community because 0:45:17.080 --> 0:45:20.960 communities will have like the research shows that the communities 0:45:20.960 --> 0:45:22.680 that have the least amount of problems are the ones 0:45:22.680 --> 0:45:25.040 that are the closest. Because you're not gonna rob the 0:45:25.080 --> 0:45:27.439 store of your homeboy, auntie. You know what I mean. 0:45:27.800 --> 0:45:29.759 You're not gonna break in your and your and your 0:45:29.920 --> 0:45:36.160 sister's boyfriend or baby daddy house unless unless you're you know, 0:45:36.239 --> 0:45:37.799 unless that was the plan. But you get my point. 0:45:37.840 --> 0:45:44.319 Like generally, community is always a key, Yeah, But beyond that, 0:45:44.920 --> 0:45:47.680 while we're in here, while we're on these platforms, we 0:45:47.760 --> 0:45:49.880 gotta just we gotta step up the game, and we 0:45:49.920 --> 0:45:54.439 gotta really like learn and understand how these systems work, 0:45:54.880 --> 0:45:57.960 how they are not built and it's not And I 0:45:58.000 --> 0:46:01.680 want to be clear, the system is a reflection of society. 0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:04.160 It's a reflection of the people's reflection of where we are. 0:46:04.160 --> 0:46:06.600 And let's I want to people want people say I 0:46:06.640 --> 0:46:08.480 keep talking about the system, and I'm like, yeah, well, 0:46:08.480 --> 0:46:11.040 if he fixed the system, the people will follow. But 0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:15.960 I got to be clear, the people are there as well. Um. 0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:19.719 But if we take advantage of how these systems work 0:46:19.920 --> 0:46:23.480 and we understand how they maneuver, we can get certain 0:46:23.520 --> 0:46:26.600 messages out there and grow. Like Kendrick Lamar is a 0:46:26.600 --> 0:46:29.320 good example. Like when you when you like Kendra Lamar, 0:46:29.480 --> 0:46:33.359 ain't did a whole song about trans understand the trans people. 0:46:33.719 --> 0:46:37.600 This biggest rapper in the world did a whole song 0:46:37.680 --> 0:46:41.920 about understanding trans people. It wasn't the perfect like you know, 0:46:42.160 --> 0:46:48.880 like academic understood everything, but it's started the conversation you 0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:52.520 never expected to come from the biggest rapper in the world. 0:46:52.760 --> 0:46:55.520 I almost wish he would come outside more, but I'm like, 0:46:55.800 --> 0:46:58.560 in a social way, just to fight some of the 0:46:58.719 --> 0:47:00.720 other stuff like that. I saw him on a commercial 0:47:00.719 --> 0:47:02.480 recently and I was like, damn, he don't do commercials. 0:47:02.600 --> 0:47:05.560 This is crazy because you don't come out. But but 0:47:05.600 --> 0:47:08.320 I think it's because of what we're talking about. It 0:47:08.400 --> 0:47:10.920 is just the fact that it's like if you engage 0:47:11.000 --> 0:47:13.600 too much, it can you can open yourself up to 0:47:13.640 --> 0:47:16.520 the toxicity of it all, and it can shift you motivation, 0:47:16.960 --> 0:47:19.839 it can shift what your you know, your ideals and 0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:22.160 what's important to you. To have to kind of retreat 0:47:22.880 --> 0:47:25.719 is important because you talked about community, but also think 0:47:25.719 --> 0:47:28.799 it's that place to retreat, to pull out and to 0:47:28.920 --> 0:47:31.560 reconnect to what it is is truly important to you 0:47:31.640 --> 0:47:35.080 because and to reassess what your actual values are, like 0:47:35.200 --> 0:47:37.799 why am I here? Why am I doing this? What 0:47:38.040 --> 0:47:41.719 is my purpose? You know what I'm saying, because unfortunately 0:47:41.760 --> 0:47:44.359 it's the quiet of it all. Another thing that we had. 0:47:44.400 --> 0:47:47.319 You know, obviously, you know we all you know, our 0:47:47.320 --> 0:47:49.120 members at the church and in that ministry. You know 0:47:49.160 --> 0:47:51.480 what I'm saying. So even when we talk about rest 0:47:51.800 --> 0:47:54.400 and that that kind of taking that moment to be 0:47:54.480 --> 0:47:58.280 able to have space to think about our ideas because 0:47:59.040 --> 0:48:02.359 there's so much rick, there's so much noise, there's so 0:48:02.480 --> 0:48:05.239 much going on that you know, you don't even have 0:48:05.239 --> 0:48:07.399 a chance to decide what you feel or think about 0:48:07.440 --> 0:48:11.160 a thing. It's being dictated to you every single day, 0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:14.000 all day long, and you'll be sitting up there spitting 0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:17.200 an opinion. It's not even your opinion, it's it's the 0:48:17.239 --> 0:48:20.600 shit you heard three or four and that's something that 0:48:20.680 --> 0:48:24.560 you heard. You don't even know you know heard. You 0:48:24.600 --> 0:48:27.560 know what I'm saying, to really think about how those 0:48:27.600 --> 0:48:29.920 things affect the person to your left. You're right, your 0:48:29.960 --> 0:48:32.239 front and your back. I tell people all the time, 0:48:32.719 --> 0:48:35.040 people be talking about all this stuff about relationships, and 0:48:35.120 --> 0:48:37.480 they grandma and the women ain't how they used to be. 0:48:37.760 --> 0:48:39.520 I said, tell me, you ain't never had a conversation 0:48:39.560 --> 0:48:41.319 with your grandma without telling me you ain't never had 0:48:41.320 --> 0:48:45.200 a conversation with your grandma. Come on, tell me that 0:48:46.040 --> 0:48:48.319 tell me you have never had a conversation with your 0:48:48.320 --> 0:48:51.160 grandma without telling me that you ain't never had a 0:48:51.200 --> 0:48:54.359 conversation with your grandma, right, say shit like women ain't 0:48:54.360 --> 0:48:58.080 how they used to be Grandma, grandpa, stay together, y'all 0:48:58.160 --> 0:49:00.279 came like you ever hear what grandma? I have to 0:49:00.280 --> 0:49:03.960 deal with the statement exactly. And somebody tweeted this and 0:49:03.960 --> 0:49:05.680 I will not take credit for this. Ign't remember the 0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:07.960 girl's neighbor, she said, first of her. The reason why 0:49:08.040 --> 0:49:09.840 some of us don't do the same things our grandma's 0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:12.160 did because some of our grandmas pulled our asses off 0:49:12.160 --> 0:49:16.959 to the side and said, don't do this, don't do that. 0:49:17.480 --> 0:49:19.879 You know what I'm saying. So it's like it is 0:49:19.920 --> 0:49:22.799 that the beauty of conversation, you know, and not to 0:49:23.280 --> 0:49:25.640 not to be on our whole, Like let's turn it 0:49:25.719 --> 0:49:28.200 full circle to what we do here at Drey darn Ill. 0:49:28.640 --> 0:49:30.640 But that is what we do here. We're having a 0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:33.120 conversation because at the end of the day, the culture 0:49:33.200 --> 0:49:36.560 part of it is the harder part to change. Yeah, yeah, 0:49:36.719 --> 0:49:39.080 it's because people some of the factors. And one thing 0:49:39.920 --> 0:49:42.960 you said that also, I think connects to something Jill 0:49:43.000 --> 0:49:45.920 just said, like a lot of brothers are in survival 0:49:45.960 --> 0:49:49.239 more in a way that I don't think, Like, I 0:49:49.280 --> 0:49:52.479 think women want to understand, and I think women think 0:49:52.520 --> 0:49:56.080 they understand what I'm telling y'all, y'all don't understand. No, 0:49:56.200 --> 0:49:58.839 we know, we don't understand. We know, we just want to. 0:49:59.040 --> 0:50:01.600 We do want to. I think you, like a lot 0:50:01.680 --> 0:50:04.560 of women do know that. But I think the nature 0:50:04.600 --> 0:50:08.719 the energy, especially on social media, it feels like a 0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:10.640 lot of brothers just feel like they're being talked down 0:50:10.680 --> 0:50:13.000 to and talked over when they're trying to speak to 0:50:13.040 --> 0:50:16.160 certain things. But even before that, right, Like, that's like 0:50:16.440 --> 0:50:19.440 when we get into these frivolous, you know, gender wars conversations, 0:50:19.719 --> 0:50:21.000 and I don't give a lot of credence to that 0:50:21.000 --> 0:50:23.600 because so much of that is just for low key entertainment. 0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:27.959 When I'm talking about like Jill's nephews, right what they what? 0:50:27.960 --> 0:50:31.680 What has to be recognized. I talked about this in 0:50:31.680 --> 0:50:34.040 the video I can't if y'all want to watch me 0:50:34.280 --> 0:50:38.239 like this conversation with another brother from Chicago who like 0:50:38.560 --> 0:50:41.480 is also deep into this um I talked about, y'all 0:50:41.480 --> 0:50:44.960 remember the story of Yummy Sandiford. I don't he was 0:50:45.200 --> 0:50:48.319 he was a thirteen year old Chicago, and I guess 0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:50.439 this would have had to be ninety five, ninety six. 0:50:50.880 --> 0:50:52.719 That guy, that guy he was. It's it's it's a 0:50:52.719 --> 0:50:54.160 horrible story. I don't want to get too deep into 0:50:54.160 --> 0:50:58.080 the story, but like that story haunts me because that 0:50:58.480 --> 0:51:01.799 at thirteen, even in the sub birds, it hit me 0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:07.000 like what black male humanity was really worse. I had 0:51:07.000 --> 0:51:09.799 heard the Immett Till story before, which is also like, 0:51:10.280 --> 0:51:12.560 you know, a scarring thing, and I had, you know, 0:51:12.680 --> 0:51:15.319 heard such and such gang violence, whatever, whatever. But when 0:51:15.360 --> 0:51:18.000 that boy's face popped up on the news, it took 0:51:18.000 --> 0:51:21.000 a piece from it, like it took a piece from 0:51:21.080 --> 0:51:23.840 me that I have yet to get back because I 0:51:23.880 --> 0:51:26.440 see it in my son's eyes. And by the way, 0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:30.120 my son just had a little boy died. My son 0:51:30.160 --> 0:51:32.560 and we go to a good school. Little boy got 0:51:32.560 --> 0:51:34.799 shot at the bowling now a couple of weeks ago, 0:51:35.560 --> 0:51:38.120 soever years old. They didn't gone, and my son came 0:51:38.120 --> 0:51:40.960 out of school. He was like, Dad, you did you 0:51:41.000 --> 0:51:45.879 hear about the little boy that got shot? And I'm like, yeah, man, well, 0:51:46.239 --> 0:51:47.719 and I almost said, like I didn't say this, but 0:51:47.760 --> 0:51:49.400 it's like it was like I here, we go, this 0:51:49.480 --> 0:51:53.640 is the beginning of this conversation. And so what these 0:51:53.800 --> 0:51:57.719 boys need, what your nephews need, your sons, is they 0:51:57.920 --> 0:52:02.800 need opportunity to take off that armor that they're building 0:52:02.880 --> 0:52:06.600 because they see this, they see what just happened in Memphis. 0:52:06.680 --> 0:52:09.640 You know what I'm saying. They see how how black 0:52:09.680 --> 0:52:13.160 men are depicted, how we depict ourselves, and they start 0:52:13.600 --> 0:52:17.840 they start adding plis, they start adding shelves, and that 0:52:17.880 --> 0:52:20.759 allows them to be callous to women. That allows them 0:52:20.840 --> 0:52:22.959 to be callous to each other, you know what I'm saying. 0:52:23.040 --> 0:52:26.960 And like that is and that's why I, even though 0:52:27.000 --> 0:52:30.600 I'm critical, I try to hold space because I'm lucky 0:52:30.719 --> 0:52:34.680 enough to have had a relatively emotionally engaged father and 0:52:34.760 --> 0:52:37.520 a lot of of like emotionally engaged men and strong 0:52:37.600 --> 0:52:42.000 black women who said I not really though, like like 0:52:42.120 --> 0:52:46.560 you be okay, protect you, mentors, access whatever. So I've 0:52:46.640 --> 0:52:49.120 never had to armor up like some of these brothers said. 0:52:49.800 --> 0:52:51.839 This typeree thing is really making I feel like two, 0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:54.239 it's a whole other level of brother's arm armor, Like 0:52:54.280 --> 0:52:57.719 this has just been heavy for all of us as 0:52:57.719 --> 0:53:03.319 a community. But you know, yeah, because I think that 0:53:03.400 --> 0:53:05.560 the thing is that like the humanity aspect, you said, 0:53:05.600 --> 0:53:08.560 like you like here, it goes right here here, here's 0:53:08.640 --> 0:53:11.239 the beginning of it. For me to look at my 0:53:11.280 --> 0:53:13.920 son's and think, you know, I think a similar thing happened. 0:53:14.080 --> 0:53:16.719 And I wouldn't say similar, but a somewhat similar thing 0:53:16.760 --> 0:53:19.680 happens with women. The first time that you have to 0:53:19.680 --> 0:53:22.000 talk to your daughter about what's going to happen when 0:53:22.000 --> 0:53:25.000 she goes outside, regardless of what she's welcoming or not, 0:53:25.560 --> 0:53:28.239 right that that that moment that you look at your 0:53:28.280 --> 0:53:30.279 twelve year old daughter and you're like, damn it, I 0:53:30.360 --> 0:53:32.840 gotta talk to her about cat calls. I got to 0:53:32.840 --> 0:53:34.919 talk to her about creepy looks. I got to talk 0:53:34.960 --> 0:53:41.520 to her about right, I got to talk it's and 0:53:41.520 --> 0:53:44.680 and you've got to talk about old If you say 0:53:44.800 --> 0:53:46.720 no that you're gonna be called a bit, you're stuck 0:53:46.760 --> 0:53:48.480 up bl blah blah blah blah blah. So there's it's 0:53:48.520 --> 0:53:51.600 similar somewhat, But I understand that the humanity aspect of it, 0:53:51.640 --> 0:53:55.040 the life or death aspect of it, it is beyond 0:53:55.200 --> 0:53:57.759 the understanding of not being able to live in that 0:53:57.840 --> 0:54:01.160 body and live in that experience. And I want this 0:54:01.280 --> 0:54:03.600 so badly for black men to be able to be 0:54:04.000 --> 0:54:07.200 to understand their humanity, and for us to celebrate their 0:54:07.280 --> 0:54:11.640 humanity and not in words, in action and understanding all 0:54:11.680 --> 0:54:15.759 of these systems. If you're not having a conversation for me, 0:54:16.200 --> 0:54:19.399 and much love to you, it doesn't affect my love right, 0:54:20.000 --> 0:54:23.160 But for me, you can't have a conversation with me 0:54:23.520 --> 0:54:27.239 about racism, about white supremacy, if we're not having a 0:54:27.280 --> 0:54:31.160 conversation about gender patriarchy, if we're not talking about its 0:54:31.160 --> 0:54:34.719 effect on your humanity in mind, then unfortunately, it is 0:54:34.800 --> 0:54:37.400 not the level of conversation to which I'm interested in 0:54:37.480 --> 0:54:41.719 engaging with you about. Like I can love you, I 0:54:41.760 --> 0:54:44.160 can want the best for you, but we are not 0:54:44.280 --> 0:54:47.799 able to have that conversation because it is one in 0:54:47.880 --> 0:54:50.680 which I know it's never going to end up in 0:54:50.719 --> 0:54:53.920 your liberation. You're not going to feel like a human 0:54:54.080 --> 0:54:57.280 if you're not going to consider this part of the experience. 0:54:57.760 --> 0:54:59.960 And that's the problem I have with so many soul calls, 0:55:00.040 --> 0:55:03.560 so pro black folk that come out here. They don't 0:55:03.600 --> 0:55:07.359 they're not really actually talking about the humanity of black men. Yeah, 0:55:07.360 --> 0:55:10.839 they're playing a hit, still talking about a character. They're 0:55:10.880 --> 0:55:14.279 still talking about something that don't exist. And that's the thing, 0:55:14.360 --> 0:55:16.920 like imagine, Like, so I don't like to play the 0:55:16.960 --> 0:55:20.440 oppression Olympics because it's it's always going to rail the conversation. 0:55:21.040 --> 0:55:24.799 But the one thing I think that would help is 0:55:25.280 --> 0:55:28.680 we both have this similar experience of like having to 0:55:28.760 --> 0:55:32.920 like the personalized from our humanity as black people a 0:55:33.080 --> 0:55:36.440 man and women as children. But the difference is, I 0:55:36.480 --> 0:55:41.960 think women have developed that conversation over generations y'all, But 0:55:42.040 --> 0:55:44.839 like niggas weren't even Like I'm the like niggas didn't 0:55:44.840 --> 0:55:48.640 even talk to their fathers until like thirty years ago. 0:55:48.960 --> 0:55:50.719 You hit a dad in the home that nigga did 0:55:50.760 --> 0:55:53.959 not talk to you if you was born before nineteen eighty, 0:55:54.640 --> 0:56:00.359 that's like and like to do that was to teach 0:56:00.360 --> 0:56:02.000 you how to be a man. Shut the fuck up 0:56:02.000 --> 0:56:04.719 and do the thing. Watch me and suck it up. 0:56:04.760 --> 0:56:07.080 Watch me. Don't say shit till we don't ask for 0:56:07.120 --> 0:56:09.120 a ug don't ask me how I feel. I don't 0:56:09.120 --> 0:56:15.480 got no feelings, nigga, I'm surviving offenses and so like, 0:56:15.840 --> 0:56:18.759 we haven't developed that stuff. And so that's what I 0:56:18.760 --> 0:56:21.239 think a lot of brothers are doing now. And it's 0:56:21.320 --> 0:56:24.359 hard because and I'm gonna just keep it real. It's 0:56:24.400 --> 0:56:26.799 hard on all lovers y'all can think of. It's there's 0:56:26.800 --> 0:56:28.759 a lot of brothers that's so invested in patriarch and 0:56:28.800 --> 0:56:31.280 they're like, these niggas soft, these niggas gay, these niggasist 0:56:31.320 --> 0:56:33.759 is niggas that we need the real man to stand up. 0:56:33.840 --> 0:56:35.799 That's what we need. And it's like, all right, y'all 0:56:35.800 --> 0:56:37.759 been here for a minute, We see what y'all been 0:56:38.040 --> 0:56:39.840 spending your time on. So it's a lot of that, 0:56:39.960 --> 0:56:42.879 right white spens. But a thing that doesn't get talked 0:56:42.920 --> 0:56:47.920 about is women are invested in that caricature as much 0:56:47.960 --> 0:56:53.080 as men are. Oh yeah, yeah man or a strong 0:56:53.200 --> 0:57:02.360 man right right then that nigga was emotional, and that's 0:57:02.960 --> 0:57:07.240 don't do that. Don't do that. You know, it's can balance, 0:57:07.360 --> 0:57:11.480 that's all us I'm saying, as us. The balance is 0:57:11.640 --> 0:57:29.760 all fair. More conversation after the break. Can I can 0:57:29.800 --> 0:57:31.800 I propose how to fix this thing? I don't know. 0:57:32.160 --> 0:57:34.439 I don't know, but I think you know, this goes 0:57:34.480 --> 0:57:36.600 back to how do we eat an elephant? You know 0:57:36.840 --> 0:57:42.840 one by that at the time deep programming programming process 0:57:43.000 --> 0:57:45.480 because because because it can go either way, when when 0:57:45.560 --> 0:57:47.520 you when you're dealing with the man, and then the 0:57:47.520 --> 0:57:53.120 man is for emotional You know that can't work either. 0:57:54.240 --> 0:57:57.800 It's irrational. It's a risk for y'all different than us, 0:57:57.920 --> 0:57:59.720 you know what I'm saying, Because yeah, like y'all just 0:57:59.760 --> 0:58:02.320 needs to be normal, because you never know which dude is, 0:58:02.360 --> 0:58:09.240 like right, But I need you to have at least 0:58:09.280 --> 0:58:12.440 five emotions, and not just to please oh please. I 0:58:12.440 --> 0:58:14.720 don't care about the number of emotions. I just need 0:58:14.800 --> 0:58:16.680 you to maybe like develop a little bit of your 0:58:16.680 --> 0:58:19.800 ability to have the words that match them. Thank you, 0:58:19.920 --> 0:58:21.960 like just say I don't. You can say all the 0:58:22.000 --> 0:58:24.280 things you want to feel, like bro, but if it's 0:58:24.320 --> 0:58:28.200 if it's if it's jealousy, if it's an abandoned men, 0:58:28.400 --> 0:58:33.480 if it's if it's you know whatever, whatever, the words are, happy, joy, whatever. 0:58:33.960 --> 0:58:36.240 I just when I went to therapy, I got this 0:58:36.600 --> 0:58:39.520 picture of a yarn, right, and it was called the 0:58:39.560 --> 0:58:42.440 Ball of Emotions, and on all the little pieces of 0:58:42.520 --> 0:58:46.880 yarn were different feeling words. And I realize how little 0:58:47.560 --> 0:58:52.200 feeling word vocabulary I had as an adult person. And 0:58:52.280 --> 0:58:55.840 that's why I don't fault men or anybody for not 0:58:55.960 --> 0:58:58.640 having this language. I'm just asking that we all try 0:58:58.760 --> 0:59:01.240 because if we can communicate with feeling, that changes and 0:59:01.240 --> 0:59:04.720 it all cooking humanizes you towards each other. If you 0:59:04.760 --> 0:59:07.400 can say this, this is what I am feeling. If 0:59:07.400 --> 0:59:11.600 you have to default to happy or sad, angry, happy, sad, angry, 0:59:12.240 --> 0:59:16.800 oh God in the bathroom, you need more than that. Yeah. 0:59:16.800 --> 0:59:18.600 I just feel like they don't get hurt. And this 0:59:18.760 --> 0:59:21.040 is real. As a brother, you don't get hurt if 0:59:21.040 --> 0:59:25.040 you unless you're angry or lustful or violent, you know 0:59:25.080 --> 0:59:26.920 what I mean. That's when we that's that's a that's 0:59:26.920 --> 0:59:28.520 a Bill Hooks quote. You know what I'm saying. Black 0:59:28.560 --> 0:59:31.640 man receive the most attention when they're violetly acting out. 0:59:32.120 --> 0:59:34.640 And you don't think that's changing a little bit. It's 0:59:34.720 --> 0:59:37.880 changing because I just said to a brother the other day, 0:59:37.920 --> 0:59:39.400 I was like, he said, you know, he said he 0:59:39.720 --> 0:59:42.560 got electric tooth brush and a therapist. And I was like, nigga, 0:59:42.600 --> 0:59:47.520 you don't know how sexy that's saying. And an electric 0:59:47.560 --> 0:59:51.280 two brush. You are evolved black man. And that's the frontier. 0:59:51.320 --> 0:59:55.560 I think I'm one where so things are growing and changing, right, 0:59:55.600 --> 0:59:58.920 and so some dudes are really feeling, they start to 0:59:58.920 --> 1:00:01.640 feel insecure about the they status because like dudes will 1:00:01.640 --> 1:00:03.080 come in the room be like, I'm an alpha male. 1:00:03.280 --> 1:00:06.240 I'm an alpha male. I don't need emotions. I got 1:00:06.240 --> 1:00:08.760 ten women, I got I got what the bugattis. That's 1:00:08.760 --> 1:00:11.760 what Andrew Table was talking about. And it's like and 1:00:11.920 --> 1:00:14.800 like there are less women have y'all are y'all look 1:00:14.800 --> 1:00:16.920 at you know, y'all like this, This doesn't look like 1:00:16.960 --> 1:00:19.800 a healthy brother. The build life went to connect too 1:00:19.840 --> 1:00:22.720 long term. But this dude over here with the electric toothbrush, 1:00:22.800 --> 1:00:26.640 in the in the in the plants, Yes, you plant 1:00:29.920 --> 1:00:33.720 and it's healthy. Yeah. So like you if you got 1:00:33.800 --> 1:00:37.240 to announce that you're an alpha male, you ain't be 1:00:37.240 --> 1:00:39.560 an alpha male if you if you, if you'll you 1:00:39.600 --> 1:00:42.240 know the my video coming up, we're talking about desirability. 1:00:42.520 --> 1:00:45.360 And it's like the funny thing that I found through 1:00:45.400 --> 1:00:47.280 my research. It's something I kind of knew but just 1:00:47.280 --> 1:00:50.040 didn't have the details on. It's like dudes would be 1:00:50.080 --> 1:00:52.680 on tender right, Dudes will there'll be they'll be in 1:00:52.720 --> 1:00:56.120 a gym getting it in right. And so they got 1:00:56.120 --> 1:00:58.360 the all the all the all the extra bumps and 1:00:58.480 --> 1:01:01.280 veins that you know, somebody love it. Some ladies like it, 1:01:01.640 --> 1:01:04.400 but they think all the ladies love it, and so 1:01:04.480 --> 1:01:09.520 they tender thing be like who and it's like ain't no, 1:01:09.640 --> 1:01:12.400 ain't when they're clicking that bro like if you don't, 1:01:12.440 --> 1:01:14.720 if you don't, if you don't cook something. That's me 1:01:14.760 --> 1:01:16.560 and my husband. Me and my husband will talking about 1:01:16.560 --> 1:01:19.400 this recently about about like R and B music where 1:01:19.440 --> 1:01:22.160 it's just like the old kind of go tos for 1:01:22.320 --> 1:01:24.960 R and B male singers to like get women going. 1:01:25.640 --> 1:01:28.600 They don't work anymore, like if you see it, it 1:01:28.800 --> 1:01:31.640 just it's not the same that whole humping the stage 1:01:31.680 --> 1:01:34.120 and you got your shirt unbuttoned down to the belly 1:01:34.200 --> 1:01:37.280 button and it's like, you know, I've been giving the 1:01:37.360 --> 1:01:40.240 hey girl, they still work for me. I don't know, 1:01:40.760 --> 1:01:43.200 I said, I don't know for me as for me 1:01:43.240 --> 1:01:45.439 and my study. So I think I'm going to love 1:01:45.600 --> 1:01:51.080 for the It's nostalgic, baby, it's nostalgic. You old honey 1:01:51.360 --> 1:01:55.680 is playing too into the nostalgiob. Okay, have you seen Bobby? 1:01:55.840 --> 1:01:57.200 I mean I don't, I don't. I don't know what 1:01:57.200 --> 1:01:58.840 the young bro boys I mean, I got it. I 1:01:58.880 --> 1:02:01.160 see it like one of my home he's terb a 1:02:01.160 --> 1:02:04.720 shout out to home term he got like, you know, 1:02:05.120 --> 1:02:08.320 pink locks, and he got like the choker with the 1:02:08.360 --> 1:02:11.720 cross on it, so he like he like a black vampire, 1:02:12.040 --> 1:02:14.560 and like, I know, i'd be talking to him, like 1:02:14.560 --> 1:02:17.440 I'd be careful. There's at a certain point once you 1:02:17.480 --> 1:02:20.520 get enough subscribers, they're gonna come and you need to 1:02:20.760 --> 1:02:24.480 be responsible and smart about how them dms work, because 1:02:24.520 --> 1:02:29.160 the dms, you know, it's it's it's it's an interesting experience. 1:02:29.200 --> 1:02:30.960 And I'm not I wasn't a brother, you know, I'm 1:02:31.040 --> 1:02:35.560 I'm from the nineties, so like being the thoughtful, intellectual 1:02:35.560 --> 1:02:38.600 shot brother was not getting the panties thrown at me 1:02:39.040 --> 1:02:41.960 in high school. But undergrad I figured out how to 1:02:42.000 --> 1:02:46.600 perform uh masculinity, desirable masculinity, and you know, we got 1:02:46.640 --> 1:02:48.880 some we learned some things, and then I met my 1:02:48.920 --> 1:02:51.240 wife and we just grew together and figured it out 1:02:51.360 --> 1:02:53.200 with each other. But like, if I was to hit 1:02:53.240 --> 1:02:54.800 the streets again, I'd be like, I don't know what's 1:02:55.400 --> 1:02:58.080 I don't know what these folds are doing. Getting all 1:02:58.160 --> 1:03:08.960 the panties is even a cold like ever since I 1:03:09.000 --> 1:03:10.880 hate that. It's a goal, man. I mean what I 1:03:10.920 --> 1:03:13.800 said when I said I hate I would prefer you know, honestly, 1:03:14.120 --> 1:03:16.520 you know, since I'm a mom, you know, and my aunt, 1:03:17.040 --> 1:03:20.480 I would prefer for you to choose well that not 1:03:20.960 --> 1:03:24.200 get it all quality over quantity for real, And I 1:03:24.200 --> 1:03:26.440 would really love for you to care about your penis. 1:03:27.080 --> 1:03:37.240 You care about you dick, if you you might want 1:03:37.240 --> 1:03:40.480 to use that. And that's another thing brothers be, you know, 1:03:40.560 --> 1:03:43.320 like it ain't possible, like some brothers will look like 1:03:43.440 --> 1:03:47.200 I don't know, Jonathan Majors to look like he looks 1:03:47.280 --> 1:03:50.240 right now. That ain't natural for most men. I think 1:03:50.240 --> 1:03:53.120 maybe Michael b might be the only dude that ain't 1:03:53.160 --> 1:03:56.640 working super super look like that. What you mean, y'all, 1:03:56.680 --> 1:04:00.640 muscle memory is crazy better than ours, it's better in y'alls, 1:04:00.720 --> 1:04:03.800 but like it still ain't to look like how Jonathan 1:04:03.880 --> 1:04:07.240 Major's looks right now. Work on that. You gotta work 1:04:07.280 --> 1:04:09.600 on that in a way that either you got certain 1:04:09.680 --> 1:04:15.160 chemicals in your body or you got a ridiculous work ethic, 1:04:15.320 --> 1:04:17.720 you know that. And that work ethic comes out of 1:04:17.760 --> 1:04:20.880 costs and it calls certain equipment. Like folks, they won't 1:04:20.920 --> 1:04:24.160 tell you that, y'all know that that's true, but oh 1:04:24.640 --> 1:04:26.960 speak the truth. I just heard that, Yeah, and I 1:04:26.960 --> 1:04:31.439 can also attest that there there's certain men that are 1:04:31.520 --> 1:04:38.360 just blessed that way, just blessed what you do, just 1:04:38.400 --> 1:04:43.960 like some women are just ridiculously blessed. God knew not 1:04:44.000 --> 1:04:47.960 to give it to me, He knew she don't know, 1:04:48.040 --> 1:04:51.320 she don't deserve it. Siana Sailors said, she don't. She 1:04:51.360 --> 1:04:53.720 don't exercise at all. She just dance. And it's like, 1:04:53.800 --> 1:04:56.320 clearly that's just a blessing, you know what I'm saying. 1:04:56.440 --> 1:04:58.320 Some people like it. Some people are like that, I 1:04:58.360 --> 1:05:01.480 should say, but I'll be trying to tell brothers, like, 1:05:01.560 --> 1:05:04.360 look y'all out here, you you're gonna need like you 1:05:04.520 --> 1:05:07.080 like Jill just said, you're gonna need that later. Yeah, 1:05:07.400 --> 1:05:09.400 you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I didn't think about that. 1:05:09.520 --> 1:05:13.560 You're teaching class today, sir. People like all kinds of 1:05:13.640 --> 1:05:17.640 things anyway, you know. Also also blood pressure, So blood pressure, 1:05:18.000 --> 1:05:21.600 please speak on it. I'm gonna Get'm gonna get a 1:05:21.600 --> 1:05:25.080 little personal right. I'm forty years old. I was diagnosed 1:05:25.120 --> 1:05:28.440 so how blood pressure at thirty six ish, and it 1:05:28.520 --> 1:05:30.360 runs my family runs in a lot of folks families. 1:05:30.360 --> 1:05:34.160 But also diet, I'm overweight, et cetera. And boy for 1:05:34.160 --> 1:05:36.480 for like when I had to first get medicine for 1:05:36.560 --> 1:05:38.560 that first six months, I was like, oh no, we 1:05:38.680 --> 1:05:42.200 gotta something gotta give because I can't live like this. 1:05:42.600 --> 1:05:44.840 I can't live like this for the rest of my life. 1:05:45.160 --> 1:05:48.040 So um, and think I got started exercising, I got 1:05:48.040 --> 1:05:50.640 to lower my dositch and I got functional and I 1:05:50.680 --> 1:05:54.040 was like, okay, cool, And like, COVID has not been 1:05:54.120 --> 1:05:56.440 nice to me in this new job where I'm literally 1:05:56.480 --> 1:05:59.439 doing this for most of my days has put weight 1:05:59.480 --> 1:06:01.360 on me. But you best believe your boy got a 1:06:01.440 --> 1:06:04.439 gym membership late last year and I'm trying to work 1:06:04.480 --> 1:06:08.120 it out for you. Some brothers will function, but they're 1:06:08.120 --> 1:06:10.520 not in there, like they're not with you. And and 1:06:10.560 --> 1:06:12.640 I'm sure y'all of it. Have you experienced that some 1:06:12.720 --> 1:06:15.560 brothers can can can be there with the equipment that 1:06:15.640 --> 1:06:19.560 you need, but the connection that you desire during the act, 1:06:20.520 --> 1:06:22.040 they and they have been in and out of so 1:06:22.080 --> 1:06:25.000 many women and so many experiences that they just don't 1:06:25.000 --> 1:06:30.320 even have the valuative. It's very performed because because a 1:06:30.360 --> 1:06:32.120 lot of brothers. I have a video you can watch. 1:06:32.680 --> 1:06:35.680 Um it's called a Conservatives are bad at sex um. 1:06:35.760 --> 1:06:40.800 But I get into that we've going back to how 1:06:40.840 --> 1:06:45.000 black men are are idealized. Um, you know the man Dingo, 1:06:45.280 --> 1:06:48.840 the pipe layer, you know what I'm saying, the myster 1:06:48.960 --> 1:06:52.360 fix it, the Jodi, and so a lot of brothers 1:06:52.600 --> 1:06:58.400 start separating genuine pleasure from sex early on because sex 1:06:58.560 --> 1:07:03.280 is only about checking off scores, like numbers going up. 1:07:03.680 --> 1:07:06.320 For a lot of brothers, I don't understand an orgasm, 1:07:06.360 --> 1:07:08.320 just thinking that it means that something's coming out your body, 1:07:08.360 --> 1:07:13.360 something coming out body, this feels we want and so like, yeah, 1:07:13.480 --> 1:07:16.760 you got to do that. Hopefully you know everybody different, 1:07:16.800 --> 1:07:18.600 but like you got to do that for the rest 1:07:18.600 --> 1:07:22.240 of your life. And like if you start out the 1:07:22.360 --> 1:07:28.400 bat disentangling like pleasure and connection and sensuality from the 1:07:28.520 --> 1:07:32.040 act of sex. I know, I know brothers that are 1:07:32.200 --> 1:07:34.520 interested in sex. Now, I'm sure, y'all. I'm sure, y'all. 1:07:34.520 --> 1:07:36.840 If it's not you, no shade. But if it's not you, 1:07:36.840 --> 1:07:39.480 you know a girlfriend that's like such and such I've 1:07:39.480 --> 1:07:44.840 been with forever, it ain't And that comes from not 1:07:44.960 --> 1:07:54.160 coming right. Wow, there's a lot into our glasses. There's 1:07:54.200 --> 1:07:57.480 a lot being poured into there, and you know we 1:07:57.600 --> 1:08:02.680 are primarily dehydrated anyway, most of us. So what we're 1:08:02.720 --> 1:08:06.600 getting is a lot of um is a lot of bullshit. 1:08:07.040 --> 1:08:09.600 And what I'm asking you to do as well as 1:08:09.640 --> 1:08:13.360 myself shit, all of us. We just pay attention to 1:08:13.560 --> 1:08:16.759 what is showing up on our social media. Pay attention. 1:08:17.080 --> 1:08:21.280 If it's a bunch of you know, um, negativity or 1:08:21.720 --> 1:08:27.200 or or disrespect for black women or black men, you 1:08:27.360 --> 1:08:29.760 start blocking the shit. I don't know if that, if 1:08:29.760 --> 1:08:32.920 that works in changing your algorithm. No, you got to 1:08:33.040 --> 1:08:37.360 change your art. No, it's their fault, it's yours, your faults. 1:08:37.400 --> 1:08:39.280 Start looking at other shit like I do. I am 1:08:39.360 --> 1:08:41.880 really manipulating my algorithm. I'm like, I want the right 1:08:41.960 --> 1:08:44.760 shopping shit, talk about it. I got friends who their 1:08:44.800 --> 1:08:47.280 algorithm is everything. They in the cooking shit all and 1:08:47.320 --> 1:08:49.280 shit come up, all the people who cook they're to 1:08:49.320 --> 1:08:50.800 come up. You know what I'm saying. If you're in 1:08:50.880 --> 1:08:53.479 the other jewelry and all come up, like you just 1:08:53.560 --> 1:08:57.000 have to change yo. Shit. It ain't about the internet. 1:08:58.880 --> 1:09:02.200 You are if you aren't interested in changing your shit. Right, 1:09:02.880 --> 1:09:06.599 there's two or three ways to manipulate your algorithm. One, 1:09:06.800 --> 1:09:11.599 start a whole new account from scratch. If you don't 1:09:11.600 --> 1:09:16.200 want to do that, Um, you gotta you gotta start 1:09:16.240 --> 1:09:19.120 intentionally shitting on the bad stuff. So like, if you 1:09:19.160 --> 1:09:21.840 got YouTube right, YouTube don't like when you watch one 1:09:21.880 --> 1:09:25.000 second of a video and click off. Oh YouTube hates 1:09:25.040 --> 1:09:27.240 that shit. So if you see some some negative shit 1:09:27.320 --> 1:09:29.720 pop up on your feed, click on that, watch for 1:09:29.760 --> 1:09:32.840 one second, then click off that shittube. They don't like it. 1:09:32.960 --> 1:09:36.600 They don't like it. We got you, we like YouTube 1:09:36.800 --> 1:09:38.840 is one of the one of the I talked because 1:09:38.840 --> 1:09:40.280 I've talked to these people. They say, it's like a 1:09:40.320 --> 1:09:44.040 puppy that just wants to please you. And the puppy 1:09:44.080 --> 1:09:45.840 when you come in the house, the puppies like, hey, 1:09:45.840 --> 1:09:47.800 I got let me go get you this thing. And 1:09:47.840 --> 1:09:50.000 they come to the to ther door with you know, 1:09:50.040 --> 1:09:51.760 a bone or something. And if you take the bone, 1:09:51.760 --> 1:09:54.080 I like, this is great. The puppies gonna wag, they 1:09:54.080 --> 1:09:56.240 tell and bring you more bones. But if you take 1:09:56.280 --> 1:09:58.559 the bone, but like, shit out of here, the puppies 1:09:58.560 --> 1:10:00.599 gonna feel bad for a second. But it's gonna find 1:10:00.640 --> 1:10:02.479 something else for you to you, for you to play with. 1:10:02.560 --> 1:10:05.120 You know what I'm saying, If you would notice, and 1:10:05.240 --> 1:10:07.200 I think that I think that even ties into what 1:10:07.240 --> 1:10:09.559 you were saying about the master's tools. It's like, yes, 1:10:09.680 --> 1:10:12.720 and this is not in any way to discredit you know, 1:10:12.880 --> 1:10:15.799 argu lord, but to say, at the end of the day, 1:10:15.920 --> 1:10:19.080 there is a way to engage with these tools so 1:10:19.479 --> 1:10:24.000 that you can then make your voice heard. So maybe 1:10:24.040 --> 1:10:26.120 you can't change that system, but you can let that 1:10:26.160 --> 1:10:28.760 system know. I'm not fucking with that right if I 1:10:28.840 --> 1:10:32.120 don't appreciate it. You want my engagement, stop showing me 1:10:32.160 --> 1:10:35.120 this shit. Yeah, that's basically what the what the puppy 1:10:35.200 --> 1:10:37.320 is trying. You know what the algorithm wants to I'm 1:10:37.320 --> 1:10:39.880 gonna want your engagement. I'm gonna have no morals as 1:10:39.920 --> 1:10:43.679 no soul, it has no dislike. But it's only Facebook 1:10:43.920 --> 1:10:48.519 want with a dislike. Huh dislike. But but the dislike 1:10:48.720 --> 1:10:51.880 is keep scrolling, keep scrolling, and then when you find 1:10:51.960 --> 1:10:54.240 something that really feeds you you, when you find that 1:10:54.280 --> 1:10:59.719 thing you want more of stop Okay, a comment, leave alike, 1:11:00.240 --> 1:11:04.160 heart whatever. That's why you hear YouTubers constantly say like 1:11:05.000 --> 1:11:08.360 hair and comment, because that is how they keep their 1:11:08.400 --> 1:11:11.800 engagement up. If you see content that you like, don't 1:11:11.840 --> 1:11:14.200 just be like, oh that was real good. You want 1:11:14.200 --> 1:11:16.840 to like it? Share it, x Y and Z. You 1:11:16.880 --> 1:11:20.120 want to make sure those people feel and hear that 1:11:20.200 --> 1:11:22.280 in a way that's real, that comes up in data 1:11:22.320 --> 1:11:24.240 that they can then use to keep moving forward, and 1:11:24.479 --> 1:11:27.439 they do analysis on like the types of comments you 1:11:27.600 --> 1:11:30.720 leave too. So if you say I love this, this 1:11:30.800 --> 1:11:34.759 was really somebody to see today whatever, like, they say, Okay, 1:11:34.800 --> 1:11:37.479 that's that's that's good. We want that. And if they 1:11:37.520 --> 1:11:39.680 and if you argue with the motherfucking the comments or 1:11:39.760 --> 1:11:41.960 some shit you don't like, they will keep feeding you 1:11:41.960 --> 1:11:45.679 all this. They don't they really liked that, So we're 1:11:45.680 --> 1:11:48.400 gonna send them more of that because that will keep 1:11:48.439 --> 1:11:52.920 them engaged. You got you gotta train it like a dog. 1:11:53.080 --> 1:11:59.400 Engagement has no morals about everything, y'all, Like you're crazy, 1:12:00.520 --> 1:12:02.439 you know, don't let me get into my capitalism bag. 1:12:02.840 --> 1:12:04.719 We only got we only got a few more minutes. 1:12:05.000 --> 1:12:07.760 It starts and start talking about how the corporations and 1:12:07.840 --> 1:12:09.600 the plutocracy and all. I don't I don't want to 1:12:09.600 --> 1:12:14.800 get to autocracy. See I don't want you know what 1:12:14.800 --> 1:12:17.160 I'm saying like this. That's why that's why age was 1:12:17.200 --> 1:12:19.880 like when I get to that that black conservative socialist video, 1:12:20.400 --> 1:12:22.840 you know what I'm saying. We got to start that's 1:12:24.080 --> 1:12:26.080 you know. My goal is to this not to be 1:12:26.160 --> 1:12:28.080 the last time I talked to some famous people. But 1:12:28.160 --> 1:12:30.840 I'm scared because I don't know how far I'm gonna 1:12:30.880 --> 1:12:34.599 get before either a I start telling the rich niggas 1:12:34.600 --> 1:12:38.040 today face that they need to change, or I become 1:12:38.040 --> 1:12:39.759 a rich nigg and be like, oh no, that's cool. 1:12:42.280 --> 1:12:46.839 Second part. I'm second part as as a rich niggod. 1:12:46.880 --> 1:12:49.080 I'm gonna just tell you money does not make it 1:12:49.160 --> 1:12:53.040 the man. That's that's the goal I appreciate. Go go 1:12:53.120 --> 1:12:57.280 get your coins, friend, go get all your coins. We're trying. 1:12:57.320 --> 1:13:02.599 My wife with a job last year, so she congratulations. Yeah, yeah, 1:13:02.640 --> 1:13:04.960 it was an amazing She she needed it because she 1:13:05.000 --> 1:13:08.240 was out there in corporate America, you know, working working 1:13:08.280 --> 1:13:11.360 in that that whole I was I was saving the world, 1:13:11.360 --> 1:13:13.679 working with kids and shit, you know what I'm saying. 1:13:13.760 --> 1:13:15.840 And she up here talking to these old white men 1:13:15.960 --> 1:13:18.680 trying to get them to sell and box stuff. And 1:13:18.720 --> 1:13:21.320 I was like, yeah, baby, look we switched. I got it. 1:13:21.640 --> 1:13:31.680 Go ahead, take these naps. Get your skin good. Anytime 1:13:31.760 --> 1:13:34.760 you offer somebody a nap, that's just a nice time. 1:13:36.720 --> 1:13:38.439 Shout out to A. J's so funny. She went out 1:13:38.479 --> 1:13:40.679 with a friend and her friend was asking her about 1:13:40.720 --> 1:13:43.000 her skin routine and she was like, yo, I take 1:13:43.000 --> 1:13:46.000 a lot of naps because she stopped wearing makeup in 1:13:46.000 --> 1:13:48.559 the last like three or four months. And then like 1:13:48.560 --> 1:13:51.280 your skin is long. She's like, yeah, good jeans in 1:13:51.360 --> 1:13:54.400 the sleep every once and again. My husband coming, why 1:13:54.400 --> 1:14:00.799 I'm taking my nap and you know that, okay. Blessings, blessings, blessing. 1:14:02.720 --> 1:14:04.920 Thank you so much for coming and spending some time 1:14:04.920 --> 1:14:09.519 with us. We really really appreciated. Look here, y'all, it 1:14:09.520 --> 1:14:13.479 just seemed to me like this. If you're paying attention 1:14:13.560 --> 1:14:16.519 to your social media's and you find that a lot 1:14:16.560 --> 1:14:21.280 of toxicity and negativity is in it, Number one, take 1:14:21.320 --> 1:14:24.000 account to the good people that are around you. Take 1:14:24.000 --> 1:14:26.800 account of the love that you receive, take account to 1:14:27.000 --> 1:14:30.240 the people that are supportive of you, and know that 1:14:30.280 --> 1:14:34.800 this is not the real world. The majority of this 1:14:34.840 --> 1:14:39.320 shit is for show, okay, And you know, for likes. 1:14:39.840 --> 1:14:42.120 I don't know what happened when we become people that 1:14:42.640 --> 1:14:46.600 need likes so much, but it's always the people that 1:14:46.640 --> 1:14:49.960 are going their own direction that seem to get to 1:14:50.000 --> 1:14:53.400 the price. And remember anything that you're involved in too 1:14:53.479 --> 1:14:56.360 much can make you an addict. Thank you so much. 1:14:56.400 --> 1:14:59.599 We appreciate you at Jay dot Ill, thank you, mister 1:14:59.680 --> 1:15:06.360 seg the fire Laura. Don't she liked to do that 1:15:06.400 --> 1:15:10.920 to them? She liked to do it. Oh, Jill, you can't. 1:15:10.960 --> 1:15:13.320 You can't do that to me. The city backo stairs 1:15:13.360 --> 1:15:26.280 like everything normal. I can't. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. 1:15:29.640 --> 1:15:36.680 How do you eat an elephant? One? By it time? Hey, listeners, 1:15:36.880 --> 1:15:42.200 it's Amber the producer, here to dive deeper into all 1:15:42.400 --> 1:15:47.960 things media and internets. Please follow f D signifier on 1:15:48.000 --> 1:15:52.599 all social media platforms, YouTube and Patreon. I'll drop links 1:15:52.600 --> 1:15:54.960 to all of his accounts and the show notes. And 1:15:55.040 --> 1:15:57.960 I just want to reiterate you have the power to 1:15:58.000 --> 1:16:01.560 alter your algorithm by what you can assume the most, 1:16:02.320 --> 1:16:19.799 so be mindful. Hi. If you have comments on something 1:16:19.880 --> 1:16:23.960 you said in this episode, call eight six six. Hey Jill, 1:16:24.520 --> 1:16:27.200 if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight 1:16:27.320 --> 1:16:30.920 six six four three nine five four five five. Don't 1:16:30.920 --> 1:16:33.240 forget to tell us your name and the episode you're 1:16:33.280 --> 1:16:36.680 referring to. You might just hear your message on a 1:16:36.720 --> 1:16:40.919 future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents 1:16:41.240 --> 1:16:47.280 Jay dot Ill. The podcast Jay dot Ill is a 1:16:47.320 --> 1:16:52.960 production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 1:16:53.000 --> 1:16:57.840 iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 1:16:57.920 --> 1:16:58.799 favorite shows.