Speaker 1: I leave, then I you wanna way back home? Either
Speaker 1: way we want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give
Speaker 2: us time and a Turmanol and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome
Speaker 1: you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about ity.
Speaker 1: Scared her? Was it fine? Now? Porn?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need ride.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbays.
Speaker 1: This is Karen till Gareth.
Speaker 3: Karen is currently and I'm not kidding, crimping her eyelashes,
Speaker 3: curling them with one of those clockwork orange keep me
Speaker 3: up all night to watch horrible things so I can rehabilitate. Scissors.
Speaker 3: They have scissors as the handle. I have tried them
Speaker 3: before I had an older sister, and I've found that
Speaker 3: if they don't have the little rubber gasket on them.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they will pinch your lid to the point
Speaker 3: of bleeding.
Speaker 1: Oh you, oh know, yeah, you print yourself.
Speaker 3: I mean, who knows where I'd be today gender wise
Speaker 3: and pronoun wise had I not been scarainfully pinched in
Speaker 3: the eyelid. I'm like, you know what, this drag thing
Speaker 3: isn't for me? That hurt.
Speaker 1: Like hell, it is hard to be a woman.
Speaker 4: We all know that, but I mean some people don't realize.
Speaker 4: My cousin, Lisa Is, she used to separate. She'd put
Speaker 4: on mascara and then separate her eyelashes with.
Speaker 1: A needle so that it would, you know, because it
Speaker 1: was clumpy.
Speaker 4: This is this was back in the late late seventies
Speaker 4: where there was really no advancements in female mascara, but
Speaker 4: to get very clumpy, so she'd go back over it
Speaker 4: with a needle.
Speaker 3: People say, stick a needle in my eye because they
Speaker 3: know that will never happen because a needle is never
Speaker 3: near your eye.
Speaker 4: However, Lisa, Lisa, who didn't mind a drug that was scary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that person.
Speaker 3: Should not have stopped in the road.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: I think people buy Jettas and they think, hey, I'm
Speaker 4: going to go really go for it on sunset.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad bought me this Jetta. It's all going
Speaker 1: to be different now.
Speaker 3: Someone did a song called all my ex girlfriends drive
Speaker 3: black Jettas.
Speaker 5: Who I can't black jettas.
Speaker 1: I don't remember dead milk sounds milk.
Speaker 3: It sounds milk many because it's about a car and.
Speaker 1: It has a story. Yeah, there's a storyline.
Speaker 3: It may have been. You might be right, God Love
Speaker 3: let us know if you remember.
Speaker 4: Uh or if you're a dead milkman. I'd love to
Speaker 4: hear from you.
Speaker 3: And uh, I guess this is something we should do
Speaker 3: right at the start. Karen, I don't know if you
Speaker 3: know this, but we have a sponsor for this.
Speaker 1: Oh and this is real, this.
Speaker 3: Is a real thing. This isn't real.
Speaker 5: Haha.
Speaker 3: We're driving by Taco Bell. Taco Bell, we give you diarrhea?
Speaker 3: And do you need to write a I could have
Speaker 3: come up with a better one if Taco Bell was
Speaker 3: a real sponsor, and would I would have? Yeah? You
Speaker 3: know what I'll do for money about everything? Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: but it's hard to get the motivation to look for
Speaker 3: a sponsor or. Look, you know, turn this into a
Speaker 3: business if you haven't had a decent night's sleep. But
Speaker 3: the good people at Parachute Home have given me the
Speaker 3: best sheets I think I've ever ever worn, and I
Speaker 3: wear them on my mattress, but I you kind of
Speaker 3: are wearing them as you sleep. The parachute, and they're
Speaker 3: made in Venice, where I live. I've been wanting to
Speaker 3: look around to see if the building is nearby me. Oh,
Speaker 3: they're local, They are local, and you know they cause
Speaker 3: great sleep, Caaren, I don't know if you know. This
Speaker 3: starts with the sheets, and Parachute has created a line
Speaker 3: of everyday betting essentials, from sheets to doubt comforters, comforters
Speaker 3: and comforters to give you superior sleep.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: And here's the thing about the stuff they sent me,
Speaker 3: it was like in a nice arrangement. I opened the
Speaker 3: box and it was like it was as if a
Speaker 3: cook at a four star restaurant had arranged everything, and
Speaker 3: it was all tied with twine, and there was a
Speaker 3: little letter handwritten that said thank you personally. It was
Speaker 3: really nice. And you know the betting's made of one
Speaker 3: hundred percent long staple Egyptian cotton.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the good stuff.
Speaker 3: Hey, it's manufactured in a mill in Tuscany.
Speaker 5: Oh that sounds to Italy weaving.
Speaker 3: Betting for nearly eighty years. This mill, it's probably been
Speaker 3: around forever. And then ship straight to your door. And
Speaker 3: it did come right to my door. Parachute cuts out
Speaker 3: the licensing and the distribution fees so you can experience
Speaker 3: high quality betting for less it. And if you mentioned
Speaker 3: this is kind of cool. If you mention go to
Speaker 3: parachute home dot com slash ride, use the promo code ride,
Speaker 3: and Parachute will give you twenty five dollars off on
Speaker 3: your first order by mentioning, yeah, we're paying you to
Speaker 3: listen to us. Basically, that's kind of awesome.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get those sheets.
Speaker 3: Right while you sleep. The only other way to get
Speaker 3: paid while you sleep is to knock out your teeth
Speaker 3: and put them under your pillow, or to be a hoore,
Speaker 3: or to be some sort of a licensed hour sleeping wore.
Speaker 4: So you've received them, I'm going to get mine and
Speaker 4: we're gonna we're going to sleep on them, and then
Speaker 4: we're going to come back with the results.
Speaker 3: I've I've already. They are just they feel great, like
Speaker 3: a lot of times, oh that there's a man in
Speaker 3: the road, but he's limping a lot of times. You know.
Speaker 3: They people talk about thread count.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's very important.
Speaker 3: Apparently it isn't. It's a marketing gimmick.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 3: You can read about it at parachutes blog.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: And and they tell you about thread count, not necessarily
Speaker 3: being that because I've bought high thread count sheets and
Speaker 3: they were like silk underwear or something. I thought they're
Speaker 3: going to rip. They weren't high.
Speaker 1: Quality at the cotton that you're using.
Speaker 3: It is more about the cotton. And if you can
Speaker 3: get it out of Tuscany, come on, go to Parachute
Speaker 3: dot com.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Mentioned ride and uh, yeah.
Speaker 1: You've got a sponsor. I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'd like to think what I just did
Speaker 3: will entice them to, you know, continue to sponsor d
Speaker 3: I think it.
Speaker 1: Was pretty good. For the first time ever doing an act,
Speaker 1: it was pretty good.
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing. I wanted it to be the
Speaker 3: first commercial on our podcast. It seem conversational, right, I
Speaker 3: don't think any believe it or not. And you know,
Speaker 3: because you were sitting here, I was reading all that
Speaker 3: that was not memorized, and I know it seemed like
Speaker 3: it was just coming out of my mouth, but that
Speaker 3: was all information.
Speaker 1: Amazing. You did a pretty great job.
Speaker 3: But they are Yeah, they're very nice. They're very nice.
Speaker 4: I love a nice sheet. I mean it is you know,
Speaker 4: it's all about that.
Speaker 3: Prior to this because they look flashy. I bought some
Speaker 3: off brand at Ross. You know, don't get bedding just
Speaker 3: because it looks shiny. I got some silk or satin
Speaker 3: sheets because they were silver. And I get in bed,
Speaker 3: I slide right off the other end.
Speaker 1: They were silver.
Speaker 3: They're so slippery. I put my head. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: this will keep my hair. You know, I like to
Speaker 3: put my hair up in curlers. My head just slides
Speaker 3: off the pillow. I'm risking neck injury.
Speaker 1: Yes, don't do that.
Speaker 3: No, you won't get that with parachute.
Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, so beautiful, very excited. I am too.
Speaker 1: I think we're a real podcast now and it.
Speaker 3: Feels yeah, And I'm a real grown up because I usually,
Speaker 3: you know, sheets are one of the last things I
Speaker 3: think about, but it makes such a huge difference when
Speaker 3: you're sleeping, for that comfort to be there.
Speaker 4: Okay, I think you've given them everything.
Speaker 3: Well now I'm just talking on my own behalf about
Speaker 3: my sleep cycle.
Speaker 1: We'll stop it.
Speaker 3: Sleep cycle is also an app. You put it on
Speaker 3: your pad. They let you know when you're in rem state.
Speaker 1: And while we're at it, what's your sleep number?
Speaker 3: Well, you know how I like to jump on the
Speaker 3: bed while my lady friend drinks wine.
Speaker 1: I can't go in this way.
Speaker 3: Oh god, don't.
Speaker 1: That'll get me into some weird spot, won't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Fucker? Is it worse?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Nope, nope, you're doing fine. That was how you get
Speaker 3: to Dodgers skating guys.
Speaker 4: We're on the five South right now, and there's I mean,
Speaker 4: there's just a lot of choices because they're trying to
Speaker 4: get to Johnny Pemberton's house.
Speaker 3: We are going to pick Johnny Pemberton. I'm very excited
Speaker 3: to have him on the podcast. I've been wanting him
Speaker 3: on the podcast because he just is the hilarious. He's
Speaker 3: the best. He's a sweet guy and he have you
Speaker 3: seen him host with Josh Fatum that show?
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 3: It's the best. Really, yeah he I thought he was
Speaker 3: just doing it with his voice, but he had like
Speaker 3: a little modifier and he does this whoa for his
Speaker 3: old cowboy ex country star. Oh yeah, and it took
Speaker 3: I watched the whole show. I'm like, whoever that is?
Speaker 3: He's hilarious. I didn't know it was. Johnny had sunglasses on,
Speaker 3: so I know I know now that just hearing the
Speaker 3: tone of his voice isn't dependent on his comedy.
Speaker 4: Well, I personally loved Johnny Pemperton because i've before I
Speaker 4: met him in real life.
Speaker 1: I saw him in movies.
Speaker 4: And he usually plays a kid or like a high school.
Speaker 1: Student or something.
Speaker 3: He's a person that looks younger than his age.
Speaker 4: He looks very young like he You are probably gonna
Speaker 4: say people a lot like he's a fair banx.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's got I just don't.
Speaker 4: Want to get off this g D freeway g deem
Speaker 4: It priest is Christ. But uh, when you meet him
Speaker 4: in real life, he's incredibly intelligent and very mature.
Speaker 1: It's not like he's like some kid like person.
Speaker 3: He comes from.
Speaker 1: Now we're on another family. Yeah, his father's a famous doctor.
Speaker 3: His father held me I had some bowel issues. I
Speaker 3: don't want to go into detail, but it was scary
Speaker 3: what was happening, and UH talked to him on the phone,
Speaker 3: connected me with his dad. The dad he said, don't worry.
Speaker 3: See this guy I went to saw his friend. That
Speaker 3: guy was a doctor also luckily, thank god, and uh
Speaker 3: he looked, Uh looked in there and said, you're fine.
Speaker 3: You just got some fissures and FISTU lives you know
Speaker 3: stuff like that. That's what's causing the belief.
Speaker 1: I think you have to go on a detail about this.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I wasn't gonna and then once once
Speaker 3: I go there, yeah you're gone. Yeah once.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I have to get.
Speaker 5: Back to it.
Speaker 1: It's quite to get back to where we're supposed to go.
Speaker 3: Yes, he he said, Uh, take your time. So I
Speaker 3: think I've got a green light here. Sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I won't do that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no anymore.
Speaker 3: That seem kind of passive.
Speaker 4: Uh wait, I just have to look this map.
Speaker 3: Oh of course.
Speaker 4: But anyway, and he also has his own podcast called
Speaker 4: Twisting in the Wind.
Speaker 3: I want to say, oh, do you promise me we're
Speaker 3: gonna drive on the sidewalk? Here. We're on the sidewalk, now.
Speaker 1: Do you want to drive?
Speaker 3: Well, if we just go between those poles, I'll think
Speaker 3: you're pretty badass.
Speaker 4: Okay, but I have to jump back on the five
Speaker 4: and then I just need to fuck what my exit
Speaker 4: is and we'll be all set.
Speaker 3: We're taking Johnny tonight to a show at the UCB Sunset,
Speaker 3: the new UCB Theater. You're also on the program. I am,
Speaker 3: if I'm not mistaken. I was asked to be on it.
Speaker 3: Did you know that?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: And I did not reply because I'm a poor businessman. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but maybe I can get on. What if we're all
Speaker 3: on the show?
Speaker 1: I bet you could. I do that all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm the worst.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I actually got booked for the future a future date. WHOA,
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 1: I think that was an undercover cop that just passed up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, because I was going to do a fool
Speaker 4: on U turn right in front of his face right now.
Speaker 3: They don't like that, not when you're all blatant about it.
Speaker 3: At least, honestly, I think the police do appreciate it
Speaker 3: when you try and do things when they're not looking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, just don't get us involved.
Speaker 3: I've had enough cops stop and go. You had to
Speaker 3: do that right in front of me. I'm like, what
Speaker 3: are you talking about?
Speaker 5: Man? Can you hold this water pipe? Cool?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 5: Hey?
Speaker 3: Cop?
Speaker 1: Do you vape? I had a friend whose brothers got
Speaker 1: pulled over.
Speaker 4: It was five guys in a car and they were
Speaker 4: smoking a bong in the car.
Speaker 1: And this was like ten fifteen years ago.
Speaker 4: The Arabia brothers wonderful men, really love them, but they
Speaker 4: were doing that and a cop pulled them over.
Speaker 1: The guy says, give me that bong.
Speaker 4: He takes the bong back to his car, him and
Speaker 4: his partner rip some bong hits.
Speaker 1: No way, and then they come back to the car
Speaker 1: because they don't do that anymore.
Speaker 4: What city what's this h I think San Diego because
Speaker 4: that's where CJ's from. It was CJ Arabia's brothers. You're like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I love that story.
Speaker 3: And they've watched them do the bong rips.
Speaker 1: Yes, they all thought they were getting arrested. They were
Speaker 1: like freaking.
Speaker 3: Out, Oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: And instead the cops are like, will get high too,
Speaker 4: and then let's just all walk away.
Speaker 3: And then I wonder if cops get high and then
Speaker 3: they get paranoid and start to think that regular.
Speaker 4: People are cops or that they're gonna turn their partners
Speaker 4: are gonna turn on them and arrest them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that'd be kind of awesome because that's what
Speaker 3: happens to me. Yeah, everyone's a cop, everyone is a cop.
Speaker 3: Everyone's out to get me.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: I wonder what my bank account is doing that kind
Speaker 3: of thing. I got a loose nup. Maybe it's uh,
Speaker 3: I'm hitting the sativa I should be hitting an Indiica.
Speaker 4: Well, I think though I had to do the exact
Speaker 4: same thing. I stopped smoking because everything just became very
Speaker 4: doom and gloom. It was like, uh, even I mean,
Speaker 4: I have plenty to stress out about, but even when
Speaker 4: I wasn't, like, didn't have something to actively stress out about,
Speaker 4: it was just like, and nohing is that it's all bad?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like it just left me. That's the paranoia part.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it hits you all of a sudden, like
Speaker 3: I've had a summer where I'm like, I could get
Speaker 3: into this. This is healthier than being a drunk person. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it helps you be creative, but that's pretty stifling for
Speaker 3: me to just get scared about life and my breathing.
Speaker 5: Which is what happens exactly.
Speaker 3: Is this normal breathing? Is my neck closing in on
Speaker 3: my esophagees?
Speaker 1: Yep? Is this how I really die? I remember one
Speaker 1: time playing dominoes with Jeremy Kramer. Did you ever do
Speaker 1: comedy with Jeremy Kramer?
Speaker 3: I remember Jeremy Kramer.
Speaker 4: He's a He's a San Francisco legend. He's one of
Speaker 4: the funniest people that's ever lived.
Speaker 3: When I met you. When I first met you, and
Speaker 3: comedy was happening in a laundromat. Jeremy Kramer was there, Oh, yes,
Speaker 3: and I was. I was with Howard Kramer, and immediately
Speaker 3: I was like, man, this Los Angeles city is going
Speaker 3: to be confusing. There's multiple Kramer.
Speaker 1: There's so many Kramers.
Speaker 4: I was playing dominoes with him one time and took
Speaker 4: too many hits a pot and thought I was having
Speaker 4: a heart attack, and at one point just looked at
Speaker 4: him and said, I I.
Speaker 1: Think I think something's wrong.
Speaker 4: I think I'm having a heart attack, and he just
Speaker 4: looked at me and goes, do you want me to
Speaker 4: take you to the emergency room?
Speaker 3: So you're right, no, Oh that's terrific.
Speaker 1: It was the perfect like, I mean, that's all you.
Speaker 3: Need, that's yeah, That's the only thing that'll kick you
Speaker 3: out of paranoia is a condesce.
Speaker 5: Yes, Oh, do you want.
Speaker 3: Me to call the whambulence?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It's hard to know where we.
Speaker 1: Are at I know, well, you know what it is.
Speaker 4: It's like Johnny lives under five different freeways.
Speaker 1: So but we're very close. We are very close close. Indeed, Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3: Sorry I was feeling I was looking at the apparatus.
Speaker 1: Here, and how's your apparati.
Speaker 3: With low on battery? I thought I put in new
Speaker 3: batteries last time. Oh there's so much to remember just
Speaker 3: in life.
Speaker 1: No, I know, believe me, there's not enough time in
Speaker 1: the day.
Speaker 4: No, there really isn't, although I do manage to lay
Speaker 4: around and do nothing and spend.
Speaker 3: In defense of the idea, there was plenty of time
Speaker 3: today for me to buy batteries. In fact, I was
Speaker 3: at the store and I looked at the batteries and
Speaker 3: thought it would be a good idea to get those
Speaker 3: as back up.
Speaker 4: I do that all the time, and then I think
Speaker 4: that's the first thought. That's like, that's my responsible adult thought.
Speaker 1: And my next thought is, well, do it later. It'll
Speaker 1: be fun later, is like the reasoning.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, because go to the story.
Speaker 1: It'll be fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll be looking forward to it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, as opposed to know you're twenty minutes late for everything.
Speaker 4: You're just adding something onto your to do list.
Speaker 3: I'm that's me.
Speaker 5: That's me.
Speaker 3: I put things off. That's how I function.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. It feels good. Just so you know.
Speaker 1: I had breakfast with Greg barn this morning.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, that's great.
Speaker 1: He's great. He's done with chemotherapy.
Speaker 5: Good.
Speaker 4: If anyone out there knows Greg Barrent, who's our a
Speaker 4: very good friend and a co comedian and podcaster.
Speaker 3: And one of the many friends of ours with cancer
Speaker 3: currently it's getting very frustrating that disease. But what did
Speaker 3: he say?
Speaker 1: He wants to do our podcast?
Speaker 3: Oh terrific.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so excited. He wants to do it very soon.
Speaker 3: So I would love it. I would love it.
Speaker 1: He said, you guys drive me somewhere, and I said,
Speaker 1: sounds good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll take him anywhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But that was nice to see him and to
Speaker 1: see him. He looks like himself, he's he seems like
Speaker 1: he's back.
Speaker 5: Oh good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's gonna be doing sets around and stuff.
Speaker 3: That's terrific. That makes me happy.
Speaker 4: That's the only thing I did today was go I
Speaker 4: and I actually am doing things in my life now
Speaker 4: where it's like.
Speaker 1: I'm acting, Like going and meeting people for.
Speaker 4: Coffee is like something to check off a list or
Speaker 4: like I've accomplished something.
Speaker 3: Well, as long as you have a bit of a schedule,
Speaker 3: it feels like, hey, I'm still working right.
Speaker 1: Yeah kind of? I mean I don't know.
Speaker 3: I miss my free time. I'm working right now, and
Speaker 3: it's it takes some getting used to, you know, waking
Speaker 3: up not doing the things that.
Speaker 1: You usually do or whatever you want to do.
Speaker 3: It's all and all these rich people always say that's
Speaker 3: like it's a Donald Trumpy thing to say, just sleep less.
Speaker 3: There's this montage of like advice from Arnold Schwarzenegger that
Speaker 3: I was listening to for some reason, and one of
Speaker 3: them was like, you'll have plenty of I'm not gonna
Speaker 3: do it twice good, plenty of time to sleep when
Speaker 3: you die, That's what he said. I'm like, really, that's
Speaker 3: what if you think about it. I mean, I guess
Speaker 3: you have an edge on people if you only had
Speaker 3: five hours sleep, But then you have baggy eyes and
Speaker 3: you're not going to nail that meeting, right, I.
Speaker 4: Mean, who knows that? Like, you know, that guy can
Speaker 4: do whatever he wants. First of all, you know he's
Speaker 4: sleeping as much as he wants to.
Speaker 1: He's rich. Yeah, none of the rules apply to that guy.
Speaker 3: I think it's just talking early on and he's talking
Speaker 3: just about lifting weights.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because if you're filled with other people's testosterone and
Speaker 4: a human growth hormone.
Speaker 1: Then yeah, you can kind of do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Do you think he was injecting other people's growth hormones?
Speaker 1: I like to think that.
Speaker 3: I like to imagine it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want a hero, I need a hero.
Speaker 1: I'm looking out for a hero.
Speaker 3: I've been holding on for a hero.
Speaker 1: Clar Yah, the night Scratcher.
Speaker 4: All right, this is crazy, yeah, but I think I
Speaker 4: found it.
Speaker 3: Okay, this has been I mean a goose chase.
Speaker 1: It's been wild.
Speaker 4: It's also hard to look at my phone map and
Speaker 4: podcast and drive.
Speaker 3: Yes, I we our podcast comes with dangers that are
Speaker 3: specific to the what we've decided to do, which is
Speaker 3: driving a car. While it's very dangerous. I can't believe
Speaker 3: people get in with us, I know. And I'm gonna
Speaker 3: just remind Johnny we're heading to him.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, close close by, I think, yeah, I think so. Actually,
Speaker 4: it's very strange. This is that part of Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: It is now called frog Town, But when I moved
Speaker 4: here and lived here for twenty years, it.
Speaker 1: Was never called anything. And then I had a Frogtown.
Speaker 1: Is what this little neighborhood coming up is?
Speaker 3: Oh? Really, I thought it was a Legion park. Maybe
Speaker 3: it's also called frog Town.
Speaker 1: I don't know where a Lesion Park is, but this
Speaker 1: is Frogtown.
Speaker 4: And I know because I have a hairdresser here, one
Speaker 4: of my many ladies around town.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 1: And it's just kind of just this strip.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to know where we're at right now.
Speaker 3: This city is an intricate, serpenteine maze of confusing pathways. True,
Speaker 3: sometimes they're labeled south, sometimes north. Suddenly you're on historic
Speaker 3: Route sixty six. You're in the wild West. You're on
Speaker 3: a horse, you.
Speaker 4: Need water, you got bit by a scorpion, you got
Speaker 4: kicked the set because you because.
Speaker 3: You use the director's Damn you're not You're no longer
Speaker 3: an actual cowboy. You're simply in a western movie. But
Speaker 3: we are behind Dodder Stadium, and I think, yeah, Johnny's
Speaker 3: like downtown ish right.
Speaker 1: No, We're like, look, we're going down a bit further.
Speaker 1: And then he's right there.
Speaker 3: Oh he's right here. Okay, See that's where I was
Speaker 3: wrong before. I mean, look, who knows where the freeway was.
Speaker 1: Tacking, who knows where the time goes? Newell, I'm going
Speaker 1: left on it, Okay, Okay, great.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm very excited for him to be in here.
Speaker 3: How have you been What have you been doing, Karen?
Speaker 4: Aside from having breakfast with the great parent was that
Speaker 4: was one of the big ones just today.
Speaker 1: Just today, Uh, let's see going to the movies a
Speaker 1: lot our podcast front April.
Speaker 3: Richardson, I love April ap and I.
Speaker 1: We saw Straight out of Compton together.
Speaker 3: How's that great? Great? Okay, I've been only told it's great.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 4: It's there's controversy because you know, it came out that
Speaker 4: doctor Dre beat the ship out of his like first girlfriend,
Speaker 4: and there's a lot of stuff about that which is
Speaker 4: sucks and is very sad.
Speaker 3: But oh it's in the movie.
Speaker 4: No, no, know that was like the controversy after the
Speaker 4: movie came out, as they never talk about this, but
Speaker 4: it's like, in my opinion, you would have to.
Speaker 1: It's a whole different movie.
Speaker 3: Sorry that we can't have it. The movie be four hours.
Speaker 4: Long, yeah, I mean they you know, there was plenty
Speaker 4: to cover anyway. So but it was great. I mean
Speaker 4: that aside, here's what I will say I really liked.
Speaker 4: After that there basically an article article came out saying
Speaker 4: that you know this is they they they showed themselves
Speaker 4: as being these heroes.
Speaker 1: But then.
Speaker 4: There okay, uh and then they uh and but the
Speaker 4: truth is that doctor Dre beat this woman up. And
Speaker 4: days later after that article that I read, doctor Dre
Speaker 4: came out with a statement apologizing and saying, it's not
Speaker 4: an excuse, but I was young and didn't have I
Speaker 4: wasn't raised well, and I wasn't a man yet, and
Speaker 4: so i made a lot of mistakes and I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: For what I did.
Speaker 4: Like, it was this very comprehensive really for my to me,
Speaker 4: nobody apologizes like that anymore, just immediately comes out and
Speaker 4: says I was wrong and I'm sorry, and it's not
Speaker 4: an excuse, but I did it.
Speaker 3: But i've yeah, yeah, if only our past presidents could
Speaker 3: have the you know, could act more like gangster rappers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or like I just think that's a very manly
Speaker 4: thing to do. Sorry, miss sure, Uh, it's very manly
Speaker 4: to go. You're right, that was a really dark time
Speaker 4: in my life. And I he basically said, like, I
Speaker 4: try every day to be a better person than who
Speaker 4: I used to be, and hopefully I'm getting better.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was very responsible, seemingly to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but anyway.
Speaker 3: Especially since it was so long ago, and he was.
Speaker 3: I mean that is when it comes to excuses, not
Speaker 3: that there is any for domestic when you say I
Speaker 3: was seventeen.
Speaker 1: No, I mean it's no. You don't hit people, but
Speaker 1: kids do.
Speaker 3: Kids hit each other, kids do.
Speaker 4: And when you do ship like that, then you apologize.
Speaker 4: If people go this was wrong, you go, yep, it
Speaker 4: was wrong. I mean that he didn't have to do anything.
Speaker 4: That's what most people do.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's a little further. He's under a grapefruit tree.
Speaker 1: We don't know what that means, Johnny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, is this a great for tree? I don't know.
Speaker 1: It looks there's fruit there.
Speaker 3: He is outside corner. Hey, hey, hi, Johnny. We got
Speaker 3: a little turned around, got a little turned around.
Speaker 1: We were on several freeways.
Speaker 5: You did.
Speaker 1: Here's your mic Ellie is a great big freeway.
Speaker 3: Johnny Pemberton.
Speaker 1: Everybody.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's so hard.
Speaker 3: It's so hard while we're because we're talking, we're trying
Speaker 3: to podcast. Meanwhile we're getting uh, we just keep getting lost.
Speaker 5: How long have you been lost for? Oh?
Speaker 1: All our lives?
Speaker 3: Twelve minutes.
Speaker 5: Twelve minutes. That's not too bad.
Speaker 3: It wasn't How are you what's up?
Speaker 5: You know? I was just getting out of that grapefruit tree.
Speaker 3: When you said grapefruit tree, you you acted as if
Speaker 3: everyone knows what a grapefruit tree looks like.
Speaker 5: I was not.
Speaker 3: I did not grow up in an orchard.
Speaker 5: It is not.
Speaker 6: But usually when you see a tree that has a
Speaker 6: bunch of big yellow fruit.
Speaker 3: On it, right, that was the giveaway. Is the actual
Speaker 3: fruit in the tree? Okay, I should have I should
Speaker 3: have noticed what part of town now. I thought it
Speaker 3: was a Lesion park.
Speaker 5: Lesian Valley.
Speaker 3: Technically it is technically technically, but have you heard heard
Speaker 3: the phrase frog town? Yes, yeah, you're in frog town.
Speaker 5: Well it's not, but it is. That's what it's called.
Speaker 3: You smell, You smell like grapefruits.
Speaker 5: I'm not kidding away really, because I just kicked off
Speaker 5: my foot.
Speaker 3: Oh oh god, was decomposed rieks of healthy breakfast?
Speaker 1: Johnny, Do you want to tell me the way to
Speaker 1: get to the left?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 4: It's like uber, yeah, because they never know where they're going.
Speaker 5: And it's amazing.
Speaker 6: I sometimes I feel something the higher people like, Oh,
Speaker 6: it's you never never driven before, driven before. Well, here's
Speaker 6: a great chance to learn how to drive. Here's your
Speaker 6: chance to learn learn on the job.
Speaker 5: Why uh, why spend that time learning to drive when
Speaker 5: you can get paid to learn to drive? Yeah, so
Speaker 5: their ads should be get paid to learn to drive
Speaker 5: with Uber.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and everyone that you'll be picking out picking up,
Speaker 3: it's likely that they know how to drive, so they
Speaker 3: can give you tips as you korean into a wall,
Speaker 3: tips like oh my god, stop, or tips like please,
Speaker 3: where are you taking us?
Speaker 4: I had an Uber driver that had asked me to
Speaker 4: teach him how to use ways. Wow, that's pretty meta.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 6: We want to knowber who used ways so much that
Speaker 6: he was like not seeing the forest for the trees
Speaker 6: kind of thing, like like, oh, it says there's traffic
Speaker 6: in front of me when there's none, Like, but way
Speaker 6: says there's traffic right here.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there are no cars. It's take that right. Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's amazing how many of those guys driving professionals are
Speaker 3: not familiar with ways. They have that it saved my.
Speaker 5: Life, has saved your life?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's got I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: saved my life, but it's got me on time too
Speaker 3: many things.
Speaker 5: I'm tired of driving. I'm done with it.
Speaker 1: It's pretty irritating.
Speaker 5: It is. It is the thing. What a shooty thing
Speaker 5: that we do as people.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like what a non human thing to engage in
Speaker 6: so regularly driving.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it makes bad makes us bad people agreed.
Speaker 5: They're not designed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we aren't. We were. That would be amazing,
Speaker 3: how we could have terrible bodies just be so awkward
Speaker 3: in the bedroom, big hams, wrap around eyes, wrap around eyes.
Speaker 4: Also, it's very isolating, Like when I get my car,
Speaker 4: I just like I get all in my head and
Speaker 4: then I get like, well, like we're saying like running
Speaker 4: through problems.
Speaker 5: Right, it makes me defense in a way that I
Speaker 5: don't like feeling that way. Yeah.
Speaker 6: It's like I wouldn't talk to this person that way
Speaker 6: if I saw him in the street, but I'm being
Speaker 6: exact person as a stranger.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Really, it's like if we we saw each other,
Speaker 5: we probably make up and cry and like I'm so sorry.
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry too. Why did I do that?
Speaker 1: Why did I call you?
Speaker 5: Oh my god? We're just people, We're just trying. We're
Speaker 5: just in the simulation together.
Speaker 3: It's all simulation.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 6: It probably is right, And I think they're pretty much
Speaker 6: proven to probably a.
Speaker 3: Simulation that we're living in a Truman Show situation.
Speaker 5: Well, that's like that, not like.
Speaker 6: So much human orchestrated simulation, but probably some sort of
Speaker 6: advanced this as beings or our future US has created
Speaker 6: this asshole.
Speaker 3: Look at that guy, rist And that's something you probably
Speaker 3: wouldn't say that, that face.
Speaker 5: Smashing asshole if I had no and I got a
Speaker 5: car alarm. You know what, you stupid sea gus, Get
Speaker 5: that fucking car alarm off?
Speaker 3: Why do you have a car? I knew he was
Speaker 3: a West Coast seaguzzler.
Speaker 5: Kiss my freaking jack.
Speaker 4: I think, uh, the idea of it being a simulation
Speaker 4: makes me feel so much better about my tax problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because it's really not real.
Speaker 3: Right, It's not real.
Speaker 6: There's money, right, I mean that's I read some book
Speaker 6: that said that's what I should think about money.
Speaker 5: You just remember it's not real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're just all where globs of cells and atoms
Speaker 3: just being hurled through a universe that may or may
Speaker 3: not be here, right, Right? Am I right about that?
Speaker 1: I love it?
Speaker 5: Am I right?
Speaker 4: Ladies, Ladies back me up and men take a breather
Speaker 4: in this universe.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, man, you want to take a back seat
Speaker 5: this next. Ladies have the chorus. Just go around the
Speaker 5: ladies voices out there.
Speaker 4: Johnny, can we talk for one second about the character
Speaker 4: that you did at the Echoes Under Sunset Show? Sure,
Speaker 4: I saw you where Johnny was the lead singer.
Speaker 5: He's really a dentist. Oh that's what he does for
Speaker 5: a living.
Speaker 1: He's a dentist, but a divorce and he also was.
Speaker 4: He was promoting the Fanny's Blues.
Speaker 5: Losing on Barbecue Fest. Daniel Van losing Barbecue Fest.
Speaker 3: And it's just a real fest or just why they
Speaker 3: I mean, you know monopoly is actually there, probably is.
Speaker 1: Probably it seemed very real.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I grew up with those kind of
Speaker 6: ship festivals. That's all we had.
Speaker 5: It was just but he.
Speaker 4: Had a lot of barbecue sauce on his face because
Speaker 4: he had just enjoyed some ribs and.
Speaker 1: He's just telling everybody about the blues fest and then
Speaker 1: you sing a riffed blue.
Speaker 5: Song, Yeah, sing a blue song. He just was one
Speaker 5: of those kind of kind of those dads.
Speaker 6: You know, it's conservative Midwestern dads, a lot of money
Speaker 6: to buy, like expensive guitars that don't get played.
Speaker 5: That's just how I grew I grew up with everyone
Speaker 5: that's the people I grew up with.
Speaker 6: Yeah, people who are coming on in the blues fest.
Speaker 6: It's gonna be, might have a couple of beers, might
Speaker 6: get a little crazy down there.
Speaker 5: Coco Taylor.
Speaker 6: They flew her in, probably pay her paiter forty grand
Speaker 6: and she we're happy to have her though.
Speaker 5: She's great. Coco songs that she's out there, But real
Speaker 5: was it?
Speaker 1: Robert Cray was the other Robert.
Speaker 3: I was trying to think of his name. That's who
Speaker 3: my mom always saw at the top, Hacks. I can't
Speaker 3: believe you pulled Robert Cray out. That's who my mom
Speaker 3: always she loved Robert Cray.
Speaker 5: Robert Cray is the best worst. He is the worst.
Speaker 5: He is like everything the blues wanted to not be,
Speaker 5: but so good at.
Speaker 1: It till he's been around for a while.
Speaker 3: He is he a blues guitarist.
Speaker 5: He's a blues guitarist. Does he is? He's really good?
Speaker 3: Does he make faces? I'd like how blues guitarists make faces,
Speaker 3: the face as you would make while masturbating guitar. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you gotta feel it. You gotta wins well, you gotta
Speaker 3: WinCE while smiling when that note hits where it needs
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 6: There's a Steve I video called Tender Surrender from like
Speaker 6: some time in the nineties.
Speaker 5: He is dripping and sweat.
Speaker 6: His guitar has like a it's a very much a
Speaker 6: custom personal but but he it's like six minutes of
Speaker 6: it's the most it should be flagged for inappropriate.
Speaker 5: It's on YouTube, you can watch it. But it's so sensual.
Speaker 5: He is masturbating a guitar masturbating.
Speaker 6: He's not He's playing the guitar as though he was
Speaker 6: playing his penis and like this long drawn out personal
Speaker 6: celebratory masturbation rituals like mistroking it ever so gently and
Speaker 6: speeding it up and.
Speaker 5: Then just like does this little tap, like oh my god,
Speaker 5: it's so great. My uh.
Speaker 3: Henry was palced with Johnny Lang that who's like a
Speaker 3: young blues yeah yeah ship. And we went we were
Speaker 3: on the road somewhere it's like ten years ago, and
Speaker 3: we went to a concert and he was making those faces.
Speaker 3: But he's young and he and he had but he
Speaker 3: had an old guitar, so to me it was very pedophilix.
Speaker 3: He was like making love to this old guitars. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and then someone had played like and then he go
Speaker 3: with his mouth go like singing along to it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they sing along to guitars.
Speaker 5: I think that's the thing that happens.
Speaker 6: If you've been playing an instrument for about about four
Speaker 6: or five years, you realize there's this intonation that happens.
Speaker 6: What you know, you can probably do this, Karen, right,
Speaker 6: You can sing when you play pretty much perfectly, but
Speaker 6: you get that you look at the intonation, and when
Speaker 6: you first learn that intonation becomes addictive to the point
Speaker 6: of like annoying. It's really annoying, like, oh, I can
Speaker 6: without thinking, I can sing the same note I'm playing
Speaker 6: because I just know the intonation on the instrument. And
Speaker 6: it's like, now I'm annoying as fuck for the next
Speaker 6: year until I get over the ability.
Speaker 4: It's actually the Blues are kind of super nerdy, and
Speaker 4: I think everyone's scared to say that, Oh yeah, because
Speaker 4: that kind of stuff, like what you just described of
Speaker 4: someone like basically scatting with a guitar embarrasses me so bad.
Speaker 1: You think about.
Speaker 3: Watching unless it's on stage and it's part of a show,
Speaker 3: I can watch it. But if you're at a party
Speaker 3: and it could be the most talented person in the
Speaker 3: world if they start playing guitar and singing along to
Speaker 3: the guitar, which I've seen in Austin. That's every other
Speaker 3: party in Austin. Someone's playing Hackey Sack and their friend
Speaker 3: is singing along to the guitar. I get really uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: And maybe it's something about me, Maybe it's something.
Speaker 5: It's like improv.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get really uncomfortable when I watch improv.
Speaker 5: Like bad improv.
Speaker 6: Bad improv is That's how That's how Christ was actually crucified.
Speaker 5: It was forced to participate.
Speaker 6: In an improv show that was going south immediately and
Speaker 6: he just that's how they Christ died for our sins.
Speaker 6: Our sins are learning improv.
Speaker 1: Are several suggestions.
Speaker 4: But also I think it's the vulnerability of that people
Speaker 4: being so happy to be that vulnerable, whereas comedians, that's
Speaker 4: the last thing we want to do like that kind
Speaker 4: of like, hey.
Speaker 1: Let's just see if I do good everybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish that's how I still felt when I
Speaker 3: did stand up. But I do not want that. I
Speaker 3: want that veryvariable to be. I don't want yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I want that to be the One thing I know
Speaker 3: is that I have control over the situation to not
Speaker 3: be variable.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll let go. I've been letting go a lot that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah on stage, Yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Just don't care.
Speaker 3: You're always you've been in and uh, we both share
Speaker 3: this quality. I'm gonna call it a quality. We're very
Speaker 3: loosey goosey on stage. Yeah, loose is a goose you are,
Speaker 3: I've seen you.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm like a gander up there.
Speaker 3: You are, like you're just like looking for a pond
Speaker 3: or maybe not, may just lead your children across a
Speaker 3: busy road.
Speaker 5: Maybe I'll do a touch and go. You thought I
Speaker 5: was landing on that pond. Nope, Oh he's out just
Speaker 5: testing the water with my goose feet.
Speaker 1: Maybe you'll find a big chunk of bread and.
Speaker 5: Hang out for a while. Yeah, he's eating that really
Speaker 5: disgusting way when.
Speaker 6: You choke, you back and grab it and you throw
Speaker 6: your head forward to get down the gullet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks there. It looks so painful. When geese
Speaker 3: eat just sideways bread.
Speaker 1: You can tell they have an eating disorder.
Speaker 3: So many geese binge and perche and yeah.
Speaker 6: Those gizzard stones, A couple of gizzard stones along the way.
Speaker 3: Those are some some sort of a stomach within a bird.
Speaker 3: That helps him eat rocks and birds.
Speaker 5: They eat a rock, a couple of rocks. Yeah, those
Speaker 5: are their gizzard that helps pulverize.
Speaker 3: The one of the My dad the only time he
Speaker 3: ever went to the hospital. I think maybe he didn't,
Speaker 3: but he thought he was dying, and he's ignored actual
Speaker 3: signs of health problems. He ate a bunch of almonds
Speaker 3: and uh like a whole bag of him like it was.
Speaker 3: It was a time where he's single. I think he
Speaker 3: just I could make I could make a dinner. I
Speaker 3: could eat this bag of nuts. And they bound up
Speaker 3: inside him to the point where he's in so much pain.
Speaker 3: And then the doctor said that they were caught in
Speaker 3: some sort of a provincial I don't know, some of
Speaker 3: what used to be a gizzard and a human. And
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's what the appendix is or
Speaker 3: there is. They said, it's not stuck in your stomach,
Speaker 3: it's in your and I wish I knew what it was.
Speaker 3: A gizzard like that there was, it was some sort
Speaker 3: of a gizzard and nuts get caught in there.
Speaker 1: And is it a spleen?
Speaker 3: Maybe it's the spleen.
Speaker 1: You lose your spleen, right.
Speaker 3: Think you're right. I think the food doesn't go through,
Speaker 3: but it filters things. And I think that sometimes there's
Speaker 3: nuts in your blood special occasion, I would say no,
Speaker 3: but what if you're on a roller coaster and you're
Speaker 3: really being jostled.
Speaker 5: About, maybe like on the gravitron or something.
Speaker 3: That was the part of the story. I left it
Speaker 3: out as my dad was at the state fair all day.
Speaker 1: He was just on.
Speaker 4: My dad used to always have a bag of almonds
Speaker 4: in his hand and he offered them, shake them at you,
Speaker 4: to offer them to you, and then go Nature's candy.
Speaker 5: Wow and that dad.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, porks dipped in Merks cheddar cheese product. Oh,
Speaker 6: this was back when he was This is pre pre Atkins,
Speaker 6: but this was an Atkins diet.
Speaker 5: Oh they no carb diet.
Speaker 3: Wait, your dad invented the Atkins diet.
Speaker 6: It sounds like really fat he was. I think it
Speaker 6: was called the T factor diet. But this he lost
Speaker 6: a bunch of weight. And part of that was that
Speaker 6: way was eating.
Speaker 5: Hot dogs no buns and one of pork rinds dipped
Speaker 5: in cheese. Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you go protein. Yeah, you can ever found like.
Speaker 3: That Because your dad's a Mayo clinic. Isn't he a
Speaker 3: Mayo clinic like a surgeon, right, he's a surgeon. I
Speaker 3: talked to him on the phone once. Yeah, I recommend
Speaker 3: I was having some bleeding issues and I mentioned these
Speaker 3: already at the top of the shell. But as Dad
Speaker 3: was very he was calming, he gave me some information.
Speaker 3: He led me to one of his friends who works
Speaker 3: here in Los Angeles. I went, and that guy stuck
Speaker 3: his whole arm in my button numerous times, sometimes just
Speaker 3: in front of his golf buddies. But he no, come on,
Speaker 3: they were doctors. A lot of people were in the room, though,
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had that experience one time where I went
Speaker 6: in and I had a procto, you know, just checking
Speaker 6: and just checking out the zone down there.
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, you gotta check the zone.
Speaker 5: There was this woman who was must I think she
Speaker 5: was an intern. She was you know, probably like in
Speaker 5: her like late twenties, like your age, yeah, yeah, my age,
Speaker 5: but just stunningly beautiful with my doctor. And I was like, oh, great,
Speaker 5: here we go. Let's just like I met her literally
Speaker 5: twenty seconds prior to that, and now I'm just taking
Speaker 5: my pants off and having doctor uh, doctor Phil. His
Speaker 5: name's I didn't. I can say his last name, but
Speaker 5: his name is Phil. But he just went ahead and
Speaker 5: did that real.
Speaker 3: Fast, and just was that's so funny. The last time
Speaker 3: I went in to get a camera in my youureth
Speaker 3: row opening which it is your pepe hall very painful.
Speaker 3: I bid on the bill of my hat and some
Speaker 3: local anesthetic. But just the guy took he was with
Speaker 3: another patient for like twenty minutes. I knew it had
Speaker 3: worn off. I'm like my people, it feels normal, normal again,
Speaker 3: Please don't go in there. But he went and then
Speaker 3: cut out a tumor or something. I was fine, I
Speaker 3: was benign. I feel great today. But there was a
Speaker 3: young girl in there, and man, she just she could
Speaker 3: have been at a party or something, and she was
Speaker 3: just looking at My legs were in the air, it
Speaker 3: was my it was everything. My my penis was there
Speaker 3: and my part of my butt. And then she's looking
Speaker 3: right at it, my taint. What do you call the taint?
Speaker 5: You called the t right, it is called the peraneum.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she just had a bird's eye or my peraneum,
Speaker 3: and oh.
Speaker 5: God, it was get a photo for that, definitely idiot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he wouldn't say that if we were in the
Speaker 3: car right now. Actually, that guy was an idiot.
Speaker 6: He had shave side squirrel like a guru religion that
Speaker 6: does not exist.
Speaker 1: He also looked like skinny fat jew.
Speaker 5: You.
Speaker 4: We decided we weren't going to say that name because
Speaker 4: it is kind of you really.
Speaker 6: Feel like that whole thing is kind of an excuse
Speaker 6: for certain people to say the.
Speaker 5: Word fat jew.
Speaker 1: Real.
Speaker 3: Do you guys remember because he is famous for having
Speaker 3: Twitter followers, wasn't it somewhere in like three million or something?
Speaker 5: That guy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fat two guy.
Speaker 6: Hey, he's Instagram guy. His Twitter thing is not that Okay,
Speaker 6: Twitter game is weak.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, because that it's hard to just I
Speaker 3: guess actually it would be easy to cut and pace words.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know what I see is down to
Speaker 3: two hundred thousand. I'm like, well, that's no longer that
Speaker 3: thing was.
Speaker 5: That's all those things where the story isn't the story
Speaker 5: is the thing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's not a story.
Speaker 5: The story is that it's a story. Ryeah, nothing exists.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole story is, here's this guy. His name
Speaker 3: is hard to say because it's offensive and he stole
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 4: It's a black hole is the only the additional is
Speaker 4: just he started making serious money off of the steeler.
Speaker 1: That's when people care.
Speaker 3: That's when people step up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which makes sense.
Speaker 4: I mean like because you can catch people and get
Speaker 4: people here and there, but people will just be like,
Speaker 4: hey man, but this is like.
Speaker 1: Literally building a career.
Speaker 6: It's hilarious that stuff always you always get The piper
Speaker 6: always comes to take his payments to roost.
Speaker 5: You know. That's saying, yeah, it comes for his payment eventually.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the piper knocks long enough timeline.
Speaker 5: We all exist for no time or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I know that it's a long staying and
Speaker 3: we never hear it in its entirety. But the piper
Speaker 3: comes to pay the rooster. And we're only here for
Speaker 3: a little while.
Speaker 5: We're only here for a little while. Yeah, it sounds
Speaker 5: like George Carlin.
Speaker 3: I wish I wish I could sound like we're only
Speaker 3: here for a little while.
Speaker 5: Oh, and it's nice to be here. But the thing,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna wrap it up and yes, and I love you.
Speaker 5: Here we are by what are you gonna do it?
Speaker 3: Tonight's comedy concept? No, man, are you gonna it? Sounds
Speaker 3: like you're gonna be loosey Goosey.
Speaker 6: I actually, you know, I'm trying to lock some stuff
Speaker 6: down because I'm doing this show on Tuesday that I'm
Speaker 6: gonna record for an album.
Speaker 5: Oh that's great. Are you doing that at the Nerd Melt?
Speaker 3: Oh everyone, I didn't I knew you were doing it?
Speaker 3: Presents Nerd Melt Comedy Johnny Pemberton out. I think that's
Speaker 3: what it's called exactly.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to milk it for all it's worth. I
Speaker 5: did Morning in the audio.
Speaker 3: That's great. Yeah, good ideas. So you're gonna have a
Speaker 3: comedy album.
Speaker 6: Maybe I think I'm gonna have some comedy album. I'm
Speaker 6: planning on a only taking a little part of.
Speaker 5: It because I don't want to put the kind of
Speaker 5: pressure on myself. God forbid, I should put pressure on myself.
Speaker 3: You stand up, No one, no one's gonna yeah, no
Speaker 3: one's gonna know this.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: If it's a compilation of shows that becomes your whole album,
Speaker 3: that's what everyone doesn't realize it. You could. You could
Speaker 3: record ten times, compile it together and it'll just be
Speaker 3: a novelty. It doesn't need to be all at once.
Speaker 5: What do you think?
Speaker 1: What do you think you're gonna name? That album Johnny ideas.
Speaker 6: I mean, I've probably thought in the past couple of
Speaker 6: years the names for over a thousand different albums let's
Speaker 6: want to think about. I kind of thought about the
Speaker 6: words hybrid vigor, but that has nothing to do with
Speaker 6: anything in.
Speaker 5: My stand up. Just a phrase that I like.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like that has to do with plants that are
Speaker 6: hybridized and they have to grow much better because of
Speaker 6: something called hybrid vigor.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I just think it's a funny phenomenon. All the
Speaker 5: other ones I thought of were just really bad, and
Speaker 5: I don't make any sense. I don't know what I want.
Speaker 5: I don't honestly don't know what should I call it.
Speaker 3: You never know, the Great fruit Tree. I was told
Speaker 3: by the label to just name my album Fairbanks, Right.
Speaker 3: They just said, your name is good enough of a name.
Speaker 3: But I the title I was going to go with
Speaker 3: was something I just said during the show, which was
Speaker 3: I got mad at them for clapping at a joke
Speaker 3: I don't like, and I said, look at me being
Speaker 3: disappointed with your enjoyment. I thought disappointed with your enjoyment
Speaker 3: would have been a good title, and I was going
Speaker 3: to go with it. So it came after you came
Speaker 3: with our time. Yeah, I see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good idea. You can you can look
Speaker 1: out for something that you say during Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: good idea.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And after we're it's when you're listening, be like, yep,
Speaker 3: that was a fun moment. I'm naming it that.
Speaker 5: How about ship dogs in a dynamite field?
Speaker 3: Well, maybe just say that during the show, if there's
Speaker 3: a place for you to say that. I wouldn't just
Speaker 3: blurt it as nine sequitor because you've then planned to
Speaker 3: call it that. That's working backwards.
Speaker 6: I thought about calling it the whatever, the spectrum of sound,
Speaker 6: the sound, the frequency of the human voice, the.
Speaker 5: Sound range of that.
Speaker 3: Just called that whatever that's called.
Speaker 5: I think it's like fifty her as low as you
Speaker 5: can go, and then like whatever, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, why don't you call it the frequency of
Speaker 3: the human sound sound?
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, you.
Speaker 5: Call it person, I'll call it death in a crosswalk.
Speaker 5: How about this?
Speaker 6: I left my child in a hot cart. I left
Speaker 6: my child in my car in the summer in Texas.
Speaker 5: People be running to grab that, and he's here with
Speaker 5: me tonight.
Speaker 4: I hold it with me every day and still I've
Speaker 4: come here to tell you, Joe.
Speaker 3: You're just you're holding a melted candle.
Speaker 5: Ye. Oh no, actually I do think of a time.
Speaker 3: Not funny, it happens in real life. I apologize to
Speaker 3: you and the fat That's.
Speaker 5: Why it's funny, because it's so terrible.
Speaker 3: It's like city buses, the hooligans of the streets. Oh
Speaker 3: did you need us to stop.
Speaker 1: You late for your soccer game?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, mister bus driver. The guy that works for
Speaker 3: the city bullies of the city.
Speaker 6: That's what's disrespectful. Trends man, Yeah, I know I respects.
Speaker 1: About that much of it.
Speaker 5: They're up there with our neighborhood. Oh yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 5: tell you something that you don't hear that often. It's
Speaker 5: changed changed.
Speaker 6: That's why I'm so tired of people saying, I know, man,
Speaker 6: this neighborhoods changed.
Speaker 5: Oh really, what was I supposed to do?
Speaker 3: Is the word hipster? Is the word hipster about to
Speaker 3: come up? Because I'm going to plug my ears.
Speaker 5: Neighborhood used to be uh different, different way than it
Speaker 5: is now. Actually, to that place that's there, it wasn't
Speaker 5: there before. H I fucking hate this place. That thing
Speaker 5: with things change over time. God, damn it. I hate
Speaker 5: they know about me? Didn't they know about me? That
Speaker 5: I used to live here and would like to reference
Speaker 5: this place to people who don't care. Why the situations
Speaker 5: always have to evolve? Why does time have to progress? Why?
Speaker 5: God damn it. I was trying to do something here.
Speaker 5: I had a thing going, and time started, you know,
Speaker 5: the march of time carried on, and now there's.
Speaker 3: A fucking CVS. Oh great, this neighborhood used.
Speaker 5: To be hire. Now there's a CVS.
Speaker 3: It used to be a good neighborhood back when I
Speaker 3: was thirty. Now you know what's wrong with this neighborhood?
Speaker 3: Now I'm forty.
Speaker 5: I'm forty.
Speaker 4: My cousin's wife, my cousin, and my sister all live
Speaker 4: in my hometown, and we all still call all the
Speaker 4: buildings what they were when we were growing up. So
Speaker 4: there's like a restaurant that we called Tuttles, which used
Speaker 4: to be the drug store. The restaurant is now in
Speaker 4: like we we reference things as.
Speaker 1: If the town is still in nineteen eighty one, right,
Speaker 1: And it drives her insane because she knows it as
Speaker 1: what it is now. So we'll be like over the
Speaker 1: one over at tuttles and like where it's truly thirty years.
Speaker 4: It's like a thirty year spam, which can Yeah, we
Speaker 4: just that's yeah, it's just childhood.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I there's been a place in Missoula, Montana
Speaker 3: called the Iron Horse that's been there most of my life,
Speaker 3: probably thirty years.
Speaker 5: But I still call.
Speaker 3: It a Hamburger Ace because there was a Hamburger Ace there.
Speaker 3: That's where everyone went to fight. And uh yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: oh you go to Hamburger Ace to fight after school? Yeah,
Speaker 3: just other schools you zoom, Yeah, your school against their school,
Speaker 3: like like whole groups of kids fighting. Yeah, oh, entire
Speaker 3: large groups fighting wearing batting gloves.
Speaker 5: Aja.
Speaker 3: At Hamburger Race, five cars show up, another five cars
Speaker 3: show up, and then everyone starts punching each other.
Speaker 5: Shit, I've.
Speaker 3: Ever so underrated, Johnny.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I believe it probably is.
Speaker 3: I all I know is getting punched in the face
Speaker 3: isn't as bad as you think. That's the only wisdom.
Speaker 4: Well, they usually don't land right, Like if people are
Speaker 4: trying to hit you, they're all freaked out them.
Speaker 3: I've led punches hit me right in the center of
Speaker 3: the nose, and I was still able to keep talking.
Speaker 5: But I wasn't.
Speaker 3: These were kids, you know, a grown up now what
Speaker 3: people do with the m m A and uh and
Speaker 3: just being larger than people are in Montana, No one's
Speaker 3: over five nine. I don't know what it is. I
Speaker 3: moved to Texas and I'm like, oh, everyone would kill
Speaker 3: me if I got punched. Hears Chris, are you coming.
Speaker 5: In out here, big old boy?
Speaker 1: You don't want to meet me at the Hamburger Race
Speaker 1: giving back.
Speaker 5: That cocaine I sold you?
Speaker 3: Oh God, you're bringing you are bringing back a specific memory.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I bought some ratty powder down there on Sixth Street,
Speaker 3: and I was right near the velvet room and all
Speaker 3: the goddamn dad, I grabbed too much and I didn't
Speaker 3: pay the man.
Speaker 5: You Rob Anderson, rob right, m hm. Do you guys
Speaker 5: like you live there at the same time?
Speaker 3: No, okay, but I worked with.
Speaker 1: Robby Anderson on Whitney Come In Sock Show. I love.
Speaker 1: I just ate breakfast with him the other day.
Speaker 3: And I didn't even live there, and I always think
Speaker 3: I did. I did not live there at the same
Speaker 3: time as Howard Kramer Chip Pope either. They had left.
Speaker 3: They used to visit all the time, but they were
Speaker 3: already l A Superstars Stories, Yep, that was It's you
Speaker 3: can watch it on YouTube.
Speaker 6: Chip Pope, I saw ever in Los Angeles, Laura House,
Speaker 6: Laura House.
Speaker 3: Too, Yep, me too. I was just sharing with Sharon McCarron.
Speaker 3: That's what we were going to call this podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank god we didn't.
Speaker 5: I have a story for my friend.
Speaker 3: Her name is Garen.
Speaker 5: Thank god we didn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's call that call that your album. I wish
Speaker 3: I hadn't.
Speaker 1: Thank god we did it. That is good.
Speaker 5: I didn't think about a candle with hair, which is
Speaker 5: a splinterism for handle with care.
Speaker 3: Well, that brings us back to the melted baby in
Speaker 3: the car.
Speaker 5: Right you first said that. I didn't say speak up, but.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh wow, you're you're gonna be like you and
Speaker 3: my brain? How did you.
Speaker 5: Know that collective consciousness? Wait?
Speaker 1: Why did you bring up Rob Anderson? Sorry because he
Speaker 1: used to live.
Speaker 6: In Austin and I know he used to get down
Speaker 6: with some some crazy ship as you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's easy too, It's easy to get caught
Speaker 3: up there.
Speaker 5: I think they've they've got a nice underbelly there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just easy access to it. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 3: a dark underbelly. It's like a well lit, easy to
Speaker 3: access underbelly.
Speaker 1: It's kind of an option.
Speaker 3: And the whole city there is geared around having fun
Speaker 3: and find people drink. They have beers in their offices.
Speaker 3: You work, and and one's uh waking up like that
Speaker 3: and that's funny. No one expects that we are done
Speaker 3: partying at one thirty, go to bed.
Speaker 5: Austin's crazy. It's just fucking crazy. It's like crazy cities.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I imagine anywhere in Florida.
Speaker 1: Winnipeg's insane.
Speaker 5: Really was it? All right? Well we drink all that.
Speaker 5: One's let's go sit down for a.
Speaker 1: Let's call him down now.
Speaker 5: Well, let's see what your mom's up to.
Speaker 3: Of course, caller over.
Speaker 5: Okay, well it's been an hour, let's check in on mom.
Speaker 6: I guess I'll tuck in one more of these Bullson's
Speaker 6: and then I'll be off the bed. What if you
Speaker 6: stay up when the sun's not up, You're liable to
Speaker 6: something bad to happen.
Speaker 4: There were a lot of very soft spoken men that
Speaker 4: were actively listening to me in Winnipeg, which was very
Speaker 4: I was like, this is great.
Speaker 1: Like a waiter who would be like, I can't really
Speaker 1: explain it.
Speaker 4: It's just like people who are just like wanted to
Speaker 4: know what you had to say.
Speaker 3: Doesn't that feel great?
Speaker 1: It's pretty great certain.
Speaker 5: Cities, Oh yeah, I would you like to talk.
Speaker 1: About it gets cold though.
Speaker 5: Yes, it does get cold. You manage, yeah, we're.
Speaker 3: All I really want to go to Winnipeg now, it's
Speaker 3: pretty great.
Speaker 1: I really liked it. But it is the second coldest
Speaker 1: city in the world. Someone told me, I believe that.
Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, yeah, you would think it would have
Speaker 3: to be way up north, maybe.
Speaker 6: A city of the certain size it is, because like
Speaker 6: there's certain places that are just so cool.
Speaker 5: They're not cities because.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's the reasons there, and they're just an area.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we can't do a city here, guys. It's still
Speaker 5: try to do a city.
Speaker 1: But there aren't enough mittens in the world.
Speaker 5: Guys.
Speaker 1: Let's call it.
Speaker 3: Let's keep this a township.
Speaker 1: Let's just keep on moving down the path.
Speaker 6: We're calling it right calling officially the time is sixty
Speaker 6: hundred hours.
Speaker 5: This is not a city, Okay.
Speaker 1: I tried to settle this. We're gonna keep on moving.
Speaker 5: We're gonna head west.
Speaker 1: Towards the heat lamp.
Speaker 5: I gotta get to Miami.
Speaker 3: Do they still call the sun a heat lamp in Canada?
Speaker 1: That's like an inside joke comedy to them.
Speaker 5: I'm hungry all the time, are you?
Speaker 3: Are you hungry right now?
Speaker 5: Of course, of course you are.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite snack, Johnny?
Speaker 5: Oh god, chips? Yeah, I love chips.
Speaker 3: What about just chips and SALTSA like a regular? Yeah,
Speaker 3: me too, you bet.
Speaker 5: I need to have a flavored chips. Cheetos are really good.
Speaker 4: I love Cheetos, but like hockey or crunchy Crunchy always.
Speaker 5: Like the small ones. They have the most dust.
Speaker 3: Con I want to get dust. I want to be
Speaker 3: elbows deep and dust.
Speaker 5: I think I may be hungover. I'm hungover.
Speaker 6: I like, It's just I have this insatiable thirst and hunger.
Speaker 6: It's like being a junkie or something, but for nothing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, where's the fun? Where's the fun in this?
Speaker 6: I've been drinking a whole lot lately, but I did
Speaker 6: drink a couple of beers last night.
Speaker 5: Oh some uh No, I had a couple of these
Speaker 5: beers coming called. I have one of the best brides
Speaker 5: I've had in many years from the Strand, which is
Speaker 5: a brewery I think in someplace in the east of
Speaker 5: La Came Torrance is in Torrents. It's just stout. It
Speaker 5: was really good.
Speaker 6: I drank a couple of We're out to dinner my
Speaker 6: girlfriend's brother his birthday, drank some of his beers, and
Speaker 6: I ended.
Speaker 5: Up going to sleep at about ten thirty last night.
Speaker 3: Beers. That's what I got on a big beer guy.
Speaker 3: It knocks me out, what happened.
Speaker 5: I also drank a bottle of wine.
Speaker 3: Oh mine, drink a nice bottle, a white of Sauvignon blanc.
Speaker 5: God that good, save black God.
Speaker 3: Just just you describing it. I can almost uh taste them. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the refreshing, the refreshing came to mind, grassy green apple,
Speaker 3: just like anol with an unknown shooter. That's how I
Speaker 3: like my wine.
Speaker 1: Wait, now, is mixing wine and beer fine?
Speaker 5: I think everything's fine. That's not no.
Speaker 3: There are all these things like liquor then beer, never
Speaker 3: sicker beer before liquor. You're in the clear. Whatever it's
Speaker 3: there's all you have to do is be a drunk beer.
Speaker 3: You to do is practice with all these things. Oh,
Speaker 3: I see, the thing that will get you hungover is
Speaker 3: the damn sugar.
Speaker 6: The sugar and the three wise man shot you did
Speaker 6: two at the closing of the bar that you what's
Speaker 6: that'll never do it again? I think it's a shot
Speaker 6: of Jack Jose Quervo and some other man's name was
Speaker 6: a liquor Damn McNeil, McNeil brand single, I should be single,
Speaker 6: more available, Captain Margans.
Speaker 5: Probably it's probably Captain.
Speaker 3: Jack and.
Speaker 5: Them and it's just guaranteed to make you vomit.
Speaker 3: Captain Jack. I'll get you high to night, right, that's
Speaker 3: what that song is about. It's one two thirds of
Speaker 3: that drink crap and snapscrapers.
Speaker 4: I do love whiskey though that was my drink. I
Speaker 4: mean the it's the effects are a plus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they really work. Whiskey words.
Speaker 5: Guy, you're wet. Guy, I'm wearing a stone rolling stones.
Speaker 5: Oh the guy got confused. I'm talking about music. Sorry?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, sorry, I'm drunk right now?
Speaker 5: Are talking about liquor? Ah, they're talking about music? Sorry?
Speaker 5: Where I mean where i'd have a Mazda?
Speaker 3: Here's the place?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, we're definitely here. We've been here. Are you
Speaker 5: guys worried about?
Speaker 3: Well? I mean here's the time right now, it's eight twelve. Yeah,
Speaker 3: are you guys nervous.
Speaker 1: About sound check is at A thirty starts at nine?
Speaker 5: Oh I thought it started at eight.
Speaker 3: No, guy, see, we know I made him. I made
Speaker 3: you drink of it because I.
Speaker 5: Said I relax. I'm about to relax right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we can take it easy, kick.
Speaker 6: I've got to a show on time the other night,
Speaker 6: only for it to start almost an hour and something.
Speaker 3: I don't like it when that happened, that's such a bummer.
Speaker 5: I think I'm officially done with that. It's the last
Speaker 5: time I'm going to do that on time. No.
Speaker 6: Now, if I'm on time and I starting like, okay,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna leave now, yeah, because because.
Speaker 3: Fuck you, yep, I do that too. If I'm on time,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I gotta go, and I just I'll just
Speaker 3: go somewhere and walk around. I don't like being on time.
Speaker 4: I really hate being on time, and I know it's
Speaker 4: because it's my diva ish personality where.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be the one waiting. I want
Speaker 1: someone else to wait for me.
Speaker 3: Well, sometimes if you're the one on time, you go
Speaker 3: up first. If it's one of these shows where everyone's
Speaker 3: an equal, I like going up a third.
Speaker 5: I love going up first. Oh first, really, I think
Speaker 5: it's on the best spots you can do.
Speaker 3: Boy, I just disagree with you. Really, I'll second.
Speaker 5: I love second. Second's good, but first is great because
Speaker 5: it's like you can do whatever you want not the crowds.
Speaker 3: Now, they're not warm, there's no way around that. Well, yeah,
Speaker 3: you're sacrificing the first half of your set to warm
Speaker 3: them up.
Speaker 5: Now my set is warm up.
Speaker 3: How do you know how do you warm them up?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 5: Parastenics? Physical?
Speaker 3: Oh you do actual exercise?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I get in them. I get down here, get
Speaker 6: going under the chair. Yep, you know, like force someone
Speaker 6: to move really nicely.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just really get in there really good I suppose.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you got them to get up and walk
Speaker 3: around and actually warm up their bodies, that would help.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then it's on them.
Speaker 3: It's totally on them. Oh, you know why you're not enjoying.
Speaker 3: You're lazy.
Speaker 6: You know what's better than you know, it's always worse
Speaker 6: than first?
Speaker 3: What last?
Speaker 5: Last?
Speaker 1: Last is the worst?
Speaker 6: I think last in Los Angeles when it's clearly not
Speaker 6: you're not the quote unquote headliner, right, that lot of
Speaker 6: people don't like all right, your headliner tonight.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean the guy who's going up last.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've seen everyone's left.
Speaker 4: Everyone's drunk, everyone screamed at the top of their lungs
Speaker 4: for an hour.
Speaker 3: I think last, it's the first first, it's the second last.
Speaker 4: It happens to us a lot because we're music act,
Speaker 4: which I don't blame anybody for.
Speaker 1: It's like breakdown, so we go last.
Speaker 4: But it's like we just go out there and there's
Speaker 4: just it's like getting to a party late and going
Speaker 4: over the buffet.
Speaker 1: It's just like, oh, there's some old salami.
Speaker 4: Maybe you'll find some cookies from Trader Joe's that weren't open.
Speaker 1: This metaphor is very extended.
Speaker 4: But the Pickens, Yeah, it's it's pickens, and it's people
Speaker 4: that are like, there's nothing worse than comedy fatigue, where
Speaker 4: they're kind of like they wish they could laugh and
Speaker 4: they just can't do it because they've even milked.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you're going last tonight?
Speaker 5: Either you? I get last. I don't think I'm gonna
Speaker 5: go last. I've now lately, I just basically I've been
Speaker 5: speaking my mind. Yeah, here's what I want.
Speaker 3: It works great.
Speaker 1: Do you say it like that?
Speaker 3: People love it when you com I want.
Speaker 6: If you can make that happen for me, I would
Speaker 6: love it perfect you can't.
Speaker 5: I will complain.
Speaker 3: It's you're doing the right thing. Everyone wants to hear
Speaker 3: what you want.
Speaker 5: You always. I always just.
Speaker 3: Think people know what I want. They're not going of
Speaker 3: it to me. I have an argument, nothing has happened.
Speaker 3: I argue with them about it, we make up, and
Speaker 3: then I take my spot and none of that has
Speaker 3: actually happened. It's all in my brain.
Speaker 5: That's a weird thing.
Speaker 6: That people do that I do too, is have the
Speaker 6: have the pre argument. You've already decided the situation will
Speaker 6: be worthy of a fucking argument, and you argue the
Speaker 6: situation thing happens and nothing happens whatsoever. Yeah, slightly antagonistic
Speaker 6: is like the most calm thing ever.
Speaker 4: I do it so often, and I do it in
Speaker 4: a way where it it makes me act weird in
Speaker 4: a way that really can't be explained or faked out,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. Like when you're expecting a
Speaker 4: certain exchange, you've prepared for a very specifics.
Speaker 6: It's bad magic, that's right. Yeah, it's like this magic.
Speaker 6: It's a negative magic. It's negative the magic of negativity.
Speaker 1: You're shutting down the impossibilities.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're you're creating an outcome you don't want by
Speaker 6: imagining it happening. Yeah, as opposed to the opposite, we're like, oh,
Speaker 6: it's gonna be great when when Sharon takes me up
Speaker 6: and she's super happy because we love each other and
Speaker 6: there's this new dog that's going to be there.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I do that.
Speaker 3: I do that with and we've talked about this. I
Speaker 3: do that with with bad things. I just if you
Speaker 3: think the worst, what are the chances it's also gonna happen?
Speaker 5: You're manifesting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what a lot of people think. I think
Speaker 3: I'm canceling it out.
Speaker 5: Well, I think I think it's different for me.
Speaker 6: I think like when I think about how I'm going
Speaker 6: to die, like I imagine the scenario of death, it's
Speaker 6: gonna approaching eminently sure, And I feel like that is
Speaker 6: canceling out that because I kind of think that if
Speaker 6: there's any sort of malicious aspect of the universe, it
Speaker 6: definitely wants to surprise you, Right, it's not able to
Speaker 6: surprise you. It's like, well, I guess I'll try someone
Speaker 6: else because this guy.
Speaker 5: He knew what was coming, he got ahead of it.
Speaker 3: You already put together the combination of trampoline and jet pack.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he called my he figured out my, my very
Speaker 6: intricate way of.
Speaker 5: Killing him in this moment.
Speaker 3: The universe has an intricate plan for all of our demises.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So if you think about it all the time,
Speaker 5: the way you which you'll die. Yeah, anytime I get
Speaker 5: into a fifteen pass van, I'm like, this is it
Speaker 5: how you die? That guy and this shitty fucking he's
Speaker 5: a crap rat trap of a.
Speaker 1: Van and you see it rolling, just rolling.
Speaker 3: That's why it made me so sad during the Tracy
Speaker 3: Morgan thing. The that was It's like, that's such a
Speaker 3: real horrible way to go. Yeah, that was a limo. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well it was fifteen.
Speaker 5: You weren't thinking about that.
Speaker 1: They were having some good times past.
Speaker 5: You think about it, you're like, oh, I'm dying on
Speaker 5: the way to set.
Speaker 3: Like you felt like a super shuttle or a white
Speaker 3: one of those white vans.
Speaker 6: I always thinking about it on set, like you feel
Speaker 6: like because that's what they show you around on you know, like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: there's those those driven by some union guy who like
Speaker 6: makes nasty comments about some pia's legs.
Speaker 5: So you.
Speaker 3: Just and you think the van's gonna tip over just
Speaker 3: at the studio, just.
Speaker 6: So the guy will like look left when she's been
Speaker 6: looking right, and some cement truck will just destroy us
Speaker 6: all like.
Speaker 3: Just just two union guys careening into each other.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: Well, and also that would be like, that's the perfect
Speaker 4: when you're, uh, you've got a job, you're.
Speaker 1: Like on set, it's supposed to be ideal. That's what's
Speaker 1: when it's gonna happen.
Speaker 5: Exactly.
Speaker 1: It's the perfect anticipation.
Speaker 3: There's no way of knowing when it's gonna happen. It's
Speaker 3: not healthy to eat that woman right there is one
Speaker 3: hundred and twelve.
Speaker 5: Look at her. That's an ancient Yeah.
Speaker 3: She thought she was gonna die in a Corvette racking
Speaker 3: in her thirties.
Speaker 5: Should we yell at her like move on? Yeah, you
Speaker 5: ruined this neighborhood home, asshole. So tired of you people coming.
Speaker 1: To this neighbor Get out of here.
Speaker 5: Used to be cool. This old bag dropping on a
Speaker 5: Sunday night, it's old. Oh so sick.
Speaker 1: Oh, I guess I should pull in here right?
Speaker 3: This is where my car is too okay. Oh, oh
Speaker 3: that's okay. Did you did you listen to last episode?
Speaker 3: My mouth honk was a pretty good It sounded like
Speaker 3: a semi truck. Let's do it then again. Oh it's
Speaker 3: our sign off Johnny.
Speaker 1: You guys, thank you for doing that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks a lot. Sorry we are kind of late,
Speaker 3: but at least I know where you live now, and
Speaker 3: I know what a grapefruit looks like. And uh, you
Speaker 3: guys go in and have yourself an amazing comedy concert.
Speaker 1: Well, listen to podcast twisting and.
Speaker 6: Twisting anything else you want to twisting the wind on
Speaker 6: the Pail Audio Network.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna listen to anything else you got com you know, I.
Speaker 5: Just dates and stuff. Going to be in Australia November
Speaker 5: with trust.
Speaker 3: That's gonna be Oh that sounds great. Hi, Well we
Speaker 3: literally have. We're being pulled from the car you've been
Speaker 3: listening to. Do you need a ride? U? I M
Speaker 3: A R? I did it?
Speaker 5: Are you leaving? I?
Speaker 1: You wanna way back home? Either way?
Speaker 5: We want to be.
Speaker 2: There, doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us
Speaker 2: time and they turning on and gage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off in start. We want
Speaker 1: to welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine, Malborn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and cress
Speaker 5: H