Speaker 1: Ruby.
Speaker 2: When you're younger, you feel like you're intensive.
Speaker 3: Eighteen.
Speaker 1: You know you're not the only Gemini in the room,
Speaker 1: and you're not the only one who makes.
Speaker 3: Lift from just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and
Speaker 3: Steamye Palm Springs, California. It's Mick Robert Bill just say,
Speaker 3: and this is still lighting with the old days.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, kids. It has been said that with age
Speaker 1: comes wisdom.
Speaker 2: And joint pain. Don't forget the joint pain.
Speaker 3: I think Eliah said it best. Age ain't nothing but
Speaker 3: a number.
Speaker 1: We're here to talk health, aging and taking care of ourselves.
Speaker 2: And how we're still turning heads wherever we go.
Speaker 4: Okay, boys, let's dive right in. What does the concept
Speaker 4: of health mean to you these days? How has it
Speaker 4: changed over the years.
Speaker 2: Well, for me, I think about health a whole lot
Speaker 2: more than I did when I was in my twenties.
Speaker 2: I didn't even pay attention to my doctor's advice often. Well,
Speaker 2: when I was in my twenties, the only doctors that
Speaker 2: I remember going to were my dentist and my eye doctor.
Speaker 2: But today I have annual visits with my retina specialist,
Speaker 2: my vascular specialist, a dermatologist, my psychiatry, and I have
Speaker 2: two physicals a year, and since I was fifty years old,
Speaker 2: I've had five cholonostopes, and I also do yoga.
Speaker 3: Well babies, Boy, that's a mouthful for real. All we
Speaker 3: do is spend our lives at doctors.
Speaker 2: Now it's almost as taking medications.
Speaker 3: Our doctors point it is.
Speaker 4: Well when we're trying to get together, it's turning out
Speaker 4: to be a real hassle because the doctor's appointments just
Speaker 4: pop up.
Speaker 3: Everywhere, and they do come first, yes.
Speaker 4: They do, because it's hard to get an appointment with
Speaker 4: a lot of doctors.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, I looked up the word health and this is
Speaker 1: based on Who's definition. Health is a state of complete physical, medical,
Speaker 1: and social well being beyond the absence of disease and infirmity.
Speaker 1: You know, one of the things I wish I measured
Speaker 1: for self sufficiency is whether I can clean my bathroom
Speaker 1: and wash the dishes, shower and dress myself and make dinner.
Speaker 1: So what I have been taught is establish a baseline
Speaker 1: by which we can measure what is improvement from what
Speaker 1: is a stable state, and that that transition into thriving.
Speaker 1: You know, you pursue that success. You have a purpose
Speaker 1: in life. Bob often talks about having a passion for
Speaker 1: his work and also general feelings of wellbeing. Bill likes
Speaker 1: to talk about his yoga in between his colonosopes.
Speaker 2: So, and I think we've all managed to incorporate our
Speaker 2: different healthcare routines into our lives in a white that
Speaker 2: enabled us to all pursue our own individual interests.
Speaker 4: I take particular attention now to when I go get
Speaker 4: a physical I read all of the things that they
Speaker 4: have and now I take my chart very seriously.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's pretty clear from all of our
Speaker 2: conversations that we're much more conscious about our health than
Speaker 2: we were when we were younger and infallible. But I
Speaker 2: know that for me, I have tried to incorporate activity
Speaker 2: very purposely into my life, and most recently, something I
Speaker 2: think that is terribly important is massage. I get a
Speaker 2: massage every week now, and I talk to the massage
Speaker 2: therapist about what he is doing in terms of breaking
Speaker 2: up the granules that accumulate in your body in different
Speaker 2: places due to the stresses that you face, and how
Speaker 2: he moves it through my body, and I could just
Speaker 2: feel the bad stuff oozing out of my body.
Speaker 1: I guess I have the same experienced training, Yeah, which
Speaker 1: is why it's so addictive for me. Also the little endorphins.
Speaker 1: It's a great rush in a high, and I enjoy
Speaker 1: that at times when life is really hard and it's
Speaker 1: a struggle, you know that you can put yourself in
Speaker 1: a position of discipline and strength and to actually accomplish
Speaker 1: something in like an hour. That has been my rock.
Speaker 1: This is from the perspective of somebody who has been
Speaker 1: lifting weight since he was fifteen years old, and I'm
Speaker 1: sixty nine now, and so it's a way for me
Speaker 1: to get through many, many, many trying days even now.
Speaker 2: And another thing that I have become very conscious of
Speaker 2: in my older years is how important sleep is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because if I don't have a good night's sleep,
Speaker 4: I'm not going to have a good next day, that's
Speaker 4: for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And looking back on my younger days, when a lot
Speaker 2: of the time I get filed three or four hours
Speaker 2: of sleep because I was out partying the night before
Speaker 2: and I had to get to work early the next day,
Speaker 2: and I don't see.
Speaker 4: How I did it, or no sleep at all.
Speaker 1: Our younger listeners are laughing and thinking, oh fun, this
Speaker 1: is what I have to look forward to sleep, you know.
Speaker 3: And that's great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like I knew guys when I first came out.
Speaker 1: He used to go to New York and party for
Speaker 1: forty eight hours straight. Dang, and then come home to
Speaker 1: Minneapolis and crash for the rest of the week for real. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for the rest of the week, for the rest of
Speaker 1: the week.
Speaker 3: See. I always wanted to do that when I was younger,
Speaker 3: but I would fall asleep. I'm not an all night
Speaker 3: person except on vacations and cruises. And I'm a walker.
Speaker 3: I actually walk, even in this weather, twice a day.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah. I get out at ten o'clock at night
Speaker 3: and then at six in the morning or six thirty.
Speaker 3: But then I go back to pied.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're already into daily maintenance.
Speaker 2: So well, okay, go ahead, Meg with your daily maintenance.
Speaker 1: What's the daily habit that you swear by now you
Speaker 1: never cared about when you were younger.
Speaker 2: For me, one of the things that I find very
Speaker 2: calming that will bring chaos to a controlled state is
Speaker 2: making lists. Makes fun of me and accuses me of
Speaker 2: being a Gemini about my list, But I truly keep
Speaker 2: on my computer a spreadsheet of my master to do lists,
Speaker 2: which is grouped by major categories and the interrupt activities
Speaker 2: I need to do relative to each one listed, and
Speaker 2: I love striking them out.
Speaker 1: You know, you're not the only Gemini in the room,
Speaker 1: and you're not the only one who makes lists. I
Speaker 1: make lists too, but they're not as complex as yours.
Speaker 4: My father one of the best lessons he taught me
Speaker 4: was at the beginning of the day, right down the
Speaker 4: six most important things you have to do, and as
Speaker 4: you cross them off, you add them the things that
Speaker 4: you hadn't done to the next day, so that nothing
Speaker 4: ever gets overlooked.
Speaker 3: And I do that. Okay, that's wonderful.
Speaker 1: That's what we call piling it on. Before you know,
Speaker 1: you've got a list like that's ten pages long, and
Speaker 1: you go say yourself, oh my gosh, what where should
Speaker 1: I start?
Speaker 2: I know? And some of my to do activities are
Speaker 2: like paint the.
Speaker 1: Such a specific task, I.
Speaker 2: Know, and it goes on for more than.
Speaker 3: Just that hour was six days ago in the heat.
Speaker 1: We could move on.
Speaker 2: Yes, Robert, what's the most ridiculous health or beauty product
Speaker 2: I've ever tried? And this would have to be going
Speaker 2: back to the nineteen eighties when I was in my
Speaker 2: early forties and my hair began to thin, and so
Speaker 2: I wanted to stop that, and so I tried all
Speaker 2: kinds of hair restoration products.
Speaker 3: Don't work.
Speaker 2: Does it didn't work back then, I don't know are
Speaker 2: they working today.
Speaker 1: I used an oxidal and yeah, it's thicking my hair.
Speaker 2: I went through a trial with monoxidil back in the eighties,
Speaker 2: and I used to go to the doctor. I guess
Speaker 2: it was about once every two weeks. I would go
Speaker 2: and he'd take a little eye dropper and he'd drop
Speaker 2: the stuff on my head and rub it in, and
Speaker 2: then he'd peer with a little eyeglass looking for.
Speaker 1: Any hair following the hair growth.
Speaker 2: They had yet discovered the right formula.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so, because I'm starting to show and
Speaker 1: it's thickening.
Speaker 3: It losing my hair. It was humbling. And the day
Speaker 3: I took everything off in it, it was freedom. Oh yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, the most ridiculous product that I had ever used
Speaker 4: was in the late sixties. They came out with this
Speaker 4: self tanning gels and the first one of them that
Speaker 4: I tried, and it was one of the best, was
Speaker 4: called Bragi b r a gg I, And the only
Speaker 4: problem was yes, you looked great with yourself tan, but
Speaker 4: you look at your hands and they're completely orange. You
Speaker 4: can tell when anyone used was using this tanning product.
Speaker 3: And one person still uses it. I guessed nowadays, who's
Speaker 3: that orange?
Speaker 4: Oh no, he uses Cheetos.
Speaker 2: In a powdered form.
Speaker 4: Well, he mashes him. He has someone mash him up.
Speaker 3: That's okay, moving right it off. What are some of
Speaker 3: the greatest revelations you've had around getting older, especially as
Speaker 3: a gay man. I haven't been phased. I'm just me
Speaker 3: who happens to be a gay man. That's a small
Speaker 3: part of who I am.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking for myself, I find the older I get,
Speaker 2: the greater are my ED problems, which is unfortunate but true,
Speaker 2: And so you have to find other ways of substituting
Speaker 2: for that. And I think probably this also relates back
Speaker 2: to ridiculous medical treatments that we've tried over the years.
Speaker 2: And I know I have tried many different online supplement combinations,
Speaker 2: matters supposed secure ED.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people who aren't just gay, but
Speaker 1: especially as a gay man, as the older you get,
Speaker 1: the more invisible you become, you know, as opposed to
Speaker 1: other cultures such as in Japan, where as you got older,
Speaker 1: you became more venerated. I mean in Japan they have
Speaker 1: eighty year old porn stars. Okay, so this is a
Speaker 1: culture that is completely different, and their concept of beauty
Speaker 1: and you know, religion and the soul, all of those
Speaker 1: kinds of concepts play into a very different kind of
Speaker 1: society and very different values.
Speaker 2: Do you think ours are changing?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes I do, because there is a niche I
Speaker 1: have found, or I should say they have found me,
Speaker 1: you know, of younger men.
Speaker 4: I totally concurred that was going to be my thing.
Speaker 4: It's total revelation to me now that we're not just
Speaker 4: old men were attracted by young and middle aged men,
Speaker 4: which is really a big surprise to me. Although I
Speaker 4: really enjoy it.
Speaker 1: It's very flattering, you know, because I guess because I
Speaker 1: remember myself in my twenties, you would take a twenty
Speaker 1: oh forty, Oh that's death.
Speaker 3: That's I thought. I thought eighteen was dead.
Speaker 4: No, I've thought forty was. When I was young. I
Speaker 4: didn't think i'd live beyond forty.
Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, I mean, because I counted the years
Speaker 1: of forty, it'll be two thousand and six when I'm
Speaker 1: in I thought, you know, it's nineteen sixty eight or
Speaker 1: something like that, and you're thinking, I can't imagine what
Speaker 1: that world is going to be like.
Speaker 3: And it's so different than I mean nice, I see
Speaker 3: it differently than I look at it compared to mom
Speaker 3: and dad days and how they seemed old. And I
Speaker 3: guess it's the weather that keeps us. It helps you know,
Speaker 3: we're truly blessed to have sunshine, and a lot of
Speaker 3: places don't have it, thus causing you to go inside
Speaker 3: and sit in your house and people forget you. That's
Speaker 3: what I'm scared of. I don't want to be forgotten.
Speaker 3: I never want to be forgotten, and I don't want
Speaker 3: to forget people. That is so important to make us
Speaker 3: who we are and how we live, and.
Speaker 2: That's a part of health. It is who we surround
Speaker 2: ourselves with in terms of social structure and the interactions
Speaker 2: we have. If we have positive interactions with the people
Speaker 2: that are around us, I think we're going to be
Speaker 2: healthier for it. But if we are constantly doing bad
Speaker 2: with people, it got to have a detrimental effect on
Speaker 2: who you are in your health. Okay, I believe that
Speaker 2: very strongly.
Speaker 1: Cool okay, in that same vein what is something you
Speaker 1: see completely differently than you used to A perspective shift
Speaker 1: that can only come with age.
Speaker 4: For me, I mean, when I was younger, in middle age,
Speaker 4: sex was everything, and now it doesn't seem to be
Speaker 4: quite as important and urged that it used to be.
Speaker 4: Not that I enjoy it less, but it just doesn't
Speaker 4: have that drive that I used to have for it.
Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest changes that I've gone
Speaker 2: through from my young self to who I am now
Speaker 2: is when you're younger, you feel like you're invinsive, and
Speaker 2: over the years you find out that they had hang true,
Speaker 2: that there are a lot of things that can get
Speaker 2: you down and you just have to be on guard
Speaker 2: for them and educate yourself so you know how to
Speaker 2: deal with them.
Speaker 1: I think for me, what is different is my definition
Speaker 1: of what is love. I used to think of love
Speaker 1: only in a physical sense, and I began to question
Speaker 1: what it means to love and you know, who's going
Speaker 1: to be deserving of your love and who you deserve,
Speaker 1: and those things kind of change. And I guess you
Speaker 1: know that's from living and learning, you know, and that's
Speaker 1: why you have to be mentally strong inside. I think
Speaker 1: that's one of the things all of us share in common,
Speaker 1: is that there's really this strong pillar that kind of
Speaker 1: anchors us. You know, there are so many people in
Speaker 1: life who go very fractured lives and due to circumstances
Speaker 1: beyond their control, or you know that you just don't know,
Speaker 1: or because your parents didn't raise you very well, and
Speaker 1: that's a lot of what it comes down to. You know,
Speaker 1: haven't talked about it, but that's the kind of stuff
Speaker 1: you do when you're on the couch. You know, you
Speaker 1: talk about your family, You talk about your parents and
Speaker 1: how much you have been programmed in that early time
Speaker 1: in your life, and that you know it may have
Speaker 1: set you up for making a lot of mistakes.
Speaker 2: You know, one thing that I've missed that I hear
Speaker 2: other people talk about as being part of their lives
Speaker 2: is I've never had the experience of talking to someone
Speaker 2: who is psycho analyzing me consciously as a doctor patient relationship.
Speaker 2: So but you know, I hear you know, some of
Speaker 2: you guys talk about your experiences.
Speaker 3: It used to be an embarrassing thing to do that,
Speaker 3: to go to the doctors and like place, everybody's doing.
Speaker 1: It yeah, you didn't talk about it right.
Speaker 3: How was your measure of life quality and happiness changed
Speaker 3: over time? It's gotten better for me, and it's all
Speaker 3: because of the Old Gays. It really is. Well.
Speaker 4: I have to say the same thing because I moved
Speaker 4: to Palm Springs in two thousand and three and I
Speaker 4: moved into senior housing, and I was sort of just
Speaker 4: there for like ten years. But then the Old Gays
Speaker 4: happened and my entire life turned around. I was happy
Speaker 4: as can be, and I enjoyed what I was doing.
Speaker 4: I never thought that I would come back that well.
Speaker 4: Thank you old Thank you God, thank you young day.
Speaker 3: I think I'm gonna cross kiss.
Speaker 4: We'll be right back after a quick break.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to silver Lines with the old Gays.
Speaker 4: What's something that feels completely different in your body now
Speaker 4: compared to when you were younger?
Speaker 3: My butt, because it is last.
Speaker 4: Lord, mine is my anxiety. And I have a very
Speaker 4: difficult time controlling my anxiety. And I've taken quite a
Speaker 4: few different medications. I've tried some on an as needed basis,
Speaker 4: some of them where you take it in the morning,
Speaker 4: you take it in the evening, and somehow it just
Speaker 4: doesn't work. For me, and when it does work for me,
Speaker 4: if it's really a good one, I just fall asleep
Speaker 4: and that's the only way that I can control it.
Speaker 4: But my anxiety is something that has really really increased
Speaker 4: as I'm aging. But that's why I think it's very,
Speaker 4: very important that everyone realized that you are in control
Speaker 4: of your life and your health and your doctors. Yes,
Speaker 4: I mean that is a very very important thing to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think about you know, how the four of
Speaker 1: us I've learned to deal not only with our own
Speaker 1: particular diagnoses, but also how you negotiate the medical system
Speaker 1: in the mark.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: You're going to encounter nurses and doctors in which you
Speaker 1: like our sympatico with and then there are some that
Speaker 1: it's like two ships passing in the night, you know,
Speaker 1: and you really have to just go with the flow.
Speaker 2: And sometimes you disagree with the doctor exactly exactly, and
Speaker 2: when you disagree, you go around and you try to
Speaker 2: find an alternative way to do it.
Speaker 3: You have to be in control, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: And then there's the other thing about well I'll just
Speaker 1: have to get a second opinion, okay, and then bye bye.
Speaker 1: You just have to be very firm.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, time for health tips. Can each of us
Speaker 3: come up with one or two health tips or health
Speaker 3: wisdoms that we can offer our listeners.
Speaker 2: I can think of one. Your mind has a lot
Speaker 2: of power over your body, and it's a tool you'd
Speaker 2: have to learn how to use, but it is there
Speaker 2: and it is.
Speaker 1: Very self healing.
Speaker 4: And my tip would be to anyone who isn't feeling
Speaker 4: well not to ignore it. But there are so many
Speaker 4: places like urgent care that you can just drop in
Speaker 4: and find out what's going on with you. Don't procrastinate
Speaker 4: it when you're feeling bad. Take action health tip floss
Speaker 4: every day. That's not a joke.
Speaker 1: That's unpreventative because bacteria can form in your mouth and
Speaker 1: if you start swallowing that down and gets into your gut,
Speaker 1: and that's still a good thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mom told me keep moving because when you stop
Speaker 3: sometimes you won't get to start again. Good advice.
Speaker 4: And now the big question, what is your silver lining
Speaker 4: to aging? Navigating health and the.
Speaker 3: Body, social security?
Speaker 1: Two things Medicare and the old gays. You know, the
Speaker 1: old Gays helped to change my life, and that's the
Speaker 1: biggest thing about being alive. Really and experiencing that because
Speaker 1: you know, it was five years ago where I almost
Speaker 1: didn't make it, and that's saying something.
Speaker 4: Well, one of the unexpected things with growing older that's
Speaker 4: happened to me is I try to be more compassionate
Speaker 4: about people and not being as critical, you know, of everybody,
Speaker 4: because everyone has their own problems. And I believe that
Speaker 4: being critical of people only takes negative energy.
Speaker 2: And I think that that's the benefit of growing older,
Speaker 2: accumulating knowledge and perspected and being able to understand people's issues.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would add built when you say you're
Speaker 1: less critical of people, yeah, yeah, you're more compassionate, that's
Speaker 1: because you're less critical of yourself and that you've learned
Speaker 1: to let go. So therapy helps.
Speaker 3: That is three hundred dollars, give it to him, charge it.
Speaker 4: That's a wrap for today. Silver Linings is a production
Speaker 4: of Iheart's Ruby Studios and The Outspoken Network. We're your
Speaker 4: hosts Bill Lyons, Robert Breeves.
Speaker 3: Mick Peterson, and Jesse Martin.
Speaker 4: Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser. The episode was written
Speaker 4: by Ryan Amador, with post production by Eric Zeiler. Our
Speaker 4: theme music was composed by MaTx Heirschanau, with audio direction
Speaker 4: and design by Matt Stillo. And if you're having fun
Speaker 4: with us, please subscribe to follow along, and don't forget
Speaker 4: to rate and review the show whenever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: I'm just a greedy little pant.
Speaker 3: Give it a battle cry on that Dick
Speaker 4: I came out of the womb gay