WEBVTT - Substitute teacher 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:06.760 Hello everyone, and welcome back to Alchemy. This it's another 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:10.080 episode and I am still your guest host, James Heeney. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.320 I'm sitting in for Kevin Pollock today. Let's meet our 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:18.200 alchemists in this order. It's it's the same order as 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:24.200 last time. Cool, it's it's in the repetitive order. Cole 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:27.480 at what age? Oh? And first of all, just say cool, welcome. 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.480 How are you today? I'm great, James, thanks for having 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.680 me again in particularly at this order. Thank you, thanks 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:36.559 for following this order a second time with me. I 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.280 found another question that I'm really interested in hearing the 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:43.360 answer of at what age did you transition from listening 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:51.479 to children's music to listening to adult music? You know, 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.560 because you've got like a really great adult tasted music, 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:57.800 And like, I listened to kids music till I was 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:02.040 in probably junior high. It wasn't like one day I 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:07.040 was like Dad turned off Raffie put on Leonard Cohen. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:11.200 Let's go okay, I know what it's not like, but 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:15.720 what was it like? What was the transition? Like, I mean, 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:18.520 I think okay, so like I always listened to I 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:20.880 don't know if I ever really listened to children's music 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:23.160 I didn't listen like kids Bop or any of that bullshit. 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:26.760 Like I think I just listened to whatever, like the 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:31.319 Muppet Movie soundtrack or um, like my whatever. My parents 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:33.000 are listening to a lot of Steely Dan if that's 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:37.440 the kids music. You know, kids love that lyrical play 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:41.160 of Donalds began, um, and then you know, then a 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.160 lot of like whatever was popular at the time they 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:44.840 grew up in the eighties, so you know a lot 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:47.319 of Wham and You Too and that kind of stuff, 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:49.560 and then a lot of rap and Junior High, and 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.520 then Nirvana's never Mind came out, and then I was like, oh, 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:54.400 back to rock and roll. And then I just kind 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.800 of never looked back and it was all Indian whatever 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.280 after that. So I don't know. I guess I just 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.200 never really listen to kids music. For sad is listen 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:04.600 to whatever was in front of me, so to speak. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:09.240 M And next up we have Market Gag already, I 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.919 have the King of transitions, like your transition from kids 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.239 music to adult music. I'll say six, I was six there. 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:18.919 That's a good number. Thank you. That's the correct answer, 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.079 as Kevin would say. Um. Next up we have Mark 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:24.960 Gagle already, thanks for joining us today. Mark, how are you? 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.880 I'm great? How are you? I'm doing wonderful. But I've 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.680 got a question that I need answered. Hey, I've got 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.560 an answer that needs questioning. If you were going to 0:02:34.639 --> 0:02:37.679 fight to the death in an arena, and your opponent 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:40.440 would be equipped identically to you, so the same arm 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:43.000 or same weapon, what what would you suit yourself up 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:47.440 for battle knowing that you would win? If I knew 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:51.680 that If I knew that, um, my opponent had the 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:54.880 exact same armor as me, maybe not the same skills, 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.040 but they would have the same weapons and armor, what 0:02:57.040 --> 0:03:00.280 would you choose? Well, what I would choose is I 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:05.840 would choose armor that had a very sneaky hole in it. 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:09.880 Hell yeah, that my opponent did not notice when they 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:13.360 put the armor on, but I clocked. I know where 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.720 that hole is in the armor. So I would have 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:19.480 to have some sort of like elaborate embroidered uh like 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:23.040 character or something to hide that spot. But I knew 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.080 that I would be the only one that knew that 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.959 there was a slit right underneath the eagle's wing where 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:31.399 I could, you know, just get a knife in there. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.280 So a knife would be and you would take like 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.800 a probably a small weapon to the I mean, I 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.280 don't want to say what was the weapon you We're 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:40.600 going to choose. Uh, I would choose, I would I 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:44.000 would go Uh, I would go a knife and a 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:47.680 quarter staff. Wow, just to confuse the person. Yeah, just 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:49.560 so we could beat each other with sticks and that 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:52.160 this is getting dark. But then I would have my 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.560 knife on me because I knew where that spot was. 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.360 What age did you realize that the spot was there? 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:01.280 What age are you? Weirdly, I was six and it 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:04.320 was the exact moment that Rafie tried to stab me, 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:09.720 and Leonard Cohen jumped in and uh and saved my life. 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:15.960 And last, but only in this particular repeated order, we 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:20.800 have Craigkowski. Craig, welcome to Alchemy. This to be here 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:24.479 first time, long time, first time, long time, wonderful. I've 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.520 got a question that I need answered from you. Now. 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:31.160 If you could have an AI chip that's completely safe 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.120 implanted in your brain that could access information at the 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:41.479 same speed as an Internet search, would you get it? No? No, No, 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:47.400 that feels like a curse. Uh. I'm already pretty good 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:52.400 with information with trivia, though, as I age, there's there's 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.919 a slight lag, and I enjoy the lag sometimes, you 0:04:55.920 --> 0:05:00.479 know that, Yeah, having to piece things together. And I 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:06.400 also missed the moments of of people not knowing things. 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.800 And I'm nostalgic for those days of sitting around a 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.800 bar uh booth in the nineties and us trying to 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:17.400 remember the name of some obscure actor or song or 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.240 whatever and having to collectively piece it together through our 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:23.560 collective memory, rather than everyone having a device to to 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:26.520 look that up. So if I had all the information 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:31.320 accessible to me at any seconds, I would feel like 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:34.400 it would be a curse. Well, we'll have to agree 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:39.279 to disagree. Craick, that was the wrong answer. I'm kidding, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.480 it was right. It's right for you. You made a choice. 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:45.520 Good for you, all right. So all of today's scene 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:50.279 suggestions come from listener emails, and if you want priority, 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.599 consider becoming a Patreon v I P. You'll also get 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:57.840 exclusive content like bonus scenes and access to live shows. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.240 Uh And if you want to get that, it on 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:04.560 over to Patreon dot com, slash alchemy this, or if 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:08.120 you'd like to submit using suggestion the old timey way, 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:12.120 email us at alchemy this email at gmail dot com. 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:18.400 That's alchemy this dot com Scene number one actually does 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:22.280 come from an email listener. It's Sava and it says, Hi, 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:26.240 Kevin heard you needed some scene suggestions, not too specific, 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:31.520 not too vague, but just right. How about this substitute teacher? 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:35.320 Whow we I love the show and all of you alchemists. 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:43.120 Joey please make me breakfast? Kay? Thanks? Alright? Glass Uh, 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:49.880 I'm Mr stevens Uh. I'm not sure where Mr Nandez 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.719 was and her lessons plan, and honestly I don't care. 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.160 I've just got this TV here, in this VCR, We're 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:59.560 gonna show you a movie. Yea, all right? This is 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:04.520 Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal. Wait what what? It's a 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:09.760 It's a wonderful exploration of life and death featuring death 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:13.720 and a chess match. I think you're really gonna watch 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:20.960 it on VHS. Yes, there's a Criterion Blu Ray edition out. 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:27.360 It's two. This room is WiFi enabled. You can just 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:32.240 I understand that. But your your school makes us use 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.680 what they have in the A V room. And what 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.800 they had in the a V room was this dusty 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:40.640 VHS copy of being mer Bourgman's The Seventh Seal. This 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:44.640 tube screen television on this rolling card and this DCR. 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.960 So I'm sorry, but this is what we're gonna have 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.320 to use. Our last substitute teacher took us out to 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:58.679 the movies. Yeah, beat that. Look there's I don't really 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:00.640 care to beat that. I'm still gonna get paid no 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:02.600 matter what. I just had to press plan this VCR 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:07.280 and we went to a pagrele motive oar festival. You 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:11.280 went to it all, all of our festival. Hi've I 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.000 really want to go see a Parallel Mother is his 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:17.640 newest I mean, I've heard its fantastic, it's solid. We 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.480 liked it. It's pretty good. It's not as good as 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:22.800 his older stuff. But I think he's he's looking at 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:27.160 different themes now. But we can all agree. That substitute teacher, 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:32.839 I think it was Mr Ferdinand. I don't remember his name, 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:37.480 but he changed our lives forever, Senor Ferdinand, that's right. 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.280 But do you just want to phone it in? I 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.640 guess that's what the next generation? Okay, I didn't know 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:45.240 his Ferdinand. We've had a rivalry going since we were 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:52.800 in substitute teacher school together, the academy Substitute Academy and uh, okay, guys, 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:57.000 Welcome to Substitute Teacher Academy. Mrs Mrs O'Rourke is not 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:01.760 here today. Uh, what the hell are you? Who the 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:03.480 hell are you? Why are you put me sitting next 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:08.079 to Stevens? I'll look, what's your name? My name is 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:13.880 Mr Ferdinand. Okay, I'm gonna call you signor Ferdinand. Oh 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.520 why because of my accent? You're gonna call me senor Ferdinand. 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:19.800 I thought you would enjoy that. Everybody wants to call 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:25.000 me senor for Okay. Look, I don't know where Mrs 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.240 O'Rourke was in teaching you the the ins and outs 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:32.920 of substitute teaching, but can can anybody help me out here? 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.680 Where are you in the book? Oh? Man? I think 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.120 we were on chapter fifteen, which was, um, what to 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:47.560 do with an unreleased student? Okay, okay, um, I'm sorry. 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:53.040 Is this what you typically substitute teacher is? Sorry, substitute teach? 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.880 You know this seems like an unfamiliar subject to you. 0:09:58.000 --> 0:09:59.599 Look I I fill in, you know. I do a 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.240 lot of him. Okay, I'm mostly a gym teacher. I 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:07.320 do some some bands, some art. But yeah, today they 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.840 sent me to the substitute teacher academy. Why do you 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:13.280 not just bring out the brand new VCR that we 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.760 just got. We just watch a movie. You guys want 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:21.880 to crack that open? Yeah, let's let's do it. Wait 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.000 a second, what if we took advantage of this moment. 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.840 We've got an actual, live substitute teacher. Why don't you 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:33.240 tell us what it's like in your real life? Um? Well, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.679 it's it's tough. You know. I call in at six 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:40.240 am every morning, and sometimes you hear, uh, I got 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:44.319 nothing for you, Ted, And sometimes you hear, yeah, you're 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.960 going to uh two thousand Oaks, which is like in 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.440 rush to hours, like an hour and a half drive 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:56.200 for me to uh to do ninth grade bio. But 0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:59.440 what happens once you do get there? Yeah? What happens 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.920 when you get there? Well, I try to park in 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:06.600 the in the faculty section, and there's always a guy 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.559 saying no, no, no, you can't park here, and I'm like, no, no, 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:11.600 I'm I'm subbing. I'm subbing. He's like, well, do you 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.400 have your idea of Like, yeah, I have it, but 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:17.280 then I look and I always forget it. But what 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:21.240 does this have to do with changing children's lives? I 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:25.360 don't know. Is that what you're hoping to do. Well, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.080 that's why we've all signed up to be substitute teachers. 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:33.160 Why we're all in the academy. Hey, where did you 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:37.360 go to, Ferdinand? You should be teaching this class. I 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.120 am not ready to teach. No, No, you're you're ready. 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.760 I'm you're ready. I'm ready. In fact, I'm going to 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:48.760 take a smoke break outside and Ferdinand take over. I 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:54.200 suppose I should open this book to chapter fift but 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:59.720 this is not the right book. Bullshit, I'm not learning 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.040 from Ferdinand. I paid for this class. I want a 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.400 real teacher. I'm gonna If you want a real teacher, 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.160 you should not have come to substitute teacher academy. I 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.880 want to be a substitute teacher, not learned from one. Alright, kids, 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.160 fucking alright, fine, you know you want me to live 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:20.280 up to Ferdinand. Looking their desks, there are plane tickets. 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.920 We're going to Can. That's going to Can. We're going 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:35.960 now outside ing checked in. Wow, Wow, Wow, we're gonna 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:39.040 get to see the palm door winner before anybody else does. 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.800 That's right, kids, all right, just this way, I'll watch 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:45.240 out for the paparazzi line. Excuse us, excuse us. I 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:52.720 always thought it was plural. Who are you? I'm Eddie? Okay, 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:55.880 they must be on in that new Richard link later. 0:12:56.000 --> 0:12:59.800 But the kids, all right, kids, just just the way, 0:12:59.880 --> 0:13:02.520 this way, this way. Wait, which one of you is Eddie? 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.760 Which one? I'm Eddie? I'm Eddie. I've got you on 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.280 the jury. What. Yeah, you're gonna be on the jury. 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:15.559 You're gonna help select the winners. WHOA cool? Thanks Stevens. 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:21.480 Well there's David Lynch and Bomb June. Ho. Uh, my 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:25.720 name's Brian. What did you get me? Oh, Brian, you 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:29.960 get to introduce the screening of the brand new Thomas 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:35.880 Vinterberg movie. Um, so here, here's this, here's the one 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:37.679 sheet on it. You can learn a little bit about it, 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:39.480 and you get to run the Q and A afterwards too. 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.080 I hope you know what to ask about the Dogma 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.480 style of filmmaking, because we're gonna talk about that at length. 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.600 I don't I don't know. I don't know those things. 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.240 Maybe maybe I should not have put you in. No, No, 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.400 you didn't. You should have. You should have. You've changed 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:59.800 my life. You've changed my life more than that old Ferdinand, teacher, 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:07.640 little substitute teacher, Ferdinand. Right this way, students, right this way, 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:15.440 you're all going well, well, well, senor Ferdinand. If it 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:19.240 is not Stevens. What the hello? Kids? It is nice 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.400 to see you again. I brought a different substitute class 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.160 with me. What are you doing at the Cannes Film Festival? 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.680 I brought my kids here. I brought my kids instead 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.080 of showing them Seventh Seal again, I brought him here. 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.280 And Eddie is on the jury. Oh you got Eddie 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.480 on the jury. Hunt. Well, this is Charlie right here. Charlie, 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:41.280 tell him what you are doing in this festival. I uh, 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:46.720 I won a certain regard. That is right. My students 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:51.240 now win awards. But goodbye. Enjoy your being the help 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:57.000 at the festival. Bitch. Fernand was besting me in every 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:58.840 As a kids, we're making a film. We're making it now, 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.440 we're gonna get it. In what we're get, we're gonna get. 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:04.080 She'll be able to complete a film and get it 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.320 submitted and accepted. You see how long that ride carpet 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.160 line is. You see how long that line is for 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.120 them to do the step and repeats. You can make 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:14.160 this film we can get it into competition and we 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.920 can win this thing, all right, Mr Stevens, uh already. Well, 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:19.920 I got a phone and can shoot video on it, 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.240 and I can upload it pretty quick. Great. This is 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.200 just like the dogma style of filmmaking that I was 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.440 talking about earlier. Vincherberg will love this alright. And I 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.360 ran into Juliet Panosh that the water fountain. She says 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:35.760 she's between projects. Scrabber. She's great, She's so underrated. Okay, 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:40.320 let's see there's uh oh, there's uh Audrey Tattoo. Maybe 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.720 excuse me, Audrey, are you? Are you really at the moment? No, 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.000 would you like to do our dogma style filmmaking? That 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:54.080 the uh my substitute for fifth grade classes doing great? Fantastic? 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.600 Uh Oh, there's Yannis Kaminsky. He can lens it. He's 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:01.480 an amazing sint of photographer. Yahoo's yahoosa. Yeah, what do 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.400 you want? Will you shoot our film for us on 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:07.600 this one? Not fantastic. It's an iPhone eleven. I know 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:11.920 it's not the pro, but I think it's still pretty good. Alright. 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.560 It's me Brian, and I was wondering if maybe there 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:18.280 was a role for me in this movie. Still, someone's 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:22.760 got to write it. And William Goldman just died, so um, 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.760 you want to write it? Kid? And the bomb door 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:35.520 goes to Mr Stevens fourth grade class. We did Yes, Yes, 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:40.160 I knew it. Oh wow, Oh my gosh, guys, this 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.960 is I'm timing. This is a twelve minute standing ovation. 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:47.400 This is amazing. This is what all my treats have 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.480 been like. This is what all my dreams have been like. 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.240 This is reel, this is real, this is really happening. 0:16:54.920 --> 0:17:00.000 Mr Stevens, Wake up, you fell asleep. Mr Stevens. Mr Stevens, 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.800 h Oh my gosh, kids, I'm sorry, the movie is over. 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:09.760 Do you learn a lot we learned about chess and death? 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:18.960 Do you love maximum seats performance? At least man? And 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:31.480 that scene scene number two is coming from Alchemaniac Dougie, Hey, Alchemists, 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.800 I've been following Joey around for the better part of 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.680 six months. Everything seemed normal until about three days ago. 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.680 For now, listeners of Alchemy, this high your Deli meat 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:48.040 update soon scene suggestion. A seemingly innocent game of Duck 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:53.200 duck goose turns wildly violent in this jarring Who done it? 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.520 I feel like we're a little old be playing children's games. 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:07.840 Come on, get over over yourself, Barry. I mean, there's 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.040 no game better than Duck Duck Goose. Yea, Barry, How 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:16.480 else are you gonna learn about lifeble? The unbearable tension? 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:20.200 Who will be the goose? And once you are the goose? 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.760 Are you ready to be the goose? Are you ready 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:26.359 to jump up and run at any moment's notice, Barry? 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.240 Burst of adrenaline you get it's great for your heart. 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:32.600 I don't know. I've got kind of a blood pressure 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:34.720 thing going on, and I don't know if bursts of 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.720 energy or really what I need. She's the christ Berry. 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:40.080 It's like you don't even want to be in this treehouse. 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:43.720 I mean, I honestly don't want to be in this treehouse. 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:45.840 It was a little difficult to get up into it, 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:48.719 and it's I mean, luckily there's not many of us 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.520 up here, but it's a little small, like it was 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:57.400 built for kids. Yeah, kids at heart, Yeah, Barry, we're 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:03.280 trying to have a caprissn Barry. Okay, stabbed right through 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:07.560 to the other side. Wow, you're strong, Berry. Here's another one. 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:09.600 You know what, things aren't like they used to be 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:11.760 when we were kids. Okay, I've grown up quite a bit. 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.920 I got a family, I got a job. Shut your mouth, 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:18.399 step down, stepped down with the straw. You shut your 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:21.560 mouth about that berry? We said, we swore his kids. 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:23.240 We took a blood oath. We were never going to 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:29.679 grow up and we never will. Well, I guess if 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:31.240 I just put my finger on the other side of 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:33.159 this bag, I can squeeze it into my mouth. Are 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:35.679 you still having trouble with the fucking caprice sign? I'm 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:43.000 not gonna waste a straw throid. Duck. Oh, it's started, Duck. 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:49.040 Please don't please don't duck. Okay, well, aren't we gonna 0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:53.760 wait for ted Duck? Please stop? Just hold off for 0:19:53.800 --> 0:20:02.239 a second. Please, there's only two of us, Duck. Can 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:03.879 we hold Can we just have a time out? Is 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:09.840 there no time out? Duck? What's the matter, barry Duck? 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:12.040 I just feel like that we should wait for everyone 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:18.040 to arrive. Good Duck. Well you I feel tizzy, Duck. 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:23.040 You time out? Time out? Please some time out? And 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:28.720 tuk duck duck. Any minute now, I'm going to say 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:33.920 the word duck. Huh duck. Are you getting dizzy? You're 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:43.879 spinning around them. Ted's in the house, talk somebody. You 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:46.959 got it all right? Oh we just started. We just 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:50.359 started the game, but just you like to finish it, Ted, 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:52.480 if you can just talk some sense of to these guys, 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.800 we don't need to play children's teams stop right? Are 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.080 you serious? I mean I've been waiting for the d 0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:01.760 d G all afternoon. Well, you were the king of 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:08.639 this man, You've always been the king of this right, No, Barry, 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:12.520 you are sweating really badly. I just I'm not in 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:14.280 the same shape I used to be as a kid. 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:16.879 That I'm a little afraid of heights. I don't know 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:19.960 why we're gonna play in a treehouse, Duck. This is 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:22.440 where we made the blood oath. Duck. I know it. 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:30.120 We're not playing, Barry, We're bonding, Okay, Duck, All right, 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:41.119 duh Duck. Ted, did you have a problem with the 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:44.080 capri son? No, what an easy, dude, It's come on, 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:53.600 it's the elementary m hm. Duck, are you okay? Maybe 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.320 maybe we can make the circle a little smaller so 0:21:56.440 --> 0:22:02.600 that there's more room to run around it. Room, okay, Duck. 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:09.600 Could I have a quick time out, Duck? There's no timeouse, right, duck. 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:14.520 All right, what have we got, Detective? A lot of 0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:17.800 blood in this treehouse. Jesus Christ, I never seen this 0:22:18.040 --> 0:22:22.639 much blood in the treehouse before. Uh it takes some 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:26.720 more pictures of that corner over there. What are we 0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:31.280 looking at here? All those three sons? What how many 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:36.760 bodies be looking at well? I mean we got three bodies. Yeah, 0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:41.000 we got a big pilot caprice sons over there, all 0:22:41.119 --> 0:22:44.440 stabbed all the way through. Okay, well do you think 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:52.600 that means Jesus, I haven't seen this. It's a a 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:58.800 six oh eighty six. Sure. Remember the squeeze at killer. Yeah, 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:01.560 we never caught the guy. Yeah, I never caught him. 0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:04.880 Traced him back to this very neighborhood, but still never 0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:08.879 caught the squeeze a killer, never found him. Burry your 0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:12.800 home early age? I from your friends. Oh yeah, we 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.600 took all our clothes off before we we well, we left, 0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:20.680 so that's why I'm in my underwear. Whatever. Crazy, I'm 0:23:20.680 --> 0:23:22.919 gonna go up in a shower real quick. Is there 0:23:22.960 --> 0:23:27.440 gonna be dinner soon? I thought we would go out tonight. 0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:34.680 Out tonight? Yeah, okay, okay, I mean it's my birthday, 0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:38.199 which you remember, right of course? I got you a 0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:46.080 birthday present for your birthday. It's a it's uh getting delivered. Okay, Well, 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:48.119 I thought we'd go to, you know, a nice French 0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:55.439 place tonight, maybe get some duck a duck very duck. No, no, 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:58.600 why don't we go somewhere for something like duck? No, 0:23:59.400 --> 0:24:04.520 I don't want I can't talk burgers. I don't want burgers. Berry. 0:24:04.600 --> 0:24:14.120 I went duck no duck. She got another body. Detective Jesus, 0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:17.960 what happened here? I don't know. No capris sons though 0:24:18.000 --> 0:24:21.800 anywhere in side. Non. Oh, this is a shame too. 0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:26.840 Look at this. Look on it right the the birthday. 0:24:30.040 --> 0:24:32.919 What a bummer, I know, geez, But they pulled us 0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:35.080 off of that crime seemed to go to this crime scene. 0:24:35.280 --> 0:24:38.840 It's weird, right, like weird. It's almost like with Chase 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:41.920 in the same Wait a minute, you think with Chase 0:24:42.000 --> 0:24:47.040 in the same killer around town? I think this is connected? No, 0:24:48.200 --> 0:24:51.120 I mean could? I mean it could be two murders 0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:57.080 identical on the same night in the same town. Made 0:24:57.160 --> 0:25:03.320 this since six o eighties? Eggs? Oh sorry, hey, boss, 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:09.440 I slept at the office tonight. Just wanted to know. 0:25:09.520 --> 0:25:13.160 It's a little weird. The initiative. Barry problems at home, 0:25:13.280 --> 0:25:16.800 So I forgere to be okay if I just crashed here? 0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:22.960 Nobody's sure? Sure? Hm, hey boss, what do you want 0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.000 me and uh me and Andy to put this ladder 0:25:26.520 --> 0:25:31.480 uh closer to the room next to my office? I think, well, sure, 0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:33.840 we're swinging around here. Hey, watch out the pal duck 0:25:34.880 --> 0:25:40.200 duck duck. Most myth sit there on that one. Maybe 0:25:40.320 --> 0:25:42.840 maybe bring it around a little closer to it, going 0:25:42.880 --> 0:25:46.000 it the other way, okay, turning around? Okay, everybody, duck duck. 0:25:46.280 --> 0:25:51.480 I can't take it. I can't take it. Boston Berry, 0:25:51.480 --> 0:25:56.080 what what are you doing with that knife? Jesus Christ? Mad? 0:25:57.920 --> 0:26:00.240 What are these movers have to do with anything? I 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:05.440 don't know? How's it connected? Three more bodies, three more bodies. 0:26:06.880 --> 0:26:09.720 We are terrible detectives. If we can't figure this out. 0:26:10.080 --> 0:26:12.359 I feel like we're just always a step behind. You know, 0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:15.040 you know what? You know? What always helps me think? 0:26:15.440 --> 0:26:18.520 What's that? Those little animal shape boats out on Echo 0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:21.360 Park Lake? Yeah? You want to go get on those 0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:24.040 little boats? You bet? I love? That would be fun. 0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:28.959 Let's do that. So what do you want to push up? 0:26:29.040 --> 0:26:32.880 You want a strawberry shortcake? I gotta I gotta get 0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:37.159 I'll get a waffle cone with like vanilla ice cream 0:26:37.480 --> 0:26:43.399 and um just fudge. Alright, boring, Okay, boring, it's after 0:26:43.440 --> 0:26:54.960 the hardwords from top gun ghost. What's your problem? Bell? 0:26:56.440 --> 0:27:02.200 Poor ice cream never had a chance. Unbelievable. It was 0:27:02.240 --> 0:27:04.119