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Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another week of Casual Chaos.

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Speaker 1: I have one of my Bravo family members here, Shina Shea.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Casual Chaos.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited for you to be here. I guess

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Speaker 1: we'll get right into it. While you just came out

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Speaker 1: with a memoir called My Good Side and you are

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Speaker 1: ready on the New York Times bestseller Congratulations.

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Speaker 4: Thank you so much. No so so exciting, It just

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Speaker 4: is amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you opened up a lot during this memoir, and.

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Speaker 1: I feel like people are always interested about what we share,

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Speaker 1: especially on reality TV, but there is so much more

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Speaker 1: that you can also keep personal and not share.

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Speaker 2: So this was kind of your outlet to do that.

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Speaker 1: Were you surprised on the positive feedback that all of

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Speaker 1: the viewers were giving you and how many people resonated

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Speaker 1: with your stories.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's what I love about doing reality TV,

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Speaker 4: is because we are able to be ourselves and put

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Speaker 4: ourselves out there and show that we're going through the

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Speaker 4: same life experiences that everyone else is. You know, there's

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Speaker 4: so many relatable topics in my book, between motherhood and

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Speaker 4: postpartum mental health and like everything in between. I really

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Speaker 4: just go into all of it. I'm such an open

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Speaker 4: book and I didn't really hold back with this book.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure I could have said more details about certain things,

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Speaker 4: but yeah, just overall, I was so excited to write

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Speaker 4: a book to add more context to the stories that

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Speaker 4: people have seen on television and think they know everything.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, when people come up to you, you know,

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Speaker 4: they're like, oh my god, I feel like I know you.

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Speaker 3: Now you can.

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Speaker 1: Say that, Yeah, no, I think that's the number one

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Speaker 1: line I've watched you grow up.

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Speaker 2: I know, I feel like I know you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like kind of weird, but I guess it's also

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Speaker 1: nice that our fans can connect with us so much.

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Speaker 2: But then there's also so much more to our.

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Speaker 1: Lives that you wish that people could really see. And

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Speaker 1: we also weren't always able to show that on reality TV.

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Speaker 3: And that's the thing.

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Speaker 4: It's like you're getting an edited, produced version of an

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Speaker 4: entire event. And so writing this book, I was like,

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Speaker 4: now we can give more context. We can talk about

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Speaker 4: why I said that, why I acted this way, what

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Speaker 4: I was going through, what my actual internal dialogue was

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Speaker 4: outside of the interviews. So I really loved that I

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Speaker 4: had this opportunity to just put it all out there

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Speaker 4: in my words under my editing. The only other person

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Speaker 4: editing is the copy editor. So that was great.

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Speaker 2: So is that how writing this book was so different?

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Speaker 1: Because now you feel like you were able to just

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Speaker 1: lay everything out on the table in black and white

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Speaker 1: and just on your own terms.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt like I finally had an opportunity to

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Speaker 4: just tell the entire story. And being on reality TV

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Speaker 4: for so long, so many of these stories have been told,

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Speaker 4: but there's just always more to it. And that's what

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Speaker 4: I've always said. It's like, if you watch the show

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Speaker 4: and you don't like me, you think I'm annoying or whatever, Okay, sure,

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Speaker 4: But if you say, like, oh, well I don't like

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Speaker 4: her from vander Pump Rules, I'm like, well, you don't

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Speaker 4: know me, so listen to the book, read the book,

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Speaker 4: and then if you still don't like me for all

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Speaker 4: of me, that's okay. I didn't write this book to

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Speaker 4: be more liked. I wrote it to be more understood

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Speaker 4: because I feel like, after gosh, I've been on TV

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Speaker 4: for eleven twelve seasons, thirteen years, It's like there's just

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Speaker 4: so much that you haven't seen. And I still had

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Speaker 4: so much story to tell, so hopefully that continues in

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Speaker 4: the reality TV realm. But I just wanted to have

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Speaker 4: it all out with my own control, under my agency,

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Speaker 4: with you know, just putting everything out there and hoping

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Speaker 4: it resonated with people, which I think it has.

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Speaker 1: No definitely, And You've mentioned some really big names that

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Speaker 1: I was so I was like, oh my god, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like, I want you to tell me about it.

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Speaker 1: So you mentioned John Mayer, Eddie Cibron am I saying

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Speaker 1: his name, Jesse Metcalf, and even the Jonas brothers. But

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Speaker 1: I know for the Jonas brothers, you were the pizza

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Speaker 1: girl during Yeah, their show on Disney. Was it on Disney?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Did you watch that when you were a kid?

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Speaker 1: Well, I was a huge camp rock girl. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: so then when they then got their own show, I

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Speaker 1: was like, this is every little girl's dream. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is amazing, and they were so cute. So it

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Speaker 1: was that was my childhood, like camp rock, big time

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Speaker 1: rush Hannah Montana.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I loved all of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: My sister she just turned twenty eight, but that was

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Speaker 4: like her childhood too. So for me, I was definitely

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Speaker 4: a little too old to be watching those things, but

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Speaker 4: having a little sister, I was obsessed with Hannah Montana.

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Speaker 4: I recently showed Summer Hannah Montana the movie, and she

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Speaker 4: loved it.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, now we get to go back and watch

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Speaker 3: the entire show.

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Speaker 2: Wait, and I think about this all the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, and you probably think it's so crazy too,

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Speaker 1: because now with your daughter, Like I feel like they

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Speaker 1: what do they have now? They don't have shows like

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Speaker 1: Hannah Montana or The Jonas Brothers or even growing up

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Speaker 1: watching Barney. I carly, like, what are my kids gonna watch? Like,

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Speaker 1: I just feel like everything's so on TikTok youtubelix, Like, yeah.

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Speaker 2: They don't have shows. This is so crazy.

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Speaker 4: No, it is so different, and that's why I'm so thankful.

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Speaker 4: Like I feel like my generation of kids was the

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Speaker 4: last generation really with no technology because even like with

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Speaker 4: my sister, she had this like tiny, little weird grain

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Speaker 4: phone that had four buttons.

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Speaker 3: It was like mom, Dad's sister emergency.

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Speaker 4: So it's like she grew up so you know, like

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Speaker 4: you did having some technology. But for us, I mean,

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Speaker 4: I'm in high school just like waiting on dial up internet.

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Speaker 4: It's like that, and you probably don't even remember dial up,

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Speaker 4: but now yes, with TV. I'm like, I remember like

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Speaker 4: Friday nights. I wanted to stay home and watch like

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Speaker 4: Nicked Night and all that and all of these shows

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Speaker 4: where we don't really have that anymore. They're streaming everything

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Speaker 4: is yeah, you two. I mean Summer was like a

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Speaker 4: miss Rachel Girley growing up, just when she was a toddler.

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Speaker 4: I mean she's still a toddler, but now she's kind

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Speaker 4: of grown out of that. So it's like, Okay, what's

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Speaker 4: the next phase of things that we watch?

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Speaker 3: And yeah, it is so different.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so crazy different.

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Speaker 1: So then you mentioned all of these things in your

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Speaker 1: book and kind of just like talked about growing up

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Speaker 1: and how you led your way to vander Pump Rules.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I done got the tea.

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Speaker 4: I always wanted to be in entertainment ever since I

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Speaker 4: was a little kid.

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Speaker 3: I knew I wanted to do acting.

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Speaker 4: I knew I wanted to be on TV, and so

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Speaker 4: it was something I pursued my whole life. My mom

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Speaker 4: didn't allow me to act professionally as a kid. She

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Speaker 4: also worked full time, so it's not like she would

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Speaker 4: be able to take.

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Speaker 3: Me to auditions and stuff.

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Speaker 4: So like did you want to just outside of LA, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: like thirty minutes east.

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Speaker 3: So it was always just like so close yet so far.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And I remember my freshman year of college, I was

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Speaker 4: just like, I don't want to be in school anymore.

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Speaker 3: I'm eighteen.

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Speaker 4: I just want to drop out, go be famous, live

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Speaker 4: in LA And no one in my family had gotten

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Speaker 4: their college degree. And my grandma, I remember, was just like,

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Speaker 4: you were going to be the one person you know

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Speaker 4: who got their degree, and was kind of disappointed.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to quit or drop out.

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Speaker 4: And later that year she passed away, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to get my degree.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to show you. And so I stayed in school.

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Speaker 4: I was already a little behind because I was taking

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Speaker 4: the bare minimum for my scholarships, so then I had

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Speaker 4: to go from twelve units to nineteen units. Also while

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Speaker 4: working and not really any extracurricular activities. I had to

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Speaker 4: do summer school, but I made up for it. I graduated.

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Speaker 4: I was only twenty I turned twenty one the day after,

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Speaker 4: and then I moved out to LA started working at

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Speaker 4: the Cigar Lounge, and that's just literally where my Hollywood

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Speaker 4: career dreams, all of that started. I met some of

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Speaker 4: the right people, some of the wrong people who happened

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Speaker 4: to be married and I did not know that.

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Speaker 3: But working there just kind of set.

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Speaker 4: Up their trajectory of my life in LA And it's

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Speaker 4: also where I met John Mayer. And if it wasn't

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Speaker 4: for him and me getting fired for hooking up with him,

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't have worked at Villablanca.

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Speaker 3: Like vander pump roles might not exist.

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Speaker 2: Wait, that's so crazy.

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Speaker 1: Weit filled me in on that. So how did how

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Speaker 1: did that happen? So was he at the Did he

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Speaker 1: own the Cigar Loue?

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Speaker 4: No, he was, so I didn't know this at the time.

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Speaker 4: He was a member of the New York One. There

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Speaker 4: was one in New York one in Beverly Hills, and

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Speaker 4: I didn't know that. And honestly, it didn't matter. If

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Speaker 4: I did, I wouldn't have cared. I sort of, you know,

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Speaker 4: went home with him. But originally I got called in

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Speaker 4: to work a private party. It was a birthday for

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Speaker 4: a high profile celebrity and they wouldn't tell me who

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Speaker 4: and they're like, we just need extra hands on deck.

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Speaker 3: You would be perfect for this party.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay, sure, So I go in and

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Speaker 4: I'm like, whose birthday party is it? And they're like,

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Speaker 4: you'll see, and in walks John Mayer shaved head tattoos

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Speaker 4: with Jennifer Aniston on his arm, and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 4: my gosh, Like I mean I was more excited.

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Speaker 3: For her than him.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I would have been to literally.

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Speaker 4: So I end up having so much fun with them

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Speaker 4: all night. We're drinking this like it was a new

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Speaker 4: Patron that had just come out. It was like Patron

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Speaker 4: Platinum or whatever the new silver expensive tequila was. And

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Speaker 4: I'm like walking her to the bathroom, making sure everything's

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Speaker 4: okay with her, checking on him.

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Speaker 3: Do you need more drinks? They're like yeah, get another

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Speaker 3: for yourself. I'm like okay.

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Speaker 4: And then at the end of the night, they're like,

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Speaker 4: do you want to come back with us? And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: is it like an after.

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Speaker 3: Party or we Then I'm like, well, where do you live?

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Speaker 4: And jen said she lived in like not the Palisades

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Speaker 4: or palas Vertus or whatever. It was not close to Hollywood.

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Speaker 4: And I'm broke twenty two years old. I'm like, there's

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Speaker 4: no ubers, there's nothing like that. So I'm like, how

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Speaker 4: gonna get home? Like I'm gonna have to call it

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Speaker 4: tax see, Like I was just like the logistics of it.

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Speaker 3: I'm drunk.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't know where this is going, but

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Speaker 4: I'm not gonna go there. And I couldn't believe I

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Speaker 4: said no to that opportunity, but I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to be stranded, like I don't know what kind

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Speaker 4: of party this is.

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Speaker 1: Well, then again, it's like you're showing up, and it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to be the dumb twenty two year

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Speaker 1: old that is at the party way too long and

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Speaker 1: doesn't know how to get home.

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Speaker 4: No, so I was just like, oh, thanks, like I

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Speaker 4: have to stay and close up or whatever.

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Speaker 3: And then I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Fast forward two three weeks later. It wasn't that long after.

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Speaker 4: I guess they broke up. They were very off and

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Speaker 4: on over like a short period of time, but they

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Speaker 4: did break up. He comes back into the cigar lounge,

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Speaker 4: has his friend assistant manager whoever, like, asked for my

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Speaker 4: number and wanted to hang out that night.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say no to that, so.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, confirmed they're broken up, Like okay, And

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Speaker 4: he came over and we had some fun and then

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Speaker 4: it continued casually for I don't know, maybe six months.

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Speaker 4: But I get a call one day from my mother.

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Speaker 4: She's driving my little sister to school, like middle school.

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Speaker 4: She's really young and yeah, she's probably ten years old

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Speaker 4: because I was like twenty two. So she's driving her

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Speaker 4: to school listening to Kiss FM and Ryan Seacrest does

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Speaker 4: like the Morning Sleeves and the tea was that Sheanna Maria,

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Speaker 4: cocktail waitress from Beverly Hills, was dating John Mayer.

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Speaker 3: And my mom's like, a wait, what calls me? And

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Speaker 3: she's like, Sheena.

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Speaker 4: I remember this so vividly because I had someone else

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Speaker 4: over the night before, so I'm like trying to answer

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Speaker 4: my phone but not have this dude to.

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Speaker 3: Hear about this dude. I'm like, oh my gosh, oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like, hi, you gotta go, like I have

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Speaker 4: to deal with this crisis. Then my boss is calling

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Speaker 4: me and they're like, Shina, what are we supposed to do?

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Speaker 4: I'm like, what do you mean? Like I'm nothing. I

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Speaker 4: was not the person who put this story out there.

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Speaker 4: We've been hanging out for like six months. I want

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Speaker 4: to continue hanging out with him, so I didn't say

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Speaker 4: anything to like any tabloids or anything.

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Speaker 3: However, Well, he also.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't associated with the Beverly Hills cigar bar.

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Speaker 4: Well, I didn't know he was even associated with the

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Speaker 4: New York one. I just knew he was a celebrity

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Speaker 4: who came in, of course. And also several times that

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Speaker 4: we hung out, there were other friends there. There were

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Speaker 4: girlfriends who were there hanging out. There was one night

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Speaker 4: where a couple of our guy friends were there, so

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Speaker 4: there were a lot of other people around us. One

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Speaker 4: of those people decided to tell our boss, and it

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Speaker 4: was because she had dated a member previously and gotten fired.

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Speaker 4: So when she heard I was hanging out with him,

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Speaker 4: she calls in and was like, oh, so you're gonna

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Speaker 4: fire me, but not fire her. And I'm like, why

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Speaker 4: would I get fired? Like he's fake, mis sure, but

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Speaker 4: like he's not a member. I checked the log. His

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Speaker 4: name is not on there, but I guess he was

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Speaker 4: a member of the New York Lounge.

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Speaker 3: And so the owner helps me in.

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Speaker 2: There could be some there could be an argument there, right,

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 4: But the owner was just like this woman was threatening

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Speaker 4: like a discrimination lawsuit if she got fired, and I

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Speaker 4: didn't and it was becoming a whole thing. I go,

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Speaker 4: it's fine, I'll bow out, like I need a job,

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Speaker 4: but I don't want you to get into any legal trouble.

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Speaker 4: You guys have been amazing to me. Just can you

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Speaker 4: help me with like a good recommendation. And the owner

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Speaker 4: was so incredible, took care of my bills for the month,

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Speaker 4: was like, let me just give you like a severance,

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Speaker 4: like surfers don't get severance, you know, it's like I've

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Speaker 4: benefits or anything.

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Speaker 2: It's like a really nice boss.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but he just like it was my birthday the

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Speaker 4: next week, and so it was kind of just like

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00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 4: a birthday partying gift. Was like I don't want you

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Speaker 4: to stress. Whenever you know you need a recommendation, I'll

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Speaker 4: get you, you know, the best recommendation there is. And

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Speaker 4: so I called my friend and I was like, hey,

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Speaker 4: didn't you just start bartending in Beverly Hills And he

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, yeah, it's called Villa Blanca, and yesterday

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Speaker 4: the owners are here.

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Speaker 3: You should come by. So I go over. I meet

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Speaker 3: Ken and he's like.

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Speaker 4: Well, you're not very cute and you don't have much personality.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, well that's kind of rude, but then

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Speaker 4: I soon realized, oh that's his British dry sense of humor.

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Speaker 4: He thinks I'm pretty and I am like cute with

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Speaker 4: a personality, and he was like, can you start tonight?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, well, shoot, because I just called

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Speaker 4: in another favor to a friend who worked in bottle

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Speaker 4: service and they're like, you can start at the club tonight,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like what do I do? When I was like,

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Speaker 4: is there any chance I could start tomorrow? And he

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah, sure, And so then the next day

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Speaker 4: I work a lunch shift.

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Speaker 3: They asked me to stay for a double.

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Speaker 4: I work the dinner shift, completely up Ken's order.

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Speaker 3: Think I'm gonna get fired, but they liked me.

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Speaker 4: They kept me around, and fast forward a couple of

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Speaker 4: years later, we have a TV show.

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Speaker 1: So you were working there for quite some time before

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Speaker 1: man or pump Roles started.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, even before Real Housewives of Beverly Hills started, like

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Speaker 4: at least a year.

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Speaker 1: So you kind of like saw Lisa's entire career, not

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Speaker 1: obviously she's always been a business woman, but career in

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Speaker 1: reality TV start.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember thinking that she was just going

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Speaker 4: to turn into this monster when we started like when

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Speaker 4: she started filming and was just be like I need this,

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Speaker 4: I need this, I need that. And so we're all

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Speaker 4: like scaredless. When cameras pick up and they're in the restaurant,

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Speaker 4: We're like, oh my god, oh my god. It was

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Speaker 4: the total opposite. It was just like we saw a

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Speaker 4: softer side of her. She was getting to know us better,

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Speaker 4: she was learning like everyone's names. It wasn't so much

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Speaker 4: just about the business. It was more about her personal life,

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Speaker 4: the staff and all of that. And so then it

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Speaker 4: turned into you know, vander Pump Brules a yeah, year.

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Speaker 2: Later, because I mean as vander Pump Brules.

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Speaker 1: It really as much as yes, they showed Lisa on

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Speaker 1: the business side and talking to her partners or whatever

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Speaker 1: it was, it was mainly about your guys's life.

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Speaker 4: It was yeah, I mean, yes, she started it. It

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Speaker 4: is her show, it is her name. She is the boss,

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00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:11,399
Speaker 4: of course exactly, she's an executive producer. But you know,

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Speaker 4: I don't think her storyline got us two Emmy nominations.

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Speaker 3: I'll say that not being shady, that's just the no.

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Speaker 4: I mean.

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Speaker 1: And I completely agree with you though, because they really

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00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 1: did follow you and your friends' lives and it really

352
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Speaker 1: was the whole thing for how many seasons?

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Speaker 3: It was eleven and now you know twelve with new kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, how do you feel about that? Do

355
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Speaker 1: you feel like it's going to be the same.

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Speaker 3: It's not going to be the same.

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Speaker 4: I think they're going to try and do what Southern

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00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,679
Speaker 4: Hospitality is doing actually really well. And now you know,

359
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 4: we have Next Gen NYC, so it's like, I get it.

360
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Speaker 4: They are going in a younger demographic with some shows.

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Speaker 4: I think if they were gonna do this, it was

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Speaker 4: the perfect time, going off the height of scandaval.

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Speaker 3: You have all of these.

364
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Speaker 4: New Gen Z viewers and the show is bigger than

365
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 4: it ever was, So I understood why they did it.

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Speaker 4: I think that the group was so fractured there was

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00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,199
Speaker 4: really nowhere to go with this story. It would have

368
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 4: to be a show filmed about what Katie and Arianna

369
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 4: are doing, what Sheen and Laula are doing, what Tom

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00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,600
Speaker 4: and Tom are doing. And then James, if he wasn't canceled.

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Speaker 4: So it's like all of that it just cohesively wasn't

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00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,320
Speaker 4: working anymore. You know, we're not going on group trips,

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Speaker 4: it's not.

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Speaker 1: Going Yeah, and at the end of the day, you

375
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 1: guys weren't working in the restaurant.

376
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Speaker 2: You all are beyond that at this point.

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00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,640
Speaker 1: Oh yes, Tom and Tom have their bar in La Yes,

378
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 1: Arianna and.

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00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, why did I just play Katie? Yes?

380
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 2: Are you okay?

381
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 1: But Arianna and Katie they do have their sandwich shop.

382
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 1: I mean, Arianna is the host of Love Island in

383
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,919
Speaker 1: one of the most trending shows in the US. I

384
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 1: mean everyone talks about it, like, for you guys to

385
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 1: be on this show as kind of still restaurant servers,

386
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 1: you guys are beyond that. You really are.

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00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, it didn't make sense anymore. I worked there for

388
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 4: eight seasons, and after season five I was like, look,

389
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,159
Speaker 4: I'm so happy to show up and pick up shifts

390
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,720
Speaker 4: and help, but I don't feel right being in a

391
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 4: pool tip with all of the other servers who are

392
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,200
Speaker 4: working their asses off while I'm just like taking photos

393
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 4: and chit chatting. So I'm like, please take me off

394
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,959
Speaker 4: the schedule. I'm happy to still come in on my

395
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 4: own accord, on my own schedule. Whenever I need to

396
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,640
Speaker 4: film in the restaurant, I will, but it became more

397
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 4: of me just coming in, clocking in for my hourly

398
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Speaker 4: and just helping run drinks, helping run food. I'm like,

399
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 4: I don't.

400
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,400
Speaker 2: Well, because it became such an empire.

401
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: I feel that then obviously, like so is quite literally

402
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: an LA attraction at this point. Yeah, people go to LA,

403
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: want to go to ser want to see you guys.

404
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: So it got to a point I felt like when

405
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 1: the show was so high that when you guys were

406
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: in there, you really were just drawing attention to the restaurant.

407
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,879
Speaker 1: And that's why, I mean, they're all over at this point,

408
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 1: which is crazy.

409
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was so hard to like actually do

410
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 4: the job while filming, while taking photos, and so I

411
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,199
Speaker 4: think they kind of saw like, Okay, we do have

412
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 4: to kind of shift for the next couple seasons, and

413
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 4: they had us, you know, coming in more on call

414
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 4: when we needed to than being scheduled four or five

415
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:40,400
Speaker 4: days a week.

416
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 3: I mean, we didn't need to work that much anymore.

417
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 4: But it was tough the last few seasons because it's like, okay,

418
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 4: well now none of them work here at all, so

419
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 4: do we host events here? Like how do we keep

420
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 4: it around the restaurant? And it's like it doesn't need

421
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,679
Speaker 4: to be based around the restaurant. It needs to be

422
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 4: based around Lisa and all of us, whether we're her

423
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 4: staff or we're her friends, we're still in each other's lives,

424
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 4: so can we pivot to that? And then it was like, no,

425
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 4: We're going to take it back to the restaurant. I'm like, okay, good,

426
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 4: So yeah, now we can you know, do other things.

427
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 4: And I'm really excited for the new cast for most

428
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 4: of them. There's one guy who I know is saying

429
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 4: something about me on a podcast and I'm like, I'm

430
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 4: no way, like.

431
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 2: We also the disrespect, Yeah, like I know.

432
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 4: I'm like, at least the girls know who paved the

433
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 4: way for them, and yeah.

434
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 1: I know that's what I'm saying. You guys fully paved

435
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 1: the way and they are They're not like like they're

436
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 1: not replacing you guys. It's just this is what Bravo

437
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 1: is doing right now, and it's very obvious they do

438
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: want a younger demographic, younger shows, younger people to come in,

439
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,320
Speaker 1: and that's totally fine, as much as they do also

440
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 1: have still their Real Housewives and The Valleys and everything

441
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, but they want to keep those shows

442
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: to that age demographic and then in people for the

443
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: younger shows, which is totally okay, And basically it was

444
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: your timeline was up on vander Pump, like, you guys

445
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: have established yourselves and now, uh, you guys should be

446
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 1: grateful that you're now getting this opportunity right to now

447
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: build yourself.

448
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

449
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 4: So when I heard him say something about me, I

450
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 4: was like, excuse me, sir, Like you don't even know me.

451
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 4: You're welcome for this opportunity. Yeah.

452
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 3: No, but for real, a couple of the.

453
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 4: Girls, I've been one of them, I've been friends with

454
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 4: for gosh, probably like eight years. I was trying to

455
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 4: get her on the show since like season six or seven.

456
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,199
Speaker 4: We're legitimately friends. She legitimately works at the restaurant, but

457
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 4: I was the only one who was really friends with her.

458
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 4: So I'm really excited that now she gets her own opportunity.

459
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 4: She's not just Sheena's friend or another server, like. She

460
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 4: is a star of the show and one of her

461
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 4: best friends. I met a little over a year ago

462
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 4: and we've become friends, and she's the Sina she says

463
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: of the season, and I was like, oh, I'm sorry.

464
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 3: I was like, no, it's a compliment. Oh my god.

465
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 3: I'm like thank you.

466
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 2: No, I love that.

467
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you wish that you added into

468
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: your memoir or basically maybe something that didn't make it

469
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 1: at the final cut that you wish was in it.

470
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: They're just being on book tour and having certain questions asked.

471
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: There were a couple things that came up in like

472
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 4: a game or whatever, and I'm like, oh, I forgot

473
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 4: about that.

474
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 3: I could have talked about that.

475
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 4: And then just after reading the book so many times

476
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 4: reading the audiobook, I'm sitting in the booth reading the

477
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 4: audiobook and I'm like, can I just add a couple

478
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 4: extra sentences here for the audiobook even.

479
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 3: Though it's not in the written book.

480
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 4: So there were some things where I'm like, I should

481
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 4: have added more detail here or whatever. But you know,

482
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 4: I can always write another book. And that's the beauty

483
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 4: of doing podcasts as we can you can speak your

484
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 4: mind exactly.

485
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: Any of your former vander Pump Rule cast members reached

486
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 1: out and congratulated you on your memoir.

487
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 4: Loa Lala, Well, yes, I mean she's still very much

488
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 4: in my almost everyday life. The girls go to school together,

489
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 4: their best friend, so I know she had like spoken

490
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 4: about it on her podcast and of course congratulated me.

491
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 4: She reached out over book tour and just said, you know,

492
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 4: I just feel the need to tell you that I'm

493
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 4: just so happy for you. And Schwartz for sure, I

494
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 4: know he I don't know if he posted or it

495
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 4: was a call, whatever, but he was very supportive.

496
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 3: Kristin. I know she bought a copy of it.

497
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 4: I also sent her like the same pr box that

498
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 4: I sent you and your mom, but a lot of

499
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 4: people didn't end up posting that, and I'm like confirmed

500
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 4: it was delivered.

501
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 2: So wait, really, that's so rude.

502
00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, so there were I sent a box to pretty

503
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 4: much every to every current Valley cast member, almost.

504
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 2: Sure, all of your people on vander Pump.

505
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I send it to everyone, except I didn't send

506
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 4: one to Katie. I haven't talked to her for a year.

507
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 4: I saw her in the comment section recently, and I'm

508
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,479
Speaker 4: just like, why am I going to send one to you?

509
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 4: But and I didn't send one to stand it all.

510
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 4: But everyone else, Yeah, I sent it to and I

511
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 4: got a ton of support, for sure, but I didn't

512
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 4: get as much as I thought I would from former

513
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 4: or yeah, former cast members.

514
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: I feel like at least just the respect level. It's

515
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: a it's a it's an Instagram story. It takes two

516
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: seconds and two seconds. It just also shows your followers

517
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: like we are all in the Bravo world together, So

518
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 1: it's you're obviously just supporting everybody and you want everyone

519
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: to obviously make it like everyone's trying to make it here.

520
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 1: Everyone's trying to work, hustle, bring an income for themselves,

521
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 1: for their families.

522
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: Like and also tell their story.

523
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: It's not easy the life that you know we have

524
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: in the stories that we are open to telling our

525
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 1: fans and basically putting our lives fully out in the

526
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: open for people to judge, scrutinizes and paint their own pictures.

527
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: But this is why you wrote your memoir to try

528
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: to paint yours.

529
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 3: And yes, exactly couldn't have said it better myself.

530
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 2: Where did I leave off on Bander Pump.

531
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: I think it was when you were obviously torn because

532
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 1: the whole scandal was going on with him in Ariana

533
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: and valid again, you guys grew a family over all

534
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: of these years filming on Vader. Yeah, so you were

535
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 1: kind of in a tough situation, like I want to

536
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: still be friends with both of them, but now you

537
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: don't talk to him at all.

538
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 4: I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm

539
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 4: being honest. There will be an occasional text one way

540
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 4: or the other from me to Ariana, maybe a happy

541
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 4: Birthday from Ariana to me, but there's not a lot

542
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 4: of communication with either of them. I think the last

543
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 4: time I talked to Tom it was like, congrats on

544
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 4: America's got talent. Before that, it was like, hey, Shina,

545
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 4: congrats on mass singers. So it's very surface level. But

546
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 4: I know since the book, not hearing from certain people,

547
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, so this is where we stand, noted,

548
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 4: And you know what, I'm thankful because I knew putting

549
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 4: out this book everyone wasn't gonna be happy with me.

550
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 4: But I don't care because I'm telling my story, my truth,

551
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 4: as best as I can, and I knew once the

552
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 4: book came out, Once the book was sent out, I

553
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 4: would see who my real friends are. I would see

554
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 4: everyone's true colors. Who supported the book publicly, who supported

555
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 4: the book privately, because honestly, either way didn't matter, but

556
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,719
Speaker 4: the public support, of course, like that shows people like

557
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 4: you said that we are a group of friends. So

558
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 4: I do wish I had more in that sense from

559
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 4: certain cast members female cast members, but seeing that I didn't,

560
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 4: I'm just like, Okay, you know what, that's fine.

561
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 3: I now know where we stand and I'm at peace

562
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 3: with that.

563
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 4: I'm very happy with where my life is at, where

564
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 4: my friendships are at. And I'm forty years old now,

565
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 4: like I'm a timetable.

566
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean at this point, you're not going

567
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: to beg for friendships. The friendships that are there, and

568
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 1: the people that are around you and that are there

569
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 1: for you and that are in your inner circle, that's

570
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 1: all you really need at this point. You're you're not

571
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 1: gonna reach out to somebody who is not doing the

572
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: same thing to you.

573
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: Exactly.

574
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: I feel the same way. And I'm twenty four. I'm like,

575
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: I don't need I don't need this around me, honestly.

576
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 3: No, exactly.

577
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 4: I wish I figured that out sixteen years ago, you know,

578
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 4: before season one.

579
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 3: That would have been beneficial.

580
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 4: But you know, live and learn, and that's the thing,

581
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 4: you know, I'm always trying to be a better version

582
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 4: of myself. I'm constantly trying to grow and evolve, and

583
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 4: that's life, you know. Sure, I've messed up a million times.

584
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 4: But that's how we learn, that's how we grow. And

585
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 4: people just want to like hang on to these things

586
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 4: that I did almost twenty years ago. Like I met

587
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 4: a married man nineteen years ago at a bar.

588
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 3: I just like I didn't know he was married.

589
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 4: There's no ring, there's barely internet, there was no internet

590
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 4: on my phone. Like it just it wasn't a thing

591
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 4: that I knew I was doing wrong. I was not

592
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 4: complicit in this affair. I met a hot guy who

593
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 4: said he was an actor. Welcome to La.

594
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: Rel. I mean, and you were in your twenties.

595
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: I mean anything, if anything, maybe the older married man

596
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: should be penalized.

597
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 4: Right, but I'm the homewrecking I'm like, I'm not even

598
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 4: the one still married to him. She did multiple times,

599
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 4: like why are we holding on to the twenty one

600
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 4: year old girl who just graduated college and got a

601
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 4: cue guy, Like, come on.

602
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did a we did a check off the bucket. Last.

603
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: Honestly, your memoir goes afar beyond the headlines. You open

604
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: up about friendship, betrayals, divorce, cheating, miscarriages, and so much

605
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: personal loss in a way that we've never really seen

606
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: before from you.

607
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 2: So if you don't mind. Like, let's start with the cheating.

608
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: Can you like take us back to that moment when

609
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: you first learned that Brock was cheating on you?

610
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 4: Well, ironically, I was sitting down to watch an episode

611
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 4: of Real Housewives of New Jersey with.

612
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 2: Him where to God, my god.

613
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 4: It was Easter and we had just gotten home from

614
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 4: a great day with my family, put summer down, and

615
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 4: we sit down on the couch to watch our weekly

616
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 4: housewives get our Jersey fis, And right before I hit play,

617
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 4: he was like, hold on, I need to talk to

618
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 4: you about something. And I'm just like, okay, and he

619
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 4: looked serious. But then also I'm like, as he starts

620
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 4: saying the words to me, I'm like, what kind of

621
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 4: dub joke is this? Like this isn't funny. And I'm

622
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 4: so confused because I'm just like, is there a hitting camera?

623
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 3: Like I don't get what you're trying to do here.

624
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 4: But then I definitely saw it in his eyes and

625
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 4: I knew he was telling me the truth, and I

626
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 4: just froze like I was in shock. I was pissed,

627
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: I was devastated. I didn't know what to do, so

628
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 4: I slapped him across his face.

629
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 2: As you should.

630
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was deserved. Then I got up. I went up.

631
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 4: We had like a little long, like not really aloft,

632
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 4: but we had our living room and then like five

633
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 4: stairs to go up to like the dining kitchen area.

634
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,719
Speaker 4: And I go up those stairs and I'm just like

635
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 4: pacing it. I'm just like, I I need to get

636
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 4: this rage out somehow.

637
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 3: Like I don't.

638
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna go beat the shit out of my husband,

639
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 4: like already slapped him across his face. But I'm like,

640
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 4: what can I throw at him? And I see one

641
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 4: of Summer's Rubik's cubes. I get the Rubik's cube.

642
00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 3: I chuck it at.

643
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 4: Him, He dodges it. It goes into the glass sliding door.

644
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 4: Thank god, nothing broke other than the Rubik's cube.

645
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 1: I would have been like, I rather replace the Rubik's

646
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: cube than my sliding door right now.

647
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: I was just like after that, I was like, okay, Shina,

648
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 4: you've gotten that aggression now.

649
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 3: But I'm like I need to do something.

650
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,959
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm calling your sister, and I'm like, what

651
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 4: time is it in Australia.

652
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: Okay, it's daytime, and so I call her. I call her.

653
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 4: She's not answering. I'm like, Hi, emergency, I need you

654
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 4: to call me. They're celebrating Easter with their whole family,

655
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 4: and so I was just like, please, can you step outside,

656
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 4: like really quick, it is an emergency, but I need

657
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 4: you to just keep calm on your face right now, like,

658
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 4: don't alert the entire family that something's up. So I

659
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 4: talked to her, She gets on the phone with him.

660
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 4: Obviously I made him sleep in the guest room for

661
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 4: that week. But then fast forward four days later, we

662
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 4: have Coachella. I have tens of thousands of dollars of

663
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 4: a contracted brand new I can't just pull out of

664
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 4: Coachella because I mean it's a lot of money.

665
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: A B.

666
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 4: What am I gonna tell my friends? Why am I

667
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 4: not coming? Why am I not doing these jobs? And

668
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 4: I'm just lying and I'm like, I we have to

669
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 4: go to Coachella.

670
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 2: So, I mean, work is work at the end of

671
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: the day.

672
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: If you had money on the line, obviously you're going

673
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: to go and take the money.

674
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: There's no question asked.

675
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I mean it was a very difficult

676
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 4: time because.

677
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: Why are you completely blindsided? Like did you feel any

678
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,719
Speaker 1: shift in your relationship.

679
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 4: Before completely blindsided. There were there were no signs really

680
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:43,120
Speaker 4: of anything ever happening, like shady or anything like that.

681
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 4: I was never like, oh well there was that one

682
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 4: time where he didn't come like, there was nothing like that.

683
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 4: So it was a complete and total blind side, and

684
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 4: I just I was like, I don't know what to do.

685
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 4: Him and my mom were not getting along great at

686
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 4: the time. I the next more immediately called he's now

687
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 4: my manager, but then he was still my publicist, and

688
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: I was like, look, I need you to be on

689
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 4: HI alert like this happened. There were all of these

690
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 4: false blind items coming out about him that he told

691
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 4: me because he thought, well, what if that girl sees

692
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 4: you know, all of these things. And it's like, oh, well,

693
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 4: you know what, maybe I'll put my story out there

694
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 4: now that there's like all of these other ones, because

695
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 4: for all anyone else would know, he did sleep with Raquel,

696
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 4: he did sleep with this other girl. He did do that,

697
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 4: Like no one knew that truth. When there are blind

698
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 4: items out there, most people didn't believe it. But after

699
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 4: what Raquel did with Sandival, it made everyone question. It

700
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,399
Speaker 4: made me question it, and I'm like, I go, now

701
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,720
Speaker 4: that you're telling me this was there ever anything with Raquel,

702
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 4: and he's like, I swear, and I'm like, okay, I

703
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,439
Speaker 4: believe you, but I would be an idiot.

704
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 3: Not to ask.

705
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, what about this because there was

706
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 4: another blind item some girl from San Diego said this, that,

707
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 4: and the other. And he's like, that did not happen,

708
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 4: and I'm like, okay, well, I'm just going to tell

709
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 4: myself that that probably did happen, and it was in

710
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 4: the first six weeks of our relationship. We were not

711
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 4: exclusive or whatever. Like I can get over that, but.

712
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: I know, I feel like it's so hard in the beginning,

713
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: especially in public relationships, because people can come out and

714
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: say false things, and you do turn a blind eye

715
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: to at least some things cause you're like okay, probably

716
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: or you know, you go into a spiral and then

717
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 1: you're dming back these random people asking oh is this true?

718
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: Do you have proof? And then at the end of

719
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 2: the day, like we would look like the idiots.

720
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: For even that dming these people back rather than being like, okay,

721
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 1: I need to have trust. But then when he actually

722
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: came to you about this, you're like, Okay, it's not

723
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 1: a random DM, like this is now my husband coming

724
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: to me.

725
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean as much as the blind items

726
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 4: forced his hand to tell me. I mean, I'm I

727
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:55,879
Speaker 4: don't even know if I want to say I'm glad

728
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 4: he told me because it was better when I didn't know,

729
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 4: because now it's just ruined my I trust and stuff, you.

730
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: Know, forever.

731
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that's sounds dramatic, but I don't think

732
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 4: that after that, I can never fully trust one hundred percent.

733
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 4: There's always gonna be the voice in the back of

734
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 4: my mind like but what if?

735
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 3: But what if? You know, Like I just I have

736
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 3: that Like have you seen kpop Demon Hunters?

737
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 4: No?

738
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god? Okay, no, So I was trying.

739
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 2: I'm watching the Summer I turn pretty right now, you

740
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 2: should watch it?

741
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 3: Nice? Yeah, so I know I want to watch that's

742
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: on my list, but.

743
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 2: Oh good, I'm binging.

744
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 4: I was explaining it to like another adult yesterday doesn't

745
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 4: have a kid, and I'm like, there's this like underlying

746
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 4: message in it. I'm like, when I'm watching it with Summer,

747
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 4: I was just like, what is this? But then I'm like, oh,

748
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 4: it's just about different like temptation and like the bad

749
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 4: intrusive thoughts that you think about yourself and all of

750
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,280
Speaker 4: these things where it's like, when I watch this kid's

751
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 4: movie about hunting demons, I'm like, know what those are

752
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 4: demons that we have inside? You know, you hear that

753
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 4: voice inside of your head and it's like, well, he

754
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 4: might do it again. Or if you guys don't have

755
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 4: sex enough, he's gonna have sex somewhere else, and like

756
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 4: all of these things that I think will forever be

757
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 4: in the back of my mind. But all I can

758
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 4: do is can.

759
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: Like, don't don't put yourself down like that, because if

760
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 1: they're they're gonna do it, they're.

761
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: Gonna do it.

762
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 3: And that's the thing.

763
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 4: I actually I've had conversations now with so many people

764
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 4: about this, but I was talking to Captain Jason and

765
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, and he knows brockwell as well, and just

766
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 4: you know, being from down Under and they are just

767
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 4: they're raised differently there.

768
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 3: They just they breed different.

769
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 4: And I was talking to him about this, and I'm

770
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 4: just like, you know, how am I ever gonna trust again?

771
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 4: Like what if he does this again? And he was like,

772
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 4: let him. If he's gonna do that, you can't control

773
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 4: and I was like, and that's that whole thing. Is

774
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 4: the let them theory that was one of the books

775
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 4: on the New York Times bestsellers list with me.

776
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 2: And I'm incredible.

777
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that just him saying that and just that is

778
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 4: a book I want to read. Also, that put it

779
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 4: in a new perspective for me, where I'm like, I

780
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 4: cannot fully control him. All I can do is trust

781
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 4: as best if I can, and you know, let him

782
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 4: do him And if he were to betray me again,

783
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 4: then I'm out for good. And he knows that, and

784
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 4: I genuinely don't think he would. But it has helped

785
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 4: my OCD a bit, just kind of let a little loose,

786
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 4: where it's like, you know what, I'm just going to

787
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 4: let him do him and trust that he is now

788
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 4: going to make the best decisions for our family.

789
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 3: No, but it's been tough.

790
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure no matter what I mean.

791
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: I think it's also just for a girl and a

792
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: girl mentality. We overthink, we're overthinkers. We especially in a

793
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,959
Speaker 1: relationship when you're not feeling one hundred percent secure, that's

794
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: probably the worst feeling. And just to have these thoughts

795
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 1: continuously going on in your brain. As much as he's

796
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 1: going to try to prove to you and win your

797
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 1: trust back. You're always going to have that in the

798
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: back of your head. And that's what's just so unfortunate.

799
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 4: And that's where I didn't know, like, m A, I

800
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 4: gonna be able to stay or am I gonna walk

801
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 4: away and have split custody and start a new life.

802
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 4: Like I went back and forth with it all night

803
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 4: when he told me, and I'm like, I don't want

804
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 4: to tell my mom. I don't want to tell my

805
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 4: best friend. I don't want to tell my producer. I

806
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 4: don't want to tell anyone A because I don't want

807
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 4: it to be true. But b I need to make

808
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 4: a decision of what I'm gonna do for myself with

809
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 4: zero outside opinion. I have his sister to talk to

810
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 4: if I need someone to talk to, and I have

811
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 4: my manager publicist. But then I thought about it, and

812
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, so I've got one person on payroll

813
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 4: and one person who's his family. I need one person,

814
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 4: just a friend who I know I can trust. And

815
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 4: so the next week after he told me, we left

816
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 4: Coachella on day three. I couldn't do another day and

817
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 4: I had to do Watch What Happens Live. The next week,

818
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 4: they asked Brock if he would do it with me.

819
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 4: I was like, no, no, no, I'm not trying to

820
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 4: fake this, Like yeah, there's no way. So I just

821
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 4: told Bravo, I said, you know, and which was also true.

822
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 4: I said, we just left our daughter for Coachella. We

823
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 4: can't leave her again to go to New York. One

824
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 4: of us needs to be here for her for consistency

825
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 4: in her schedule. I said, so, I appreciate the opportunity,

826
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 4: but I'm just going to come by myself. Ended up

827
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 4: having Michael Rappaport as the guest. It was a blast.

828
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 4: But when I went to New York, I sat down

829
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 4: with my best friend Nima, who was on shows of

830
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 4: Sunset back in the day. But he is just like

831
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 4: my person who I trust with my life, and I

832
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 4: knew that that would be a safe space for me,

833
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 4: someone who's not going to judge me, who's not even

834
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 4: necessarily going to give me advice of well I think

835
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 4: this or I think that. It was just you're going

836
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 4: to make the best decision for your family, and I

837
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 4: fully support whatever that is.

838
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: Just let me know how I can be here to

839
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 3: help support you.

840
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 4: And so for a year I didn't tell anyone else

841
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 4: about it, because I just I didn't want it to

842
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 4: be true.

843
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 3: I didn't.

844
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 4: I didn't still no, like, am I going to be

845
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 4: able to stay in this forever? But I knew that

846
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 4: for our daughter, I owed it to her to give

847
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 4: it our best shot. And I wasn't going to let

848
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 4: a mistake he made a couple years prior ruin everything

849
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 4: we have built since. So it was not an easy decision,

850
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 4: but I just knew that I had to give it

851
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,399
Speaker 4: a shot. I couldn't do what twenty something year old

852
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 4: Sheena would do where I'm just like, oh you cheated, Okay,

853
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 4: I'm out, Like I'm done.

854
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's so much more at stake here, and

855
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 3: how your daughter? Yeah?

856
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 4: And he has proven to be such an amazing father,

857
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 4: such an amazing partner to me since this, and so

858
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 4: you know, we work on ourselves every day. We did

859
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 4: couple therapy, I did emd R therapy, and I wrote

860
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 4: a book and.

861
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: Just got it all out. It was very cathartic. And

862
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 3: I didn't know what she.

863
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: Choose to put it.

864
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: What was your like decision make into choosing to put

865
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 1: it into your book.

866
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 2: Rather than airing it on Bravo.

867
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's I was gonna say.

868
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 4: I didn't know if we were ever gonna tell that

869
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 4: story or if it was gonna just be taken to

870
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 4: the grave.

871
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I knew that.

872
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 4: When season eleven came around, it was so fresh for

873
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 4: me that I was not ready to discuss it, to

874
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 4: tell everyone about it. I had so much hatred for him.

875
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 4: I had so much hatred for Tom Sandoval, So I

876
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 4: just took it all out on Tom. I just projected

877
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: everything onto him that was completely not completely misdirected. He

878
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 4: did deserve some of it, absolutely, but I projected it

879
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 4: all onto him because I just felt like I was

880
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,399
Speaker 4: in survival mode that season. I was trying to keep

881
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 4: my head above water. I was never trying to be

882
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 4: a bad friend to Arianna, to be disloyal to It

883
00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 4: was just I'm drowning, literally, like I was dying inside

884
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 4: every day. And I had so much rage and so

885
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,320
Speaker 4: much anger. And when people go back now and watch

886
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 4: season eleven and there's a scene where we're in like

887
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 4: that after reading it and it's like there's a scene

888
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 4: where we're in a bathing suit store and we like

889
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 4: get in a huge fight, and there were just so

890
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 4: many things where I'm like, it wasn't about the bathing suit,

891
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 4: It wasn't about the this. It was just like my

892
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 4: ways of trying to get some of that aggression out.

893
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 4: But I know for a fact, if I talked about

894
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,160
Speaker 4: it season eleven, our marriage would not have survived. We

895
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 4: were so rocky at that time. It would have been

896
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 4: so bad. Everyone the whole world would have turned on him.

897
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 4: Everyone would have hated him, and then everyone would have said,

898
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 4: how dare Yushena for trying to make a cheating storyline

899
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 4: about yourself that's Arianna's And it just it was like

900
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 4: it was a lose lose for me. So I just

901
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 4: stuck my tail between my legs and I did the

902
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 4: best I could. And then as I'm working towards trying

903
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 4: to figure out if I can forgive my husband, how

904
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 4: can I work towards letting this go and forgiving him

905
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 4: but still hating Tom Sandval and not forgiving him when

906
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 4: he's saying that he's suicidal.

907
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 3: Right now, you.

908
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 2: Were dealing with so many emotions.

909
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 4: It was so much, and I've lost people to suicide before,

910
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 4: and Tom had an affair and that is not okay.

911
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 4: I don't agree with any of that whatsoever. But it

912
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,879
Speaker 4: also didn't merit the death penalty. This was someone who

913
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 4: was an amazing friend to me for almost fifteen years,

914
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 4: so because he did what brought to it, it was

915
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 4: just like, well, you.

916
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: Were as much as you were yelling at Tom because

917
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: of Arianna, you were also picturing like you were basically

918
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: putting Brock's face on Tom's face because you were like,

919
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: this is the same scenario and I'm projecting my feelings

920
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 1: to how I'm projecting it to my husband right now.

921
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, And the hatred I had towards my husband at

922
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 4: that time, it made me have more hatred towards Tom

923
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 4: Sandval because I'm like, all of you men are the same,

924
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 4: You're all cheaters. Was like, I just had so much

925
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 4: rage that I just I didn't know how to get

926
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 4: it out. So I took it all out on him.

927
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 4: But after the season wrapped, it was like, okay, God

928
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 4: to reel it in. I got to figure out, like

929
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 4: can we stay together?

930
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 2: Like like I need to control this.

931
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, So we started couples therapy. I went and did

932
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 4: emdr therapy, We saw a psychiatrist, we went and got

933
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 4: brain scans. I mean, we did like everything, like how

934
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 4: can we get our health, our mental health, everything the

935
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,959
Speaker 4: best as possible. And that's why I just I didn't

936
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 4: want to tell anyone about it, because I wanted to

937
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 4: do all of the work first and see if I

938
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 4: could work towards forgiving him. And I remember the day

939
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 4: I told him, you know, I forgive you, and it

940
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 4: was just such a huge moment for us because I'm like,

941
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 4: now I'm not going to hold this over you anymore.

942
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 4: Now I am choosing to stay, and I hope it's forever.

943
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 3: I still don't know.

944
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 4: I don't know if these demons are going to be

945
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 4: too much one day that I'm just like, I can't

946
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 4: do this anymore because I can't ever trust you completely.

947
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 4: But he has proven to me for the last two

948
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 4: and a half years since I've found out that he's

949
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 4: in it for the long run, and he's incredible. He's

950
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 4: literally outside building us a dining room table right now,

951
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 4: like he's doing everything for this family, and I'm just

952
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,240
Speaker 4: so grateful for him and grateful that I was able

953
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 4: to work towards a path of forgiveness because sometimes I

954
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 4: think like, oh, well, it's just easier to leave and

955
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 4: be done with it, like that's easy it's not easy.

956
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 3: You have your life.

957
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: I think that's actually the hardest thing to do, is

958
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: I think the hardest thing to do is leave.

959
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then I'm like, or is it harder to

960
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 4: stay and then just deal with the mistrust and all

961
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 4: of that, or is it easier to stay and just

962
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 4: be like, oh, okay, well we just.

963
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 2: I think we don't have to custody and double edged sword.

964
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

965
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 4: So I'm like, you know what, it just neither decision

966
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,720
Speaker 4: was an easy one. Both decisions would take extreme strength.

967
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 4: It would take strength to walk away, and it takes

968
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 4: a lot of strength to stay. But I owed it

969
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 4: to our daughter and to the years that we have

970
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 4: put into our relationship to at least try. And I

971
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 4: am so so thankful that I did, because things have

972
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 4: never been better with us, and I hope they just

973
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 4: continue to grow and stay strong.

974
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 2: No, for sure.

975
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,280
Speaker 1: And I mean, eventually, once your daughter gets a little older,

976
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: are you going to tell her yourself rather than her

977
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: obviously looking it up or maybe finding it.

978
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 2: In a book.

979
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things we're gonna

980
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 4: have to tell her.

981
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 3: She has two older siblings in Australia.

982
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 4: That's the thing that keeps us up at night that

983
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 4: I worry about more than being like, you know, daddy

984
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 4: stepped out on mommy and he made a mistake. Like

985
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 4: I feel like that's not as big of a deal

986
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:07,319
Speaker 4: to tell her as you have actual blood relatives on

987
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 4: you know, another has She's never met them, No, they're unfortunately,

988
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:16,400
Speaker 4: like we get photos, we get updates, but at this point,

989
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 4: the kids are both almost teenagers and it's going to

990
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 4: be up to them. So I do hope eventually that

991
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 4: we'll be able to have a relationship with them, but

992
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 4: for now, we'll get the photos. He'll continue paying child

993
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 4: support and hopefully one day, But that's a conversation that

994
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,320
Speaker 4: I'm just like, how how am I going to explain

995
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 4: this to her?

996
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,239
Speaker 3: When? At what age is a kid emotionally mature enough

997
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 3: to take that in? Like I, I don't know.

998
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 4: We've got to have a lot of conversations eventually, but

999
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 4: we have some times.

1000
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,919
Speaker 3: She's thankfully only four, so.

1001
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, maybe when she's going through like

1002
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,399
Speaker 1: the birds and the bees or something like that.

1003
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: By the way, don't screw around.

1004
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: Ye oh my goodness, I know that's a lot. That's

1005
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: definitely a lot, and I feel like, you know, parenting

1006
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 1: is so hard, and my mom talks about it all

1007
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 1: the time. Like she's like, you go through a different

1008
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: obstacle every day and which way to turn every single day.

1009
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 2: And I can only imagine.

1010
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: God bless your mom four girls, Like I mean, I

1011
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 4: have one, and I'm like, I don't even know if

1012
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 4: I could have another.

1013
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 3: Like I'm like, she's a saint. I love your mom for.

1014
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:29,400
Speaker 2: Real, a saint.

1015
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: I mean she I think, out of all of us,

1016
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: though it's been really good, the only one and she

1017
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: will say this every days that still gives her a

1018
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 1: run for her money is my sister Milenia like fully

1019
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: gives her a run for her money the rest of us,

1020
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:48,479
Speaker 1: Like she was like I did everything the same, all

1021
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: came out the same way.

1022
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 2: I don't get it.

1023
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean my sister and Iro polar opposites, same parents,

1024
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,760
Speaker 4: raised the same way, twelve years apart.

1025
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 3: So there is that generational ga Literally.

1026
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're just so different, so different it's actually insane.

1027
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 1: So you are really close with Lala. How what was

1028
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: Lala's response to all of this? And then did Arianna

1029
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: ever reach out to you considering that the timelines kind

1030
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 1: of lined up?

1031
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 3: No, I've not heard from her at all.

1032
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 4: I texted her last week. It was the anniversary of

1033
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 4: her father's passing, and I was literally with her the

1034
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 4: night she got that phone call. I'll never forget that day.

1035
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 4: And I'm like, no matter what place we are in

1036
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 4: and life for in our friendships, I'm always going to

1037
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 4: wish her happy birthday and I'm always going to send

1038
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 4: her love on that day. But it was just you know,

1039
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,399
Speaker 4: sending you love and thinking of you in a thank

1040
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 4: you heart, heart heart, And so that's all we've said

1041
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 4: to each other since. Happy Birthday, Thank you hear hearththeart,

1042
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 4: Like that's literally our conversation. So, I mean it sucks,

1043
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 4: you know, like I miss her. She was my best friend,

1044
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 4: but I understand that, you know, she was going through

1045
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 4: devastation and she felt betrayed by me because I'm trying

1046
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 4: to be friends, you know, quote unquote with Tom still

1047
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 4: and I'm like, no, I'm trying to do my job

1048
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 4: and I'm trying to work towards a path of forgiveness

1049
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 4: towards my husband, and I can't release one without releasing both.

1050
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,000
Speaker 2: And now obviously she knows that, right.

1051
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 4: I mean, I would assume through the grapevine. She's absolutely

1052
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 4: heard everything that I've been through, and so, you know,

1053
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 4: not hearing from her, I'm just like, okay, So that

1054
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 4: is where we stand. Unfortunately it's far apart from each other,

1055
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:46,280
Speaker 4: but we I know, will always have such a deep love.

1056
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 3: For each other and friendships ebb and flow.

1057
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:55,240
Speaker 4: Maybe one day it flows back together, but for now,

1058
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 4: I love seeing all of her success. I wish her

1059
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 4: nothing but the best, and I'm so grateful that she

1060
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 4: was able to take a devastating time in her life

1061
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:06,879
Speaker 4: and turn it into this empire because she deserves it.

1062
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 4: She's one of the most talented people I know, and

1063
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 4: I'm just really happy for her. But I do hope

1064
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 4: that she understands that as much as she felt her

1065
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 4: betrayed by me, I was literally drowning and I just

1066
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 4: I needed someone to throw me a life fast, and

1067
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 4: no one was because no one knew.

1068
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 3: It's no one's fault.

1069
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:31,240
Speaker 4: I kept it to myself, But now it's like, Hi,

1070
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,040
Speaker 4: it's out there.

1071
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, looking for a little uh reassurance over here?

1072
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 3: Yeah? Did?

1073
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 2: But did Laala obviously give you her respect?

1074
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 4: And so Lala only found out about it a few

1075
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 4: months ago.

1076
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I didn't release.

1077
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 2: Her before the book or not.

1078
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a couple months before I when I

1079
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 4: found out there was going to be an excerpt coming

1080
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 4: out and that this is how they released books. They

1081
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 4: do a couple excerpts, and when you send out Galley's,

1082
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 4: you send them to influencers, to publishers or whatever, because

1083
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 4: you want people to start reviewing the book before it

1084
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 4: comes out. We originally send it out minus that chapter

1085
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 4: because I didn't want it to leak, but then it's like,

1086
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 4: we have to send the actual physical books out to everyone,

1087
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 4: so the chance of that leaking from a podcaster, a

1088
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 4: blogger or whatever. I'm like, I see that we do

1089
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 4: have to put an excerpt out ourselves because we have

1090
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 4: to get ahead of it. So I was like, okay,

1091
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 4: I'm going to have to have some conversations now, and

1092
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 4: Lala was one of those.

1093
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 3: I told her.

1094
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 4: She immediately was just like, I'm so mad at him

1095
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 4: for you, but I'm like, you know, it's been a

1096
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,439
Speaker 4: couple years, we have chosen to work through it, and

1097
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 4: I'm just out of respect for our friendship giving you

1098
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 4: a heads up that this is going to come out soon.

1099
00:53:57,040 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: And yeah, I just kind of left it at that and.

1100
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 2: I mean, you also didn't have to do that, so.

1101
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 3: That was and I forgot to do that with some friends.

1102
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 4: And like, I had Ali text me the day it

1103
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 4: came out and I was like, I am so so

1104
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,359
Speaker 4: She's like, no, no, you don't owe it's me. I'm like, Ali,

1105
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 4: you were one of my closest friends. I'm like, there

1106
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 4: was a night that her and I were here at

1107
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 4: my house, just the two of us until like one am,

1108
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 4: and I wanted to tell her so bad. But we

1109
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 4: were talking about everything she was going through post James

1110
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 4: and just dating an addict, being married to someone who's

1111
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 4: an alcoholic, and I would just like things like that

1112
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 4: that I was relating to my first marriage and relationship

1113
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 4: that I had on the show, and we were just

1114
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 4: talking about comparisons and this and that when you're with

1115
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 4: someone who either is an alcoholic or has an addictive

1116
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 4: personality or is addicted to drugs, and it just wasn't

1117
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 4: the right time, Like oh and by the way, now

1118
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 4: in this marriage, it just I'm like, that was the

1119
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 4: night I wanted to tell you. But she's like, I'm

1120
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 4: so grateful that you didn't. In that moment, She's like,

1121
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 4: because everything you were saying to me. She's like that

1122
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 4: was resonating with what I was going through, and so

1123
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,760
Speaker 4: she's like, I'm glad that we had that conversation because

1124
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,960
Speaker 4: that was more important for the time.

1125
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 2: No, for sure.

1126
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: I mean, especially when you're in those moments though, and

1127
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,320
Speaker 1: you just feel so close and connected with the person,

1128
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 1: you just want to spill it all and then you're like, okay,

1129
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 1: Like it's hard. I've been there probably one too many times,

1130
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: and I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth on things. Yeah,

1131
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,839
Speaker 1: but you just like get reeled in. And I mean,

1132
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 1: she is amazing. She's so sweet. She also came on

1133
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: the podcast and she's talking about everything and she has

1134
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 1: such a positive outlook on everything now too, and I'm like, God, bless,

1135
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: like that is amazing. Definitely, you were a friend of

1136
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: on this season of The Valley. What was it like

1137
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: filming on The Valley versus vander pump Roles?

1138
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:56,759
Speaker 4: It honestly felt easier. I felt the most myself I've

1139
00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 4: felt in a really long time. But I think that's

1140
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 4: because the drama wasn't around me.

1141
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:03,800
Speaker 3: It wasn't my story.

1142
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 4: I just got to be a part of everyone else's,

1143
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 4: so I had fun with it. We were still thinking

1144
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 4: we had a season twelve, so they're not going to

1145
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 4: waste my story on the Valley when it's going to

1146
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 4: be on season twelve. And that's also when I thought

1147
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,439
Speaker 4: enough time had passed that I'm like, Okay, when season

1148
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,919
Speaker 4: twelve rulls around, we're going to open up about what

1149
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 4: Brock did. Talk about the infidelity because with writing my book,

1150
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 4: season twelve, if we were on the normal timeline, would

1151
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 4: have filmed and aired before the book came out. So

1152
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 4: I'm like, if we're going to talk about it on

1153
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,319
Speaker 4: the show, then I have to put it in the

1154
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 4: book because the timeline. And so going back and forth,

1155
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 4: you know, it was a tough decision to put it

1156
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 4: in the book or not. But and then you know,

1157
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 4: the show gets rebooted, and so we're like, well, we're

1158
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 4: not telling it on season twelve. But knowing that there

1159
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,919
Speaker 4: is another person involved in our relationship unfortunately, who could

1160
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 4: come out at any point in time and say it,

1161
00:56:58,200 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 4: I said, I don't want to be looking over my

1162
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 4: shoulder for the rest of my life wondering every phone

1163
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 4: call I get from my publicist, is this the moment

1164
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:08,279
Speaker 4: where they're like, hey, so there's an exclusive dropping and

1165
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 4: this girl is going to do a tell all you know.

1166
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 4: So I'm like, there were so many reasons why we

1167
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 4: needed to put it in the book, but it just

1168
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 4: felt like my story would be incomplete if I wrote

1169
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 4: a memoir and didn't talk about one of the biggest,

1170
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 4: most devastating things I went through in my life and

1171
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 4: how I came out on the other side.

1172
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 1: Have you met Britney Cartwright's new boyfriend.

1173
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 4: See, I don't know what all has been out there

1174
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 4: publicly yet. I don't know what she has said, so

1175
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 4: I know it gets me in trouble when I comment

1176
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 4: on my friend's stuff before things are out there about them.

1177
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 4: So all I will say is this. I said this

1178
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 4: on a radio show yesterday. I am extremely happy for

1179
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 4: where Brittany is in her life right now.

1180
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 2: I actually met her on Special Forces.

1181
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's right, you did that together.

1182
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:57,400
Speaker 2: She was like a bundle of joy.

1183
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 3: Oh. I love her so much.

1184
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 4: But I I will say that the position she's in

1185
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 4: in life right now, she deserves it.

1186
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 3: She's extremely happy.

1187
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 4: And I was over at her house the other day

1188
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 4: hanging out, and she's got her sparkle back. I just

1189
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,439
Speaker 4: I saw it in her eyes and It just makes

1190
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 4: me so happy. I love that police support.

1191
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 2: I know you're also very close with Michelle.

1192
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: How do you think her and Jesse's relationship played out

1193
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 1: this season?

1194
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 4: Ugh, that one's so tough because it's so toxic. And again,

1195
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 4: I don't want to say too much about him because

1196
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 4: he's like, she's just trying to get a storyline for

1197
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 4: The Valley and I'm like, what's your storyline? First of all,

1198
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 4: you know, like, you're welcome that I even kept you relevant.

1199
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 4: But Michelle is my girl. I will ride or die

1200
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 4: for her, and I see everything that she's been through.

1201
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 4: I see the type of person he is. But you

1202
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 4: know what, he's very smart and he can be very charming,

1203
00:58:56,440 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 4: So there's that, but I see through it and I've

1204
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 4: seen the real him.

1205
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 1: If you were asked to be a full time cast

1206
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 1: member on The Valley, would you do it?

1207
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 3: If it makes sense?

1208
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: So so, Sina, this was such an amazing episode and

1209
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on Casual Chaos again.

1210
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 1: Congratulations on sharing your story so openly on your memoir

1211
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 1: My Good Side and it's so powerful and inspiring. So

1212
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 1: where's the best place for people to find it?

1213
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 3: Thank you everything?

1214
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 4: To follow me is just at Shena scha and A

1215
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 4: and form my book you can go to my good

1216
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:44,160
Speaker 4: sidebook dot com and the audiobook also New York Times

1217
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 4: bestseller that I feel like I'm even more proud of

1218
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 4: because I thought about this last night as I was

1219
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 4: reading my daughter a book. I've always been this is

1220
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 4: one thing I will give myself. I've always been so

1221
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 4: good at reading out loud. I was the kid in

1222
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 4: class who always wanted to raise her hand and read

1223
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 4: out loud. So the fact that that my reading aloud

1224
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 4: made the New York Times Bestsellers list on top of

1225
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 4: my writing.

1226
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Because also people could be so critical of

1227
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 1: your voice. So the fact that everyone enjoyed it and

1228
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: finds it soothing like that, that's a big plus.

1229
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely, we'll have to get you on Shenan Against too.

1230
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, I would love that. And that is your podcast,

1231
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 1: so you could also find her on Shenan again.

1232
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 3: That is every Friday. All right, Well, thank you, babe,

1233
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 3: I have to get to a meeting.

1234
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 2: Are you going to Bravo con I ask you that?

1235
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 4: Oh?

1236
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 2: Okay, good, I'll see you in November.

1237
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll see you, okay, all right, bye Babe, Bye