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Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks. It is Sunday, August seventeenth, here

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Speaker 1: alongside my dear Robot. We all know Robes. There are

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Speaker 1: how many love languages?

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Speaker 2: Five?

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Speaker 1: That wasn't a trick question.

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Speaker 2: I know I was trying to decide whether it was

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Speaker 2: four or five. But I think it's.

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Speaker 1: Fine there are five. Until now we have discovered a

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Speaker 1: sixth love language. Could it be the missing piece in

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Speaker 1: your relationship? Welcome everybody to this very special edition of

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Speaker 1: Amy and TJ Special because we're doing something we've never

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Speaker 1: done before, because Robes are sitting here having zero idea

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Speaker 1: the topic of this podcast episode.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you asked me, hey, would you trust me if

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Speaker 2: I came up with an episode that you knew nothing

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Speaker 2: about that I researched, that I led and you just

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Speaker 2: are along for the ride. And I said, you know what,

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Speaker 2: sign me up.

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Speaker 1: And here we are now on this journey because this

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Speaker 1: is something you've talked to me about plenty over the years.

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Speaker 1: And I think absolutely millions of people have used this before,

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Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people would say this

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Speaker 1: has helped them, this idea of their being love languages.

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Speaker 1: Five love languages. I think this goes back decades, but

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Speaker 1: they've sold millions of books. But this idea that we

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Speaker 1: need to robes understand how to communicate via love. I

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Speaker 1: need to understand how you like to be loved, and

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Speaker 1: you have to understand how I had to be loved.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I think in prior relationships I have absolutely

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Speaker 2: blurted out, you don't know how to love me. And

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Speaker 2: it's been frustrating because I think we all know what

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Speaker 2: we need and what we want, and we then tried

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Speaker 2: to apply that to our partner, thinking, hey, I'm doing

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Speaker 2: and giving you what I need and what I want,

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Speaker 2: but it might not be what that other person needs

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Speaker 2: or wants at all. And so there in lies part

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Speaker 2: of the massive miscommunication that oftentimes happens in relationships.

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Speaker 1: You just mentioned something that's very key because that's one

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Speaker 1: of the I think one of the things it teaches

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Speaker 1: is that one of the best things, the best way

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Speaker 1: to understand how your partner wants to be loved is

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Speaker 1: to pay attention to how they're loving you. You actually

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Speaker 1: have to figure out this thing, and so it's something

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Speaker 1: that's very they it's their bite size, right, these bite

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Speaker 1: we can understand the metaphor of language, right. We need

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Speaker 1: to learn how to communicate. And then five, that's very simple.

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Speaker 1: Five love languages. Now. Gary Chapman, who put this book out, said,

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Speaker 1: we all have a primary and a secondary. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what yours are?

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Speaker 2: So yes, I do in my relationship with you, But

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Speaker 2: I have found it to be fascinating anyone who's had different, serious,

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Speaker 2: significant relationships. My love language has changed based on what

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Speaker 2: partner I'm with, and that has been really interesting.

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Speaker 1: That's not supposed to be the case, I know.

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Speaker 2: Well, what I would say is that I have never

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Speaker 2: really felt true love in the way I have felt

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Speaker 2: in my relationship with you, because I was somebody who said,

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Speaker 2: and you, I think, as my friend knew, I said

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Speaker 2: this throughout my life that I was not into physical

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Speaker 2: touch and that I was not a big handholder, and

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Speaker 2: I was not a big hugger. And I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of my friends would tell you, generally speaking, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that might be the German in me, like we just

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Speaker 2: aren't touchy feely people culturally speaking, and I'm very German,

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Speaker 2: and so I just kind of always attributed that to

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Speaker 2: myself based on maybe even just how I was raised

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Speaker 2: in the culture in which I was raised, and just

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Speaker 2: kind of put it aside but now in a relationship

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Speaker 2: with you, is it blew my mind that my number one,

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Speaker 2: my primary love language is now.

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Speaker 1: Touch? Huh?

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Speaker 2: And that's wild physical touch and it even blew my mind.

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Speaker 2: So yes, my number one primary would be physical touch

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Speaker 2: and my secondary one would be acts of service?

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Speaker 1: Okay, what would be my too? Would you get? I

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Speaker 1: think we discussed this. I think I know.

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Speaker 2: I think yours would be quality time and words of affirmation.

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Speaker 2: But maybe I'm wrong. That's what I would guess.

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Speaker 1: Words of affirmation is certainly out there. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why physical touches might be number of four five on

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Speaker 1: the list.

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Speaker 2: It's low for you, and it was for me before,

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Speaker 2: but now I actually it's it's almost in a weird way.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe I wore it as a badge of honor,

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Speaker 2: like I don't need physical Dutch But actually I fully

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Speaker 2: do you know.

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Speaker 1: Words of affirmation, gifts giving, and acts of service? I

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Speaker 1: would I don't know how to decide these up.

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Speaker 2: I can tell you how you love me. I feel

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Speaker 2: like you first started showing me some love with gifts, okay,

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Speaker 2: and then acts of service period. You're you don't give

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Speaker 2: me a lot of words of affirmation. I'm not trying

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Speaker 2: to throw a dig at you, but that's just not

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Speaker 2: a strong suit of yours and compliments. You're saying, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're not a big compliment giver, but you're not. But

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Speaker 2: that's okay, that's okay. I recognize that.

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Speaker 1: It's not one of your love languages anyway. I'm just

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Speaker 1: trying to communicate with you the way.

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Speaker 2: No, but you are really big on acts of service,

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Speaker 2: which I appreciate. I recognize. I see that and I

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Speaker 2: see you doing that, and I think that is one

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Speaker 2: of my languages towards you. So I feel like that's

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Speaker 2: a good cyprocal one where I think we but maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't feel the same way.

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Speaker 1: Now, what is an act of service? How do the

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Speaker 1: people show love through an act of service?

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Speaker 2: Picking up I think, duties around the house without being asked,

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Speaker 2: but you just do it because you know it's a

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Speaker 2: way of loving someone, making up the bed, even preparing

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Speaker 2: a meal, cleaning up after a meal, cleaning up the apartment,

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Speaker 2: taking care of bills, like just kind of taking on

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Speaker 2: stuff that's hard and doing it because you're kind of

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Speaker 2: putting your hand up and saying, I'll take care of this, okay.

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Speaker 1: Now you just just describe to people who are in

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Speaker 1: a relationship like we have, who are very well established,

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Speaker 1: who are in the same home. Now, how does an

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Speaker 1: act of service show up and you're not in a

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Speaker 1: home together.

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Speaker 2: I would say opening the car door, opening opening a

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Speaker 2: door for someone, paying the bill. I would even think

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Speaker 2: planning a vacation or you know, planning a surprise or

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Speaker 2: a birthday. All those things are acts of service and

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Speaker 2: showing someone you love them by taking care of something

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Speaker 2: that most people don't want to have to take care of.

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Speaker 1: All right, So as a reminder, here the five love languages.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to tell you the sixth that we have now,

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Speaker 1: but the five acts excuse me. The five love languages

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Speaker 1: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality, time,

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Speaker 1: gift giving. Those are the five. A sixth has been established.

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Speaker 1: And there was a reason, Robes that I focused in

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Speaker 1: on acts of service when you said it and wondered

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Speaker 1: what type of thing would be an act of service

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Speaker 1: because a new survey says that the sixth act of love.

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Speaker 1: I guess the sixth love language is cleaning.

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Speaker 2: Funny because cleaning, I would think would be a part

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Speaker 2: of acts of service.

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Speaker 1: It's a part, but acts of service as you mentioned,

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Speaker 1: can be paying this bill, taking care of the hotel reservation,

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Speaker 1: going to get the car.

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Speaker 2: For getting the tail I swim you're out of.

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Speaker 1: Yes, those are all acts of service, but specifically cleaning.

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Speaker 1: Idea of cleaning. According to this survey of a thousand adults,

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Speaker 1: fifty four percent of them said that cleaning is their

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Speaker 1: love language. When they were given an option was that

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Speaker 1: women mostly don't have that demographic.

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Speaker 2: Better, that was like ninety eight percent women, and you

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Speaker 2: were among them. Though I will tell you this. You know,

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Speaker 2: everyone knows. We were friends for a very long time.

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Speaker 2: And I remember when you because you didn't have a

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Speaker 2: dressing room a Good Morning America for quite some time.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't until you became the anchor of GMA three

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Speaker 2: did you officially get your personal own dressing room. And

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Speaker 2: so that was the first time I actually saw because

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how you don't know how neat or

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Speaker 2: clean or how somebody is unless you live with them

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Speaker 2: usually or you're in their apartment. We had never had

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Speaker 2: obviously that experience. So when you moved into GMA studios,

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Speaker 2: so to speak, and I saw your dressing room and

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Speaker 2: I saw how you took care of it. And how

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Speaker 2: it always smelled good. There were candles. I think that

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Speaker 2: might have illegal, but you always it was like you

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Speaker 2: had lysol wipes and everything was organized. And I was like, wow,

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Speaker 2: I noticed you, I think for the first time in

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Speaker 2: a different way. I was like, Wow, this is really sexy.

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Speaker 2: Because I've always said, like, if you come home as

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Speaker 2: a woman and you like, what would be the sexiest

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Speaker 2: thing you could see your man doing, Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: vacuuming a bottle of Windex in his hands, Like, baby,

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Speaker 2: that is so hot.

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Speaker 3: Like I have absolutely joked about this, and you're the

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Speaker 3: first man ever where that actually came true. So, Yes, cleaning,

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Speaker 3: I would, I would sew and because I think that

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Speaker 3: I also.

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Speaker 2: Contribute a lot in that area. I'm very much into

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Speaker 2: having a clean, neat organized house. So yeah, when you

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Speaker 2: see somebody stepping in and also caring that much about

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Speaker 2: what it takes to keep a clean house, especially when

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Speaker 2: there are kids in craziness, that's hot.

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Speaker 1: All right, So let me give you some more details

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Speaker 1: about what these folks say in this survey. So yes

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Speaker 1: represents a cleaning is their love language eighty five percent.

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Speaker 1: So that's damn near everybody. Do recognize that cleaning is

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Speaker 1: an act of love.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Wow, I totally concur with that, because, oh, it

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Speaker 2: just you feel like you have a partner. That's the

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Speaker 2: best way I can describe it. I think something that

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Speaker 2: everyone and certainly I have been seeking for my entire

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Speaker 2: adult life is a true partner, and I think it's

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Speaker 2: really hard to find.

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Speaker 1: I never thought until I saw this, and it does

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Speaker 1: seem like a little throw away, a little silly thing,

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Speaker 1: and haha, and yes there's something there, but there is

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Speaker 1: actually more there than I thought. When you think about

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Speaker 1: how much time is spent arguing over who's doing this,

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Speaker 1: who didn't do that, who left this for me to

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Speaker 1: now do, or who's cleaning up after who? This is

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Speaker 1: such a big part of relationship.

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Speaker 2: It's a matter of respects, and I think that's where

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Speaker 2: it falls because if you feel like this other person

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Speaker 2: just lead like this is how I feel about my well,

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Speaker 2: I guess they're not even teenagers anymore, but my now

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Speaker 2: adult daughters. You leave stuff around, who do you think

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Speaker 2: is going to pick that up? It is an absolute

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Speaker 2: slap in the face to the next person who walks

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Speaker 2: in the room. So if the two of you are

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Speaker 2: living together, building a life together, and you come in

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Speaker 2: and stuff is everywhere. All the stuff from the night

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Speaker 2: before is in the kitchen sink like that. That was

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Speaker 2: always my big issue. Oh, thanks for putting it in

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Speaker 2: the sink. No, it takes an extra five seconds to

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Speaker 2: follow through and put it in a dishwasher. I don't

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Speaker 2: think I've ever like we've if we have collectively decided

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Speaker 2: to leave shit, which is very rare, it's because we

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Speaker 2: made a joint decision or we're like, f this. But

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Speaker 2: I've never walked in and seen you like just like

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Speaker 2: when you fully had time, just make a choice, and

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Speaker 2: it is a choice to leave shit laying around for

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Speaker 2: the next person. That's never happened. We have never had

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Speaker 2: an argument. I have never felt annoyed by you in

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Speaker 2: that regard.

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Speaker 1: I did not know this is going to strike, so

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Speaker 1: it's a nerve. This is hilarious. It's huge to what

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Speaker 1: you're just saying. Another part of the survey, eight out

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Speaker 1: of ten believe a clean home reflects respect for your partner.

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Speaker 2: Ex a men. I love the way they just said that,

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Speaker 2: because that is exact and I had no idea. I

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Speaker 2: did not read this article, but respect was the first

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Speaker 2: thing I could think of because I have felt truly

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Speaker 2: disrespected for most of my life.

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Speaker 1: Because really it usually if you don't clean up after

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Speaker 1: yourself in your home, nobody expects to always live in

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Speaker 1: a dirty home. So that means you have an expectation

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Speaker 1: that somebody is going to clean up after you.

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Speaker 2: Now that is a respect issue or the worst part

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Speaker 2: is where you're told And yes, I am speaking from

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Speaker 2: personal experience that I haven't quite let go of yet

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Speaker 2: that your standards are too high, that you have an

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Speaker 2: unrealistic expectation of what a home should look like. And

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yet, no, I don't. I don't want mess,

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Speaker 2: clutter and smells in my home when I come home.

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Speaker 2: I want to be relaxed and have Z feelings.

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Speaker 1: And here you go, another big number here, seventy five percent.

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Speaker 1: They believe that sharing chores is more romantic than giving gifts.

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Speaker 2: I so agree, really so agree.

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Speaker 1: Wow romantic though.

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Speaker 2: Yes, because I actually can I consider it And maybe

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Speaker 2: this is just I don't know, but I can. I

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Speaker 2: think a lot of women do feel like the onus

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Speaker 2: is on them to clean keep, to keep a clean home,

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Speaker 2: to keep a well appointed home. But when you see

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Speaker 2: the man in your life, and I am just speaking

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Speaker 2: from a heterosexual standpoint because that's my experience. But obviously

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Speaker 2: this occur for anyone's relationship. But when you see that

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Speaker 2: other partner care enough to also contribute and to give

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Speaker 2: a shit basically about your shared living environment, it feels

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Speaker 2: like a romantic gesture. It actually does. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it feels that way for men. For a woman,

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Speaker 2: where I feel like we assume that responsibility a lot

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Speaker 2: of times for whatever reason, and to see a man

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Speaker 2: step up and clean like you feel like he's taking

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Speaker 2: care of you.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we're just scratching the service here. Y'all ain't going

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Speaker 1: to believe how many people say seeing their partner doing

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Speaker 1: dishes without being asked is more romantic than receiving a

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Speaker 1: dozen roses. Also, Robes, there's research, actual scientific research out

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Speaker 1: there that says the five love languages as bullshit. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we continue now, and I have you all know. During

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Speaker 1: that break, Robes actually said to me again, this was

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Speaker 1: a surprise. She didn't know this was a topic. She

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Speaker 1: just said, they just tapped into something for me like

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Speaker 1: this is. It absolutely does. This is. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why I saw this and was so quick to be dismissed. Oh,

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Speaker 1: this will be fun and then like, well wait, this

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Speaker 1: is kind of serious.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, babe, I would say, any woman

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Speaker 2: out woman listening right now, you know who you are,

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Speaker 2: You're like, this reads, this resonates, this is exactly like people,

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Speaker 2: it's so funny. So any manner Like I don't know

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Speaker 2: how to make a woman happy, Yeah I do. I

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Speaker 2: can tell you clean, participate and actually be a part

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Speaker 2: of the household. That that's I think mostly what we want.

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Speaker 2: We want a partner. We want to share in everything,

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Speaker 2: and that also includes the chores.

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Speaker 1: Yes, if I were to give, Like, what's the simplest

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Speaker 1: way you want to improve your relationship this week to

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Speaker 1: every man just listening, just for one week, Sunday through

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Speaker 1: Saturday of this week, pick up after yourself in all

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Speaker 1: you do. That's every dish, that's every toothbrush, that's every

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Speaker 1: shaving cream, everything you do, every towel, put it in

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Speaker 1: its proper place. Clean the dishes. I'm not telling you

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Speaker 1: to even cook, but without being asked, clean the dishes,

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Speaker 1: and you would be surprised how much your relationship might

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Speaker 1: improve this.

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Speaker 2: Week without a doubt, Like, I can absolutely confirm that,

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Speaker 2: confirm that because you it does feel like you're being

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Speaker 2: taken care of. It's akin to I don't know, someone

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Speaker 2: taking care of something that you thought you had to do,

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Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, you see this person who

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Speaker 2: steps in and does it. And I hate to say

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Speaker 2: does it for you because it actually isn't that. That's

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Speaker 2: not a fair way to actually frame it, but that

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Speaker 2: is how it feels, because yes, this is a shared responsibility.

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Speaker 2: I hate when people say that their husbands are babysitting

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Speaker 2: the kids, like it's the same thing, Like no, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we are all in this together and we are a team,

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Speaker 2: and so this is shared responsibilities. But to have the

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Speaker 2: other person in your life acknowledge that is everything. It's

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Speaker 2: not like thank you, I shouldn't have to thank you

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Speaker 2: for doing something that I do every day, but that

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Speaker 2: we should actually be sharing. But I think that happens

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Speaker 2: a lot of times. It certainly has happened in my life. Like, wait,

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Speaker 2: why am I thanking this person I do this every day?

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Speaker 2: Why am I assuming this is all on me?

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Speaker 1: You know, we spend plenty of time every day and

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Speaker 1: this is something huge between the two of us. I said,

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Speaker 1: that's silly. Stop don't thank me for that, and thank

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Speaker 1: me for while. Even when I cook and clean.

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Speaker 2: I do say thanks, you.

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Speaker 1: Say think, but it's it's okay. Everything evens out. It's

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Speaker 1: it's fine, and it's it's not like it's my job

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Speaker 1: or it's your job. It's just this was what I'm

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Speaker 1: deciding to do for us, And I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: never considered that a big deal. And get where you're

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Speaker 1: coming from, but I came from a house where I

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Speaker 1: grew up and my dad would declare this, I cook,

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Speaker 1: I ain't cleaning right, that kind of a thing, and

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Speaker 1: I never saw this, And it's okay, we're a different time,

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Speaker 1: but it's any kind of shared chores and responsibilities. It

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Speaker 1: was either here or theyre, oh yeah he did the

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Speaker 1: she did, Dad, we did. It was so different.

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Speaker 2: I think that's how a lot of folks grew up.

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Speaker 2: My dad went out, and you know, my mom eventually

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Speaker 2: went back and was a teacher, but she was expected

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Speaker 2: to make all the food, and we were expected as

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Speaker 2: kids we would clean up. We got allowances, and my

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Speaker 2: brother and I would split weeks. But it was all

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Speaker 2: very delegated, and I mean that's just the way it

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Speaker 2: was growing up. But so when you see a true partnership.

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Speaker 2: That that's sexy as hell.

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Speaker 1: All right, last big stat, the big big stat here

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Speaker 1: is a number of people, all right, a partner who

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Speaker 1: thinks that doing dishes without being asked. If you see

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Speaker 1: your partner doing dishes without being asked, how sexy is

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Speaker 1: that to you? First?

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Speaker 2: So sexy? You actually feel warm all over, like you

346
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Speaker 2: feel love, like I actually feel giddy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that you would rather walk into seeing your seeing

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Speaker 1: me doing dishes without being asked than walking in and

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Speaker 1: seeing two dozen red roses on the countersip.

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Speaker 2: I think they're equivalent. I mean, here's the deal. This

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Speaker 2: sounds bad, but you do it all the time. But

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Speaker 2: when I I'll take it back to when I first

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Speaker 2: started seeing you do this, and I was so taken

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Speaker 2: aback by it, it was so sexy. I would absolutely

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Speaker 2: say the dish is one. Now I think I'm not

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Speaker 2: saying I have gotten used to it in the sense

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Speaker 2: that I expected. I don't. But I think they're equivalent.

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Speaker 2: I think is a fair thing to say, like either

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Speaker 2: one would be wonderful, But actually, in terms of the

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Speaker 2: long term man joy that comes from it, it probably

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Speaker 2: the dishes win.

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Speaker 1: Wow. So I've washed more dishes than I've sent roses

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Speaker 1: I need to do.

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Speaker 2: You want to know, but yeah, and that's a good thing.

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Speaker 2: You want to know what the other thing is when

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Speaker 2: you give someone roses, right, you're like, look what I did,

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Speaker 2: Here's what I did for you. And not that I

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Speaker 2: don't want to say that that's your only motivation, but

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Speaker 2: there is some joy in like da da da da.

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Speaker 2: When you're doing the dishes, there's no really it's a

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Speaker 2: thankless job. You're not getting any reward for it. There's

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Speaker 2: no oh my god, baby and a hug and a

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Speaker 2: kiss and a swirl.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: So that in a way, giving the roses might be

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Speaker 2: a little more self serving and doing the dishes is

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Speaker 2: a little more just selfless loving.

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Speaker 1: Give me the guests you would have, then you give

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Speaker 1: me your What would your estimate be the number of

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Speaker 1: people who say that seeing your partner do the dishes

381
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Speaker 1: without being asked is more romantic than a dozen roses.

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Speaker 2: I would say among women or just people.

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Speaker 1: There's people in the survey. It was among so who

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Speaker 1: knows how many, but how many women were in the survey, but.

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Speaker 2: I would say eighty five percent.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty close.

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Speaker 2: Two thirds Okay, yeah, but overwhelmingly the majority of women people.

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Speaker 1: I would rather get my partner doing.

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Speaker 2: Dishes without being asked.

390
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: Than a dozen roses.

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Speaker 2: That's a big because the worst thing is when you

392
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Speaker 2: have a partner, when you even even when you ask them, hey,

393
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Speaker 2: would you mind, and then they still don't do it.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you that's nuclear.

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Speaker 1: Last thing here. Look, if you can believe in the

396
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Speaker 1: love languages, knock yourself out. But there is actually research

397
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Speaker 1: out there, scientific research that says that the five love

398
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: language are essentially bs. Really, and they say they're bs

399
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 1: for this reason, and that what they've done, there's no

400
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 1: research anything that suggests any of these things are more

401
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 1: benefit relationships. What they say is it's good marketing by

402
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 1: using a metaphor that we can all understand language, how

403
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 1: do we communicate love? We all seem to understand that,

404
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 1: so love language, how do we communicate through love? And

405
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: then you gave them five very simple concepts to go with.

406
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 1: So yes, a lot of people have applied it, a

407
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 1: lot of people do use it. But the idea is

408
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Speaker 1: that you have to actually be fluent in all of them.

409
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: That's so true that you actually need to be able

410
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 1: to recognize so instead of you looking for somebody are

411
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 1: we compatible this or that? Are you the one who

412
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 1: is able to recognize and see what your needs are

413
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 1: and what the needs are of the people around you.

414
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Speaker 1: And it might be this, it might be that, It

415
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 1: might be a little bit of this, might be a

416
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 1: little bit of that. But they say, look at it

417
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 1: as a diet. If you want to use another metaphor,

418
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,959
Speaker 1: look at it as a diet road sure, pyramid, right, No, No,

419
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 1: the idea of yes, you can do all vegan. Yes

420
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: you could do a little pestitarian, you could do keto,

421
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: you could do all these things. But really the healthiest

422
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: you're going to be is to be able to consume

423
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 1: a little bit of this stuff in the right moderation.

424
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 1: You have to have a balanced love diet as well.

425
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Speaker 2: That I actually think both things can be true. The

426
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 2: languages are helpful in terms of just kind of identifying

427
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,879
Speaker 2: the ways that we can love one another. But I

428
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 2: do like the idea of tapping into all of them

429
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 2: because I actually always have a hard time ranking them

430
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,199
Speaker 2: because sometimes, like well, sometimes I'd prefer quality time, and

431
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 2: then sometimes I'd prefer, you know, physical touch, But then

432
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 2: there are times and I really need words of affirmation,

433
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 2: and then God, please please acts of service, and then

434
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 2: gifts are always fun. So yeah, I get that that

435
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 2: all makes perfect sense, but I appreciate the distinction. I

436
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:52,479
Speaker 2: appreciate kind of thinking of the different ways we can

437
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 2: love each other. You know, I love is love, but

438
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 2: mostly it's selfless and it's not self serving, and it's

439
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,239
Speaker 2: not seeking attention. And I think that's always I mean,

440
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 2: that's what I have learned over the years. You can

441
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: kind of see through some of the attempts as more

442
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: of a selfish I want to feel a hit from

443
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 2: your love versus I actually just want to do this

444
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 2: thing for you and I don't need anything in return.

445
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 1: There is a difference, and even the scientists that took

446
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: on or challenged the idea of five love languages did

447
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 1: appreciate that it got us all to think about the

448
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 1: other person's needs and just identifying how that other person

449
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 1: might want or need even to be loved. So I

450
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 1: thought this was very interesting. So I hope this work

451
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:32,919
Speaker 1: for you.

452
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 2: This was such a good episode. I actually loved that.

453
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 2: I didn't even think about it until I actually spoke

454
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: on it. Maybe that could be bad in the future,

455
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 2: but it was fun today. Thank you.

456
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: Oh, this one works all right, folks, whatever you're doing

457
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 1: out there, if you are trying to find a way,

458
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: just a simple gesture of love. Maybe just clean maybe

459
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 1: just clean up for that partner and see what happens

460
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 1: that starts somewhere. As always, also appreciate you hanging with us.

461
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: I am t J. Holmes alongside my partner. Let me

462
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: roll back. I'm head to the kitchen. See y'all sin

463
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 1: yeah m